Mens restrooms in federal buildings to have baby changing tables. [ cheers and applause ] or as most guys will call that, finally, a place where we can eat a sandwich. [ laughter and applause ] im not leaving. Actually, when dads heard theres going to be changing tables in the mens bathroom, they were like, thanks, obama. [ laughter and applause ] guess theres a new mtv documentary macklemore, obama he drank and did drugs. Adding, i pretty much tried whatever was out there. When asked what made him stop, obama said, stop . [ laughter and applause ] hey, i want to say happy 41st wedding anniversary to bill and hillary clinton. Thats right. [ cheers and applause ] happy wedding anniversary. Thats right. They celebrated with a quiet dinner, a really, really quiet dinner. [ laughter ] did you Say Something . No. Good. Thats right. Today is bill and Hillary Clintons 41st wedding anniversary. We know that theyre a little busy right now. So, we came up with some cards that they can send to each other. Steve awe. Jimmy yeah. This first ones for hillary to give bill it says, you still make me weak in the knees. [ laughter ] inside, it says, or maybe its pneumonia again. [ laughter and applause ] i mean, you can steve yeah. She can give it right to him. Jimmy yeah. She can give it right to him. Steve how kind of you. Jimmy thank you. Well, heres a card that bill can send to hillary. It says, i love you with a a fiery passion and hunger for you. Thats sweet. Inside, it says, happy birthday, diane, sorry i couldnt be with you. Its my anniversary with hillary. [ laughter and applause ] he can give it to her. . Steve diane. Jimmy heres the heres the last card. Its for hillary to give to bill. It says, i can share all my secrets with you. Open up, and it says, now please delete this card. There you go. [ laughter and applause ] can you delete a card . Seth sweet. Always thinking of others. Jimmy well, this is interesting here. A new National Poll found that democrats now have a a significant lead over republicans in the congressional races. Republicans said, and theres only one man to blame for this. And donald trump said, exactly billy bush. [ laughter and applause ] im billy bush. Of course, trump is still under fire for the lewd and offensive tape that was released last week, the one he referred to as locker room talk. Well now, pro athletes are that is not how they speak in the locker room. [ light laughter ] while tim tebow said, i dont even like to say billy bush. [ laughter and applause ] steve hey. Ho jimmy people are still talking about undecided voter, ken bone [ laughter and applause ] he went viral after the last debate. Here he is right here. Thats ken bone there. And get this, apparently the red sweater ken bone wore at the debate is now sold out on which explains this years most Popular Halloween costume, slutty ken bone. [ laughter and applause ] get to some sports. I read about a High School Football team in Washington State that has outscored its past three opponents 1700. Players are pretty psyched. The first player said, its been an amazing season. I hope to keep it up. Next player said, its been an amazing run. It feels like were unbeatable. Finally their quarterback said, sorry, guys, i have to go back [ laughter and applause ] tough break for those kids. [ cheers and applause ] check this out. An Ice Cream Company here in new york city is selling a line of alcohol infused ice creams [ cheers ] or as people going through a a breakup calls it, instant breakfast. [ laughter and applause ] finally, a man in rhode island just grew the largest pumpkin in north america weighing over mans wife no longer thinks its cute when he calls her pumpkin. [ laughter ] we have a great show tonight. Give it up for the roots [ cheers and applause ] . . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy we have a great week of shows ahead. Bryan cranston, vin diesel. John hamm will all be joining us. Plus performances from barry gibb. Has got a new record. And kings of leon. You do not want to miss it. But, first joining us tonight he is the biggest name in comedy right now. This guy has one huge hit after another. And this friday his new concert film kevin hart what now . Is in theaters everywhere. Our buddy kevin hart is here. Steve yeah [ cheers and applause ] about his new movie. Its a real passion project for him. Then he and i are going to face off in a fun new game called would you rather. Its gonna be good. [ scattered applause ] plus people are loving her new amazon series, fleabag, the very funny Phoebe Wallerbridge is joining us. [ cheers and applause ] have you seen that yet . Steve oh, its great. Jimmy great. Steve its great. Jimmy fleabag its really funny. And we got great music from james bay. [ cheers