that's a lot of column inches. no thanks to you. my piece on eamon byrne's 2 acres has been spiked. [ silent response ] now, i'm up to my eyes so i really have to go. i wish you'd stay; she won't be back for hours. she's dragged ambrose to the church again. well, i'd love to, you know, but... trying to keep you out of each other's way is not exactly good for me. or the baby. it's not my fault she's a pain. nothing's ever your fault, is it, dad? look, it'll be all right. as soon as he's born, we'll all get on like a house on fire. thanks for the chocolates and the flowers. i'll see you tomorrow. mr. quigley. padraig, my ace reporter. this story is the making of you. we sold more copies last week than ever before. uh-huh. you didn't... what? the sweat on the statue, did you -- i'd never take part in a stunt like that. well, somebody's not as squeamish as you are. where's your faith, brian? i mean, why can't it be real? you believe in all that rubbish? what about lourdes? lourdes is different. how? well, lourdes has sun and wine. and an 18-hole golf course. incorrigible as ever. why was my story spiked? what story? eamon byrne selling his land. i told you... i don't want my business paraded over the papers. so you're the buyer. [ horn honks ] no, i'm not. look, i have to go. isn't that -- there's a miracle taking place up the road. go and bloody report it. keep your nose out of my business if you want to keep the job. look, here he is, the moving curate. coffee, assumpta. that was a fighting speech, father. woe unto ye. haven't heard that since the redempterists. well, a sweating statue. well, simple people, simple faith. simple isn't the same as stupid, assumpta. so where does simple end and stupid start? i mean, we're asked -- no, you ask us to believe a whole load of things that on the face of it are just as incredible as -- i'll tell you where stupid starts. stupid starts with people believing a statue that doesn't move or speak or even bleed, that sweats. that's a bit rich coming from you, considering what you claim to do on a daily basis on the altar. i do not need this right now. assumpta, that's his vocation you just kneed in the groin. shut up, brendan. eamon! padraig. any news? well, the statue has started sweating again. well, that is a miracle. it's bloody freezing. eamon... i came to talk to you about that land that you sold... to quigley. you found out. he swore me to secrecy. i think quigley's up to something. now, why those two particular acres? well, it's next to ten of his. and who else owns land around there? there's 30 acres adjoining quigley's that belongs to bella mooney. she moved to england a lifetime ago. it's let to -- who lets it to her? creightons, in cilldargan. i think -- now, i can't be sure. no, thank you, eamon. you are a mine of information. father, you were looking for me? ambrose, yeah. look, i'm sorry to call you up. come inside; take a seat. it's the statue. i heard, it's sweating again. sweating? it's not sweating, ambrose. so you don't think it's a miracle? of course, it's not a... miracle. someone's tampering with it. smearing it with stuff to make it look like sweat. i'm not sure if smearing a statue with an unknown substance is covered specifically in any part of the criminal code. if someone broke a lock, now, that would be trespass. trespass is not what i'm on about, ambrose. i'm on about becoming paranoid and suspicious and that's no way for a priest to be. right. i look around and everywhere i look, i see someone who stands to gain from this thing. like who? padraig. i wish this hadn't happened. padraig? the cilldargan democrat is selling like hotcakes, and he's just joined. right. anyone else? there's those two in the chip van, liam and donal. kathleen, she was the first to show it to me. assumpta? assumpta. assumpta's raking it in down there. well, yeah. but you don't really think assumpta'd be up to this kind of thing? no. no. we'd better find out who is doing it, otherwise everyone will be suspected by the priest, and you're right, that won't be good for the priest... or for the village. so what do we do? if someone wants this miracle to continue, they've got to get to the statue and put more... sweat on, so we lie in wait and apprehend him or her. tonight? tonight. i'll come about 10:00. i'm taking niamh out first. a little dinner for two. mammy's looking after her at the moment. niamh loves that, of course. all that attention. exactly. but tonight there's gonna be just the two of us. i'd like the kung po chicken with pickled cabbage. ahem. mammy. when i was breast feeding him, if i so much as looked at a cabbage, he had the most terrible wind. mammy. no, i think you should bring her a nice piece of poached fish. haddock if you have it. another mega night, donal, huh? donal? ambrose, where are you? ah, it's freezing. it's 2 a.m. nobody's gonna come here tonight. [ thumping ] put out the light, father, someone's coming. got him. torch. let's have a look at you. oh, no. oh, god. i might have guessed. holmes and watson. or is it laurel and hardy? i'm so sorry, father macanally. we were looking for the hoaxer. lying in wait. lying in wait were you? well, i've had three separate phone calls. that there was lights flashing, that there were people walking around, that