on you. you probably done stole everything, right? >> you ain't snuck up on nothing, old man. i heard your little loud shirt coming down the driveway. >> tanya's here to help will since everybody's busy, mr. brown. >> cora, them kids would be safer running through a crack house with a money suit on. she ain't going to help nobody. >> hey, morning, everybody. wow. something smells good. >> will, be careful. that's crack soup. nephew, be careful. back away. it's crack. >> it is not. i taught tanya how to make chicken and dumplings. >> yeah, and i hope it tastes as good as yours, miss cora. here, taste it, will. taste it. it's real good. >> don't get addicted. you high? >> what you think? >> that's good. >> ooh! who ever knew that girl could burn like that, huh? >> half the prison population in georgia know she can burn like that. she's making grilled cheese sandwiches on an ironing board in prison. >> mr. brown-- >> r. brown, hush up. i got your mail for you, too. >> aren't you the happy little home wrecker. >> it's "homemaker." >> cora, it's "home wrecker." i know what i'm trying to say. she ain't fooling me. she probably got this laced with some amtraks. >> amtrak? >> what the what? >> what is it? >> they done sent me a picture ticket. they're trying to say i ran through a red light, nephew. how are they gonna even tell if that's me? how they know if that's me? >> uncle brown, you have on the same outfit you got on right now. [cora laughs] >> that ain't nothing. that--somebody can be out there improstituting me. you know how many people dress like this? >> nobody! >> haters. oh, y'all are just haters. >> mr. brown, i'd just ignore that ticket. >> that's 'cause you used to being on the wrong side of the law. >> mr. brown, all you have to do is just go to traffic school, and they'll wipe that ticket right out. >> traffic school, miss cora? no, you're doing too much. >> what you mean? >> no, i got a cop friend. he'll wipe that ticket out. all you need is a blond wig, a bustier, and a can-do attitude. >> oh, god. >> settle down, settle down. welcome to defensive driving class. you all have one thing in common. y'all's driving sucks! mr. brown. >> you can see me? >> thank you for joining us. >> how did you know it was me? >> we have a large photo of you downtown at the station. most people think that you're a figment of our imagination, like the easter bunny or the loch ness monster or a faithful man. sit down, mr. brown. >> speaking of nets, i like your hair. derek, what you doing here? >> improper use of hand signals. apparently, you can't do this to a cop. >> don't i know you from somewhere? >> uh--that depends. if it gets me out of this class, then, yes, you do. >> oh. [chuckles] >> girl, how have you been? >> oh, i'm wonderful. how are you? >> can i leave? >> i got bras older than you. sit down. >> scary. psst, derek. i want to move over there. he mean. >> there's no room. >> there is room over here-- >> stay over there. >> he gonna kill me. >> the teacher will see you. move! >> silence! >> peace. >> psst. hey, sexy. >> you can't even see this far. look, you-- >> i'm hattie. >> i bet you sing bass in the choir. >> i drive a mustang. >> you mean a horse or a car? >> oh-- [mr. brown imitates horse neighing] >> attention! >> yes? >> what is the first thing you do when your brakes go out? >> you just start screaming--oh, lord! oh, lord! oh, lord! we're going to die! [imitates tires screeching] >> he's just having a seizure. >> then you check and make sure you got on clean underwear. >> why is that important, mr. brown? >> well, 'cause my mama always told me, "boy, you done had them drawers on 3 days. you better change them before you have an accident and you have to go to the house pillar." >> human sexuality? that's disgusting. >> hey, uh, renee, can you do me a--renee? >> what's up? >> can you do me a favor? >> i know. you want to kiss me--to get back at sasha. but that ain't gonna work. >> good. >> no, we should have sex. that'll fix her. come on. undo-- >> uh--or, you could get mr. day's chart for me. >> all right, just trying to take one for the team, but, okay. >> thanks. >> good afternoon, dr. brown. >> oh, hey. >> renee, could you pull me mr. wright's chart, please? >> why are you all treating me like one of you all's little foster kids? >> i see that your shirt's