Dicky from hollywood its Jimmy Kimmel Live after the oscars tonight ben affleck, tracy morgan, henry cavill, jesse isenberg, j. K. Simmons, will arnett, nathan lane, matthew broderick, mike tyson, and less. Plus we go live to the governors ball. With cleto and the cletones. And now lights, camera, action heres jimmy kimmel [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thank you. I was not expecting it. Thank you. Im jimmy. Thanks for watching. Thanks for staying up. I know its late for a sunday night but welcome to our 11th annual after the oscars special. The statues have been handed out, the speeches have been spoken, and once again i was not invited to any of the after parties so here we are together. [ cheers and applause ] making the best of it. It was a night of controversy. It was a night of awareness. It was a night of a lot of uncomfortable famous white people trying to make sure they clapped when the cameras were on them. As you know there were no black nominees in the acting categories. Tonights oscar hopefuls were whiter than the line to buy tshirts at a Michael Bolton concert. The only way a black or hispanic or asian actor was going to win an oscar was if they let steve harvey announce the winner and that didnt happen. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy the show went mostly as expected, there werent a ton of surprises. The Biggest Surprise was learning theres actually a movie called the 100 year old man who climbed out the window and disappeared. The sound cut out on one of the guys who won best sound design. True. I think the person the kid who introduced best short was short. So that was good. And the woman who won best costume design showed up dressed like this. This is the second oscar and tenth nomination for jenny bevin. Who took home her first oscar in this category for a room with a view. Jimmy she looked like sammy hagar in sturgis. I guess she doesnt take her work home with her. Spotlight won best picture. Thats a little bit of a surprise. Brie larson won best actress. [ cheers and applause ] Leonardo Dicaprio won best actor. Leo had been nominated six times. Until tonight he never won but everyone kept saying, this is his year. And it was. But you know, the man has had sex with a different victorias secret model every night of ev from 1991 on has been his year. And it was a special night whether youre a fan of movies, movie stars, or the Ryan Seacrest mens wear collection. We still have many great moments in store for you. Ben affleck is here. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy from batman v. Superman. Hes batman. Yesterday was bens 4yearold sons Birthday Party and guess what costume his son made him wear to entertain the kids at the party. Thats right. Well find out how that went. Its not all glamorous, this hollywood stuff. One day youre on the red carpet, next day 15 preschoolers are beating you with pinata sticks. Right now the stars are heading to the governors ball, the postoscars party across the street. Our man guillermo is there standing by live via our big cisco screen. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy well get go to him now, guillermo, whats it like, are there any big stars around . Yes, theres a lot of the big stars around here. Beautiful women too. Jimmy why dont you have any of them . Oh. They at the bar right now. Jimmy theyre at the bar, all right. See who you can rustle up for us and well check back later. How many drinks have you had . About 40 shots of tequila. Jimmy okay, great. Perfect. So hes ready to go. Thats actually less than he typically has on a sunday night. Thank you, guillermo. Well check back in with you later at the governors ball. One of the most critically acclaimed movies of the year this year that was not nominated for best picture was creed. The story of rocky balboa training the son of one of his great idols. Stallone was nominated for an oscar. It would not be a movie without a sequel. The World Premiere trailer for the muchanticipated followup to creed. I dont have a choice this is my one shot. I was born to do this. Cant nobody stop me you got no business being here. Are all these other fighters, theyre fighting for their lives. Look at you. Eating a hero sandwich. Its a hoagie get the hell out of my gym look at this. Your first fight with clubber. You got caught with a right uppercut. Youre sounding like a dolphin with an itchy blow hole. Hee Hee Hee Hee HeeHee Hee Hee HeeHee Hee Hee Hee hee hee how do you know so much about that fight . That was my pops. Junior. Thats what maury povich told us. I need you to train me. Train you to do what . What do you think im talking about, fool, to fight. You dont look like a fighter. I been fighting my whole life. Fighting the people who said i couldnt f ha ha ha fighting my demons. Hey, baby. Fighting that lady in the wendys drivethrough because she wouldnt give me extra dipping sauce. Wheres my dipping sauce . All i asked for was extra Honey Mustard aahhh ill teach you to fight, kid. Lets get some shorts on you because we got work to do. Come on. All i asked for was extra Honey Mustard. Come on come on now oohh one. Come on, chicken, come over here boxing isnt just about strength and conditioning. Its about heart. Brains. And fowls and wings over, under, round and th youre not focusing. Youve got to focus. Beat that meat like you mean it harder harder youve got to kill him give it to him what the hell are you doing . Whoa, whoa, whoa hey, hey, no no no got it . Youve got it. Youve got it [ cheers and applause ] its the fight nobody thought would happen. This is a fight nobody thought should happen. This is a disgrace to the sport of boxing. But i cant wait to see it. This is our last round, you need this one. I keep thinking its gum. Focus, kid, you need your edge out there rrrow hey, get me some. Honey mustard, you remembered thats right. Now go get him. Clubber. That was clubber. I know, i know. Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah. Love you so much. I got hair in my teeth. Go get him theres the bell, its fight time. Pop . Quit your jibber jabber, fool how am i doing . Good. Yeah. There will be a sequel. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy we have to take a break but it will be worth it, stay there. We have many stars and many surprises on the way. Its our biggest show of the year. Back after this. [ cheers and applause ] only at t offers you all your live channels and dvr on your devices. Datafree. Entertainment. Your way. Only from at t. A big mac . And a grand mac . Man, theres a big mac for every move. We talking about the left right left crossover what . we got a big mac for that and we talking about 30 feet nothing but net. Splash we definitely got a big mac for that to the hoop star. Alleyoop. Watch your head. Ohhhh juicy, cheesy, iconic big mac. Now in three sizes. I want to see what you got. All the way up. Get that out of here, boy. As ai can embrace a worldber, full of surprising moments. The new marriott portfolio of hotels now has 30 brands in over 110 countries. So no matter where you go, you are here. Join or link accounts today. Of being there for my sons winning shot. That was it for me. Thats why im quitting with nicorette. Only nicorette mini has a patented fast dissolving formula. It starts to relieve sudden cravings fast. Every great why needs a great how. Every great why hes got the cash. Hes got a condo. Hes got a car. Hes got a career. But that still doesnt mean he gets you. Time to shine. Orbit. vo have to happen . Idnt i didnt see it. vo what if we could go back . What if our car. Could stop itself . In iihs frontend crash prevention testing, nobody beats the subaru impreza. Not toyota. Not honda. Not ford. The allnew subaru impreza. More than a car, its a subaru. Its a very simple procedure, mr. Diaz. Were just going to make one small incision here, then were gonna go in and remove your 67 corvette. My vette . Its just a gall bladder you dont have. Aflac paying you cash, so you might have to sell that sweet little muscle machine just to cover your rent. More funny juice. But my papa gave me. That. Car. Aflac. Ohh, i love doing that. Health can change, but the life you love doesnt have to. Keep your lifestyle healthy with aflac jimmy hello and welcome back to our 11th annual after the oscars special. Batman is on the way. As are many other luminaries. First lets check in with guillermo on the wall of america at the governors ball happening across look at this, guillermo, you did it i asked you to get us a big star, you got us a big star, Sacha Baron Cohen, hello [ cheers and applause ] hello, america. Were supposed to present, instead ali g. Wound up filling in for you . That is true. That is true. I was very displayed because i was getting ready nature called. I went into the bathroom. Next thing i knew, i had been usurped by ali g. And made a fool of. Jimmy ali g. Presented with olivia, did she know ali g. Was coming out instead of you [ cheers and applause ] jimmy im sorry [ cheers and applause ] jimmy im real sorry. Im not aware. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy sacha, i apologize, theres some idiots in the back. Yeah, theres a lot of complete pardon my french [ bleep ] walking around. Jimmy yeah, there are people jumping around in the back like theyre just trying to get famous. A lot of people are here upset they didnt win tonight. Really a shame that we put so much work into the show and then people just show and up they ruin it like that. Bad losers. Jimmy well, you know sacha, you have a movie the brothers grimsby coming out. Thats right, thats right. March 11th. Jimmy and again, i apologize for whats going on here, very unprofessional. Guillermo, youre the one that should be watching for whats going on. Get the guy behind you out of the shot who is jimmy thank you very much. Dimwit. Jimmy im so sorry. Stay away, please. Jimmy theres no excuse for that. I apologize again. Some people are just gross. But thank you very much. Yeah. Jimmy Sacha Baron Cohen [ cheers and applause ] stay away. Jimmy keep rounding people up, will you, guillermo . Stay away next year. Jimmy thank you. [ cheers and applause ] it just really pisses me off, thats all. La this is the reason why were watching television tonight. Oscar night is a night to celebrate great films. If youre at all familiar with the movie the producers you know it is one of the best comedies ever. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy the producers is a classic, won an oscar for mel brooks, recordbreaking 12 tony awards when mel made it into a Broadway Musical starring nathan lane and matthew broderick. Its been almost 15 years. Since that musical premiered. Now theyre back with a diabolical new scheme to unleash their most spectacular disaster yet. They were a pair of Political Consultants who needed a break. Thats it were finished, through, kaput dont say that, max. Lets face it, bloom, we havent had a Winning Campaign in years. Max, do you realize under the right circumstances it might be possible to make more money from a losing candidate than from a winner . What did you say . First we find a bad candidate, then we raise money like crazy and promise all the donors ambassadorships to italy then when the public figures out what a nutcase our guy is he drops out of the race and we keep all the dough oh, darling bloom, glorious bloom you bloody genius you max, dont. But wait, wait. This candidate. Hes got to be the worst candidate in history. A real train wreck. Schmuck, putz, goldplated nincompoop. Where would we find a buffoon like that . And now a message from the board room. People have been asking about my desk and the fact that i have so many papers on my desk. Its actually very neat. But if you look around, i mean, theres a lot of stuff. Ive noticed over the years people have a lot going on on their desk. Hand me the phone the phone my desk is a very important part of me yes, yes, yes. Hello, hello, operator . Thats a good thing get me the board room. You know which one. Announcer they had a foolproof plan. Theres a new horse in the race for the white house. His name, donald j. Trump. Can he beat the establishment . Who will support him . Fiscal conservatives . The religious right . Or crazy old semiracist white people . Theyre sure he can win . Oh, mrs. Comisky, donald trump is the very definition of a winner. Just read the pin. Oh. Bless you, mrs. Comisky, bless you. Thank you. Thank you. Yes. I keep the checkie, thank you. Thank you, mrs. Comisky. Yes, goodbye, mrs. Comisky. Here we go. Thats a girl. Oh, oh beautiful, beautiful. Were going right out the door. All right, easy now. Easy, we dont have time for that. Dont worry, its only six flights. Bye bye. Thank god for citizens united. 