And featuring the legendary roots crew. Questlove 697. Steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh, my goodness. Oh, my goodness. Welcome, everybody. Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome to the tonight show. This is it. Come on [ cheers and applause ] oh, my goodness. Welcome, everybody. Thank you so much. Heres what heres what people are talking about. Guys, today is the summer solstice. [ cheers and applause ] which is the longest day of the year. Or as the white house calls that, every day. [ laughter and applause ] oh boy, oh boy. I saw that today, hundreds of people did yoga in times square, to celebrate the first day of summer. [ light laughter ] at least i think thats why times square elmo was lying face down. But i dont [ laughter and applause ] he smelled of hooch. Lets get to some news here, i read that Mitch Mcconnell wants to force a senate vote on health care before july 4th. Yeah, cause if theres one day you want to take away Peoples Health care, its the day when they get drunk and set off fireworks. [ cheers and applause ] fourth of july. Steve wheres my fingers . Jimmy meanwhile yeah. [ light laughter ] meanwhile, congress is still working on its russia investigation, and one senator just referred to trumps former adviser Michael Flynn as, quote, the hole in a doughnut of subpoenas. [ laughter ] and after hearing that analogy, senator tom carper chimed in and said, actually, its more like the sumptuous hazelnut at the center of a Ferrero Rocher of litigation. [ laughter and applause ] and then and then senator gary peters said, no, no, no, hes that mysterious onion ring that somehow landed in the french fry basket of sworn testimony. [ cheers and applause ] and senator ben carson said, guys, guys, hes obviously the last chip thats hard to reach at the bottom of a pringles can of prosecution. [ applause ] and finally, you cant milk the joke out anymore. Steve because finally. This is the last one. Jimmy senator dick durbin said, youre all wrong, hes the nougat inside the chocolate that you take a bite of before saying, ew, i hate nougat, and put it back in the candy sampler of injustice. [ cheers and applause ] its a long walk. Guys, this week, President Trump hosted a group of tech ceos at the white house, but they didnt seem too happy to be there. Take a look at this photo. Look at this. [ laughter ] that looks like the saddest team in the history of family feud. I mean, look at that photo. [ cheers and applause ] oh, boy. Oh, guys, listen to this. This is some some scoop, some gossip. [ audience ohs ] steve hot gos . Jimmy yeah. Yeah. Some hot gos. A Child Development expert has sued disney for stealing her idea for the movie inside out. [ audience oohs ] disney called the suit ridiculous, then announced their next movie about a Child Development expert who sues disney for stealing her idea. [ laughter and applause ] its just a coincidence. Steve just a coinkydink. Jimmy pure coincidence. Guys, check this out. Major League Baseball is having game of thrones night at the ballpark this season. Yeah. [ cheers ] its a night where baseball fans and game of thrones fans will look at each other and say, i have no idea whats going on. I dont have any clue. [ laughter and applause ] and this is everywhere. Mattel just released a new ken doll that has a man bun. Did you see this . Take a look at that. There he is. [ laughter ] mattel said they wanted a doll that both girls and boys, dont want to play with. And so thats thats the guy that [ laughter and applause ] his stache isnt helping either. [ laughter ] meanwhile, the ceo of hasbro says that theyre going to Start Marketing my little pony to boys, to avoid gender stereotypes. Yeah, thats interesting. I think they might have taken things a bit too far though, with this new ad i saw directed to boys. Ah, check this out. Whats up, little dudes . You ready for some toys with tude . Then put down those legos, toss out those videogames, and pony up with my little pony. [ light laughter ] be a man and comb that mane. Thomas the train . Are you insane . Sack up with a sack of oats and get into the testosterzone with your very own princess twilight sparkle. Oh, [ bleep ]. So if youre ready to be a big man, get my little pony, and dont forget friendship is magic. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy guys, we have a great show tonight. Give it up for the roots [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy what a crowd welcome, everybody. Thank you so much. I appreciate it. Thank you, roots, thank you, higgins. Hey, guys, you all know me from my book writing and authoring skills. [ laughter ] my first my first kids picture book was called your babys first word will be dada. Steve yeah. Jimmy yeah. [ cheers and applause ] and if you read it to to your child, it worked. [ light laughter ] but for the most part. Steve most part. Jimmy yeah, dont quote me on that. And but a lot of people ask me, jimmy, wheres wheres the moms book . Wheres the book for moms by you . Thats what we want, a mom book. I said, well, this is to get your babys first word to be dada, thats the whole point of the book. [ light laughter ] and then i realized, though even though i basically forced my second child to say dada, as their first word. Technically it was. Steve technically it was. Jimmy yeah, every other object that mattered in her life was mama. [ light laughter ] so, im proud to announce the second out of two in my picture book collection. Steve wow. Jimmy everything is mama. [ cheers and applause ] steve mama nice jimmy now, the idea the idea of this one the idea of this one is that moms are trying to educate and teach their babies other words, but the babies are obsessed with the word with just mama. Everything mama. [ light laughter ] anyway, you get the idea. Its interesting enough to keep your kids attention and enjoy reading, but short enough that you can get them to sleep and get the hell out of the bedroom. So thats just what it is. Its available. [ cheers and applause ] i know from experience. Its like, lets get to good night moon. Oh, but its available for preorder. Now, go to everythingismama. Com or ask your local bookstore for everything is mama. Steve oh, wow. Jimmy im very excited. [ cheers and applause ] its a big deal. Steve whens it out . Jimmy its a big deal. Steve whens it out . Jimmy no, its just preorder now. This is steve how much is the preorder . Jimmy if you preorder it, normally its probably, i dont know, its probably 24 no, 17. Steve how much is it with the preorder . Jimmy but if you preorder it, its 89. 95. [ laughter ] it comes out october 10th. Steve oh, just in time for mothers day. Jimmy exactly. [ laughter ] steve that is great. Wow, love it. Im going to buy two. Jimmy you know, its too obvious to come out mothers day. Come out three weeks before all hallows eve, halloween. Steve hallows eve, yeah. Jimmy guys, we have a great show tonight. We love this guy. He stars in the Netflix Series the ranch, Ashton Kutcher is here. [ cheers and applause ] hes a good man. Hes a dad. Steve hes my iowa homey. Jimmy hes a dad as well. Steve yep. Jimmy plus, hes one of the best chefs in the world, hes one of the hardest working guys ive ever met in my life, one of the most charitable guys ive ever met in my life. He does i just, i love him so much, mario batali is joining us. [ cheers and applause ] steve yeah jimmy hes the best. Steve hes your birthday buddy. Jimmy he is. We have the same birthday, yeah. Tonight were going to play a a really fun game called secret ingredient. Steve ooh. Jimmy and mario is going to host it, you do not want to miss that. Plus, we have music from liam payne right there [ cheers and applause ] yeah, look at this. Strip that down. Steve strip it. Jimmy strip that down is the name of his hes solo now, and a lot of people note, that hes super this is me without my shirt on. Steve really, oh, that is. [ laughter ] so, weve updated math to make the equations more about stuff modern kids can relate to in a a segment called popular mathematics. Here we go. [ cheers and applause ] popular mathematics mathematics [ laughter ] jimmy out of all the songs, i had the pleasure of hearing the roots play, that is my favorite song. [ laughter ] popular mathematics mathematics [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh, so good. Now, you understand what this is about, higgins . Steve no, i do not. Jimmy all right, well, what we do is lets take a look at our first equation. Steve okay. Jimmy if you take a a dandelion steve yep. Jimmy plus glasses steve i know what those things are. Jimmy it equals steve sure. Jimmy and you add the worst case scenario, you get white castle veggie sliders. Steve oh [ laughter and applause ] wow. Jimmy i guess if i have to. Steve on a dare. Maybe if you lost a bet. Jimmy i guess if i have to, yeah. Some steamed veggies, man. Steve i love em, man. In a burger form. Jimmy yeah, if you if you take jeremie lynch. Steve sure. Jimmy plus a howto book. Steve yes. Jimmy plus cynthia nixon. Steve okay. Jimmy you get linmanuel miranda. [ laughter and applause ] man manuel. Steve manuel. Jimmy manuel. Lin manuel. Steve manuel. Jimmy whatever, give me a a little bit. You know steve you know, just help me out here. Jimmy just help me out. Heres another one. Kevin spacey. Steve sure. Jimmy plus a church pew. Steve yep. Jimmy equals kevin nealon. Get it . [ laughter and applause ] steve oh, kneeling. Jimmy get it . cause kneeling steve kneeling. Guy sat in his own pew. Jimmy finally, if you take ben affleck plus rihanna, it equals benihana. Steve oh [ cheers and applause ] jimmy there you go, thats all we have for popular mathematics. Were playing secret ingredient after the break. Stick around, everybody [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy welcome back, everybody, we are about to play secret ingredient. [ cheers and applause ] joining me for the game, please welcome mario batali [ cheers and applause ] Ashton Kutcher [ cheers and applause ] liam payne [ cheers and applause ] and the newest judge on so you think you can dance, very special guest, vanessa hudgens, ladies and gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] now heres this is very exciting. Heres how it works. Well be each served a gourmet threecourse meal presented by super star chef mario batali, but each entree has been prepared with one unusual secret ingredient and its our job to figure out what that ingredient is. Well write down our guesses and reveal our answers one at a a time. Mario, can you tell us what the first course will be. Well just start with, sir. Jimmy coming in hot. Today here were having herbal shanghai soup dumplings with organic bean curd. There is, however, a secret ingredient. Jimmy oh. It may be delicious. [ laughter ] tell us what you think. Jimmy it may be delicious. Yes. Here we go. All right. Taste, taste, taste. Jimmy should we put this look at you going all china town. Jimmy do we put do we put it in this thing . Thats what i would do. I would dip it. Oh, look at jimmy fallon doing it jersey style. [ laughter ] thats a nice move. Jimmy i didnt know. I havent been to this restaurant. Im sorry. All right, all right, all right. [ laughter ] jimmy all right, here we go. This the soup dump. Im so confused right now. Jimmy no, liam, just eat. Eat eat youre going to beat me. Jimmy do we use this . These are used for theres so many utensils. Jimmy no thats too many. Obviously ashtons the only professional at the table. Jimmy all right, here we go. He ate the whole thing. Come on. Jimmy is it fresh . Hot . Oh, i know ready . Hot. Wait your turn, wait your turn. And now it is time to write down your answers. I have no idea. [ laughter ] just make a wild guess, then. I recommend drinking a big glass of red wine with each of these tastes. I have no idea. Mr. Kutcher, please write down your answer. Please write down a guess. [ laughter ] write down an unfathomable, measurable something. Ew [ laughter ] jimmy i know, i think it is. You might recognize it. Ow imagine a dirty bar in shanghai. Jimmy ew thats disgusting [ cheers and applause ] all right. Do you not have an answer . Is your answer vomit, mr. Kutcher . Jimmy oh, theres also all right, first answer is jimmy theres a big bucket under everyones chair if you cant handle the food. And the first sampler is okay. Mr. Kutcher, your answer is dumpling rice wrap. Wrap . [ buzzer ] jimmy . For the secret ingredient. [ talking over each other ] youre not identifying [ laughter ] not what the food was. [ talking over each other ] around the outside, its like a rice pasta. [ laughter ] the idea is that you recognize the dish and then you tell us what the secret ingredient is. [ laughter ] so one that maybe you didnt expect to be in the dish. Wine. No, duh. Jimmy all right, ready . All right, jimmy, whats your guess . Jimmy pine sol. [ laughter ] [ buzzer ] vanessa . Scope spear mint mouthwash. Jimmy hey [ laughter ] close . [ buzzer ] no. Aw. And liam . Jimmy liam. I just wrote licorice but i didnt even really know how to spell it [ talking over each other ] oh, close. [ buzzer ] none correct. Thats how you spell it. Mr. Fallon, mr fallon, you might recognize this from days in the bar. The secret ingredient today was jagermeister. Aw. Aw. Jimmy i love jagermeister. [ applause ] all right, for your next course. Thats why i had the vomit reflex. You go back in for another one. For your next course, youll be enjoying, ladies and gentlemen, please, a little bit of attention. For your next course, you will be enjoying a pizza bianco with spring vegetables, burrata and pecorino dusted with crushed red chili flakes. That looks really good. It is, right . Available at many of my restaurants for 72 a piece. [ laughter ] jimmy oh, if you preorder it. But can you guess the secret ingredient . Jimmy now theres a secret ingredient in here. So taste it. Oh, i got it. Heres the rule. Jimmy no, i already know that its not barrata. Identify the ingredient you dont recognize. Jimmy some white smear of swiping and then write it down. Jimmy and i still oh, wait, what is that . Shh. [ laughter ] keep it to yourselves. All right, ready . Im not even going to eat it. And now write down your answers, please. Oh, no, what is it . [ laughter ] im going to throw up. There is a spit bucket and a a vomit bucket to both your left and your righthand side. [ laughter ] jimmy no, thats my bucket thats hers. Thats your bucket. Jimmy, whatd you learn in school today . Jimmy sharing. All right, ashton. [ audience ohs ] its not that bad, ladies and gentlemen. Please. Jimmy it is gross. I dont know what its all a secret. All right, ashton, can you write down your guess, please. Okay, okay, okay. I swore it was a nice thing. You wait. Liam enjoyed it. Jimmy you enjoyed it . We have a different concept of whats going on here. Jimmy you enjoyed it . Theres a language barrier. In england, this is a a