ironed today. cora do that for you? >> no, cora's been too busy. >> oh, well, i know you didn't do it. >> nope. >> will, did you hire help? >> ha ha. no, i didn't hire any help. >> will. hi. oh, my gosh. you left in such a rush this morning that you forgot the lunch i prepared for you. >> tanya? [ man ] every corner, every week! let me just say something. we all got a choice to make. and we can keep focusing on the bad... dwell on the bad, talk about the bad... or, or...we can focus in on the good. i want to give it up for good. give it up for what is good. what can be good. what will be good in our communities. now who's with me? perfectly bite-sized drops of rich and creamy chocolate happiness. when the chocolate is hershey's, life is delicious. >> oh, hey, boo. will, take this. take this. i did not slave over that stove last night for you for nothing, all right? come on. >> last night? >> you know, tanya's been helping out at the house. >> mm-hmm. >> anyway, you got that chart? >> mm-hmm. here you go, dr. player. >> can you do something with this, please? thank you. see you later. >> okay. >> okay. >> this is getting messy. >> so, i see that you are ironing now. >> oh, well, you know, somebody had to do it. >> oh, that's so funny, because i never saw you as the domestic type. >> oh, really? oh, my gosh, 'cause i never saw you as the hoe-ing type. >> nurse's station--call you back. >> well, i certainly hope you're enjoying playing house with my husband. >> sasha, it's not even like that. all right, sasha, you know what? listen, will is helping me out, and i'm helping him out. >> oh, i'll bet. >> mm-hmm, i'll bet, too. >> who is this chicken head? >> well, hold up, shawshank. i got acrylics. i ain't afraid to use them. >> renee, stay out of this! >> yeah, ne-ne, don't make me have to jump across this desk and punch a little mud hole up in your flat butt. >> oh, yeah. well, sorry. everybody can't be half amazon and half donkey. hee-haw, hee-haw. >> all right, smurfette jones, i'm telling you, i'll take that little press and curl, and i'll sling you all over this hospital! >> tanya-- >> you don't know who you're dealing with! >> tanya-- >> how are you gonna do all that with my size 8 up in your mouth? >> all right, all right, you better be glad i'm on parole. i'm telling you-- >> tanya, renee-- >> hmm? >> i got this. >> you got what? what you gonna do, bougie? you know what? that's okay. just call me. 'cause i'm a ride-or-die nurse. >> she better be glad i'm still on parole. >> well, i'll be back home soon, tanya, so don't get too comfortable in my life. >> ooh, you mean the one that you kissed goodbye? mwah. i'll see what i can do. ♪ oh, skip, skip skip to my lou ♪ >> okay, listen up. these 4 chairs represent an automobile. i need two volunteers, please, from the class. >> i'll do it. i'll--i'll do it. >> please--please, anybody else. >> i got both hands up. i'm two people. >> okay, fine. mr. brown, come on. >> okay. >> do not touch anything. >> oh, it'll be just like i don't even have hands. >> girl, i don't know why you don't have a license, 'cause you are driving me crazy. >> lover boy, you're up. >> huh? >> up. now i know where i know you from. you took out my baby sister, dejah, and you never called her again. >> dejah? oh. oh! oh! oh! >> after you dumped her, she cut all her hair off. >> she finally started shaving? dang. >> sit down. >> all right. >> you're driving, mr. brown. ms. hattie, get in the backseat, please. >> ow! >> you can't ride with us. we gonna drop her off at the animal shelter. >> hey, can we put the other girl in the car so we can balance out the ugly? >> yes, baby. >> come on, girl. >> god, i can't look at her in this mirror like--look at that! what the what? >> start the car, mr. brown. >> okay. [imitates car engine noises] it's the starter. [both make revving noises] listen to it. >> we're only going to the store, mr. brown, not the indy 500. >> okay, okay. mm-hmm. >> you pull to a stop sign. what happens? >> oh, yeah, baby. >> make it bounce. make it bounce. yeah! bounce it high! >> oh! >> yeah! >> what--what are you doing? >> all right, make it bounce, baby! >> what are you doing? >> i'm flipping switch, baby. bam! >> oh, yeah. >> look at that--3 wheels. ah! [mr. brown laughs] >> stop it! now, a police cruiser comes slowly up behind you. what