22 ambassadors to france so far. And 25 million bucks, bloom. I have to tell you, running trump was smart. But your idea about building a wall across the Mexican Border . Brilliant. Not as brilliant as your idea about making the mexicans pay for it. He wont last the week oh, look, max, this is it. I will build a great, great wall on our southern border and i will have mexico pay for that wall. Mark my words. Were in the money were in the money announcer but they picked the wrong fool. Good news for donald trump. The whole world has gone stark raving mad for him like these two looney birds, these numbskulls, even in whack a doodle. You ready for someone who job and go kick isis ass . Hes still in the lead, max. How could this happen . Well, i hear hes a proven businessman who knows how to get things done. Yeah, hell stand up to the mexicans. I cant believe this its not possible. Where did we go right . I dont know. Wait a minute. Wait a minute did he question john mccains war heroism . Yes. Did he say we should kick out 11 Million Immigrants . Yes. Did he propose banning all 1 billion muslims from entering the u. S. . Si did he say heidi klum was no longer a 10 . Yes, yes nothing is working, max, nothing. Oh, no no announcer just in time for the election, its a story that starts off funny and then gets really, really depressing. [ cheers and applause ] we needed a chump to put on the stump a frumpy grumpy named donald j. Trump hes building a wall a thousand feet tall dont worry cause the mexicans will pay for it all announcer from the producers of the producers comes a movie that will make America Great again. Nathan lane, matthew broderick, and Cloris Leachman star in youve been trumped maybe he wont be such a bad president. Bing Bing Bong Bong bing Bing Bong Bong. Whoa, what have we done . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy we have a lot to come including we have tonight on the show never before seen footage from batman versus superman. [ cheers and applause ] the after oscars post show. 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Sale ends sunday go to sleepnumber. Com for a store near you. I am totally blind. I lost my sight in afghanistan. If youre totally blind, you may also be struggling with non24. Calling 8448442424. Or visit my24info. Com. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy hi, im jimmy kimmel. Thank you for staying up late for our 11th annual after the oscars special. We are beaming to you live from hollywood mere steps away from the dolby theater, the room where it all happened earlier tonight. We have new shows tomorrow night and all next week. And a lot left to come tonight. Our first guest is a twotime oscar winner, actor, director, producer and screenwriter who next month, slips into a cape to keep watch over gotham city in batman vs. Superman dawn of justice. Stay down if i wanted it youd be dead already [ cheers and applause ] jimmy batman versus superman opens march 25th. Please welcome ben affleck [ cheers and applause ] jimmy wow. You look you look healthy, you look healthy. Well, you know. You do the superhero movie, you get muscled. Then muscle turns to fat, you know. I mean, really. On and off cycle. Jimmy no offense, i dont mean to put you in an uncomfortable position, but you really ballooned up. Thanks. I didnt think it was going to be about body shaming tonight. Jimmy what is going on . Thanks but jimmy have you got a monkey under there, whats happening here . What is going on here . Its moving. No, its not. Jimmy what the hell is going on there . What is this . Hey, why are you touching me . Jimmy im not touching you. Oh [ cheers and applause ] jimmy very uncool. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy no, no sit i wont have it s d [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thats i just think its gone on long enough. Jimmy im upset with you more than him about this. I think its maybe time to bury the hatchet here, man. Jimmy you get to decide when its time to bury the hatchet . You know what hes done to me . I think as a mutual friend its time to, you know jimmy this is not about you. This is about well, there is no us, its not about us. Matt, have a seat, sit down. Jimmy no, dont have a seat, thats my seat. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy i dont want him to sit. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy its not a guest, that is not a guest segment, this is not a guest appearance. This feels amazing [ cheers and applause ] jimmy this is not a guest this. Jimmy you might feel good about it, i dont feel good about it. This is the guest chair, thats not, thats a spare chair in case anything happens to this guest. Youre ruining the oscars show. Nobody wants you here. [ audience groaning ] jimmy my own audience has turned on me yes. [ cheers and applause ] and i still feel like dorothy. I do. This is wonderful. Jimmy you know this is illegal what youre doing, right . This is trespassing. This is potentially breaking and entering. You know you could be i could have you arrested right now for this. I didnt know that. If thats true jimmy that is