and featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: 795! >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, my goodness. [ cheers and applause ] welcome! welcome, everybody. welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome to "the tonight show." this is it, baby. [ cheers and applause ] you're here. you made it. "the tonight show." here's what people are talking about. well, the big story is still the gop tax bill. and i read that it'll save president trump $15 million a a year. [ light laughter ] trump heard that, he said, "wow, did i switch to geico?" [ laughter and applause ] "i knew that -- i knew that would help." this is nice, though. after yesterday's vote, trump told reporters that they could stay and take part in a prayer with ben carson. [ light laughter ] first carson bowed his head, then three hours later he went -- [ snoring ] "what?" [ laughter and applause ] "yeah, everything good? no one's here, okay, good." in the meantime, the white house is all decorated for christmas. there is a 350 pound gingerbread replica of the white house in the state dining room. it's pretty realistic. there is even a tiny omarosa being escorted out by the secret service. >> steve: aw! [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: it's just really -- it's perfect. it's cute. it's cute. there is a gingerbread white house that weighs 350 pounds, but then they left trump alone with it for a few minutes and now it weighs 250 pounds. [ laughter and applause ] i got hungry and ate the west wing. but christmas is only a few days away, which means it's the perfect time to watch some classic holiday movies. you can tell that trump loves them. he's actually been spending time practicing lines from his favorite holiday movies. take a look at what i mean. >> could you tone it down a a bit? >> could you tone it down just a little? [ laughter ] >> we're all in this together. >> we're all in this together. >> as dead as a doornail. >> the thing's dead as a a doornail. >> most people hate me. >> they hate me with a passion. >> cry, baby, cry. >> let the baby cry. >> get him out of here. >> get him out of here. >> oh, my god! >> oh, my god! >> kevin! >> kevin! >> ah! >> arrr! >> jimmy: isn't that amazing? [ cheers and applause ] amazing. >> steve: wow. >> jimmy: guys, this is pretty crazy, a city in missouri just made a 177-foot tall christmas stocking. wow. now comes the hard part, finding a 90-foot package of disposable razors and an 80-foot scratch off ticket to stuff inside of it. [ applause ] "maybe it's -- no, i lost." finally, i want to say happy birthday to samuel l. jackson who turns 69 years old today. [ cheers and applause ] he didn't -- he didn't blow out his candles, he just yelled at them until they put themselves out. [ cheers and applause ] we have a great show tonight. give it up for the roots, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have got a huge show tonight. we love this guy, he's so funny, so talented. from the new movie, "downsizing", jason sudeikis is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: whoa! >> jimmy: we're going to catch up with him. and then jason and i are going head-to-head in a new competition with some very special guests. >> steve: oh. [ audience oohs ] >> jimmy: yeah, can't wait, it's going to be fun. also the star of "at home with amy sedaris", our buddy amy sedaris is stoping by. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: oh! >> jimmy: amy's great. amy's going to tell us about her hit show. then she's going to help out with a holiday toy demo. >> steve: oh. >> jimmy: that's happening tonight. and we have stand-up from a a great comedian, oh, my goodness. i see him every year at comics come home, denis leary's charity event he does in boston. he's so funny. he's one of the best comedians working right now. robert kelly is here tonight, you guys. >> steve: whoa! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: guys, we have exactly two shows left before we go on christmas break, which means it's time for that beloved "tonight show" tradition. it's time for 12 days of christmas sweaters. here we go. ♪ 12 days of christmas sweaters two days left ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's right, every show between now and christmas, we'll be giving one lucky audience member a shackatoshish christmas sweater from the "countdown to christmas" cabinet. now since there are two shows left, let's open door number two. [ drum roll ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] oh, my goodness. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] now let's see who's going home with tonight's sweater. everyone, look at your seat number. if i call your number, i need you to jump up and let me know where you are. quest, can i get a drumroll please? [ drum roll ] who wants the sweater? it's a good one! [ cheers and applause ] 237! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ nice! you are very lucky, oh, my goodness. how are you, buddy? >> i'm doing great. >> jimmy: nice to see you man. >> my pleasure. >> jimmy: what is -- what is your name? >> jack barkley. >> jimmy: jack barkley, very good. jack, where are you from? >> texas. >> jimmy: from texas. [ cheers ] we love texas! i just saw that recently it snowed in texas, so this is really great. you're going to need a sweater. >> yeah, of course. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: this is -- do you have anything like this -- >> gonna keep me very warm. >> jimmy: oh, yeah, this is very -- and it's very heavy. i got to say that. that's the one thing that's great. i think it's the bejeweled bowties on the sides. do you want to try it, to see if it fits? >> i'd love it so much. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: just get in there. there you go. now put it up. that's good. [ laughter ] this is great. jack -- jack, come on, buddy. come on, buddy. there you go, all right, don't hurt yourself. there you go. [ cheers ] getting' them through. no -- there you go. yeah, look at this. this is fantastic. are you kidding? oh, my gosh. look at that. isn't it great? [ cheers and applause ] oh, this is unbelievable. you look fantastic! >> thank you. >> jimmy: am i right or am i right? [ cheers and applause ] thanks again, my man. i appreciate it. stick around. we'll be right back with jason sudeikis, ladies and gentlemen. that looks great! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ for those who know what they're really building. always unstoppable. and roomba from irobot gets to work using two multi-surface brushes and power-lifting suction to grab and remove everything from fine dust to large debris. daily dirt doesn't stand a chance. you and roomba from irobot. better together. (cough) it's just a cough. if you could see your cough, you'd see just how far it can spread. robitussin soothes in seconds and delivers fast, powerful cough relief for hours. (giggling) robitussin dm max. because it's never just a cough. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our first guest is a a very funny and talented actor starring alongside matt damon and kristen wiig in the new film "downsizing" which opens tomorrow. please welcome the always entertaining jason sudeikis, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: you feeling the funk. >> woo! >> jimmy: jason sudeikis, everybody. welcome back to the show. [ cheers and applause ] nice to see you. >> nice to be seen. >> jimmy: how is the family? are the kids excited for christmas? >> alive. alive and well. >> jimmy: yes. >> we're doing our jobs. >> jimmy: yeah, you're doing your job. yeah. are they excited? >> yeah, i think so. i mean, daisy is one. so she's psyched about food and most things. >> jimmy: anything, yeah, yeah. she's a baby. yeah, yeah. >> but, otis is three and a a half. and he understands that gifts are exchanged. that he is going to be getting a bunch of new toys. we're filling up a box tomorrow of all the toys that need to go elsewhere, give them to some other kids to make room for some stuff. >> jimmy: yeah. >> but i don't think he -- he's at an age where he knows santa is a thing, but we can't use him as like the great disciplinarian that santa is for most households. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, not yet. >> no, he thinks santa, like, i buy the toys and santa just -- he just thinks santa is like a a fedex guy. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: he's just delivering presents. >> delivering presents, like -- >> jimmy: so you order them through santa? >> yeah, exactly. or he thinks that jeff bezos is santa, and then santa's like an elf. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah i got you. >> so it's like, you know, hey, if you do that, you know, if you push your sister, santa's not going to bring you what you want. he's just like -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. so we won't overnight it, big deal. >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. >> yeah, exactly, right. yeah, priority overnight isn't a thing dad? oh, man. how'd you learn that? >> jimmy: has he met santa? have you ever -- >> no, he hasn't met santa yet. i think that's part of the problem. we haven't introduced him to the mythology yet. >> jimmy: yeah, you have to -- >> you know, he knows the grinch, he knows the joker from "batman" in the '60s. [ light laughter ] you know, he knows those iconic -- >> jimmy: important -- >> important things, yeah. we're -- >> jimmy: every kids gotta know the joker. >> you know, and jesus. >> jimmy: it's all very nice. of course, of course. >> all the biggies. in that order. those are the three. but then we -- [ laughter ] that's the holy trinity in our house. [ laughter and applause ] sure. >> jimmy: they agree. they agree, they agree. and how's the -- how's the beautiful baby? how's daisy? >> she's good. she's cute as pie. and she's in her -- visually, adorable. audibly -- she's a shrieker. [ light laughter ] she shrieks. she shrieks incessantly. in a good mood, bad mood. she realizes that people look at her when she shrieks, so now the shrieking is like part of her dna, unfortunately. >> jimmy: so, she's like yelling or? >> oh no, it's like a shriek. i'm talking about like -- i mean, i can't do it, because i'm a grown man. [ light laughter ] but like, i'd have to do it on the inhale. it'd be like -- [ shrieking ] [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: really? >> do you remember the sound daryl hannah made in "splash?" >> jimmy: "splash?" >> when she says her name. anybody here over 30? [ laughter ] tom hanks used to do comedies. >> jimmy: oh my gosh, yeah, yeah, yeah. >> and so, yeah. i mean, it's awful. and we were on a plane recently. we went on vacation, we went to hawaii. which is a lovely place, and then on the plane ride home liv and the baby were two rows away from me. then there was a random duo -- a couple older ladies and then otis and i a row ahead. and i could hear the shrieking starting and i knew it was going keep going until she -- everybody died or something. i don't know. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] >> she's very persistent. and then -- so, but the women behind me didn't know that i was with the people behind them. so they're whispering and just covering their ears being like, "oh, my god! oh my god!" and then one of them just looks over to the other one just, "just put something in her mouth!" [ laughter ] and i'm like -- i turn over. and like, sort of look. and again -- and then i got up and just sort of walked over and kissed my baby so they know, oh yeah. quit talking trash. >> jimmy: yeah, exactly. >> i can hear you. >> jimmy: stick up for the baby, yeah. >> but i mean, literally people's tans were falling off, it was so loud. [ laughter ] their leis were wilting. >> jimmy: man. [ talking over each other ] >> you know, like a time lapse. but you know, the -- >> jimmy: hawaiian leis -- >> oh, it was horrible. it was horrible. the vacation was null and void by time we landed. >> jimmy: did you -- have you ever done this on the show, because i know this. >> what's that? >> jimmy: i'm not sure if anyone knows this. but you're a very good whistler. >> i appreciate that, that's nice. