Once again we send our love to las vegas. Where President Trump visited today. And you know what . He was very well behaved. He stuck to his script, he thanked the first responders, he didnt brag about his hotel there, he did good today, he really did, for the most part. He did get off to a rough start this morning. He read a story this morning by the way i say he read a story this morning, he was watching fox and friends. Nbc news had a story this morning that claimed secretary of state Rex Tillerson insulted Donald Trumps intelligence. While normally the president is very thick skinned about this sort of thing i guess this morning it bothered him. [ laughter ] he went on a tweet rage that started at 7 29 a. M. , wow, so many fake news stories this day, the Fake News Media is out of control. 10 47 a. M. Nbc news is fake news and more dishonest than even cnn. They are a disgrace to good reporting. No wonder their news ratings are way down. 11 18 a. M. The nbc news story has just been totally refuted by secretary tillerson and vp pence. It is fake news. They should issue an apology to america. And finally, 11 49 a. M. Ill be landing in las vegas shortly to pay my respects with flotus melania. He was laser focused on the people of las vegas this morning. What happened was the thing that set him off, nbc news reported that during a Cabinet Meeting in july, the secretary of state, Rex Tillerson, called President Trump a moron. According to the story, trump drew a comparison between making the decision on how many troops to send to afghanistan to what it was like to renovate a highend new york restaurant. And after that, tillerson was at a meeting with a bunch of highranking officials and referred to the president as a moron. By the way, if trump is upset Rex Tillerson called him a moron, wait till he finds out what the rest of the country has been calling him. [ laughter ] [ applause ] hes going to be mad. Anyway, according to nbc, tillerson was on the verge of resigning after that. But mike pence talked him out of it. The story was confirmed by cnn which meant Rex Tillerson now knowing donald trump sees this had to call a quick press conference this morning to address it before our 5yearold president had a temper tantrum. There were some news reports this morning that i want to address. First, my commitment to the success of our president and our country is as strong as it was the day i accepted his offer to serve as secretary of state. The Vice President has never had to persuade me to remain as secretary of state because i have never considered leaving this post. Jimmy until today. [ laughter ] hes never considered leaving the post . If you work in the Trump White House and you havent considered leaving, youre either asleep or youre ben carson. [ laughter ] possibly both. So then a reporter dipped her toe into the moron water because thats what we really want to hear about, she asked is that the only thing that you consider to be erroneous in that article . I think its the most important out of the article is to reaffirm my commitment to this role that President Trumps asked me to serve and to dispel with this notion that i have ever considered leaving. I have answered that question repeatedly. For some reason it continues to be misreported. Theres never been a consideration in my mind to leave. I serve at the appointment of the president , and i am here for as long as the president feels i can be useful to achieving his objectives. Jimmy in other words, goodbye, i will be gone by thanksgiving. [ laughter ] this is the First Administration where cabinet secretaries regularly hold press conferences to announce theyre not quitting. Usually happens just before they quit. But so then a reporter specifically asked tillerson, did you call donald trump the mword . Could you address the main headline of this story, that you called the president a moron, and if not, where do you think these reports im not going to deal with petty stuff like that. I mean, this is what i dont understand about washington. Again, im not from this place. But the places i come from, we dont deal with that kind of petty nonsense. Jimmy so he definitely called him a moron. Laugh laugh [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i wish he would have said, of course i called him a moron, everyone calls him a moron, we go around the west wing going, hows the moron today . Multiple news sources confirmed this moron story and stephanie rule of msnbc was more specific. A dozen sources are telling us, no, there is real tension between these two. Pushback, but he didnt deny it. Ill tell you my source my source didnt just say that he called him a moron, he said an fachlti fing moron. [ laughter ] . In a way thats even worse. Obviously this is a nightmare for the trump administration. The one thing they didnt need was more infighting. So it was now up to the White House Press office to do their best to squash this story once and