and applause ] there he is taking a nap. [ laughter ] getting ready for the show. Steve cup of coffee. Jimmy yeah, cup of i dont think its a cup of coffee. Steve its coffee. Jimmy you think so . I call him king bay. Steve really . Jimmy got queen bee . Steve king bay. Jimmy and you got king bay. Steve yeah. Jimmy bay seasoning. Old bay seasoning. Steve old bay. Bay city, man. Bay, city. Jimmy yeah, old bay city. Guys, its time to take a look at the stories making headlines today. And weigh the good with the [ cheers and applause ] . Pros and cons and pros and cons and pros . Jimmy tonight, well be taking a look at the pros and cons of going to going to a a netflix movie theater. [ light laughter ] netflix Just Announced that its going to release original movies in select theaters across the country. Yeah. Its a new move for them. So, lets take a look at the pros and cons of going to a a netflix movie theater. Mere we go. Pro, its just like watching netflix at home. Con, except you have to put on pants. [ laughter and applause ] steve you dont have to. Jimmy but you should. Steve yeah. Jimmy pro, it turns netflix into a place where hundreds of people can watch together. Con, it turns netflix and chill into an orgy. [ laughter and applause ] cant fight the future. Pro, theyll have a recently watched section. Con, so the entire theater can know youve seen all nine seasons of my little pony friendship is magic. [ applause ] thats a pretty great show. Steve its a fantastic show. Jimmy pro, netflix hopes con, or as samsung put it, be careful what you wish for. [ laughter and applause ] gotta go. Steve oh, my phone blew up. Jimmy pro, the theater will replicate the feeling of watching netflix in your own bed. Con, complete with reclining seats, pillows, and a burning hot laptop to place on your crotch. [ applause ] pro, it makes you really feel immersed in the show, narcos. Con, because you paid way too much for coke. Movies, thats how they get you. Movies. Steve every time. Jimmy yeah. Finally, pro, showing up to watch one movie. Con, ending up walking six in a a row and passing out in your chair. There you go. That is the pros and cons. Well be right back with kevin hart, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] rico thinking this must be how Odell Beckham feels when he scores a game winning touchdown. Announcer beckham scores giants touchdown crowd noise Odell Beckham thinking this must be how rico felt when he triple jumped mr. Sanchez pepsi if you didnt expect to see an applebees usda choice top sirloin searing to smoky oak perfection. Just wait until you see the price. Woodfired steak with two sides for just 9. 99. Now for a limited time. Only at applebees. An Opening Night on broadway is kind of magic. Im beowulf boritt and im a broadway set designer. When i started designing a bronx tale the musical, i came up. With this idea of four towers that were fire escapes. Essentially. Ill build a little model in photoshop and add these. Details in with a pen. I could never do that with a mac. I feel like my job is. This windows pc is amazing, having all of my tools. Right at my finger tips is incredible. You sh m hey dude. Xxxl she wants her fruit chews. Masterpassed. I masterpassed it. That was fast. . Keep on smiling with dunkins delicious reeses Peanut Butter doughnut square. Frosted with chocolate and filled with reeses Peanut Butter buttercream. Taste the fave you crave today. America runs on dunkin. Im maggie hassan, and i approve this message. Nothing matters more than our security. Thats why i hired ed plans for school safety. Support aggressive action to destroy isis. And put our security before my party opposing president obamas plan to close guantanamo. Narrator all while kelly ayotte supports reckless and dangerous donald trump. And ayotte skipped nearly half her Homeland SecurityCommittee Hearings on Border Security and drug trafficking. National security isnt a parttime job. . Right now buy one get one half off all wood blinds and cellular shades. Blinds to go. Blinds for life. Fifteen million sold in just the last 10 years and were saying thanks during blinds to gos customer apppreciation sale buy one get one half off your favorite products. We love our customers and were showing it. Blinds to go. Blinds for life. . Cozy up this fall with dunkins coffee and espresso flavors. Sip salty and sweet with our new salted caramel macchiato or drink in the season with the classic taste of pumpkin. America runs on dunkin. . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy we are joined right now by one of the most successful entertainers working today. Hes such a great guy. Hes got three hit movies this year. [ cheers ] and his worldwide standup tour last year was the highest grossing of all time. This friday, his giant new concert film, kevin hart what now . Opens in theaters everywhere. Please welcome back a good friend of the tonight show, mr. Kevin hart [ cheers and applause ] . . Jimmy kevin hart whats up . Whats up . Jimmy kevin hart. How are you, sir . Jimmy looking sharp as always, my friend. Always. Jimmy nice to see you. You as well. Jimmy thank you so much. Can i philadelphia over there, jimmy. Every time i come, i need to take a second. [ cheers ] jimmy yeah, yeah, yeah. Let me acknowledge my city. I love my city. Jimmy yeah, yeah. The roots. Hey, guys. How are you doing, fellows . Jimmy oh, good to see, yeah. Im trying to put on for the city, guys that was a moment. That was a philadelphia moment. Jimmy that was a moment. Okay, yeah, good. Im sorry about that, guys. Jimmy yeah, yeah. Dont be sorry okay. Jimmy go ahead. Yes jimmy no. [ laughter ] no, the roots are my jawn. Yeah, i mean, look, honestly [ laughter ] jimmy thats a philly thing. My jawn. Jimmy thank you. I want to say thanks so much for well, i dont want to get into too much of what we did this morning, but we shot something thats going to air thursday. Yeah. Jimmy but, man, oh last time, we went on a roller do, okay . [ laughter ] heres what makes jimmy a nice jerk, okay . [ laughter ] jimmy likes to play. He knows im not going to say no. We have a great relationship. Weve done amazing things, these things that went viral jimmy yeah. And people to love to see him. So, because of that, jimmy calls and says, kev, i got an idea. I think it would be great. And i go, jimmy, i dont think thats safe. He go, i know, but it will be good. Im like [ laughter ] but i dont know if it will. Jimmy its good tv. You know jimmys going, its great tv. Like, hes like [ laughter ] jimmy thats not how i talk. [ laughter ] it is, though. It is. What we did this morning is just honestly its crazy. Jimmy its great tv. Its the stupidest, craziest thing. Jimmy its really, really good. Its going to be bigger than the roller coaster. Jimmy it will be bigger, right . For sure its going to be bigger than the roller coaster. Jimmy lets just say yeah. Hes afraid of roller coasters, and im afraid of getting yeah, this was the reverse. Jimmy yeah. You were afraid this. Jimmy im afraid of getting yeah, getting scared. I cant wait. I got to say, you are in for a comedian. Yeah, man. Jimmy comedians arent really jacked. But this is real. Yeah. Jimmy i mean, youre jacked. [ cheers ] yeah. Whoo. Yeah. Just like that. Just like a babys thigh right there. [ laughter ] thats a babys leg right there. Thats what that is. [ laughter ] jimmy thats a big babys leg. Yeah, thats a muscular babys leg right there. [ laughter ] jimmy but you really are in great shape. That babys drinking a lot of creatine is what that babys drinking. [ laughter ] jimmy a baby lifting weights baby, yeah. But then, youre also on the cover of runners world. And this is why i love runners world, too, because they do covers like this. This is kevin hart on the cover of runners world magazine. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy can you zoom in . [ cheers and applause ] i shouldve [ light laughter ] jimmy i saw that. All right, listen. Jimmy yeah. Oh, look at this one. This is a good one. Wait, theres another cover. [ laughter and applause ] yeah, i love that. So, how cool is it that they do that . No, listen. Rs know me, man, you know that i really do embrace and endorse the healthy lifestyle. Jimmy you do. Its a part of me, and i feel like when i put my actions behind my words, it makes it so much more authentic, and people then respond to it. So the running that i do, people join me. And runners world decided for their anniversary issue to have me grace the cover because they felt like running was becoming social, and it was because of me. And i felt it it was the biggest honor ever. So thank you to runners world and thank you to everybody and thats going amazing. Jimmy got this comedy movie coming out this friday, kevin hart what now . Yes. Jimmy you have so much stuff going on. You also, uh youre Rolling Stones number one yeah. Jimmy highestpaid comedian of all time. That sounds about right. Jimmy yeah, thats [ cheers ] you have youre also producing real husbands of hollywood. That airs 9 00 p. M. Tuesdays on b. E. T. Yeah. Jimmy and then you brought me underwear today. Yes, i did. [ laughter ] i bought you underwear. Jimmy no one brings me underwear. Turn them around. Jimmy okay, im sorry. I dont know how they work. There they go right there. Right there. Tommy johns. Im a owner in tommy johns, and i felt that you need to have some. Jimmy tommy johns . Yeah, the most comfortable underwear that men can wear. Jimmy but what is this . Thats how i feel. [ laughter ] jimmy