And featuring the legendary roots crew. Questlove 794 steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh, my goodness. I love you [ cheers and applause ] i love you i feel the love. I give it right back to you guys. Welcome, everybody. Welcome, welcome, welcome to the tonight show. This is it. The tonight show, baby. [ cheers and applause ] well, heres what people talking about. President trump had a very good day. Hes very proud. Republicans finally passed his tax bill, which means trumps about to sign his first major piece of legislation. Yep, his chest was puffed out so far his tie was actually at normal length. [ laughter and applause ] wow, thats at my waist. Amazing. Look down there i can hold water i can drink water with one hand. I dont feel like tweeting, im a new man. [ light laughter ] trump was very happy. He said, we are now pouring rocket fuel into the engine of our economy. If youve ever poured rocket fuel into a regular engine, you know, it ruins the engine, but still [ laughter and applause ] theres been a lot of criticism. I read that only 24 of americans think the gop tax plan is good. To put that in perspective, the spice girls movie got a 29 on rotten tomatoes. [ laughter and applause ] i loved it. Steve i loved it. Jimmy House Minority leader nancy pelosi said that the tax plan is an all out looting of america and a whole sale robbery of the middle class. Which incidentally is also the slogan for whole foods. Steve really . Jimmy yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. [ laughter and applause ] its organic applesauce steve 17 . Jimmy it knows three languages. [ laughter ] id pay 30 bucks for that. University of pennsylvania, which is trumps alma mater, says the tax bill will add 2. 2 trillion to the national debt. Trump was like, come on, are you really going to believe a a school that let me graduate . Give me a break, come on. [ laughter and applause ] now all of a sudden and people are still talking about this pentagon ufo program. And Sarah Huckabee sanders said that shed have to check with the president to see if he believes in ufos. [ light laughter ] but she go her answer when she saw trump wearing a tinfoil hat that said make earth great again. [ laughter and applause ] take me to your leader. Walle. Walle. [ light laughter ] check this out. Google says that some of the years most popular how to searches were how to make Solar Eclipse glasses and how to buy bitcoin. They also released a least popular how to searches. These are things that basically no one searched for all year. Theyre pretty interesting. Ill show you what i mean. For example, only three people searched for how to find out if papa john is single. [ laughter ] steve wow. Jimmy only three people. Steve three people. Jimmy only two people searched for how to watch longer ads before youtube videos. [ laughter ] steve oh, wow. [ applause ] jimmy people want to see more before their video. Steve yeah, i want the ad to be longer jimmy and finally, only one person searched for how to extend my uber ride so my driver can finish his life story. [ laughter and applause ] no, keep talking, i want to hear more. You guys, were just five days away from christmas. Thats right, yeah, you can [ cheers and applause ] five days away. But did you see this . Romes official Christmas Tree is being mocked because it lost a lot of its needles. Did you see this photo . This is real. This is from rome. Take a look. Oh, boy, yeah. [ audience aws ] yeah. Even Charlie Brown was like, what the hell is that . [ laughter and applause ] its christmas. And finally i saw that theres now a norad Santa Tracker app, so you can watch santa travel all over the world on your phone. Sounds like a great idea until mrs. Claus sees santas been at the same house for over an hour, but [ laughter and applause ] we were just talking we have a great show tonight. Give it up for the roots, ladies and gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy we have a great show tonight he stars in the new film downsizing. Christoph waltz is here tonight, guys. [ cheers and applause ] steve i love him jimmy hes good. Steve i love Christoph Waltz. Jimmy i like that guy. Plus, shes having a great year. From the new movie lady bird and broadways hello dolly, beanie feldstein is joining us tonight. Steve oh [ cheers and applause ] jimmy beanie steve beanie jimmy also stopping by tonight, her song bodak yellow is the biggest song of the year. And shes got a new single coming out friday. Were talking to cardi b, ladies and gentlemen, tonight. Steve yeah [ cheers and applause ] jimmy and as always we have great music. But man, oh, man, i love this performer. She is fantastic. We