Roots crew. Questlove 687, new caledonia. Steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ] jimmy welcome. Thats what im talking about. Looking good out there. Welcome, everybody, welcome. Welcome to the tonight show. This is it, baby. [ cheers and applause ] thank you for being here. Heres what people are talking about. Some big news out of washington this morning. President trump tweeted that hes nominating Christopher Wray to be the new director of the fbi and called him a man of impeccable credentials. Wray was like, thanks, can i put that on my resume when you fire me . [ laughter and applause ] thank you so much. This is interesting, i read that wray was actually Chris Christies lawyer. [ laughter ] he helped christie with the bridgegate scandal and also got restraining orders dropped from seven kfcs. Steve wow. [ laughter ] jimmy seven. [ applause ] steve seven. Jimmy seven. Steve thats a lot of kfcs. Jimmy he tried steve yeah. Jimmy former fbi director james comey released the Opening Statement for his testimony tomorrow. He said that trump once invited him out to dinner and it turned out to be just the two of them. [ laughter ] even worse, he made them sit on the same side of the booth. [ laughter and applause ] this is weird. [ indiscernible ] after dinner comey says trump asked him for loyalty, and then they just looked at each other in silence. [ light laughter ] then melania said, thats what i should have done. Steve whoa [ laughter and applause ] jimmy i saw that a bar in d. C. Is opening at 9 30 a. M. Tomorrow for comeys hearing. [ cheers ] did you hear about this . Its turning into a big thing. So the bar is opening at 9 30 a. M. In d. C. For comeys hearing and will give everyone a free round of drinks each time trump tweets about it. [ cheers and applause ] which means everyone will be blacked out around 9 31 a. M. [ laughter and applause ] one minute of it. Steve one minute. Jimmy guys, its been nearly a week since President Trump pulled out of the paris climate agreement, and hes still getting a lot of criticism for it. So to address everyones concerns, trump went out and started his own weather channel. [ light laughter ] and its actually on right now. Donald, whats happening in your neck of the woods . Thanks, jimmy. [ cheers and applause ] the public has all been subjected to fake news, but let me tell you, youve also been subjected to fake weather, okay . [ light laughter ] so right now im going to give you the real forecast. Okay . Everyones worried about climate change, but were going to have the most fantastically beautiful the weathers going to be so beautiful, were going to be able to go year round. I mean, theres going to be great golfing down here in florida. Were going to have great golfing up the coast of georgia. Even here in colorado were going to have some great golfing. I mean, this is fantastic. Also down here, i mean look at this place. This place is called the gulf of mexico, okay . Now thats a part of mexico id like to visit. [ laughter ] jimmy all right, sure, sure. Later this week, later this week, there will be a brief cold front moving down towards washington, but it wont be there long. Shes usually in new york with my son. [ light laughter ] and finally, and this is a big one. Tonight at 3 00 a. M. , youre going to want to watch out for a huge tweet storm, okay . Followed by a category five covfefe. [ light laughter ] okay, back to you jimmy. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thank you very much, mr. President. Donald trump. [ cheers and applause ] category five covfefe. Hey, i saw that todays Vice President mike pences 58th birthday. Thats right. But the white house is gonna leave the decorations up all week so they can celebrate pences inauguration. [ cheers and applause ] save the date. Thats right. Today is mike pences 58th birthday. Of course, a lot of people wrote him messages on his facebook wall. Check out what they had to say. First, his wife karen wrote happy birthday, dear, i cant wait for you to come home so i can give you a big, long handshake. [ laughter and applause ] paul ryan wrote, im wishing you a year of good health. P. S. That counts as your health care plan. [ laughter ] steve wow. Jimmy treasury secretary Steve Mnuchin wrote mhappy mbirthday, mnmike. I dont cant. Bnirthday . Nappy . A nappy bnirthday, mnike. And finally, education secretary betsy devos wrote, hi there, i just want to wish you a very happy thanksgiving. [ audience ohs ] [ laughter and applause ] well, thats fun. Very thoughtful. I saw that president obama visited george and amal clooney at their home in the u. K. Right before amal gave birth to their twins. I knew obamacare was good, but i didnt know he actually showed up to deliver your baby. [ laughter and applause ] steve wow. Jimmy of course, i want to say congratulations to George Clooney who became a dad at 56. [ cheers and applause ] its now a competition between george and amal whether the twins first word will be mom or grandpa. [ laughter ] thats right, George Clooney and his wife just welcomed twins. Afterwards, george said, we just need nine more and we can rob a casino. There you go. [ laughter and applause ] and finally on last nights episode of americas got talent we love that show. There was a guy who performed a a balancing act