And featuring the legendary roots crew. Questlove 703 virginia steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ] jimmy ah, beautif [ cheers and applause ] beautiful crowd hot audience tonight. Welcome to the tonight show, baby this is it. [ cheers and applause ] youre here. You made it. This is the show to be at. Guys, heres what people are talking about. This morning President Trump sent a pretty crazy tweet about msnbcs Mika Brzezinski, where he accused her of getting a a facelift. [ light laughter ] then he went back to combing his hair with a dyson air blade. [ laughter and applause ] beautiful. Thats perfect. Im exhausted. [ light laughter ] i would use that to dry my hands, but by hands are too big for that. [ laughter ] thats right. Trump accused Mika Brzezinski of getting plastic surgery. Which is odd, cause thats the only thing covered by his health care plan. [ laughter and applause ] steve heyo ho hey jimmy i saw that yesterday sesame street aired a segment about refugees right before trumps travel ban went into effect. After which trump made fun of big bird for getting a beak job. [ light laughter ] hes not fooling anyone. Hes not fooling anyone. [ light laughter ] mr. President , its not for your hair. Sure, it is. [ light laughter ] but theres a lot going on in washington right now. President trump is working on health care, immigration, and tax reform. And to make sure he doesnt forget anything, trump actually likes to set reminders on his iphone. Ill show you what i mean. For example, he has one reminder that says photoshop myself on to a fake cover of playgirl. Steve wow. [ laughter and applause ] jimmy his next reminder says find out what day we celebrate the fourth of july. [ laughter and applause ] what day is it again . The third . This one says make sure that all transformers are being manufactured in america. [ applause ] theyre not real. Its a movie. And finally, this one says use twitter to insult Mika Brzezinski, because you dont know how to say her name out loud. [ laughter ] steve wow. [ applause ] jimmy good that he keeps a a list. Steve hes got it. Hes got it. Jimmy speaking of iphones, today is actually the tenth anniversary of the release of the first iphone. [ applause ] its also the tenth anniversary of someone asking their bartender, um, can you charge this for me . [ light laughter ] thanks. You dont have a cord . I think that would work. [ light laughter ] not only that, not only that, i saw that today is National Handshake day. [ cheers ] or as its also know awkwardly shake your friends fist after he went in for a a first bump day. [ laughter and applause ] yeah lets get to some sports here. I read that over 400 people in new york are trying to be the ball people for the u. S. Open. I havent seen that many people sign up to grab balls since the tsa was hiring. [ laughter and applause ] steve oh heyo hey jimmy this made me laugh. I saw that yesterday, in new hampshire, state troopers pulled over a car that was just a little overpacked. Take a look at this. The driver was traveling northbound on 93 with a a dresser, a bicycle, a rake and a shovel, a 32 inch tv, a a ladder, a shopping cart, and plenty more, all strapped to the outside of his vehicle. [ light laughter ] jimmy wow wow. The driver was like, one bungee cord ought to hold her. I think that works. [ laughter and applause ] police asked, what else is up there . And a voice from the roof said, nothing. [ laughter ] can you pass me a can of ensure . [ light laughter ] thats grandpa. Guys, check this out, airbnb is planning to launch a Luxury Service for mansions. They say its perfect for people who want to have everything stolen from their mansion. [ laughter ] i just saw that a woman gave birth to a baby on a recent Spirit Airlines flight. When the Flight Attendant said, is there a doctor on board . The passengers said, of course not. This is Spirit Airlines. [ laughter and applause ] no one here is a doctor. And this is going viral. A grandfather recently learned that his granddaughter had been born, and he had a very interesting response. Look at this. Its a grandfathers underwhelming response to his new grand child. The man was sent a video of his newborn child and he simply responded, okay. [ laughter and applause ] steve okay. Jimmy then they wrote and we won the lottery. And he was like, thats fine. [ light laughter ] then the baby wrote back, new baby, who dis . And you go, well, this is getting out of control. Stop texting each other. Call each other. You guys, get this. For the fourth time, a small town in kentucky has elected a a dog as its mayor. [ light laughter ] people were so excited at the victory party, they kept chanting, 28 more years 28 more years 28 more years [ laughter and applause ] and finally, this is pretty weird. Researchers just discovered a a sea creature called the peanut worm. And it looks a little like well, just take a look at it. This is a peanut [ cheers ] this is a new sea creature. That is well, theres one character you wont see in the next finding nemo. [ laughter and applause ] even more impressive, thats in freezing cold water, by the way. Steve wow. [ laughter ] jimmy i guess it was discovered by a new marine biologist, anthony weiner. So there you go. Steve heyo [ laughter and applause ] jimmy we have a great show tonight. Give it up for the roots. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy weve got a great show tonight. Joining us is a legendary player who is now part of the Emmy Awardwinning team covering the Upcoming Major League baseball allstar game. Alex rodriguez is here tonight [ cheers and applause ] steve yeah. Jimmy hes fantastic. Steve come on. Jimmy hes great at commentating. Alex and i are going headtohead in a game of egg russian roulette later in the show. Steve ooh. [ cheers ] jimmy so, thats gonna be fun. Yeah. Plus, this guy is so funny. He stars alongside will ferrell and amy poehler in the new movie, the house. Nick kroll is stopping by. Steve oh [ cheers and applause ] jimmy funny dude. Steve funny dude. Jimmy and we have great music from haim is here steve yeah [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh, i love them. They are talented. They are cool. They can sing, man. Guys, i always say our show is lucky to have the greatest band in late night. The roots right there, ladies and gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] there they are. But but it isnt always fun and games. From time to time, we put the roots to the test. We pick people from our audience and have the roots make up songs about them on the spot. It is time for freestylin with the roots. Here we go. [ cheers and applause ] time to freestyle with the roots jimmy hey, roots, you ready to do this . [ cheers ] woohoo jimmy yeah, woohoo who wants to the roots to write a song about them . [ cheers ] you . There you go. Stand up. And this is for you. What is your name . My names sarah. Jimmy okay, very good. Sarah. Sara . H. Jimmy h. With an h. Jimmy with an h. Where are you from . Where are you from . Pensacola, florida. Jimmy hey, pensacola, florida. Thats what im talkin about. Little florida fan woo [ light laughter ] guys, it is summertime right now. What is your what is your favorite thing to do in the summer . Go to the beach. Jimmy go to the beach. Any beach in particular . Pensacola beach. Jimmy Pensacola Beach. Woo [ light laughter ] Pensacola Beach, florida. Guys, we have our pal sarah, that is with an h. Because hs are not ew. Yeah. [ light laughter ] jimmy she is from pensacola, florida. And her favorite thing to do in the summer is go to the beach. The Pensacola Beach woo [ cheers ] for this one, speaking of the beach, can you guys maybe do like a could you do like a beach boys style song . Sarahs in the ocean im glad you arrived from pensacola florida thats real long drive and in the middle of summer she likes to put her feet in the sands of pensacola cola beach pensacola cola beach [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thank you for being here. Can i scoot through . Do you mind . Im gonna scoot on through here. Excuse me for a second. Sorry about that. Hey, how you doing . Nice to see you. How are ya . [ light laughter ] how are you doing . Hey, buddy. Hello. Hi. How you doing . Good. Jimmy fantastic. How are ya . Sorry about that. I know. Youre enjoying yourself. Youre relaxed. How are you doing . You doing good . Hey, guys. Lets get someone from the front down here. [ cheers ] uh, yeah. Sir, how about you . Stand up, stand up. Yeah, stand up. Hey, hey, what is your name . Dave. [ cheers ] jimmy can you hold this . Oh, yeah, yeah. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy they love the name dave. I guess they like the name dave. What do you what do you do for a living, dave . A comedian. [ laughter ] jimmy oh, my goodness. A comedian. Must be that sounds like fun. Do you have any fun plans this summer . Me . Jimmy yeah yeah, yeah. Im going to play radio city for 14 nights. [ cheers and applause ] yes. Its going to be amazing. Ill be coheadlining with the likes of chris rock and erykah badu and childish gambino, lauryn hill, lil wayne, mos def, also known as yasiin bey, chance the rapper, and of course the legendary roots crew. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy the roots will be there as well . Tariq can we go right now . Jimmy you cant go right now. No, no, no. You can go right now. Jimmy youre gonna be there for 14 nights . 14. Jimmy 14 nights at radio city music hall . Yes, indeed. Jimmy wow. I would love to come. I bet you would, jimmy. [ laughter ] jimmy i would. All these other people are invited, i would just love that would be fantastic. If it goes well, are you going to add any extra shows . You know what . Yeah, uh, yeah. Jimmy why not . If it goes well. [ light laughter ] jimmy yeah. I cant get a ticket, can i . [ light laughter ] guys, the movie spiderman homecoming opens next week. A lot of people are talking about it. If you were a superhero, dave, what would be your super power . Disappearing for long periods of time. [ laughter and applause ] jimmy disappearing for long periods of time. That is true. Jimmy too long, too long, i think. And what would be your one weakness, dave . The need for money. [ laughter and applause ] jimmy oh, man guys, we have this, our friend dave here. He says hes a comedian. [ light laughter ] and hes gonna be at radio city for 14 nights. Wow thats gonna be fun. And youre gonna be there woo if he could have any super power, it would be disappearing for long periods of time. [ light laughter ] and his one weakness would be the need for money. Yeah, thats right. Thats when i reappear. [ laughter and applause ] jimmy oh, man unbelievable. This is the last one, in honor of new edition winning the b. E. T. Lifetime Achievement Award this past weekend, can you guys do like a new edition kind of song . Tariq sure. [ light laughter ] his name is dave and he just begun a comedian sounds like lots of fun and your super power at least from what ive heard is to disappear but the money makes you return my name is dave i just begun theres a lot on the mic and im havin fun [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thanks, everybody thank you, Dave Chappelle [ cheers and applause ] thank you so much. Jimmy and thanks to the roots, as always. Well be right back with Alex Rodriguez [ cheers and applause ] when youre close to the people you love, does psoriasis ever get in the way of a touching moment . 