do you do? >> it's the po-po! throw the stuff out! throw the stuff out! i'm not going down by myself! we've been caught up in a low speed chase! >> oh, man! the ghetto bird! we on tv! >> hey, cora, she's not with me! she's not with me! >> p-l-a-t-o. plato. who's plato? >> oh, son, that's easy. plato was that dude that kicked it with mickey and goofy. >> oh. >> he is not. plato is a greek philosopher, sweetheart. >> a greek philosopher? >> yes. >> why would a greek philosopher want to hang out with mickey and goofy? i mean, that doesn't make any sense. what are you all teaching these kids? >> what? what are you talking about? joaquin, come on, let's go upstairs so i can help you with your homework. >> mm-hmm. >> come on, sweetie. >> well, i hope he don't get a f. >> what? huh. >> what are you doing? >> writing a letter. >> what you writing? >> this chick in my daggone anger management class tried to steal my sunflower seeds, and i got to write a letter to make amends. >> we all know how you feel about your sunflower seeds. >> okay. >> wait, so you actually walked away from a fight? >> no, i didn't say all that. i mean, she ran. i tried to catch her. huh, i got to get in better shape. wow, i hadn't made you laugh in a long time. >> yeah. it's good to see you trying. >> thanks, thanks. hey, you better go up there and help your brother with his homework, because miss cora thinks that plato is some greek philosopher. and she's supposed to be a schoolteacher. ha ha. please. wow! well, isn't this a role reversal. would you like to come into my home? >> before you start, i didn't come here to fight. >> good, 'cause i'm already writing one letter. >> is will around? >> yes, he is. would you like for me to get him for you? yes. willie? willie baby! you think he heard me? >> the neighbors heard you, tanya. >> hmm. what? what's going on? >> you have a visitor. >> is that how you guys announce it up in lockdown? >> hey, will. >> hey. [tanya whistles] >> okay. well, you know what? i hate to miss a tender moment, but i'm gonna go have some drinks with my friends from a.a. well, if you need me, call me, willie. and can you give the kids a kiss for me, all right? bye, cutie patootie booty. >> hmm. why couldn't she just use her key? >> why would she have a key? i mean, like, if you're fishing, you can stop. >> no, will, i didn't come to fish, i came to talk. >> talk about what? >> how are the kids? >> they're fine. >> yeah? well, joaquin told me about brianna's tiny shirt incident. >> yeah, and it was handled. >> i know. yeah, it seems like you've been handling everything around here pretty well. >> i don't have a choice. >> yes, you do, will. but don't you think i have been punished for long enough? i made a stupid, stupid mistake, and that's all it was. >> to me, it was betrayal. >> i give you that, will, but how do we get past it? >> sasha, i needed you. i needed you and you weren't there. >> you wouldn't let me be there! will, from the time you got suspended, you shut me out. and then when you wanted to talk, you called your mama and your ex-fiancee. >> i didn't call my mother or my fiancee. >> you talked to everybody but me. i was there the whole time, will, but you didn't see me. >> so you got with troy? >> for the last time, i was simply talking to that man, and he got the wrong idea. >> whatever. whose fault was that? look, it's getting late. you--you want to see the kids, or what? >> go to hell, will. >> psst, derek, what's the answer to number 1? give me the answer to number 1. hurry up. >> c. >> c? okay. what's the answer to number 2? give me number 2. i got to go number 2. >> a. >> a? as in "apple"? >> a. >> 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, and 15. >> who's talking? >> you're talking. >> why'd you-- >> what is this? >> it's paper. >> these are my answers! >> shut up! let me see number 1. >> where did this come from? where did this come from? >> from the paper factory. see, they cut down trees and then they make-- >> mr. brown! >> derek threw the paper at me! and i said, "derek, don't touch--"-- >> derek? >> you threw that paper. >> but--but-- >> out of my class. >> what? >> now. >> i can't believe this. >> out of my class. i'm--you ought to be-- >> shame! >> call me. >> you're shaming yourself. >> thank you. >> the shame--these kids nowadays will steal