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: have you ever done that on the show? have i ever made you whistle on the show? >> no, no i've never whistled. yeah, i didn't realize i was a a good whistler. i did a play last year, we did a stage version of "dead poets society" downtown at -- >> jimmy: that's right. congratulations on that. that was great. >> well, that was a blast, yeah. no, i mean, it didn't -- we didn't go to broadway but, thank you. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you didn't want to -- you didn't want to go. >> didn't want to go. >> jimmy: you didn't want to go to broadway. >> didn't want to go -- it's too busy. >> jimmy: it's too busy over there. >> too many people. >> jimmy: it's so much better off broadway. >> is that still a benchmark for like, having done something well? >> jimmy: absolutely not. >> okay good. that's what i thought. that's all right. >> jimmy: no one knows about broadway. >> that's where people end their careers. like springsteen. you know, he's on the way down. [ laughter ] bette midler, you know, it's like, does anybody even go see that anymore? >> jimmy: no, and there's empty houses. >> yeah, exactly, so we didn't make it to the great white way. but i whistled a lot in that. and people were like -- after the show, you know, you try to take them through the highs and lows of that story. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and then people would be like, "i didn't know you were such a good whistler." >> jimmy: yeah. [ light laughter ] >> that's all -- i'm like, "that's all you get out of that?" [ laughter ] you don't want to seize the day? just like, hey man. >> jimmy: that's all you got out of my performance? is that i'm a great whistler. [ light laughter ] >> it's the first thing i did in the show. >> jimmy: but it is -- yeah. yeah, it opens with is it ode -- >> we did a little "ode to joy." >> jimmy: "ode to joy." >> yeah, yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: but, it was fantastic. >> yeah, you want -- >> jimmy: can you give me a a taste of it? >> want me to, like -- >> jimmy: yeah, that would be great. [ cheers and applause ] >> i believe it's public domain. so, we won't have to pay for this. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: i believe it is, too. [ whistling "ode to joy" ] >> jimmy: i mean -- [ cheers and applause ] [ whistling "ode to joy" ] [ cheers and applause ] ring tone. that's a ring tone right there. >> that's a ring tone. that's a ring tone. >> jimmy: jason sudeikis, right there. >> that's real money. [ applause ] >> jimmy: professional whistler. jason sudeikis. >> i do it just 'cause i love it. >> jimmy: exactly. [ light laughter ] the kids just love it. >> you know, if i get paid, i'd never work a day in my life. [ light laughter ] if i got paid to whistle. is this mine? >> jimmy: yeah, that's yours, yeah. >> thank you. >> jimmy: no, problem. >> ooh, a handle. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: oh it's good, it's strong moonshine. [ light laughter ] let's talk about "downsizing." >> let's -- yeah. >> jimmy: did you get to hang with our pal? wiigy? kristen wiig? >> no. >> jimmy: you didn't? >> we were separate ships in the night. ships in the night. >> jimmy: see, isn't that wild. >> yeah, no, it's one of those things about movies. you remember growing up you'd see people in movies and you'd be like, "i bet they're the best friends now." and like -- no, you never see each other. >> jimmy: yeah. >> but especially when, like, my guy is like -- i play a a downsized person which is this idea that we, you know, shrink ourselves to like five, eight inches. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and so, yeah. so, all my scenes were with a a green screen. >> jimmy: was it really? [ light laughter ] >> yeah, like, i did one scene with matt damon and then jason bourne, you know, had to take a flight to paris or something, and i'm talking -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you never saw him again. >> talking to a yellow "x" on a a big -- like this damn thing. i'm just talking to a curtain. >> jimmy: but the idea of it really is -- if people can choose to downsize to five inches -- >> yeah. >> jimmy: tall, to have a -- guaranteed a better -- >> a better life, yeah. >> jimmy: a better life. >> yeah. it's their way of solving the problem with overpopulation. and so, yeah, if you -- you got miniaturized like that, then you can have all the spoils of the world. and my character and the woman that plays my wife, maribeth monroe, she -- we're old high school friends of his. so we come back to the 25th reunion and get carried in a a glass case. and it's kind of like oh, look. we were treated like celebrities 'cause we're like this big. >> jimmy: well you were the first people to downsize. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. especially in that small town in nebraska. >> jimmy: so a local celebrity. they're like, oh, you gotta talk to me -- >> yeah. >> jimmy: about downsizing, what happened? like, are you loving it? >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: you're like, oh, life's great, yeah. >> no. >> jimmy: it's very, very good. i want to show a clip. here is jason sudeikis and matt damon in "downsizing." take a look. >> so the decision to -- >> well, that's the thing. downsizing takes the pressure right off. especially money pressure. >> well and plus, it must feel good to know you're really making a difference. >> you mean all that crap about saving the planet? >> yeah. >> downsizing is about saving yourself. and now, carol and i, we live like kings. >> i'm still living in the same house i grew up in. i mean, audrey is dying for us to move. but we're really strapped. >> listen, there's a lot of small communities cropping up out there. but, don't mess around. leisureland is where you want to be. best houses, best appliances, best doctors. it's got all the great restaurants. the kids love cheesecake