Hey hey, everybody cheers and applause hey, dudes. Whats up, dudes . Thats right welcome to the late show, everybody. Thanks so much. Yeah welcome to the late show. Im your host, stephen colbert. cheers and applause something about you makes you seem very attractive to me right now. laughter now, i dont know if you guys are anglophiles or anything, but if you are, if you are into england, its Queen Elizabeths birthday today. cheers and applause she is turning ninety years old. She is the first queen to ever reach that age. There would have been others, but they were beheaded. laughter really, really shortens your life expectancy. laughter scientists find, without this, really cuts down on it. Now to celebrate, liz, as she asked me to call her liz is going to have a huge party and i hear its going to be princess themed that should be fun. But it doesnt stop there, okay. Queen elizabeth is having her portrait done by annie leibowitz. Shes releasing a new stamp in her honor in may. There is a public celebration of her birthday. In june, there is a service at st. Pauls, plus a big parade and she gets to wear her birthday tiara all year long. Thats a lot. cheers and applause you may not insult her majesty the queen that way. Stephen what is the problem, what do you mean . Yes, there is a problem. Youre being very rude, and im going to take you down. To hit it, boys. Stephen surprise, your majesty i got you a stripper applause wait, thats all youre taking off . Were english. Were very conservative. laughter stephen im sorry, your majesty, i thought he was going to show you his bangers and mash. I i dont know what i dont know what i dont know. I tell you what, i also got you a television show. But first, lets say hi to jon batiste and stay human, everybody. applause band playing cheers and applause now before we get started, i just want to take a moment, in case the people in here dont know and havent heard the sad news today the world lost a great artist. Prince passed away today at his home in minnesota. I know, it was a shocking shocking and sad news. And i have been a fan since i was in high school. I remember a guy in my choir, skipper graham, brought in the very first prince album into our choir room. And we you know, there were so many things to love about it. One of it was obviously the music was so powerful. And also we had to wear the head phones so the adults could not hear the lyrics to any of the songs. laughter but of course as sad as i am, i was just a fan. But jon, i understand that you and some of the other artists over there actually got a chance to work with prince, which must have been a tremendous honor. Do you have any memorif jon yeah, he had he had a huge aura, his energy and presence in a room just kind of filled everybodys heart. You know, he had a certain kind of way of being aware of what was going on. I remember one time we were back stage and i was talking to him. And without even looking in the direction, just pointing his finger, he says courtesy. And then you look over, theres five people over there, you dont know what he is talking about. And then you turn, and there was a cat with his phone, filming our conversation. And he figured out through all that was going on backstage, musicians playing, everything happening, you know, courtesy. Put the phone away. Then he said down. Cat put it down. In your pocket. He put it in his pocket. Thank you very much. Okay, jon, so how are you . Stephen wow, total awareness of what was going on him. Jon his energy. Stephen besides being a beautiful artist, ma people are as influential enough to be known by one name, let alone by one color. But he was. So in a small gesture of respect tonight we would like to change the set in his honor. applause cheers and applause well, if youre following the news, you know that the 2016 republican primary toboggan ride is rapidly approaching the oak tree of their summer convention. laughter and if you think that youre worried about what is going to happen in this race, just consider reince priebus, r. N. C. Chairman and man whose name is an anagram for crisp bee urine. laughter tough spot right now. As his party approaches a contested convention, it appears to be going up in flames. As he told reporters yesterday, sometimes you cant fix it. Sometimes you can just take a sevenalarm fire and make it a fouralarm fire. Its still burning but not as bad as it was. applause okay, okay, very happy. Not as bad as it was . Reince, you understand how Fire Departments work, right . Youre not allowed to leave and say hey, i think we put a dent in it. Good luck. But dont worry, priebus insists everythings fine. You are the man in the middle. Theyre saying, its all your fault. I mean, so, im so used to it that i dont i dont even care. It doesnt bother