if you-- >> mr. brown, why was he sending you the answers? >> 'cause he's jealous of me. i think it's that dark skinned/light skinned thing. that--he's just jealous. >> mr. brown, i don't know what i'm going to do with you. i really don't. >> i can think of something to do with you. [mr. brown coughs] >> i still can't believe you sold me out in driver's class like that! >> well, you don't get to be my age without having a few tricks up your sleeve, young whippersnapper. >> hmm. well, how'd you pass the test? >> oh, that was easy. i made a deal with the instructor. >> a deal? >> yeah, a deal. i told her if she gave me a passing grade, i'd give her a little something on the side. >> what did you have to give her? >> you. [doorbell rings] >> get the door. >> me? >> yes, you. >> dejah? oh! >> surprise! take one for the team. be careful. ooh, ooh. uh-oh. uh-oh! she bit him, she bit him. bit him right in the face. whoa! >> i'm not afraid to ask older girls for they phone numbers, unlike somebody else i know. i just walk up to 'em. i just be like, "yo, baby. yo, yo, yo, baby." "baby, you gonna give me your digits, or what?" you know? that's just how i do. yeah yeah, they walk away. look, but, see, they walk away smiling. yeah. all right, let me go ask him. hey, dad, can kevin spend the night? >> yeah. >> no. >> i believe he was talking to me. >> he couldn't have been talking to you. you a visitor. i don't see your name on the mortgage, on the light bill, on the gas. i don't see your name anywhere on these bills. now, you a long-term visitor, but a visitor, nonetheless. >> curtis, stop it. >> baby, i'm serious. i keep telling him the house is over capacity. now the last time you had a friend come over here, you stole the motorcycle. and i said no. >> malik, it's fine. kevin can spend the night. >> thank you, auntie ella. >> does my word mean anything, ella? >> no, not when it does not agree with me. put these towels over there. >> good morning, family. >> don't you mean good afternoon? >> i was tired, pops. i had a hot date with miranda last night that went into overtime. >> if your overtime doesn't include a check and benefits, i don't want to hear about it. >> well, it didn't come with a check, but it definitely came with benefits. [ laughs ] >> okay, you know what, calvin? now, i'm serious. you gotta do something, brother, because i'm not here to support a grown man, okay? so you are gonna have to get a job. >> calvin, your father is right. since you did not graduate, play time is over. >> hold on. it's bad enough i have to move back home. now i got to get a job, too? >> and a real one. i'm not talking about one of those quick get rich hustles. >> that's right. it's time to man up, brother. be a man. >> you right. you right, c.j. i'm gonna look for a job today, right after i get my nap. >> curtis. >> hmm? >> okay, baby, what you doing? >> don't worry. i got this. >> curtis, wait now. >> he's trying to get some rest. you gonna wake him up. he's trying to rest. >> thank you, pop. >> you're welcome. and after i give him this concussion, he gonna rest real good. >> wait a minute. wait, wait, wait. >> don't run. now, don't run. come on. >> pop. >> curtis! when you realize you need to switch to verizon, it's a reality check. i had my reality check when i'd be sitting there with my friends who had their verizon phones and i'd be sitting there like "mine's still loading!" i couldn't get email. i couldn't stream movies. i couldn't upload any of our music. that's when i decided to switch. now that i'm on verizon, everything moves fast. with verizon, i have that reliability. i'm completely happy with verizon. verizon's 4g lte is the most reliable and in more places than any other 4g network. period. that's powerful. verizon. get the nokia lumia 928 for free. people have been daring them to clean up tough messes. my fans think a paper towel can't handle this. ♪ that is tough when wet. [ peggy ] grab viva and break the rules on all your tough messes. [ peggy ] grab viva and break the rules all the goodness of milk, all the deliciousness of hershey's syrup. >> man, come on, kevin. you don't want none of this. >> i keep telling you, don't bring that star stuff in here. i'll smack it all the way to karetha house. >> man, your defense so weak, the only "d" you get is on your report