Huh. Thats donald trump jr. Just a chill, normal dude, who owns who owns a mask of his fathers face. [ laughter ] i love you, don jr. [ laughter ] the white house released the official portraits of President Trump and Vice President mike pence today. And they put one of steve bannon out on the front stoop. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] in an interview yesterday, white house chief of staff, john kelly, said the civil war was caused by a lack of ability to compromise. Even weirder, he said that pearl harbor was an air Traffic Control issue. [ laughter ] i dont know why we ever thought there was a reasonable person working in trumps white house. [ light laughter ] thats like going into a hot topic and asking to meet their rocket scientist. [ light laughter ] a white house official confirmed today that President Trump will not visit the korean Demilitarized Zone during his Upcoming Trip to asia. In fact to prevent an international incident, trumps aides will just take him to Panda Express and tell him its asia. [ cheers and applause ] their english you know, i just got back from asia, and their english is very good. [ laughter ] also, do you know they have an asia at laguardia . [ laughter ] according to a new poll, Mitch Mcconnell is the nations least popular senator, which explains the festivities over at ted cruzs office. [ laughter and applause ] engineers at ford recently created a robotic butt. A robotic butt. [ light laughter ] designed to simulate the effect of sitting in a car seat for over a decade. Said designers, right, thats why we made it. [ laughter ] who left the robot butt out . [ laughter ] do you like that, wally . Youve enjoyed robot butt all day. [ laughter ] theres no time today that ive told the robot butt joke that wally hasnt laughed the loudest. [ laughter ] today was Christopher Columbus birthday. And if youre wondering what to get him, how about something that already belongs to someone else . [ light laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] chipotle offered 3 burritos today to any customers who ordered in their halloween costume. Good news for the front of the horse, but terrible news for the back. [ laughter and applause ] and finally, during an interview with fox news, as weve mentioned, white house chief of staff john kelly said that the lack of ability to compromise led to the civil war. Here to comment is one of our writers, amber, in a segment we call ambers minute of fury. [ cheers and applause ] fool the lack of compromise led to the civil war . Lack of compromise . Thats an awfully strange way to pronounce slavery. [ laughter ] it wasnt a lack of compromise that led to the civil war. A lack of compromise led to the mullet. [ laughter ] thats two different haircuts having a civil war on your head. [ light laughter ] and there is no winner. Also, lincoln did try to compromise with slave owners. He offered tax breaks, suggested slavery be legal in a few states, and even proposed reparations for slave owners. You heard right. Reparations to slave owners for losing slaves now you know they off if they offered slave owners reparations, you know we aint never gettin any. [ light laughter ] in addition to all that, john kelly had the nerve to say robert e. Lee was an honorable man. Honorable his army kidnapped free black people and sold them into slavery. That is true. Not a lot of people know that, because they left that part out of the statues [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] look, if the civil war was due to a lack of compromise, letters home from the war would have sounded like this. Dearest rebecca, i regret to inform you that we are going to war as compromise has failed. The south offered to only have slavery on monday, wednesday, friday. The north countered with slavery six days a week, but on the seventh day, the slaves were in charge. Then we came back with, what about on fridays we do casual slavery, and let the slaves wear flip flops . But alas, no compromise could be reached. Please make sure my statue overlooks a payless shoe store. [ laughter ] and finally, general kelly, what are you doing . Every sane person on both sides thought a respectable military man like you could be the voice of reason in the white house. Tyra banks put it best when she said i was rooting for you we were all rooting for you how dare you [ cheers and applause ] this has been ambers minute of fury. [ cheers and applause ] seth amber ruffin, everybody. Give it up we have a great show for you tonight. From Anthony Bourdain parts unknown on cnn, Anthony Bourdain is here. [ cheers and applause ] by far the best person to get from that show. Shes the star of youre the worst on fxx. Aya cash is here, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] and his book thank you for coming to hattiesburg, is available in paperback now. Todd barry, a very funny man, is joining us tonight. [ cheers and applause ] happy halloween, everybody. I hope youre enjoying spending it with us. Were certainly happy to have you here. My son, its his second halloween and this year we decided he would dress up as a sailor. We made that decision because our dog, frisbee, already had a sailor costume. [ laughter ] so my wife i was at work all day so she sent me a picture of a couple of sailors. And you can tell by their expressions, neither of them are enjoying it very much. There they are, look at those two. [ audience aws ] [ applause ] later, though, ash went out on the street, and this next photo, i have to say, he looks like just a sailor on leave during fleet week, just very chill. [ laughter and applause ] pretty good. All right. Lets move on, everybody. White house press secretary, Sarah Huckabee