Roots crew. Questlove 447, champaign steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thank you very much hi welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome right now. Welcome, everyone, to the tonight show. This is it. This is the show. Youre here. [ cheers and applause ] you make the show. Thank you for being here. Thank you for watching. Guys, tomorrow, of course, is the wisconsin president ial primary. Which could actually be pivotal for the republican race for president. While milwaukee has already played a major role by making all the beer thats helped us through it. [ cheers and applause ] this is crazy. Over the weekend, donald trump told the Washington Post that hell be able to get the United States completely out of debt in eight years. [ light laughter ] when asked how, trump was like, easy, declare bankruptcy and start fresh. [ laughter and applause ] its fantastic. Ive done it already. Its amazing. And Hillary Clinton said on meet the press yesterday that the fbi has not reached out to schedule an interview with her regarding her private email server. When asked how shed respond to such a request, hillary said, oh, id delete it. [ laughter and applause ] i would delete the hell out of it, yeah. Did you see this . A video is making its rounds on the internet of Hillary Clinton losing her temper when confronted by an environmental activist about taking money from the fossil fuel industry. Hillary said, the only fossil im worried about is the one from vermont that im running against. [ laughter ] [ applause ] last week, we mentioned that jeb bush is returning to the speaking circuit after his failed run for the republican nomination. People say hes over the election, but going by the titles of some of his speeches, you can tell its still on his mind. Check this out. First theres the campaign bus bathroom where no one can hear you cry. [ laughter and applause ] then theres learning to pronounce guacamole like youre not tony montana in scarface. [ laughter ] wuacamolay. Steve wuac. Jimmy wuacamolay. [ laughter ] and finally theres the kids table where you sit when two people in your family did win the presidency. [ laughter and applause ] steve oh. Jimmy you know, it just seemed wrong. It seems like hes not over it. Steve i dont know if hell jimmy get this, i heard that duck dynasty star Willy Robertson just joined the Fox News Channel as a a contributor. And [ laughter ] well, i think cnn heard about it, and theyre trying a little too hard to compete. Because take a look at this. Cnns dana bash has the latest on all that. [ laughter ] she joins us now. Quack. [ applause ] jimmy see what im saying . Just seems theyre trying too hard. You can tell theyre trying too hard. Steve theyre trying too hard. Jimmy yeah. Uh youre watching cnn. [ quack ] [ laughter ] some international news, north korea officially announced it is blocking facebook. So it looks like someone forgot to write happy birthday on kim jonguns wall. [ laughter ] im banning this actually, north korea is blocking facebook, youtube, and twitter. So youre safe for now, snapchat. Because he [ laughter and applause ] and this is pretty crazy here. Apparently thousands of jellyfish completely covered a a beach in south florida over the weekend. Then authorities were like, no, wait, its just a nude beach for the elderly. Sorry, i [ laughter ] jellyfish. Our bad. Our bad. Of course, the people versus o. J. Simpson is huge right now. And while everyone remembers the white bronco chase, it might finally have some competition. Yesterday, in san francisco, a a chihuahua got on the loose and they actually had to shut down the highway to catch it. This is real. Look at this footage. Jimmy there it is, yeah. [ laughter ] yeah. Yeah, nothing gets a tiny dog to calm down like cars with flashing lights and motorcycles chasing it over a bridge. [ applause ] crazy thing is the chihuahua was also wanted for murder. Steve really . Jimmy yeah. [ laughter ] steve wow. Jimmy awful story. Awful story. And finally, this is pretty cool. Amazon founder, jeff bezos, successfully tested a rocket for his space Flight Company blue origin over the weekend. But did you see what the rocket looked like . Anyone see this . Take a look at this. [ laughter ] jimmy its the only rocket that needs a little blue pill before liftoff. [ applause ] when jeff bezos heard the comparison, he said, yeah, im sending the next one to uranus. [ laughter ] we have a great show, you guys. Give it up for the roots right there. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy hi, everybody it is monday. Were so excited to be back. We have a big week of shows. But first, we have a fantastic show tonight. Its always fun when she stops by. From the new movie the boss, the hilarious Melissa Mccarthy is here. Steve yeah [ cheers and applause ] jimmy there she is. Steve a delight. Jimmy shes the coolest. So funny. Im going to face off with melissa in a lip sync battle tonight in the show. [ cheers and applause ] im nervous. Plus, he stars in the new hbo series vinyl, Bobby Cannavale is here. Steve yeah [ cheers and applause ] jimmy Bobby Cannavale and then we have great music. Let me tell you the story about this. I was on vacation with my wife and babies, we were in jamaica. Yeah, mon. [ cheers ] so were at this resort, golden eye, this is chris blackwell, Island Records his place. So chill and cool and fun. Were hanging out there. And i see this girl was hanging out with a bunch of friends. And they go, do you want me to take a picture of your family . cause im always taking the pictures. Im never in any of them. [ light laughter ] they all take im the one who has the phone with the camera on it. So im like im always taking them. She goes so i said sure. She was super nice. Then we started talking. She said, yeah, im in a a band. I go, oh, thats cool. And shes like, yeah, im here im deejaying this week with my brother. I go, cool. So i see them deejay. And fantastic, great reggae music. Just ska, fun, it was just really fun. The next day were having dinner new years. And its a tiny resort, so i see you see each other again. So i said, hey, you guys did a a great job. Thanks. Oh, Queen Latifah was there, too. Forgot to mention. [ light laughter ] we travel together. Yeah, yeah. [ laughter ] steve its for the taxi sequel. Jimmy thats my wife. Yeah, thats my wife. So were hanging out and everyone is eating dinner and so they have this local band come in. Theyre playing its theyre fantastic. Theyre playing covers and new songs and all this stuff. So were looking at the band, they wave hi to me and i they go, do you want to do you want to get up . I go, sure. So i get up and start singing reggae. You know. I dont know what im doing. So im like nobody move nobody get hurt nobody move nobody get hurt you know, im just yelling. I dont know what im doing. So [ laughter ] people are trying to eat dinner. Yeah, people are trying to eat dinner. So anyways, i see this girl, natalie, and i look at this girl and i go, do you want to get up and sing something . Shes like, oh, i dont know. I go, what . Youre in a band. So i go, what do you want to sing . Shes like, oh, i dont know i do you know waiting in vain . You know, bob marley . I dont want to wait she starts singing. Its unbelievable. Her voice people were coming out of like going, what just happened . It was like her voice knockout. Like, not even fooling around. Blew the roof off the place. I was like, what band are you in . This the band right here, wild belle. Steve yeah [ cheers and applause ] jimmy theyre here. Theyre fantastic anyway, youre gonna be its shes fantastic. Guys, as you know, a lot of celebrities are on facebook. And sometimes they even leave comments on each others posts. So we thought wed take yeah. Hear that . Hear that . Theyre that normal. [ light laughter ] so tonight we take a i thought wed take a look at some of them in a new segment called tonight show Facebook Comments. Here we go. [ cheers and applause ] tonight show Facebook Comments jimmy lets take a look at this first example. Its a post from bill clinton. Steve oh. Jimmy he posted, i just watched my grandchilds first steps. Aw. Steve aw. Jimmy lets see some of the comments. Prince charles commented. He said, mine started school today. [ laughter ] Martha Stewart commented, mine got accepted into college. And finally, Bernie Sanders commented, mine received his first Social Security check. [ laughter ] steve wow. [ applause ] jimmy thats a big milestone. Steve big milestone. 