have erykah badu on the show tonight. [ cheers and applause ] steve oh jimmy erykah badu, we love her. Guys, we have exactly three shows left before we go on christmas break, which means its time for that beloved tonight show tradition. Its time for 12 days of christmas sweaters. Here we go. 12 days of christmas sweaters three days left [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thats right, every show between now and christmas, well be giving one lucky audience member a hamburger of a christmas sweater [ laughter ] from the countdown to christmas cabinet. Now since there are three shows left [ light laughter ] lets open door number three. [ drum roll ] wow. [ cheers and applause ] ham ham burger that is a great sweater. Look at that, oh. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Thats a lot of fun. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ham hamburger [ cheers and applause ] now lets see whos going home with tonights sweater. Everyone look at your seat number. If i call your number, i need you to jump up and let me know where you are. Quest, can i get a drum roll please . [ drum roll ] who wants me to pick their number . [ cheers and applause ] how you doin, buddy . Everything good . It is if its 317, this show is rigged. If its 317, the show is rigged. [ drum roll ] right, you see that . Questlove i know. Jimmy 220 [ cheers and applause ] oh, right here hey thats what im talking about. How you doing, buddy . Nice to see you. How are you . Jimmy can you hold that for a second . Yeah. Jimmy what is your name . My names mike. Jimmy mike, where you from . Westchester, new york. Jimmy westchester i love westchester [ cheers and applause ] shout out to larchmont, out there. Yeah, yeah. No, its getting very cold, yeah. It is. Jimmy except, yeah especially the last couple of days, it was like 65 degrees at night. [ light laughter ] do you have anything like this at home . I fortunately do not. Jimmy yes, exactly. You unfortunately do not is what you really said. But this is great, its got a a hoodie, its got little pompoms on there. Would you like to try it on, mike . I would love to. Jimmy this is going to be oh, please, ill help you out with it. Thank you. Jimmy this is great. [ audience aws ] [ cheers and applause ] i wanted it to be more oh oh, my, oh look at that look at that look at how cool look at how it looks it looks fantastic. Try the hoodie on. Try the hoodie on, its really good stuff. Yeah this is what im talking about. [ cheers and applause ] you walk around westchester, youre the king of westchester, buddy. Our thanks again to mike, right there. Stick around. Well be right back with tonight show hashtags. Its so subtle. [ cheers and applause ] deck the halls with boughs of holly, fa la la la la la la. Oh when you walk by every night talking sweet and looking fine. Tis the season to be jolly. Fa la la la la. Oohh. Im so into you. What fun it is to ride and sing a sleighing song tonight. Its just a sweet, sweet fantasy bab. Its time for the holidays. Holla back holla hey. Hurry in to old navy for up to 75 off the entire store. Get last minute gifts for just 3, 4, and 5 bucks at old navy. Nfor hollywoods biggest stars. And, with his vintageinspired collection at kay jewelers, he designs them for the star in your life. The inspiration for this ring goes back almost 100 years. Its based on an art deco design. Over 50 diamonds all handset. Thats my philosophy design it to be beautiful. Then make it perfect. Neil lane bridal. At kay. The numberone Jewelry Store for. Yes. Every kiss begins with kay. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy welcome back, everybody. It is time for tonight show hashtags. Here we go. [ cheers and applause ] Hashtags Hashtag jimmy now we do this thing every week where i send out a a hashtag and we ask you guys to respond to that topic. So since your sweater is so not distracting. It is [ laughter ] no, it is it is fantastic. Its like we have an angel in our audience. Its just a beautiful thing. Since the holidays are here, and people are starting to celebrate in all kinds of ways. I sent out an hashtag called my dumb tradition. And i asked you guys to send us your weirdest and silliest holiday traditions. Within 30 minutes, it was a a trending topic in the u. S. So so thank you for playing along. [ cheers and applause ] now i thought id share some of my favorite my dumb tradition stories from you guys. This first one is from hill company. He says, as empty nesters, we sometimes decided not to put up a Christmas Tree and end up just stacking gifts on what the kids now call the christmas treadmill. It was a beautiful thing. Christmas treadmill. Were not using it