me. Youre not pulling out your hair. Not no, im not. Stephen no hes not pulling out his hair. It is fleeing of its own accord. laughter applause were out of here but really, really, hes good. People assume oh, you must be miserable. You have a horrible job. But i dont see it that way. Im not pouring baileys in my cereal. Im not sitting here trying to find the johnny walker. I mean, this is fun. Stephen yeah, its fun. laughter this is, this is fun, right . How many more months of fun do i have . Six, oh great, yay. Though i have to say, mr. Priebus, uh, uh, im not pouring baileys on my cereal is a very specific reference for something for something you are not doing, sir. Methinks he doth priebus too much. And heres the thing, we care about you, reince priebus. I need to know about any other very specific things youre not doing. For example, please tell me youre not using jagermeister as a salad dressing. That youre not huffing ether out of a scoobydoo gym sock. That youre definitely not soaking swisher sweets and gasoline and wrapping them in bacon and then laughs that youre not keep going. cheers and applause i really, i really need to know that youre not doing rumpleminz body shots off an unemployed mall santa. Now, now if you will excuse me right now, cheers and applause i am going to treat myself im going to treat myself to a little baileys on my lucky charms. Mmm, mmm, mmm. Or as i like to call it, an Irish Continental breakfast. cheers and applause band playing laughter please tell me other people could hear that drumming . laughter it might just be the lucky charms and bailey combination going straight to my medula oblongata, because i could eat this whole bleep right now. Well be right back with tom hanks. applause the big hilton world sale is on honors members save up to 25 on brands like hampton, doubletree, hilton garden inn, and waldorf astoria so stop clicking around. Book direct at hilton. Com now thats satisfaction. Take on the unexpected with a car that could stop for you. Available in the altima, sentra and maxima. p. That, you haveit, wait yoto rinse it first like. Thats baked on alfredo. Bakedon . Its never gonna work. Dish issues . Cascade platinum. Powers. Through. Your toughest stuckon food. So let your dishwasher be the dishwasher. See . Told you it would work. Cascade. Fruit. Nuts. Silky smooth dark chocolate. Revel in the pleasure of new dove® fruit and nut. Were here with Bud Light Party super delegate michael pena to talk about diversity. America is a nation of immigrants. Were a schmorgasbord of cultures. A korean taco of togetherness. An everything bagel of unity, each one of us a different seed. That was beautiful, amy. I thought it was also nice, yeah. Yeah. Were a poutine of harmony. A gumbo of coexistance. Were a never ending, bottomless, all inclusive, super. Buffet of. I cant do any more metaphors. Ya know, alright. Cheers cheers. Im full. The seal you can trust. With stain and sealer in one. And easy to choose colors. Exceptional beauty and protection have never been easier. Thompsons waterseal stain and sealer. Available at national retailers. applause stephen welcome back, everybody. My first guest tonight is an oscarwinner and a hollywood legend. Please welcome tom hanks. band playing cheers and applause thank you so much. Thank you. This is great. Stephen look at that. Thats lovely. But seriously, good night sweet prince, may flights of angels sing thee to thy rest. Its a tough day, tough day. Stephen sad and shocking. If im going to be 60 this summer. cheers and applause you know, 60 is the new 58. I dont know if anybody has told you that. But i saw prince on either don kirschners rock concert or the Midnight Special, remember those horrible music shows . Stephen fantastic. And he was a young guy and i said who is this grand funk miester thats going to take us to the revolution . It was you know, its like, step mothers house, and im just trying to stay up late, just, you know, because thats the only truly controversial thing can i do. Because im such a bleep , you know, im staying up until 1 30 tonight. And i dont care who knows. And don kershners rock concert, only the other pale imitator, the Midnight Special came on. Stephen what about wolfman jack . Well, oh, i guess he did come out every now and again stephen yeah, yeah, exactly. Lets hear it for prince. And then he came out and it is not often that you watch tv and you think, this is a brand new thing. Because he was really funky in the late 70s, am i wrong . It was like it was like finally someone cracked rick james code. He took it and elevated it to this other and that was just the beginning of decades of that. And now hes gone, and god bless him, were going to miss him. applause not that it has me pouring i mean, i, well, were