sanders, has been holding a lot of press briefings lately, but i dont think all the questions we need answered have been asked. So we decided to hold another one right here, right now. Thats right. Sarah Huckabee Sanders and the late night press corps are here in our studio and ready to go. So without further ado, its time for the late night White House Press briefing. [ cheers and applause ] seth sarah, sarah. Sarah sarah, sarah, sarah, over here, yes. Sarah, thank you. Seth meyers, late night with seth meyers. Secretary sanders, why do you think the country is so frustrated with the Trump Presidency . Its because it should have ended yesterday. [ laughter ] seth yesterday. Great. [ cheers and applause ] what do you consider to be your main responsibility as White House Press secretary . To create fake information. [ light laughter ] [ applause ] seth what are the what are the five words that scare chief of staff john kelly the most . The president tweeted this morning. [ laughter and applause ] seth what was President Trump looking for when he was putting together his Campaign Staff . Regular offenders that have been in massive amounts of trouble. [ laughter ] seth how is the white house staff handling the new developments in the Mueller Investigation . They might start drinking. [ laughter ] seth lets say hypothetically that donald trump was offered an immunity deal, but in order to get it, he had to incriminate his two sons, eric and donald. Hell take it. [ laughter ] seth whats trump trying to hide with that long tie . Probably a pretty big waist. [ laughter ] seth so today is halloween and it seems the average iq in the white house jumped several points. Why is that . We have some kids with us here today. [ laughter and applause ] seth is it true the white house is putting eric trump up for adoption . Were not there yet. Were still in that process. [ laughter ] seth what do you say to donald trump to get him to show up to cabinet meetings . There will be lots of fun and im sure lots of candy. [ laughter ] seth what does donald trump look for in a spray tanner . An enormous amount of coverage. [ laughter ] seth when does President Trump change his pants . I think that any time there is leaking. [ laughter and applause ] seth i heard arbys is looking for a new slogan. Any ideas . All hat, no cattle. [ laughter ] seth how is ivanka doing . Tomorrow is her birthday. Seth actually, it was yesterday. I dont care. [ laughter ] seth what did melania give President Trump when she turned him down for sex on Election Night . Inaugural balls. [ cheers and applause ] seth what would happen if i shaved off my eyebrows . They will come back stronger than ever before. [ laughter ] seth i heard President Trump sat on the toilet this morning without tweeting. This is another important milestone. [ laughter ] seth well, there you have it. Were out of time. So on behalf on the rest of the press corps, have a good night. Well be right back with Anthony Bourdain. [ cheers and applause ] this is google home mini. It makes shopping super easy. Like when you finally get home from the store but forgot that one thing. Just say, hey google, buy dog food. It knows that was a disaster, and this ones you fav. And while youre doing that, it can do this okay. Ordered coffee. And when you dont want to share everything with your family. [sneezing] reordering gummy vitamins. And you even get free delivery from here here here and lots of other places with google express. Google home and google home mini, now starting at 29. But when we brought our daughter home, that was it. Now i have nicoderm cq. The nicoderm cq patch with unique extended release Technology Helps prevent your urge to smoke all day. Its the best thing that ever happened to me. 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[ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back, everybody. And please, give it up for the 8g band right over there. [ cheers and applause ] back with us tonight, he was David Lettermans drummer for almost 30 years on both nbcs late night and the late show for cbs. He continues to be a highly sought after session musician and his solo album figments was recently reissued and is available on itunes. Anton fig, everybody [ cheers and applause ] and this is very exciting, as well. Helping us out today on bass, he is a member of the legendary new york rock band, the strokes as well as his own band, summer moon who will kick off a tour beginning november 6th in brooklyn. Nikolai fraiture is here, everybody [ cheers and applause ] thank you so much for filling in, nikolai, great to have you. Thank you. Seth our first guest tonight is a chef, bestselling author, and host of the emmy and peabody awardwinning series Anthony Bourdain parts unknown. New episodes air sunday nights on cnn. Lets take a look. What is puerto rico . Its not a state. Its kind of like a colony, but its not. Its not kind, it is. It is a colony. What is it for you . Its an unincorporated territory. Unincorporated territory. Yeah. Yeah. So, you know, whats that . What is that . Were trying to figure out, sometimes. Seth please welcome back to the show, Anthony Bourdain, everyone. [ cheers and applause ] seth how are you . Good. Seth its always nice to see you. Your show is very unlike there are a lot of travel shows. Theres a lot of shows where people eat food on the road. Yours is very different, because you are not you rarely talk with people who are selling anything. Youre not dealing with tourist agencies. And but it must be difficult to find your way to the places that tour guides dont want to show you. Well, we try really hard to get that right. Weve learned a lot of lessons. Some of them painfully over