with a rather strange partner. Watch this. Theres the partner . [ light laughter ] jimmy well, its official, america has finally run out of talent. There you go. [ applause ] it got even weirder when the doll advanced but the guy didnt. We have a great show tonight. Give it up for the roots, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy welcome, everybody. Welcome. Thank you so much for watching. We have got a fantastic show tonight. Hes one of my favorite comedians. Steve of all time. Jimmy i just saw his special recently on netflix, its called hitlers dog. [ light laughter ] you have to see it to understand the joke. But man, oh, man, its one of the funniest specials ive ever seen. They have emmys for standup specials, right . Steve they should. Jimmy this should win an emmy. Its unbelievable. Anyway, check it out. He also is a New York Times bestselling author. Norm macdonald is on the show. Steve yeah. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy the special, the book is insane. Steve both of them are insane. Jimmy the book is theyre both so tricky and so well delivered, i cant even get into it. This book is not a memoir. Well talk to norm about it. Its a memoir, but its all fake. [ light laughter ] i know its hard to describe. But its fantastic. Its a great read. But the standup special, too. You gotta see it. Its just great. Hes one of the funniest dudes ever. Plus shes written a wonderful new Childrens Book called she persisted 13 american women who changed the world. Chelsea clinton is joining us. [ cheers and applause ] this is great, too. Also here tonight, im very excited about this. He comes on, hes 13 years old, hes an animal expert. Robert irwin is dropping by and hes got animals. [ cheers and applause ] we have great music tonight also from rae sremmurd, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] rae sremmurd. Rae sremmurd. Steve rae sremmurd. Jimmy guys, you know that they say a picture is worth a a thousand words . Well, its also worth one meme. Ill show you what im talking about. Its time for this week in memes. Here we go. [ cheers and applause ] this is week in memes this week in memes yeah jimmy now first up, lets take a look at this recent photo of donald trump and pope francis. [ laughter ] this meme is called, when bae takes you to dave and busters but you thought you were going to da club. [ laughter and applause ] next is a photo of bernie sanders. [ laughter ] his meme is called, when you spot the fidget spinners at walmart and youre like [ applause ] next we have a photo of sean spicer. Take a look at that one. His meme says, when you see your ex in target and you hope she thinks you a mannequin. [ laughter ] next is a photo of emma thompson. Her meme says, when the bouncers escorting you out but you let the squad know you cool. [ applause ] shes the best, man. Next up we have a photo of kim jongun. [ light laughter ] his meme says, when you lie and tell da restaurant its yo birthday. [ laughter and applause ] next up is a photo of queen elizabeth. This meme says, when your man says hes with the boys, but you know hes lying. [ applause ] and take a look at this next photo of donald trump in saudi arabia. This meme says, when you get dat uber pool. [ laughter and applause ] and finally, heres another photo of kim jongun. His meme says, ermahgerd, bird wertching. [ laughter and applause ] that was this week in memes. Stick around, well be right back with 13yearold animal expert robert irwin. [ cheers and applause ] [laughs] you have a side that is retired playing tag and gettin tired. You have a side that saves for their tuition. But right now it looks like bedtime is the mission. A side that owns your own store. Looks like you need to expand some more. Thats why theres nationwide. They help protect and grow your many sides. Nationwide is on your side. With motionsense technology. Degree has redefined deodorant so that i can redefine. Power. Footwork. Range. The more i move, the more it works. Degree. It wont let you down. Schick hydro®. Protecting mankind, one face at a time. Schick hydro®. Technology that transforms. Um, i cant have happen what happened t time. Ahem. Heres my card. Im sure you know your profits are down 8 . So, just let me know if you want to change that. I believe in you break through , break through cindy, you dont evenno dress. Ress. Uhuh, youre not going anywhere in those rags. Cindy . Introducing an allnew crossover, toyota chr. Toyota. Lets go places. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy welcome back, everybody we are joined right now by a a 13yearold animal expert from the australia zoo. Please welcome back to our show, robert irwin, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy robert, its always good to see you. It is so great to see you. Jimmy how are you doing . Everything good . I am absolutely awesome. Thank you so much for having me back on. You have the best audience, the best viewers in the entire world. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy i agree. I bet youre getting youre getting good feedback from our appearances . Absolutely. Everyones been so nice. So thank you very much. Its just a great experience. Jimmy oh, im happy. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. Jimmy we love having you on. You always bring really cool animals. And you always have a very informative but also very scary for me. [ light laughter ] but first, i want to talk about you are going to go on a big trip here. Whats the expedition . Tell us about that. So every single year a team of scientists from the australia zoo and my family actually go up to the steve irwin wildlife reserve, which is this huge reserve. And its about the size of new york city and its just massive. And weve got all kinds of different animals there. Weve actually invited people to come with us on an expedition to research all these different animals. Weve actually got the most comprehensive study of crocodiles in the entire world. Were learning these amazing things. Its techniques that my dad actually started. So anyone who wants to can actually come with us and experience this remote bushland in australia. Jimmy really . Great, it is amazing, really. Jimmy what do we have to do . Go to a web site or something . How do we . Exactly. Yeah. So you go to australiazooexpeditions. Com. Jimmy oh, yeah, yeah. And you can come with us. The reserve is the size its huge. Its twice the size of singapore. Its amazing. Jimmy wow. Yeah. Jimmy oh, my goodness. Yeah. Jimmy i know that you didnt invite me personally but youre inviting everybody [ laughter ] anyone who wants to do it. Yeah. Well, actually, without crocodiles weve caught over 150. And i know that you cant come with us because youll be doing the show. Jimmy yeah. But weve decided that the first crocodile that were going to catch, were going to name jimmy fallon, after you. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy yeah . Yes. Absolutely. Jimmy no way. And you can actually go online. Jimmy and i can check on him and stuff . You can track jimmy fallon. You can see exactly where he goes. Itll be awesome. Jimmy its like twitter except for alligators. Yeah. You can track where yes. Exactly. Jimmy yeah. Youre totally right. Yeah. Jimmy im honored. Thats so cool. All right, robert, what did you bring me today . Lets see some animals. All right. First up weve got, actually a a very cute and fluffy animal to start with. [ audience aws ] this is joe. And hes a north american badger. Hes really cool. So the north american badgers jimmy oh, honey badger. As the name suggests jimmy yeah, badgers dont care. No. Yeah. Exactly. Now they are similar to the honey badger. Jimmy is that hurting him . No, no, hes all good. [ light laughter ] they are quite feisty. In fact, in africa the honey badger has been known to back down lions. They have no fear at all. Jimmy they really dont. Yeah, but i think you might actually be able to pet him if you like. There you go. Give him a little pat. [ laughter ] he loves his pat. He really does. There you go. Ooh. [ laughter ] jimmy i like this part. There you go. Jimmy yep. He feels like i thought he would, too. Hes got that really loose skin. So if an animal were to grab him, he can turn around and bite them. Yeah, its really cool. Jimmy how is he allowed to be here . [ laughter ] how old is he . Hes fine. Hes a young one. So hes only about a month old. [ audience aws ] so hes not going to do too much damage. Jimmy that is a beautiful animal. But we can feed him if you like. Weve got a little plate of food there. Jimmy yeah. And hes omnivorous. So hell eat plants and hell also eat little animals as well. So if you pop that right there. Oh give him a little nip. There you go. [ laughter ] there you go. Jimmy there you go, pal. [ laughter ] look at that. [ audience aws ] he lifted the plate up himself and everything. Isnt that wild . [ laughter ] and you can see his nose there. Hes got a really acute sense of smell. So he can detect anything from, like, a little animal like a a bird or maybe a little insect. Theyre really, really good that way. Jimmy wow. See those little claws there, too . Theyre great at digging. Jimmy yeah. And when he gets older, in the wild, he would actually build a den underground and dig it out. Jimmy yeah. Fascinating. Jimmy he can back down a a lion . Yeah. Yeah, so if he [ laughter ] if he catches a food item, nothing takes it off him. Jimmy i think were ready to get rid of him. Yeah, okay. Jimmy great to see him. It was great to see him. He is very cool. [ cheers and applause ] there we go. Its pretty exciting. Jimmy yeah. Do you have anything like stuffed animals or like toys . [ laughter ] like, plush animals . Not this time. Jimmy no, okay, yeah. But weve got a really special one. This is a reptile this time. Jimmy okay. This is donatella. And donatella is an alligator snapping turtle. Isnt he amazing . Hes very young. Hes only about two years old at the moment. Jimmy yeah. But youre welcome to hold him. Jimmy all right, where do i hold him . Just make sure just down there. Make sure you dont get anywhere near his mouth because hes got quite a bite on him. But this one [ laughter ] jimmy why would you hand him to me . When they get full grown, theyll easily just be able to bite through human bone. [ laughter ] hes only about two years old. Jimmy ah, hes moving his neck [ laughter ] wait, how long is his neck . How long is his neck . Youll be good, youll be good. Jimmy hes moving his neck. Ah ahh ow robert, take him all right all right. Jimmy oh, gosh. Save yourself. He was slipping oh, my gosh. Hes only about two years old. Weve got one that 100 years old, full grown that is ready to meet you. Does that sound good . Jimmy a 100yearold . 