card, man. >> see, keep talking out of that mouth. show me something. >> all right, i'm gonna show you something. oh! look at that. >> i let you do that. >> you let me just break your ankles? you want to see that again in slow...motion? >> that's why i won't even play with you anymore. >> malik? >> yeah. >> there is no maid around here. you and kevin left two plates on the table. go move them. >> actually, it's three plates. >> uncle curtis, i gotta clean your plate, too? >> watch it, watch it, watch it. >> uh-oh! >> ah! >> uh-oh! >> calvin! >> look at him! where you going, boy? >> guess who's got not one, not two, but three job interviews lined up for today? >> wait, wait. i'm talking about real jobs, right? i'm talking places that validate. >> yeah. >> thank you! >> aw, praise him, baby! curtis. >> thank you! >> i went ahead and took you and mom's advice, sent a bunch of résumés out online, and boom! >> boom! boom! boom, boom, baby. boom, boom, boom, baby. >> boom! boom! >> that's wonderful! >> i got a few job interviews. >> oh, show me. show me, show me, show me. >> curtis. don't play. now, you going too far. >> show me, show me, show me. >> how far do you have to go, baby? >> well, one's downtown, and the other two are in buckhead. >> oh, well, then, you need to go before you're late. wait, wait, wait. do you have your résumés? >> they're right here. >> you got directions? >> yeah. >> pencils, pens, and paper? >> baby, baby. he going to a job interview, not elementary school. >> okay, okay. baby, listen, before you get on the freeway, potty. >> oh, yeah. good looking out. be breezy. >> curtis. i don't know about this, but somebody has been trampling all in my plants. >> oh, baby -- them kids. them kids. i'll get 'em. i'll get 'em. >> good. >> whew! >> do not tell me that none of your interviews went well. >> well, the first two went okay, but the last one, the one i really wanted, it was tough. >> baby, what happened? >> well, the guy interviewed me for over an hour, and, man, after all that, you know what he said to me? >> i don't even want to know what he said. >> he looked me in my eyes and said, "when can you start?" >> that means you got the job. that means you got the job? >> yep, pops, i got the job. >> he got the job. baby, he got the -- >> ah! >> he got the... >> curtis. are you crying? >> no, i'm not crying. >> you are crying! >> okay, well, hell yeah, i'm crying, okay? >> so, where will you be working? >> you're looking at the newest employee for l.f. johnson and associates. >> [ crying ] l.f. johnson and associates. [ babbling ] >> it's an investment firm downtown. >> it's an investment firm downtown. >> curtis. >> [ babbling ] >> baby, stop playing. >> baby, this makes me feel so good. it's a good day. you know what this means? that means he can save money. he can save money. i can save money. no more college bills. no more of his car insurance. no more manis, no more pedis. >> whoo! no more facials. >> no more facials? >> mm-hmm. when do you start? >> tomorrow. >> all right. well, we have got to give you the dos and don'ts for the first day. >> oh, yeah. good idea. >> have a seat. >> good idea, baby. >> okay, on your first day, you need to be the first one there and the last one to leave. >> that's a good one. matter of fact, you need to go on over there. go park in the parking lot and just sleep overnight. you should be there. >> no, no, don't smile. some people think smiling is a form of weakness. >> oh, that's true. you got to be hard. >> hard. >> you gotta be hard. here. like this. look like you in pain. >> i'm hard. >> hold your head up. >> i'm here to work and i'm hard. >> you gotta look like that on your first day. >> all day. and, look, do not flirt with the co-workers, okay? 