I dreamed about you last night. Thats very nice. I have did say, im excited. I had a big day. I hosted hq trivia today. You play hq on your phone, youre aware of it . [ cheers and applause ] if you dont know, hq is a trivia app founded by a pair of developers who wanted to answer a relatively simple question which was, how can we make 500,000 people feel stupid all at the same time . [ laughter ] if youve ever seen a group of people gathered around a phone at exactly 3 00 yelling genghis khan, its genghis khan youve seen people playing hq. I hosted today and it was fun. I read the questions, i gave the answers. You feel a lot smart where you already know the answers. I felt like alex trebek today. Thanks to hq for letting me do that. Guillermo and cousin sal and i introduced the game. We played with my aunt chippy today. Later on well show you how that went. Didnt go that well to be honest with you. President trump tomorrow will do what 9 million lowincome American Kids soon wont be ryan and mitch mcconnell, he will get a checkup, his first annual checkup since taking office. And may god have mercy on the doctor who has to see him naked. [ laughter ] in advance of the physical [ cheers and applause ] the white house released the official president ial xray today. It is very interestinglooking. [ laughter ] the most interesting revelation was, the contents of the president s stomach, if you look closely you can see that at some point over the last few months the president either ingested or swallowed a maryland license plate. [ laughter ] as well as part of what appears to be a tractor tire. Two happy meals. Still in box. A key fob to a maserati with a key chain that says the mooch. Hes got about 5,000 Fried Chicken bones in there. Three remote controls. And at first i wasnt sure what this was. Until we zoomed in. I saw turns out its mike pences wedding ring. [ add moaning ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy the president had another preposterous day today. On twitter this morning he did something very, very trumpy. He tweeted a new quinnipiac poll, 66 of people feel the economy is excellent or good. That is the highest number ever recorded by this poll. True, the part of the poll he didnt mention is far more of the people polled believe president obamas responsible for the stronger economy, not him. 49 to 40 . Not only that, 63 of those polled said President Trump is not honest. And 56 give him an f or d grade for his first year in office. Same poll that he tweeted. What a day it was today. Theyre all big days but this one. President trump today, he rejected a childhood arrivals program, daca, which is the program that protects young immigrants who are brought to the United States as children, people like melania. [ laughter ] who wound up here and [ applause ] apparently what trump objected to in the bipartisan plan was the senators from both sides who wanted to restore protections for immigrants from haiti, el salvador ask, a handful of african countries. They had to be rescued from difficult situations in those countries. Not only did trump reject the plan, he said, and before i share what specifically he said, i would like you to keep in mind this is an actual quote from the actual president of the United States. We can put this up on screen and explain this. I apologize for using this word here. But this is a quote from the president. Why are we having all these people from [ bleep ] hole countries come here . Trump said, this is in the washington post, according to these people who are in the meeting, referring to african countries and United States go about bringing in people from other countries like norway, whose Prime Minister he met with yesterday. [ audience booing ] jimmy im sure the fact that countries he described as [ bleep ] holes are mostly populated by people of color, and the immigrants he wants from norway are not, is a coincidence. [ laughter ] if it wasnt, it would mean we voted for a racist, like a real one, and wed have to get pitchforks and chase him out of the white house. I also assume the white house would deny he said that. They did not. They just tried to spin it. It really is unfathomable. You just cant believe that this is the guy running our country. The only Silver Lining, and this is a small Silver Lining. The only Silver Lining action we got to hear wolf blitzer say this all day. Shole, shole, shole, shole, shole, shole, shole. Jimmy what an shole. [ cheers and applause ] that would make a great alarm clock. So anyway. Thanks, vlad putin, you really got us good. [ laughter ] meanwhile, russia, i dont know if you heard this, russia has a new target. Hackingwise. The olympics. Russia, as you probably know, russia has been banned from the Winter Olympics because they give their athletes performanceenhancing drugs. Apparently a group of hackers linked to the russian government are releasing emails stolen from the International Olympic committee to punish them. The hackers call themselves fancy bears. Which happens to be the name of an upscale gay bar im opening next month. [ laughter ] i want to invite you, guillermo, and everyone you know, okay . Guillermo okay, all right. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy speaking of bears. I have exciting news for parents. Padding ton 2 opens in movie theaters tomorrow. Paddi indin paddington 2, the sequel to paddington 1. A family movie. The last few years rrated movies have been reliesing trailers with adult language and graphic content. Grated movies dont get red banned trailers which seems unfair. We decided to do something about that. With that said, on behalf of our entire organization, im proud to present our firstever red banned trailer for paddington 2. Announcer dear aunt lucy, you sent me to london to find a home. Ive got a grip on how things work. I like the way you sex me you have to be very careful with knives. Hold it right there i may look like a hardened criminal, but im innocent. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy those are the 2, the paddington 2. Were going to take a break. Sorry, kids. When we come back, were going to play hq trivia with aunt chippy and this week in unnecessary censorship too, stick around, well be right back. Resolution 1 binge more. Join the uncarrier, and get four unlimited lines for only rty bucks each. Plus, netflix for the whole family. On us. So, they get their shows. Lets go, girl youre gonna love this bit and you get yours. Watch however you want. On your phone, tablet, or tv. For just forty bucks per line. With no extra charges. Lets rock this joint s best unlimited network, tmobile. Evacumeteor heads toward as a the metro area. Go, go, go, go, go we can fit more. But theres still more room. We gotta go. Juicer . We dont have a juicer the allnew volkswagen tiguan. It fits the everything you need, and everything you dont. The world is not flat. You cant just pinch it or swipe it. Theres a whole world out there and no other card lets you experience it like the platinum card. Backed by the service and security of american express. You know h r block more zero even if you itemize deductions. You are all set. Thank you. You must take your taxes pretty seriously. Im a serious guy, margaret. H r block more zero lets you file online for free, even if you itemize deductions. Get your taxes won. Jimmy hello and welcome back to our show. Annette beping, Paul Thomas Anderson, music from sylvan esso is coming. Tonight i served i was a Game Show Host for the app hq trivia tonight. This is the app that brings all working america to a halt twice daily. It happens at 3 00 p. M. And 9 00 p. M. Eastern. I was on the 9 00 p. M. Version. I wanted to play it with my aunt chippy first. So during lunch today, my cousin sal and guillermo, what did you have for lunch today, guillermo . Guillermo i have poke. Jimmy poke . Guillermo yeah. Jimmy ha ha. You should have your own poke thing. When i look at you i think, poke him, hes a little pokey. During lunch today we showed my aunt chippy. We actually flew my aunt chippy in from las vegas specifically for this, to show her what it is people are doing on their phones all the time. Do you know what this is . No. Jimmy this is a phone. This is a game were going to play on a phone. Do i need glasses to see . Jimmy yes. Its called hq. You dont have your glasses . Have them in my purse. Jimmy oh. Can we get aunt good, you got your glasses. I got my glasses. Sal you have 10 seconds to answer and it goes by like that, really fast, really fast goes fast. Jimmy let me just clean those for you. You spit on them to clean them . Jimmy yeah, thats how you do it. Then you use a dirty shirt to clean them off . Jimmy it was a clean shirt. We have 10 seconds to answer these questions. We have to decide between us what the answer is. Im going to let you can we yell the answer out . Sal you have to push the button. Jimmy its noon. Pacific time. Its time to play hq. Guillermo ready . Sal yeah jimmy good luck, aunt chippy. Guillermo you got this, you got this. Five, four, three, two, one jimmy time to play hq. Which of these is usually worn on a finger . Ring. Ring, cowboy hat, bow tie . Sal are you sure . Jimmy im if you like it you better put a ring on it. Jimmy its ring, all right, all right. We got the first one. Oh, howard stern. Howard stern is king of all what . Malaysia, mead yores, media . Id say media. Jimmy yes, oh nice. Sal just got that in. The correct answer is media. Jimmy wow, we got two right. What if we win this . Im going home, going to the casino. Featuring 20 scoops of ice cream, the vermontster is found on what chains menu . Baskinrobbins, dairy queen, ben and jerrys . Jimmy ben and jerrys is in vermont, id go with that. Sal you missed it jimmy we said it was ben and jerrys, it was ben and jerrys. Guillermo how come you didnt push it, aunt chippy . Sal look at you, 2 out of 12. That is really it . Jimmy that is really that is bull [ bleep ]. You dragged my ass out here for this piece of [ bleep ] . Jimmy we did, yes. Sorry about that. In a way i feel you let us down, though. Sal you owe us, aunt chippy. Ill give you the 2,000, its in my death drawer. Jimmy wheres that purse . Its in the death drawer. Did you hear about the death drawer, jimmy . Is that what people do . Guillermo she has a credit card in there . Jimmy is that a lighter or a lipstick . Its a lipstick. Jimmy oh, heres a lighter. Theres a lighter. Sal condoms . Jerk. Jimmy i dont see 2,000 in here, aunt chippy. Sal why dont we each take a credit cart . Jimmy is this your phone . No wonder we lost, you have a Cricket Phone. Yeah, i have a Cricket Phone. Jimmy hello, hq . Oh, geez. Sal its from 1985. Whats the matter with you, im going to leave that to you when im done. Jimmy thank you, ill take it now. This will be your down payment in lieu of 2,000. All right, there you go, that was hq. The big lesson is, you cant play hq on a Cricket Phone. Sal its true. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy i guess thats a flaw. Cricket phone. All right. Meanwhile, while were having fun, there was a Health Crisis happening in florida right now. Monkeys in florida have herpes. For real. Wildlife officials in the state of florida are talking about banning certain monkeys from the state because they become infected with herpes b. How did monkeys get herpes . How hammered are people getting on spring break there . Apparently they tried to teach the monkeys safe sex. But every time they put the condom on the banana, they would eat it. Now florida wants to get rid of monkeys. Which i dont know, maybe we should keep the monkey asks get rid of florida, seems more reasonable. [ cheers and applause ] ahead, its thursday night which means it is time that we bleep and blur the big tv moments of the week. They need it or not. It is this week in unnecessary censorship. Enjoy. [ cheers and applause ] the question we are asking today, will Oprah Winfrey [ bleep ] President Trump in 2020 . Thank you the hollywood [ bleep ] association. [ bleep ] you winston churchill. Whats your highlight . Meryl streep [ bleep ]ed my face on the red carpet, the favorite moment of my life. Before i went on emilys season, i dated a girl with two [ bleep ]s. While weinstein was out for dinner he ended up being [ bleep ]ed in the [ bleep ] by a fellow diner. What we reported last night on access is that the president s [ bleep ] has been secretly shrinking over many months. Oh, does he love the [ bleep ], pat. Does he love those [ bleep ]. Right, pat . Do you love the [ bleep ], pat . Yes. The city of rocky river has a neighborhood. Stop [ bleep ]ing the animals outdoors. Ive never [ bleep ]ed marshawn lynch. So many people cant get over the election results. Says my friend who cant keep Hillary Clintons [ bleep ] out of her mouth. Im trying, im trying. Come on you, work. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy that was fun, all right. Tonight on the show, music from sylvan esso, director Paul Thomas Anderson is here, and well be right back with annette bening. [ cheers and applause ] dicky portions of Jimmy Kimmel Live are brought to you by zip recruiter, the smartest way to hire. Try it for free at ziprecruiter. Com live. At ally, we offer low rates on home loans. But if thats not enough, we offer our price match guarantee too. And if thats not enough. We should move. Our home team will help you every step of the way. Still not enough . Its smaller than id like. Well help you finance your dream home. Its perfect. Oh, was this built on an ancient Burial Ground . Okay. Then well have her cleanse your house of evil spirits. Well do anything, spiritual chatter seriously anything to help you get your