100yearold jimmy snapping turtle . Snapping turtle. Alligator snapping turtle. And his name is sheldon. All right, come on out, sheldon. So this is one that you would definitely not want to get anywhere near his mouth. [ light laughter ] jimmy look at that. Oh, my you can see just at the end of his tongue, hes got this thing called the lure and it looks bit like a worm. So hell cram himself underwater in a little crevice and wiggle it around so like a a little fish might think its a food item. And then it will swim right up into his mouth and all of a a sudden, he grabs the fish. [ laughter ] it is astonishing. Jimmy we were both making the same face at one point. [ laughter ] yes. How cool is he . [ cheers and applause ] thats awesome. Isnt he just like a dinosaur . Jimmy i cant believe i was afraid of that little guy. [ laughter ] donatello, please. Youre a joke, donatello, please. Grow up, one day. You wish. You wish, yeah. In a hundred years thats what hell look like. Jimmy in a hundred years, yeah. Ill see you in a hundred years, buddy, please. Well, thank you very much, sheldon. Jimmy bye, sheldon. Take care, buddy. Well done, well done. [ cheers and applause ] awesome. Jimmy well done. [ applause ] that is great. Jimmy you have more stuff . Yes oh, absolutely okay. So for this one, i want you to come around to the front of the desk. Were going to come around, ill grab this bottle. Now, youre welcome just to go on, like, on your hands and knees right here. [ laughter and applause ] you can kneel down like this. Youre fine. Youll be fine. Its all good. Jimmy i know. This is just e youre good. And were about to meet hazel. So come on out, hazel. Jimmy sounds like a cute name and its probably going to be like a something that frightens [ audience aws ] no, it is very cute. Here she is. So hazel is a baby kangaroo. [ audience aws ] what do you think . You want your bottle . There you go. Oh, isnt she great . [ applause ] these are from jimmy how old is she . Shes actually only about eight months at the moment. Shes a joey, shes a baby kangaroo. And these guys of course occur in australia. If youd like to come around you can actually hold this bottle and feed her. So come around to this side. Jimmy be very careful. There you go. Jimmy like a little there you go. Jimmy like a little bunny rabbit kind of thing. Yeah. Its like an oversized bunny rabbit. And shes actually quite small but she will get a lot bigger. This particular species is the red kangaroo. And theyre the largest species the largest kangaroo species. And you can see those legs. Thats what helps them jump. They can jump 30 feet in one single leap. Its astonishing. There we go. Jimmy yeah, and i mean this is yeah. I think shes got all her milk. Jimmy what do they eat if people arent out there with bottles of milk . Just grass. Just grass. Its okay. Jimmy okay, good. But i think shes done. What you can do is if you kind of lightly blow in her face, like this, thats kind of how you introduce yourself. Jimmy blow in her face . Yeah, blow in her face. [ laughter ] jimmy hazel, thank you for no. Jimmy no. Right . She doesnt want to. [ audience aws ] jimmy aw she gave you a little kiss. Jimmy thats pretty cute. She gave me a kiss. Shes so cute. Jimmy all right, hazel, thank you for coming on the show. Thank you, hazel. Jimmy i appreciate it. Thank you. Byebye. [ light laughter ] there you go. Jimmy i just want to blow, i didnt know what to do. Okay, good. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] that was nerveracking as well. All right. Actually, how about we come around one more time, because this animal i want you to just sit here in front of the desk. This one can be a little bit feisty. Jimmy this one is going to attack me. I know it. I can feel it. [ laughter ] i want you to just grab this bottle. Jimmy okay. Okay. Jimmy yeah. Now, the animal that im about to get out jimmy i dont take this bottle, no. This is for the animal. The animal im about to bring out is amazing. Theyre an african animal. They can get up to 300 pounds and theyve been known to kill adult lions. They are amazing. [ light laughter ] all right. Here we go. Are you ready . Jimmy we might have to go to commercial. [ laughter ] ready for this . Jimmy yeah. Here we go. Put this here. All right, come on out, guys. Jimmy oh, no what are they . Theyre baby warthogs. [ audience aws ] theyre so cute. You can give them a bottle. Jimmy how many how many of them are there . There are three of them in there. There you go. Have your milk. Now these guys are really, really young. Theyre only a couple months old. But when they are full grown, as i said, theyll get up and over 300 pounds in weight. Jimmy 300 pounds each. Arent they incredible . Jimmy theyre amazing. Weve got eenie, meanie and miny. Jimmy oh, my gosh [ audience aws ] theyve got really cute names. And when they get older, theyll develop these tusks. [ laughter ] and the tusk is what helps them dig underground. They love eating, like, tree roots. Jimmy this is tough already. This ones like really getting into this. Yeah. [ light laughter ] jimmy into this nipple here. Yeah. Yeah. Arent they wild . So the warthogs are just amazing. Theyre