Transcripts For WCAU Late Night With Seth Meyers 20170915 :

Transcripts For WCAU Late Night With Seth Meyers 20170915

Really want to throw out good, educated and accomplished young people. Then he tweeted, the wall will continue to be built. [ light laughter ] man, the last time somebody changed positions that much on twitter, ted cruz liked it. [ laughter ] [ applause ] senator ted cruz yesterday responded to the reaction. To his twitter account liking a pornographic tweet and said that people ought to be able to do what they want in their own bedrooms anymore. Although after hearing about ted cruz watching porn, nobody feels like doing anything in their bedrooms. [ laughter and applause ] honey, no, i im still thinking about the ted cruz thing, i [ light laughter ] President Trump tweeted this morning that Hillary Clinton lost the election because she had no game. And if theres one person who knows about having game, its this jock. [ laughter ] and then i want to keep the tie on and then just chuck it into the sky. [ light laughter ] President Trump attacked Hillary Clinton this morning tweeting quote crooked Hillary Clinton blames everybody and everything but herself for her election loss. She lost the debates and lost her direction. In her defense its easy to lose your direction when youre being chased by a lunatic. [ light laughter ] in an interview with cnn yesterday, Hillary Clinton said that the Electoral College needs to be eliminated. Same with regular college said betsy devos. [ laughter and applause ] all you need is kinderbarten. Halimah yacob was sworn in as singapores first female president today. This news was first reported by an unruly bar patron who was asked to leave. [ light laughter ] so now, singapores got one, everybody. So thats cool. Congratulations, singapore. [ light laughter ] a company in california will unveal the worlds First Talking sex robot in january. Because thats what people who buy sex robots want, followup questions. [ light laughter ] why dont you have a girlfriend . Why dont you have a human girlfriend . [ laughter ] a hotel in california is offering an exclusive nightly package called doughnut disturb. Which includes a huge 10 pound pink doughnut delivered to the room. And afterwards you can take advantage of their free shuttle service. [ light laughter ] and finally a new york city bakery is selling cookies that resemble celebrities faces with flavors that include sad drake, happy beyonce, and i dont remember signing off on this, horny seth meyers. [ laughter ] its accurate, though. Its very accurate. [ applause ] you guys are here on a fantastic night. We have great guests for you. Shes starring in an incredible new psychological thriller, mother Jennifer Lawrence is back on the show. [ cheers and applause ] one of our absolute favorites here on late night. Here to chat about the third season of outlander, on starz, Caitriona Balfe joins us. [ cheers and applause ] so happy to have her back. And hes a very smart guy. Hes also the founder and editor and chief of vox, ezra klein will be joining us to talk about everything thats going on in the world. Before we get to all of that. President trump is making a renewed push to get democrats on board with his agenda. And today, there was some confusion over whether he and Democratic Leaders were close to an agreement on protecting the daca program that allows undocumented immigrants to remain in the country. For more on this, its time for a closer look. [ cheers and applause ] seth after repeatedly failing through the first eight months of his presidency to pass any major legislation, trump has been making a renewed push to Court Democrats to support his domestic agenda. On tuesday he hosted a group of Democratic Senators at the white house for dinner. Including West Virginia senator joe manchin who seemed as impressed with trumps presentation as he was with the food. Senator, i hate to pry i really do. I hate to pry, but did you have one scoop or two scoops of ice cream . No no. We had let me tell you the ice cream was so perfectly prepared. The ice cream came beside the dessert gal and it looked like an egg. And i says, i wonder why im getting an egg with my dessert . And i cut into it and it was a beautifully sculpted ice cream. Seth oh my god. We are so screwed. [ laughter ] thats a United States senator talking about ice cream like hes a hobo. [ light laughter ] it looked like an egg, but then it turned out it was ice cream. So i guess that means that somewhere in the white house there is a giant ice cream goose laying eggs. [ laughter ] what a country this is we live in. Immediately Democratic Senators comes after trump stunned republicans by striking a deal with Democratic Leaders nancy pelosi and Chuck Schumer to keep the government open for three months and provide aid to hurricane victims. And last night trump met yet again with schumer and pelosi about the daca program. Trump ended the program but hoped to use it as leverage to get funding for his border wall. In fact yesterday at the white house he met with members of congress from both parties and made clear that he wanted to discuss daca. And well probably also be talking about daca because we dont want to forget daca. [ light laughter ] seth why does he say things like that . We dont want to forgot daca [ laughter ] immigrants will help