u stopped cooking, too? what do you mean, too? well, you don't do nothing else. oh, phht. i do everything here. i load the truck. i make the pickups. i do the inventory. what do you do? coordinate. you coordinate. you sleep on the couch all day. that's right. i'm an interior coordinator. well, why don't you forget about business for a little while and get you a girl to take out and have some fun. i don't think i have the strength, pop. you got a girl? yeah. well, i got the strength. what's her number? [knocking on door] you know, i don't understand it, man. because i've been working hard all day, and i come-- and i don't understand this. hey, ju. hey, lamont, man. how's it goin'? all right. mr. sanford, beunas noches. buenas noches. hey, that means good night, don't it? right. well, good night, so long, and i'll see you at the next revolution. hey, pop, would you leave julio alone? no, that's all right, man. whenever he says things like that, i just turn the other cheek. hey, lamont, i just came by to tell you, man. i can't make that movie tonight. what's up? oh, i'm just too tired, man. you know, i drove over 200 miles making pickups today. 200 miles? you've been to tijuana. now where are they? who? them wetbacks. hey, lamont, we'll make the movie some other time, ok? ok, it's been a hard day for me, too. look, why don't you grab a squat before you split? great. hey, you know something, man? it seems like every day is a hard day on this job, man. that's funny. that's the same thing i ask myself. why did julio get into the junk business? why is he living next door to us? why is he smuggling wetbacks into america? come on, mr. sanford. you know what i'm talking about, man. running a junkyard is a rough business, man. especially when it's a one-man operation like mine. hey, don't feel like the lone ranger, julio. ours is a one-man operation, too. [knocking on door] long day, brother. hey, come on in, fellas. [all talking at once] say, why don't you guys have a seat? no, we can't stay too long. we came by for some parts for our squad car. here? what's wrong with the police garage? yes, well, under the circumstances, we thought it best not to advise them of the circumstances surrounding the circumstances, if you know what i mean. no. what does he mean? somebody stole all our hubcaps. hey, did you get to see the guy who did it? we had the windows rolled up. you mean to tell me they ripped you off while you was in the car? that's right. [snickers] i'm gonna get you some hubcaps. uh, mr. sanford, uh, what will be the cost of those hubcaps? let's see. that's $2.00 each, so that'll be-- hey, $2.00 each? that's too much, man. i mean, i got hubcaps for $1.50. you can have the set for $6.00 uh, 5.50, i'll let you have 'em. $5.00. 2.75. hey, wait a minute, pop. what are you doing? just back out the way. you're in the middle of a junk war. $2.50. 2.25. $2.00. $2.00? that's right. $2.00, man. hell, i'll take them myself. you must be out of your mind, man. do i look like i'm crazy? that's my price to them, not you. what do you mean to them? ain't my money good enough? [all shouting at once] [whistles loudly] you're both-- hey, wait a second. hey, fellas, what about your hubcaps, man? well, we decided to go to goldstein's across the street. goldstein! i'm glad you agree, mr. sanford. i mean, after all, you're both friends of ours, and we wouldn't want to be accused of playing favorites, so we're just gonna cut off. out. oh, yeah, cut out. right. but if i might be allowed to make one suggestion, that suggestion might be that you guys look to officer smith and myself as an example to the future. come on, hoppy. uh, wait a minute. wait a minute. i am referring to teamwork. teamwork? that's right, teamwork. instead of hurting each other, you could be helping each other, right, smitty? just let me illustrate my point musically. ? you see, wherever we go, whatever we do ? ? you know that we do it together ? ? wherever-- ? just get in the car. get in t car! now, what was he talking about? i know what he was talking about, and i don't know why i didn't ink of it sooner. think of what? are you thinking what i'm thinking? i'm right with you, man. talk to me. think of what? if we had done this a long time ago, we'd probably have a lot of money now. think of what? we could share the work, man. we wouldn't have to put in 12-hour days anymore, huh? think of what? and by not competing, we wouldn't lose sales like we just did. uh, think of what? we pool our resources, man. we could advertise on tv. think of what?! both: merger! merger? with him? yeah, what do you think of it, pop? e state of the economy rules out merger as opposed to private enterprise. then, on the other hand, there's a better merger. you see, all i have to do is merge these knuckles with your 32 teeth. now, that's a merger. [indistinct] now, look, we're making