Of americans approve of the job President Trump is doing as he approaches his 100th day in office. While the other 56 said its only been 100 days . [ laughter and applause ] that means ugh ugh [ light laughter ] according to a new report, german chancellor Angela Merkel was recently forced forced to explain to President Trump 11 times how trade works with european countries. She started to lose it around nine. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] customs officers at jfk airport recently arrested two passengers who tried to smuggle ten kilos of cocaine into the country by taping it to their legs. And they might have gotten away with it, if they hadwo [ laughter and applause ] no, man. No man, theyll be expecting pants. We wear shorts, trust me. Thats the way to go. [ light laughter ] yesterday was melania trumps 47th birthday, which means that her facebook wall was full of birthday wishes from friends and family. Lets check it out. Okay, here we go. Mark posted, happy birthday, melania. Janet posted, you rock girl. Happy birthday. Those are pretty standard. Lets see who else wished her a happy birthday. Lets see, donald trump jr. Posted congrats on being eight years older than me. [ audience ohs ] [ laughter and applause ] Vice President mike pence posted, im wishing you a happy birthday on facebook, because based on the rules of my marriage, im not allowed to be alone in a room with you. [ laughter and applause ] nice, though. Its a nice message. Donald trumps first wife ivana posted, my condolences. [ laughter ] and oh look, it looks like marla maples liked it. [ laughter and applause ] thats a share. Tiffany trump posted happy [ audience ohs ] [ applause ] secretary of Education Betsy Devos i think posted happy birthday. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] well give the benefit of the doubt. Benefit of the doubt. Former national security, now disgraced, Michael Flynn posted, well, okay im going to assume well assume that says happy birthday. [ laughter ] white house Senior AdviserStephen Miller posted, i hope it got the lotion i sent, and i hope it is putting the lotion on its body, or else it gets the hose. [ audience ohs ] [ light laughter ] Amnesty International posted, need help . [ light laughter ] ben carson posted, merry christmas. [ laughter and applause ] bill oreilly posted today is your day, sweet cheeks. [ laughter ] the nypd posted, did you get our card . Its a bill for 60 million. [ cheers and applause ] and finally, donald trump posted, happy birthday to my beautiful, current wife, melania. [ light laughter ] happy birthday, melania. An ohio gift shop owner reported that statues of bigfoot were stolen from outside her store earlier this week. But you gotta respect the Cleveland Browns fresh approach to the nfl draft. [ light laughter ] our head writer alex baze said that joke wouldnt work and i said, yeah it will. [ light laughter ] so now i give him the knowing point of a man who knows when he was wrong. [ light laughter ] also, youre fired. [ light laughter ] a third grade class in new jersey recently found a boa constrictor in the back of their classroom. Even scarier, they didnt find billy. [ audience ohs ] [ light laughter ] a jeweler is selling a darth vader mask made of solid gold for 1. 4 million. Though if you love star wars that much, i doubt youll get to tell someone youre their father. [ audience ohs ] [ laughter and applause ] luke, i am your fathers friend. [ light laughter ] and finally, a campaign in the u. K. Is encouraging parents to teach their children the accurate words for their genitals from a young age. Of course, in the u. K. , genitals are called crisps. [ laughter ] ladies and gentlemen we have a great show for you tonight [ cheers and applause ] we, unfortunately senator Bernie Sanders was scheduled to be a guest on our show tonight. Hes not here. He had to go to maralago to golf, can you believe it . [ light laughter ] no he is in washington, d. C. , because there may be a senate vote tonight. And so, were gonna have him back on at some time. I always feel a le about washington when bernies there. So were happy he is there and well get him back next time. But were joined [ cheers and applause ] by our our savior for the night, we just called her up a couple hours ago, aidy bryant from saturday night live. [ cheers and applause ] shes back on the show. Also, he is the star of the critically acclaimed new star series American Gods, he is one of my favorite actors. Ian mcshane is joining us tonight. [ cheers and applause ] and she is a rising star in Country Music who has an incredible performance planned for us tonight. Raelynn is joining us. [ cheers and applause ] so we have a lot of great stuff to get to. Before we get to that, as he nears the 100th day of his presidency, donald trump is dealing with foreign crises from a potential conflict with north korea, to a standoff over trade with canada. For more on this, its time for a closer look. [ cheers and applause ] seth there have been aot americans arent exactly thrilled with trumps performance so far. And yet despite those numbers, trump of course, still has a high opinion of his first 100 days in office. As a reporter who spoke with him yesterday found. Did he seem pleased with how things are going . Was he yeah, how did he seem . You know, i asked him to give himself a grade and he did give himself an a. Seth of course he did. [ light laughter ] theres no point in asking trump to give himself a grade. Thats like asking kanye west what he thinks of his new album. [ light laughter ] now, trump may be confident on the outside, but