'cause they can get you with sexual harassment. >> oh, hold up. it's okay if they flirt with me first, right? >> no, it's never okay if you want to keep your little job. >> wait, wait, wait. hold up. maybe i shouldn't take this job, then. >> curtis! >> you be hard. be hard. >> thank you. >> be hard. >> i'm gonna be hard. >> you be hard. put your mouth over your teeth. >> how you gonna walk, babe? >> walk hard. >> i'm walkin' in... >> hey, you. how you gonna walk, babe? show 'em how to walk, babe. >> i'm here. >> you here. >> you're walking too fast. come up slow. >> this the plan. the girls said we need to meet them 30 minutes before the movie starts, okay? so we really need to leave sooner. >> hold on, hold on. are you sure your dad will let us go by ourselves? because we cannot let the girls see your dad dropping us off. >> you're right about that one. you know what, when he comes in, let's be nice to him. compliment him. he likes that. >> i can do that. >> hey, what's up, fellas? >> hey, mr. payne. >> hey. >> you know, i like your shirt. it's a nice color for you. you know, it really brings out your eyes. >> kevin, it's a uniform shirt. >> i know. i just like how it matches your pants. >> like i said, kevin, it's a uniform. >> it's a nice uniform. >> okay, kevin, calm down. >> what's going on with you? what you guys want? >> oh, we don't want nothing. we just want to go for a walk, get some fresh air, you know? might even just stop by the movies. >> so y'all want to meet some girls, and you don't want the girls to see me dropping you off at the movies. >> come on, dad. why would we do that to you, huh? come on, man! we gotta stick together, man. i ain't even gonna play you like that, man. >> yeah. >> man, why would i even do -- yeah, you right. that's what we want to do. >> yeah, okay. here you go. here's a couple of extra dollars. bring me back some candy. >> okay, wait a minute, dad. this is $30. >> you can't go to the movies with 30 bucks? >> no. >> in my day, we went to the movies with 50 cents. >> okay, no sound and no color. >> that's right, and make sure you come back right after the movies, too. >> all right. >> but you know, mr. payne, i really do like your shirt. >> okay, kevin, you're starting to scare me. >> all right, fellas. [ cellphone rings ] hey, tanya, i was just about to call you. yeah, jazmine and janine went to do the girl scout thing, and the boys just left to go to the movies. i was thinking we could get together. you cool with that? i'm gonna jump in the shower. i'll meet you right there -- [ tires screeching ] >> kevin! >> malik! malik! license and registration please. what's this? uhh, it's my geico insurance id card, sir. it's digital, uh, pretty cool right? maybe. you know why i pulled you over today? because i'm a pig driving a convertible? tail light's out.. fix it. digital insurance id cards. just a click away with the geico mobile app. but if your skin feels tight and dry it could be a sign of damage. [ female announcer ] get a healthier clean with neutrogena® ultra gentle cleanser. unlike ordinary cleansers that can over-penetrate and damage skin's healthy barrier our breakthrough formula cleans gently without the damage, yet removes dirt, oil, even eye makeup. so clean really is healthy. [ female announcer ] ultra gentle cleanser. neutrogena®. #1 dermatologist recommended skincare. [ female announcer ] now your most dazzling accessory can be your smile. with new colgate optic white dual action toothpaste. its dual action formula shines and whitens over two shades more than a leading whitening toothpaste. ♪ so with new colgate optic white dual action the only accessory you need to shine is your smile. colgate optic white dual action. whiter teeth in one week. try optic white mouthwash. to whiten more, use the whole line from colgate optic white. >> hi. hey, how you doing? i just spoke to kevin's parents. they said they were on their way. >> right. it's all like a bad dream. >> yeah, well, you know kevin. he's a tough guy, so he'll pull through. >> i don't understand why someone just do that, just keep going on. >> kevin's parents said that the police got the guy. he was drunk. >> dad, can i have a minute alone with him? >> yeah, sure, but don't take too long. you know, he's about to go into surgery soon, all right? >> yes, sir. >> all right, i'll be right outside. >> you made us miss the movie. it's all right, though. it didn't get good reviews anyway. this your way of getting girls? it's not the -- it's not the way... girls usually don't like guys that's in nightgowns. look... i don't know if you can hear me or not. please, don't die on me, okay? you're my best friend. who else will i hang out with? who else will i dunk on? you're like a brother to me. just please don't die on me, okay? just please don't die on me. okay? >> hey, hey, calvin! boy, you sharp. boy, you lookin' mighty clean. >> mm-hmm. >> lookin' so