Transcripts For WCAU The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

Transcripts For WCAU The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon 20171025

And featuring the legendary roots crew. Questlove 760, cali steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh, my goodness. I feel the love. Thank you very much. Welcome, welcome. Welcome to the tonight show. Thank you for being here. Thank you for watching. [ cheers and applause ] welcome. We have a great show tonight, ricky, linmanuel its going to be fantastic. [ cheers and applause ] first we get to some jokes right here. Everybody is talking about this, this feud between President Trump and republican senator bob corker. Theyre fighting again, these guys. [ light laughter ] yeah, today corker said that trump is a bad role model for children. And trump said, not true. [ laughter ] ive even proven that a child can be elected president. [ cheers and applause ] so thats pretty inspirational. But corker also tweeted about trumps behavior and said, alert the daycare staff. [ laughter ] trump was so mad, he squeezed his juice box and it went all over his tie. Hes like oh. [ laughter and applause ] go to the cubby and get me another one. You know what they say at the white house, if you dont have anything nice to say, just tweet it. [ laughter and applause ] of course, trump was quick to respond to corker. He said that corker couldnt even be elected dogcatcher. [ audience ohs ] then another guy said, great, now i have to rig dogcatcher election, too. I mean, it never ends with these guys. Ha ha. Yeah, yeah. [ applause ] well this is big, republican senator jeff flake announced that he will not seek reelection, said the gop was headed in the wrong direction. Or as trump calls it, flake news. [ laughter ] flake news. [ laughter and applause ] this week the house will vote on the big republican budget resolution when lawmakers on both sides of the aisle have been speaking about it. Take a look at what theyre saying, first republican dave brat said whoever doesnt vote for this resolution is a a real, well, my last name. [ laughter ] then democrat dennis heck said whoever does vote for this resolution can go straight to well, my last name. [ laughter ] then republican dan newhouse is like, with this many tax cuts, ill be able to afford a well, my last name. [ laughter and applause ] then democrat tim walls was like, i dont care about the budget as long as trump doesnt build any well, my last name. [ light laughter ] and finally republican Rodney Frelinghuysen said [ laughter ] if congress doesnt pass his budget, thatll be a real kick in the frelinghuysen. Frelinghuysen. [ applause ] mr. Frelinghuysen. [ light laughter ] i was talking about the mr. Frelinghuysen. Steve thats for the kids. Jimmy i would have brought your pills here today, mr. Frelinghuysen. [ light laughter ] steve miss perty. Jimmy a little Business News here. I saw that delta is hiring 1,000 new flight attendants, and its a very tough tryout. When pushing the beverage cart, you have to slam into at least 12 passengers knees. [ laughter ] ooh, sorry about that. Oh, sorry about that. Oh, sorry about that. Frelinghuysen im trying to get to the bathroom and [ laughter ] if i could just review and move when i would know never. Meanwhile, i read about a woman in pennsylvania who celebrated her 94th birthday by jumping out of a plane. [ audience ohs ] she thought she was just walking into a bathroom, but still. [ laughter ] i mean, good good for her to just experience that, over 500 likes on youtube. [ applause ] did you guys see lady gagas new wax figure . Did you hear about this . Her fans are very upset. cause theres a new wax figure in peru, they say it does not look anything like her. You be the judge. [ audience oohs ] oh, boy. [ laughter ] gaga was like, i wasnt born that way. [ laughter and applause ] who is that . And finally, this is going viral. I saw that a couple got engaged at a cincinnati zoo, and were photobombed by the zoos baby hippo, fiona. Take a look at how cute this is. Look at [ audience aws ] yeah, fiona was like, always a a bridesmaid. All right, you know. [ laughter ] we have a great show tonight. Give it up for the roots, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy hello. Hello. How are you, mr. Frelinghuysen . Steve sid, freeling. Jimmy freling. Steve now say huysen. Jimmy huysen. Steve put them together. Jimmy frelinghuysen. Steve no. [ light laughter ] jimmy guys, welcome to the show tonight. A hot show tonight. Man, what a great, great show. [ cheers and applause ] so fun. Were in a great mood here at the tonight show, because we did this thing a couple weeks ago. We teamed up with walmart. We wanted to do something for puerto rico. And so we teamed up with walmart, and they were awesome. And we donated 1 million to relief [ cheers and applause ] it just feels good and its the right thing, it just felt right. And walmart upped their game, and they said, well, you know tell you what, if you go on walmart. Com or the walmart app, or Something Like that. If you donate anyone donates 1 theyre going to match it for another million dollars, up to through the end of october. We did it in a week. So [ cheers and applause ] thanks thanks to you and walmart and everyone here at the tonight show, that set this all up, we donated 2. 