Well, janine, thats an interesting proboscis. Its supposed to be a nose. Perfect. The cook, the thief, his wife and her lover. Im not in the mood for disembowelment. How about helen mirren topless . Could you stomach that . Oh, my god. Oh, that is disgusting. Oh, get. Away. I think well call it a day. Thank you very much, greg. Nice work, wanda. Excuse me. I just wish you would have told us. I mean, when you said still life, i was thinking bowls of fruit. Im going to throw up. Now youre with mr. Nude america. Last week we drew a female nude. Thats a herring. Its not finished yet. You look at naked women. That is different. The female body is a thing of majestic beauty. Men are disgusting. No. Gregs body is beautifully proportioned. Greg . Yeah. He has a name. Do you have to call him by it . Hes not just a body. Hes smart. Hes applying to the chicago art institute. Isnt that where youre going . Its on my list. This kind of Emotional Turmoil makes me hungry. Lets go get a pizza. O. K. , ill go, but im on a special diet. I brought my own lunch. What . Im having a teriyakiflavored rice cake and dolphinsafe tuna. It helps build muscle. You should try it. Are you saying i should build muscle . No. But since studying art, os david. Thats a glorious celebration of the male physique. Nobody looks like that in real life. Doogie, you obviously know nothing about the human body. The patient is a 23yearold model named sasha larkin. Face like an angel. Unfortunately, a voice like morton downey, jr. Acute laryngitis. Shes been chosen spokesperson for carmiche perfume. Company wants a diagnosis before signing the contract. Have you ever had laryngitis before . No. Have you recently had a cold, respiratory problems . Im fine. I just cant talk. Well, you look wonderful. What about food . Does it go down all right . No choking or indigestion . Do you smoke . Pretty straightforward case, wouldnt you say, gentlemen . Bulimia. Hoarseness, swollen parotid and sublingual glands, discoloration and erosions on her front teeth. The fingers. What about them . Scarring on the dorsum of the right hand from the teeth and stomach acids. Very astute. Ill wait for the blood tests, but shes got an eating disorder. Were collecting menus for this ward. Can sasha larkin eat tonight . Light dinner. She has more tests tomorrow. Dr. Howser. Just the young bachelor i was looking for. If this is about that bachelor auction you were too young last year. Now that youre on the verge of manhood it seems so demeaning parading in front of a lot of women. Were in tuxedos, not gstrings. Im counting on your participation. How about a bake sale . It is kind of a bake sale. Your buns are up for grabs. You are two female chauvinist pigs. Dont worry, doogie. You have potentially great buns. Potentially . Doogie, what are you doing up so early . I thought you were in late. Yeah, i was, but im feeling sort of sluggish so i decided to go to the gym. You hate the gym. No, i dont. You said my aerobics class was full of people doing the wrong exercises for the wrong reasons and that it was a symptom of our. Superficial, bodyobsessed mom, im going to the gym. Do you mind . Oh, sorry. O. K. , im ready. Lets pump some iron. Lets build some brawn. Lets press some benches. What does that expression mean anyway . Just dont get musclebound, doogie. Youre adorable the way you are. I dont want to be adorable. The new kids on the block are adorable. Personally, im shooting for adorable. [katherine howser] doogie, wandas here. Send her up. Hi. Hi. Here. Let me get these medical books out of your way. This steamer trunk bothering you . I can move it. Whats wrong . I have something to tell you, and i want to be totally honest with you so you wont think anything weird about it. About what . Remember i said gregs applying to the same art school as i am . Were going out saturday night and compare notes. Youre going on a date with greg . No, not a date. Were going to talk about school. Oh, right. Youre going to talk about art school . I dont believe how naive you are. Hes using the oldest trick in the book. I dont think so. And why not . Y y are you getting so upset . Its totally innocent. Ill tell you why, wanda. Youre going out with greg because you find him physically attractive. You think hes a hunk. You are so unfair. You know plenty of people i dont know. I have one new friend, and you start freaking out. I am not freaking out. I am simply having a normal human reaction to an extreme set of circumstances. Whats that . My girlfriend is going out with a professional nudist. Thats it, youve flipped. Okay, fine, i have flipped. I dont ask much, but im asking you not to meet this guy. Were just gonna talk about school. Ill bring a fig leaf. Theyre going to this place called sunflower. Its one of those artsy places on Topanga Canyon where the meat dishes where does a guy like greg get that kind of money . Theres