one of my favorite animals. Jimmy miny come here. Is this meanie or miny . No, that ones miny. Jimmy miny. Robert, thank you so much for coming on and bringing these animals. Aw, totally. No worries. Jimmy this is always a trip for us. [ cheers and applause ] robert irwin, everybody. Robert irwin. Norm macdonald joins us next. Stick around, everybody. Hi, buddy. Eenie. [ cheers and applause ] sometimes, you feel the need to take. A smellfie. Hanes wants to end the smellfie. Those quick selfsniffs. To check the ol smell levels. But this thing weve all done doesnt need to be a thing. Theres a smart way to stay fresh. Hanes with freshiq advanced odorprotection technology. Get your free trial pack at hanes. Com. T my license cheering woo going on my first targetrun. Need anything . Laundry detergent toothpaste ill get my purse. Ok, nana. Get everyday low prices on everyday essentials, targetrun and done. Listen, do you hear that . You always h. Have been. My best. Friend. Forever. To friendship. Music piano cover of guns n roses sweet child o mine itbut one i think with quesa simple answer. 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[ cheers and applause ] jimmy our first guest tonight is a very funny and very talented comedian whos first book, based on a true story not a memoir is a New York Times bestseller, and is available in paperback june 13th. You can also see him performing at the Paramount Theater in huntington, new york, june 16th, at Helium Comedy Club in portland, oregon, july 14th through the 16th. Everyone, please welcome, the one, and only, Norm Macdonald. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh, norm wow. Welcome back on the show. Oh, its great to be here, man. I didnt realize i had that gig in january in july, whatever. [ light laughter ] jimmy now, youve got to show up at these places, yeah. Norm, i saw your special on netflix, i got to say, that was one of my favorite things that ive ever watched. Oh, so sweet of you. Jimmy i enjoyed it so much. I didnt want it to end. Gosh, theres so many funny bits in this thing. One is the one is you get into this whole rif about commercials, and you say you dont like this commercial where they tell you everything you already know. Oh, yeah. Well, theres a guy, yeah. He goes theres a guy and he goes, you like gold . [ laughter ] and i go, yeah, sure i do. He says, you know, gold gets more expensive. Youre like, i understand gold. [ laughter ] he goes, gold is valuable. I go, stop telling me i [ laughter ] jimmy we understand the concept of gold. Yes. Daffy duck i learned that from. [ light laughter ] gold. But thank you. That was very nice of you to say about my special. Jimmy oh, i loved it. I think its one of the best things. You have to check it out. cause you dont understand how you hitlers dog can be just funny, but its so funny because just youre saying you got to love its about love. You know, this is going to sound odd. And i didnt mean to come out here and say this, but you know, youre always influenced by your elders in comedy, but sometimes youre influenced by your juniors. And i always like that you infused everything you did with what i think is a sense of of overreaching love. Jimmy thank you. Thats right, i do. I do. [ cheers and applause ] i try. But lets talk about the book here. This is Norm Macdonald, this is based on a true story. I think when you came on the last time it was called a memoir. Yeah, it was. The hardcover was named memoir, and then, so, what happened was the New York Times, they have their bestseller list, you know. And so, they put mine in the it was i wrote a novel. It was a novel. Jimmy yeah. But i just put memoir in the title. Jimmy sure. So, i thought they would read it, you know . [ laughter ] and they said they read it. I i contacted them and i say, well, clearly this is not a memoir, its a novel. And they said, we thought it was a memoir. So, its either the worst novel or could be the best novel of all time. Jimmy yeah, i think it really is. And its such a its such a its such a just so well written, so congrats on this. Its in paperback, everyone pick this up. And it is available now, apparently. Jimmy yeah. I just heard. Jimmy is it . Whatever date you said. But they said just backstage, they said, jimmys wrong, its available now, a lady told me. Jimmy who who said this . The turtle lady . No. [ laughter ] jimmy she doesnt know about when your book comes out. I was stopped i was stopped on the way in here by a a cop and he said, anything you say can and will be held against you. I said, blake lively. [ laughter and applause ] [ rimshot ] jimmy oh gosh, a cop. You make me laugh. Norm are you are you going to work on i hate to say this, but are you going to work on another book . I cant im working on one now. Jimmy you are . Yeah. As a matter of fact, i brought it. Been working on it 24 7, god, all the time. And 24 hours a day, 7 days a a week. 24 7. [ light laughter ] so anyways, i thought maybe id favor you and your audience with a first look. Jimmy oh, my goodness, wed be honored. [ cheers and applause ] this is fantastic. Thats my working title. [ talking over each other ] these are called galleys. Ill just read here. Jimmy sure, sure. This is exciting. Its june 7th and im on the tonight show. I always feel comfortable sitting next