Worldchanging things going on lately. Sometimes it seems like more than ever. But none of them are as foundationshaking as the news we received about brad and angelina today. Im sure youve heard, Angelina Jolie filed for divorce from brad pitt. And of course all the celebrity gossip magazines are claiming victory. You know they broke this story, they broke the story every week for the last 11 years. [ laughter ] over and over and over again. Until i dont know, brad and angelina, its very sad news for them, also great nude for Tom Hiddleston and taylor swift who dont have to be on this coverage anymore. Apparently the reason theyre getting divorce is she talked about fight club and he specifically asked her not to do that. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] thank you. Now that this has happened, i wonder, you wonder whats the was kim dumped on her First Anniversary . Is barack obama gay . I mean, he must be. They wouldnt put it on the cover if it wasnt true. Our thoughts are with brad and angelina and with all of us. Its hard when two people you dont know and have no personal connection to split up. Speaking of unhappy couples, the first president ial debate is less than a week away. On monday donald trump and Hillary Clinton will face off at hofstra thats not going to preempt dancing with the stars, is it . If i miss even one second of vanilla ice doing the paso doble. Lester holt of nbc will be the moderator. Trump has been insinuating the debate is fixed against him because the moderator is biased. He said lester holt is a democrat, its a phony system, theyre all democrats, its a very unfair system. Unfortunately for donald and his theories, someone looked up registration. Turns out hes been registered as a republican in new york state since 2003. They have to come up with something else, i guess. Nbc today released a list of topics theyll cover with the candidates. And they dont usually do this in advance. Theyre a little bit surprising. First topic, the transpacific partnership. Then College Tuition reform. Then mr. Trump please stop shouting. Secretary clinton, can i get you a lozenge . Secretary clinton, do you us to call a doctor . Finally, no, mr. Trump, we did not catch Global Warming from the mexicans. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] those are the main categories. Then at the end there will be a freestyle insult section. So that will be fine. Its cute nbc thinks theyre going to cover topics are heres my prediction. Hillary clinton and donald trump are either going to murder each other on stage, or have amazing Hillary Clinton is getting reportedly getting a very unlikely vote in this election from former republican president george h. W. Bush. President bush reportedly told Robert Kennedys daughter in what he thought was a private conversation that hes voting for hillary. His staff said who the former president is voting for is a personal matter but they did not deny it. I never thought id see the day where a bush is voting for a clinton. Donald trump is bringing people together. [ laughter ] whatever you want to say about him. Meanwhile, his son, donald trump jr. , should probably be sent to his room and have his twitter account taken away. Yesterday he tweeted this. If i had a bowl of skittles and told you just three would kill you, would you take a handful . Thats our syrian refugee problem. Now a spokesperson for the company that owns skittles said, skit skittles are candy, refugees are people, we dont i want to add, if there really was a bowl of skittles and three would kill me, id probably eat a few anyway. I love them. Turns out the photographer who took that original photograph of the skittles is a refugee himself. For real. I didnt believe it either. [ laughter ] he escaped the Turkish Occupation of cyprus and now thank god he has the most boring job imaginable, taking pictures of skittles for a probably stay away from donald trump jr. s house on halloween, okay . [ laughter ] this is an important announcement for lovers of frozen waffles. Kelloggs recalled about 10,000 cases of eggos because they might be contaminated with listeria, a bacteria you dont want for breakfast. While the eggo people might give people who eat them a scare, it a chance to cut loose. Let go your eggo. Leeg my eggo. Let go of your eggo. Let go of your eggo. Leggo of your eggo. Let go of your eggo. Let go your eggo. Let go of that eggo. Let go of your leggo your eggo. Let go of your eggo. Let go of your leggo i said that wrong, leggo your eggo. Jimmy dont worry. That was only about half of them, there were a