a big market for nudity. I cant believe wanda would be so superficial. Does this look any bigger . No. Great. Come on, doog, you should count your blessings. I mean, youre in good shape. Youre handsome, you got nice hair, a full mouth. Im going to stop. This is getting sick. Youre right. Im being stupid. Im smart. Im a catch. Wanda will see the error of her ways. Ahh. Lets do a couple more sets. Oh, forget it. Im so sore, even my earlobes hurt. Well, im not quitting. You got to go for the burn, kid. Fine. Go on, be a musclehead jerk hi. Dr. Rickett asked me to see how what are you doing . Im checking out. Ive got two assignments lined up in new york. Im not blowing them because of a scratchy throat. Its more than a scratchy throat, isnt it . I just saw the results of your blood tests. Youre hypokalemic. In plain language, decreased. So ill eat a banana. Your glands are swollen, your larynx is inflamed. You have all the classic symptoms of bulimia. I think you know what that word means. We can help you. We have an excellent therapeutic clinic. You can be treated confidentially on an outpatient basis. 70 of our patients respond to the treatment. The bodys a Sacred Temple to you, judged on your physical appearance. Are you kidding . Im losing my girlfriend to a guy with a body women dream about. Tomorrow, im going to this bachelors auction where no ones going to bid on me. Im lifting weights like a crazy person trying to make my body something its not, and everything hurts. Youre still a whizkid doctor. What youre going through isnt real. How real is your life . Look, you cant be a model forever. Start thinking about the rest of your life. You keep this up, there wont be a rest of your life. Youll die. That may be a good way to lose weight, but its not great for your social life. Hi. How are you . Sorry to have kept you waiting. How do you like this place . Its great. I come here and draw. The human face is so fascinating. Im glad were getting a chance to talk. I dont know anyone else i can discuss art with. Move your head to the right. Sure. Thats beautiful. I think the impressionists are really overrated, dont you . Im much more into the preraphaelites. What can i get you two . I wouldnt say no to a Spanish Villa and a 90foot yacht. Well have the orange roughy. Trust me on this. See that . What . The waitress hitting on me. My father thinks hes totally out there. Perfection. You mind if i see it . Its still pretty rough. Its you. Yeah. Theyre all you. I have many moods. See, wanda, i dont just want to create art, i want to be art. [applause and cheering] 120. 140 160 160. Come on, ladies. Dr. Mcguire is six feet tall, with beautiful brown eyes. His hobbies include jogging, reading, and avoiding commitments. Make it a round number. This ties a nightmare. Why couldnt you get a clipon kind . My girlfriend is on a date with a nude model, every move i make is agony, im about to be humiliated, and youre worried about my bow tie. Its the only thing under our control. Sold to number 18. 240 dr. Mcguire broke the record. Youre on, howser. Uh, doog, never underestimate the pity vote. Now, for your auctioning pleasure, heres dr. Douglas howser. He may not be the biggest hunk, but remember, ladies, good things come in small packages. Dr. Howser is a thirdyear resident. Hesoh, we have a bid 20. 40. 100. Ooh 120. 140. We have two enthusiastic bidders. You ladies know something we dont . 160. 180 i dont blame you. He is a sweetie. Do i have any advance on 180 . Sold to lady number 16. Come and collect your goods and bring your checkbook. Wanda . Can i borrow 40 . I got a little carried away. Sure. I cant believe youd bid that much. I cant believe i had to. Whos that . Thats sasha. Shes just a patient. Miss plenn, ask for a receipt at the desk when you pick up your bachelor. I was bidding with my pocketbook. Your girlfriend bid with her heart. No chance i would win. Its just as well. Ive got to save my pennies now that im not working. Really . Yeah. Ive decided to take a certain young doctors advice. Im going into the treatment program. Thank you. Thank you. Wanda. Im sorry. No, im sorry. Im sorry i hurt your feelings. Am i still your girlfriend . How much did you pay for me again . 180 bucks. I have no choice. A hot shower might help. M gonna cool it with the weights. Good. Youve been overdoing it. Easy for you to say. You were always one of the big guys. [chuckles] trust me, its all relative. Therell always be someone bigger than you are, stronger, or better looking, or smarter. Well, maybe not smarter. Well, yeah. If im being honest, it does. Youre growing up. Pretty soon youll be just a really smart adult. What a comedown. Well, the point is that you dont look to other people for your selfesteem. You can earn respect from other people, even admiration and praise, but it wont mean anything to you if you dont respect yourself. Good night, buddy