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A lipton meal is what you bring to it. And the refreshing taste of lipton iced tea. So, if anyone has a reason that these two should not be wed, speak now. coughs so sorry. Oh no. Its just that your friend daryl here is supposed to be Live Streaming the wedding and hes not getting any service. I missed, like, the whole thing. What . And i just got an unlimited plan. Its the right plan, wrong network. You see, verizon has the largest, most reliable 4g lte network in america. Its built to work better in cities. Tell you what, just use mine. Thanks. No problem. All right, lets go live. Say hi to everybody who wasnt invited vo when it really, really matters, you need the best network and the best unlimited. Just 45 per line for four lines. Allure best of beauty and Marie Claires most wanted. Eyes show emotion, not your age. Olay eyes. Ageless. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy Dave ChappelleDave Chappelle [ cheers and applause ] the funniest man on earth. With that, i want to say, without Dave Chappelle, the roots and i wouldnt be working together right now. Questlove pretty much. Jimmy yeah, i was meeting around for different people for the the show when we started late night. And i met with neal brennan, who produced chappelles show with dave. I said i said, would you and he goes, whos your band . Like, i dont know. Ive got no idea. And he goes, oh, you should we work with the roots. Theyre fantastic. You should call the roots. Do you think the roots would do it . And he goes, oh no. The roots would never do it, but they would know somebody. [ laughter ] so like i go, oh, whats the worst they could say is no . So i asked the roots if they would do it, or consider it, and i didnt hear back from you guys for three weeks. [ laughter ] hey, guys, lets keep the show going, here. We are joined right now, by a a world series champion. A threetime mvp. And a 14time major league allstar, who is part of an emmyaward winning team covering the mlb allstar game tuesday, july 11th on fox. Please welcome back our friend Alex Rodriguez [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh, my goodness. I love these guys. Jimmy no, theyre the best. They are awesome. Jimmy you cannot beat the roots. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hello, new york. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy come on, new york. They love you, they love you. Thank you for coming back to the show. Thanks for inviting me back. Jimmy well, please, we love you. Youve been having a this is a very interesting summer for you, because youre not youre not on the field. Its the first summer i have off since i was probably 10 or 15yearsold. Jimmy wow. But it was my first summer off with my two daughters. I know you have two girls. Jimmy i do, yeah. Mine are 12 and 9, natasha and ella, and were just having a great time. Jimmy are you just like hanging out . What are you doing . Pool time . You know, they came to me they came with me to the west coast, to do shark tank. And thats one of their favorite shows. They love that. Jimmy howd you get shark tank . Howd you get involved with shark tank . You know, they just called up and said hey, would you like to be one of the sharks . And im like, yeah. Its one of my favorite shows. I watch with my mother, i watch it with my daughters. And you know what . You get entertained, its fun, and you also learn something every time you see the show. Which, i love it. Jimmy oh yeah, a love that bit. But are you good at like, investing in like ideas . And some of the no, im not good at anything like that. [ laughter ] jimmy youre good at everything. What are you talking about . Youre arod. Youre unbelievable. I saw you. I saw you play. Youre amazing. Then i saw you being a a commentator. I go you just slipped right in, and youre fantastic. Thank you, thank you. You know what i love about shark tank . Is that, for the next generation, you dont feel like you have to dunk a basketball, hit a home run to be really cool. You can actually wear a suit and tie, get an education and also be cool. And you can get the same high from doing a great deal, and inventing something, as you do hitting a home run or winning a a world championship. And ive done both and theyre both pretty cool. [ light laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy youve actually done both. Also, you are now involved in a a pretty, i would say, low profile relationship with someone. [ light laughter ] and no one i dont know if you guys know, but hes alex is dating a girl named jennifer lopez. And a [ cheers and applause ] and we love there are some pictures i saw you guys off instagram. Look at that. You have a like a paris, romantic who does this romantic . Look at that [ audience aws ] come on, man. Thats living the life. You know, i got to share something with everyone, because this is like one of the most humbling experiences of my life. You know, when i was with the yankees and we won the world championship, and you know, you wear the pin stripes, you think youre pretty cool. But then you hang out with jennifer. And they confuse me with the Security Guard all the time. [ laughter and applause ] i promise you, we were at the met ball, and the paparazzi were screaming at me. Not even in english, get the hell out of the way get out of the way, were gonna take a picture. Jimmy really . So there you go, there you go. Youre with jlo. Thats right, this is humbling for you. I love this. This is fantastic. [ light laughter ] lets talk about lets talk about the yankees. cause you went to call that game recently. Mmhmm. Jimmy and was that was it odd for you . Because those are your teammates, really. It was so strange. And you know, im so lucky to still be a part of the yankees and be advising our general partner, hal steinbrenner. And mentoring our young you know, players. Like gary sanchez and of course, aaron judge. Jimmy yeah. We have a phenomenal young team, and i couldnt be more proud to be a part of the organization. Jimmy but like, when youre calling when youre talking about this, do you go like, and thats a oh, thats a a okay, here they go. [ light laughter ] youre like, yes, yes. Go, go, go you cant do that though, youve gotta bite your tongue. You kn