there was a son et lumiere going on in the chapel at ballykissangel. and no sign of a curate or a gard to investigate. so... it wasn't going to be a very successful ambush, was it? no, possibly not. we were flashing the lights as a signal. it gets surprisingly lonely in the dark. surprisingly freezing as well. i suggest we put an end to this ridiculous charade and try and catch up on what remains of a night's sleep. so brian quigley is bidding on these 20 acres? yes, look, i know you didn't say it was brian quigley. the bidder formerly known as quigley. no, he hasn't changed his name. that was a joke, mr. creighton. no, i've never been known as quigley. look... look, thanks very much for your help. well, he's a little bit away yet, niamh. or she. and your blood pressure's right down, which is always good news. right, niamh, porridge time. oh, hello, dr. ryan. mrs. egan. i'm attending to niamh here, mrs. egan. oh, certainly. of course. [ beeping ] oh, your blood pressure's gone up. is there something i should know about, niamh? right. then we proceed. if 15,000 is the best you can do for the 10 acres, we go ahead. i wish now i'd done the whole deal meself. i've done better with eamon byrne's acres. bit of a bargain there really. what? go away, i'm busy. what the hell are you doing here? i told you to mind your own business. can you tell me about this deal? why do you want 20 acres up here, and why have you applied for access roads there and there? listen, o'kelly, i build houses. i'm a useful person to the community unlike some. i'm allowed to buy land wherever i like. i'm allowed to ask questions on behalf of the media. not on my time, you're not. you're fired. and get off my land! right. okay. coping with despair. [ ♪ singing ] [ ♪ singing ] [ ♪ organ playing ] [ ♪ singing ] father, what is going on? i didn't organise this. i did. when? i must have neglected to inform you. i don't believe you. this is my church. god's church. my parish. father, if you can't beat them, join them. there was going to be a crowd in any case. so i thought it right to channel this idle curiosity to proper devotion. devotion? someone is trespassing here in the dead of night and putting stuff on that statue and you -- but we don't know that, do we? we don't know what? that someone is doing it. i was in the church myself, remember, last night. i didn't see anybody. are you suggesting that there really is a miracle going on here? oh, yes. yes, father. you can't be serious. look around you, father. there are miracles going on all over the place. little ones... but miracles, just the same. when did you last see malachy murray in church? or the rasher greaney? i'll have to ask him to sign the visitors book. now, if you'll excuse me, father. father clifford. peter. i just wanted to say i'm sorry for what i said in the pub. it's all right. no, no, i had no right to say something that cuts to the heart of what you believe in. you were right though. right? see, when i see this side of it, you know, of what i do. moving statues, idolatry and ignorance. you know, i sometimes think there is a very fine line here. don't say that. why not? it's how i feel. it's how you feel, isn't it? it doesn't matter how i feel. having a belief is a different matter. right at this moment, i'm not sure what i believe in. people. me. you. excuse me. i'd forgotten this stuff while i was away. i thought we were over it. beanfeast, beanfeast. wouldn't be surprised if father mac hadn't thought this one up himself. i'd say the collection boxes are overflowing, know what i mean? [ brian ] ah, padraig. mr. quigley. how's unemployment treating you? wouldn't know actually. i'm a land agent now. in fact, you're dealing with a client of mine. what are you talking about? client? byrne... eamon byrne. we'll be in to see you tomorrow. hello, doctor. ambrose, glad you could call 'round. nothing serious i hope, dr. ryan. no, no. it's about your mother, actually. oh... lord. what's she done now? she's not helping niamh's blood pressure at the moment. i know it, doctor. she means well, but... right, i'll talk to her. it's too late for talk. we need action here, i'm afraid, ambrose. action? what kind of action? banishment. you must put her in a car and take her back home today. talking wouldn't do, no? i'm sorry this took so long. i had my suspicions, but with such obvious implications in the results, i wanted to be sure. the substance on the brow of the statue is an aggregation of globules of stearic polyunsaturates. chip fat! you put chip fat on the statue! you big eejit. it was meant to be washing-up liquid. never mind what it was meant to be! you broke into the church, into the house of god, and desecrated a statue with chip fat. i could have you arrested. you got the bottles mixed up. i never. well, maybe i did. and it's not the first time, is it? there was that abomination with the statue down by your so-called gold mine. i should've stopped that, but didn't think i had the right. and that was awful. appalling. why are you getting so hot under the collar for? they're only statues. it's not as if we desecrated the altar. but you mocked the faith of people who do believe. and you led on the gullible. i thought that was the name of the game. well, it's not the name of the game