Im glad youre in good spirits. We are 12 days from christmas. And 37 days away from a new president of the united states. Theres so much going on today. And im going to start with the big one. Donald trump, you know who that is, right . [ laughter ] is supposed to hold a press conference on thursday to explain the potential conflicts of interest he might have when it comes to his business ventures. You know he owns hotels, golf courses, i think he owns a [ laughter ] he hasnt had a press conference for 139 days, which is a long time. But he postponed the press conference on thursday because they said hes too busy. And what is he busy doing . Kanye west entered trump tower. You see him back there. Wasnt so long ago that at a concert he went on this rant where he told his . Audiencethat if he had voted he would support donald trump and then a short time later he ended up in the hospital, im sure the two were because im not, exactly. Thats right, grump met with kanye west today. He does, though, hes not still hosting celebrity apprentice, right . What an amazing thing to see. Our next two president s side by side like that. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy its remarkable, its historic. Kanye tweeted, its important to have a direct line of communication wilt our future president if we truly want what about us . [ laughter ] kanye needs to stay close to donald trump because at this point hes the only person who condition afford to buy his sneakers. At the conclusion of the meeting the men parted ways. Just like they do it in the streets. You take care of yourself, ill see you soon. Jimmy yeah. Some said he and kanye have been friends for a long time, although unfortunately he plans to deport pablo. You cant play favorites. But trump and kanye, they do have a lot in common. Theyre both fashion designers. They both go on twitter rapids. They both use all caps. They body have very high self selfesteem. Theyre both married to models. They both like to interrupt people. And theyre both people of color, in donalds case, [ laughter ] [ applause ] kanye and donye, practically twins. Former Texas Governor rick per is Donald Trumps pick to run the department of energy which is amazing. Rick perry said he wants to get rid of the department of energy, he infamously couldnt remember the department of energys name. The third agency of government i would do away with, the education, the cant. The third one i cant, sorry. O oops. Jimmy oops indeed. Rick perry must have really impressed donald trump with his smart guy glasses because he had some very not nice things to say about trump during the campaign. Let no one be mistaken, Donald Trumps candidacy is a cancer on conservatism and it must be clearly diagnosed, excised, and jimmy and if there are any openings in this cancerous administration, please sign me up for one of them, id like it. Say what you will, hes a savvy politician, especially when it comes to social media. If youve had enough, take out your phone and text fedup to 9 95613. And follow me on tweeter. [ laughter ] [ applause ] jimmy thats gold is what that is. I really think donald trump the refrigerator perry. On tweeter donald trump announced his nominee for secretary of state, rex tillerson, ceo of a small mom and pop business called exxonmobil. He announced hes changing his slogan from drain the swamp to fill er up tillerson was a strits pick but you cant argue with the magic 8ball. When it speaks anyway. [ laughter ] trump calledle the truly great Business Leaders of the world. He said hes a worldclass player. Democrats and some republicans like marco rubio, john mccain, are concerned about his ties to russia. Hes done a lot of business there. Back in 2013, the president of russia, vladimir putin, awarded him the order of friendship which is a fancy way of saying he gave him a best friend necklace. [ laughter ] these cabinet appointments are Something Else. I mean, i cant wait to see who he picks to actually be history. Tonight our parking lot Security Guard guillermo, this is very exciting, tonight guillermo is going to attempt to set a new world record. Lets go outside now. S us cousin saling with guillermo on hollywood boulevard. [ cheers and applause ] first of all, thank you for being part of this. Now the rope guillermo is out there is because tonight he will attempt to set the record for most wrapping paper worn by a human being. [ cheers and applause ] guillermo first i should ask, is this something youve always dreamed of doing . Guillermo no. Jimmy no, okay. [ laughter ] today we are making a dream you didnt even know you had come true. Isnt that amazing. Sal, what