Reality winner leaked information about a reality denier who tried to influence the election to support a reality host who is detached from reality. [ light laughter ] so now the winner is the loser and this loser who helped this loser win is the winner and thats our reality. [ laughter and applause ] pretty simple. Education secretary betsy devos said that while schools receiving federal funds must abide by federal civil rights laws, the department will not enter decrees on things like lgbt discrimination. Coincidentally, lgbt is also how betsy devos thinks you spell discrimination. [ light laughter ] according to reports, four top law firms have turned down requests from the white house to represent President Trump during the russia investigation. Man, how guilty do have you to be when a lawyer wont even take your case . [ laughter and applause ] bill cosby has a lawyer. O. J. Had like five of them. At this rate the president is going to have to rely on the law firm of stumpy and lurch. [ laughter ] objection, your honor, erics touching me [ laughter ] a bar in washington, d. C. Has announced that it will open early in the morning on thursday, for people to watch former fbi director james comey testify before the Senate Intelligence committee. Though the move could upset some of the bars regulars. [ laughter ] i come here to forget. [ light laughter ] passengers on a new york subway train were trapped last night for nearly an hour without lights or airconditioning after it lost power on the track. The passengers are okay, but the mariachi band was beaten to death. [ laughter ] thats right, passengers on a subway train were trapped for an hour without lights and airconditioning. One man said it was so uncomfortable, he could barely masturbate. [ laughter ] [ audience oohs ] and finally, today was atheist pride day. Thank god its finally over. [ laughter and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a great show for you tonight. She is starring in lifetimes menendez blood brothers. Courtney love is on the show tonight very excited to talk to her. [ cheers and applause ] he is a very funny comedian and actor. Hes in a great new film, beatriz at dinner. John early joins us tonight. [ cheers and applause ] and very honored and thrilled to be cooking with renowned sushi chef, chef Masa Takayama will be here this evening as well. [ cheers and applause ] you know, you guys, im in my 40s now. Im married, i have a kid and nothing, nothing makes me feel older than when i do not understand the new slang terms that teenagers are using. And it seems like these days teen slang terms are evolving so fast that it is impossible to keep up. So as a service to you, and as a service to me, we decided to give you a little primer on new teen slang terms in a segment we call, seth explains teen slang. [ cheers and applause ] seth our first new slang term the teens are using is highkea. Lets see what it means. Its when are you so high it takes an hourandahalf to put a sandwich together. [ laughter ] here it is in a sentence. Got so highkea on friday that it took us 90 minutes to make a Peanut Butter and jelly sandwich or as jeff called it a flergenblerg. [ laughter ] our next new teen slang term is fathers day present. Lets see what it means. Its something you put a minimal amount of effort into. [ laughter ] here it is in a sentence. I only spent an hour writing my term paper. Its a total fathers day present. Happy fathers day, mrs. Monroe. [ laughter ] next is riohno. This is a phrase for when your mom messes up the words to a rihanna song. [ laughter ] for example, just heard my mom in the kitchen singing we found gloves in a popeless place. riohno. [ light laughter ] next we have study afraud. Lets see what it means. Its someone who claims they missed a semester to study abroad, but clearly just did a stint in rehab. [ laughter ] here it is in a sentence. Jessica says she was in spain, but girl dont speak spanish and shes always trying to make amends with me. Studyafraud. Moving on, we have leprom james. This is the guy at a High School Dance who looks way too old to be there. [ laughter ] for example, melissa said her prom date goes to another school, but im pretty sure that leprom james was in a frat with my dad. [ laughter ] up next, you guys might know about the romphim, the romper designed for men. Heres a photo of it. There you go. [ scattered cheers ] well the romphim really . Okay. [ laughter ] theres something im even farther afield of teens on. Well, this has inspired a brand new teen slang term. Its romphimpotent. And this in an adjective used to describe when your romphim is so tight it has rendered you impotent. [ laughter ] for example, tried to be trendy with my extra small romphim. Now ill never have kids. Romphimpotent. [ laughter ] next up, this is a good one. Its daniel day jewish. And its really, this ones really taking off with teens. This is someone who acts like theyre jewish to date the hot orthodox girl in class. [ light laughter ] for example, paul is christian, but ever since he met batshiva hes been wearing a yarmulke and talking about how much he is schvitzing. [ laughter ] boys gone full daniel day jewish. Oymyleftfoot. [ laughter and applause ] oy now this next teen slang term is incredibly specific, but i think you will find it incredibly useful as you go about your daily life. It involves both the National Honor society and the illfated 1840s covered wagon expedition, the donner party. Its national donner society. This is when the Honor Society gets lost on a field trip and is forced to resort to cannibalism. [ laughter ] you can already see how youre gonna use it. Here it is in a sentence. What was supposed to be a twoday camping trip in the poconos turned into a threemonth long ordeal where we had to make some hard choices. Long story short, we ate eric. Nationaldonnersociety. Tasteslikechicken. [ laughter and applause ] youll find the need to use it. Our last teen slang term is chubstitute. Lets see what it means. Its a substitute teacher who gives you an erection. [ laughter ] [ audience oohs ] youll need it [ laughter ] for example, did you see the chubstitute in science class . She asked me to go up to the chalkboard and i had to bring my desk with me. [ laughter and applause ] you guys, that was seth explains teen slang. Well be right back with more late night. [ cheers and applause ] officials are reporting, this new doritos mix is responsible for the worldwide bold outbreak. Woo hoo over you to you tom things have gone totally around the bend. Cmmon boys rarin to go because of new doritos mix, there is boldness everywhere. 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Its not cool to ask that. Thanks, captain obvious. Online dating isnt always rewarding. But hotels. Com is. Instant savings now, free nights later. Hotels. Com. Americas favorite cookie delicious european Chocolate Candy introducing oreo Chocolate Candy bars look for them wherever you buy Chocolate Candy. [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back, everybody the movie wonder woman had a huge opening at the box office this weekend. It became the first femaleled superhero blockbuster ever. But people have differing opinions about the praise the film has received. To make sure you get to see the issues from both sides, weve invited two of our writers with contrasting points of view. Well examine their opinions in a segment we call point, counterpoint. [ cheers and applause ] seth ally and amber, thank you for being here to discuss this film. First question wonder woman grossed over 100 million this weekend. Is this a definitive triumph for women in film, ally . It absolutely is. But lets not pat ourselves on the backs just because hollywood made one blockbuster movie with a female protagonist. Women only account for 32 of all speaking roles in movies. A real triumph would be to be bringing that ratio to halfandhalf. Seth halfandhalf. Amber . Half and half is delicious. [ light laughter ] have you ever had it . Its like if milk and ice cream had a very yummy baby. You can just put half and half in your coffee or you can just put sprinkles in it and drink it straight and have a party in your mouth. [ light laughter ] wait, what . Seth moving on wonder woman is the First Successful superhero movie directed by a woman. Do you think this will encourage studios to put more women behind the camera, ally . I certainly hope so. Right now only 7 of hollywood directors are women. But i will say the true Glass Ceiling will be broken when studios give females directors big budgets, even after they have a box office flop. Just like they do with male directors. There is still a lot of work to be done to achieve equality in our nations film canon. Seth strong words. Amber . I think cannons a great. [ light laughter ] especially when theyre filled with confetti one time, i jumped out from behind my grandmas couch and shot off the confetti cannon and the whole room filled with tiny sparkles and she fainted. [ laughter ] and when she came to, she whispered, that was fun. [ light laughter ] seth your grandma sounds like a great lady. She is. Hey, nana seth, shes talking about confetti when the topic is wonder woman. These are things i wonder as a woman. [ light laughter ] you know what else i wonder, can i do a daryl hall impression . Youre a rich girl and youre going too far but you know it dont matter anyway i can seth you can. I thought he was right here, that was amazing. [ light laughter ] next up also breaking records this year, the movie get out, which had a black lead and a black director. Could this lead to more films for underserved audience, ally . Seth, every time a demographic that isnt white male and 1824 comes out to support something, Corporate America is shocked. Why . We have jobs, we make money, and we spend that money. The fact that minorities are a powerful Economic Force shouldnt be a surprise. Seth well said. Amber . You know whats a surprise . This [ bang ] [ scream ] oh, my god. [ laughter ] amber [ laughter and applause ] seth now [ laughter ] just real quick, lets step out of the scene for a minute and talk talk about how long we rehearsed this today. [ laughter ] i shot exactly [ laughter ] seth you two were backstage saying, oh, its