lot more. The shows only an hour. I saw this over the weekend. This is from the rice baylor Football Game where the referee made an announcement that i dont think ive ever seen made on television before. Referee please refrain from shooting lasers onto the field. Jimmy there are a bunch of imperial storm troopers in the crowd and things got a little out of hand. This is good too. When you are a news producer and you send the reporter out to the zoo to go well, this result is about the best you can hope for. We want to get to that chicken giveaway. But one last beauty shot. Oh i like that. Man thats a lot of slobber look at that, wow. Where is this going . Where is this going . Jimmy get that animal on tinder [ cheers and applause ] what the hells going on there . Thats a new episode of americas horniest giraffes. We have a good show with usher and Minnie Driver and Denzel Washington is here. [ cheers and applause ] isnt it exciting. I actually have a confession to make to denzel. The other day just for a minute, i hope he can forgive me. Denzel stars in the magnificent 7. It comes out friday. Tonight our inhouse movie critic yehya has a preview reserve yehya was yelling at me in the alleyway yesterday. When i was leaving showed. When am i going to be on the show again . Well, here he is on the show again talking about the magnificent 7. Hi its me, yehya i will stand up. I talking about the movie behind me because the poster is more large, you know, like big, you know. It said the movie behind me is called magnif seven. I go down, you can see it send me. The people, denzel washton, very nice guy. He remind me like sydney bootay. He met the movie with a small also he moving like hes not very clean cop. With etienne haywook and the guy next to him is for the movie guardian for the gull. Chris party, you know. Hes in the movie like big dinosaur. Dinosaur is mad. You can see his voice, big whhooooh go watch that movie, its behind me, good movie, good luck [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thank you, yehya. We have to take a break. When we come back from the break, a new edition of lie witness news. Stick around, well be right back [ cheers and applause ] . Its time for some straight talk. Most Wireless Companies offer nocontract plans, but getting a new phone. Aight talk plus, get a Samsung Galaxy s7 for as low as thirtyone dollars a month, no contract. Cancel any time, no penalties. Its time to ask yourself. Why havent i switched . Add our unlimited plan. On americas largest, most dependable 4g lte networks. Find out more at straighttalk. Com [ . Diggy . By spencer ludwig] . . Nighty night. When are they leaving . Ke grandchildren and chaos. Made for real, real life. Mom, i have to tell you something. Dad, one second i was driving and then the next. They just didnt stop and then. Im really sorry. I wrecked the subaru. I wrecked it. Youre ok. Thats all that matters. Love. Its what makes a subaru, a subaru. . This is eric gibson. He and his wife briana made the bold what the future has in store for them, they bought into a 30year mortgage anyway. Because they werent just thinking about their future. Buy in. Quicken loans. Home buy. Refi. Power. [ . Diggy . By spencer ludwig] jimmy welcome back to the show. Denzel washington, Minnie Driver, music from usher on the way. First news for those who live in california. According to even tests at ucla, this drought in which we are currently embroiled could go on for centuries. Which to me thats good news, before this report i assumed wed all be dead [ laughter ] theyre saying this could go on for hundreds of years. The only way to really get people, especially in l. A. , to conserve is to come up with a new fad diet where youre not allowed to drink water. [ laughter ] our department of water and power, dwp, is doing their best. Their best might not go quite far enough as youll see her. Droughttolerant plants, fake grass, dirt where there once was a lawn. Dwp is trying to set an example the sign says, we stopped watering the grass to do our part. But did they . The dwp has underground sprinklers watering that fake grass. Were not watering grass, were rinsing the grass to make it sanitary. Youre watering it. Were rinsing it with water to make it more sanitary. Jimmy well, that makes sense. [ laughter ] if it wasnt september id assume this was an april fools joke. Watering fake grass . All we know. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] this is week two of dancing with the stars, already two scandals. Last week the ryan lochte protesters interrupted the broadcast. This week the former governor of texas, rick perry, who is dancing in the competition, had an embarrassing moment. Yesterday they posted this to instagram, a silhouette of him with his dance partner, practicing the last move for you bet he was. [ laughter ] looks like hes either having second with her or hes a magician and just cut her in half. He deleted the post almost immediately. I guess he realized it was bad. But for all the four people who follow rick perrys instagram, this was a shocking development. [ laughter ] why would you follow rick perry on instagram . Donald trump as you probably know has yet to release his financial information. Even though tradition even his running mate, mike pence, released his tax returns. Trump has not, he claims hes being audited, his lawyers told him not to do it, he also says people dont care about his taxes. I disagree, i care about his taxes. I think a lot of people care. We stopped people who identified themselves as donald trump supporters. We stopped them, told them donald trump released his taxes today, and asked them specific questions about these fictional tax returns in another edition so as you know, donald trump released his tax returns today. Was it legitimate for donald trump to write off all those marriages over the years as entertainment . Wow. Good question. It was, it was entertaining. To him. Its a tax writeoff. Again, going back to your irs, everything that its a loophole. If its ther y utilize it. What do you think of donald trump listing his primary occupation as farmer . If he does own farms and hes invested in farms, i mean, thats as an entrepreneur, you can necessarily say what you need to say. Especially for tax purposes. Obviously the big shock is that Donald Trumps net worth is only 42,000. Rather than 10 billion. Does that change your view on him . Never. I know hes going to do it. I know hes going to do the even though he only had 42,000 . We all fib a little bit. You know what . The Donald Trump Foundation donated 100,000 to the Legal Defense fund to the dentist who killed cecil the lion, is that okay . I would think that would be a wonderful thing for him to do, because i imagine the dentist couldnt afford it himself. What do you think about how donald trump donated 50,000 to jared fogles Legal Defense fund this. Sums of cash to legal funds every day. If its to help somebody, thats what its for. Even disgraced subway folks man jared fogle deserves his day in court . Everybody deserves their day in court. Were you surprised to see donald trump wrote off 100,000 for breast pumps for various members of his family . No, not surprised. Why not . I dont know. Hes, you know he wants so, you know. Im sorry, youre under the impression theyre breast pumps to increase their bust size . Yes. Do you think gold plating a toilet is a business expense . If i was showing off for my friends or i needed it and i had the funds to do it, yes, i would probably do it were you surprised to see donald trump spent 38,000 on that Siberian Tiger for Vladimir Putins birthday . Yeah, im not surprised. I would think he would gain friends in the business world. What did you think about how donald trump is technically leasing his wife melania to the campaign . Is it okay that he found that loophole . Every persons leasable. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy is that true . Oh, that settles it, he can get away with anything. Tonight on the show, music tonight from usher from the new show speechless Minnie Driver is here. Be right back with denzel [ cheers and applause ] . Dicky portions of Jimmy Kimmel Live are brought to you by pedigree. Feed the good. If you try to write, on a plain old mac the difference can be seen it doesnt work get the surface pro the keyboard detaches from the screen [ cheers and applause ] jimmy welcome back to the speechless which premieres tomorrow night on abc, Minnie Driver is here. [ cheers and applause ] then, this is his new album, its called hard to love, usher from the samsung outdoor stage. [ cheers and applause ] usher has invited people from all over the world, to dance behind him on our big cisco screen, the wall of america. Were going to have an International Dance party on the show tomorrow night, youre invited, okay . Dance agent home. Tomorrow night, lupita nyongo, bill oreilly, well have music from jake owen, and on thursday, viola davis and music from rae sremmurd. So please join us for that. Our first guest is a twotime oscar winner and onetime equalizer who is saddled up for a brandnew take on the classic western, the magnificent seven. It opens in