fine, you should be on the cover of a magazine. >> what's up, calvin? you on your lunch break? >> no. i'm on permanent break. i got fired. >> what? >> i say we march. >> floyd, shut up. >> calvin, what happened? >> man! the guy in the office kept bossing me around, so i got hard, and i told him off. telling me to do this and do that. stack the papers here. don't stack the papers there. file the papers. "go get me some coffee." i ain't gettin' you no coffee! >> that's right, son. i mean, i can't stand when people come all up in your spot telling you what to do, how to do it, where to do it, when to do it. please! >> kiki! >> huh? >> clean them clippers. >> yes, sir. so did you tell your boss? >> he was my boss. >> what? >> calvin. >> stupid. >> so what are you gonna do now? >> i say we march. >> shut up! >> i want to march. >> i'm gonna hide out here. if i tell my dad, he'll kick me out. >> you know what you gotta do now, youngster. you gotta go out and get another job. >> i know, but i don't know what i want to do. >> yo, you should go to the post office. my cousin just got put on there. he is getting paid! i mean, he keep getting mauled by dogs, too, but that's what benefits is for, okay? >> you know, you could be a male escort. i did it for a couple years, and i was pimping these old broads out they social security checks. >> hey. [ snaps fingers ] maybe i could get a job here cutting hair. >> can you cut hair? >> to make money like that, i'll cut anything you want. i'll cut hair, grass. i'll even cut the lights on and off. >> boy, you got to study for years and years and years before you can be as professional as myself and earn money just like that. i mean, look what you could have if you owned a place like this right here? boy, i am paid for real, though. and you know what? once you cut that one customer right, he'll keep coming back again and again. the next thing you know, your business is growing, 'cause it's a growth industry. get it? ha! growth industry. hair grow-- never mind. >> i'm down. when do i start? >> oh, you can start right now. [ laughter ] >> malik, baby, you've been out here for hours. are you okay? >> i'm fine. i really miss kevin, though. >> well, baby, don't worry about him. he -- he will pull through. >> auntie ella, what if he doesn't? >> don't think like that. don't say that. kevin is a strong young man, and you have to be strong for him. >> yeah, i know. i mean, he's my best friend, though. i don't know what i'd do without him. >> let's just keep praying for him. [ door opens ] >> great news. i just talked to kevin's parents, and his surgery went well. he's gonna be all right. >> ah! >> that's great! can we go see him? >> well, let's let him rest for a little while, and we'll go see him later, all right? >> thanks, dad. >> all right, boy. >> see? >> that boy's going places! going right out to take the trash. [ laughs ] >> whoa! hey, mr. payne! >> hey, mr. payne. >> hey, curtis payne is in the house! >> [ laughs ] >> whoo! what you doing here, curtis payne?! >> why are you yelling, floyd?! >> i'm just happy to see you, my brother curtis payne! >> came to get a haircut. >> oh, no, no. we all backed up right now. come back next week. >> i don't see anybody here, delante. >> but sometimes you can feel the customers coming, and they on their way. [ knocking on door ] >> excuse me. okay, now i done took out the trash. i done cleaned the bathroom. what's next? [ gasps ] >> what you doing here? >> uh...getting a haircut. >> yeah, kiki. take a little off the top and taper it in the back. >> keep the waves. >> yeah, don't -- >> calvin, aren't you supposed to be at work? where's your suit? >> uh, it's casual friday. >> today is tuesday. >> but you know what, mr. payne? it's wednesday in china. >> curtis... don't mess with that. >> what the hell is going on? >> okay, look, pops... i got laid off. >> laid off! you got fired. >> kiki! >> ooh! >> why you didn't just tell me that? >> because i knew you would kill me. >> calvin, i wouldn't have killed you. [ laughter ] >> yeah, he would! >> okay, okay. but you still should have told me. >> look at the bright side. >> you don't have a bright side. >> i know what i want to do now. >> what's that? >> i'm gonna be a barber. >> what the hell? a barber? after i done spent all that money on college, you