Ing. Goodbye. Yes . Oh, uh, id like to see mr. Jackson, please. Hes quite busy. Do you have an appointment, mister, uh. Sheriff taylor of mayberry. No, i dont have an appointment but id preciate if youd tell him im here. Mr. Jackson, a Sheriff Taylor from mayberry is here to see you. What does he want . Im here to arrest him. Hes here to arrest you. Arrest what is all this . member me . I. Believe so. Yes yes. That speeding ticket, member . About two weeks ago . You said you had an important meetin so i let you go on the condition that youd come back on the 20th and stand trial member . Sday and you didnt come. Oh, yes, well, it, uh. It completely slipped my mind. Come into my office. Im sure we can straighten this out. Fine. Sit down, sir. Oh, thank you. Now, about, uh. Two weeks ago you said i came through your town, huh . Thats right. I would imagine youd have your hands full way out there in mayberry running down chicken thieves and curfew breakers. Er, would you like a cigar . No, thank you. Oh, maybe i will take one for my deputy. He likes one when hes feeling special sporty. Thank you. Now. bout the summons. Oh, yes, well, ill have miss fenwick draw up a check. D. Oh . Well, what can i do . Well, you can get your hat and come on. To mayberry . Youre really insisting on my appearing . Mmhmm. Oh, come on, sheriff. I cant leave just like that. Im the head of a big business here. I have responsibilities. Why. Im sure you and i can settle this little matter. Uh. I hope youre reaching for a comb of bribery in mayberry. Briberys one of the things we like to watch on account of there aint much else to do. Miss fenwick. Yes, mr. Jackson . Have my lawyer meet me in mayberry. If you all are ready, well declare court in session. gavels courts in session. Case of mayberry v. J. Howard jackson. The charge is speeding in excess of posted limits e to answer a summons. How do you plead . Sheriff, my client. Oh, guilty, guilty, lets get it over with. Since the defendant pleads guilty theres only one thing left to do, and thats pass sentence. Mr. J. Howard jackson you are hereby fined the sum of 15. Fifteen wait a minute. Do you mean to tell me you dragged me away from my business. Let me alone. For a measly 15 fine . and you just cant do that. Well, im surprised you didnt have a lot of reporters and photographers around here. Why is that . You running for reelection or something . Sheriff hauls in noted publisher. That would be pretty nice for a campaign speech, wouldnt it . Oh, boy, these hicks they sure love to go after big game, dont they . Well, one of these days, you will be pushed down to size. You wanted to see me, mr. Jackson . Yes. Sit down, jean. Are, uh. Are you in a nosy mood these days . A good reporters always in a nosy mood. Okay, this is it sheriff andy taylor a hick burg called mayberry. Look in the closets, sweep under the rugs bring back anything that can be twisted into an article. I want to pulverize that image. Thats a tall order, mr. Jackson. Most smalltown sheriffs are notoriously honest. In fact, theyre like shining knights. So thats why im sending you. If he has any cracks in his armor, you can find them. And ive never known a shining knight yet that didnt have a few. So you find them. Officer uh, could i have a little information, please . Oh, ill handle this, andy. At your service, maam. Oh, thank you, sheriff. Oh, well. Im not the sheriff. Im deputy fife. Oh, hi, im jean boswell. I was wondering if you could recommend a good hotel in town. Oh, well, the Mayberry Hotel is good. Thats it right there. Oh. Well, im a college student, and i was wondering how does it compare in price with some of the others . Well, it, uh. Uh. Well, that. Thats actually the. The only hotel. Well, i guess thats the one for me. College student, you say, huh . Im writing a thesis on smalltown administration. Im majoring in government. I thought mayberry would be a good town to research. You sure come to the right town, all right. And if theres anything i can do to help dont you hesitate to ask me. Im sort of, well. Part of the administration, you know. Barney yeah, shes a cute little thing. Probably pretty naive. You know how schoolkids are when it comes to the world. Its good to help out the cause o education. Yeah, thats what i thought. Especially when the cause is kind of pretty. door opens oh, hi hi. Uh. Its, uh. Miss