Thanks orgasms. Hey mr. Wiley. We got marcellus wiley. Hes a former Football Player, sports guy. I heard you say you are from compton. Does compton get a bad rap . I guess. Everyone thinks its like boys in the hood. I went to school and everyone thinks i was tougher than i was. He was the 1988 national typewriting champion. Let me ask. How many words a minute . 82. Thats it. I was in the 70s and thats how i got my job as the assistant to the commander on my base. That was amazing. Can you also type . [laughter] its tmz joke time. Knockers, knockers, who is there . Good question. And go. Its a blond, blond getting out of her car. It seems pamela anderson. That is kate upton. No. Bette midler . Hell, no. Hey, shes got a body. Hes right. Ever watch beaches with the sound off . Come on give her a kiss goodbye. Back to kate upton. Back to this chick. She has a very famous father. Wayne gretzkys daughter. Yes, the killer body belongs to paulina dude, i said Paulina Gretzky ten minutes ago. It was an american contest. Xenaphobia, its like patriotism only better. How is it going, man . We got psycho mike. We tell him my maid looks hot when shes cleaning. I hate to sound chauvinistic but its the truth. Ladies, there are three things you can do that make you look so much hotter to most men. That is clean up a little bit, do a little bit of cooking or take a Birth Control pill. When i watch women take Birth Control in front of me, that is so hot. I sort of agree with that. What . Because youre like no worries, party time. Shes safe. No worries except aids and herpes and gonorrhea and everything. Its not a kid. Treat it and it goes away. Not all of it its not going to ask you for lunch money. It doesnt go to college and have a mom attached to it. Oh my god. Take it easy man. We got moby and he was in japan recently. Do you use the bidets in japan . I have. Dont you think americans should use them too . Its one of the things growing up, i was pretty comfortable with the toilets that we had. Its not a toilet. Its built in. They have things you attach to the toilet. Its like an extra seat. Then you dont have to go outside and use the hose. When is that bidet going to get here . Hi neighbor. [laughter] thanks. Have a great night. Coming up, rod stewart and we asked him do you have any parenting advice for steve martin. There is a really long pause. You know hes got so much to say. Dont do it. Plus jesse jackson, jr. Stole Campaign Money and blew it on a fur cape, a mounted elk head and a used Michael Jackson fedora. Bad decision. Great Decision Making on what he bought. Coming up, we got diane cannon. How long do you wait before attention tmz viewers do you love tmz so much you want to wear it on your body . Before you get that painful tattoo, check out the tmz store. Weve got everything like shirts and hats and beanies and more shirts. Got a cold dog, then youre a horrible owner so get him a dog hoodie. Love to drink coffee, then pick up a hat. Want to be like harvey . No. Well you can still buy a sippy cup any way. Come to tmz store. Com where our motto is all major credit cards accepted. Youre looking at the most hated man in u. S. Politics. A man who stole almost a million bucks from his campaign and blew it on well really cool stuff. Jesse jackson, jr. And this video is about to get awesome. We got jesse jackson, jr. In d. C. Its the First Time Since he pled guilty to spending 750,000 on personal stuff. A fur cape. A mounted elks head. A football signed by two american president s. 17,000 on cigars and other tobacco products. And most importantly a used Michael Jackson fedora. And on the streets of d. C. Our photog asked the questions everybody wants to know. Why the Michael Jackson fedora and not the glove . Come on. That is great. Thats not all. Where is the Michael Jackson fedora now . Are you going to keep the fedora or the bruce lee memorabilia . Apparently he bought a bunch of bruce lee memorabilia as well. We love him. Amazing. You get to wear the Michael Jackson fedora . And finally have a good one, jesse. What do you think about j3 now . Hes made some ethical choices in what he bought. Where do you buy a fur cape . Cape town. That sounds pretty cool. You got to love this a little bit harvey. Hate him. Hes not a good guy. But as far as what he bought. What he bought is fabulous. So congrats jesse j. Jr. , youre horrible but you got style. Eddie van halens guitar. Let that man free. Hey ms. Cannon, how you doing . We got diane cannon. I love her. She looks good for 70 something years old. How long do you wait before you honk at somebody at a green light . It so depends. You probably honk when its still red though. We got to go. We got to go. I pride myself in getting calm. I wake up in the morning and do my spiritual work. I believe her. Then i go out on the road and somebody cuts me off and i flip them. I love her. Thank you so much. Bye. Hey rod. Hello my friend. Rod stewart and wife in west hollywood. I love this because ive got a lot of questions. Bet you do, sparky, but we asked one. Do you have any parenting advice for steve martin . Good question because steve martin is now a dad at 67. And 68yearold rod had his 8th kid two years ago. You know he has so much to say. Without further ado does rod stewart have parenting advice for steve martin . Hes a first time dad at 67, do you have any parenting advice . No, i havent actually. Okay. So there have you it, rod stewart has no parenting advice for steve martin. He almost did but didnt. This could have gone better. Whats up, andre . Andre johnson, big time Football Player. He went out to the club and gets credit for doing something Football Players normally dont do. What . Goes out to the club, has a good time and he gets in the car and has a driver. A Football Player made a good decision. [applause] hes that type of guy. Its a getaway driver. [laughter] coming up octomom is the proud new owner of a medical marijuana card. Apparently, shes got some anxiety issues. Its called 14 kids. Tmz online and on your phone 24 7. Its time for octomom more like octoganj, are we right . Octomom is the proud new owner of a medical marijuana card. Didnt know leeching off the american taxpayers is a medical issue. Shes got some issues. I cant imagine why. She got the card two days after leaving rehab for xanax. Guess thats better than while in rehab. So what, its just pot. Shes eating pot cookies and brownies and trying not to do it around the nannies. Shes getting high and trying to parent 14 kids. Okay, thats a bit of a problem. Or is it . Lets talk to an expert. One brownie is the equivalent of how many beers . Probably the equivalent of four beers. What are you high . They get you spun out for 12 hours. I thought the airplanes that were going over the airport were in the sand. Melting into the ground and stuff falling out of the sky. Are you guys taking medicinal peyote. I had pot brownies in college. I was wasted. Can we get back to the point . We dont remember because of the brownies. Who taught you how to do this stuff . You, all right. I learned it by watching you. Got that octo, so stop doing drugs or else youll grow a mustache like this guy. Taylor swift is leaving one of the after parties for the brit awards. There were photos of her performing and i started trying to google to find this performance. She looked so hot. Amazingly hot. I think its because she was over there where harry styles was going to be because he was going to be in the audience. Anybody who doubted her before is wrong. Apparently they dated before and got back together again. She pulled a hayden panettiere. I thought they were never getting back together. Ever, ever. I secretly kind of like that song. Its catchy. Sing it. Talk to my friends. Talk to me. We are never ever ever getting back together. Oh my god. I hate this song. Coming up jessica biel was rocking out to justin timberlake. For a white girl, shes got booty and some moves. Closed captioning and other considerations for tmz are provided by so bored of your ipad you are using it for a drink coaster. Get the app for ipad. Its got photo galleries, videos and stories and its easier to navigate than octomoms birth canal. Go to the app store and get the tmz app for ipad. The price is free. Still annoying. Jessica biel was rocking out to justin timberlake, her husband after the brit awards in london. You see her in the crowd. I love it. Suit and tie. It was sexy. For a white girl, shes got booty and some moves. I dont know if this is a booty and some moves. I dont know if this is a great move