for all. Good afternoon. Before the Fake News Media reports any more inaccuracies, the white house would like to clarify, secretary of state tillerson did not call the president a moron. He also did not call him any of the following. Idiot. Bonehead. Nincompoop. Imbecile. Empty jackolantern. San tan hand lotion. So stupid he got his hair stuck in a cotton candy machine and called it a hairstyle. Dumb dumb, dumb [ bleep ], [ bleep ] for brains or racist sweet potato. Thank you. Well have an update on this tomorrow. Jimmy all right, well, thats pretty comprehensive. So President Trump was on a roll yesterday in puerto rico. He was supposed to be there to survey the damage, not create it. But you know him. While he was on the ground he met with a group of local leaders, including the mayor of san juan, with whom he did battle on twitter this weekend. They met and this is what she had to say about that encounter. Well, i said to him, its about saving lives, its not about politics. And he didnt respond. But this was a pr 17minute meeting. There was no exchange with anybody, with none of the mayors. And in fact, this terrible and abominable view of him throwing paper towels and throwing provisions at people, its really it does not embody the spirit of the american nation. Jimmy well, there goes your invitation to the big new years bash at maralago. [ laughter ] i do have to give trump this, he does have pretty good paper towel shooting form. I feel he can make more shots than shaq. [ laughter ] but President Trump also stepped in it yesterday when he accidentally tanked puerto ricos bond by suggesting to heir recalled dough rivera that he would wipe out puerto ricos more than 70 billion debt. You know theyve had a lot problems and a lot of debt, 72 billion in debt before the hurricanes hit. Were going to work something out. We have to look at their whole det structure. They owe a lot of money to your friends on wall street and were going to have to wipe that out. Thats going to have to be you can say goodbye to that, i dont know if its Goldman Sachs but whoever it is, you can wave goodbye to that. Jimmy as soon as he said that, puerto ricos bonds immediately dropped to 37 cents on the dollar, which left it to white house budget director Nick Mulvaney to clean up the mess. I think what you heard the president say is that puerto rico is going to have to figure out a way to solve its debt problem. Which i dont know, really . Because what i heard the president say was this. You can say goodbye to that, i dont know if its Goldman Sachs, but whoever it is, you can wave goodbye to that. Jimmy i have a feeling were going to wave goodbye to pick mulvaney soon again too. [ laughter ] [ applause ] thats whats going on in our neck of the woods. Hey you know what, last year yahoo revealed a big data breach that compromised the information of 1 billion yahoo users . Now they say not 1 billion but 3 billion yahoo customers which is all of the yahoo customers. Not only is it all the yahoo customers, 3 billion is almost half the planet. Between this and that equifax hack, i mean, everybody, were screwed. Not only do we need to change our passwords, everyone i think needs to change their names. [ laughter ] from here on i will be known as lance addison. [ laughter ] guillermo, you are my side, you will be known as brad from now on. Guillermo all right, im brad. Jimmy whats up, brad . Guillermo how are you . Jimmy good. [ laughter ] we have a good show for you tonight. Depeche mode is here. [ cheers and applause ] Mark Consuelos is here. Robin wright is with us. [ cheers and applause ] robin wright as you may know stars in the very well reviewed and highly anticipated new movie blade runner 2049. Its expected to be 91 one at the box office this weekend. We asked our inhouse movie critic yehya to give us his take on it, and he, did here is yehya talking about the movie. Action its me, yehya, talk about the new movie behind me, the movie behind me is call ed blad rinsr 2049. The movie talk about problem. Replicants are the future. And then the guy is in the movie, ryan ga wrchlt zy. I exot picture with him, do you know me . Now hes very famous. And actually ryan is in the movie with the lady amy adam, dance with the moon something, he did the movie also he kiss the girl in the rain, the other guy is name not ryan gosling, his name this guy. He win the oscar. Hes in the movie, he dress like woman. You know, he look very sexy in that movie. His name, jerry lego, hes good actor. Hes harrison fort, harrison fort in the movie, all the move yao star war, hes in the movie they had a plan for the president , hes in the digi v digitive, hes in the movie with india with the chinese boy. Very funny in the movie 2049 is like 20 something year and im like almost 68, 69 now. And this like i wish i stay up to 100 year. Because i dont want anybody take shower for me. I want take by myself, you know . And the movie is good. Go watch the