to my old friend jimmy fallon. I was smartly but tastefully attired. [ laughter ] in a suit jacket of brooding gray. Recalling the shadows that fall from the peaks of haunted mountain ranges. [ laughter ] jimmy what . And the moment before an unexpected storm. Offset by a tie of a certain hue, that evoked the dropping petals of my past. The flowers having passed out of youth and into the mysterious and commanding realm of age and wisdom. In a sudden it struck me, this bit about reading volume two of my memoirs was bombing. [ laughter ] jimmy no, thats not true. Says it was bombing big time. [ light laughter ] jimmy this is a book that youre writing. A moment later, i begin questioning every decision i ever made. [ laughter ] was i wrong to choose a life in the performing arts and reject the opportunity to be a boot black . [ light laughter ] as my father had been and his father before him. Well, it appeared all was lost. Then out of the corner of my eye [ light laughter ] i spotted jimmy. And he had a curious look on his face. Was it possible, the unflappable jimmy fallon might actually laugh . [ laughter ] old stonefaced fallon [ laughter ] as we used to call him up at 8h, by god, theres a rule in show business that if you got a a laugh from old jimmy fallon, then by god, you earned it. [ laughter ] so, something occurred to me and i decided to give jimmy a a sudden look. [ laughter ] then, from my other side, well, i heard old steve higgins, and he began to laugh. Well, he laughed so hard he coughed up blood. [ laughter ] which later turned out to be a a complete coincidence. An unrelated subdural hematoma. [ laughter ] the bit, this bit were doing right now, jimmy, soon to be known in history simply as the bit [ laughter ] ended as the audience took to its feet to deliver a a spontaneous standing ovation. Jimmy oh, my goodness. [ cheers and applause ] Norm Macdonald oh, my goodness. Norm macdonald. Based on a true story not a a memoir is available right now Chelsea Clinton joins us after the break. Stick around, everybody. Oh, what a great book [ cheers and applause ] classic hersheys outside. With a new creamy, crunchy inside. New hersheys cookie layer crunch. Classic reimagined. I wish you were here. I miss home. Tango for the guy who finds a way. Always unstoppable. I may be dead, but let me tell myou one last thing. D get the new ipad pro it has the powerful a10x fusion chip, so you wont miss me at all thanks ghost computer. Whoops, forgot my powercord, coming back down. Welcome to maxx you. You are whimsical, vibrant, statement making. You stand out in a crowd. And are pulled together. You follow your own lead and show your strength. Always comfortable in your own skin. We see what makes you unique. So we have something for everyone, at a price thats just right for you. Maxx you. Maxx life. T. J. Maxx with simply right checking from santander bank, just make one deposit, payment, withdrawal, or transfer each month to waive the monthly fee. And theres no minimum balance. Youre alright with simply right checking from santander bank. Are you feeling alright, baby . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy our next guest is the author of this brandnew book called she persisted 13 american women who changed the world. Its available now. And as of today, it is number one on the New York Times bestsellers list, and childrens picture book. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Chelsea Clinton. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy congratulations. Thank you. Jimmy number one. Hows it going . I know, i just got the news. Im so excited. Jimmy thats fantastic. Thank you very much. Jimmy i want to get into the book and talk about that, jimmy i guess its the i saw your parents at a serious fun gala not too long ago. Did you have the beard . Jimmy i didnt have it yet. Okay. Jimmy but i i talked to them for a little bit. Your dad was so nice and talked to me about the tonight show. And hes just hes just such a great speaker. Im gonna keep him. Jimmy yeah, and i found this photo of him. And of your mom as well, when they first met. Look at this beard. Yeah. Jimmy look at that. [ laughter ] look at that one i know, i mean, jimmy something to aspire to. Jimmy yeah, i mean, thats a real deal you got to work on the hair, too thought, right. Jimmy thats a good beard right there. Oh, my gosh. I love that one, man. Yeah, well, see if he has any advice for me on that one. Okay, ill get back to you. Jimmy yeah, exactly, yeah. Now you spent a lot of time campaigning for your mom and with your mom. Okay, what is that even remotely i couldnt imagine the the scrutiny and everything just comes under being the daughter of someone running for president. How do you deal with all that . Well, the scrutiny certainly hasnt stopped. As we were talking about earlier. There was an article that came out today about the fact that i wear the same shoes a lot, which im actually wearing again this evening. [ light laughter ] jimmy can you believe that thats a story . You should be allowed to wear your shoes more than once. How dare i wear scuffed shoes. Um, theyre really comfortable. And i just [ cheers ] oh, thank you. Yeah. [ light laughter ] i think its something that working women and probably particularly working women new yorkers can empathize