so easy, its just a button. [ laughter ] i just accidentally shot it right every other time. [ laughter ] oh seth all right. [ light laughter ] the point is, amber shooting herself with a confetti cannon is off topic. It has nothing to do with what we are talking about. Seth ally, this isnt pointpoint. Its point, counterpoint, okay, ally . You get a point and then amber gets a point thats how it works, ally. Fine did we get it all . Yes. You look beautiful. Thanks seth and finally what [ light laughter ] wonder woman has been a big hit with critics. But why do you think its resonating with audiences . You know you know what, seth, i have an answer for that, but i wont waste my time because im sure amber has something ridiculous to say or do, dont you . Actually, i dont. I saw wonder woman this weekend and when i saw it, i cried. It resonated with me, because i was so moved by seeing a strong powerful woman represented on screen. [ light laughter ] its impossible to put into words [ light laughter ] what that movie meant to women or how much that movie can change the lives of young girls. Wow, amber, that [ light laughter ] that was beautiful. Beautifully delivered. [ light laughter ] seth that was that was totally beautiful. [ laughter ] that was so much more beautiful than anything ally has said or done. Okay. Okay. I think whats equally important is [ bang ] [ scream ] [ laughter and applause ] seth yay [ light laughter ] amber, stop doing that, thats rude. Youre right. Where are my manners . Oh, thank you. [ bang ] seth all right. [ cheers and applause ] yeah that was fun. Seth this has been point, counterpoint. Well be right back with Courtney Love. [ cheers and applause ] with unitedhealthcare, you can get rewarded for all kinds of things. Like walking. Hey, honey. Dad, wheres the car . Thought wed walk. Hes counting steps. Walk, move and earn money. Goal dad. Hey, we wanna welcome everyone to the father daughter dance. Look at this dad, hes got some moves money you can use on outofpocket medical expenses. Hes ok, yeah unitedhealthcare t my license cheering woo going on my first targetrun. Need anything . Laundry detergent toothpaste ill get my purse. Ok, nana. 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Its just that your friend daryl here is supposed to be Live Streaming the wedding and hes not getting any service. I missed, like, the whole thing. What . And i just got an unlimited plan. Its the right plan, wrong network. You see, verizon has the largest, most reliable 4g lte network in america. Its built to work better in cities. Tell you what, just use mine. Thanks. No problem. All right, lets go live. Say hi to everybody who wasnt invited vo when it really, really matters, you need the best network and the best unlimited. Plus, get our best smartphones for just 15 a month. Today, we spend a whole lot of time like this. So at citizens bank, weve created banking tools that fit how youre living today. From advanced atms. To online banking. To our Award Winning mobile app. And if you prefer facetoface, we have that too. Ask me, terry goggans, how our balance of technology and people can help you. [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back. Give it up for the 8g band. Theyre right over there, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] also back with us tonight, the drummer from the grammy awardwinning band, cage the elephant. Theyre going to play bonnaroo music and Arts Festival this weekend before kicking off their headlining european tour. Jared champion is here, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] thank you for being here, jared. Our first guest tonight is a golden globenominated actress and talented musician. You can see her next in the true crime film menendez blood brothers, which premiers this sunday on lifetime. Lets take a look. I cant do that to lyle. Your brother takes care of himself. Hes always been that way. Hes like your father. They always have a solution, a plan. Thats not true. Lyle took care of me. He saved me. Youre too loyal. Dont make the same mistakes i made. Seth please welcome to the show Courtney Love, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome to the show. Thank you for having me. Seth its wonderful to have you here. Now, congrats on this film thank you. Seth you play Kitty Menendez. Yes. Seth these murders happen in 1989. Was this a story that you were aware of back then . Were you following it sort of every day . Well, when when it was on like court tv and stuff, it was like 90, 91, 92, i was in seattle. I was kind of seth doing doing different stuff . Doing different stuff seth yeah. [ light laughter ] i was in my own little, you know, world. Seth yeah. But i i researched it really heavily and seth gotcha. And so you and what did you youve played real people before. Did you find the research was very helpful in playing Kitty Menendez . No, because there is not a lot on her. Seth right. Theres like three pictures and like one little video clip so seth okay, yeah. Sort of made it up. Seth so you researched pretty quickly . You were like, ill just knock this out in the