65. Jimmy made me cry. Steve yeah. Jimmy makes me tear up a a little bit. [ light laughter ] steve sweet. Jimmy thats my grandkid. Steve sweet, yeah. So sweet. Jimmy heres one from donald trump. He said, my home at maralago is beautiful. Lets see some of the comments. John kasich commented, i prefer ohio. [ laughter ] ted cruz commented, youre not in touch with everyday americans. Chris christie commented, can you turn the invisible dog fence off, so i can go see my family . [ laughter and applause ] steve wow. Thats what he had . Hes trapped . Jimmy hes trapped. Steve its like a prison. Jimmy i hope he gets home. Next one is from apple ceo tim cook. Steve oh. Jimmy he posted a picture of the new iphone with the caption, these four inches are going to make us millions. [ laughter ] stop. Dont be ahead of the steve come on. Jimmy dont be ahead of the joke. Steve yeah, come on. Jimmy thats what he steve thats what he posted. Tim cook said that. You didnt say that. Jimmy yeah. Steve wozniak said, nice. [ laughter ] Mark Zuckerberg said, awesome. And hulk hogan said, join the club. Steve wow. [ laughter ] jimmy i think theyre talking about [ applause ] theyre talking about two different steve theyre talking about iphones. Jimmy maybe he makes phones, i dont know. Steve i dont know. Heres a post right here from panera bread. Steve oh, good. [ light laughter ] love panera. Jimmy i follow them. Steve yeah, you follow them all the time. Jimmy on every social media steve every social media outlet they have. Jimmy its fantastic. Steve ive seen you just sit and park your car and watch panera bread. [ laughter ] jimmy well, they posted they said, we throw out our unfresh bread every night. Lets see some of the comments. Subway responded, its always better to eat fresh. I guess. Papa johns commented, customers will appreciate the quality of your food. And olive garden commented, where do you usually dispose of it . Asking for a friend. [ laughter ] steve wow. [ applause ] jimmy Unlimited Unlimited breadsticks. Steve any jimmy unlimited. Steve a million . You got it. Jimmy yeah. You can eat there four days if you want to. Steve yeah. Sit here. Jimmy unlimited. Steve if you go to the bathroom, though, youre done. Jimmy deals off, man, yeah. Unless you do it while youre eating. [ light laughter ] heres one from president obama. He posted a picture of his family on easter last week, with the easter bunny, with the caption, the whole family was together this easter. Hillary clinton commented, beautiful. Harry reid commented, i second that. And joe biden commented, holy crap, youre related to the easter bunny . [ laughter and applause ] no, the familys on this side. Steve dont even. Jimmy why shatter his dream . Steve yeah. Hes got [ laughter ] jimmy heres the last one here, its from cuba gooding, jr. Steve oh. Jimmy love him. He wrote, do you think o. J. Really did it . John travolta commented, its a complex case, but the evidence seems convincing. David schwimmer commented, i honestly dont know. O. J. Simpson commented, 100 yes. Steve wow. [ laughter and applause ] jimmy thats all the time we have for tonight show Facebook Comments. Well be right back with Melissa Mccarthy [ cheers and applause ] starbucks® cold brew coffee. Available in original black. And now with housemade vanilla sweet cream. Smooth meets sweet. In stores now. Only at starbucks. Whats yours . Illion ways to top your kids rice krispies. A dash of fruit in their favorite colo. A bunch of pineapple cause hey its summe bananas and berries cause the letter b rock. A little bit of yogurt . Sure why not . The fun never stops how many ways can you snap, crackle, pop . If youve ever been lured in straight talk. By a low price wireless plan then theres not enough highspeed data or your bill is packed with overages and mystery fees. Stop falling for it with straight talks unlimited plan, you get americas largest, most dependable 4g lte networks. 