behind the scenes he and republicans have been scrambling to get literally any kind of positive achievement on the scorecard before the 100 day mark. Some of what theyve tried to do is what you expect. Some new executive orders, reviving their failed healthcare plan, but theyre also trying a fun new direction, a confrontation with canada. Is a trade war brewing with our neighbors to the north . The u. S. And canada now in the middle of a trade dispute. Commerce department moving to impose a tariff on softwood lumber that enters the United States from canada. The Trump Administration going after canada like we havent seen in decades. I wouldnt call it a war, but a but a trade spat. Spat. A spat . With canada over Dairy Farmers and lumberjacks . Two friends, two allies, two neighbors in a fight over Dairy Farmers and lumberjacks. Seth a fight over Dairy Farmers and lumberjacks sounds like a canadian romance novel. [ laughter and applause ] but seriously, its like all the jokes we made before the election are starting to come true. If we elect trump, were gonna end up fighting with canada. Ha, ha, ha. He did what . [ laughter ] now the short explanation is that the Trump Administration has accused canada of undercutting u. S. Dairy farmers and lumber suppliers, and retaliated by putting a tariff on canadian lumber coming into the United States. But were talking about a very specific type of lumber here, which means theres at least one upside to this whole thing. We get to enjoy news anchors using this very specific phrase. The trump admtr on canadian softwood lumber. [ laughter ] canadian softwood lumber. Softwood lumber. Softwood lumber. Softwood lumber. Softwood lumber. Yeah. [ laughter ] seth get your minds out of the gutter, you guys. [ light laughter ] not gonna take that as an opportunity to make a bunch of penis jokes. [ light laughter ] im just saying that donald trump doesnt wanna be slapped with soft canadian wood. [ laughter and applause ] so hes clamping down on it. [ cheers and applause ] so what . What specifically, does the Trump Administration object to . Commerce secretary wilbur ross explained that the white house feels canada is charging artificially low prices for their lumber using a word thats even more fun that softwood lumber. In canada, the forests are owned by the individual provinces. So the provinces subsidize the cutting down of lumber, this technical term being stumpage. [ laughter ] seth and this is all very confusing for trump, because stumpage is his nickname for donald jr. [ audience ohs ] [ laughter ] give me my son. No, not vanilla bigfoot, stumpage. [ light laughter ] trump himself even went one step further than ross, complaining about the public image of canada and claiming canadians may not be as nice as they seem. People dont realize canada has been very rough on the United States. Everyone thinks of canada as being wonderful and so do i. I love canada, but theyve outsmarted our politicians for many years. Seth canadas been rough on us . Come on, the worst thing canadas ever done, is try to pass off ham as bacon. [ light laughter ] and remember, the worst thing we ever did to canada was just one year ago. A game between two u. S. Teams last night officially ended any faint hope for a Canadian Team to make the playoffs. This will be the First Time Since 1970, the nhl playoffs will be all american. Seth no Canadian Teams made the playoffs, prime minister. What should we do . Lower the price of soft wood. [ laughter and applause ] in fact, trump was apparently so upset with canada that as of yesterday, his white house was threatening to terminate the landmark free trade deal between the u. S. , mexico and canada. The white house considering drafting an executive order to pull out of the north American Free trade agreement, nafta. Seth something tells me this isnt the first time trump has had to pull out because of some soft wood. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] im im sorry nafta, this has never happened before. [ laughter ] come on, donald jr. Sorry, come on, stumpage. [ laughter ] now last night, trump backed down from his threat, but a potential trade war with canada trump is dealing with. Theres also the possibility of an actual war with north korea. On wednesday, the Trump White House urgently scheduled a briefing with all 100 senators on developments in the north korea situation. But the way he did it, was very odd. An unusual meeting today, at the white house. So unusual, that just about everyone who was either watching it or was a part of it, couldnt remember it ever happening before. Senators went on a fleet of buses from the capitol on a roughly two mile ride to the white house. Field trip, the entire senate bused to the white house for an unprecedented briefing on north korea. Seth thats right, they took buses on a field trip to the white house. [ light laughter ] did they have to use the buddy system . Lindsey graham was probably like, i want john mccain. Hes my best friend. [ light laughter ] so the Trump Administration made a big spectacle of busing the entire United States senate to the white house, for a briefing that could have easily happened at the senate. To some it seemed like more of a p. R. Move than an actual briefing, which is why at least one senator, Bernie Sanders, decided not to participate. [ cheers and applause ] part of a photo opportunity or a political effort on the part of the white house. I did not want to be part of a road show for the white house. Seth and you know its a bad move when a socialist refuses to take public transportation. [ laughter and applause ] besides, and