boswell, isnt it . Uhhuh. Id like you to meet our sheriff. Andy, this is miss jean boswell. Miss boswell. Yes, thats right. Hillside university up at the capital. Oh, thats a fine school, fine school. Uh, would you like to take the tour of the headquarters here now . Oh, yes, id love to. Fine. Uh, you can, uh. Take notes if you like. Oh, yes thats a wonderful idea. Barney you ready . Uhhuh. Well, you are now within the confines offices in the town of mayberry. Now, here is the main cellblock. This is cell one this is cell two and. And, uh. So on. Uh. This is a heater. Say, heres something very interesting right over here. Uh. This is our Bulletin Board where we have fliers and bulletins from all over the state. Included are a. P. B. S uh, thats all points bulletins on various wanted criminals. Im not going too fast for you . Oh, no, no, just fine. Well, youve been just marvelous. Of course, theres one little thing i cant quite get over. Here you are the deputy and you look more like the sheriff e. You wear a complete, wellfitting uniform and the sheriff, well. He doesnt even wear a tie. And i notice that his shoes are a little dusty. Well, that is one of andys weak points but all in all, uh. One of his weak points . Uh, well. I bet you dont always agree with his ideas do you . Well, uh. I know a progressive, dynamic forwardthinking man like yourself must have some very definite ideas as to the way things should be run. Well, there are certain things that i would do different if, uh. I was running the show. Such as . Well. clears throat id, uh. Be a whole lot stricter about certain things if you know what i mean. Mmm. I think so. Well, like i always say, i. And the sheriff, he doesnt run a taut ship . Well, the kid is a little lax in that department. Like how . Well, the way he mollycoddles otis all the time. Otis . The town drunk. Why, he practically has the run of the jail. He locks hisself up when he gets drunk lets hisself out when he gets sober. No things would be different if you were running them. You bet and certain people crimes. You mean crimes go unpunished . Take the emma watson case. Emma watson . Chronic jaywalker. Listen, jaywalkin is a crime. Every time i write out a ticket for that Emma Watson Andy just tears it up. Says shes a sweet old lady and he aint got the heart to prosecute her, darn softy. The sheriff . Softesthearted fella you ever seen. After tearing up emma watsons ticket hed give her a ride home in the squad car. For unofficial business . Once i was all set to go out on patrol you know where the squad car was . Andy was making a delivery for art crowleys market. You dont say. Yeah. My gosh, look at the time. I got to get back to the office. See things are run properly. Well. About that thesis is there anything more i can give you . Youve given me all i need. Good. Paw, you wanna hear a joke . Yeah. Oh, yeah paw, ask me if i took a bath this morning. Okay did you take a bath this morning . Why . Is there one missing . Andy thats pretty good, ope. Sheriff taylor . Yes, sir. My name is roger milton states attorneys office. Oh, glad to see you, sir. This is my deputy, barney fife and my son, opie. What can we do for you . Le. Does the sheriff run the town or does the town run the sheriff . Well, andy, its all about you. In a town called mayberry justice has become a farce. Andy yeah. Malfeasance of public funds shocking disintegration of law enforcement. At the hearing . these are very serious charges. Im afraid im going to have to conduct a full investigation. I have no recourse, Sheriff Taylor but to suspend you from office pending a hearing on this matter. Can he do that . I can. Under this order from the states attorneys office. Deputy, the hearing is set for tomorrow afternoon. Until then, youll be acting sheriff. Paw, aint you gonna be sheriff anymore . Oh, now, dont you worry. Theres just been a little mistake and itll all be cleared up. Somehow or other. Whens this stupid thing gonna begin . Presently, sheriff. Ere. The commissioner will decide that after the hearing. door opens andy. Yeah. That answers a lot of questions. That article was in one of your publications, wasnt it . Thats right. When you hold a grudge you really hold it, dont you . Thats right. Who are you gonna get to prove all them things . Who you gonna get to say theyre true . States attorney has a key witness who will