factory. and leisureland's got three of 'em. ooh, sorry, maybe back up a a little? i think there might be too much garlic in the salsa here. >> oh yeah, right. >> jimmy: there you go. jason sudeikis right there. [ cheers and applause ] "downsizing" opens tomorrow. when we come back, jason and i are going head-to-head in a new competition with some special guests. stick around, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ i can't believe it comes in... how great this tastes! vegaaaan. and organiiiic. enjoy i can't believe it's not butter! in it's vegan! and it's organic! toasting dad: i'm not one but here's to... to many more years of friendship. and feasts! crowd: [laughing, cheering] to presents! a mi familia que lo es todo. ♪ to being right here, right now, with you. sfx: dog bark. and you. toasting dad: i guess what i'm trying to say is, here's to family. we're proud to bring your family amazing value every day. t.j. maxx. marshalls. homegoods. family is the greatest gift. nosy neighbor with a glad bag, full of trash. what happens next? nothing. only glad has febreze to neutralize odors for 5 days. guaranteed. even the most perceptive noses won't notice the trash. be happy. it's glad. it's a better place, since you came along since you came along your touch is sunlight through the trees your kisses are the ocean breeze everything's alright when you're with me and i hold my favorite thing i hold the love that you bring but it feels like i've opened my eyes again and the colors are golden and bright again there's a song in my heart, i feel like i belong it's a better place since you came along [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. i'm here with jason sudeikis! "downsizing" is his film. the winter olympics are right around the corner you guys and i can not wait. so in honor of my absolute all time favorite winter olympic sport, of course, talking about curling, it is time to play a a game of bar curling. here we go, ladies and gentlemen. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: now, jason and i are going to need some teammates. so it is my honor to introduce two of the best curlers in the world. please give a warm "tonight show" welcome to u.s. olympic curling team superstars and real life siblings, becca and matt hamilton, ladies and gentlemen! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you. >> you're going down. >> jimmy: no way, man. i'm so happy -- honored to have you here. that's jason sudeikis. welcome to the show. >> guys, your musical is amazing. >> jimmy: no, no, that -- >> thank you, thank you. i wrote it myself. >> jimmy: no, these are olympians. these are -- >> different hamilton's? >> jimmy: yes, different hamilton's. >> gotcha. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: they weren't in that hamilton. [ laughter ] i've got to say, not only is it odd enough to be brother and sister, but you're also olympic athletes. but you're also competing together in the first ever mixed doubles in olympic curling history. >> there we go. >> jimmy: that is what i'm talking about. come on. [ cheers and applause ] we're rooting for you. rooting for u.s.a., baby. all right, here's how our game works. at the end of each of our bar curling tables, a bulls eye with different point values. normally, a curling stone looks like this guy right here. >> be careful. >> jimmy: it's really heavy. >> use your legs. >> jimmy: okay, and -- >> use your back. use your back. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: we're going to be playing -- we're going to be playing with this. [ laughter ] so that's -- we're going to slide our mini curling stones towards the bulls eye, and we get the point value for the highest circle that they're touching. okay, if your opponent knocks you off your curling stone, you lose those points. so, we'll each go three times. becca and i will be on the red team. jason and matt are on the blue team. let's take our positions. here we go. >> this one? >> yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: matt. >> yep. let's do it. >> jimmy: what was that? >> oh, that's just -- [ talking over each other ] >> jimmy: well, what did he say to you? >> he said let's beat 'em. >> jimmy: let's beat 'em? >> yeah. >> not going to happen. >> jimmy: come on, let's do it, pal. we can do this. all right, here we go. to start, it's jason versus becca. becca, whenever you're ready, you go first. jason, you get -- yeah, yeah. that's how you do it. that's it. that's it. teammates! [ applause ] that's how you do it right there. look at that. real good. >> we can beat that. >> get there! [ talking over each other ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: it's a tie game! this is exciting! this is what i'm talking about. yeeaaah! yes! >> all right. >> all right. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. makes it real tricky. >> lot of room on that ten for this guy. >> jimmy: yeah, i don't know, man. here we go, here we go. >> oh, go home. >> oh, no. >> whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. [ audience ohs ] >> jimmy: oh, nothing. nothing, not even touching. >> now i've got to thread the needle. okay. >> jimmy: there you go. look at this. look at this. oh, that's touching. that's another point for us. >> jimmy: this is fantastic. [ applause ] >> here we go. >> uh-oh. >> get there! >> uh-oh. >> no, no! [ audience ohs ] ♪ [ applause ] >> jimmy: all right. so it's three to five. okay. and we are in the lead. you feeling good, bro? >> i'm feeling confident. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. all right, we got this. >> three to five. here we go. >> come on, here we go, baby. >> jimmy: here we go. your turn. you go first, matt. >> curl this son of a gun. [ light laughter ] get curly. [ cheers and applause ] >> ooh! >> that's a ten-er. >> that's a ten-er? your move. >> that's a lot, take it out. >> jimmy: all right. all right. >> oh, geez. >> ooh! >> pretty good, pretty good. >> i forgot we could hit theirs. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. [ light laughter ] >> look at this. unrelenting. [ audience ohs ] >> double takeout. >> jimmy: double takeout. >> oh, no! [ talking over each other ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's not funny. come on. that's not funny. >> i haven't -- i haven't seen this many curlers in one room since the tyler perry museum in atlanta. [ laughter ] >> oh, boy. if you land on the ten, we win. >> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: oh, i can land on the ten and win? >> yeah, just land -- just go ahead and land on a ten. >> oh, geez. [ audience oohs ] >> jimmy: it's a tie! that is a tie right there! this is good! [ cheers and applause ] go to tiebreaker! tiebreaker! no pressure! each -- each player throws one. each player curls one. so, what do you call this? the rock? the stone, thank you. [ light laughter ] you curl. each player curls one -- the only one. this is the -- this is the game. >> this is it. this is it. >> can you throw a takeout? >> jimmy: becca, you go first. >> can you throw a takeout? >> oh, a takeout? >> no, no takeouts. >> no takeouts, come on. >> all right, all right. >> come on, everybody knows that. [ light laughter ] >> oh, no. oh, no. >> jimmy: no, no, this is great! this is great! >> all you need is one! all you need is one! >> i'm going for the ten. go big or go home. >> jimmy: yes, he went two -- >> he got it. >> jimmy: oh, my god! they won right there! matt! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] congratulations. jason sudeikis -- >> good win, good win. >> jimmy: -- matt hamilton are the champs. becca. [ cheers and applause ] you're the world champ, right there. my thanks to u.s. olympians becca and matt hamilton. history will be made when they compete in the 2018 winter olympics, which begins february 8th right here on nbc. we'll be right back with amy sedaris. stick around, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ listen moms, hot pockets are exactly what a hungry boy wants in a snack. premium pepperoni. real cheese. and that buttery garlic crust. they're literally stuffed full of deliciousness. nothing satisfies like 100% real cheese and 10 grams of protein. 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"what headache?" nothing works faster to make pain a distant memory. advil liqui-gels and advil liqui-gels minis. what pain? advil liqui-gels and advil liqui-gels minis. ♪ got the right gifts under the tree? oh no, mm-mm, but i like socks. well of course son. everyone loves socks. they keep your feet warm. but you can't stream nothing on no socks. true. t-mobile gives you two iphone 8's for the price of one. one person gets an awsome gift... ...and so does the next guy. you're one wize dude dad. great things come in two's when you holiday together at t-mobile. now back for a limited time, buy one iphone 8 and get one on us. mii'm alive and have a second chance. james: i'm thankful for the help and the opportunity that i received. darlene: i'm thankful to be able to help people in crisis. vanessa: i'm thankful that addiction is treatable, and that help is available. christie: new jersey is experiencing a heroin epidemic fueled by opioid painkillers. but if you or someone you love is struggling with addiction, i want you to know: we are here for you. this holiday season, choose help. call 844 reach nj or visit reachnj.gov. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: we are joined right now by the creator and star of "at home with amy sedaris," which just concluded a a fantastic first season and is available on demand and on the tru tv app. please welcome the hilarious, amy sedaris. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> wow. >> jimmy: amy sedaris, we love you. >> thank you. >> jimmy: welcome back to the show. >> it's been so long. >> jimmy: it has been so long. >> oh, my gosh. >> jimmy: you look fantastic. >> so do you. >> jimmy: thank you for being on the show. >> i missed last night's episode. and i heard you had erykah badu on, who's my favorite singer. >> jimmy: she is? >> and i'll -- need to do my little imitation of her? >> jimmy: yeah. >> it's not that great, but i'll do it. >> jimmy: yeah, here we go. ♪ have you heard the news today i ain't got no money ♪ ♪ have you heard the music play boom-klat boom-klat i'm in love with you ♪ it's close. >> jimmy: there you go. not bad. that is -- [ cheers and applause ] that's what i'm talking about. thank you, for coming out guns ablazin'. >> those probably aren't the right lyrics. but is sure -- i'm going to have to watch it when i get home. >> jimmy: did you do the 25 cent table thing this year? >> i did, every year. i wipe out my gift closet. and i sell everything for a a quarter, 'cause i use it for laundry. and i made $50. >> jimmy: is that right? >> yeah, all in quarters. >> jimmy: so that's the -- that's the only rule, 'cause i think it's genius. you invite your friends over. all these things are for sale. >> yep. >> jimmy: but you have to pay in quarters. >> you have to pay in quarters. not three nickels and a dime. don't give me a dollar. it's got to be 25 cents. but i sold one of your mugs. sorry. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: we give these out to our guests. it's like a very -- >> yeah, i got a million of 'em. if it makes you feel better, stephen's didn't move, okay? colbert's didn't move. [ laughter ] i sold some wacky donkey teeth. some black seed, and i sold an electric toothbrush, unused. [ light laughter ] and i offered free pelvic exams but nobody went for it. >> jimmy: nobody went for that one. >> that's cool. >> jimmy: but it was free as well. >> yep. >> jimmy: i want to talk about your show. it's amazing. you have to watch this show. >> thank you. >> jimmy: it's called "at home." >> it's right up your wife's alley, right? with all the décor -- the set design and everything. >> jimmy: she does love all the -- the craftiness of it. but i love the craftiness and the oddness of it. it's so refreshing and cool. >> oh, thank you. >> jimmy: and it's very you. >> yeah, i'm really happy with it. >> jimmy: "at home with amy