for me! look, statues are there for people -- what about father macanally? yeah, he'd no problem taking a few shillings. well, that's a very complex theological and philosophical point about a greater good coming from a lesser evil. he didn't break into a church and tamper with a statue. he would have if he'd thought of it first. i'm sorry, father, we shouldn't have done it. father, look, what you were saying about the greater good. i mean, think about it. donal's got sue ellen. the people of ballykissangel have got a fine new food outlet. and maybe we can give you a complimentary meal to make up. sue ellen. waitress! yeah? you're not getting me. i've wiped the statue clean. there will be no more sweat, no more mockery, and no more cynicism. your tacky little game is up. but, father -- don't, liam. just don't. so what now? is the sky going to fall on us? is lightning going to strike us down? excuse me. who's the owner of this vehicle? i am. what can i do for you? you can let me in that yoke, for a start. excuse me? i'm from the department of health. oh. you want how much? 3000. for the lot? per acre. eamon, we had a deal. that's what i'll pay and not a penny more. my agent, mr. quigley. i'd love to sell it to you cheap, but he's a hard man. well, i'm damned if i'm gonna be held to ransom by a scarecrow and a failed news hound. take it or leave it. i'll see you in hell first. fine so. come on, eamon. come back here. you were great. i know it was hard sending her away at a time when the baby's on her mind. it's only till this one's safely delivered. she can baby-sit all she likes after that. but... blood pressure is blood pressure. why are we...? you know, i've never loved anyone or anything as much as i love you, niamh egan. i just wanted to say that before any... any rivals came on the scene. you are a good man. and a sexy one, too. you're not allowed to say that to a member of the garda siochana. [ gasping ] oh, my god. i think it's started, ambrose. it has started. hold on. it's coming really fast, ambrose. we're nearly at johnstown. that's miles from the hospital. i won't make it! ambulance department, garda egan here. i need an ambulance to meet me on the johnstown road. i've a woman giving birth beside me here in the car. yes, i do. as it happens, it's my wife. well, thanks, johnny. i'll pass that on... over. and hurry up... over. the lads in civil defence said congratulations. aaahhhh!!! oh, god. interesting times we live in. the miracle's over, the crowds are gone, and donal and liam are out of business. i wonder, was it corn oil or sunflower oil... on the statue? i don't know. gave donal and liam a tidy roasting anyway. it's all right, love. okay, okay, just take it easy. that was the worst one so far, ambrose. i know, love. remember just, just keep breathing. i am breathing. remember the classes. how would you know? you fainted at that bit. help me. i'm frightened. it'll be okay. i'm here. ah, the serenity of a good pub. what has you so happy? i've retired and my fortune is made. a fortune? thought you were fired. i was. but things turned out for the best. i'm supplying father clifford with a new car, well, newish. but what's best of all, i have just separated quigley from a substantial wad of cash. my god. not many people have experienced that and lived to tell the tale. true... and this... is how it was done. would you like a read? i'd skip the first few chapters go straight to the one on getting your own back. okay, breathe. that's it. good, niamh. breathe. push. push... good. i, i can see the head. go on, go on, push. i can see -- oh! oh, my god. [ baby crying ] oh! it's a boy, niamh. it's a boy. it's a boy, niamh. a son. [ siren wailing in distane ] captions by: midwest captioning des moines, iowa we've visited some stunning locations over the last 18 months, but one that stood out particularly for me was hertford college, oxford, a place where i spent four very happy years as a student, and we were lucky enough to find enough wonderful finds there to have plenty for two shows, so tonight i bring you hertford college, take two. ( theme music playing ) ( classical music playing ) oxford's home to the morris minor, the four-minute mile and the oldest english-speaking university in the world, and for me, it's a bit of a trip down memory lane. for four years, i studied languages at hertford college, which appeared as a hall of residence in the 13th century along with oxford's oldest colleges. now there are 39 of them, with 20,000 students. you have more libraries at their page-turning fingertips than any other city in the uk, over 100 of them. ( bicycle bell rings ) the most famous library is the bodleian, which stores around 8 million books on 120 miles of shelving. who could be in oxford without spending some time on the river? i used to love it. this was the scene that inspired lewis carroll's alice through the looking glass, and with views like this, small wonder that oxford sparked the imagination of many of its former students. they've written about the adventures of hobbits, chronicles of narnia. they in turn spawned a movie and tv industry, from the golden compass and harry potter to james bond and brideshead revisited... which was filmed at my old home, hertford college, where i was a student