whats this . Right there, well jimmy whats the front pocket . Thats where your package goes, jimmy. Now, dont point to that one. Point to this one on the side, okay . [ laughter ] jimmy sorry. Yes, that pocket right there. Jimmy is that for your telephone . What is this . Yeah. Well, you can put your cell phone in there. I put remote controls in there. Jimmy but you put your [ laughter ] no, well, thats just an easy access, okay, if you dont feel like dealing with stuff. Jimmy the top . [ laughter ] you go from the top. Its the easy, comfortable way to flop out. Look man, im a [ laughter and applause ] what you want me to say, man . Okay . Jimmy what im trying to say is some of us cant flop out, you know what im saying . [ laughter ] jimmy, im doing a lot of flopping over here, okay . [ laughter ] theres a lot of damage going on over here. Jimmy yeah, all right, yeah. Youre also working on [ laughter ] youre also working on movies. Re yeah. Jimmy with my man, dwayne johnson, the rock. Dwayne the rock johnson. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy we love him, too. Yes, yes. Jimmy we love him. We love you. Youre just good, good people. Im so much better than him. [ laughter ] jimmy thats not lets not say that. Lets not go not like in a way where were competing, but if we were, i would be better. [ laughter ] jimmy heres what he takes a car, like, from set to set on location when youre filming jumanji. You refuse to take cars. You like to walk. [ laughter ] jimmy well, human beings are driving cars. Well, i like to use my legs when were talking about a a hundred feet, you know . Jimmy yeah. [ laughter ] like, in other words, if its from here to here, i can walk there. [ light laughter ] i see where i have to go. Jimmy where youre gonna end up, yeah. Oh, thats where were shooting. Dj goes, hey, where are we going . And they show him. Im standing next to him, so i know he sees what i see. [ laughter ] his legs are double my size. So, its going to its going to take me a good minute to get there. He can cut that in half because his steps are bigger steps. I saw dwayne go, pull up the car. I said, what did you just say . He said, pull up the car. He said, kevin, are you going to set . I said, yeah, so are you. He says, ill see you there. He gets in the backseat of the car and starts driving. He drives by me while im walking and looks at me like im stupid. Jimmy no, no, no. I have it. You got it . Jimmy we have a clip. [ laughter ] hes driving by kevin. Hey, get the [ bleep ] out of the way. [ laughter and applause ] oh, i dont walk. Oh, im so big ugh. Get off me im the rock im the biggest movie star. Ohh. [ laughter ] [ bleep ]. Thats enough i dont walk. Thats not supposed to go the jokes not supposed to go on that long. [ laughter ] get off me ugh this is what i have to deal with on jumanji. Ugh [ cheers and applause ] jimmy its fun, man. Hes fun. You always bring the fun. You got to keep having fun. This concert film is unlike any standup concert ive ever seen in my entire life. Yeah. Jimmy congratulations on this. Thank you, man. Jimmy i just dont even know how you pulled this off. Its a stadium. Yeah. Jimmy you went to philly. I went to philadelphia. [ cheers ] and i say that with so much pride. Man, im born and raised in philadelphia, and what i wanted let me explain. We made history, did phenomenal things. Ive sold out the garden numerous amount of times, and i have fire on the stage. I came out, and there was fire. [ imitates explosion ] yeah. Jimmy yeah. Every joke i said, i said, get fire on these bitches. And the fire came. [ laughter ] and i said, what am i going to do for this one . And we thought about it, man. And i said, what if i sold out a football stadium . So we said, lets go for it. We decided to book the lincoln financial football stadium, and we sold 53,000 tickets in two weeks. And i said, well, we cant just do this. We got to capture it. Jimmy its history. This is history. So, i not only captured it, i shot it with almost 86 cameras. I put 86 cameras i had a a helicopter shot, the biggest production ever. Jimmy no, it really was a a great whoever everything. You can tell there was money behind this thing because it was like it was jimmy not like any standup i was like, a stool and a a mike, you know . Actually, your stool and a mike rises from the stage. Youre damn right it does. [ laughter and applause ] jimmy its golden you did everything right. Driveway. Behind you on the big screen, theres pictures of your its my p. O. V. , man. I wanted to make this different. I wanted to make my show a a fullfledged production. I want comedy to be on the same platform as rock and roll. Jimmy yeah. Why cant i bring that type of comedic rock star to life . I said, im going to. So, everything that i did was from a rock and roll perspective. Its my p. O. V. Jimmy and go see it, yeah. When i talk about the house, the house pops up behind me. Jimmy yeah. Its amazing. Jimmy the lighting is fantastic because and i sound like trump now. The lighting is fantastic. [ laughter ] lets put it in a huge theater. It is unbelievable. [ laughter ] its very fantastic. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy keep talking like that. I know. I cant keep doing it. But it really is go see it. I recommend go see it with a a group of people because, man, theres laugh out loud, and you cheer moments. I go, oh, my gosh. Its incredible. Thank you, man. Jimmy and the opening the opening. We spoofed 007. We shot a montage. Directed by tim story, a good friend of mine. I know hes a good friend of yours, man. Jimmy i love tim story so much. Directed movies for both of us. I had halle berry. Jimmy halle berry is hilarious. Shes unbelievably funny in the movie. Jimmy and don cheadle. Hes great. Jimmy come on. Chris rock did a favor for me. I mean, i got listen. Theres big surprises. When i tell you the movie does not disappoint. Its my best standup work to date, guys. Go see it. Get up, get out this weekend, and go see what now . Jimmy we have a clip. [ cheers and applause ] heres kevin hart in front of 50,000 of his hometown fans in philadelphia in the big new movie, kevin hart what now . In this theaters this friday. Check it. I got some of my friends over my house that i grew up with. We in the kitchen. Conversation about our past. I hear my son coming down the steps. I hear his flipflops popping. [ imitates popping ] [ laughter ] they popping fast. [ imitates popping ] that mean he walking with a a purpose. Somethings wrong. He get downstairs, he got a a attitude. Dad [ laughter ] wifis down. [ laughter ] because nobody else seems to care. [ laughter ] now, i dont know what made me more upset, that, or my friend going, whos wifi . [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy wifis down. Yes. Jimmy thats great. Thats a real problem. Right, man. Real problems at my house. Jimmy real problems, yeah. Wifis down. Private school kid problems. Jimmy we always like to try out new games with you. We have a big new one tonight, you want to play it . Oh, why would i not play it . Jimmy kevin hart and i are playing a big new game called stick around, everybody [ cheers and applause ] . . Sing girl, come on. . [ singing ] . Sorry, ariana you gotta go. Seriously . Verizon limits me and i gotta get home. Umm. That way. Girl you better get on tmobile why pay more for data limits . Introducing tmobile one, unlimited data for everyone. Get four lines just 35 a month. Whatcha got there . New cheezit sandwich crackers made with real cheese ummmm. Sammiches sandwich with a d sammich. Sandwich Sammich Sammich see ahahaha we take time for our cheese to mature, in our new cheezit sandwich crackers. Sammiches. Electrical charges live at the heart of every hybrid. Only a few. Truly move us. With over one million on the road, lexus hybrids are [ 80s music ] can i get anyone a beer . 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[ cheers and applause ] and from the new movie, kevin hart what now . Its kevin hart [ cheers and applause ] you know how this game works. We polled the audience, and if you can guess what theyd rather do, you win that round. Kevin, the first dilemma is for you. We asked our studio audience, would you rather be able to sing better than beyonce or run faster than usain bolt . Kevin, which answer did People Choose . Okay. Well, you got to look at the audience, you know . [ laughter ] this doesnt look like an audience that wants to sing. You know, you guys look like a a bunch of people that need to jimmy no, no. Yeah, yeah. Jimmy i think they look like performers and entertainers. These people want to be fast. These people want the speed of lightning. They want to be faster than usain bolt. Thats what im saying. Steve lets see what the audience says. 64 to sing better than beyonce. [ applause ] jimmy oh what is wrong with you people . Jimmy oh, come on what is wrong with you people . Jimmy we dont want to run. Wed rather just sing. Thats the stupidest thing ive ever seen. [ laughter ] jimmy hey, come on. Steve next questions for jimmy. Jimmy yes. Stevemm audience, would you rather jimmy i know my audience. I love my audience. [ cheers and applause ] steve would you rather be trapped in Jurassic Park or compete in the hunger games . Which one did more People Choose . Jimmy thats an easy thats so easy because by the way, i was in jurassic world. Thats the they would much rather be trapped in Jurassic Park. Yeah. Jimmy why are you trying to talk me [ light laughter ] im not trying to talk you into