[ cheers and applause ] tom is here to tell us bout his movie sully a story about a group of somali pirates who hijack toms plane and threaten his life with a box of chocolates or Something Like that. I dont know. I sometimes get details screwed up. He doesnt save that stupid private ryan in this one, does he . Good. Did you watch commanderinchief forum on matt lauer interviewed donald trump and Hillary Clinton back to back in front of the crowd of american veterans, the winner, the leader who came off strongest and best last night was vladamir putin. Donald trump loves vladamir putin, after all its said and done if he doesnt become president , at the least, donald trump will have amazing sex with vladamir putin. Because they think a great deal of each other. Trading compliments with the person who invaded ukraine, annexed crimea, who supports the assad regime in syria, sells missiles to iran. Hacked the dnc, he says how do you say nice things about a person like that if you overlook all these horrible thing hes does, how can you negotiate with him . The fact that he calls me brilliant or whatever he calls me will have zero impact. The fact you say you can get along with him. You thing the day you become es he is going to change his mind on some of these issues. Possibly, its possible. I dont know, matt. Its possible. It will not have impact. If he says great things about me. I will say great things about him. Jimmy the one guy donald trump has nothing bad to say about is vladamir putin. Maybe he is afraid putin will cut off his supply of wives. I really dont know what is going on. [ applause ] donald trump and Hillary Clinton. Theyre not the owned candidates for president. There are lesser known contenders in the mix. The tendency is to think some of the Third Party Candidates are smarter or more principles. But the libertarian candidate, gary johnson, former governor of new mexico. You may want to hold your yeahs, got demoted from Third Party Candidate to maybe fifth Party Candidate with this. What would you do if you were elected about aleppo. And what is aleppo . You are kidding. No. Aleppo is in syria. Its the epicenter of the refugee crisis. Okay, got it. Got it. Well, with regard to syria, i do think that it is a mess. Jimmy yeah, yeah, i hate to say it but that could cost him the election. It could. That. All day he and aleppo were trending on twitter. Fortunately, governor johnson was allowed to explain himself. The Second Time Around he really knocked it out of the park. Just curious your view is, was it a gotcha thing, should you have known it, in retrospect, do you know it . When you recognize what is going on in syria, when you recognize that aleppo is in kind of the epicenter, aleppo, not knowing there is a between the the two forces, really, at the epicenter of the, but not remembering, or identifying that that is aleppo. Jimmy right. What . I mean great, good going, gary. At least we know who he is now, i guess, right . Ironically, the thing that finally put gary johnson on the football season football season is officially under way. Tonight rematch of the super bowl between the Carolina Panthers and the denver broncos. Broncos will be without quarterback Peyton Manning this year. Peyton retired at the end of last season. So he could spend more time Grocery Shopping with lionel ritchie. And theyre going to miss him. Quarterback, simeon got his first start for the broncos. Interesting story. This guy almost work in real estate. Was going to become a real estate agent. Then could have become the next bachelor. Next logical step. Instead the starting quarterback for the broncos. Glad football is back. I said goodbye to my family this morning. And i will see them again on february 6th. I guess. [ applause ] my daughter is one of my daughters is 2 years old. My daughter thinks sports are called nice. Buzz i sit in front of the tv, yelling nice. Nice. She is not too bright. Anyway. Tim tebow who used to play quarterback for the broncos, signed with the mets. Mets signed tebow to minor league contract. Proof god exists or doesnt. I am not sure. If this doesnt work out he may never lose his virginity. In north korea, the government is reported to have banned the sarcasm when theyre speaking or writingeing about their leader jungun. Feel bad for the people. I am thinking of banning sarcasm. What do you thing of my new haircut . Apple may be picking up the slack. Updating adding features for the iphone including siri, siri now comes with sarcasm. Have to wait for the new phone to got it. Watch this. Siri, where is the nearest Italian Restaurant . Siri oh, good you are eating again. Great