theaters friday. Please welcome [ cheers and applause ] . Jimmy how you doing . Good to see you. [ cheers and applause ] when you first heard that song, that saltnpepa song oh, thats right, they say my name. Jimmy body like arnold with a denzel face. Thats weird. [ laughter ] jimmy is that . You know. Jimmy did you think, whats wrong with my body . You know. I bought a thousand albums but no, no. It was flattering. Jimmy flattering, yeah. Must be strange, though, to turn on the radio and Something Like that happens. It was. Jimmy there arent a lot of denzels. Its not like, oh, that was probably denzel schwarts. You know what, when i was a attendance. On youre sitting in there, they call everybodys name. Mikey, here. Joey, here. Zen den denzel . Jimmy they always got it wrong . Yeah, i didnt want to be denzel. Jimmy a terrible thing for kids. I have a friend jean na, her real name is regime that, every year the teach were say reginena and everyone would laugh. I was called ginger ale. I said what did you jimmy that was a teacher . No, it wasnt a teacher. Jimmy it wasnt a teacher, okay. Ginger ale . I said, what . Zen dell . Pencil . Stencil . Jimmy i bet they dont call you that anymore, do they. Mercedes denz . No . [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] last time you were here you were about to begin horse training seven. How long did you wind up training to ride a horse . Including the filming, i was probably on one close to a year. Maybe eight months, a year. Jimmy when you go out, do you pick your horse . Do they give the horse to you . They picked a nice, calm horse for me. Jimmy okay. Its not like jimmy not like going to an auto dealership where you test drive a bunch of horses . You dont want a young horse. Too feisty. Jimmy how old was your horse . I dont know. I dont know. But i loved it. I got into it. We were ride outside, about an hour outside of town. You get to know your horse. Id always walk him and pet him first and talk to him. Hi, im stencil. Whatever. Pet him, wash him, feed him. Jimmy what was his name . Palone. Animal . No, thats what he did to me. Jimmy he did . No, no. Thats it, thats it. Jimmy thats it . Thats the movie business. Jimmy do you think it will be like that youtube video, animal trainers left the lion in the jungle, then they went back to the jungle and they saw the lion, the lion charges at them, you think, lions going to kill them. Instead they hug the lion, roll around. Will you and palone do that . No . I was trying to think, how would he hug me . Jimmy that could be a great next film, horses can hug. It was a good relationship. Jimmy you spoke at Dallas Cowboys training camp. Is that part of the cowboy thing . Or was that just a no, when i was no, no, no. Jimmy the cowboys train in oxna oxnard, not far from here. Preseason you spoke. Yeah, last year and this bob hayes play, i wanted i like the cowboys. So they were my team. Jimmy right. I stick with my team. I like the giants. But bob hayes was a black guy. Jimmy right. Who was fast. I was a black guy. Who wasnt fast. [ laughter ] but, you know. Just as a kid, whatever reason. Plus they were just cool and they were americas team. Jimmy same here. I lived in las vegas and i like tony dorsett. That is the guy. Even though hes a black guy who is black guy, either of those two things. Its not too late. [ laughter ] jimmy its too late for fast. Its too late for fast. No, but and i stuck with my team. All through the 60s, 70s. Dorsett, even before dorsett, duane thomas, walt garrison. Jimmy what do you say to a team when you speak to them . Youre an actor, you play roles, but youre not really that guy. Actually a buddy of mine scenes kind of guy. Hes a very powerful guy. And he had a stroke. And he was talking to them about how life was precious. And how they should take advantage of their life on this earth. Because hes accomplished all these things and he had a stroke and it was like, oh. You can go like that. He ended up, his speech, with the time is now, you need to live, you need to do it now, find a way to work together. They got all this applause and stuff. I foll said, the time is now. The press came out and said that i said the time is now. He did. Jimmy he wrote that dialogue for you. And i took advantage and ran with it. [ laughter ] jimmy for the cowboys the time really is now. It is. They came out and lost their first game. Yeah. And their quarterback. Jimmy and tony romo got hurt again. The young kid is good. Jimmy he is good. But yeah, it will be nice when romo gets back in there. Again. Well. Jimmy or your speech will have been