sedaris. well, your names in the title, which is perfect. >> oh, right. [ light laughter ] yeah, yeah, thank you. >> jimmy: you play yourself. you're a host. and the things -- every episode is differently themed. >> mm-hmm. >> jimmy: and sometimes it just gets a little weird. like what are the themes of some of the episodes? >> we have a murder side. that aired the other night with michael shannon. he just knocked on the wrong door. and he comes in. [ laughter ] we did one on grieving. one on cooking for one, ladies. [ laughter ] we did run a fish episode. one that takes place in outer space, which was fun. love-making. >> jimmy: love-making. oh, my gosh. absolutely. now this is available on demand. and the tru tv app. >> yes, or go to itunes and just spend $20 and get the whole series. but -- >> jimmy: there you go, yeah. it's a great show to binge watch. great guest stars by the way. >> really good guest stars. can you believe it? >> jimmy: paul giamatti. michael shannon. >> i know. real actors look you in the eye. you know, i'm not used to working with people who look you in the eye. it's terrifying. [ light laughter ] i mean, isn't it? >> jimmy: yes. >> -- feeling and moments. and i'm like, "oh, please, give me a piece of tape, i'll talk to that," you know. [ laughter ] that was pretty amazing who we got on the show. >> jimmy: it's so fun. it's so fun. and coming back for season two? >> i don't know. we don't know yet. maybe. >> jimmy: well, you've got to binge watch season one and get into it. it's super, super fun. we have a clip. >> we have a clip, we did a a holiday episode. tricky-d wanted us to do one. i was like "eh," and paul was like -- paul dinello who wrote it, was just like, "let's do it." so, i don't know if you remember the karen black show, "trilogy of terror," when she brings home that zuni doll from the curiosity shop. so we borrowed that for our story and this is a clip from it where i get attacked. >> jimmy: here you go. here's a clip from the -- [ laughter ] >> and i'm wearing lollipop underpants. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right, here we go. here's a clip from the murder -- murder side episode of "at home with amy sedaris." check this out. >> neil? neil, is that you? do you want to run lines? [ indiscernible yelling ] >> ah! no! [ screaming ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: dude, you are so fun, man. we love you. amy sedaris is helping out with a holiday toy demo after the break. stick around, everybody. "at home with amy sedaris." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪♪ this weekend get great deals on last minute gifts. save big with weekend deals every weekend. only at target. ♪ ♪ ♪ they cahow many of 'em?e, sir! we don't know. dozens. all right! let's teach these freaks some manners! good luck out there, captain! thanks! but i don't need luck, i have skills... i don't have my keys. (on intercom) all hands. we are looking for the captain's keys again. they are on a silver carabiner. oh, this is bad. as long as people misplace their keys, you can count on geico saving folks money. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more on car insurance. at t-mobile when you holiday twogether, great things come in two's. like t-mobile and netflix. right now when you get an unlimited family plan, netflix is included. wow t-mobile covers your netflix subscription, so you can catch the hottest new movies and shows all year long on us. amazing and it's your last chance to buy any of these hot new samsung galaxy phones and get a 2nd one free. that's one samsung for you and one to gift. just in time to finish off your list. t-mobile...holiday twogether. this weekend get great deals on last minute gifts. save big with weekend deals every weekend. only at target. one last show together. who's with me? hell yeah! becca. what are you doing? [ cheering ] [ whimpers ] if you cry, i'm gonna cry. [ drums beating ] don't make that face. this is my regular face. ♪ freedom pitch perfect 3. rated pg-13. it's just my eczema again,t. but it's fine. yeah, it's fine. you ok? eczema. it's fine. hey! hi! aren't you hot? eczema again? it's fine. i saw something the other day. eczema exposed. your eczema could be something called atopic dermatitis, which can be caused by inflammation under your skin. maybe you should ask your doctor? go to eczemaexposed.com to learn more. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody! it's december 21st. and you guys have only four days left to shop for christmas toys. but don't worry, because we have a couple of toy experts here who are going to point you in the right direction. please welcome the star of trutv's "at home with amy sedaris", amy sedaris. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: and "tonight show" writer jo firestone. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: come on, guys. >> thank you. >> wow. >> hey, i'm also supposed to be here. >> jimmy: hey, yes, exactly. hi, guys. hi, amy and jo. do you guys know each other? >> no! >> yes. [ laughter ] well, that's awkward. >> jimmy: all right let's -- tell us, what are the big toys this holiday season? we all want to know. >> we have a lot of new terrific toys out there, jimmy. and the first one up is a luva baby here. luvabella, right here. if you want to hold. is she on? >> yeah, i'll turn her on. >> okay, what's more adorable -- >> i didn't mean -- >> than a white baby doll? [ laughter ] look at that. >> jimmy: what does the baby do? >> and what she'll do is she giggles and she suckles on just about everything. watch. [ cooing ] >> listen to that cooing. >> momma. >> momma, yes. >> jimmy: yeah, that's a good one. >> yes. >> jimmy: now why is it not a a lova baby? not a luva baby? [ crying ] >> oh, is it luva or lova? >> jimmy: well -- >> i call it luva because you can, it's like a luva when you're -- i don't know. i'm a new mother, and i'm newly engaged. >> jimmy: oh, well, well, well, congratulations! >> when i shower and it scrapes all the dead skin off my breasts. >> jimmy: that's a loofah. that's not a -- >> oh, right, that's a loofah! >> jimmy: that's a loofah baby. >> well, what's so great is you can change its diapers -- >> jimmy: yeah. >> you can draw on its face. add side burns, tattoos. >> jimmy: add sideburns and tattoos. >> yeah. >> jimmy: all right, well this is -- >> this is for people who can't have children who want children. or don't have a husband, who want a husband. >> jimmy: you get that baby -- >> yeah. >> jimmy: all right. very, very interesting. [ talking over each other ] >> it's like kind of fun and also scary. you know, like having a real baby. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, exactly, yeah. very, very good. that's an interesting toy. i'm not sure about that one. >> that's fine -- >> we do -- we would like you to rate these and -- >> oh, right. >> and we've got this new thing called a fun-mometer. okay, it's patent pending. you have to wear it on your head. >> my husband uses it. puts it on his head too. >> yes, my husband wears them, yes. wears it -- >> we both have husbands. [ talking over each other ] >> jimmy: all right, so is this good? >> yeah, it brings out your eyes. >> jimmy: thank you. so, how does this work? >> take the orange -- take the orange. take the orange. >> jimmy: can you turn that baby off? >> yeah, shut it off! >> jimmy: all right, hey, calm down. calm down. luva baby, loofah baby, go that way. >> she's quiet. she's quiet. >> jimmy: all right, good. >> loofah baby. >> jimmy: loofah baby. what do i do? >> what a horrible name. >> take the orange -- you take the orange and you put it in the green. you know what i mean? [ laughter ] >> take that orange ball -- >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> and you put it in the green. >> yeah. >> or you can also put it in the yellow or red. >> my husband -- yeah, that's it. >> yes, yes. >> okay. >> jimmy: all right, then perfect. all right. [ applause ] that baby -- i didn't like -- i didn't like -- i didn't like loofah baby. >> oh, okay. that's okay. >> yeah, i know. she'll think of me like that. our next toy is this play-doh kitchen creation. >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> and it's great, because what you do is you press different -- use different attachments -- >> jimmy: yeah, i love play-doh. >> and they'll make various food shapes. >> jimmy: yeah. >> so what you do is you take your play-doh like so. open it up. >> jimmy: yeah. i love play-doh. >> mine's dung colored which very nice. [ light laughter ] >> mine's the color of safety. >> safety. >> jimmy: safety, very nice. >> you don't want to get it on your engagement ring. >> no, this is a good time to show that you're engaged. and then -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: congratulations. >> thank you. >> jimmy: i'm not sure -- i forgot to say congrat -- oh, look at this. >> yeah. >> and you simply -- >> jimmy: this is great. >> press it like so. >> yeah. >> jimmy: look at that. >> oh, look at that. >> jimmy: i think this is fun. [ laughter ] >> oh, no. no. no. oh, no. [ applause ] >> this is good, it's also good for elderly. [ laughter ] like so. >> oh, no. >> jimmy: why is it good for the elderly? >> because it doesn't take any muscle mass. and then you can just take it off. [ laughter and applause ] like that. >> jimmy: all right. all right. i think this toy is super fun. >> yes. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i love play-doh. i'm in. >> and you can drink out of the cup and everything. don't even have to wash it. >> jimmy: that's not true at all, by the way. >> oh, it isn't? okay. >> jimmy: no, not at all. >> all right. >> now our final toy this evening is a pair of life size nordic reindeer. >> jimmy: oh, my goodness, look at this. [ cheers ] well, this is very, very exciting. >> yes. >> yes. >> now, they're five feet tall and they can support like 150 pounds. >> jimmy: okay, yeah. >> okay, how much do you weigh? >> jimmy: like, over 150. >> okay, perfect. >> jimmy: jo, are you all right? >> yeah, i've got it. >> you got it? >> jimmy: can i help you in any way? >> no -- just give me like a a push when i'm almost halfway there. >> push. >> jimmy: no, you are pushing her forward. jo -- all right, give me one leg. >> okay. oh, no. >> you got it. >> okay. >> jimmy: there you go. all right, jo you're on. >> you're on. >> jimmy: these are very -- every kid should have this. >> i need help. >> jimmy: it's super fun. >> i'm gonna be riding side saddle -- >> jimmy: you're gonna go side saddle. >> because i'm not wearing any underpants. [ light laughter ] help me. one, two, three, go! okay. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: ah, that's beautiful. now this is great. you know what? i haven't sent out my holiday card yet. this would be a perfect photo for that. do you mind? >> no, especially with that hat on your head. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: i forgot i was wearing this for my holiday pic. >> really? so light weight? >> jimmy: yeah, i didn't even know. but, i'm going to put it on this super fun -- ready? let's say gift card. >> together: gift card! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: these are all great. my thanks to amy and jo. [ cheers and applause ] check out "at home with amy sedaris" on trutv. we'll be back with stand-up from robert kelly, everybody! this is something that i think would be fun around the house. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ michael: i'm thankful that i'm alive and have a second chance. james: i'm thankful for the help and the opportunity that i received. darlene: i'm thankful to be able to help people in crisis. vanessa: i'm thankful that addiction is treatable, and that help is available. christie: new jersey is experiencing a heroin epidemic fueled by opioid painkillers. but if you or someone you love is struggling with addiction, i want you to know: we are here for you. this holiday season, choose help. call 844 reach nj or visit reachnj.gov. tha...oh, burnt-on gravy?ie. ...gotta rinse that. nope. no way. nada. really? dish issues? throw it all in. cascade platinum powers through even burnt-on gravy. nice. cascade. gives skin the moisture it needs and keeps it there longer with lock-in moisture technology skin is petal smooth after all, a cleanser's just a cleanser unless it's olay. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest can be seen this weekend at the gotham comedy club here in new york city. please welcome the very funny robert kelly! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> what's happening, everybody? how you doing? [ cheers ] yeah. this can't be zipped. so -- fyi. [ laughter ] i don't care if you offer me -- offer me $5 million, i'd have to politely decline. news is crazy. protests every week. riots. we used to have riots every 30 years. now they have riots every week. i feel bad for everybody in a a riot, but i really feel bad for the fat riot cop. [ laughter ] you know, he was just home chillin'. the phone rang. "there's a riot. get your riot gear on! be downtown in 20 minutes!" and he's like, "i haven't worn that stuff in nine years." [ light laughter ] "honey, i'm getting fired. i'm -- i wore it for halloween for years. do we still have it? it's not gonna fit." and she's like, "you never know. just try it on! you never know -- you're doing so good. i can see it right here." [ laughter ] he's like, "are you looking at me? look at me from the side." [ light laughter ] "we know. it's not going to fit." [ laughter ] "be positive!" "honey, i just hate a whole pizza. hotdogs were in the crust." [ laughter ] "i was dipping that in the queso dip behind your back. we know." and she still gets him to show up with the riot, the helmet just on top of his head. [ laughter ] [ applause ] the visor's -- the visor's all fogged up. the vest isn't covering any vital organs, just his boobs. if he gets the boob shot, he lives. you never even saw the fat riot cop before. you'll never not see him now. every riot, you'll be like, "where is he? there he is right there, look." [ light laughter ] he looks like the float in a a macy's day parade. [ laughter and applause ] i think it's because i'm getting older. i'm getting older and i don't like my friends. i think the older you get -- it's true. the older you get, the smaller your group gets. you have noticed that? where in your 20s, groups are huge. "let's all go together! all 78 of us. friends for life!" [ laughter ] the older you get. you're like, "are they going? 'cause if they're going, i'm not going. [ laughter ] because -- yeah. i hate his wife's face." [ applause ] i think because when you're in your 20s, time doesn't matter. time, you know, it's like, you know, "we're going to live forever. friends for life. my hair is always going to be here." [ light laughter ] i have 30 summers left. [ laughter ] yeah. that's a real number. i don't have time for crappy people in my life. i've dumped my friends. i have one friend, i can't stand him. he's italian, not even full blooded. so we go to an italian restaurant and all of a sudden he's off the boat from sicily. [ laughter ] it's like, what you are going to get? "i don't know, i'm thinking about getting the -- [ italian accent ] pasta fagioli." [ light laughter ] who are you? what's your name? the waiter doesn't -- he's from mexico. he doesn't understand a word you're saying, sean! [ laughter ] i -- [ cheers and applause ] i have another friend, oh, i can't stand him. he loves telling stories. you ever have friend? "dude, i've got a story." "great." and his stories stink. they just stink. and they're boring. but he thinks they're awesome. 'cause in the story he always says "true story," like you're not believing it. and you are ,because they're just boring stories. i'm like, "stop saying true story. you're not a navy seal." [ laughter ] navy seals can say "true story." their stories are epic. their stories are like, "dude, i killed five guys with a a nickel." "what?" "true story!" [ choking ] [ laughter ] "this is the nickel." this story stinks. he's like, "dude, i just went to aruba. i got a story for you." i'm like, "oh, this should suck." [ laughter ] he goes, "me and my wife, on the beach, water's edge, sun setting. we look out at the ocean at the last second, dolphin came up out of the water." [ laughter and applause ] "true story." yeah, yeah, i believe it. it's the ocean. that's their home. [ light laughter ] that's where dolphins do that kind of stuff. did it happen in the parking lot? did it come out of asphalt from under a honda civic and murder an old lady on a lark? that's nuts, i wouldn't believe that. [ laughter ] if you say "true story," the story should epic. the person's eyebrows should be like -- "whaaaaat!" true story should be nuts. like, "dude, check this out, a a month ago i was on my couch, i looked over, my dog's bunghole opened up." [ light laughter ] "i heard angels go 'ahh.'" a pearl fell out." [ laughter and applause ] "my wife walked in, went, 'i was looking for that,' picked it up, put it on her ear, left, haven't seen her since. true story. true story." [ laughter and applause ] thank you very much, everybody. thank you so much. thank you! ♪ how you doing my friend? >> jimmy: robert kelly! [ cheers and applause ] that is how you do it. for more info on robert, go to robertkellylive.com. my thanks to jason sukeikis, amy sedaris, becca hamilton, matt hamilton, robert kelly, once again! [ cheers and applause ] and give it up for the roots right there from philadelphia, pennsylvania. [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thanks for watching. have a great night. i hope to see you tomorrow. bye-bye, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- rebel wilson -- senator-elect from alabama doug jones -- featuring the 8g band with fred armisen. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that's fantastic to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. as i keep mentioning, disney world this week debuted their new president trump robot for the hall of presidents. [ light laughter ] and i just couldn't be happier about it. i mean, look at this thing. [ laughter ]