is the current world record for most wrapping paper on a person . Sal according to my research there isnt one, this is such a stupid idea guinness wont certificate it. Jimmy they said, nah, no thanks. Ourselves. How are we going to count how much paper is wrapped around guillermo . Sal by the foot theres 10 feet of wrapping paper on each roll. Jimmy how many rolls do we have . Sal about 1,000. Jimmy 1,000 rolls. Guillermo, are you excited . Guillermo i hope this make you happy, jimmy. [ laughter ] [ applause ] jimmy lets get it going. It will make me happy. Lets wrap that man up. Here we go. Send in the elves and the wrapping will begin. Dont wrap his face, i need to be able to see it. Okay . All right, very good. Thank you. Well check back in with them in a moment. This is going to be another game of rock, paper, scissors. In japan rock, paper, scissors is bigger than it is here. Take a look at this. Ready . [ cheers and applause ] the winner jimmy what . Wow. I tell you something. That woman has been working so hard on rock for so many years. It all paid off. Speaking of meaningless accomplishments, lets check back in with guillermo and lets see how many all right. Well, there we go, thats a good start. Like how many feet of paper are we up to . Sal in that short time weve accumulated 70 feet of wrapping paper. Jimmy 70 feet of wrapping paper. Right now . Guillermo big. [ laughter ] jimmy well, wow. Youre like a burrito, really, right now. Okay, hang in there, guillermo. Well check in throughout the show as the paper gets thicker and thicker and thicker. Guillermo okay, jimmy. Jimmy very good, all right. [ cheers and applause ] wee need a big tree to put him under. While were on the subject of president s, i would like to wish a happy birthday to who turned 27 years old today. [ cheers and applause ] very talented, very charming. And here to present a special tribute to taylor on this special day, please welcome local second grader noel parker. [ cheers and applause ] hi, everybody im taylor swift and todays my 27th birthday i accomplished so much already. I won ten grammy hrts. Yo, yo, yo, yo, taylor. [ laughter ] im really happy for you, im going to let you finish. But it was beyonces birthday three months ago. [ laughter ] and she had one of the best birthdays of alltime. Of alltime [ cheers and applause ] shake it off, taylor, shake it off. Well, i have a boyfriend to break up with. Merry Christmas Jimmy merry christmas. [ cheers and applause ] Donald Trumps my homemy jimmy all right, thank you, kids. There you go. Theres taylor and little kanye. [ cheers and applause ] with the first review of rogue one. Well continue to wrap guillermo in paper, so stick around, well be right back [ cheers and applause ] . . . . . How else do you think he gets around so fast . Take the reins this holiday and get the mercedesbenz youve always wanted during the winter event. Now lease the 2017 gle350 for 579 a month when it comes to healthcare, seconds can mean the difference between life and death. For partners in health, time is life. We have 18,000 people around the world. The microsoft cloud helps our entire staff stay connected and Work Together in real time to help those that need it. The ability to collaborate changes how we work. What we do together at planters we know how to throw a remarkable holiday party. Just serve classy snacks and be a gracious host, no matter who shows up. Do you like nuts . Announcement this storm promises to be the biggest of the decade. With total accumulation of up to three feet. Roads will be shut down indefinitely. And schools are closed. Campbells soups go great with a cold and a nice red. Made for real, real life. Thanks for loading, sweetie. Oh, bakedon alfredo . Gotta rinse that. Nope. No way. Nada. Really . Dish issues . Throw it all in. Cascade platinum powers through. Your toughest stuckon food. Nice. Yeah, at first i thought it was just the stress of moving. [ sighs ] hey, i was using that. What, you think we own stock in the Electric Company . I will turn this car around right now theres nobody back there. I was becoming my father. [ clears throat ] its. Been an adjustment, but were making it work. You know, progressive. Com makes it easy for us to get the right home insurance. [ snoring ] progressive cant protect you from becoming your parents, jimmy aubrey logan is sitting in with the cletones tonight. Welcome back to the show. We have music from gucci mane first guillermo on hollywood boulevard, he is attempting to set the world record. How thick that is right now . For most wrapping paper on a human being . Guillermo . Guillermo yeah, jimmy. Jimmy how do