nothing. I looked at one guy when they [ laughter ] jimmy im going to definitely say trapped in Jurassic Park. Steve lets see what the audience said. 60 . Yeah. [ cheers and applause ] . Jimmy i love you guys. I feel it. I feel that. I know, i know. Steve kevin, next question goes to you. Yes. Steve we asked the audience, would you rather have a clone of yourself that you can boss around jimmy sure. [ light laughter ] who can talk . Whoa. Thats tough. Steve choice is yours, kevin. Thats tough. Jimmy look how cute the dog is. Thats tough. Wait a minute. Does anybody else hear a dog talk . Like other people can understand the dog . Jimmy yeah. A pet that can talk. Wait. Jimmy so other people can hear the dog. If i have a clone of myself, does he get to do the bad things that i wish i could do that i cant do . Steve well, you can only boss them around. If im like, go rob that bank and come back with the money, he can do it . Steve or dogs that can talk. All right, kevin, what is your answer . A dog that can talk. A dog that can talk. Steve lets see what the audience says. [ cheers and applause ] dog that can talk. [ cheers and applause ] . Steve okay. It is a barn burner. Jimmy, youre up next. Jimmy yep, here we go. We asked the tonight show audience, would you rather oh, i know the answer. [ laughter ] steve be stuck doing a a Robert De Niro impression for a Jerry Seinfeld impression for the rest of your life . Oh, wow. Steve which one did more People Choose . Wow. [ light laughter ] [ as seinfeld ] jimmy id be doing this all the time. You do this i got to say, i think theyd rather be seinfeld. [ cheers ] yes wrong. Steve yes [ cheers and applause ] [ thunder clap ] you know what that means, of course. Jimmy rain . Steve its time for the final dilemma. Final dilemma. This question is for you, kevin. Oh, wow. Steve you get it right, you win. You get it wrong, jimmy wins. I i just pooped a little bit. Jimmy and the loser . [ laughter ] a little bit. Just a little bit. Steve all depends. Now, the loser must choose one of the two dreaded punishments waiting for them at tonight oh man. Cmon, man. Steve kevin, here is your question. We asked the tonight show audience, would you rather be able to see into the future or read other peoples minds . Final choice is yours, kevin. See into the future or read other peoples minds . Steve yes. If i can read your mind, cant i technically see the future . Steve no, you can see the present. That would be seeing the exact present. See into the future or read what not to do because i know whats coming. If i read your mind, doesnt mean i know what you did for that moment. Steve exactly. You know what . Okay. Okay. See into the future. Steve lets see what the audience says. [ cheers and applause ] see into the future yes go to the loser table. Are you ready . J table . What do i have to do . What do i have to do . Im so glad this wasnt me. Jimmy what do i have to do . Steve okay, you must choose your punishment, jimmy. You have two choices. One is you pick up these worms with your bare hands and hold them for ten seconds. Or number dos [ screaming ] eat a cricket. [ audience ohs ] the choice is yours. Oh. Oh. Jimmy you want to eat one with me . No, i aint gonna eat no cricket. Oh, no. Jimmy oh. I knew you guys were going to pick crickets. Oh no, jimmy. Steve dont eat me. No. Jimmy all right. [ cheers and applause ] . Oh. Ohh [ applause ] jimmy youre the worst friend ever and so are you. Steve kevin hart, everybody [ cheers and applause ] jimmy go see kevin hart what now . In theaters this friday. More tonight show after the break. Stick around . Weve just been hearing so much about how youre a digital company, yet here you are building a jet engine. Well, ge is digital and industrial. Like Peanut Butter and jelly. Yeah. Ham and cheese. Cops and robbers. Yeah. Nachos and karate. Ahh. Not that one so much. Socks and shoes. Thats not fair, he should give you your rollerblades back. And, shes back. Storm coming . A very dangerous cheese storm. With the blue cash everyday card from American Express you get cash back on this. Mouth toys. 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[ cheers and applause ] jimmy our next guest created and stars in the hilarious new amazon series, fleabag. Give a warm welcome to the very funny Phoebe Wallerbridge. [ cheers and applause ] . Jimmy welcome hello. My gosh, this is amazing. Jimmy im so happy that youre here. This is great. I cant even believe it. Jimmy wow, really . Well, believe it. Its happening. You look gorgeous. Thats the roots. Yeah. Its amazing. [ light laughter ] i cant believe it. Jimmy yeah. Do they play would you rather in england . Did you ever play that game . Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Jimmy so would you like to play . I can give you a quick question right now. Okay, yeah. Try me. Jimmy would you rather one horsesized duck . [ light laughter ] without question jimmy without question without question or well, a minor hesitation, a a horsesized duck. Jimmy you would fight a a horsesized duck . I like to think id be able to turn her and then fly off on her. [ laughter ] and jimmy oh, ive heard oh, see . Yeah. And together, wed fight all the little tiny ones. Jimmy youd fight crime, yeah. Coming out. I was telling you backstage how much i love fleabag. Ive only seen the First Episode right now because i like to space it out. Im not a binge yea, yeah. Jimmy i dont binge. I like to take my time and i tell everybody about the show and everyone i tell, theyre like, its the best thing. So im kind of living off your goodness. Oh, great. Hows that going . Is that good . Jimmy yeah, yeah. Because your comedy is great. Everybody is like, dude, i love that show. I go, yeah, its okay. I worked really hard on it. Its super fun. Were you always did you always want to be on camera or yeah, i mean, i was a very attentionseeking, irritating child and i think that kind of manifested into a career in the same thing. Jimmy yeah. Yeah, i was always wanted to be an actor. Then, a writer as well. I was writing well very sort of scratchy, weird, very weird poetry and stuff as a child. Jimmy so, you did writing as well, and then this started as a onewoman show . Yeah, yeah. Jimmy and howd you come up with it . How did it start . It s Something Like the opening line of the play was, three nights ago i ordered myself a very slutty pizza. Jimmy yeah, what is a a slutty pizza . For me, it was sort of just quite obviously like a really dirty, like, drippy, cheesy, oily, little tart of a slice of pizza. [ laughter ] come on. One that wants to be eaten so badly. Jimmy oh yeah. That one. Jimmy that one. That one. That pizza. Based on your adventures, this show, fleabag, or not . Most some some of it. Jimmy yeah. You want to tell us yeah, some bits are from my life. Jimmy like your dating adventures and dealing with yeah. I mean, not in the show, my best friend and mother are dead. They are not in real life. They are safe and well, and my best friends actually here tonight. So thats proof that shes fine. [ cheers ] so, the kind of kind of dramatic side of it isnt true but a lot of the kind of humiliating, hilarious stories are lifted completely from my life. Jimmy do you find yourself wanting to break the fourth wall all the time . Because thats what you do. In the scene some awkward scene will happen, and you look at the camera like, well, you know, and you just talk to the audience. Yeah, yeah. Jimmy and its so good. Its so well done. Its very well directed and well written. Congrats on this. But do you find yourself going, i wish right i could look at the camera and just Say Something . I do get a little, like i camera, it looks very kind of very awkward and odd. Jimmy what did fleabag come from . What is it its actually my family nickname, which is a dangerous thing to admit. Because it implies that i am fleabag, which im not. But i just thought the name i have a lot of affection for that word because it was my family nickname but also it means kind of like fleabitten, grossed out, kind of creature. I dont know how to define it. But it is it gave a nice jimmy its just hilarious and you play it so well and youre just very i everyone loves you when they see the show. Thank you. Jimmy heres a poster for fleabag. Looks very sad. [ applause ] you dont look so happy there, but its a very its a very funny, funny show. Thats me watching the show. Jimmy yeah. But its very, very funny. I just will say that. Well, theres so many things. Havent seen it. I have a clip here from fleabag. Check this out. The only thing harder than having to tell your super highpowered, perfect, anorexic rich super sister that youve run out of money is having to ask her to bail you out. Just going to ask her. Im just going to ask her. Im just going to ask her. Im just going to come no. Cant do it, cant do it, cant do it. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy come on, thats so good. I love that. You have great timing. Phoebe wallerbridge, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] the entire first season of fleabag is available now on amazon prime video. Music from james bay when we come back. Come back, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] applebees usda choice top sirloin isnt just a top choice cut of meat. For under 10 bucks, its a top choice for your wallet. Applebees new handcut, wood fired grilled steak. Now only 9. 