stephen i have some lucky charms and some baileys. Would you like . Well, how about you share that with your guests, bleep . Come on. Lets break it on out. cheers and applause what i love is, i love the st. Pattys day theme to this. Stephen were a little late for the st. Pattys day parade. First of all, these are the scariest colors found in nature. I dont know what these little stephen give it a shot. applause the truth is, for a 60year old man with type 2 diabetes, this is this is stephen this is a cry for help. laughter not exactly the breakfast of champions. Man, oh, man. Stephen not bad, huh . cheers and applause you know, after having a bite of that, i think im changing my political affiliation. And im going to vote republican every chance i get. Because theyre having such a great time wow. Stephen well, theyre going to be theyre going to be serving this at the convention as part of the suicide pact. cheers and applause now weve got to talk about your movie a little bit. Lets just lets just can we just admit that this is friggin delicious . Stephen it is so good. laughter it is so good, i swear. You will not believe it. Somebody at home is going to mom and dads liquor closet and the breakfast pantry right now to give this a shot. Stephen you know, the baileys the baileys, the alcohol really cuts into the marshmallow. It does. Stephen the moons, the stars and the clovers and it mellows them out. And the blue elephants and the were just going to go on and on. Stephen you know, it really shocked me when i tried it. I would love to have a pack of smokes right now, just sit back and really stephen maybe a swisher sweet soaked in ether, or Something Like that. Youd have to maybe a swisher sweet wrapped in bacon. Whatever that joke was supposed to be. laughter stephen its lost cheers and applause its lost to humanity. We dont know. It is as good as a completed line, my friend. Stephen i agree. Speaking of a completed line, you say a lot of them in your movie, he said, transitioning, in segue. Oh, wow. Stephen pretty smooth, huh . Can i say one thing first, you just got a building named after you. I did. This is at wright state university. cheers and applause dayton, ohio. Stephen congratulations. No, it is a big deal. This is the, i never had my name on a building before. Stephen thats nice. I have had my photo, you know, as in wanted. I have had that on some buildings. No, wright state university, they just opened it. It is a great honor. And to have your name on a building and knowing that, you know, people are going to i there and learn the tenets of film making, its an exciting thing. Stephen theres going to be kids getting up, going oh, i have a 9 a. M. Over in hanks. Thats what i am looking for. laughter because, okay, can we see that . You cant do an acronym, the t. H. C. F. M. P. Thats not going to fly. So you just want those hungover College Freshman to say i got to get to hanks. What are you working on now . I got to do some post production on a short film over in hanks. Thats what you want. The hanks. And its the only blue building on campus. So you cant, you cant miss stephen really . Any reason why it would be blue for you . It was part of the first of all, they said number one, it would be blue, with my name on it. Stephen they said. They said it will be blue. And secondly, there is also a threebedroom condominium that goes along with it, that i can use any time i am in dayton, ohio. So im looking forward to it. Stephen seriously . Thats really nice. Oh, yeah, im going back, my friend. Stephen wow, its all paying off now. Finally, the career is paying off. laughter at last at last ive got some purchase to go along. Respect. Finally cheers and applause te enjoyed this new movie of yours. Its called a hologram for the king. A hologram for the king. Stephen okay, you play an american businessmansalesman who has to go to saudi arabia to try to make a sale for an Information Technology over there. Three dimensional holographic Video Conferencing system. Stephen and you are constantly faced with challenges of like, not being respected because youre not a local, nothing is prepared for you. No one shows up. Stephen the king is never there. They stick me in a tent. They drop me off, yeah. Its a disaster in every way, shape or form. Stephen and we have a clip right here. Oh, lets look at the clip stephen of the challenges. Yes, indeed. Do you know why were not in that building . Well, maybe all the vendors are in here. And maybe were just the first. Kind of weird being out here. It is a brand new city. Its uncharted territory and we are the trail blazers. Where are we supposed to eat . Guys, come on we are in the kingdom of saudi arabia. With the deserts and the camels and the sheikhs and the tents. Are you okay . Yeah, yeah. Dont