during the eighties. and this quad and the rooms around it were the setting and inspiration for the author, hertford old boy evelyn waugh. today the people of oxford have made their way to hertford college by all sorts of cars, bikes, possibly boats, to join our slow and snaking trains to the experts. we welcome them all to the antiques roadshow. there's something worryingly odd about these dishes. and while i try and work out what it is, tell me where you got them from. these were bought recently at a car-boot sale in northumbria, and they were £5 each. what do you think you bought? do you know i'm not sure? any idea? they stood out because of their size and because of the colors in them, but i don't know much about them at all. well, i mean, what we have here are delft dishes, and delft dishes shouldn't look like this. it's the rims that is extraordinary. i mean, looking around, feeling the edge of this dish, there's barely a blemish on it. no. it's not chipped and broken. and delft is very soft pottery made to look like the chinese porcelain, but copied in holland, copied in england, with a thick tin glaze that chips off and breaks very easily, and so they should have chips all the way around there, but it actually looks remarkably clean and new. yes. and so when you see these things at car-boot sales, the tendency is to assume, well, they can't be that old. no. but holding here, i've just-- i mean, it's fine. there's nothing wrong with it. it's just survived in remarkably good condition. oh, good. i mean, this dish was made in london. it was made in about 1780s... right. gosh. so back in the 18th century. yeah. and, yes, well, it looks brand new, doesn't it? it looks extraordinary. a pretend chinaman. he's not really a chinaman. he's a lambeth chinaman. that's where he was made, and, well, see, he's sitting in a chinese-style landscape painted in the bold colors of london delft. it's very bright red, and the use of the blue with these little scratched-in lines, such a typical feature, especially of the lambeth delftware. yes. so not just one for £5, but another one, also £5. yes, also £5. and another-- well, actually, this is a little bit more convincing, i suppose, because you got one chip there. that's not bad, is it? no. i mean, i think they're beautiful. i don't mind the chips at all. i think it sort of adds a bit to them. it shows their age a bit more. it's--it's a nice design, really. there's a bird flying there, a rather comical bird. the influence here is chinese porcelain from the early 18th century, and that's what this was imitating. this one-- actually this one, i don't think is a lambeth one. i think this looks more bristol. bristol, right. delft was made in many places, and hard to say just where, but this is even older. this one is from 1740. oh, my good... so... i didn't realize at all. you got some lovely dishes for £5 each. i'll have to find out where this boot sale is, if you can buy these. but, i mean, they're worth more than that. that one is worth £300, 400. right. gosh. heh heh. that's a good-- that's a good return, yes. and this one, older, even more, say £500, 600. oh, that's brilliant. i'm really pleased, yes. that's great. so keep hunting for more. oh, i will do. thank you. now it strikes me that you could well be a collector of art deco bronzes. would i be right? no, i'm afraid not, no. they came from my nam. she used to keep them in a cabinet, and then, when she died, my aunt had all the china, and my mum just had these three figurines. did she? yes. that could have been quite a wise move. oh, really? but from the point of view of sculpture, let me just say that, from 100 yards, i recognized these as being by a man called josef lorenzl. and he was quite prolific, and he did bronzes of all sizes. these are relatively small for josef. i always refer to him as legs lorenzl, because his girls have got such fabulous long legs. but looking at them, they're pure sort of 1925. when i say art deco, these girls belong to that-- an age of keeping fit above anything else. if you think about the edwardian age, quite stuffy, and then the 1920s arrive, and everybody wants to keep young and beautiful. and what i find endearing about lorenzl, he's a good starter sculptor. in other words, he's not overly expensive, 'cause art deco figurines can fetch quite often huge amounts. so just looking at, say, this little figurine with the girl in the center, there is a signature, but it's very, very small. and all it actually says is l-o-r, because there wasn't enough room to put the rest on there. to be honest with you, you really don't need a signature, because his style is so distinctive. value? okay. your small, little figurine, she's gonna be worth in the region of around about £300 to 400, maybe a little bit more on a good day. this lady over here who's a little bit larger is going to be worth £400 to 600. oh, goodness. yes. and this girl over here who's obviously not shy, with her arms raised in gay abandon, you might say, she's going to be worth in the region of £500 to 700. oh, goodness me. now i think it safe to say your mother almost certainly came off best by leaving the crockery and taking these three ladies in oxford. she did. thank you. so what is this oxfam walk business? well, i was 16 