tellin' me i wasted my money on college, and you want to be a barber? for you to do something you could have done out of elementary school? >> oh, come on! >> wait a minute. should we be offended? >> see? >> well, pop, i really want to cut hair. >> and i really want to whup your ass. >> but you were shouting earlier, remember? "ooh!" remember? >> i was warming up. >> for what? >> come on, i want to talk to you. >> okay, let's talk. >> come on. >> i'm gonna stay right here. we can talk right here. >> i don't want to stay right here. >> come on, curtis. come on, curtis. >> curtis. >> come on, come on. >> calm down, mr. payne. >> run, calvin, run! run! >> aah! >> oh! >> yes, 911? there's a big violent black man chasing after this little old bitty white woman. she's a little damsel. say you right out front? look out the window? wow! where were y'all when my store got broke in? itand we're talking tome gloria, talking about the walmart low price guarantee backed by ad match. oj? they had a better price. walmart will match it at the register. really? really! cool! ready? wow! that's the walmart low price guarantee backed by ad match. bring in ads from your local stores and see for yourself! >> and you said girls don't like guys in nightgowns. >> man, you heard that? >> yeah. just to let you know, you're like a brother to me, too, man. >> thanks, man. >> thanks. >> so, yeah, ladies, did kevin tell you that i was in this accident, as well? ah, i remember it so vividly... 'cause it was yesterday. it was raining that night. i was glistening as i walked outside. morning, dad. morning. where'd you get the wall street journal? huh? oh, from the... what do you call it? the neighbor's porch? right. you stole their newspaper? i did not steal it. it is a well-known principle of common law that any newspaper not taken inside by 7:30 a.m. is free game. it's, um, 7:15. ah, they're dead asleep. i checked. captioning made possible by sony pictures television imagine a new level refined, perfected. at pixel level. breathtaking. new l'oreal texture perfector. advanced skincare with two powerful ingredients that work with skin. refine texture reduce pores diminish lines for every skin type. even close up, skin looks remarkable. new youth code texture perfector. only from l'oreal paris. texture perfected. we're worth it. oh, man, where is sara? we're going to be so late. where you guys, uh, headed tonight? rhonda levine's bachelorette party. i thought you went to that a couple of weeks ago. no, no, that was her engagement party, and then next week, i'm throwing her a bridal shower, and then a week from saturday's the rehearsal dinner, and then i'm a bridesmaid in her wedding, and then, with any luck at all, i'll never have to see her again. so what kind of bachelorette party is this gonna be tonight? rowdy? lot of drinking? well, i certainly hope so. a stripper? god willing. hey, do yourself a favor and don't judge his body based on mine, 'cause... it's not fair to him. right. by the way, honey, do you have a few singles? that's very funny, yeah. hi. oh, no, no, no. carrie, carrie, don't get him worked up. you're gonna make us late. me? you know how late we are because of you? ok, so you had the bigger room growing up. get over it. all right, let's just go. come on. i'm parked out front. what are you going to do tonight? i'm, uh, just going to cooper's with the guys. shoot some pool. ok, well, have fun. sara: ok, bye-bye. hoo! thank god it's friday! i thought the weekend would never get here. so where we off to tonight, kids? jazz at the cotton club? prizefight at the yankee stadium? it is friday, right? yeah, just not in the year that you think. oh, well, whatever you kids are into is fine, just as long as we have some fun. so how 'bout it -- let's 23 skidoo! actually, dad, sara and i are going to a bachelorette party, and doug's going to hang out with some of his friends. oh. uh-huh. we didn't know you were expecting to go out tonight. well, just a lifetime of habit, i suppose. friday night, big night. well, anyway, you kids have fun. i'm going to head back down and see if i can't get that heater to stop leaking... methane gas once and for all. oh, god, you guys, i feel so bad. he's been so lonely since tessie died. i know. and he put on canoe and everything. sara: i'm going to go wait in the car.