you know, they can only kill me with a golden bullet. cheers and applause thats me, thats very much the epitome of everything stephen we have to take a quick break here. Well be right back with more mr. Tom hanks and lucky charms. cheers and applause what if we woke up one day and everything just stopped going wrong . No more accidents. No more fires. No more emergencies. No more bad anything. But in a world where things stopped going wrong, where would state farm be . Right here. To help with college. Here. For that first car. And here. For new beginnings. Because in a world where nothing went wrong, your state farm agent will still be right here. Helping make life go completely right. From the makers of pepsi cola. Im gonna smell it. Im just gonna take one small sip. Kinda seemed like more than a sip. 1893. Bloldly blended colas. Think yotry nexium 24hr. s best for your heartburn . Now the 1 choice of doctors pharmacists. For their own frequent heartburn. Get complete protection with nexium 24 hour. Double down on your candy and coffee cravings with dunkins new heath and almond joy candy bar flavored iced coffees. America runs on dunkin. band playing cheers and applause stephen hey, welcome back, everybody. Here with our friend tom hanks. Now, just getting back for a second into this Little Center you got. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Stephen that is a milestone in your career. What do you remember the first milestone, the thing where you went okay, everything is going to be okay. Im set . Stephen like, i might be able to do this for a living . Like, i got it whipped . Stephen yeah. It was the moment i could fford to have my car repaired. You know, if you stephen not afford the car . Not afford the car . Afford repairs . Well, it gets repaired like, okay, so you are driving the used car, right, thats been yours for awhile. And a red light comes on the dash that says check voltage regulator. I dont know nothing about cars. But you know what that meant . Bankruptcy, failure. laughter uh, destitution. Stephen thats how you were teetering, how thin the ice was . Yeah, all of my life, as soon as i started driving, i lived in absolute total fear of the red light on the dash board. Stephen what would you do . I would wait until it would go off. I would hope, you know, if i can make it to corning, the red light might go off. I had a faulty regulator once and it was coming on and off. But then you get, you make some cash. You meet with some success. And guess what, red light on the dash board . I hope they all light up. How about that . laughter i hope they all stephen bring it alternator, voltage regulator. Stephen is that all you got not only can i afford to fix this car, i can afford to have it towed from anywhere in america. When that happened, i said, im going to be fine. I slept easy. Stephen what was your first car . My first car was a 1970 volkswagen bug. It was beige. cheers and applause stephen beige . beige. Stephen that is an exciting color for a young man about town. I was a wild man. I went to i went to shabow college, which was a Junior College in oakland, in heyward, actually. I wanted to single cheer from audience god bless. I wanted to have a college sticker in my rear window, like other people who went to m. I. T. And kal. And they had stickers that say shabow college. I didnt want them to know that i went to shabow, so i just cut shabow off and put college on the back of my car. Which cheers and applause stephen as far as they knew, anything could have peeled off the top. Oh, yeah, you know Stephen Oxford college. I went to harvard college, you know, whatever. Somewhere fun, back east. Stephen you made it now. You have made it now. Youre at the top of your game, at the top of your profession. Both you, but both you and i are sort of were doing good. Stephen were doing good. Were top notch actors, you know, in a way. Im an actor in my own way. Oh, oh, okay, yeah. You fake stuff. Stephen youre an actor. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Stephen youve got a bunch of oscars for your work. Thank you. cheers and applause stephen and ive got a bunch of emmys for my work, and bravo. cheers and applause stephen theyre basically, basically the same thing. No, they are not, sir. They are not. laughter stephen they are the same. But those of us who have emmys, think theyre the same thing. There is a big difference between the two, my friend. Stephen really . Yeah, yeah, huge difference. Stephen well, the point is you have two oscars, so between the two of us that averages out to one oscar apiece. And it is rare that two actors of our caliber, you know, are together like this. That is true. Stephen i think we should take a moment right now, just for the aspiring actors out there watching th