years old near 40 years ago... oh, you mustn't tell everybody. and went on the first charity walk for oxfam. and at the same time, my father was filming at pinewood studios, a film called anne of a thousand days. my father was director of photography on the film, arthur ibbetson. right. and he took my sponsor form in, and he asked the technicians to fill it in. and then, lo and behold, he came home with richard burton and elizabeth taylor also having filled it. there it is, richard burton. and then further down, he also managed to persuade richard harris. oh, is that richard harris? good heavens. so he sponsored me as well. and then after the walk, i had to go and collect this sponsor money, and... "burton and liz owe julie £28". in the local watford observer. well, that was an awful lot of money, really. it was, but the total was about £140 in the end, which was a lot of money in those days. good heavens. good heavens. and then, yes, i went and got my money from mr. burton, who very kindly posed for a photograph and signed, "to julie, with best wishes, despite your blisters, richard burton." which were significant. i reckon that would sell for about between £150 and 200. but i also found in your collection this of the beatles signed. now, how did you get that? well, my father's cameraman at the time was working on the beatles film. yes. i think it was a hard day's night, and we all went to watch him filming at one of the london theaters, the beatles actually performing, so we met them, my sister and i, and they very kindly signed a postcard. but i was much younger then. i was only about 12 or 13 then. and, yes, we came away with this. so you actually saw them sign it? yes. and it was signed "to julie, love, from the beatles," so i feel very honored that it's actually personalized. i think it's splendid, and it's got to be somewhere in the region of £2,000. that's better. well, it's in our family, so it's a bit of heritage from my dad. 20 years ago, i worked for minton in stoke-on-trent, and, at that point, i did a lot of work around their history, and therefore i know this is a minton figure and although i've never seen that particular model, i saw it in a patent book and didn't actually know it existed. it was modeled by a chap called richard bradbury, probably 1930s. but clearly all this seems to relate to it. yes. help me. help me get there. my grandmother and grandfather worked for minton. my grandfather used to do a lot of work for the bosses of minton, and they knew he'd got a little girl of about three or four, and they needed a model. right. and they asked if she would model for it, which she did, and she was given this suit and also the figure for doing the modeling. so this is your mother? that's my mother, yes. good heavens. i think it's a wonderful story, because one sees the finished product often. i mean, i'm familiar with things like this, but it never occurs to you that there was a human start. i just think the modeler sits there, works away, does what he does. but to actually say, "well, i need a four-year-old child, "you've got one. that'll do. come here. get these clothes on. stand still." and off i go. i think that's wonderful. now, has it been worn since? it's been worn by myself and also my three children. now do we have any evidence? yes. ah! there's a picture of me, unfortunately. unfortunately? it's wonderful. i was probably about a little bit older than her there. so this is butlins. that's butlins, yes. so you were in the dressing up competition? yes. did you win? i can't remember. i mean, you probably had the best costume of anybody there. well, probably, yeah. the only professionally made costume. you were that jester. yes. right. i think it's a lovely story, 'cause it really fills out the background to how figures were made. a figure like that by bradbury is still gonna be £250, 300. what's the costume worth? well, it's priceless, 'cause it's the whole story. it just brings your family to life in a wonderful way. yeah. thank you. thank you very much. so tell me, is this a family member? no, no. we, um-- i saw it in an antiques center about three years ago, but i just fell in love with him. he's just such--he's got such a lovely face. your eyes met across a crowded room. yes. yes. ah heh heh. just sort of friendly, laughing eyes. and when you took him home, was he framed like this, or... no, no. when we bought it, it did have a very narrow stainless-steel surround. it was about an inch wide, but it just didn't do justice to the painting at all, so we had it reframed. and then we noticed that on the back there was a complement slip... right. from fort dunlop. so i did a bit of investigation work on the internet and came up and found that it was actually john dunlop, who invented the tires. i was quite pleased, really... absolutely. to find that it was--you know, he was somebody, not just a victorian old gentleman as it had on the ticket in the antique center. well, of course, john dunlop invented, as you say, the pneumatic tire, which was patented in 1888 and was really, i suppose, one of the most important people in the automotive industry ever. and he was obviously a very nice chap, and it's lovely to have a picture like this. and in retirement, he went to ireland, and, well, we