Mens restrooms in federal buildings to have baby changing tables. [ cheers and applause ] or as most guys will call that, finally, a place where we can eat a sandwich. [ laughter and applause ] im not leaving. Actually, when dads heard theres going to be changing tables in the mens bathroom, they were like, thanks, obama. [ laughter and applause ] guess theres a new mtv documentary macklemore, obama he drank and did drugs. Adding, i pretty much tried whatever was out there. When asked what made him stop, obama said, stop . [ laughter and applause ] hey, i want to say happy 41st wedding anniversary to bill and hillary clinton. Thats right. [ cheers and applause ] happy wedding anniversary. Thats right. They celebrated with a quiet dinner, a really, really quiet dinner. [ laughter ] did you Say Something . No. Good. Thats right. Today is bill and Hillary Clintons 41st wedding anniversary. We know that theyre a little busy right now. So, we came up with some cards that they can send to each other. Steve awe. Jimmy yeah. This first ones for hillary to give bill it says, you still make me weak in the knees. [ laughter ] inside, it says, or maybe its pneumonia again. [ laughter and applause ] i mean, you can steve yeah. She can give it right to him. Jimmy yeah. She can give it right to him. Steve how kind of you. Jimmy thank you. Well, heres a card that bill can send to hillary. It says, i love you with a a fiery passion and hunger for you. Thats sweet. Inside, it says, happy birthday, diane, sorry i couldnt be with you. Its my anniversary with hillary. [ laughter and applause ] he can give it to her. . Steve diane. Jimmy heres the heres the last card. Its for hillary to give to bill. It says, i can share all my secrets with you. Open up, and it says, now please delete this card. There you go. [ laughter and applause ] can you delete a card . Seth sweet. Always thinking of others. Jimmy well, this is interesting here. A new National Poll found that democrats now have a a significant lead over republicans in the congressional races. Republicans said, and theres only one man to blame for this. And donald trump said, exactly billy bush. [ laughter and applause ] im billy bush. Of course, trump is still under fire for the lewd and offensive tape that was released last week, the one he referred to as locker room talk. Well now, pro athletes are that is not how they speak in the locker room. [ light laughter ] while tim tebow said, i dont even like to say billy bush. [ laughter and applause ] steve hey. Ho jimmy people are still talking about undecided voter, ken bone [ laughter and applause ] he went viral after the last debate. Here he is right here. Thats ken bone there. And get this, apparently the red sweater ken bone wore at the debate is now sold out on which explains this years most Popular Halloween costume, slutty ken bone. [ laughter and applause ] get to some sports. I read about a High School Football team in Washington State that has outscored its past three opponents 1700. Players are pretty psyched. The first player said, its been an amazing season. I hope to keep it up. Next player said, its been an amazing run. It feels like were unbeatable. Finally their quarterback said, sorry, guys, i have to go back [ laughter and applause ] tough break for those kids. [ cheers and applause ] check this out. An Ice Cream Company here in new york city is selling a line of alcohol infused ice creams [ cheers ] or as people going through a a breakup calls it, instant breakfast. [ laughter and applause ] finally, a man in rhode island just grew the largest pumpkin in north america weighing over mans wife no longer thinks its cute when he calls her pumpkin. [ laughter ] we have a great show tonight. Give it up for the roots [ cheers and applause ] . . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy we have a great week of shows ahead. Bryan cranston, vin diesel. John hamm will all be joining us. Plus performances from barry gibb. Has got a new record. And kings of leon. You do not want to miss it. But, first joining us tonight he is the biggest name in comedy right now. This guy has one huge hit after another. And this friday his new concert film kevin hart what now . Is in theaters everywhere. Our buddy kevin hart is here. Steve yeah [ cheers and applause ] about his new movie. Its a real passion project for him. Then he and i are going to face off in a fun new game called would you rather. Its gonna be good. [ scattered applause ] plus people are loving her new amazon series, fleabag, the very funny Phoebe Wallerbridge is joining us. [ cheers and applause ] have you seen that yet . Steve oh, its great. Jimmy great. Steve its great. Jimmy fleabag its really funny. And we got great music from james bay. [ cheers and applause ] there he is taking a nap. [ laughter ] getting ready for the show. Steve cup of coffee. Jimmy yeah, cup of i dont think its a cup of coffee. Steve its coffee. Jimmy you think so . I call him king bay. Steve really . Jimmy got queen bee . Steve king bay. Jimmy and you got king bay. Steve yeah. Jimmy bay seasoning. Old bay seasoning. Steve old bay. Bay city, man. Bay, city. Jimmy yeah, old bay city. Guys, its time to take a look at the stories making headlines today. And weigh the good with the [ cheers and applause ] . Pros and cons and pros and cons and pros . Jimmy tonight, well be taking a look at the pros and cons of going to going to a a netflix movie theater. [ light laughter ] netflix Just Announced that its going to release original movies in select theaters across the country. Yeah. Its a new move for them. So, lets take a look at the pros and cons of going to a a netflix movie theater. Mere we go. Pro, its just like watching netflix at home. Con, except you have to put on pants. [ laughter and applause ] steve you dont have to. Jimmy but you should. Steve yeah. Jimmy pro, it turns netflix into a place where hundreds of people can watch together. Con, it turns netflix and chill into an orgy. [ laughter and applause ] cant fight the future. Pro, theyll have a recently watched section. Con, so the entire theater can know youve seen all nine seasons of my little pony friendship is magic. [ applause ] thats a pretty great show. Steve its a fantastic show. Jimmy pro, netflix hopes con, or as samsung put it, be careful what you wish for. [ laughter and applause ] gotta go. Steve oh, my phone blew up. Jimmy pro, the theater will replicate the feeling of watching netflix in your own bed. Con, complete with reclining seats, pillows, and a burning hot laptop to place on your crotch. [ applause ] pro, it makes you really feel immersed in the show, narcos. Con, because you paid way too much for coke. Movies, thats how they get you. Movies. Steve every time. Jimmy yeah. Finally, pro, showing up to watch one movie. Con, ending up walking six in a a row and passing out in your chair. There you go. That is the pros and cons. Well be right back with kevin hart, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] rico thinking this must be how Odell Beckham feels when he scores a game winning touchdown. Announcer beckham scores giants touchdown crowd noise Odell Beckham thinking this must be how rico felt when he triple jumped mr. Sanchez pepsi if you didnt expect to see an applebees usda choice top sirloin searing to smoky oak perfection. Just wait until you see the price. Woodfired steak with two sides for just 9. 99. Now for a limited time. Only at applebees. An Opening Night on broadway is kind of magic. Im beowulf boritt and im a broadway set designer. When i started designing a bronx tale the musical, i came up. With this idea of four towers that were fire escapes. Essentially. 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Please welcome back a good friend of the tonight show, mr. Kevin hart [ cheers and applause ] . . Jimmy kevin hart whats up . Whats up . Jimmy kevin hart. How are you, sir . Jimmy looking sharp as always, my friend. Always. Jimmy nice to see you. You as well. Jimmy thank you so much. Can i philadelphia over there, jimmy. Every time i come, i need to take a second. [ cheers ] jimmy yeah, yeah, yeah. Let me acknowledge my city. I love my city. Jimmy yeah, yeah. The roots. Hey, guys. How are you doing, fellows . Jimmy oh, good to see, yeah. Im trying to put on for the city, guys that was a moment. That was a philadelphia moment. Jimmy that was a moment. Okay, yeah, good. Im sorry about that, guys. Jimmy yeah, yeah. Dont be sorry okay. Jimmy go ahead. Yes jimmy no. [ laughter ] no, the roots are my jawn. Yeah, i mean, look, honestly [ laughter ] jimmy thats a philly thing. My jawn. Jimmy thank you. I want to say thanks so much for well, i dont want to get into too much of what we did this morning, but we shot something thats going to air thursday. Yeah. Jimmy but, man, oh last time, we went on a roller do, okay . [ laughter ] heres what makes jimmy a nice jerk, okay . [ laughter ] jimmy likes to play. He knows im not going to say no. We have a great relationship. Weve done amazing things, these things that went viral jimmy yeah. And people to love to see him. So, because of that, jimmy calls and says, kev, i got an idea. I think it would be great. And i go, jimmy, i dont think thats safe. He go, i know, but it will be good. Im like [ laughter ] but i dont know if it will. Jimmy its good tv. You know jimmys going, its great tv. Like, hes like [ laughter ] jimmy thats not how i talk. [ laughter ] it is, though. It is. What we did this morning is just honestly its crazy. Jimmy its great tv. Its the stupidest, craziest thing. Jimmy its really, really good. Its going to be bigger than the roller coaster. Jimmy it will be bigger, right . For sure its going to be bigger than the roller coaster. Jimmy lets just say yeah. Hes afraid of roller coasters, and im afraid of getting yeah, this was the reverse. Jimmy yeah. You were afraid this. Jimmy im afraid of getting yeah, getting scared. I cant wait. I got to say, you are in for a comedian. Yeah, man. Jimmy comedians arent really jacked. But this is real. Yeah. Jimmy i mean, youre jacked. [ cheers ] yeah. Whoo. Yeah. Just like that. Just like a babys thigh right there. [ laughter ] thats a babys leg right there. Thats what that is. [ laughter ] jimmy thats a big babys leg. Yeah, thats a muscular babys leg right there. [ laughter ] jimmy but you really are in great shape. That babys drinking a lot of creatine is what that babys drinking. [ laughter ] jimmy a baby lifting weights baby, yeah. But then, youre also on the cover of runners world. And this is why i love runners world, too, because they do covers like this. This is kevin hart on the cover of runners world magazine. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy can you zoom in . [ cheers and applause ] i shouldve [ light laughter ] jimmy i saw that. All right, listen. Jimmy yeah. Oh, look at this one. This is a good one. Wait, theres another cover. [ laughter and applause ] yeah, i love that. So, how cool is it that they do that . No, listen. Rs know me, man, you know that i really do embrace and endorse the healthy lifestyle. Jimmy you do. Its a part of me, and i feel like when i put my actions behind my words, it makes it so much more authentic, and people then respond to it. So the running that i do, people join me. And runners world decided for their anniversary issue to have me grace the cover because they felt like running was becoming social, and it was because of me. And i felt it it was the biggest honor ever. So thank you to runners world and thank you to everybody and thats going amazing. Jimmy got this comedy movie coming out this friday, kevin hart what now . Yes. Jimmy you have so much stuff going on. You also, uh youre Rolling Stones number one yeah. Jimmy highestpaid comedian of all time. That sounds about right. Jimmy yeah, thats [ cheers ] you have youre also producing real husbands of hollywood. That airs 9 00 p. M. Tuesdays on b. E. T. Yeah. Jimmy and then you brought me underwear today. Yes, i did. [ laughter ] i bought you underwear. Jimmy no one brings me underwear. Turn them around. Jimmy okay, im sorry. I dont know how they work. There they go right there. Right there. Tommy johns. Im a owner in tommy johns, and i felt that you need to have some. Jimmy tommy johns . Yeah, the most comfortable underwear that men can wear. Jimmy but what is this . Thats how i feel. [ laughter ] jimmy whats this . Right there, well jimmy whats the front pocket . Thats where your package goes, jimmy. Now, dont point to that one. Point to this one on the side, okay . [ laughter ] jimmy sorry. Yes, that pocket right there. Jimmy is that for your telephone . What is this . Yeah. Well, you can put your cell phone in there. I put remote controls in there. Jimmy but