movie. Cut [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thank you, yehya. We have to take a break. When we come back, we have two National Holidays to celebrate. And my cousin sal serves hot dogs and mischief at nathans in cone in coney island so stick around [ cheers and applause ] when i look at you, i look back on my life and i know what it was for. What if i struggled. What if i sacrificed. And what if i swore id succeed. So you could wake up one day with the choice to be anything you wanted. Well then, my great granddaughter. It would all be worth it. Im going on a target run. You need anything . Toilet paper. Cereal. Maybe some chew toys. Got it. Get new lower prices on thousands of items. Target run and done. Hi, i need your help. S for ive been trying to find. A knee specialist. But nobody has an opening for months uuuggghhh uuurrrggghhh mr. Powers . You cant always control your feelings. I found one innetwork next tuesday. But choosing unitedhealthcare can help you control your care. Thanks, stephanie. I see on your preventive checklist, youre due for a colonoscopy. Its covered at no additional cost to you. Great no green. Unitedhealthcare my dbut now, i take used tometamucil every day. Sh it traps and removes the waste that weighs me down, so i feel lighter. Try metamucil, and begin to feel what lighter feels like. When it comes to helping maria iher daughter,le mom. Shopping for groceries, unclogging the sink, setting updentist appointments and planning birthday parties, nobody does it better. Shes also in a rock band. Look at her shred. But when it comes to mortgages, shes less confident. Fortunately for maria, theres Rocket Mortgage by quicken loans. Its simple, so she can understand the details and be sure shes getting the right mortgage. Apply simply. Understand fully. Mortgage confidently. Welcome to maxx you. You are whimsical, vibrant, statement making. We see what makes you unique. So we have something for everyone, at a price thats just right for you. Maxx you. Maxx life. T. J. Maxx new charmin ultra soft its softer than ever. New charmin ultra soft is twice as absorbent so you can use less. And its softer than ever. So its harder to resist. Okay, this is getting a little weird. We all go, why not enjoy the go with charmin . Jimmy welcome back did the show. Robin wright, Mark Consuelos, music from depeche mode is all happening. First, today is not one but two holidays. National taco day, and National Vodka day. I have to say i feel like since trump took office, every day is National Vodka day. Are you celebrating national vod taco oh my goodness gracious. I guess the answer is yes. Lets see how long we can g get him to lay there. [ laughter ] you know when tequila finds out you were cheating on her youre going to be in a lot of trouble. Okay, good, hes alive. This russia facebook election connection gets more alarming every day. Earlier this week facebook said 10 million users saw political ads purchased by rugs. Now we learn these ads were highly sophisticated in how they targeted key demographic groups in key areas of pivotal states like michigan and wisconsin where trump won by less than 1 of the vote. So special Counsel Robert Mueller and his investigators are trying to determine if russia received any help from trump or his team about where to place those ads. And of course for that to be true, trump would have to be able to find wisconsin on a map, which he most certainly cannot. [ laughter ] but whether trump was involved or not, its a diabolical plot. It really is. I have to say, you know these russians are pretty maybe we should just let them take over because theyre really good at what they do. At this point how much worse could it be . Hey, heres something i enjoyed. I want to shine a light tonight on the team at wpri news in providence, rhode island, specifically on a young sports reporter, mark dondero. Mark turned a mess of a broadcast into Television Gold just in time to win this weeks award for excellence in reporting. The patriots hosted the Carolina Panthers today at gillette stadium. And am i on here . Is my mike on . Jared, are we live . Is this live . Can you hear me . Oh, dang it. My bad. Am i leading in highlights . Okay. So thats basically the tv equivalent of how the Patriots Defense played on sunday. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy you know, its quite a recovery. That plane was in a nosedive and he pulled it out like sully, right at the last minute. [ laughter ] hey, this is exciting. The week after next week were taking our show on the road to brooklyn, new york. Which will be a lot of fun. [ cheers and applause ] for us especially. Hopefully guillermo will be recovered by then. Do you think youll be okay by then . [ snoring ] jimmy we will be live from b. A. M. , Brooklyn Academy of music. Guests howard stern, david letterman, billy joel, amy schumer, tracy morgan. And well have more guests to be named later. My cousin sal is already there getting everything ready in brooklyn. To get the ball rolling we sent sal to nathans famous in coney island, a hot dog place. We put him in uniform, we put him behind the counter, we let the fun happen. Sal get your nathans hot dog, step right up. Best on the boardwalk. Welcome to nathans, can i help you . Can i have a cheese dog, a regular hot dog sal i love your accent, where are you from . Brooklyn. Jimmy i thought great britain. 