know from a dates point of view that this was painted there, because by 1907, he was in northern ireland. but the artist's name is a chap called lafayette. lafayette is actually the pseudonym of an irish artist called john scott lauder. so, you know, it is an irish picture painted in northern ireland in his retirement as a wealthy old man. in cold blood, i would imagine that a picture like this at auction, without being able to think of a great institution or a big automotive company to sell it to, would make just, you know, mid to high hundreds, so it's still a jolly good turn on your £80. but i think, if one could, you know, find an automotive institution that would like a portrait of somebody as great as he was, i think you might find it would make even more. yes. we shan't be parting with him, i don't think. i think he's quite happy with us. yeah, i'm sure he is. so you've been on the bottle, i see. looks like it. they're a little older than that, aren't they? they are. so tell me how you got hold of them. yes. they were given to me as a gift. i did some work for an antique dealer. i was a collector of bottles early in the days, and i bought from him, and he was very pleased with all the work, and he said, "here's a very special present for you. look after them. i think you will find them quite valuable at the end of the day." and i managed to get them out of the attic last night after 25 years. the wine bottle is a particular collecting area. it evokes, you know, wine history, and the people who collect them tend to be wine lovers, and these date from a similar period. you can--you can date wine bottles quite easily through the progression of their shape, and this cylinder shape came in in about 1780, and it was one of the great breakthroughs in packaging history. if you--i mean, you know, the tetra brik, you know, that we get our milk from, i mean, that's an important breakthrough in packaging history. but this bottle has effectively remained the same ever since. it's been stretched a little, and here's the bordeaux, the modern bordeaux bottle. you go in to any wine merchant today, and you're gonna be able to find bottles of this shape. the thing that's amazing about it, that differentiated it from its predecessors, is that you could lay it down. right. every bottle before that, you couldn't-- you'd have to tilt it or stand it upright. this one, because it's a cylinder shape, you could lay down your wine, and that still remains with us today. so in a way, this is the perfect bottle. it's never been bettered. now, most of these date from the late 18th century. there's one that's different. all of these are made in a dip mold. you dipped the glass into a mold, you blew into a baked-bean tin, a glorified baked-bean tin, and you pulled it out, and you've got your shape. at the top of this bottle, there is a slight ridge around there which is the top of the mold. you can see it. it's plainly there. the one that's different here is this one. now, that has some lettering on it, and it says, "patent," oh, really. yes. and... i didn't notice that. hmm. and it says, "ricketts patent," and in 1821, ricketts of bristol, a bottle works in bristol, invented a machine which got rid of the handmade element of bottle-making, and that was the next breakthrough. so we had the most important bottle in glassmaking, in wine history really here bettered by this breakthrough here. breakthrough there. the seals are interesting in that they link to owners. i believe-- i've been told, that some of these are oxford college bottles. i can definitely say to you they definitely are oxford university, but i don't know which college. this boosts their value. i mean, you'd need an oxford historian to tell you what they are. i mean, we're talking probably £100 each for them. the one that is actually worth a bit more is the ricketts one, because it is quite unusual to have the full patent on the shoulder and beneath it, and so we're talking about a couple of hundred quid for that one. really? isn't that interesting? but what you've got here is a little time capsule in bottle-making history, and as a bottle collector, you're on the button. it's great. lovely. lovely. well done. that's really nice. so this is the catalog description of it. i like-- so, yes, it was 4,500, and you paid-- which price did you pay? 750. hmm. was that too much? well, we'll see. we'll come to that in a minute. now we know clearly what it is anyway, dieppe ivory mirror. dieppe is a natural harbor on the north coast of france not that far from le havre on the entrance to the seine, so you've got all the ships coming from the french east indies and the west indies all coming back towards paris, bringing their wares in. and this school of carving started in dieppe, and it's a fantastic part of social history of france. started carving in the 17th century. this very definitely is ivory. is it? i thought some of it might be bone. well, you do see bone, and rather unfortunately, historically they did use human bone sometimes. oh, did they? all right. yes. the dieppe school still flourishes, and in the 19th century, i think, this was when this was made. so have you got the missing lion from here? no, i've never had it. does he come out, or... he does come out usually. stuck