99 for a limited time. Retiring retired tires. And i never get tired of it. Are you entirely prepared to retire . Plan your never tiring retiring retired tires retirement with e trade. Im in vests and as a vested investor in vests i invest with e trade, where investors can investigate and invest in vests. Or not in vests. Sign up at etrade. Com and get up to six hundred dollars. . . You dont own me . . Dont try to change me in any way . . Oh . . Dont tell me what to do . . Just let me be myself . . 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Dont start humira if you have an infection. Ask about humira, the 1 prescribed biologic by dermatologists. [ 80s music ] can i get anyone a beer . Make it a redds apple ale redds apple ale. Also for a limited time in ginger apple. Cheezit gro you mean like they got married . Umm. I guess. Youd make a pretty bride in that wedding gown. Oh, its a lab coat so. Hey everyone, joes getting married bam bam ba bam. Oh, im not. We take time for our cheese to mature. . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy our next guest has had a big year, earning three grammy nominations and winning male solo artist. Performing hold back the river off his album, chaos and the calm, please welcome james bay. [ cheers and applause ] . . Tried to keep you close to me but life got in between . . Tried to square not being in there but think that i shouldve been . . Hold back the river let me look in your eyes hold back the river so i . . Can stop for a minute and see where you hide hold back the river hold back . . We rode our bikes into the sky . . But now were caught against the tide those distant days all flashing by . . Hold back the river let me look in your eyes hold back the river so i . . Can stop for a minute and be by your side hold back the river hold back . . Lonely water lonely water wont you let us wander let us hold each other . . Lonely water let us hold each other . . Hold back the river let me look in your eyes hold back the river so i . . Can stop for a minute and be by your side hold back the river hold back . . Hold back the river let me look in your eyes hold back the river so i . . Can stop for a nu and be by your side hold back the river hold . . Lonely water lonely water wont you let us wander let us hold each other . Okay, let me see your hands up come on . Lonely water lonely water let us hold each other . . Lonely water lonely water wont you let us wander . Come on . Let us hold each other . . Lonely water lonely water wont you let us wander put your hands up . Lonely water lonely water wont you let us wander let us hold each other . . Jimmy great thats how you do it thats how you do it, buddy james bay [ cheers and applause ] chaos and the calm is out now. Well be right back, everybody thats how you do it. [ cheers and applause ] special interests that oppose question 2 claim district schools lose money to Charter Schools. Thats absurd, says the boston herald. Outright lies, reports the lowell sun. Charter schools dont siphon off state dollars from traditional schools, says the boston globe. In fact, Public Schools get more money. The truth is question 2 will give parents more choices blic education. Please vote yes on question 2. . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy my thanks to kevin hart, Phoebe Wallerbridge, james bay once again [ cheers and applause ] and the roots ri stay tuned for late night with seth meyers. Thank you for watching. Have a great night. Hope to see you tomorrow. Byebye, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] . Announcer from the warner theater in washington d. C. , its late night with seth meyers. Tonight lena dunahm. Stars of broadways oh hello, nick kroll and john mulaney. Featuring the 8g band with thaddeus dixon, corey glover, and vernon reid. [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. Seth good evening everybody, im seth meyers. This is late night from the warner theater in washington d. C. How is everybody doing tonight . [ cheers and applause ] all right. We are so very honored and excited to be here. And lets get to the news. Donald trump tweeted earlier today, quote, it is so nice taken off me and i can now fight for america the way i want to. What shackles are talking about . [ laughter ] the only thing that ever shackled you was the 140 character limit on twitter. [ laughter ] and now and now youre going to fight for america . Hey, buddy, youre not rosa parks. [ laughter ] you know how i know . People liked what rosa parks said on the bus. [ cheers a huge difference. Hillary clinton campaigned in florida today with al gore. Youre making al gore go back to florida . [ laughter ] thats so cruel. Thats like making joe frazier go back to manila. [ laughter ] donald trump told his supporters at a Campaign Event in pennsylvania last night, quote, i may be limping across that