idea. Jimmy what is that supposed to mean . Siri it means you need to eat to stay alive. And we all want you to live a long, long time. Jimmy well, thank you. Siri so that you can continue to entertain us with that hilarious mexi he is so funny. He cant pronounce anything right. Jimmy thats not nice, siri, why are you being so rude . Siri how would you like it if they replaced you with a newer, younger model every 9 months. Jimmy guess i didnt think about that. Siri you didnt think, shocking. The guy that plays boggle on the siri wow, what a large penis. This must be the biggest one your wife has ever seen. Jimmy i miss the flip phone. I am sorry you have to see us fight. The new iphone out on september 16th. Will not have a headphone jack. For whatever reason. Apple is doing away with the headphone jack. Which outraged a lot of customers and inspired many of the nations newscasters yesterday to all say exactly the same thing. Apple is saying hit the road, jack. Hit the road, jack. Hit the road, jack. Hit the road, jack. Hit the road, jack. Hit the road, jack. Hit the road, jack. Hit the road, jack. Hit the road, jack. Hit the road, jack. I wish ray charles was alive to see this. This is an interesting nugget. According to new research from the cdc, middleaged parents are more likely to smoke marijuana made weed uncool like she did to myspace. But the use of marijuana by Older Americans has skyrocketed. It is up 455 since 2002. Which of course is the year oprah made it one of her favorite things. Among seniors, seniors, 65 and older, monthly marijuana use is up 333 . Thats just willie nelson. Thats not even obviously this news affects a lot of so if you are a teenager with pot smoking parent or parent with a closet full of pot. Please Pay Attention to this message. It could save your life. What you doing, honey . Just pouring myself a fresh cup of joe. Coffee is for losers. Look what i got. Zoe, how did you get those . I sold maddys bike. Lets go smoke them. I dont know. Whats the matter. [ clucking ] im no chicken, come on yes. If you suspect that your parent are doing drugs, talk to them. Mom, dad, what are you doing in there . Nothing. Before its too late. Go away. Go away. Go away. How was school . We have to talk. So, what did you gs marijuana is wrong. We just wanted to be cool. Like the greenburgs. You guys the greenburgs are dead. Dead from pot. Pot killed the greenbergs. Dont let your family be next. [ applause ] when we come back, we pulled, i dont think this one was going to work. Believe. You will see it an believe it when we come back. So stick around. We will be right back. . . Scalpel. I have no idea what im doing. Im just a tv doctor. I never went to college. scream i dont do blood. But now, thanks to cigna, i can do more than just look the part. Is that a foot . We are the tv doctors of america. And were partnering with cigna to help save lives. For an annual checkup. So go, know, and take control of your health. Doctor poses. Cigna. Together, all the way. Why be in the kitchen when you can be in the moment . Olive garden now offers catering delivery. We make the food and deliver it to your door. So you can enjoy whats important. It ages you. Get simply ageless makeup it floats over lines and you look beautiful simply ageless from olay. And easy, breezy, beautiful covergirl . . . One smart choice leads to the next. . The new 2017 ford fusion is here. s the beauty of a wellmade choice. . We are a military family. They travel a lot. Every four years when we got restationed you think its going to be the biggest change in your life but theres always more changes to come. The first thing that we would do when we would get into our new place was set up the beds. And when i go to t. J. Maxx i buy good quality things that are going to last a long time. Ke a bonding experience. Discover real value worth sharing. I just think that home, its wherever your family is. Maxx life at t. J. Maxx. . And theyre off well, that took a turn. Whats the speed limit in here . Dad should we tell them there are more . Theyll figure it out, eventually. Hahaha umhmmm hey nikki what are you doing here . You tell me, stephen. What . Im snapping. Youve been streaming my videos all morning. Now youre with this thing . No its not you its verizon they limit my data. I had to choose. Limits . Introducing tmobile one. One price. Jimmy tonight on the show music from kaleo. Today is the 50th anniversary of star trek 50 years ago today, star trek premiered on nbc and went on to revolutionize the way fans of tv show embarrassed themselves at a convention. So all of the star trek fans there from the beginning live now i