us, maga or else theyll go to china [ light laughter ] and after their meeting last night, schumer and pelosi issued a statement basically claiming total victory. We had a very productive meeting at the white house with the president. We agreed to enshrine the protections of daca into law quickly. And to work out a package of Border Security excluding the wall thats expectable to both sides. So trump initially promised that mexico would pay for the wall. Then he said congress would pay for the wall. Then he said he would trade daca to pay for the wall and now hes trading daca and no one is paying for the wall. [ light laughter ] he might be the worst negotiator since daffey duck. [ light laughter ] duck season. Wabbit season wabbit season duck season, fire [ gunshot ] [ light laughter ] seth no one of the joys of this whole episode has been watching the president staunch his supporters, people who defended him through all of his most egregious transgressions freak out about his reversal on daca. Take iowa congressman steve king who tweeted last night when the Associated Press first reported the deal. If ap is correct, trump base is blown up, destroyed, irreparable, and disillusioned beyond repair, no promises credible. Im sorry, youre just figuring out that trumps promises arent credible now. I cant wait for king to tweet in five years, if end of movie is correct, keyser soze was kevin spacey the whole time. [ light laughter ] today trump responded to criticism of his deal from hard right critics who called it amnesty. Were not talking about amnesty, were talking about were talking about taking care of people people that were brought here people that have done a good job and were not brought here of their own volition. Were not looking at citizenship, were not looking at amnesty. Seth now you might be thinking didnt trump specifically accuse president obama of giving undocumented immigrants amnesty when he signed daca . But technically he never used the word amnesty. In fact, trump didnt use a real word at all. He defied federal law and constitution to give amnity to approximately 5 million illegal immigrants. [ laughter ] seth thats right, amnity. [ light laughter ] he probably still doesnt know what amnesty is. Ill make a deal, but i promise no amnity during the campaign. Okay, but what about amnesty . Deal, now bring out the ice cream goose. [ light laughter ] in fact [ applause ] its been amazing to watch trump furiously back pedal on the one thing he promised his supporters from day one, the central promise of his campaign, the border wall. Today, he tweeted the wall, which was already under construction in the form of new renovation of old and existing fences and walls will continue to be built. And then today when asked if he would insist on funding for the wall as part of a daca deal he waffled. The wall will come later. Were right now renovating large sections of wall. Massive sections making it brand new. Were doing a lot of renovations and the wall is going to be built, itll be funded a little bit later. Seth amazing. So the big beautiful wall that would be paid for by mexico and begin construction on day one is now old existing fence that will be paid for later. [ light laughter ] because we all remember those famous chants from trump rallies. What do we want . To renovate old and existing fences. And when do we want it . A little bit later than now [ light laughter ] [ applause ] so trump cut one deal with democrats to keep the government open for a few months and then had a few of them over for dinner and now all of a sudden talking heads are engaging in yet another round of absurd punditry over whether trump is a republican or whether he is the independentminded deal making president he built himself as during the campaign. Youve got the president whose more of an independent. Mr. Trump has shown in the nearly eight months in office that he is in many ways the First Independent to hold the presidency. This radical centrism that were seeing the president exhibit right now. I think there is at least a 30 chance that if mr. Trump runs again, he would run as an independent. Donald trump has no interest in being part of any party. He is a party of one. He is in fact a party of one. Seth thats right. Donald trump is a party of one. Although, usually you hear that phrase associated with eric trump. Eric, party of one. [ light laughter ] [ applause ] can we please can we all please let go of this idea that trump is some kind of maverick independent whos above his party alliance. Being an independent isnt the same thing as being a rudderless narcissist. And in every political sense that matters hes a republican. Just take his renewed attempt to once again revive the gops failed plan to repeal obamacare. Yesterday, a small group of republican senators unveiled yet another bill that would repeal obamacare and drastically overhaul medicare. Oh my god, again, republicans . This isnt something you hear very often but, play something from the new album. [ light laughter ] so democrats now have to decide whether they want to go along with trumps scam or chart their own path. And many are choosing the latter approach. Senator Bernie Sanders for example has gotten some democratic support for the medicare for all single payer Healthcare Plan he unveiled yesterday. And while medicare for all