you feel, is it hot . Guillermo a little bit. Jimmy a little bit hot. Does it feel comfortable . Do you feel secure . Do you feel like a baby swaddled up . Guillermo it feels good and secure. Jimmy it does, okay. What about all the spinning . Does that remind you of your nightly shots of tequila . Jimmy a lot, all right. Sal, technically we have already set the world record, isnt that correct . Sal yeah, we could stop any time now. Jimmy and yet why would we stop now . We want to set this bar so high no one will etch reach it again. We dont want other shows beating us. Sal i also learned guillermo is slightly clause tro phobic so this makes it even greater. Jimmy wow, you can be Santa Guillermo right. Jimmy keep up the good work. Remember this is all for a very good cause. Oh, actually, its not for a good cause at all. [ laughter ] the holidays are coming fast. This is the most wonderful time of the year unless youre a fed ex driver, then it sucks. The rest of us, in the midst of all this holiday shopping, i think its important that we dont forget what christmas is really about. And that is the birth of a baby under very unsanitary conditions. [ laughter ] last night before we put her t book. We read to her before bed. I ordered one of those golden books. I wanted to give her an idea of why we celebrate christmas, because she sees all these toys. I read her the story about mary and joseph and the manger and baby jesus. Halfway through she said, no, i want the story of christmas. [ laughter ] i know shes only 2 1 2, she cant read, but i showed her. The cover of the book was titled the story of christmas. If jesus had a red nose, she would like him too. [ laughter ] this is also the time of year you see all the commercials where people give their spouse a car with a giant bow. A car with a bow on it makes a ive never seen it in real life. But i would imagine it would make a big impression. If youre looking to do Something Special over the holidays, i have a gift option that i think has the same effect but much more affordable,ak a gift shell never forget. You didnt i did i love it call for an unioner . Introducing uber bow. Isnt this exciting . Its an uber with a bow on it. Yes. Its christmas. And a car with a bow on it pulled up in front of our house. And . And i thought you bought me a new car gift do you realize the kind of financial commitment that is . For a Christmas Gift . That is insane. That is absolutely insane. I want a divorce. Tiny water . All the comfort and convenience youve come to expect from uber, also with a gigantic bow on the roof. Uber bow. It shouldnt exist. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy yeah. Christmas is on december 25th, but for star wars nerds, christmas comes friday with a new movie rogue one. Its expected to be the biggest movie of the season. And tonight we asked our friend yehya to review it. Yehya does all the big movies. And this was no exception. Here is yehya talking about the movie, the first look at rogue one a star wars story. Ready . Action talking i dont forget like this. Action my name is yehya, i forget talk about the movie. Oh, i forget, no. Sorry, one more time. Action hi, my name is yehya, i talk about the movie behind me. Star war. You know it took a long time, its a director, the first star war, george lootus. The movie, talk about the people fighting, the bad people and the the time to fight is now and the girl, shes the man in the movie. The man felicity zhones. She make his hair like headphone, carrie washington. And the bad guy, he have black mask, his name dark man. He look like black. He tres like scuba diver. Whoooooch i got the picture with the bad guy, mads nicholson, close to george nicholasson. And the americanafternoon guy, his fame forrest wilker, he won the oscar for the last king of costco. This movie is not 1d, not 2d, 3d. You feel like inside. You go like this, its scare. You goo like this, right side, left side. You blow up, it become boom, come in your face right away. May the force be with us. Go watch the movie and i watch it with you. Good luck cut [ cheers and applause ] jimmy yehya, you nailed it again. Tonight on the show, we have a good show for you. The cletones tonight wide receiver we have gucci mane and samantha pond ever from espn and be right back with rami malek so stick around [ cheers and applause ] . Dicky portions of Jimmy Kimmel Live are brought to you by the new nissan rogue. Go see rogue one a star wars story in theaters december 16th. . I had to leave my happy home in exile . . Home is where i want to be . . Home . We love being green. So the nest learning thermostat connects to your