Transcripts For WPVI Jimmy Kimmel Live 20161112 : comparemel

WPVI Jimmy Kimmel Live November 12, 2016

Kennedy, wow. Traffic. 49 yards, springfield wins, 2410. The upper dublin students bouncing up and down in the stands. Hosting wes chester. Here comes michael on fourth down, he ties it. Wes chester comes back to win on a field goal. 1714 the final. They get springfield next. Wes chester, newtown, in the end, the tigers roar. Marilyn weathers gets in. Newtown hangs on to win in double overtime. Bishop shanahan against academy park. Shanahan quarterback, somehow, someway keeps the play alive. Avoid tackle after tackle. Finally finds joe ferrera. Touch down, but its not nuch. Academy wins. What a finish. Interbro. 2726. They get bethlehem catholic next. In pennsylvania in class 1a, jenkintown down 290. They are sent home with a brutal loss. In new jersey, the playoffs kick off. Wes chester among the schools favored. A perfect 80 record for the seventh time in the last nine years. They are moving on. They face col inswood next. Elsewhere, Woodrow Wilson quarterback, ramos, has a brutal night. Three interceptions. The semifinal, Woodrow Wilson, 2111. Camden catholic or st. Johns next. A rematch against high land for the playoffs. Kicked off for highland. Started the season 70. They lose the second straight and are eliminated. Wow. Lets go lets go clearview fans fired up. Shawnee down into the ten. Later, the quarterback, collin wells, well done. A touchdown. Shawnee beats them 3534 in overtime. They get pembroke in the second round. Holy moly. Runs all over month claire. Over 200 yards on the ground. Four touchdowns, including two in the first quarter. They play hudson. South jersey ranked five. Up in the end zone. What a catch. They go on to win 426. They are moving on. Cherokee beat millville tonight. In delaware, final week of the regular season, glasgow with the ball. Pulls into the end zone by the defender in the second. The first score of the night and first of many. Glasgow wins 227 clinching their first final. Dominating in all three fazes. Here on special teams, force the fumble. A big win, 310. That is it for high school huddle. Im jeff skversky. Have a great week. Tonight Linmanuel Miranda. From dr. Ken, ken jeong and albert tsai. Plus music from banks. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy very nice. Welcome. Thank you. Very nice, thank you. Im jimmy, im the host of the show. Thank you for watching. Thank you for coming. Thank you really for everything. For those of you who served in our armed forces, happy veterans day. [ cheers and applause ] because of your service, because of your sacrifice, the only wars most americans will ever have to fight are on facebook. So thank you very much. Speaking of facebook, did anyone in our audience get declared dead today . There was some kind of glitch in the facebook algorithm that changed a lot of peoples profiles to indicate they were deceased. Even mark zuckerberg, the founder of facebook, was pronounced dead. This was real. Remembering mark zuckerberg, we hope people who love mark will find comfort in the things others shared and remembered to celebrate his life. Police arrested the wigglevoss twins immediately. Is that really what you do when we die . Are we supposed to worry about how many like wet got . If someone likes when it you die, is that a good thing . My assistant max was declared dead today. I almost had to pick up a whole pot of coffee and pour it into a cup myself. Anyway. What a perfect end to a perfect week. President elect trump was in washington, d. C. Yesterday. He met with president obama. His wife met with michelle obama. And at the end of the day last night, after his full day at the white house, he tweeted this. He tweeted a fantastic day in d. C. , met with president obama for the first time, really good meeting, great chemistry, melania liked mrs. O. A lot. Is it just me or does that read exactly like a yelp review . [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] great white house. Fantastic. Trump said his top three priorities, they asked for his top priorities. He said immigration, health care, and bigleague jobs. Not just jobs. Bigleague jobs. Which i think i have always wanted to play professional baseball, so i think that is fantastic. As for immigration the fact that we elected donald trump has reportedly put mexico on edge. I dont understand, what has donald trump done to make mexicans nervous . Is there anything i should know about, guillermo . The Mexican Government said for the record they will not pay for a wall. They refused Donald Trumps venmo request today. Dont know . I didnt know what it was until yesterday either. Im saying ate lot now to catch up. Experts estimate this wall they think would cost up to 25 billion. Do you have any idea how much cocaine theyll have to sell us to cover that . [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] here in the United States the antitrump protest rallies continue. Trump weighed in on that subject again on twitter. Just had a very open, successful president ial election, now professional protesters incited by the media are protesting, very unfair. Professional protesters . Well, hey. Look at him, hes creating jobs already. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] professional protesters. Then strangely nine hours later he changed his position completely. He went from very unfair to love the fact that the small groups of protesters last night have passion for our great country. We will all come together and be proud. Which means either someone on his staff took over his twitter feed, or we have our first openly bipolar president of the United States. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] there were protests and probably are some right now in Downtown Los Angeles yesterday. More than 180 people were arrested last night. This morning our local ktla news caught up with a young man who was among those arrested. This is his cautionary tale. Now i got to feed the meter just because of this. Why are you out here protesting . Because i just dont think trump is the right person to be in the white house. Did you vote in the election . I couldnt vote. I wasnt registered. But the least i could do is like go out here and protest. Jimmy no the least you could do is have voted the other day. This was less than the least you could do. [ laughter ] you know, we go out on the street, people lie to us on camera almost every day. This guy had to tell the truth . I mean, heres how that should have gone. Did you vote in the election . Of course, what kind of an idiot would come out here if he didnt vote in the election . By the way the turnout for this election was the lowest in 20 years. The lowest since 1996. Instead of putting stickers on the shirts of the people who voted, they should put tattoos on the foreheads of those who did not. [ cheers and applause ] by the way, i see all of you clapping. I know at least half of you are lying right now. [ laughter ] believe it or not, Hillary Clinton still has a chance to win this. According to the constitution, that thing those guys wrote . Anyway, clinton could still become president. I know this is a stretch. But she could still become president if all three dancing with the stars judges give her a 10 on monday night. [ laughter ] for real, though, it has to do with the electoral college. The electors are going to meet next month to cast their official votes. This is where it gets weird. Theres nothing in the constitution that says they have to vote for whomever the people of their state voted for, they can vote for whoever they want to. Theyve got a petition now asking these people not to vote for donald trump. There are more than 3 million signatures on it. I dont know, hasnt Hillary Clinton been through enough . She lost to obama, she lost to trump, she has to lose to trump again . There was a Hillary Clinton sighting. A woman in upstate new york where Hillary Clinton lives was bummed about the election, she decided to go for a hike. She put her daughter on her back, she went for a hike. On that hike she ran into Hillary Clinton. Who was with bill clinton in the woods. [ laughter ] by the way, thats not a joke. [ laughter ] she was with bill clinton in the woods. Shes really taking this lock her up thing seriously. The poor woman is hiding in the woods from donald trump. Put that picture up one more time. Where the hell was that dog the whole campaign . The cute factor could have changed everything. Anyw anyway, trump unless the white house and hillarys in the woods. Weve heard a lot of heard a lot from a lot of people about this election. We heard from pun kits, surrogates, experts, anchors. We havent heard from kids. This afternoon we went on the street just outside our theater to ask children to give us their thoughts on our next president , donald j. Trump. You know there was an election a couple of days ago, right . Yes. Do you know who won . Donald trump. Now how does donald trump make you feel . Kind of iffy. Iffy . Why is that . I dont know, hes really rude. How does that make you feel that donald j. Trump is your president . Oh, god. Not really comfortable. But i mean the world keeps moving on. When he became president , what was the face that you made . I made an angry face. Let me see. [ laughter ] do you like donald trump . Oh how would you describe donald trump . Describe him as an idiot. An idiot . Yeah. How does that make you feel and why . I dont really care because im canadian. But i dont like him. Are you worrieders going to come to canada . Kind of but not snoop dogg, i want snoop dogg to come. What do you think he should do, donald trump . Well, he should clean up the whole effort. Clean up the whole earth . Yeah, he should be a plumber. Be a plumber . Why do you think that . Because then he gets dirty and he has to clean the toilet. If you had to say one nice thing about him, what would you say . Oh. Well. He doesnt hes not the ugliest person in the world. What does he look like . He looks weird. He does look like a dope. A dope . Yeah. Do an impression of donald trump. I could stand in the middle of broadway and shoot somebody and i wouldnt lose any votes. Im donald trump and im the best person in the world and Hillary Clinton sucks. Can you do an impression of donald trump . Shes a nasty woman. [ deep voice ] shes a nasty woman is that darth trump . Is donald trump going to be good . Hes going to be yuge what do you think about donald trump . Good guy. Hes a good guy . Yeah. Do you like him . Yeah. Would you want him to be your babysitter . No. [ laughter ] no . Why not . Because hes i dont know. You dont trust him . No. So would you want donald trump to be your dad . Of course not. Why not . He might murder my mom. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thanks, kids. We have to take a break. When we come back we will play what may very well be the dumbest game show of alltime, so stick around, well be right back. [ cheers and applause ] the full value of your totaled new car. The guy says, you picked the wrong insurance plan. No, i picked the wrong Insurance Company. With new car replacementâ„¢, well replace the full value of your car plus depreciation. Liberty mutual insurance. Autumn was born on the first day of fall. Fan. And from an early age she learned to love the season. Leaf piles and pumpkin pies. Hot apple cider and cozy sweaters. Which brings us to the very moment she fell for fall all over again. Was she expecting to find the perfect designer boots at such an amazing price . No. But thats the beauty of a store full of surprises. You never know what youre gonna find, but you know youre gonna love it. Marshalls. Your surprise is waiting. Bill assumed his mayo was the best choice. Assume nothing. Unlike hellmanns, kraft real mayo spreads on smoother and still has no artificial flavors. No wonder the holidays taste so good. And you just need to say it out have somloud. G to say when something happens in the world that blows your mind or breaks your heart or your simply stoked about or makes you question everything you might have something to say. Say it. To whoever youre with and if you have more to say just take out your phone and press this. Tap this. And go live. Now youre not alone your friends are here to listen jimmy hi, there, welcome back. Linmanu Linmanuel Miranda, dr. Kim jong, music from banks on the way. First its time for a game, we came up with a game, it took almost a full minute to come up with this one. In this game we give pedestrians a chance to win warm, hard cash, its in the pockets, its warm. All they have to know is who is on the money. That is the name of the game. We go live to hollywood boulevard. Cousin sal is standing by. What is your name . Sal my name is sal. Jimmy no, i meant actually, i see your name, your name is sheldon, correct . Yes, sir, jimmy, how are you doing . Jimmy im doing well. When are you from . Chicago go cubs. Carly fiori jimmy request i dont know if you got the news but they went. Yeah. Jimmy congratulations on that. What do you do for a living . I work in mental health. Jimmy you do, okay. As a patient . Or an attendant . [ laughter ] well, i probably should be a patient. But i work in mental health. Jimmy great. This is how the game works. We are going to start with a coin, a penny. Were going to ask you to tell us who is on the penny, and if you get that right, we will move up to a nickel. All right. Jimmy and then a quarter. And so on. Do you understand . I understand. Jimmy all right. Lets begin. Sal, you have the coins. Sal i do right here. Jimmy first we have a penny. Dont look at it. Who is on the penny, sheldon . Abraham lincoln. Jimmy that is absolutely correct. [ cheers and applause ] sheldon wins the penny. You have a decision to make. Do you want to stay . Do you want to keep that penny . Or do you want to risk it all and go for the nickel . I Just Got Paid friday so ill risk it all. Jimmy hes going to risk it all, everybody [ cheers and applause ] jimmy wow. Sheldon. Yes . Jimmy who is on the nickel . Jefferson. Jimmy that is absolutely correct, sheldon. Sal wow. Jimmy