used to be a fringe idea, even within the democratic party. Its now very quickly gaining steam with some of the parties most prominent faces. Two weeks ago, Bernie Sanders had exactly zero cosponsors in the senate for his single payer healthcare bill medicare for all. And then california senator Kamala Harris announced that she would cosponsor the bill. So then Elizabeth Warren came on board. Yesterday another potential president ial candidate became a cosponser, senator cory booker and then today, senator Kristen Gillibrand became a cosponsor. Senator al franken became a cosponsor of medicare for all. Any one of those senators could be the parties nominee for president or Vice President the next time. Seth democrats are so eager to win over Bernie Sanders supporters, they gonna show show up to primary debates looking like this. [ light laughter ] democrats face a stark choice in the trump era. Trust a president who has repeatedly proven himself to be untrustworthy or resist his agenda and protect the marginalized people they represent. Trump might be courting democrats now but remember, this is a man who not long ago called any attempt at immigration reform, uh, whats the word . Amnity. [ light laughter ] seth this has been a closer look. [ cheers and applause ] well be right back with Jennifer Lawrence, everybody [ cheers and applause ] announcer for more of seths closer looks, be sure to subscribe to late night on youtube. This this this this is my body of proof. Proof of less joint pain and clearer skin. This is my body of proof that i can take on Psoriatic Arthritis with humira. 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Thank you so much for another week [ cheers and applause ] our first guest tonight is an academyaward winning and goldenglobe winning actress you know from movies like Silver Linings playbook and the hunger games trilogy. Her latest film, mother, is in theaters tomorrow. Lets take a look. [ gasping ] [ laughter ] seth please welcome back to the show, Jennifer Lawrence, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back. Hi. Seth as is as is tradition when youre, a glass of wine, cheers. Cheers. Seth always nice to see you. Nice to see you. Seth i [ cheers and applause ] i was worried that you wouldnt want to have a drink tonight because you had your premiere last night. I am morbidly hung over. Seth morbidly hung over . [ light laughter ] now, is this always something do you tend to drink a lot at all your premieres . No seth so . [ laughter ] this is your first time . This is i really never do this. No, well, my entire family was in town. Seth got it. A lot of friends came in town, so and all my friends are alphas. All of them. Seth okay. It was all of us. Seth alphas . Yeah, were just all seth okay, i thought you were saying, alchos, and i was like is that is that short for alcoholics . My best friends are alpacas. So yeah, we were just shouting each other out last night. Seth and is that does that fit with coats the throat. Seth yeah this is a but you obviously, a film premiere, especially a film like this, which has a you know, theres its very artistic. Is it strange to be at an after party where you and your friends are just screaming at each other . Yeah. Seth yeah, okay. Its not not normal, but yeah and it was also an odd choice for me to have my entire family seth cause this is an intense film. Come just for this particular movie. Seth yeah, did you warn them . It was a weird choice. Seth did you warn them what they were going to see . I warned them and anytime i wasnt really wearing a bra a lot cause, you know, im like mother earth and my dad was sitting next to me and every time i just had forgotten about that and every time there would be a shot my dad would go [ gasping ] [ laughter ] seth oh so so the scariest element of this to your family was the outline of my nipple. [ laughter ] my dads been talking all day about how ray donovan was at the premiere. Seth ray donovan was at yeah. Seth was ray so Liev Schreiber yeah, Liev Schreiber was there. Seth yeah. Yeah. Seth okay, was your dad excited about that . I was like m. Night shyamalan is here and he was like, ray donovan . I was like, i cant talk to you about ray donovan anymore. [ laughter ] seth i will say, my dads very excited would be very excited about ray donovan too. Yeah. Seth i think its a very dadfriendly show. I think all dads picture themselves as ray donovan. [ light laughter ] yeah, its like it was like the liam neeson like taken. Seth yeah, exactly. The speech. Seth yeah you know they all did that in a shower. Seth yeah. Every dad. Seth my oh, my god oh, my god, what kind of place you running . [ laughter ] seth thats we have that was disgusting. Seth its not a big deal. We have one mosquito and he has zika, but [ laughter ] its fine. I wouldnt that must have been hard to find. Seth it was, we wanted you to look, but we have a budget, and so we went out and did the work. [ light laughter ] and so, afterwards so your parents, they do they come to premieres often . Not really. I mean, like the whole family it was kind of rare, you know . I mean, theres just always and my brothers again, it was just a weird choice. I had my mom seth your mom seems like the fun one. My mom is a character. Seth i feel like thats something sim

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