with me, and you find a good pair of shoes, you just stay with them. Jimmy you should be able to wear the same shoes thats [ cheers and applause ] i dont know how you do it, but youre great at doing it. Wearing the same shoes . Jimmy no, the putting up with these stories coming out. [ laughter ] not wearing the same shoes. No, no, no, i dont know anything about your shoes. But putting up with these dumb stories that come out and just oh, well, i mean, you have to laugh. Jimmy yeah. I mean, with everything happening in the world, like this is what a newspapers gonna spend ink on . I mean jimmy its just silly. I think perspectives important. I mean, you asked about last year. Admittedly the biggest thing that happened in my life last year, was i became a mom for the second time. Jimmy i know, which is great. Congratulations. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. My son aiden was born june 18th, so its about to be his oneyear birthday. [ audience aws ] yeah, hes really supermushy. [ light laughter ] jimmy thats great. Are you throwing a big party . His first word wasnt dada. Jimmy what . I know. Jimmy what were his first words . Byebye. Jimmy oh, was it byebye . It was so sweet. Jimmy thats pretty cute. Dada was his second word though. Jimmy dada is good. Im trying really hard. I know you are, i know you are. So, for me, one of the great just stories last year while kind of advocating for my mom, whom im unabashedly unapologetically deeply biased toward [ light laughter ] jimmy you should. She remains such an inspiration to me, was getting to become aidens mom. And i took aiden with me on the campaign trail. And so im really grateful to everyone on my moms Remarkable Campaign team who helped organize events so i could kind of, do an event, breastfeed, do an interview, breastfeed, do an event, breastfeed, pump, do an interview, breastfeed. Jimmy okay, i get you, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. [ light laughter ] you know, i mean, there was a lot of logistics, last year, that had to be navigated. And aiden was just an amazing little traveler and im so, so lucky to be his mom. [ audience aws ] jimmy you did a good job. [ applause ] now, scarlet yes. Jimmy is two . Two and a half. Jimmy two and a half, and you did a book reading for your your book, she persisted. And all these kids started coming up to the stage. And she rushed to the stage. Jimmy shes like, thats my mommy. Look and see if you can find where her child is. [ audience aws ] shes like, yeah, im right there, just watching, its like, mommy, why are you reading to all these other kids . [ light laughter ] no, so that was on saturday. And when i was putting her to bed saturday night, she said, hey mommy, can we read she persisted. And i said, oh, my gosh, like do you want to hear it again . And she said, yes, just for me. [ audience aws ] and i was like, aw, shes so sweet. Jimmy tell me about she persisted, because i have two girls at home so i cannot wait to read this story to them. But what inspired you to write this . Well, i think i was not alone, and thats probably an understatement, in being so struck by senator elizabeth warrens efforts to bring Coretta Scott kings words to the senate floor a few months ago. And i think, Coretta Scott kings words are always relevant, anywhere, but particularly in the senate, but she was censured. And Senate Majority leader mitch mcconell, in censuring senator warren said, nevertheless she persisted. And i dont think he had any idea how many women, and some men, would take it as a real badge of honor for senator warren, even more for mrs. King and really just for the women who persist throughout our country every day, and for the women who helped make our country healthier, more equitable, more just, more interesting, more beautiful. And so i was just thinking about like all these women whove inspired me, and i talked to my wonderful editor, at penguin, Jill Santopolo and she was thinking along the same lines. So we decided to work on a a Childrens Book together. And thankfully the extraordinary illustrator Alexandra Moyer could work on it with us and so i just am so excited its now out in the world. Jimmy thats fantastic. I think its a great [ cheers and applause ] its a great book. She persisted. Chelsea clinton, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] thank you, jimmy. Jimmy well be back with a a performance from rae sremmurd, everybody. Chelsea, number one [ cheers and applause ] a Millie Dresselhaus doll happy birthday, sweetie oh, millies. Trick or treat were so glad to have you here. What if we treated great female scientists like they were stars . Yasss queen what if Millie Dresselhaus, the first woman to win the National Medal of science in engineering, were as famous as any celebrity . [Millie Dresselhaus was seen having lunch today. ] [. Rumors of the new discovery. ] what if we lived in a world like that . crowd applauding we know a place thats already working on it. Its not easy to brew a beer this easy to drink. Bud light is tasted by brewmasters every step of the process. Its a tough job, but for you and your friends, its worth it. We dont just brew beer. We brew beer for friends. We dont just brew beer. With motionsense technology. Degree has redefined deodorant so that i can