19. 96. Thank you. Oh, look who it is. This is the original nathan right here. Hello, mr. Nathan. Jimmy thats him. Hes responsible for all of this. Good to meet you. Jimmy he made the first hot dog in 1916. This guys the real deal. One of the best hot dogs youve ever beaten, the best in the world, nathans hot dogs. He made the original dog here. Get your hot dogs over here jimmy here comes nathans longtime competitor ethan. Ethans hot dogs sal this is not going to be good. Ethans, not nathans, dont eat that eat ethans ethans is the original original, thats garbage sal get lost, ethan. What the hell are you doing here . Eat ethans i told you never to come around here. [ bleep ] my hot dogs are the best [ bleep ] get the heck out of here [ bleep ] stop it now you are crazy are you insane here, you take this hot dog and put it in your face ill shove these hot dogs up your ass, you son of a bitch get out of here put this in your face what are you doing here . Oh, oh the cops are coming. Sal sit down, nathan. Youre finished. Sal go ahead, ethan. Nathan is really in bad shape. You killed nathan, you son of a bitch all right. Well, you know what, if you want any of those, theyre free. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy we got a hot dog vision. Tonight on the show, music from depeche mode, Mark Consuelos is here, be right back with robin wright [ cheers and applause ] dicky portions of Jimmy Kimmel Live are brought to you by Spirit Airlines. Less money, more go. upbeat musi its here its here its here im not a customer, but im calling about that credit scorecard. Give it. Sure its free for everyone. Oh well thats nice and checking your score wont hurt your credit. Oh im so proud of you. Well thank you. Free at at discover. Com creditscorecard, even if youre not a customer. Galaxy note 8s from sprintung was a genius idea. Now we can finish our work before we get to work. vo get the Samsung Galaxy note 8, right now for 50 off. With galaxy forever, you can upgrade every year to the latest galaxy. For people with hearing loss, switch to sprint. Visit sprintrelay. Com. Throughout history, the one meal when we come together, break bread, share our day and connect as a family. [ bloop, clicking ] and connect, as a family. Just, uh one second voice guy. [ bloop ] huh . Hey . I paused it. Bam, family time. So how is everyone . Find your awesome with xfinity xfi and change the way you wifi. Jimmy hi, there. Welcome. Tonight on the show, from riverdale on the cw, the very beautiful Mark Consuelos is here. [ cheers and applause ] then, their latest album is called spirit. Depeche mode from the mercedesbenz stage. That will be fun. Tomorrow night, jeff bridges, isla fisher, and music from steve aoki with gucci mane and tpain. So join us then. Our first guest is a golden globewinning actor whos having a very big year. She taught wonder woman to fight, became president of the United States and now, she leaps to the future in blade runner 2049. The world is built on a wall. It separates kind. Tell either side theres no wall, you bought a war. Or a slaughter. So what you saw didnt happen. Yes, madam. It is my job to keep order. Thats what we do here. We keep order. You want it gone . Erase everything. Jimmy blade runner 2049 opens friday. Please welcome robin wright [ cheers and applause ] jimmy how are you . Hi. Jimmy you look fantastic, thanks for coming, thank you for having me. Jimmy congratulations on all the great reviews for the movie. Do you look at that sort of thing . I do not. Thats blasphemy. Jimmy never . Nope, dont look at it. Jimmy what can you say about this movie . Because everythings top secret, right . Yeah, yeah. Yats jimmy i dont know what i can say without ruining what is it about this looks like a movie about two guys who are really dirty. They have a lot of dirt. Jimmy thats a good way of setting it up, two dirty guys. I can say one line about it. Its about, what is humanity . Anymore in 2049 what is it . Jimmy did somebody tell you thats something you can say or did you decide thats something i can say . I literally had to ask the studio, can you give me talking points . Because were spoilers. Thats all weve become now. Jimmy right, yeah. We spoil everything by tweeting. Can you feed me the line . Jimmy and they told you this is okay to say . Im actually a robot. Jimmy can you say if your character is a robot or replicant in the film . I cant say. Jimmy can you say if ryan goslings character is a replicant . Hes a beautiful man. Jimmy okay. Thats what we can say. Clearly say. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy can you reveal that the clown from it comes out of the sewer and kills everyone in this movie . Yes . No, we cant reveal that. You just got back from paris, correct . I did. Jimmy you were at a fashion show with your son . I was. Jimmy nice. Does he like going to a fashion show . I dont know. But he went with me. And its great to appreciate the talent. Because theres amazing talent out there. But i actually have my own fashion line. Jimmy oh, you do . I brought something for you. Jimmy you did . I know you dont like to receive gifts on the show, but its fashion. Jimmy okay. And its so your style. When i picked it out, this is so jimmy. Jimmy for real . Yes, for real. Jimmy what is it . Will you open it, though . Jimmy of course ill open it. Theres something hidden back there . Oh, okay, thank you. Did you wrap this . I did, i wrapped it. Jimmy you know, this tape, you can get a more clear version of the tape. [ laughter ] anyway, well talk about that later. I mean all right. Lets see what i have here. I cant imagine what this is. What the hell . Oh, wow. Oh, that is so me, youre right. [ laughter ] [ applause ] very sexy. You really designed this . I did, i did design it. But im wondering if its too long. Jimmy well, what im worried [ laughter ] it as little bit long for me. Also my back hair will be sprouting out. So i might have to get a little wax. I think your wife molly needs to take care of it. Jimmy i probably will give that to her. Well share it. We can go back and forth. Were like that. You at one time lived in paris, right . I did. Jimmy how long ago was that . Right out of high school. And i decided to go and try to stay there for a year on no money. So what do you do . You model. Jimmy well, quyeah, sure, thats what you and i would do. [ laughter ] but not everybody has that chance. You went, did you have like a plan . Did you think, ill go over there, see if somebody will hire me to model . Yes, and i had maybe two euro. It wasnt euro at the time, but anyway. And i said, okay what do we do . Were going to put you in a house, a classic six, with six other models, and the living room was so big that we played soccer from one fireplace to the next. Jimmy really . A big place. Huge, with no furniture. Jimmy did you sleep in the living room or did they have bedrooms . We had little pallets. Jimmy was that a great time of your life . Yeah, you know the worst greatest time youve ever had. Jimmy i see, because you had no money. You had no money. Jimmy also youre living with models, i dont know i think for me id love to live with a bunch of models. We werent living in squalor, but yeah. Jimmy you were living with strangers from various countries. Yes. Nobody spoke the same language. Jimmy thats weird. Yeah. Jimmy thats something else, to go right out of high school. I cant i cant even imagine flying across the country by myself right out of high school. To go to paris on your own. I thought you modeled. Jimmy i did model, yes. I was a hand model. I la hand aid right now so im out of commission, but other than that. Then is that why you got into this like designing clothes . No, its a giveback company. Part of the proceeds go to helping women in conflict regions all over the world and putting girls in school, helping educate jimmy oh, thats not sexy but its good. [ cheers and applause ] i know we cant really talk about blade runner, what happens. I do want to talk about another movie, the princess bride. I dont know if youre aware, on monday its the 30th anniversary of that film. [ cheers and applause ] thats a big favorite for a lot of people. In fact, my brother named his son after wellesl wesly. I thought you named him andre the giant. Jimmy he should have named him andre the giant, that would have been a great name. Im andre the giant kimmel. What was andre like . We touched on this once when you were here. We did, when i was here ten years ago. Jimmy i heard, tell me if this is true, when you first met him, you ran in fear. Yes. Jimmy thats true . Yes. Jimmy really . The largest human being on the earth was in front of me. Yes, i was petrified. Jimmy ive got to get out of here . What do you do with that . Jimmy how did he react . Hes the sweetest, sui sweetest jimmy you found that out when you came back later . Yeah. Jimmy how did he express that sweetness with you . We were freezing cold. In the middle of this forest, riding horses in the rain. And i didnt have an overcoat for some reason. And he just came over, he was always hot, in a tank top when wed be in nordic wear. Jimmy a big guy, yeah. He put his hand on my head and his fingers came down to here, and warmed my head with his hands. [ laughter ] jimmy wow. Thats like of mice and men. Youre lucky you got out of that alive. That is something else. Theyre working on a documentary about andre the giant, for hbo. Yes. Jimmy did they contact you . Yeah, we just did a piece for it. Jimmy you did, great. Thats going to be something. Well, its very, very good to see you and thank you so much for the nightie. [ cheers and applause ] ill send you some pictures. Robin wright, blade runner 2049 opens friday. Well be right back [ cheers and applause ] this cits kohls Friends Family sale take an extra 20 off and get womens denim for just 15. 