for anything else. Steve yeah, yeah. Either that or clothes. Jimmy exactly. Thats when i knew when we were in trouble, when my dad bought a treadmill when we were growing up. Thats when you can actually buy a treadmill and have one in your house. Like Montgomery Ward or something. You could i dont even know if Montgomery Ward exists, but you could buy a treadmill and he had the treadmill, and put it in i think its in our living room. We didnt have any other place to put it and he was on the treadmill and in the water holder he had a beer. There you go [ laughter ] thats it right there. Steve america, baby. America. Jimmy going for it, just enjoying himself. Going for a stroll. Just going for a stroll. Steve walking. Jimmy walking Barney Miller, or whatever the heck. [ light laughter ] steve Barney Miller jimmy you know, kid shows, like Barney Miller. Steve yeah, yeah, yeah. Jimmy this ones from kristen rose 124. She says, my entire family hates my aunts husband. Every christmas, after they leave, my mom gives out a fake oscar to whoever did the best job of pretending they like him. [ laughter and applause ] steve oh, thats cold jimmy the oscar goes to you clearly. You had a ten minute conversation. Oh, fantastic. Oh, man. Jimmy this one is from jiggy pants 76. Steve 76 . Oh, okay. Jimmy yeah. Im hoping it was because he was born in not because there was 75 other jiggy pants. [ laughter ] anyways jiggy, jiggy pants. Its not a thing, right . Steve jiggy pants . Jimmy no. Steve i dont know, you can get jiggy with your pants, right . Jimmy like wearing your pants . Steve i guess. Jimmy or jiggy with your pants . [ laughter ] jiggy pants, he says, every year when were all done opening our christmas presents, my mom always says in a a depressing tone, well, thats christmas. [ applause ] this one is from abby elizabeth. She says, one year, our tree star broke, so we made an emergency angel using a picture of my baby sister, some toilet roll tubes and pipe cleaners. Now we put this on top of the tree every year. Look at this. [ audience aws ] steve come on jimmy thats a cute baby. Steve thats cute. Jimmy thats a cute baby. This one is from pa lavelle. He says, we didnt have a a fireplace or a chimney growing up, so at our house, santa came up the toilet. [ laughter ] steve what . What . Yule tide logs. [ audience ohs ] jimmy whats wrong, hunny . I flushed last night. Okay, all right. [ laughter ] you didnt santa will be still coming. This one is from revdmq. He says, each christmas, my brothers and i weigh ourselves before dinner and after dinner to see who won. [ cheers and applause ] steve its all for santa. Jimmy this last one is from jrod cassell. He said, every year, my grandma gives food as gifts, but she refers to them as edibles. So every year, we get some tasty edibles from grandma. [ cheers and applause ] aw, thats sweet. There you have it, those are our tonight show hashtags. To check out more of our favorites, go to tonightshow. Com hashtag. Well be right back with Christoph Waltz, everybody. Come on, back. [ cheers and applause ] listen moms, hot pockets are exactly what a hungry boy wants in a snack. Premium pepperoni. Real cheese. And that buttery garlic crust. Theyre literally stuffed full of deliciousness. Nothing satisfies like 100 real cheese and 10 grams of protein. ding hot pockets got the right gifts under the tree . Oh no, mmmm, but i like socks. Well of course son. Everyone loves socks. They keep your feet warm. But you cant stream nothing on no socks. True. Tmobile gives you two iphone 8s for the price of one. One person gets an awsome gift. And so does the next guy. Youre one wize dude dad. Great things come in twos when you holiday together at tmobile. Now back for a limited time, buy one iphone 8 and get one on us. This holiday, the best gift you can give, is your time. Volunteer at neighbhorhoodofgood. Com. State farm. What do you think . Hey, think ben will like it . Yeah, was i the only one hearing the angelic music . Im serious, i never know what to get him. Just tell me you got him fios too. Sigh. Mrs. Layne, fios is a 100 fiberoptic network. That, plus this sick console, hell be like whaaaaaattt. Your new tech is best on the 100 fiber optic network. So get fios. Now just 79. 99 per month with a 2year price guarantee with a 2year agreement. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy our first guest is a a twotime Academy Award winner starring alongside matt damon in the new film downsizing which opens this friday. Please welcome, the very talented, Christoph Waltz everybody. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy looking sharp. Thank you for coming back. No, thank you for having me. Jimmy no, because i know that i can just yeah, i know. Thank you for having me. Jimmy i know. I want the last word. Jimmy i know you do. But i got to sneak one more word in. Thank you for being here. [ light laughter ] you know because i can tell you, you are in the holiday spirit. You love the holidays. You love christmas. I can tell. You dont have to tell me. I can see by your face. [ light laughter ] i can see by your childish grin. Your little this the child the kid in you is beaming right now. Loving it. Bahhumbug. Jimmy oh, come on, hey. This is ridiculous. Why, why dont you like the holidays . You just dont. Look at fifth avenue. You know millions of [ light laughter ] on their way to the abyss. [ laughter ] jimmy thats not what they say on the way to the abyss going off the cliff. Theyre going and celebrating in the theyre not celebrating anything. Theyre just, you know their doing their Bank Managers a a favor. Jimmy no, everyones happy. Look, guys, arent you happy out there in the audience . [ cheers and applause ] i know what it is. Let me say, that im glad for you. Jimmy yes, i think i know what it is. I think that your maybe youre just not dressing festive enough. I mean, this is beautiful. Thank you. [ light laughter ] jimmy it is beautiful corduroy. And i love that suit. But, how bout Something Like this . [ cheers ] its not as bad as this. [ laughter ] jimmy no, this is a little distracting. You cant even tell hes wearing it. You want to just try it on first thing, to see how it feels . Whats that here, one second. Jimmy yeah, thats a nice little thats little added a a little treat on the end of it. [ cheers and applause ] face me face me and then turn and make yeah. Look at this. This is like mr. Rogers neighborhood. [ light laughter ] this is fantastic. Youre going to really i can just feel that youre going to enjoy yourself. Turn, look at this. Turn. [ cheers and applause ] wow look at that you feel good, right . Look it, you feel good, doesnt he look great . [ cheers and applause ] Christoph Waltz thats how ya that looks fantastic. Its sharp. Lets button it up at least. Jimmy yeah, i like the tie. Its a little extra, a a little and its fun. Yeah, you know how to do it. Youre a stud. Jimmy when you get this role downsizing, fantastic cast. Kristen wiig, matt damon. Yeah. Jimmy fantastic director. I have a crush on kristen wig. Jimmy yeah, i think we all do. Everyone has a crush on kristen. [ cheers ] shes fantastic. Oh, shes lovely. Jimmy she is the greatest. Shes lovely. Jimmy shes so bubbly and fun and just so smart. But the director who is alexander payne. Jimmy wow, wow, wow wewa. This guy is the real deal. Well yeah. He was so real he didnt want me for the part. [ light laughter ] jimmy did he not . No, he didnt. I talked him into it. Jimmy thats what good actors do. Yeah. Well, yeah. And it was an uphill battle because he wanted someone young and flashy. [ clears throat ] jimmy hello you shouldve wore this sweater and you wouldve [ cheers ] i wouldve. Actually it could be it could be the character sweater. Jimmy it could yeah. Gaudy, serbian guy. Jimmy the idea of the character the idea of the movie is you can actually shrink yourself to about five inches tall and to have a a better life. But once you do that, you can never grow back to normal size. Yeah. Jimmy so make the choice. Well, i know what i would do. Stay big. [ light laughter ] jimmy you would stay big. Yes. Absolutely stay big. Yeah, absolutely. You know, walking on the streets with all the dogs and rats and you dont want to be this tall. Jimmy no. I mean, but its like a a saltine crackers like this big. So its kind of its kind of fun. When you see it, and they did a a great job with the film. Its fun to watch. Jimmy its fun to watch, yeah. And you played the neighbor who is just ridiculous. I mean in the best way. Yeah. Its let me say that in all seriousness. Its a lovely movie. Its a lovely movie. And i dont say that ever about a movie. Jimmy yeah. And its its fun. Its wonderful to watch. And you take something home to think about. And thats more than you can say for most of the others. Jimmy okay, yeah. Well thats i feel that way about you. [ light laughter ] not anymore. Jimmy no. You always give me something to think about. Thats the something to think about. I want to show a clip. Here is Christoph Waltz and matt damon in downsizing. Take a look here. Yes, the world is filled with things to see. You know, i dont know you, paul. But, i like you. I like you very much. And my is get out of this disgusting little apartment and open your eyes. Dont be so american. Youre a nice guy, paul. Youre a little bit pathetic. Last night you danced. You laughed.