substantiate everything. Uhhuh. Ill just bet. Bribing some outsider to tell a lot of lies. Ha id sure like to get a crack at the guy that testifies. clears throat this hearing is now in session. Mr. Milton, you have lodged a charge of malfeasance in office against mr. Taylor here. Are you prepared to present your bill of particulars . Yes, commissioner. I have a witness who will verify these facts. Who is this witness . Bernard fife. Commissioner take the stand, mr. Fife. Huh . I said, take the stand. Me . im the witness . would you take the witness chair, please . Well, how can i be a witness against andy . You are bernard fife . Well, of course, i am. Just answer yes or no. Well, yeah. Is it not true that you made the statement that Sheriff Taylor was lax in the fulfillment of his duties . Whered you get a crazy thing like that . Allow me to put it in your own words. Speaking of Sheriff Taylor, you said, and i quote the kids a little lax. He doesnt run a taut ship. I never said no such of a thing perhaps i can refresh his memory. Is the young lady here . Yeah, shes outside. If you think its necessary. I think its necessary, yes. It will simplify matters. Its that college kid. commissioner bangs gavel andy, its that college kid commissioner, this is jean boswell a newspaper reporter and employee of mr. Jackson. This is a trick sit down continue, mr. Milton. Do you have as a frequent prisoner otis campbell, the town drunk . Well, we dont say it out like that. Just answer yes or no. All right, yeah. And this town drunk is allowed to arrest himself, to lock himself into a cell and is then allowed to effect his own release . When you put it like that. Yes or no . All right, yeah. Didnt you say that certain crimes go unpunished . Barney what . Only to have the sheriff tear them up . And the sheriff uses a squad car for other than official business . Didnt you say you needed the car in the line of duty but the sheriff was delivering groceries . And that these are not isolated incidents . That they happen all the time . Didnt you say so yourself . yes yes yes thank you. I said, you may step down. You can say that all you want to but i aint steppin down. This is a hearing, aint it . Well, seems to me you ought to hear everything not just a bunch of yeses. Very well, you may speak if you wish to. Thank you. Sure, i said all them things. But the truth is sometimes i get carried away with myself. I got to braggin a little bit. I guess thats one of my faults. But i sure didnt think it was gonna backfire and be used against andy. Why, andys the best friend i got in the whole world. And as far as im concerned, hes the best sheriff, too. All them things i said for example, his usin the squad car for personal reasons. Sure, he was deliverin groceries to emma watson example of the things andys done for the folks in this town. I could give you a lot more. You got to understand, this is a small town. The sheriff is more than just a sheriff. Hes a friend. And the people in this town they aint got a better friend than andy taylor. And as far as andy knowin his job id just like for you to take a look in the record book, mr. Jackson. You know, there aint been a major crime committed in this town thanks to Sheriff Taylor. The only ruckus youd ever have in mayberry is if you tried to remove him from office. Then youd have a riot you ask me if andy runs a taut ship, mr. Milton well, no, he dont. Thats because of somethin hes been tryin to teach me ever since i started workin for him. And that is, that when youre a lawman r if you go not so much by the book but by the heart. I guess maybe thats kind of hard for some of you to understand, i. I dont know. Thats all i got to say. Mr. Milton, is there any other evidence outside of this newspaper article . As a matter of fact, commissioner. Just answer yes or no. No. Then i see no reason to pursue this matter any further. Sheriff taylor. Our apologies for any inconvenience or embarrassment we may have caused you. Thats all right. [ ares ] oh, yeah ohh [ woman panting ] [ laughs ] come here hah [ sighs ] oh, yeah [ sighs ] ooh oh, yeah. Well, you know, you can cut thparty tricks. Youre looking for an heir a mortal to carry on your name. Oh, ive considered it. Well, here i amm my sword, my life, my heart. Honey, i hate to be the one to break this to you,
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