redefine. Power. Footwork. Range. The more i move, the more it works. Degree. It wont let you down. Guys. Im trapped, my boss wants me here. Raz, where are you . We are not leaving without you. Just go downstairs now. Rapunzel . look for my chr. That was fun. Wait till you see where were going. Introducing an allnew crossover. Toyota chr. Toyota. Lets go places. Well youre really gonna hate the new ipad pro because you can do pretty much everything with it, like type. Hate it. Or take notes. Hate it. Or even multitask. Multihate yeah. You can do all the things you hate. Great. Paybecause sometimeskout with any debit makes sense. Pes. And other times credit makes sense. Paypalso when youre readyayment preferto check outance. You wont have to type in those digits. [ eerie music playing ] it takes a monster. She did something to me. To defeat a monster. The essence of evil calls to you now. The mummy. Rated pg13. You got a kitchen thats brand new. And youd like to keep it that way, too. You wanna set out on your own, so you can teach yoga and just say om. Cuz the two of you are about to be three. A little help can go a long way in your life. And nationwide is on your side. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy tonights musical guest is a platinumselling duo from mississippi. And one of thems having a a birthday today. Yay [ cheers ] performing swang off of their album sremmlife 2, with a a little help from the roots, give it up for rae sremmurd. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy fallon one more time sremmlife swang woo rock em side to side lets go know some young like to swang like to swang know some young people like to swang big bank take a little bank hey hey everyday spillin up drank she want the whole crew shawty brave when the money talks what is there to say blow away watch it blow away when i die cant take it to the grave gettin dough aint a thing change coasting grippin grain goin through the money like a phase like a phase dont say my name in im so glad that you came all these bad gettin slain broke get a clue all these know how we do know some young like to swang like to swang know some young people like to swang big bank take a little bank hey everyday spillin up drank she want the whole crew shawty brave when the money talks what is there to say blow away watch it blow away when i die cant take it to the grave i know some young people from the bottom bottom theyll do anything for a dollar i coulda went to school to be a doctor but i dropped out and chose to be a baller switchin lanes spittin game in my new drop still on a paper chase that they dont ever stop everybody with me family you know how we rock party at jimmy fallon we gon to flood the spot know some young like to swang like to swang know some young people like to swang big bank take a little bank hey everyday spillin up drank she want the whole crew shawty brave when the money talks what is there to say blow away watch it blow away when i die cant take it to the grave [ cheers and applause ] thank you all so much [ cheers and applause ] jimmy rae sremmurd, everybody sremmlife 2 is available now. Well be right back everybody. Rae sremmurd. [ cheers and applause ] what you have released is unlike anything weve ever faced. The ultimate evil. [ sinister laugh ] [ dramatic music ] [ screams ] the mummy. Rated pg13. Itmiss hoffman gets usle to mathere safe every time. Mrs. Migliaccio teaches us all about fractions and haikus and the erie canal miss reeves makes us sound amazing. And miss santoro always takes time to see how were doing. Miss simpkins keeps our school looking great. Recess wouldnt be recess without miss basile. And mrs. Mccarthy always has tons of good books to read. Which makes for a pretty good day at school. From the time i was pregnant with him, had so much life and energy in him. He wanted out, and he wanted to conquer the world. Right now, quintons goal is to be a doctor. Its not easy being a single parent with three kids and having to provide for them. But my son will be an amazing doctor, and hell help people that are less fortunate. No matter where you are in your college journey, sallie mae can help you find the money you need. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy my thanks to Norm Macdonald, Chelsea Clinton, robert irwin, rae sremmurd everybody, right there. Rae sremmurd. [ cheers and applause ] and the roots from philadelphia, pennsylvania [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for late night with seth meyers. Thank you for watching. I hope we see you tomorrow. Byebye, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] announcer from 30 Rockefeller Plaza in new york, its late night with seth meyers. Tonight alan alda, from fargo, actress Mary Elizabeth winstead, comedy duo desus mero, featuring the 8g band with jared champion. [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. Seth good evening. Im seth meyers. This is late night. How is everybody doing tonight . [ cheers and applause ] hey, thats wonderful to hear. In that case, what do you say we get to the news . Happy birthday to Vice President mike pence who turned 58 today. He made a wish and blew out the candles and tomorrow well find out if james comey can make his wish come true. [ laughter ]
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