morning over my coffee. Yeah. Over my coffee. Seth yeah. Yeah. Seth do you like do you like your life as an actress. Yeah, i do. Its very its its much more mildmannered than the rockstar thing. Seth yeah. Its its its its smooth chilling. Seth yeah. Do you look at your career as both a musician and an actor as different stages, or do you see it as all blending together . Kind of, i mean one, you can go on howard stern and give Marilyn Manson as much crap as you want. And youre not going to get any consequences for it. Seth yeah. But in movies, you have to be polite about everybody. Seth yeah. Plus, they give you lines ahead of time and then those are the ones you have to say. I do have to learn the lines and, yeah. Seth well, thats good. And then youre everybody is really much its nice. Its like having you know, when you do a movie, its like having a little bands. Seth uhhuh. And then you leave and you do another movie and you have another little band. Seth right. When you have a band, its like a 30 year marriage. Seth right, thats true. So so seth basically, having a band is a marriage and movies are affairs . Yes seth yeah. [ light laughter ] yes seth thats true, yeah. And youre also, you i know youre still doing music. You wrote written some new songs . Yeah. Seth but you have a book that youre that you have to finish. I want to reach the millennials. Seth oh, really . Me too, man. They have all the me too. Seth yeah. Right . [ light laughter ] seth they got the they got the cash to the future. They have all the money. Seth yeah, absolutely. And the likes and the seth and so, youre trying to reach them with music . Or no, im going to write a book. Seth you think books are the way to millennials . [ laughter ] i know i know how ill get em. A book. A book, with lots of pictures. [ light laughter ] seth thats good. So, is it a book about are you writing a memoir . Is that sort of im going to write a memoir, but i have a lot of secrets i have to keep. Seth oh, okay. Well this doesnt sound like a fun memoir. No, it is fun, because my wikipedia a lot of things leaked. Seth oh, so so, if its in my wikipedia, its fair game. Seth oh, so you wont be the first person to leak information, but if someone else has already leaked it, youll put it in your book . Probably. Seth yeah. [ laughter ] that seems fair, but then i you knew you know, you could go on wikipedia yourself. You could leak it. Im not that good. Seth really . Yeah. Seth you know what you need . What . Seth a millennial. [ laughter ] theyll know how to get in there and everything. And do you but like so how far in the process are you writing the book . Im on my second writer, ghost writer. Seth oh, thats not good. No. Seth i thought you were going to say chapter. No. [ laughter ] the first one was too tellall. Seth oh, so you didnt like that they wanted you to give up too much. Too much. Seth yeah, okay. In a kind of sleezy way and i just like lets make it tasteful. Look, patti smith did a really tasteful one seth yeah. Bob dylan did a really tasteful one. Seth got it. Keith richards did owned his owned his stuff, but did a really tasteful one. So, i want a cowriter. I dont want to write it myself. Seth okay. And i want somebody to make it, you know, funny and true. Seth and and what is the process when you have a cowriter . Do you just sort of does it start with them sitting down and asking you questions, or does it start with you just saying, im just going to start telling you things. Im going to my im going to print out my wikipedia. [ light laughter ] seth okay, gotcha. So then you dont really have to be involved in this at all. You could just say like, why dont you go on wikipedia, write a first draft then send it over. [ light laughter ] is there music you listen to now . Are there people of the younger generation, the millennial world . Yeah, i toured with lana del rey seth oh, great. About a year and a half ago. And i was like, this is so chill, im going to go on my bus and watch mad men reruns. But then i start then i started listening to her after we toured and we became really good friends. And i got obsessed with her, i really like her music a lot. Seth thats great. And i listen to a lot of pop. I listen to what youd think. Ive listened to a lot of the kills and like jack white and the Avett Brothers seth gotcha. And alternative music and stuff like that. Seth and when you write music now, is it as natural as it always was . Does the process change for you . Well, the process is still the same, there still has to be a rock element to it. But there has to be beats now. You have to get into like beats. Seth beats is very big with the younger generation, yeah. Beats is big with the seth yeah. Its not like im going edm. Seth if there are not beats, theyre out the door. Yeah. Yeah. Seth yeah. But you have to have a little bit of beats. Seth where do you get yours beats . Do you get a producer and say like, bring us some beats . I dont know yet. Seth oh, you dont have the beats yet . I dont have the beats yet. Seth youve gotta get the beats. [ light laughter ] youve gotta find the beats, google it. I know. Seth yeah, you