5 million, so thank you guys for donating. [ cheers and applause ] thank you for donating thank you for doing that. Its just its a great thing. We have a fantastic show tonight. We love this guy. He is so incredibly funny, very talented. Ricky gervais is here, you guys. [ cheers and applause ] hes just the greatest. Were gonna catch up with him, and ricky and i are going to compete in a fun game called the faceit challenge. Steve ooh. Jimmy plus, he is oscar nominated for the soundtrack to moana. [ cheers and applause ] he created the broadway hit in the heights. Steve yeah [ cheers and applause ] jimmy and of course hamilton. [ cheers and applause ] tonight, he is joining us to talk about his relief effort for puerto rico. The one and only, Linmanuel Miranda is stopping by tonight. [ cheers and applause ] and we have great music from sabrina carpenter. [ cheers and applause ] this is a good jam. Hey guys, i always say our show is very lucky to have the greatest band in late night. The roots are right there. [ cheers and applause ] but but it isnt always fun and games. From time to time we put the roots to the test. We pick people from our audience, random people, and have the roots makeup songs about them on the spot. It is time for freestylin with the roots. Here we go. Freestylin with the roots [ cheers and applause ] jimmy hot tough crowd tonight. Roots, are you ready to do this . [ cheers and applause ] all right. Raise your hand raise your hand if you want the roots to write something about you. Right here. You feel it. Right there, okay good. Oh, my god. Jimmy good seeing ya. All right, here you go. Okay. Oh, my gosh. Jimmy all right, okay. All right, good. All right, you can have a seat dude. This is gonna be have a seat. Jimmy all right, what what is your name . Deanna. Jimmy deanna, okay good. Deanna, where are you from . New hampshire, but i live in new york now. [ laughter ] jimmy so youre from New Hampshire. Yep. Jimmy but you live in new york now. Yep. Jimmy i love New Hampshire. Where in New Hampshire . Its near its hampstead. Jimmy oh, i know hampstead. Oh, you do . Jimmy sure. Oh, its nice right . Jimmy yeah. [ light laughter ] its nice, its nice. Jimmy deanna, it is fall here in new york, and now youre hear in new york. You were in New Hampshire, where its beautiful in the fall, but here in new york wow. I love fall. Jimmy yeah, me too. My favorite season. Jimmy yeah, i knew that. [ light laughter ] cause i can feel this. But what is your favorite part of fall . Im like not jimmy what is your favorite thing to do . Um i like jimmy just her friends, not you guys. [ light laughter ] im going to say i love the weather, i love the clothes. Jimmy you do . Like velvet, like jimmy velvet, of course. Everyone wears velvet. [ laughter ] the fall is velvet, of course. Thats the first thing, not thick sweaters or any of that stuff. No, fall, i go velvet. Yeah. [ laughter ] no and it looks beautiful, by the way. Thank you. Jimmy yeah, id say fall fashion then. Yes, fall fashion. Jimmy and going outside. Guys, we have our pal deanna here from New Hampshire, but now she lives in new york, and its a long story, i dont want to get into it. [ light laughter ] but her favorite thing to do in the fall is the fashion. Come on, youve got the velvet. [ light laughter ] youve got to youve got the velvet. Thats what you do in the fall. So for this first song, since halloween is coming up, can you guys do maybe like a a a monster mash kind of song, like a some Boris Pickett type of well my friend named deanna was visiting from out of town she came from hampstead New Hampshire but shes here in new york now pal deanna with the spirit of autumn sun into you you wear fall fashion wearing velvet is your favorite thing to do you do the slomp you do the velvet flop you know she could not stop she wore the velvet top [ cheers and applause ] jimmy all right, lets see. Who else . Who else . You do . Youre feeling it . All right, here we go. Okay. Jimmy