popular dish, ladies and gentlemen. [ laughter ] all right, mr. Kutcher, can you please show us your guess. Jimmy oh, sorry about that. Am i up . There we go. Jimmy chocolate . [ buzzer ] [ laughter ] mr. Fallon, please. Jimmy marshmallow fluff. Bing [ cheers and applause ] jimmy should i be proud . Vanessa and liam, did you have a guess . I went oreo oreo creme. Jimmy yeah, that counts. Mascarpone . Close, but no. Not close. [ buzzer ] yeah. All right. Jimmy ill take marshmallow fluff. All right to end things [ talking over each other ] im failing so hard right now. Jimmy right, it was sweet and it was, yeah. All right, hold on. Focus. Focus. Back over here, ladies and gentlemen. Back over here. To end things i just want to throw up. Like i real i just dont want to throw up. Please dont throw up on national tv. Its late night. To end things, we have not one but two desserts. In front of you are two things. New york style individual cheesecakes alongside roman gelato with a sliver of buttered pistachio brittle. But can you guess the secret ingredient . Each one is worth 1,000 points. Please start with the new york style individual cheesecakes. And write down your answera. Jimmy i hate creamy things. I hate creamy stuff. This is its not creamy, its hard. One at a time. Oh and then taste the ice cream and write that one down, too. Oh, go ahead, come on. The first ones easy. No challenge. No challenge. What are you . Ashton, whatever youre thinking, its right. Oh, you like this . Oh, jimmy, come along. This is actually intuitive. You know this one. He knows this one. [ cheers and applause ] woohoo now that you made your guess for the new york style cheesecakes, please move on to the roman gelato with the sliver of buttered pistachio brittle. I think im not out of one. Yes. [ audience ews ] i really hope so. What what is it . Is it . [ laughter ] yes. Jimmy no, you have to try it. You have to try a little bit. I got it. I got it. Please write down your answers. All right. So, what did you think the ingredients were . Ashton . Oh. [ laughter ] first, doritos and anchovies. First, wrong, second, correct. [ buzzer ] [ ding ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy . Jimmy . Jimmy yes . First and second. Jimmy im going to say butter and caviar. Wrong and wrong. [ laughter ] [ buzzer ] [ buzzer ] vanessa. Is it corn flakes . And . And jimmy bark . Bark. [ laughter ] [ buzzer ] [ buzzer ] wrong and wrong. Liam. Might be. I said doritos and that nasty. [ laughter ] jimmy that nasty. Does that nasty count . I think that counts, actually. [ ding ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy what was it . The actual answer the actual answers are fritos corn chips in the cheesecake. Oh i knew it was a chip. Close, close, close. I knew it was a chip and i thought it was butter. Anchovies for mr. Kutchers win. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy Ashton Kutcher is the champ tonight [ dings ] [ cheers and applause ] and the winner is i won jimmy our thanks to mario batali, Ashton Kutcher, vanessa hudgens, and liam payne. Well be right back with more of the tonight show. [ cheers and applause ] you need the best equipment. For the best ride. The best fit. And the best nights sleep. The Beautyrest Black hybrid features advanced memory foams for individualized support and a conforming feel. Youll find it exclusively at mattress firm, home of the love your mattress guarantee. If you dont love your mattress, exchange it or get your money back within 120 days. If you dont love your mattress, this dive into the classicbster. 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Jimmy thank you, thank you, thank you. You made me throw up. Jimmy im sorry about that. Dude, you made me throw up by throwing up too. Thats the thing. Its a Chain Reaction thing with the vomiting. Jimmy it is, right . It does that. Jimmy yeah, are you chewing gum now . Are you all right . Are you getting back . Jimmy you know what . I got really phlegmy when i was introducing you because something is floating in there [ laughter ] and its not apparently, that was just cheesecake, but i didnt try the crust. Thats where the corn chip was. Where the corn chip was. Jimmy home is where the heart is. Thats where the corn chip is. Yeah. Thank you for playing that. Hey, welcome to the show. Thanks man. Jimmy lets get into better, more exciting news. You just had a little baby. A baby boy. [ cheers and applause ] im so happy. A baby boy yeah. Yeah. Jimmy so now you have a a baby girl yeah, i invented another human. [ light laughter ] i just keep inventing them. Thats the second one. Thats my second invention. Jimmy keep inventing man. Its amazing. Hes so cool. Hes like hes six months now, so ive had him for a a little bit, right . I havent thrown him out yet. [ light laughter ] and he still, like, its weird because girls advance, apparently, faster than boys. Jimmy oh yeah. I didnt know this, but on research, like early advanced childhood