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We love you. Feeling the love . I could just run out now. It will never get this good again [ laughter ] jimmy no, you want the talk about everything. We got to talk about the boss. This is it, this friday. This is a funny, funny, funny movie. But you wrote this movie and produced it as well. I did, i did. I wrote it with my lovely husband ben. Jimmy gosh, hes a funny human being, by the way. Hes a good guy. Im going to keep him. Jimmy good, good, good. Im so happy. I said if he dates, i come with him. [ laughter ] thats so it wont be weird for another woman. Jimmy you guys wrote it together . Ben and i wrote it with our best friend Steve Mallory who plays carl in the movie with the beard who i may or may not in character say horrible things about his deceased wife. [ laughter ] as you do. Jimmy as one does. As one does, yeah. Dont get judgy. Jimmy michelle darnell, thats the greatest name i ever heard. Thats the character name. Yes. And i dont know this second i thought of her, i came up with michelle 16 years ago at the groundlings theater. Jimmy is that right . And literally i was like her name is michelle darnell, she wears turtle neck french tipped nails, statement jewelry. Like it was really weird. Every single thing i was like shell jimmy its almost like this past life you were this person. I hope so. [ light laughter ] i have a little Leona Helmsley in there. Jimmy oh. Yeah, i remember coming out the first time for previews dressed like her and somebody was like, what is with the turtleneck up to your jaw bone . Im like she always wears it like that. [ laughter ] which, of course, someone said, shes not real. Jimmy you made up this character, yeah. By the way, shes not real, crazy. Jimmy yeah. I love the turtleneck look. Its a good look. Ill tell you this, i think everyone should adopt a a turtleneck. It makes you confident. Jimmy sure. It makes you powerful. Jimmy yes. And i dont think that its certainly not just for ladies, and i can prove it. I can prove it. Come on, guys. [ applause ] jimmy you got me a a turtleneck. Its like a turtleneck plus. Im going to put it in my clothing line. Jimmy really . Its a turtle tie, guys. Its a turtle tie. [ cheers ] its a turtle tie dickey. Jimmy its a turtle tie dickey. Its got easy velcro closure jimmy turtle tie dickey is the name of my band in college. That was my prison name. [ laughter ] jimmy my prison name. This is great. Could you put it on . Its fantastic. Jimmy turtle tie dickey was your prison name. Guys, this is just making sense. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy this is not bad, i feel good. I mean [ laughter ] ooh jimmy hi, im turtle tie dickey. How are you doing . All of a sudden im like ben who . [ laughter ] jimmy yeah, man. I tell you, a turtleneck. Jimmy i can pull it off. And a suit, yes, i say yes to it. Jimmy turtleneck tie suit. Its just unbelievable and its subtle. Turtle tie dickey. Jimmy its subtle, its almost like im not wearing a a turtleneck. Thats how much im pulling it off. Is he floating on air . [ laughter ] is that a piece of heaven . Jimmy is he a hologram . Thats how much i dont believe how awesome that dude is, yeah. Thank you for this, i appreciate it. Im going to wear this for the rest of the thing. I really, really love that idea. I dont know what that says. Jimmy lets talk about the boss. This weekend you got to go check it out. This friday, im so excited. Jimmy the idea is youre a a tycoon that kind of loses it. Shes the 47th wealthiest woman in the world. [ light laughter ] she does everything. Shes a little tony robbins, a a little Leona Helmsley. Like i said she does seminars and every product she touches i feel turns to gold. And theres a little problem with White Collar Crime and insider trading. I go down for it. I assume im going to get everything back . Because i know those people are always like, ill get it back. It will be fine. She does not so i have to move in with my assistant played by the delightful kristin bell. Jimmy shes fantastic, kristin bell. [ cheers and applause ] shes a dreamboat. Jimmy shes really, really funny too. She really is. Shes a dreamboat. Jimmy and Peter Dinklage i should say to game of thrones fans, Peter Dinklage is in the film. [ cheers ] Peter Dinklage is in this. First of all, on the way here, i swear to god, on the way here, Peter Dinklage is walking in front of our car. And im like, oh, my god, pete, pete i went like crazy. Thats kind of how i felt every day when i work with him. Jimmy isnt it weird when you see someone on the street you go i lai