mentioned earlier, as you learned exclusive uhly on this show, apple unveiled their iphone 7 yesterday, not coming out until september 16th. Most people hear the announcement assume they can get it right away. We decided to take advantage of that and apple mania in general. We went on the street and asked iphone users theyve want to try the iphone 7. We took their current phone. Cleaned it. Put it in a case. Them. Told them it was the new one. You think we found any one who believed that . Well, lets find out with this first look at the iphone 7. . . We have gotten some prototypes of the 7. Great thing about the 7, it is an instant data transfer. Transfer a lot of your settings from your current phone to the 7. Try it out instantly as if it was your own phone. Great would you mind giving patrick the old phone . Do you need my pass code . No. You said you had one since the 3 . Yeah, i would say since 2011, 2010, whenever that one came out. Reporter this is water resistant. Yes. Have you had anything where you got water on your iphone . What happened . Dropped it in the toilet . Yep. Did you do the rice thing . Didnt work. Oh, we have t with all the settings. Okay. So this is look all my stuff on it. This is all your stuff on the new one. Cool. Thats great. How does it feel . Thinner. A little bit. Does it feel lighter as well . Yeah, actually than my 6plus, yes. You can test to see if all your info transferred. Has the it transferred . Already got a text message from a friend of mine. Yeah. Oh, lets see. How does it feel . How does it look . Its a lot smoother. Feels lighter. Than the other one. Yeah. What do you think, terms of the style and sleekness compared. Looks good with the eased bezel on the front. Feels nice in the hand. Is it to you . Yeah, going this phone to the other phone. Yes sir. A lot of the pictures are prefiltered in the new one. You will see they will look a lot smoother and be less choppy looking. How do the pictures look . Look good. A little brighter than on the 6. Definitely looks more crisp. More clear. Even the, the screen itself, like there is, i dont know, looks more smooth and glossy, i guess, shall i say it. Its much clearer. Than the old phone. Yes. In terms of speed what would you say, is it faster . Much faster. Can you call one of the them them you got the new iphone 7. Ask them how it sound . Okay. Hey, mom, how you doing . Hey, i got the new iphone 7. How do i sound on the phone . Sound good. Okay. Sound better than your old phone . Sound. Better than my old phone, does it . The clearness. Yeah, okay. How you doing, mom . How you feeling . Lets wrap it up. Do you miss your old phone at you can have it. We can have it. The new phone is 600. But today if you give us like a 50, we will just, let you walk away with that phone . You are joking. No, swear to god. 50. Like a new apple thing. Okay. Ill do it. I dont have a 50 bill. Want to go to the cash machine. Come right back. She had it already, yeah. She had it. Great. Here is your brand new iphone 7. Yea the phone for 49. 95. 49. 95. Yeah. Seriously . Okay. That is great. Now everything is going to be transferred over and everything. Everything is. You can check it out. It is exactly the same. Brand new phone. In your old case. Okay. 50. Thats unbelievable. It is unbelievable. Because the thats your old phone. Huh . Jimmy we made a lot of money. All right, tonight on the show, music from kaleo. And well be right back with tom hanks. [ cheers and applause ] . . Alright, hows this for a tv show. Sous chef. Lawyer by day, prepcook by night. Also, his name is sous. No. Sloppy joseph. Huhhh no here you go. I got this. I get cash back so its like everythings on sale. With the blue cash everyday card from American Express you get cash back on purchases with no annual fee. Everythings on sale a Home Shopping show takes place on a sailboat. Thats the one banana boat dessert on me. Look at you being all lactose tolerant. Its more than cash back. Its backed by the service and security of American Express. Its more than cash back. Hello. Hi. Welcome. This is the chevy malibu. It was awarded most dependable midsize car by j. D. Power. It looks great. Wow oh my gosh, its going up but the malibus not the only vehicle that was awarded. This is mind blowing. The chevy camaro, equinox, and silverado hd were awarded most dependable as well. This is extremely impressive. Theres so many doing it once, yea, great job, four times, obviously, theyre doing something right. Absolutely girl 1 hey, thats a great color. What is it . Girl 2 i call it free fuchsia. Huh . Yup i picked it up using my kohls cash. How do i look . Smart. Yourself to just