advancement, and my daughters like two and a half and she, like, speaks three languages. Shes got like russian, and spanish, and english. Like she actually understands, and speaks them, and the boy is just like a thuck. [ laughter ] like, hes like just like a a chunky, like ba [ laughter ] like thats what he like does, like ba jimmy so he clucks like a a chicken. And i got your book. I got the dada book for fathers day. Jimmy its a great book. Because i want something other than the ba he sounds like a pterodactyl, and hes not coming around, jim. [ laughter ] jimmy did my book not teach him maybe my book is going th opposite way. Ive only had it a couple of days. Ive only had it since fathers day, and hes not coming around. Jimmy this is unbelievable. Maybe my book doesnt work. I dont know. You have to let me know. Ive got to get the other book though. He already he does say mama. Hes got he says mama, but i cant get dada out of him. Jimmy you cant get dada out of him. No, and wyatt i had her papa at four months. She was like papa, papa, and im like and the boys like ba [ laughter ] jimmy bawking at things. Yeah, i dont know how to help you there. I didnt even care if my kid knew any other word besides dada. I would just point at like bottles and stuff, and hed be like dada. You know, like, i dont care. Thats the book. Jimmy thats the book. Thats the book. Jimmy basically thats the book. Thats all i have. Jimmy its photos of me pointing at stuff. Yeah. I have it. Im going to work on the book. Jimmy i have things i want to talk to you about and it involves the bachelorette, and this is a big deal for me. Oh yeah. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy im a big fan. Im a big fan of the show. I love it. Jimmy right . Its ridiculous. I dont even think its a a guilty pleasure anymore. Ive like moved through that now. Jimmy right . Because its all anybody wants to talk about. Jimmy and i think its there is a psychology. There is some game play to it. Ive met a lot of people, right . Ive met obama, ive met bill gates, and people are like, whats Rachel Lindsey like . [ laughter ] like, thats all they want to know. Jimmy yeah i want to know. Shes the business. Jimmy shes good, right . She the real deal. Jimmy shes gorgeous. Shes beautiful. Jimmy shes smart. Shes smart. She has a job. Jimmy she already has a a job. And shes on bachelorette. Like, yeah, people jimmy thats never happened. It never happens. Jimmy normally theyre an entrepreneur. Or its like some obscure Like Software consultant. [ laughter ] jimmy yeah. Like im in the tech world a a lot. Ive never met a software consultant, but theyre on bachelorette all the time. Jimmy all the time. Yeah, yeah yeah. Theyre always theyre everywhere. Jimmy but she is a real winner, and thats why i think this season is jimmy, she has health insurance. [ cheers and applause ] its like legit. Its like a real thing. I was so excited. I was like, i got to go help her, and then the craziest thing. Okay. Hold on. You see the shirt . You see jimmy oh, its the trophy husband. Yeah. So, i find out so i tell mila, im like, were going to go on a oneonone on the bachelorette, right . Because they go on oneonones, so im like, were going to do our thing, and so i got i knew a buddy of mine was working on the show, and so im getting ready to go, it was like the day before and im driving on the Warner Brothers lot and i see this guy wearing this trophy husband shirt, and im like, i got to have that. [ laughter ] like i have to have it on the show. Jimmy thatd be a great shirt. So i tracked this dude down and i run after him on the lot, and im like, i need to trade shirts with you. And hes looking at me like who the is this . Jimmy yeah, yeah, yeah. And im like, listen, i got to im going on the bachelorette. I need your shirt. Jimmy oh, thatll help. That explains it all. The guys like, never mind. Yeah, go, take it, run. The guys, like, you know, my wife gave me this shirt on our wedding day, and im like, i need the shirt. [ laughter ] jimmy rachel is waiting for me. So i traded him shirts, and he gave me this shirt to wear. I gave it back to him eventually, but it was i mean, it was amazing. Jimmy did you ever get your shirt back . No. No. [ laughter ] jimmy i want to talk about your show, the ranch. Man, oh man. Its fun. Its just a good, fun, funny sitcom. What can i say except youre welcome [ cheers and applause ] jimmy i know it. I think. Yeah, yu have like moana. Jimmy are you singing moana to me . I cant stop singing moana. Its a weird thing. My daughter loves this thing, and im in whole foods walking around, and ill hold the door for someone, theyll walk in im like, what can i say except your welcome . Jimmy isnt that weird. It gets stuck in your head. It gets stuck in your head. You cant lose it. Jimmy speaking of moving stories, the ranch. Yeah. Jimmy lets get into this. All right. Jimmy lets get into this. Ten fresh episodes coming up, streaming on netflix. Yeah. Jimmy why did you go to