home. Ally. Do it right. Jimmy tonight the writer and director of many great movies including the critically acclaimed new one phantom thread, Paul Thomas Anderson is here. Then, they are a duo all the way from north carolina. Their new single is called parade, sylvan esso from the mercedesbenz stage. [ cheers and applause ] next week, we have new shows with gerard butler, kristen bell, bill maher, adam levine, sarah hyland, jason jones, melissa benoist, will poulter, and music from ajr, mavis staples, lauv, and maroon 5. So please join us for that next week. [ cheers and applause ] our first guest is a multioscar nominated actress whom you know from a pile of great performances in the grifters, american beauty, the kids are all right, and many more. Her latest is a reallife romantic drama called film stars dont die in liverpool. Its in theaters now. Please welcome annette bening. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy its great to have you here. Thank you. Jimmy youve not been here before. Thank you for having me. Jimmy its exciting. I dont know, its great to have you here. I dont know if your husband, Warren Beatty, mentioned this. But i met him at the oscars. He did. He mentioned that. Jimmy yeah. Yeah, what happened . Where were you when the whole debacle happened . Jimmy what debacle . Was there a debacle . [ laughter ] no, seriously, where were you . Jimmy i was sitting in the audience. I was in like the fourth row. No. Jimmy getting ready to wrap the show up from the audience. And then, you know, all hell broke loose on stage. Yes . And i had to go back up there, which i wasnt planning to do. Oh my gosh. Jimmy where were you when it happened . I was at home watching the show with my daughter. Jimmy wow. And when the moment happened where the wrong envelope was handed to them, and then everything started to fall apart, it was sort of like a dream. And we, my daughter and i, both started screaming, basically. We were stunned. I thought he handled it incredibly well. Jimmy not only did he handle it well on stage [ cheers and applause ] he handled it very i still think about this from time to time. After it all happened did you speak to him . Very quickly. My impulse was to call him right away. Jimmy oh, okay. And i did. I called him. And he picked up the phone. Jimmy does he have a Cricket Phone by any chance . He does not. He picked up his phone. I just how are you, my god, you did a great job but what happened . And he said, i have the envelopes and im not giving them to anyone. Jimmy thats funny, thats exactly what i heard him say. Thats right. Jimmy and it was interesting. Because everyone was gathered around. The people who really made the mistake were kind of standing off in the corner hoping that it got blamed on warren. And warren said, i have the envelopes. Somebody said, let us have the envelopes. Hes like, im not giving anyone these envelopes. As far as i know, he took the envelopes home with him. He did. He took the envelopes home. But he gave Barry Jenkins his. Jimmy i see. For winning for jimmy and the other one . Thats a good question. Maybe its still in my house. Jimmy thats a piece of oscar history, make sure the maid doesnt throw that in the garbage. Ill get on that. Jimmy maybe have him slip it into somebodys pocket at the oscars this year, that would be the way to go. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] oh, god. Jimmy wow, thats interesting. He was okay with the whole thing, right . He was okay. I mean, i was so impressed with how he handled that moment. In front of how many people, 2 billion people or some crazy jimmy they say that but i dont know. Who knows. Its a lot of people. Jimmy it is a lot of people. No, he was shocked. And then, you know. Jimmy did you get asked about it nonstop every day for a while . Yes. Jimmy yeah, right. Yes, absolutely. Jimmy you almost cant leave the house after that. I learned today that you are were born in topeka, kansas. I was born in topeka. What . Jimmy no, i actually made that up. [ laughter ] this is a good rallying point for us. Yes. Jimmy is that where you grew up . Well, i then we moved to wichita when i was 1. And we were there till i was 7. Im the youngest of four. We moved to san diego, and i was there till i went to college. Jimmy gotcha. How did you what was your First Experience with acting . Was it in high school, then it went from there . Yeah, it was in high school. Then i went to Community College in san diego, a place called mesa college, where there was an incredibly great dy just hear a yes for mesa co