are you feeling this one . Im feeling this. Jimmy all right, good. Here you go. Hold this. Okay. Jimmy im sorry, im reaching over. I apologize. What is your name . Alyssa. Jimmy okay, alyssa, very good. Alyssa. Now i said halloween is coming up, what is your favorite halloween candy . Kit kats. Jimmy no hesitation. [ light laughter ] no hesitation, i know this. Jimmy no hesitation. I got this. Jimmy kit kats. Really . Thats your jam . Yeah. Jimmy theyre so very simple. Theyre so good. Jimmy its just wafer and chocolate. Exactly, bingo. Jimmy give me a break. I love it. All right, what is your least favorite halloween candy . Oh, thats hard. I dont know. Oh, yeah, raisinettes or Something Like that. Candy corn, actually. Jimmy yeah, totally i agree. I can see that. Candy corn. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I totally see that. Its like three levels of the same flavor . Yeah. Jimmy no, im im out. Exactly. [ light laughter ] jimmy guys, we have our pal alyssa here, her favorite halloween candy is kit kat, immediately. Give me a break. And then her least favorite halloween candy, candy corn. The whole, candys in the name. The whole thing corns in the name. Its just a thing, it doesnt work. I totally got your back. For this one, Bruce Springsteen is on broadway right now. [ cheers and applause ] there we go. Jimmy recently opened right here in new york city. We love Bruce Springsteen here. So can you guys do like a fun Bruce Springsteenstyle song . Come on. [ light laughter ] my friend alyssa is here she never felt a kiss more sweet kit kats on halloween her favorite thing to trick or treat her least favorite thing was the candy candy corn she said get that stuff away from me are you out of your mind dont try to feed me any candy corn oh yeah [ cheers and applause ] jimmy all right. Thank you very, very much. Ill just cut through here, do you mind . Ill just cut through how are you doing buddy . Nice to see ya. Tall, very tall man. Yeah, hey, how are you . Nice to see ya. How are you doing buddy . Nice seeing you guys. Hey how are you doing guys . Good to see ya. Whats up, dude. How are ya. [ cheers and applause ] nice to see you pal. How are you doing . Hey, buddy. Thank you. Hello, thank for you being here. How are you . Now im here. [ cheers and applause ] this is where i wanted to be. This side of the room. Hello. [ cheers and applause ] oh, my goodness. Hey buddy, how are you doing . [ applause ] whats that . Oh, yeah, youve got some roots shirts right there. Would you like to do this . Can he do it . Jimmy no, you can do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. [ light laughter ] very, very good. Here, take this. Okay, thank you. Jimmy what is your name . Olivia. Okay, olivia. Olivia, beautiful name. Thank you. Jimmy now, Linmanuel Miranda is on the show tonight, he recently wrote a song for puerto rico called almost like praying. Hes raised millions of dollars for Hurricane Relief efforts. [ cheers and applause ] i love the dude, hes unbelievable. Hes the creator of in the heights and hamilton. If there was a Broadway Musical about your life, what would it be called . Uh, the sassy life. Jimmy the sassy life . Yes. [ light laughter ] jimmy i love it. I love the sassy life. I think its great. The sassy life. Youre very sassy. Oh, i love it. And what actor would you pick to play the part of you . Oh, can i have a singer, instead of an actor . Jimmy yeah, of course. Adele. Jimmy really . Yes. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy i would love to see adele as olivia in the sassy life on broadway. That would be fun. Here to help freestyle this last one is the creator of in the heights and hamilton Linmanuel Miranda. [ cheers and applause ] get sassy. Jimmy sassy sassy, right there he is. [ cheers and applause ] thank you for being here, lin. Thank you for being here. Hi, jimmy. Jimmy we love you, man. Love you. Jimmy lin, this is olivia right here. Hi olivia. Hi. Jimmy and her broadway show would be the sassy life. Oh, it sings. It sings, jimmy, it sings. [ laughter ] jimmy and she she would love to be played by adele. Oh, fantastic. Jimmy yeah, all right. So now, because we have linmanuel here, can you guys do it, the roots, can you do it in like a hamilton style song . [ laughter ] lin, do you mind . Okay, yeah. How does a sweet super sweet sweeter than sweet and low and stevia grow up to be a sassy gal olivia oh yeah ive loved her ever since she showed up like adele wearing those floral prints [ cheers and applause ] everyone will want her to be their wife but she showed up too sassy to be your sassy wife i live that sassy life i live that sassy life oh yeah