99 boots only 35. 99 and the big one bath towel just 2. 99. Plus get the lowest prices of the season on levis youll get kohls cash too kohls. Cindy, you dont evenno dress. Ress. Uhuh, youre not going anywhere in those rags. Cindy . Introducing an allnew crossover, toyota chr. Toyota. Lets go places. Feel the power of thenew power. Smax. To fight back theraflus powerful new formula to defeat 7 cold and flu symptoms. Fast. So you can play on. Theraflu expressmax. New power. Im going on a target run. You need anything . Toilet paper. Cereal. Maybe some chew toys. Got it. Get new lower prices on thousands of items. Target run and done. Woman for the holidays, we get a gift for mom and dad. And every year, we split it equally. Except for one of us. I write them a poem instead. And one for each of you too. Woman cool. That actually yours. That one. Yeah. Regardless, were stuck with the bill. To many, words are the most valuable currency. Last i checked, stores dont take words. Man some do. Oh. alert beeps not everyone can be the poetic voice of a generation. I know, right . Such a burden. Settle up with your friends on october 17th with the bank of america mobile banking app. Settle up with your friends on october 17th this is goits got theni. Google assistant in it. So its super helpful. Watch this, hey google good morning. Google home good morning, claire. Its 72 and sunny. Dont forget to wear some sunscreen. Oh, thats nice. Itll also read you the news, look up traffic and tell you. Gh your first meeting is at 9am. And you know how sometimes youre in bed and you cant get out of it until you hear that one song that gh ok, playing your get out of bed playlist. [song plays] yeah, it can do that too. Its Google Home Mini and the rest of the google home family. Behold the power of energizer® ultimate lithium™. Music the 1 longestlasting battery. Jimmy welcome back to the show. Mark consuelos and depeche mode are on the way but first, littleknown fact about me. Sometimes i fly on airplanes. Thats right and our friends at Spirit Airlines have prices so low, you dont even need a reason to fly. You can just do it wherever or whenever for any reason at all. Seriously, sea ghee llermo, no food . You guys want food . Yeah, pizza great idea, i know the perfect place. Brb. Do you know what that means . Be right back i knew that. How are you doing . Can i have a cheese pizza . And since im saving so much money on airfare, throw in an order of garlic nuggets, please. Tony, garlic nuggets oh, barbecue, great idea. Heres your order. Thank you very much. Fuggetaboudit. No, my friend. I will remember. I would like some ribs. Okay. How many . Uh, what do you think . All of them. Great idea. Heres all the food wheres the chick no one. You guys want jerk chicken . Heated. No problem. I just got to go to jamaica, brb. Dicky with spirit you can afford to fly just about anywhere for just about any reason. Book now at spirit. Com. Jimmy well be right back with Mark Consuelos. With my moderate to severe crohns disease,. I was always searching for ways to manage my symptoms. I thought i had it covered. Then i realized managing was all i was doing. When i finally told my doctor, he said humira was for people like me who have tried other medications,. But still experience the symptoms of moderate to severe crohns disease. In clinical studies, the majority of patients on humira saw significant symptom relief. And many achieved remission. Humira can lower your ability to fight infections. Including tuberculosis. Serious, sometimes fatal infections and cancers,. Including lymphoma, have happened; as have blood, liver, and nervous system problems, serious allergic reactions,. And new or worsening heart failure. Before treatment, get tested for tb. Tell your doctor if youve been to areas where certain fungal infections are common, and if youve had tb,. Hepatitis b, are prone to infections,. Or have flulike symptoms or sores. Dont start humira if you have an infection. If youre still just managing your symptoms, ask your gastroenterologist about humira. With humira, remission is possible. The autumn carved turkey is back for a limited time at subway. So much turkey. At ally, we offer a credit card with unlimited cash back. But if thats not enough, we offer a 10 deposit bonus into an ally account. And if thats not enough to help you save, we could help you cut the cord. Thats right. Cancel it. What about my reality shows . Ok, if thats not enough, well give you reality. This is too real maybe a comedy . Alright, how about a comedian . Arsenio . Aint nothing funny about laundry well do anything, seriously anything, to help your money grow. People just walking in my house. Ally. Do it right. Use pantene shampoo together with 3 minute miracle daily conditioner. Their prov formula is like a multivitamin. Making your hair 2x stronger see the difference when you add 3 minute miracle daily conditioner. What is this . Its the new iphone, its for our anniversary. Our anniversary . Its thirtyfour days since we first met. I didnt. Get you anything. Oh its, its fine cuz. I got myself one too. Oh from you, for me, happy anniversary. I love it. That is very thoughtful of you. Thank you. Get the amazing new iphone 8. And with all at t unlimited plans, get hbo for life. Less than 40 per line for four lines. Only from at t. Jimmy welcome back to the show. Depeche mode is on the way. Our next guest is an almostblindingly handsome man who is about to join archie, betty, jughead and veronica on riverdale, it returns to the cw a week from tonight, please say hello to Mark Consuelos. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy how are you doing . All right. Jimmy your show, i want to establish, because we had Archie Comics when we were a kid, it was a very wholesome, almost too wholesome thing. Right. Jimmy now your show is a very would you say perverted take on that comic . I would say its not the archies that we grew up with at all. Jimmy right. Very perverted. You play who . I play veronicas dad hyrum. Jimmy hyrum. Now this was hyrum in the original comics. I can see why they thought of you. [ laughter ] like looking in the mirror. Jimmy now theyve al teared the actual comic to look nothing like you. Oh, yeah. Jimmy did they tell you they were going to do that . I didnt know that but the glasses are nice. Theyre still that rectangular shape. Jimmy the cheapst glasses at the store. Youre playing veronicas dad. Hes the bad guy. Jimmy a bad guy . A morally ambiguous, will stop at nothing, Real Estate Developer who wants maybe a lot of power, political power included. Jimmy is there any chance hell kill jughead . Mm jimmy maybe, maybe . So archie has to be careful, choose between betty and veronica all the time, seems betty would be the better choice . Especially if he has a dad like me looking over his daughter. Jimmy your wife kelly ripa had a birthday this week. She did. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy i got her a present. [ laughter ] ill take it. Jimmy i hope you wont take offense, i saw it and thought, this is so her. It smells like robin wright. [ laughter ] jimmy it does, that cost extra. Perfect, ill take it. Jimmy what did you get kelly . I pulled off a masterful thing, i actually listened to something that she wanted. Jimmy really . That she liked a few weeks earlier. Id love to go to the ballet, swan lake is ending in a few weeks, and she let it hang there. I got her tickets to the ballet. Jimmy is she a ballet fan . She used to dance, she danced ballet, she loves it. I got the tickets. It was the best gift i could have given my wife because she thought it was special. But what i was concerned about is that as you know, i fall asleep no matter what. Jimmy same here, yeah. I fall asleep anywhere. Jimmy you fell asleep driving once, right . I was speeding, 70 miles an hour, and the cops the only way i woke up is the cop on the horn was like, pull over. Jimmy same thing happened to me. I was at a light. I was moving. A female cop. She said, are you awake enough to operate that vehicle . And i went, i am now. Did you get a ticket . Jimmy no, i just got startled and i continued on. I got a ticket. Jimmy you got a ticket for sleeping . I was driving, actually moving. You cant get ticketed for sleeping. I think thats illegal. I was speeding. Speeding whilst sleeping. [ laughter ] jimmy how many point dozen you get for that . Sleeping whilst speeching whilst speeding whilst latino. [ laughter ] which, you know. Jimmy sure. Anyway, now im in a dilemma, i know i have to take my wife to the ballet. Jimmy yeah. Theres nothing that puts you in a state of slumber like a nice seat in lincoln center, the music, the dancers, and the whole time i knew that if i fell asleep it would be a bummer for her. Jimmy right. So i was like that kid. Were you an altar boy . Jimmy yes, i was. Did you ever do Midnight Mass . Jimmy yes, i did. Did you fall asleep . Jimmy every week. It wasnt just Midnight Mass. 9 00 a. M. , 11 00 a. M. I was pinching myself, cutting myself. Jimmy wake and up ring the bell. I made and it she liked it. Jimmy you made it through, thats good. Yeah. Jimmy snoring is not good at the ballet. Horrible, horrible. Jimmy wow, you really came through this year. What are you going to do next year . How do you top the ballet . I dont know, maybe like do a nap together. I think that would be successful. Laugh live. Jimmy that would be for your birthday maybe. Yes. Jimmy youre having fun, you shot in vancouver. Yeah. Jimmy