the years. You know, your local contacts on the ground, you know, they have to know the area. They have to have a sense of humor. They have to know what youre not looking for. You know, were not looking to do top ten best lists or a fair and comprehensive overview. But, you know, some of the places that we go, you have a bad fixer, youre really in trouble. We learn like in sicily, we had a problematic fixer once. And, you know, he promised, im going to take you to the best pizzeria in all of sicily, which, by the way, my brother owns. You know . Seth yeah. [ light laughter ] this is not what were looking for. Seth right, exactly. How quickly do you know you have a dud fixer . Uh pretty quickly. Seth yeah. You know, i think im not going to say which. We went to one country with a new yorker, who claimed to have deep roots in this area. Had spent, you know, many years there, he said. And we showed up with him and all of the locals immediately like, theyre talking to me and saying i could hear them say in spanish, who is this jerk . [ light laughter ] seth you have i dont know if it was the fixers fault. If it was your fault. If this is just a core fault of the governments that are mad at you. You have run afoul of some foreign governments. I have. You know, those [ laughter ] the worstcase scenario is when the government sort of tries to infiltrate your local crew and make things prettier than they are. You know. Seth oh, i see. So, you know, official bodies enter, and, you know, were shooting with a the butcher in rural romania. You know, we like to do typical things with typical people. And we had a local butcher in a rural area of romania set to go with his family. Apparently the government found out. They arrived the night before, unbeknownst to us. Its like, you know, your you know, your house is not attractive enough. We move you to nicer house. Dress your children. You know 8yearold and 9 his 9yearold sister. Dress them in traditional garb. Make them dance for the americans. You know . [ laughter ] so its just this painfully false, awkward making these terrified children dancing. Seth yeah. [ laughter ] like, little, you know, little humble figurines, yeah. Seth i remember that episode. And thinking, i dont know if girls dance at romanian butchers but [ laughter ] do not shoot stray dogs. You know . Do not shoot gypsies. Only shoot, you know, new nice hilton hotel, cadillac. Seth thats great. When you said, do not shoot stray dogs, i thought a different thing. [ laughter ] no, ill be okay. Seth i forgot you have cameras. I forgot you have cameras. I was like, no, i dont know, that seems pretty forwardthinking for the romanian government. [ laughter ] a big scandal. You know, of course, by trying to manipulate reality, you know, it ended up being a very tragically funny show. And i was all over the newspapers in romania as a kgb agent. Mossad agent then cia agent. All at the same time but apparently seth so probably not going back. [ light laughter ] never say never. Seth yeah, exactly. [ laughter ] if youre a mossad agent, youll find your way back in. So um [ light laughter ] you so i also want to ask you went to puerto rico. Yes. Seth and you went before the hurricane. Yes. Seth but you had a sense of the trouble they were in even before this natural disaster. They were already in a look, this is a beautiful place. You know, puerto rican culture was so much of, you know, new york culture, american culture, when i grew up. If you heard Spanish Language in new york, it was a chance it was puerto rican. And yet they were stuck and still are stuck, even before the hurricane, in this bizarre financial limbo, where they found themselves so hideously in debt to these predatory hedge funds and foreign banks that they are now administered by a tiny, unelected group of people appointed by hedge funds and banks. Who are free to say, you know, were taking the money from this school, that pension fund. You dont really need that public transportation, those hospitals close. Because theyre entitled by law to take whatever money they want in whatever way they want. And, you know, they get paid first before anybody else. So its this they cant vote for president. They really have no power over their own destiny. And its and this was before this terrible event. Seth its a its wonderful to even see get a sense of it. Because i feel like, unfortunately, we tune into a story like that after a hurricane and then we dont really understand that these problems were deeply seeded, and the the hurricane only magnified what was a real problem. If nothing else, you know, i think what im proud of this show, because it shows when something terrible happens to a place, you know, this is who were talking about. Seth yeah. These are the people that its happening to. Seth the New York Times reported your friend Chef Jose Andres hero seth he served more people he went down to puerto rico, he served more people than any aide agency. Jose andres, a chef from washington, d. C. Notable for being sued by donald trump. Seth yeah. [ laughter ] among his other many great accomplishments. [ laughter ] seth yeah. Right. [ cheers and applause ] went down to puerto rico, and without any funding, nothing, just he went first and just said, im going to start feeding people, as many people as i can. And working with world central kitchen, a group who he has been heavily involved with for a long time in haiti and elsewhere. Hes fed almost i think almost 3 million people. Seth yeah. Far more hot meals than fema was able to provide. The Salvation Army at one point were asking him for food. Its a testament to what individual people can do, what chefs can do. And as always, hes an inspiration. Seth you