phone, and learns what you like, to help you save energy. And thats something everyone can appreciate. . [ nutcracker instrumental ] almost. There. Fifty on toys at target. You guys rock yeah . Whoaaa im about to head off to the after party . And thanks to target, i got using order pickup. Stay fresh oh kevins lunch freaky fast. Fifth time this week. . . Jimmy we have a special guest tonight. Thats aubrey logan sitting in with the cletones. Aubrey has a new album coming out soon and a website too, aubreylogan. Com. You can learn everything about her there. [ cheers and applause ] tonight, she will be onfield for the College Football playoff on espn, Samantha Ponder is here. Then later, his new album comes out friday. Its called the return of east atlanta santa, gucci mane with travis scott. Tomorrow, david spade will be here and we will close down the street, for a block Party Performance from metallica. Just in time for the holidays. And on thursday, Blake Shelton and andrea riseborough. Please join us for that. Lets check in quickly with record for most wrapping paper worn by a human being. Wow. Guillermo, when you were growing up in mexico did you ever dream one day youd be getting wrapped like this in hollywood boulevard . Guillermo if i tell you yes, can we stop . Jimmy how do you say no in spanish . Guillermo no jimmy well, thats the answer. All right. Well keep checking back in with making history. Yesterday, our first guest woke up and found out he was nominated for a golden globe, and then he had coffee and oatmeal. It was a very good day. He won the emmy for playing hoodieheaded hacker Elliot Alderson on mr. Robot, please welcome rami malek. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy how are you . Its very good to see you. Its great to see you. Jimmy i think the last time i saw you was when you won the emmy. Yes. Jimmy i was hosting the show. I was standing just offstage. I was there. [ laughter ] jimmy and you just walked over to me it couldnt have been better. I walked offstage and the first time i was on here you whispered in my ear that might happen. Jimmy i knew it was going to happen. I know. Jimmy iea getting that award being you jimmy it makes you realize i have powers. [ laughter ] you, do thats why im back here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy there was Something Else. I dont know if you want to mention this. But Something Else funny happened at that moment. Well, i gave you a big hug and i was the Perfect Moment for that. Over your shoulder i see someone i know. It was my exgirlfriend. Which is not the best thing you want to say to your exgirlfriend. Jimmy maybe not the first thing, no. Shes a makeup artist. And she was right there. And it was just a surreal moment. Jimmy the only thing better than winning an emmy, your first time nominated, is to then run into an exgirlfriend moments after it happens. [ laughter ] i know, everything falling in place, perfect. Jimmy it was unbelievable. The only thing missing was you punching the High School Bully in the face on the i did that too. Jimmy she did seem very happy for you which i think indicates that you are a wellliked person. I would like to think so, or im fooling a lot of people. Jimmy or shes happy to get rid of you, one of those two things. Either way. No, shes been rooting for me like you have for wow. [ laughter ] jimmy maybe longer even. Smart audience. Jimmy yesterday when the golden globe nominations came out, they come out very, very early in the morning. Happen . I was not up waiting. I just try not to think about too much when these things come in. Try to get a good nights rest. But my phone started buzzing. I leave it on. And i noticed that it had a lot of people have been hitting me up because it was still plugged in, yet losing battery power. Jimmy oh, yeah. I think thats a good amount of people trying to reach you. Thats when you have to look at your phone and find out if its good or bad ws call to wake you up to reach you, because youre going to find out when you wake up anyway. Right. Jimmy its not like there was an emergency or something. Really, they could wait. What time do you usually wake up . 3 00 p. M. [ laughter ] jimmy well, maybe they made the right decision. No, they made the right decision. Jimmy you grew up in the valley here in l. A. Whatd you do before you what was your job before you were a working actor . Me . I grew up in the valley in los angeles and i really never saw was just the valley and nothing else existed. Jimmy right. So i got i had a pizza delivery job, taking deliveries over into hollywood. Around here. But i would wait. My car was so broken down