the right move, man. you're the guy that told me yourself that i should take a vacation, right? well, now i'll be able to do that, and so will you. me? yes. when we're not here to watch the business, and who's gonna watch julio? pop, julio's completely trustworthy, man. a guy that owns a goat can't be all bad. and besides, he's got a lot of good ideas. he said that if the business works out, we could even sell franchises. you mean like them hamburger places? exactly. well, what're we gonna call it-- junk in the box? sign? what sign? for our new name, man. fuentes and sanford! vaya! uh, shouldn't that be sanford and fuentes? no, man. you see, "f" comes before "s." and besides, fuentes is such a beautiful name. i mean, fuentes... vaya. as opposed to sanford. i mean, fuentes means fountains! nford means without ford. i mean... it also means without teeth. ok, sanford and fuentes. that's settled, man. one name each. 50/50. beautiful. hold tight. 50/50? yeah. uh, that's a little wrong, see, because there's 2 of us, and there's only one of you. it should be 1/2 and 2/3. wait a second. i got just as much junk as you got. yeah, i know, see, but we-- see, there's 2 of us. you get a whole profit to yourself. 1/3 and 2/3. that'd give us the controlling vote to form a power block. and the first thing i'm gonna vote on, is to power you out the block. hey, that's enough. now, would you dig yourself, pop? hey, wait a second, lamont. you shouldn't talk to him like that, man. if you don't mind, julio, this is between me and my pop. oh, yeah, i know it's between you and your father, man. but he's also my partner, man, and i don't think anybody should be yelling at my partner like that. you--you tell him, julio. all right. hey, come on. let's go outside and tear the fence down. great, man. tear the fence down? no, wait a minute. not my fence. not the one i built with your own 2 hands. sorry, mr. sanford, but one business, one yard. oh, elizabeth. oh, honey. did you hear that? i'm coming, darlin'. i lost my son and my business in the same day. it's them puerto ricans. you give 'em a toe, they take a foot. you give 'em a foot, they take an ankle. i'm comin' to join you, honey, john, we're giving you a raise. that's fantastic! but i'm gonna pass. are you ok? honey, you got another present. no thank you, dad. who says no to more? time warner cable internet gives you more of what you and those little data hoggers want. that's 50x faster than dsl. this internet speed is sick. get 50 meg internet starting at $39.99 a month. call now. and with home wifi, the whole family can be online at once. g reat for kids to stream scary shows while not cleaning their room. you'll also get our exclusive 1-hour arrival window, a money-back guarantee, and there's no contract to sign. get 50 meg internet with no data cap starting at $39.99 a month. plus, free installation and access to . would rex pass up more beef stew? i don't think so. hey, wait. that's funny. hey, mr. sanford! fred: yeah? oh, yeah. remember that radiator we sold yesterday? uh-huh. yeah, we got, uh, $20 for that, didn't we? yeah, $20 big ones. 2-0. yeah, well, how come in the sales record here you got it marked 1-0? uh, i always do that. and i expect you to do the same. whenever i sell something for 2-0, i put down 1-0, so that means the tax man gets zero. ha ha ha ha! vaya, man. that's really great. you know, partner... fred-- call me mr. sanford. oh. ok, mr. sanford. i was thinking. you remind me a little of my father, you know that? yeah, he had a good head for business, man. i mean, he knew how to wheel and deal. you know what i mean? yeah, i know what you mean. just like you, mr. sanford. uh, call me fred. oh, thanks, fred. [telephone ringing] oh, i'll get it... fred. julio fuentes, big time tycoon. sanford and fuentes. oh, yeah, yeah. channel 14, right. oh, that's great. yeah, that's right. i talked to you before, yeah. ok, we'll have it for you by next week. thank you very much. good-bye. who was that, ju? hey, man, that was a tv station-- channel 14, man. they said that it's gonna cost us $90 the late movie. hey, beautiful. hey, we can handle that, can't we, pop? sure we can. don't cost us but 45 bucks. hey, hey, wait, wait. you got 2/3 interest, right? so that means 2 of you gotta pay $60. i pay $30. that's 2/3, right? oh, no, no. you got that wrong. see, that's when you're sharing the profits, see. the expenses are different. well, how do you figure that, man? it's just business mathematics. it's the law of the-- of the triangle. see, uh, you have one piece over here, and we have 2 pieces. see, we put our 2 pieces together, and it comes to a point. so shove that point in your ear. hey, pop, would you stop fooling around when we're trying to do business here? hey, he didn't mean nothing by it, man. i told you, man, don't say nasty words to my partner. and i