in--all right. well, interesting enough, i mean, i think that if i was keeping this, which you clearly are and treasuring it, i would get that remade. and i don't think it would be difficult to get done in dieppe. in dieppe. oh, right. so as far as i'm aware, it's still going, the school of carving there for 300 years or more, and i'm pretty sure you can either send it over there, or why not take a boat trip? why not, yes? i'll do that. and then go and have a little holiday in dieppe and see if you can get someone to do it. so you bought it in the seventies for that ringed price of £750. yes. what would you pay for it today? well, i doubt i'd buy it today. ah. now, that's an interesting point. why not? you don't like it? yes, i do like it, but it's just it wouldn't be on my list of priorities, no. okay. well, if you sold it today, i think you would expect to sell it at auction for between about £2,000 and 2,500, something like that. yes, yes. that's very nice, isn't it? with or without your lion. yes. so i'll have the lion made just to complete the picture. i think so, yeah. it's a wacky piece of furniture, but it's fun. yes, yes, it's wacky. i've just been given two items made by a rather interesting designer, so i'm off to see our ceramics experts to see what they make of them. hello, you two. hi. hello. i've got two things for you to look at. oh, yes. now what do you make of these? ooh, well, i like blue and white for a start-off. um, they're not very old. i don't know what-- what you know. oh, that's-- that is! well, it's not-- well, the shape is. the shape is--is 17th century blanc de chine from china. right, but what you do you think about the artist? the decoration is modern. he's imitating transfer printing by hand painting. but that shape-- what a strange thing to do, forging blanc. i know that shape is in the ashmolean round the corner from here. yeah. and it's--because worcester used it. worcester used that shape. worcester used it. do you know you're almost on the right track? these are in fact done by an esteemed colleague of yours. no. yes. really? we don't have any esteemed colleagues. now you're talking about yourself there. we're both here. well, i'm going to go to talk to him to find out a little bit more about them. gentlemen, thank you very much. okay, thank you. it must be pretty daunting living with 100 or so faces of eminent victorians looking down upon you every day. um, i've got used to it. ( laughs ) my mother couldn't stand it. could she not? no. no. so was it your mother's, then? no, it belonged to my grandfather, her father actually. how did he come by it? he bought it for 2 and 6 when they were cleaning out the jockey club, pre-war. did he buy it because he liked it? no, he actually bought it for the glass to make a cold frame with. he bought it for the glass. so where's the glass now incidentally? i broke it on the way here, put my knee through it. nice timing. nice timing. let's talk about the image, though, because it represents all the eminent members of the jockey club, and the date is written at the bottom, 1878. but it's not just faces of the members. around this roundel in the middle are what look like genuine watercolors of scenes of racing. have you had a good look at those? yes, yeah. they're done in watercolor and gouache, watercolor being transparent, gouache being the rather more obvious whitey, flaky bits on top. and they're signed by john sturgess, who was a reasonably eminent horse painter often illustrated in the magazines of the day. so you've got an amalgam here of art and photography. about this time, photography was taking over, so in a sense, it's a rather poignant reminder of just where art was going. it's being pushed out on the edges. but the interesting thing is that although photography could capture people and could photograph horses, art had yet to realize that horses don't look like rocking horses when they ride like that. and it's an interesting sort of transitional point. just imagine how difficult it would have been for this photographer to have gone around, photographed all of these, worked out the head shots, worked out who to have in profile, worked out who were the key guys in the middle. it was really quite a piece of craft. so although photography, in some sense, this is seen as a lesser art form, this is a real virtuoso example of the medium. so he bought it for 2 and 6. 12 1/2 p. so what do you think it's worth now? no idea whatsoever. well, i would be comfortable valuing it around about £3,000. more than--more than 12 1/2 p, isn't it? so it's a good investment. a good investment. well, i take one look at this, and there's only one continent you can possibly think of, and that's africa. and here we are just getting ready to, you know, do the recording, and i have to confess i've no idea what it's called. and then who should appear but this gentleman here. oh, i have no idea who he is, but he's come to see this. roadshows can be a bit like that. because he tells me-- you've seen it in rhodesia? i was born and bred in rhodesia, which is now zimbabwe. and that is the african mbiria, m-b-i-r-i-a, which is played with thumbs. to make music. to make the sounds, yes. the buttons are melted to amplify the sound of the thumbs. and these--all