sheldon now has 6 cents. Sheldon, are we going to try to make it 16 cents . Are you going to go for the dime . Yes, sir. Jimmy hes going for the dime. All right. Sal can i just say, a lots happened this week, we dont know where the economys going, walk away with the money. No, no, no. Keep going. Sal ive seen this many too many times. Jimmy lets ask the audience, should he keep going . [ cheers and applause ] the audience wants it, sheldon. Sheldon, who is on the dime . Nobody yell in the background, please. Don knots. Jimmy what . [ laughter ] jimmy what . I dont know. Jimmy don is not on the dime. Sal i begged you to walk, i begged. Sheldon, im so sorry. Sal give me the money. Jimmy were going to have to take that 6 cents back. Thank you for playing. Well, at least the cubs yeah. Sal, just take it all, there we go. Thank you, sheldon. [ cheers and applause ] lets get another player in there. Its harder than it looks. You think you know. But then youre on the spot. Lets see who we have now. Hi there, jess character how are you . Good, how are you . Jimmy doing well. Are you here on vacation . I am in town for a wedding. Er what are you in town from . Detroit, michigan. Jimmy whos getting married . My cousin. Jimmy a cousin you like . Yeah, i love him. Jimmy are you in the Wedding Party . Im not, unfortunately. Jimmy this is a cousin you like but she doesnt like you that much. Not so much. Jimmy how big is the Wedding Party . I cant be sure. I dont know. Jimmy wow, so youre really second, maybe third tier. Yeah. Not that important. Jimmy youll be sitting by one of the speakers, right . Definitely. Jimmy all right, are you ready to win money . Of course. Jimmy were going to start with the smallest coin possible. Cousin sal has it in his hand. Tell us who is on the penny . Lincoln . Jimmy that is right, abraham lincoln. [ cheers and applause ] all right, youve got 1 cent. Sal this is going to be some wedding gift. Jimmy do you want to go up to 5 . Guess whos on the nickel . Sure. Jimmy all right, shes going for it, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] jessica, who is on the nickel . Nixon . Laugh live. Jimmy they dont do it through alliteration. No, nixon is not on any of the money. We dont like him, he was bad. [ laughter ] im sorry. Wow, that was the quick els out ever. All right, jessica. Very well done. Thank you very much. [ cheers and applause ] weve got to get at least up to a buck. All right, this guy. Hi, cobi, where are you from . From hawaii. Jimmy hawaii. What do you do for a living . Student at usc. Jimmy what are you studying at usc . Business. Jimmy so you should know money, correct . Oh. Sure, why not. Why not. Jimmy do you understand . I know weve been keeping you sequestered from the others. But the object of this game is to guess is to tell us who is on the coin. Were going to start with a penny. Okay, who is on the penny . Abraham lincoln. Jimmy that is right. [ cheers and applause ] you have 1 cent. Do you want to go for 5 cents . 5 cents. Jimmy all right. Sal i am so nervous right now. Jimmy who is on the nickel, cobi . Thomas jefferson . Jimmy that is absolutely correct. You have 6 cents. Do you want to make it 16 . 16 sounds good. Jimmy all right, cobi, who is on the dime . Can i check my wallet . Jimmy you cannot check your wallet but you can think about it. Can i get a lifeline . Jimmy we could give you a lifeline. We have somebody who knows a Little Something about the president s and that type of thing. Oh, wow. Jimmy i believe we have Linmanuel Miranda. [ cheers and applause ] hello, los angeles. Jimmy lin, i dont know if youve been keeping up, cobi is about to guess whos on the dime. He needs a lifeline. 16 cents . Jimmy yes, 16 cents is at stake here. All right. So im allowed to give him a hint . Jimmy you can give him a hint, yes. Its a roosevelt. Jimmy okay, you ont need to say the last name so go with roosevelt. Roosevelt. Jimmy it is roosevelt, thats right [ cheers and applause ] lin, stay out there. Hes going to need help. Sal split the money and go. Jimmy its about to get easier. Do you want to keep going . Lets keep going. Jimmy who is on the quarter, cobi . George washington . Jimmy that is correct. [ cheers and applause ] youve got 41 cents. Do you want to go for a dollar . Yeah. Jimmy okay, who is on the dollar, cobi . George washington. Jimmy all right. [ cheers and applause ] now do you want to stay there . I feel like you probably should stay there. But maybe think about it. Look at the crowd, everyone outside wants you to go most of those people are homeless but listen to them anyway. Who is on the 5 dollar bill . Abraham lincoln. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy that is a

© 2025 Vimarsana