told you that he's my pop first and your partner second. hey, lamont, listen, man-- wait, i don't have to-- [both shouting at once] wait a minute, now. to me. let's settle this thing calmly, like gentlemen. son, punch him in the mouth. you know, this is silly, man. that's right. i don't even know what we're arguing about. i don't either, man. we shouldn't argue like this. i'll tell you, i'll get back to the sales record. ok, ok. i'm gonna get rollo on the phone. rollo? yeah. yeah, see, he's got a camera, and he volunteered to do the tv commercial for us. when the makes the movie. i know what kind of movie he's gonna make. i'm gonna have to undress. no, you won't. i will. i'll have to pose in different positions. you will not. i'll have to wear a mask so my friends won't know me. i can see it now. channel 10 presents fred sanford, starring in deep junk. over here, and you can shoot from there. yeah, that'll be perfect. we'll get everything. hey, pop. i'd like for you to meet haywood jones. he teaches a film class over here in the community. hayw is my pop. how do you do, sir? sir? i like a guy that calls me sir. well, thank you very much. excuse me, haywood. is this the camera here? yes, i want to be sure everything sells. all set, huh? everything is under control, huh? we're--we're all set, all set. and any special instructions? uh, yeah. when you start out, just get the camera tight in on my face. i'm gonna do the commercial, man. it was my idea, remember? yeah, see, i know it was your idea, but, see, julio, i'm the one that took the acting lessons. and i didn't want to bring this up, but you got an accent. who got an accent? i ain't got no accent. yes, you do, julio. no, i don't, man. everybody understands me, right? right, mr. sanford? huh? hey, uh, that's it. let's just get the camera rolling. wait a second, man. let's talk about this. [both shouting at once] llas, hold it. why don't we just ask the senior partner? what do you say, mr. sanford? i say forget them two. i'm doing the commercial. what? you? yeah. because, see, i got something them two don't have. what? becaa beard., so what i got something does that mean?m two don't have. well, people respect a middle-aged guy with a beard. now, take abraham lincoln and moses and-- and wolfman jack. wolfman? wolfman jack? maybe he's got something, lamont. maybe he's right. i know, i know. here, hold these cards here. and hold 'em steady so i can read 'em. now, y'all back up over there a little bit. no, back up out the way. you ready now, mr. sanford? yeah, i'm ready. roll 'em there. would you get back? roll 'em! slate. and action! uh-- oh, hold it. hold it. cut it. what's the matter, mr. sanford? i forgot my props. [all talking at once] wait a second. forget the props. see, while he's gone, get the camera in here. se e, app it from over her. approach over there? fred: that's it. ok? i'm ready now. you all set, mr. sanford? ok, very good. stand by. roll 'em! back out the way. aw, man. please back up out the way. action! hi. you're probably wondering what this junk is doing in the white boys' camp. lamont: wait a minute. hold it. cut. cut. what are you doin'? well, i saw steve allen do this on tv, and he sold a lot of cars. maybe you should just tell it like it is, you know. i mean, straight and simple. ok, ok. ok, stand by. roll 'em! and action! hi, i'm fred. fly me to junk city. wait a minute! cut it. wait a second. man, wait. i don't know. i don't understand what's going on, man. would you stop fooling around? [all talking at once] now, back on out the way. give me some action. uh, as i was saying, my name is fred sanford, and i'm president of sanford and fuentes. [speaking spanish] wait a minute! cut! what's the matter? d he donno help from you! i'm not helping, man. i'm translating for our chicano viewers. go on, fred. you're doing great, man. get out the way. folks, this is our junkyard here-- a giant supermarket of junk. e got more junk than we know what to do with. [speaking spanish] if we lined all this stuff up end to end, it would reach from here to yugoslavia. [speaking spanish] you gotta see it, folks, to believe it. this is the place to make a better dear. [speaking spanish] a fat lip? [speaking spanish] [indistinct] all right, will you keep quiet, please? can i talk, man? can i say something? just back up out the way! folks, we'd like you to come down and see for yourself. we got everything you want right here-- refrigerator, stove, car parts. everything you need, right here. pean so you looking cash or credit. new customers or old. no down paymtr verans. 