you put your [ laughter ] no, well, thats just an easy access, okay, if you dont feel like dealing with stuff. Jimmy the top . [ laughter ] you go from the top. Its the easy, comfortable way to flop out. Look man, im a [ laughter and applause ] what you want me to say, man . Okay . Jimmy what im trying to say is some of us cant flop out, you know what im saying . [ laughter ] jimmy, im doing a lot of flopping over here, okay . [ laughter ] theres a lot of damage going on over here. Jimmy yeah, all right, yeah. Youre also working on [ laughter ] youre also working on movies. Re yeah. Jimmy with my man, dwayne johnson, the rock. Dwayne the rock johnson. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy we love him, too. Yes, yes. Jimmy we love him. We love you. Youre just good, good people. Im so much better than him. [ laughter ] jimmy thats not lets not say that. Lets not go not like in a way where were competing, but if we were, i would be better. [ laughter ] jimmy heres what he takes a car, like, from set to set on location when youre filming jumanji. You refuse to take cars. You like to walk. [ laughter ] jimmy well, human beings are driving cars. Well, i like to use my legs when were talking about a a hundred feet, you know . Jimmy yeah. [ laughter ] like, in other words, if its from here to here, i can walk there. [ light laughter ] i see where i have to go. Jimmy where youre gonna end up, yeah. Oh, thats where were shooting. Dj goes, hey, where are we going . And they show him. Im standing next to him, so i know he sees what i see. [ laughter ] his legs are double my size. So, its going to its going to take me a good minute to get there. He can cut that in half because his steps are bigger steps. I saw dwayne go, pull up the car. I said, what did you just say . He said, pull up the car. He said, kevin, are you going to set . I said, yeah, so are you. He says, ill see you there. He gets in the backseat of the car and starts driving. He drives by me while im walking and looks at me like im stupid. Jimmy no, no, no. I have it. You got it . Jimmy we have a clip. [ laughter ] hes driving by kevin. Hey, get the [ bleep ] out of the way. [ laughter and applause ] oh, i dont walk. Oh, im so big ugh. Get off me im the rock im the biggest movie star. Ohh. [ laughter ] [ bleep ]. Thats enough i dont walk. Thats not supposed to go the jokes not supposed to go on that long. [ laughter ] get off me ugh this is what i have to deal with on jumanji. Ugh [ cheers and applause ] jimmy its fun, man. Hes fun. You always bring the fun. You got to keep having fun. This concert film is unlike any standup concert ive ever seen in my entire life. Yeah. Jimmy congratulations on this. Thank you, man. Jimmy i just dont even know how you pulled this off. Its a stadium. Yeah. Jimmy you went to philly. I went to philadelphia. [ cheers ] and i say that with so much pride. Man, im born and raised in philadelphia, and what i wanted let me explain. We made history, did phenomenal things. Ive sold out the garden numerous amount of times, and i have fire on the stage. I came out, and there was fire. [ imitates explosion ] yeah. Jimmy yeah. Every joke i said, i said, get fire on these bitches. And the fire came. [ laughter ] and i said, what am i going to do for this one . And we thought about it, man. And i said, what if i sold out a football stadium . So we said, lets go for it. We decided to book the lincoln financial football stadium, and we sold 53,000 tickets in two weeks. And i said, well, we cant just do this. We got to capture it. Jimmy its history. This is history. So, i not only captured it, i shot it with almost 86 cameras. I put 86 cameras i had a a helicopter shot, the biggest production ever. Jimmy no, it really was a a great whoever everything. You can tell there was money behind this thing because it was like it was jimmy not like any standup i was like, a stool and a a mike, you know . Actually, your stool and a mike rises from the stage. Youre damn right it does. [ laughter and applause ] jimmy its golden you did everything right. Driveway. Behind you on the big screen, theres pictures of your its my p. O. V. , man. I wanted to make this different. I wanted to make my show a a fullfledged production. I want comed