let me make something clear. The only bus i take is the chinatown bus. 12 bucks each way, and it only catches fire once a month [ laughter ] free heat. [ light laughter ] but it turns out bernies instincts might have been right, because later after the meeting, many senators expressed frustration at how little new information was presented. In fact, even republican senator bob corker was at a loss for words, and even seemed a little defeated when asked to describe the briefing. How was the briefing . It was fine. Did you guys learn anything in there that you didnt didnt know before . I didnt, really. It was it was an okay briefing. What do you mean it was an you didnt really learn much . I it was, it was okay. [ laughter and applause ] seth basically now, when senators end meetings with donald trump, they just wanted around the steps of the capitol like, trying to find democracy. [ light laughter ] i think i left it around here somewhere. I dont know. [ light laughter ] were real happy with the president. [ light laughter ] so they made a show of bringing senators to the white house, which might lead you to believe the president would be there. But according to one democratic senator, he made only a brief appearance and his entrance was very weird. I know the president stopped by the meeting for what, about 14 minutes is what we understand. Did he add anything . Did he answer any questions at all, senator . No, and it wasnt 14 minutes. He came out from behind the curtain, he introduced the panel. He says he has a very good team, good plan, some comments like that. And he said thank you for coming, and then he disappeared. [ laughter ] seth why was he behind a curtain . [ laughter ] how long was he there . [ laughter ] are they here yet . Are they on the bus . [ light laughter ] this is going to be so much fun. [ laughter and applause ] trump probably spends more time thinking about how he enters the room than actual policy. Ill hide behind the curtain, and then you bring him in. Ill come out, it will blow everyones minds. [ light laughter ] oh, and before i forget, at the state of the union, i want to be lowered from the ceiling on a crescent moon. [ laughter and applause ] so those are the foreign crises trump is dealing with. Meanwhile, here at home hes clashing yet again with the courts after yet another one of his executive orders was blocked by a judge. This one about withholding money from so called sanctuary cities. And of course, trump was not happy about the courts decision, which comes after two different versions of his travel ban, were also blocked. Trump tweed, circuit rules against the ban and now it hits again on sanctuary cities. Both ridiculous rulings. See you in the supreme court. Theres just one problem, with that tweet, the judge who issued the ruling is not on the ninth Circuit Court of appeals. Trump doesnt even know how the court system works. And if we lose in the supreme court, well take our case to the highest court in the land, the food court. [ laughter ] justice cinnabon. Trumps other problem with the court is its location. A white house statement blasted the judge who ruled against the order as a San Francisco judge, which is becoming something of a theme for the white house. They seem to think judges in certain parts of the country are illegitimate. You might remember last week, when attorney general Jeff Sessions said this about the hawaii judge who blocked trumps travel ban. I really am amazed that a judge sitting on an island in the pacific, can issue an order that stops the president of the United States from what appears to be, clearly his statutory and constitutional powers. In the pacific. I guess i should just be happy he knows where hawaii is. If you pointed to hawaii on a map and asked trump to name it, hed probably be like, is it tiny china . [ light laughter ] so the courts have blocked several of trumps executive orders. And his major legislative initiatives have failed. All he has to show for his first 100 days is a fight with canada. Is there a word we can use to sum this all up . Stumpage. [ laughter ] seth this has been a closer look. [ cheers and applause ] well be right back with more late night. [ cheers and applause ] new degree ultraclearnt saving black white. Othes. No yellow stains on white clothes. No white marks on black clothes. New degree ultraclear black white. It wont let you down. So ammara, youre a verizon engineer, tell me, whats one really good reason why the Samsung Galaxy s8 is better on verizon . Well we have the largest 4g lte network in america. Yeah thats a pretty good reason. And the most reliable. Uhhuh. Yeah, thats, uh, two, maybe even three reasons right there. Its exactly three. Okay. 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I usually bring i usually dont bring my personal grievances on the show, and talking about this particular issue has cost me friends in the past. But, you know what, im just going to say it. 3d movies suck, man at this point in the broadcast, seth launched into a 60 second, profanity laden tirade about 3d movies. And how, in his opinion, you end up paying more money for a worse movie experience. Network policy prevents us from broadcasting his comments, but due to a technical issue, we were forced to air this portion of the show. Movies are a scam created by hollywood fat cats because they ran out of real ideas in 1992. He suggested that the 3d glasses you get at the theater are so unhygienic, theyre basically bowling shoes for your face. [ light laughter ] adding, i dont want to see a movie about a flesh eating virus, while im getting a flesh eating virus.