youre away from the family now. Right. Jimmy is that a good thing . I mean, listen i think theres certain men at a certain age, probably shouldnt be left alone to do anything. They burn stuff down. Are you capable by yourself . Jimmy im very capable. Oh, yes. Yes, i can run a household. Right, yeah. Jimmy ive been alone for some time. Yeah. I was working at albuquerque. Before vancouver on another show. And i was in charge of getting my living situation there. And the house was very small. I could flush the toilet while sitting in bed. Open the front door and do a little laundry. Jimmy oh, wow. From the bed. Jimmy thats weird, you go from manhattan to albuquerque, you should triple the size of your place. Albuquerque, breaking bad was a documentary. [ laughter ] i have an alarm system in my house that sometimes you dont use. This house had an alarm system, broad daylight, walk in, turn it on, turn it off. I love albuquerque. Jimmy sounds like it. Its amazing. Jimmy you should be part of the chamber of commerce. So she helped me find a place in vancouver. Its not its the opposite of how i was living in albuquerque. Jimmy i see. The whole family can come out everybody can flush the toilets . Its amazing. The people in canada are so polite. Jimmy they are, yes. Theyre the nicest. What you do in vancouver jimmy theyre mclapping, se . Youll eat at a restaurant, eat bite. Count one, two, theri. On the third bite, the waiter comes up, how are the first few bites as a meal . How do you know its my first few bites . Now im codependant so i want them to feel good, coming up with new words, this is a culinary revelation jimmy keep coming back . Keep coming back. Another ting they do, when youre a store, they say what else have you got planned for the day . Im like, you dont want to know, plus i have nothing planned for the day. Jimmy sounds like theyre spaying on you. Which comes back to my wife. I think shes got them jimmy or the latino thing again. I started making up stories. Im going to rob a store shhh jimmy do they laugh . No, they dont laugh. Jimmy right, thats what i meant, yeah. Well, its very good to see you. Congratulations on the show. Its called riverdale. Its on cw, comes out next wednesday, 8 00. Mark consuelos well be right back with depeche mode [ cheers and applause ] dicky the Jimmy Kimmel Live Concert Series is presented by mercedesbenz. The best or nothing. Meet Steve Sweeney. Hes a doubledipping pension padder. Doubledipping pension padder he had two government jobs, two paychecks and padded his pension along the way. Hes a doubledipping pension padder now hes making over 300,000 a year as a lobbyist and a senator. Doubledipping pension padder so hes all set thanks to you, the taxpayer. Which is why Steve Sweeney had no problem voting to raise your taxes 145 times, including the largest gas tax hike in history. Sounds about right, coming from a. Doubledipping pension padder sold for eight thousand five . Hundred unicorn in rouge. Congratulations, sir. When you need help fast, call us with td asap on the td bank app and skip to the front of the line. Hi alex, i have your account pulled up. How can i help . Oh, uh. Great. Are you seeing this charge from an auction house . That doesnt look right. Ill take care of that. Oh good. Thank you. Because when you need help, you need it asap. Dicky the Jimmy Kimmel Live Concert Series is presented by mercedesbenz. The best or nothing. Jimmy id like to thank robin wright, Mark Consuelos and apologize to matt damon, we ran out of time for him tonight. Nightline is next, but first their album is called spirit. Here with the song cover me, depeche mode ive felt better ive been up all night i can feel it coming the Morning Light the air is so cold here its so hard to breathe we better take cover will you cover me way up here with the Northern Lights beyond you and me i dreamt of us in another life one weve never reached and you know were sinking we could fade away im not going down not today the air is so cold here too cold to see we have to take cover cover me way up here with the Northern Lights beyond these broken bars i pictured us in another life where were all superstars way up here with the Northern Lights beyond you and me [ cheers and applause ] this is nightline. Tonight, a nation in mourning. Were in las vegas with resilient survivors. I knew that if we stopped, the chances of us getting out werent very good. With a family at a loss. Their sister killed before her boyfriend could propose. She deserved a chance. She was literally dying in my arms. The latest in the investigation. What the shooters girlfriend is saying and why authorities are leaving it to whether he may have had accomplices. Plus ryan gosling and harrison ford. They know youre here. On their new scifi sequel blade runner 2049. Inside their oncamera relationship. It is not a romance or car chase movie. Im sorry
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