've been in a gang fight... [speaking spanish] we'll take care of you and contact your insurance right here. if you lose a leg, we'll help you find your leg. here, folks, is just one letter that wce [speaking spanish] uh... dear mr. sanford and fuentes... [speaking spanish] we are satisfied with our junk. many people have commented site junk such as ours. we have always been treating kindly, with respect. and we are very grateful for your swimming pool because our son john has no fear of the water or junk anymore. thank you so-- [all shouting at once] hold it down. see, we had it going nice, too. what do you want? what do i want? look at this! can be in the commercial, too. now, just go ahead and roll 'em, haywood, and you tell 'em who i am. just keep it rolling. uh, friends... i'd like you to meet somebody very close to me. this is my dog spot. [speaking spanish] uh, hello, out there. uh, i'm lamont, and i'm one of the people here. [speaking spanish] both: will you shut up? you shut up. why should i shut up? you don't tell my son to shut up. you shut up. and you shut up and stay out of this. t oft. all right, that's it! hold it! hold it! hold it! i mean, you guys are crazy! you with your dumb tress and your white boy's camp. you with that yo-yo tie. and you with the junkeria! how are you gonna make a commercial? it's not right! that's not right! don't do that. whoa! roll 'em! roll 'em! [all talking at once] 3 days after that commercial, and not one customer yet. you seen anybody? i n't seen nody, julio. but then that commercial wasn't exactly the best one in the world, man. especially when the director started swimming in the pool. ha ha! hey, you know, that's the first time we've laughed together in a week, man. i know. hey, what should we do with this sign? oh, man, i don't know. you keep it. i don't want it. i don't know. what do you want to do with it? let's burn it. yeah, man, right. that's the first thing we agreed on since before the merger. you know, it's too bad that we had to ve partnership to be friends agai i know. you know, i think that's right what they say, man, that friends should not go into business together. that's true, man. i've heard that a lot of times before. dig it. g well, i see you two are talking . that's true, man. i've heard that a lot of times before. and that's the way dig it. it's gonna beell, i see you two from nn, are talking oh, it think i'm gonna get sick. but you do make a lovely couple. tweedley-dee and tweedley-dummy. listen, julio. why don't you gather up your stu ff right. hey, uh, i'll help you sort out your stuff, julio. you don't have to help him sort out nothin'. i know everything that's his. that brown rug over there with the stain on it, and this decorator lamp, and this chair with the back out and this stuff coming out of it, and that muffin pan. and this washboard. now, that's all. now, get your stuff, and take it back where you got it from-- [no audio] attention: are you eligible for medicare? the medicare enrollment deadline is just a few weeks away. changes to medicare plans could impact your healthcare costs. are you getting all the benefits available to you? new plans are now available that could increase your benefits and lower how much you pay out of pocket. to update your coverage- or enroll for the first time -- we'll help you make sure you have the right medicare plan. hi, i'm doctor martin gizzi. it's a new medicare year. that means more changes... and more confusion. here's what i tell my patients... start by asking ... what kind of care is best for your current situation? have there been changes in your health or medications? the key question is: what can you do now, in the coming year? to find the coverage you need, call healthmarkets today. our area may offer better coverage and lower costs. healthmarkets has access to thousands of medicare options from leading insurance companies nationwide. at may..frdom to choose your own doctors. all at a price you can afford. we help find the right plan for you. getowhere fast. healthmarkets takes away the confusion. too often i see my patientshatin they're. make sure you have what you need to get the u mahave to wait another year before enrolling. call a licensed healthmarkets' agent now. call now. call this number by the deadline... and let healthmarkets find the right medicare tidy bowl... hey, pop. hey, man, when is dinner? i'm starving. er to in a minute. oh, great. hey, you got about a dozen books here. no, just about an hour or so. oh, yeah? well, what are we having for dinner? your favorite-- tongue. ohh, outta sight. yeah. now, i'll get it for you as soon as i finish this last book. ok. times ? ? anytime you need a payment ? ? ? anytime ? anytime you need a p you need a frid ? ? good times ? ? anytime you're out from under ? ? not getting hassled, not getting hustled ? ? keeping your head above water ? ? making a wave when you can ? ? temporary layoffs ? ? easy credit rip-off? ? good times ? ? scratching and surviving ? ? good times ? ? hanging in a chow line ? ? good times ? ? ain't we lucky we got 'em? ?

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