netflix and what is your love of sitcom, and what were you missing in the sitcom world . All right, so, i i grew up, like, a gigantic fan of the roseanne show. Jimmy of course. For me, that was like. Jimmy legendary. We just had Laurie Metcalf on the show. Unbelievable. I starterd i came off of two and a half men and i was like, what am i going to do next . I realized there was nothing on television that was representing, like, families in the middle of america with, like, conservative values, bluecollar, like, dealing with, like, conglomeration and globalization of business, and agriculture and, like, trying to, like, make it. Just trying to make it where like the best thing of your day is the beer that you have at the end of it. Jimmy yeah. [ cheers and applause ] and i was like i was like, i feel like if i was there and living there now, i would not have a show that was me. So i wanted to make a show that just plugged in, and said, hey, youre not alone, and thats so netflix is a natural partner. They let us do comedy, and they let us do drama, and they let us talk like real people talk, and they let us make our show, and so jimmy its a great cast, and you have great chemistry, obviously with danny. Thank you, and ive got the real mustache man, sam elliott. Jimmy i know. [ cheers and applause ] its like its the god of mustaches. It really is. Jimmy i know, i know, i think about that every day. This things really bugging you too. I can tell by youre like struggling with it. Jimmy i know it will never be his. Youre struggling with it. Jimmy itll never be his. Yeah, people on the street think its fake. [ laughter ] why would i walk around with a a fake mustache . Why would you walk around with a real one . [ cheers and applause ] [ rimshot ] jimmy heres Ashton Kutcher in the ranch. Take a look at this. Hey, good morning. Just cooking a little breakfast for my favorite girl. [ laughter ] you dont cook. Oh, well, these hot cakes, and sausages beg to differ. Oh. Are you doing that thing where you run to mcdonalds, and then pretend to cook for me . [ laughter ] no. [ laughter ] what if i check the garbage . Oh, please dont do that. Jimmy Ashton Kutcher, everybody [ cheers and applause ] ten new episodes of the ranch are streaming now on netflix. The ranch. Well be right back with mario batali. Stick around, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ball park franks got their start in 1957 right here in the ballpark. They soon became a summer tradition, passed from one generation to the next. With the taste of 100 angus beef, ball park franks bring on summer. With pantene 3 minute miracle daily conditioner. S. A super concentrated prov formula makes hair stronger in just 3 minutes. So its smoother every day. Because strong is beautiful. When you switch to progressive. Winds stirring. Too treacherous for a selfie. [ camera shutter clicks ] sure, ive taken discounts to new heights with safe driver and paperless billing. But the prize at the top is worth every last breath. Here we go. [ grunts ] got em. Ahh. Wait a minute. Whole wheat waffles . [ crying ] why wait a minute. Whole wheat waffles . Come on. Scuse me. Mind if i sit here . Not if you want your phone to work. Let me guess, you cant livestream your lobster roll. And my mobile pay isnt connecting and i just got an unlimited plan. Right plan, wrong network. You see verizon is americas largest most reliable 4g lte network and now unlimited plans start at 40 per line, you know what i am saying . laughs. oh this is your seat. Definitely. Yep. Just tucking it in. Nah, i wasnt going to pull it out. vo when it really, really matters you need the best network and the best unlimited. Now plans start at 40 per line for four lines. This scarf all thats my left to rememb. Sayonara. What. She washed this like a month ago hows a guy supposed to move on . the long lasting scent of gain. Now available in matching scents across your entire laundry routine. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy our next guest is one of the best chefs in the entire world. Hes a multiple James Beard Award winner, best selling author, and tonight hes going to talk about his eat red, save lives campaign. Lets eightysix aids, you guys. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome our good friend, mario batali. Come on. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy dude, i love you so much. You know that. I cant even believe how much good stuff you do for the world, besides mario batali foundation, food bank nyc, and now eat red, save lives. Well talk about that, and thank you so much for just being you. Thats what i just wanted to say, before we even start. [ cheers and applause ] i want to give you kudos for two things. Jimmy yeah. One, trying the anchovy ice cream. Jimmy that was big for me right . And for sticking with that mustache, man. Thats a compliment. Thats a big move here. It aint movember. Jimmy no. Youre doing the right thing by no, im a man of my word. I did this summer stache, man, stache tag. Stachetag man. Absolutely. What do your kids think about that thing . Jimmy they play with it. They laugh at it. That right . Jimmy yeah, they go they think its a toy. Do they say, dad, that looks like the porn in the 70s . [ laughter ] jimmy no, they would never think that. Why would no, why would my kids think that i know you ive known you for a long time now. We go golfing together. Yeah. Jimmy youre very good, by the way. Youre getting almost too good. No, never too good to bet you. Jimmy yeah, but we talk about everything, and i dont know if ive ever talked about this gentleman from 1981. [ cheers ] explain hold on, hold on. Jimmy who is this . Yeah, can you do that same pose . Yeah. Who is that . I like that dude. This guys got it all figured out right here. This guys like, yeah empire. Thats mario batali the line cook at stuff yer face in new brunswick, new jersey. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy stuff yer face. Strombolis were the way to a a girls heart. Jimmy hes thinking, empire, empire. Back then i was just trying to get through the shift, and make sure that my 32inch waist was still 32. [ laughter ] jimmy have you ever been back to stuff your face . I go back every year. Jimmy stuff yer face. Yer right . Yer. Jimmy stuff yer face. Youve been back. Its in new brunswick, new jersey. Jimmy do they have a photo of you or anything, a plaque . Theyve got this weird little shrine with candles. Jimmy yes do they really . Go bill boley. I love you. Jimmy yeah, thats the greatest man. It is. Its a great place. Its the strombolis come in two sizes, large and jimmy get out. And huge. Jimmy huge, yeah. And thats fantastic. Its fresh food, made to order, its exactly what fast food should be. Jimmy but then you i love that you started there, and you ended up now just like youre running the world, man. No, i got 200 in my pocket. Jimmy eat red, save lives. When did this start, the red campaign . Well the red campaign is part of the one campaign started by Bobby Shriver and bono, and its all about creating the funding to develop and send the drugs necessary to preserve lives for people that have hiv positive. Predominantly in Subsaharan Africa for 35 cents a day, you can keep someone alive for the rest of their lives, they can have a normal life and its a a fantastic thing. Keep in mind, aids started in our lifetime. Its an amazing thought that we can vanquish, eightysix aids in our life time. So if you can participate in this way, by going to restaurant, and helping create this funding. Its something that in our lifetime we can actually rid the world of aids, which is a a giant health statement. Like, thats something amazing that science can figure out this crafty, weird disease and get rid of it. Jimmy and we can do it. And we can do it in our [ cheers and applause ] jimmy any restaurant that supports red, eat red. Restaurants, bars, grocery stores, anything involving the food, and beverage business. Theyre all involved to a a certain extent, and they want to be a part of it. If you eat red, you can save lives. Jimmy i think its a great thing that youre doing. [ cheers and applause ] i also want to mention, i had a a great time on moltissimo. Moltissimo on vice. Jimmy moltissimo on vice. I was on its a cooking show, but its young, and its cool, and you got all these cool kids in brooklyn shooting it, and it was me and Mary Giuliani. Jimmy Mary Giuliani was on, and man it was the most fun thing and its on when is it on . Its on wednesday nights at 10 00. Its on viceland. Jimmy yep. But its also on munchies, which is their website, and its crazy people like you or like ray lewis or like action bronson, or its a a lot of fun. We just cook food, and then we have a lot of fun. Jimmy quest, you have to do the show. Yeah, all of you have to do the show. Jimmy sure. The band should be on the show. Jimmy yeah, the roots would be like, yeah. [ cheers and applause ] i know they like to eat. Jimmy its super fun. Check it out, you guys. My thanks to mario batali. [ cheers and applause ] youre a gentleman. Youre the best. Liam payne performs for us next. Stick around, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] electric Light Orchestra ] sailin away on the crest of a wave, its like magic rollin and ridin and slippin and slidin its magic and you, and your sweet desire you took me, higher and higher, baby its a livin thing its a terrible thing to lose introducing the all new volkswagen tiguan. The new king of the concrete jungle. The seal you can trust. With stain and sealer in one. And easy to choose colors. Exceptional beauty and protection have never been easier. Thompsons waterseal stain and sealer. Available at national retailers. Discover card. Hey. What can you tell me about your new Social Security alerts . 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Where deadlines and duties disappear. In comfort that helps cool and cradle every curve. Serta icomfort. The most comfortable place to declare peace. Right now, save up to 800 on Serta Icomfort. Visit your serta retailer today. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy guys, liam payne has a new song called strip that down. The its a hit song. Its fantastic. [ cheers and applause ] stream it, download it, request it on your local radio station. Its that awesome. He is making his u. S. Solo Television Debut tonight [ cheers and applause ] for you performing strip that down, give it up for liam payne [ cheers and applause ] you know ive been taking some time and ive been keeping to myself m i had my eyes up on the prize aint watching anybody else but your love it hit me hard girl yeah youre bad for my health i love the cards that ive been dealt do you feel the same as well you know i used to be in 1d now im out free people want me for one thing thats not me im not im changing the way that i used to be i just wanna have fun and get rowdy one coke and bacardi sippin lightly when i walk inside a party girls on me f1 type ferrari six gear speed girl i love it when your body grinds on me you know i love it when the musics loud but cmon strip that down for me baby now theres a lot of people in the crowd but only you can dance with me so put your hands on my body and swing that round for me baby you know i love it when the musics loud but cmon strip that down for me yeah yeah yeah yeah oh strip that down girl love when you hit the ground girl yeah yeah yeah yeah oh strip that down girl love when you hit the ground you know that since the day i met you yeah you swept me off my feet you know that i dont need no money but when your love is beside me yeah you opened up my heart and then you threw away the key girl now its just you and me and you dont care bout where ive been i said i used to be in 1d now im out free people want me for one thing thats not me im not changing the way that i used to be i just wanna have fun and get rowdy one coke and bacardi sippin lightly when i walk inside a party girls on me f1 type ferrari six gear speed girl i love it when your body grinds on me baby you know i love it when the musics loud but cmon strip that down for me baby now theres a lot of people in the crowd but only you can dance with me so put your hands on my body and swing that round for me baby you know i love it when the musics loud but cmon strip that down for me yeah yeah yeah oh strip that down girl love when you hit the ground oh strip that down girl love when you hit the ground yeah yeah yeah yeah oh strip that down girl love when you hit the ground you know i love it when the musics loud but cmon strip that down for me baby now theres a lot of people in the crowd but only you can dance with me so put your hands on my body and swing that round for me yeah baby you know i love it when the musics loud but cmon strip that down for me yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah cmon strip that down for me yeah yeah yeah yeah dont say nothing just strip that down for me yeah yeah yeah yeah all i want girl if you strip that down for me yeah yeah yeah yeah youre the one girl cmon strip that down for me yeah yeah yeah yeah [ cheers and applause ] thank you. Jimmy hold on, oh man thank you very much. Jimmy liam payne strip that down is available now. Well be right back, ladies and gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] 60 of women are wearing the wrong size pad and. Experience leaks. Introducing always my fit. Find the number thats right for your flow and panty size on the top of any always pack. The better the fit, the better it protects. Always. Politicians playing gameston while south jersey gets short changed . Then vote fran grenier. Think its time we had a regular guy, not a lifelong politician . Thats fran grenier. Looking for a fighter to take on the tax hikes and job killing regulations . Elect fran grenier. Want a leader wholl actually stand up for south Jersey Schools and communities . If you answered yes to any of these questions, theres only one way fran grenier. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy my thanks to Ashton Kutcher, mario batali, vanessa hudgens, liam payne once again [ cheers and applause ] and the roots right there from philadelphia, pennsylvania. Stay tuned for late night with seth meyers. Thank you for watching, have a a great night. I hope to see you tomorrow. Byebye, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] announcer from 30 Rockefeller Plaza in new york, its late night with seth meyers. Tonight rob lowe, chat and music from brad paisley, featuring the 8g band with fred armisen. [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. Seth good evening, everybody. Im seth meyers. This is late night. How is everybody doing tonight . [ cheers and applause ] great to hear. In that case, lets get to the news. A new quinnipiac poll found that 33 of people approve of the job President Trump is doing. Unfortunately, theyre all under investigation. [ laughter ]