these sections here are made out of flattened nails, aren't they? that's right, and the length of them is actually to give specific sounds. do you want me to--to sound it? yeah, yeah. why not? because this is how it was played. ( playing music ) fantastic. thank you so much. you've informed-- given me information, because this wasbrought back 12. but so, what exactly was the story? what's your connection with africa? my father-in-law, because he prospected for gold there at the same time as cecil rhodes. and did their paths cross in any way? yes, yes, they-- they walked together. they camped. and my father-in-law always carried a bible, eh, because nobody would ever read the bible, and they--he cut a hole in the bible and so his precious things were kept in there inside. so he wasn't necessarily a religious man. no, no, no, no, no. no. no. and he also kept his toothbrush in there, which was only a piece of stick that he shredded the ends of, and on the campfire, he used to put the stick, he said, right into the ot and clean his teeth, and his teeth were perfect, white, beautiful teeth. and how does the bronze monkey fit into the picture then? well, he carried this on his back. now, it doesn't look very big, and we thought it was bronze, but we're still not sure, because it weighs nearly a stone in weight. it really is very, very heavy. it's my doorstop to keep my kitchen door open. but it's a horrible-looking thing. it frightened my kids to death when they crawled. but we want to know what it'sade of, because it's so heavy. well, i think what you normally associate with bronze is the european bronzes that you see, many of which are actually hollowed out, and so they're not as heavy as a solid lump of bronze like this would be. do you have any idea of what this meant to him? why did he carry it with him? well, he said it came from the king solomon's mines, but he must have thought a lot of it to carry on his back. it's so heavy. this would be like having several bricks in your backpack... oh, definitely. as you walk the length ofthe africa. it must have had some huge significance for him. but i'm afraid to say, that, you know, its value is almost nothing. i mean, it's worth probably, you know, maybe £100. but it's not finely made. it's not beautifully-- no, no, no, no, hideous-looking thing. anyway, it's the-- but we were hoping you were gonna say it was gold, you see. so that's why i brought it, just in case. but if not, well, it can still go and be my doorstop in the kitchen. yes, yes. well, it's just completely baffling, isn't it? and then i suppose the mbiria, what would the commercial value if you were to buy something like this? and i don't suppose they're ever for sale, because the idea is you make them yourself, isn't it? it's very difficult to put a price to it, because they were made traditionally for entertainment. you never get these on the market. no, i've never seen it. this is very unusual here. and they stay within a family, do they? they stay within a family, and there are people who are specialized in playing the mbiria. absolutely revealing on every count. exactly. thank you very much for bringing it in, and thank you for adding all the tremendous knowledge to everything we've said. thank you. thank you. well, i can now reveal that the designer behind these pieces is none other than john sandon. so, john, this is a bit of a surprise. how long have you been doing this? well, all my life, i think, i've had an interest in porcelain really inherited from my dad. when i was a schoolboy, dad was the curator at the royal worcester porcelain factory, and so i spent more time with him on the porcelain works than i ever did at school and learning about how porcelain was made. i know for henry, his big thing is worcester, and you've kind of swung away from worcester primarily into other interests as well, haven't you? yes. well, yes, i left school at 16 to go into the world of fine-art auctions, and so i've learned a bit more than just worcester. i discovered there's wonderful porcelain made at meissen and the chinese and italian, anywhere. so tell me about these. i mean, what are your influences, and what brought you to this? well, these started me off when i was 12 years old. dad found a little cupboard in the factory at worcester containing old molds from the 1920s, and so i had a go at casting from those molds. the potters at worcester let me watch them work and taught me about all the skills of porcelain potting, throwing, painting. that must have been an amazing education. it was great, because they were such skilled men and women, too. i would watch them work for hours, and they made it look so easy. when i tried it, i tried to cast this horse, and it kept going wrong. i had ten attempts, and they all split off or fell apart in my hands. but then i got one right, just the right thickness, and it's now beautifully cast. i've glazed it, and i fired it. and so for me, as a little boy, when it came out of the kiln... oh, it must have been great. it must have been very exciting. it got me hooked on porcelain. it really did. and what about these? these aren't things that you've done, are they? no? they taught me interesting blue and whites, because--

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