the price is steep as shes rollin in the deep its Olivia Olivia Olivia Olivia jimmy my thanks to Linmanuel Miranda and thank you to the roots. Well be right back with ricky gervais. [ cheers and applause ] [ america by simon and garfunkel ] can i cross it off yet . Almost. And. Now. The volkswagen atlas. With available digital cockpit. Lifes as big as you make it. Want in on the secret take the olay 28 day challenge. Millions of real women see results starting day 1. There is not a friend i have, that will not own this product visible results or your money back olay. Ageless. Whoo testis this thing on . huh . Cmon your turn mmmm. Where do pencils go on vacation . loud speaker pencilvania pencilvania laughing frosted just right. Crunch in every bite. Kelloggs frosted miniwheats. The volkswagen atlas. With available pedestrian monitoring. Lifes as big as you make it. That one. This. That one. [cheers and applause ] jimmy our first guest is an emmy and golden globe winning actor and writer. Hes currently in the midst of his wildly successful standup comedy tour called humanity word tour. Hell perform tomorrow night at the theater at Madison Square garden, right here in new york city. Please welcome the hilarious ricky gervais, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy ricky gervais, oh my goodness. Ricky, whats up . We love having you here. Welcome back. Oh, lovely to be here. Jimmy you have a million things happening. You have movies. You have tv things. Stand up things. But you also have now another radio show. Yeah. Jimmy on siriusxm. Started today. Im just doing a a few series a year on sirius. Just me jimmy its called . Ricky gervaiss deadly serious. Jimmy yeah, yeah. Its just perfect for me. Its just fun. Its just pure fun. Jimmy and hows the standup comedy tour . This is like crushing it. My favorite. Its my favorite. Jimmy youre going around the world . This is nice. I saw you did a show in copenhagen . I dont know if you remember doing that. My new favorite place in the world. Jimmy it really is . Of course. So liberal and its just great. Its brilliant. Jimmy i saw this photo you posted, and i go, oh, when in copenhagen. Oh, yeah. Jimmy and this is the photo i saw. Yeah. What i do [ laughter ] jimmy is everything okay . I mean is everything . I know. Yes. I like i like taking bath pics. Yeah. Jimmy bathtub pictures . [ laughter ] i have seen these, yeah. And so i started i started doing a sort of relevant bath pic wherever i was. Like in scotland, i have a a little ginger hair and a a little kilt on. And then in canada, i have a a moose outfit. Jimmy oh, yeah. And then in iceland, i was a a viking. But that was because jimmy but this one. Yeah. Jimmy but how do you even get a costume like this . Wow. I planned it, right . [ laughter ] so so me and my girlfriend went to a sort of a fancy dress shop, right . To get that. Jimmy yeah. And i was too embarrassed to ask, in case he recognized me. So i sent jane up, right . And she said, have you got a a mermaid outfit . And the bloke said, is it for you . Right . And she went, yes. Right . [ laughter ] and then she thought, oh no. Yeah, not for me exactly, but an adult bigger than me, right . [ laughter ] and the bloke went, okay. And she was looking and she goes, yeah, that one is fine. I got the wig and picked out. And then he went and she bought it, right . And he went to her, someone is going to have a good weekend. [ laughter ] jimmy and it wasnt true . No, no, this happened. This is what came out of it. Yeah. I want to talk here more about your standup tour. Is this your Jerry Seinfeld told you to do more standup . Jerry seinfeld cant he doesnt understand why me and chris rock do other things when we can do standup. He doesnt understand why we do movies. And i sort of i agree now, because standup was always like the second or third thing i did. I always thought i was a writer or director or actor and now on this tour, its my favorite thing i do. Now it comes first. I cant wait to do another tour. So, yeah. Jimmy really . Yeah, i think jimmy why do you love it so much . I dont know. I think i think ive reached the ive got old peoples rights, so i can say what i want now. [ laughter ] jimmy old peoples rights. Its just such a privilege. You know, the people coming out. I have so much to say, and ive dont and also and i called it humanity, because i thought its time i let the world know what an awful species we were. So [ laughter ] jimmy wait, you dont like humanity . Its basically no, its basically me whinging about the world from the most privileged position imaginable. [ laughter ] i think i think no, but i think people think i

© 2025 Vimarsana