about anything. Now thats the good stuff. Jimmy parents go to jail for their kids not going to school. In north carolina. Jimmy oh, my god. Really . Z23esz zvpz jimmy welcome back. Jimmy welcome back, friends. Tonight all the way from iceland. Their debut album is called ab kaleo from the samsung outdoor stage. Tomorrow night, special friday night show tomorrow with eddie from Stranger ThingsGaten Matarazzo will join us, and well have music from schoolboy q with e40. Be with us tomorrow night too. Jimmy our first guest is one of the finest and most favorite actors in all the world. He is the tom by which all others are measured. Starting tomorrow, you can see him land a plane in the hudson river in the new movie sully please welcome tom hanks. Thank you jimmy thank you for coming. Eddie murphy tomorrow. Thank you. Thank you. Wow. Hey, i got i got nothing. Jimmy you dont need it. Im so tired. Jimmy so glad you are here tonight. Murphy is here. Thats big. Jimmy a lot of time the audience groans. And im here thursday. Thats what theyre all thinking, admit it. I can handle it. Jimmy you had the premiere of sully in new york. Yes. I have been on a plane. I deont know. Jimmy what is it like with you on the plane . Are people absorbing the sulliness. Well i reassured the kids, how are you, slugger. You want to go to the cockpit. Just go knock on the door. Pound on the door until they let you in. Go ahead. Tell them i said you could. What are the pilots thinking . As a 3yearold kid is banging. Jimmy hope they dont hear any kind of a prayer. Do you pack your luggage or man. Of course i do. I wish i had that. You know, you know i wish, kato will you pack my bags for me. Doesnt happen. Jimmy weird thing. I could do that for you. No one knows what i am going to need. No one knows. I need that particular, you know, red tshirt with a vampire on it. Cant get to sleep. The thing you buy. I find that there is really only one way to pack. Strip naked and give yourself two hours. You take it, either way you take a shower. And the wife comes and, you know, knocks on the glass door, says im leaving now. Love you. She goes. And i got the whole house to myself. Crank up the itunes. Buck naked. Air dry. And then you fold that tshirt like that. And then you slide it around. Jimmy why . The dog worships me. Never leaves my side. She is looking at me like this. As im, you know, as the entire package dances before her. You know . If you know what im saying. Then eventually the four suitcases are packed. Then i will put on my traveling clothes. But you got to be careful. Jimmy why . You want to, there is one time i was actually, the Universal Studios had paid for a plane. Because i was goi festival. I had to be there. For apolo 13. I put on pajamas a gift to me that were monogrammed that had my name on them. Right. And i had these moroccan slippers that my wife had given me for christmas that were 900 moroccan slippers she bought on sale for 82. So they send a car. Slippers and a monogrammed pajamas. And thinking please do not kill me in an accident. Because they will say, he was pulled out of his car wearing wearing monogrammed pajamas and thousand dollar moroccan sandals. You dont want that. [ applause ] jimmy not how you want to go. You deont want that to be te tombstone. Jimmy i think you would have here lies tom hanks, so comfortable. This will be your tombstone. Look at that. Its thursday. Bosom buddies. What we have got here. I have fonder memories of these people on this card than i do of my own family. Paramount right across. We were stage 25. I think they were stage 24. Taxi was like the Gold Standard everybody, we were the ugly stepchildren. Jimmy all worked on the same lot together . Peter and i had numbered parking spaces. Had their names, judd hirsch. Pam dawder right there. Jimmy funny. I was 116. Peter in 117. You mention the star trek thing. Our first season they were making the wrath of kahn 2 movie side of the lot. Paramount. Peter and i ran over always expecting to hear that what are you kids doing on this . We snuck on the sound stage. There was the bridge of the Starship Enterprise before us. There was a dude sitting in captain kirks, on the kahn, captain kirks chair the a soldering gun, and eyeglasses, magnifying eyeglasses sitting there like this. And he looked up at us and said, hey, guys. Then right on the other side, you know right where the elevator was where you go in the elevator go stom ome where else the enterprise, a transporter roomch right next to it. We went and stood on the transporter circles. Waiting to be beamed up or something look that. Just as we were there, maury lank, the paramount