can find it. I know. Seth and now, i you are not the only Courtney Love. And you have found out that there is another Courtney Love. Yeah, its wild. Seth and so this was on twitter that you noticed. Youve saw how did you find this story . Because now you have to admit, because i i know how you found the story and i want you im going to bust you and make you tell. I i google myself once in a while. Seth okay, good. [ light laughter ] and i kept seeing that there was this linebacker named Courtney Love. Seth uhhuh. I thought he was british, because it kept saying u. K. Seth oh, right, but it was university of kentucky. Hes from the university of kentucky. [ light laughter ] seth yeah. Hes about 62. Hes 22 years old. Seth okay. Hes africanamerican. Seth yep. And his name is Courtney Love. Seth his name is Courtney Love. And you he won an award and you you tweeted there, im so honored by this. Ive trained so hard. [ laughter and applause ] and and have you have you made contact with the other Courtney Love . Yeah, we dmd. Im like, how the hell at 22 did you get your name . And he said, im asked about this every day. Seth really . Yeah, you wouldnt think, right . So he his great grandfather was named courtland love. Seth uhhuh. And then his sister is named like caray. His brother its like the c name seth gotcha, it was alliterative and they got to courtney. Yeah, he got into courtney and then they and hes a linebacker. Seth thats and hes really good. Seth hes really good. And thats great. And are you going to make do you think youll ever try to go see him play . Well, now the university of kentucky has invited me to a university of kentucky football show. Seth yeah, show, thats right. [ laughter ] yeah. [ guitar mimicking ] try to try to get there for rehearsals. [ light laughter ] for yeah, sound check. Seth yeah. Ill get there for sound check. Seth well, thats great. I so hope that the Courtney Love summit is something that we can all hear about. Yeah, enjoy. Seth youll have to come back and tell me here first. And ill put it on wikipedia, then you can put it in your book. Hows that sound . Okay, thatd be great. Seth thank you so much for being here. Thanks for having me. Seth lovely talking to you. [ cheers and applause ] Courtney Love, everybody menendez blood brothers premieres this sunday on lifetime. Well be right back with john early. [ cheers and applause ] sometimes, you feel the need to take. A smellfie. Hanes wants to end the smellfie. Those quick selfsniffs. To check the ol smell levels. But this thing weve all done doesnt need to be a thing. Theres a smart way to stay fresh. Hanes with freshiq advanced odorprotection technology. Get your free trial pack at hanes. Com. Classic hersheys; plus cookie bits; plus caramel. 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Plus everyone gets kohls cash earn it on everything spend it on anything get the gifts dad really wants thursday through sunday at kohls. One laugh, and hello so i tried always discreet. I didnt think protection this thin could work. But the super absorbent core turns liquid to gel. Snap so its out of sight. And out of mind. Always discreet. For bladder leaks. [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back, everybody. Our next guest is a very funny actor and comedian who stars in search party on tbs and the characters on netflix. You can see him in the new film beatriz at dinner, which opens in new york and l. A. Friday and nationwide june 16th. Please welcome to the show, the very funny john early, everybody. [ cheer and applause ] seth welcome john. Thank you. Seth congrats on this film. This is a fantastic cast. Yes. Seth this is a salma hayek film. Yes. Seth john lithgow is in the film. Connie britton. Seth connie britton. Chloe sevigny, jay duplass. Seth you are in the film as well. Is it is it okay to say that i mean, again, no shame in it, with that incredible cast, is it safe to say you maybe have a smaller part in this movie . No. Seth no. [ light laughter ] no. Seth okay. [ laughter ] because ive seen the film and i dont feel like im being unfair to say that you maybe have a smaller part. [ laughter ] okay. Well, sorry. Sorry. Im just i feel like im being attacked. [ laughter ] seth oh, no. Im so sorry. I dont mean to, i mean, do you want to should we look at some of it . Do you think well, yeah, i brought a clip. I play evan, hes the caterer. It all takes place in one night at dinner at a dinner party. And evan, i would argue, is kind of like the glue of the film. [ light laughter ] seth okay. Because hes kind of always there, you know, with an entre with wine. Seth i see. We see we end up kind of seeing the movie through his eyes. [ light laughter ] seth oh, okay. Yeah. So yeah, lets seth well lets take look at a scene well lets take a look at a clip. Seth of the glue. Lets look at it. Hi. Hi. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] thank you. Seth you were thank you. Seth you were fantastic. Dont get me wrong, you were fantastic in that scene. Thank you. Thank you, yeah. I remember when we shot that. She said the hi. I was cutting i was cutting the lemons, i look up, hi. Seth yeah. Yeah. [ laughter ] seth thats not thats not the only scene like that. No, im in lots of other scenes. Seth yes. Did you bring anything else . I have, actually two more clips. [ light laughter ] seth are these more substantial in any way, shape, or form . Yes. This next i love actually. I think youll love this. Its its when we kind of are introduced to the women of the film. Amazing, amazing actresses in this movie. And youll see what i do. Seth okay. Lets take a look. Do you wanna those are my favorite. Oh, i know. Thank you. Thank you, evan. Thank you. [ laughter and applause ] seth that was you . Yeah. Seth that was you in the wide . Yeah. Seth you were that guy right youll know that should we go back . Seth i dont, no we dont need to go back . Do you wanna those are my favorite. Thank you. Thank you, evan. And then it seth yeah, there you go. Okay. [ cheers and applause ] and i remember thank you, thank you. And i remember it being weirdly so cold that day. Seth oh, wow. Okay. Yeah. And so we were just kind of laughing. Seth yeah, you obviously have [ laughter ] theres obviously a real natural chemistry you guys you can tell you guys are all having a lot of fun together. Absolutely. Absolutely. I have another clip. Seth okay, great. [ laughter ] this is kind of a this is like, saved the best for last. This is like where i really have a kind of a teteatete, which is headtohead in french. Seth uhhuh. [ laughter ] with salma. Seth okay. Anyway, it was just seth lets take a look. Yeah. Tonight, you have a choice of two entrees. The chef has prepared i would just like to say to cathy and grant, thank you for having me tonight. [ laughter ] yes. Seth yeah. [ applause ] i feel like and again, im not attacking you. I feel like that was a tetea okay. Seth yeah. Fair. Seth but you did you did actually and i agree, watching those, youre the glue. Theres no arguing. I am the glue. Seth what was it like to work with salma hayek . Um, such a dream. Seth yeah. I mean, i am such a huge fan of hers. I was i was just in awe of her. She does such an amazing performance. She was, like, i think she could tell like the jokes over by the way, i have a very small part. [ laughter ] like can we drop the scene, okay . I feel like a little trapped in the past scene, i just want to let it go. [ light laughter ] but, she like, i think she could tell that i felt so insecure about the size of my part. And like she was very perceptive and kind of could instantly sense how nervous i was. And so like the very first day we had to do this, like, wide shot where im, like, walking to the door and the cameras behind me. And i was like, my body i was so stiff, i like suddenly forgot to walk in opposition. [ light laughter ] and she was like, and when i came back from that take she was like, she was like, your butt is magical. [ laughter ] just like, she made me feel so good. Seth thats fantastic. Yes. And we instantly, you know she could she could tell, like, you know im gay. [ light laughter ] and she could tell that, like, she could tell that i was going to, like, worship her. You know . So i was like she knew how to kill with me. Like, when she would she would take cigarette breaks, sorry salma. And i would like constantly, i would like i dont smoke, but id be like i would [ light laughter ] seth just you wanted time, you wanted face time. Yeah, i just wanted time with her. And it was so nice. Seth there are other actresses that you are a great fan of. Youve had a long, is obsession a fair word . Is that or is that unfair . No. Seth a deep love . Yes. Seth for Toni Collette. Yes. Seth and so how did this begin . Toni. Do we know who toni is . [ cheers and applause ] seth fantastic. Thank you. Shes a very specific actress to be obsessed with as an 11yearold. Seth okay, youre 11. Yes. I was 11, i saw the movie clockwatchers. A criminally underrated indie by Jill Sprecher staring lisa kudrow, parker posey, Toni Collette, alanna ubach, i could go on. [ laughter ] its literally not streamable. So like, call your senators and get it on netflix. [ laughter ] because, its so good. Its so good. But i rented it thinking it was this like gal pal workplace comedy. cause it covers like, you know. And like and i rented it, but its like, its truly this like slow burning existential nightmare about like female friendship being like dismantled by white men in power. Seth wow. It was so much heavier for me than i was prepared for at that age. Seth yeah, sure. But, it like, it got to me. And it was like, it was toni played this like wallflower, this like kind of temp at this office. And i just, you know, as like a burgeoning gay boy, i was like, i was like [ gasp ] and then i and then i [ light laughter ] and then i rented muriels wedding. Seth fantastic. That was the first which was her breakout work. Seth yeah, thats the first i was aware of her. Yes. And she its such an iconic performance and it was over. Like once i saw that movie, it was just like, it like she got in my blood in a way that can only occur when youre that age. I named my dog muriel. Seth you did . Yes. I had a weiner dog that i named muriel. Seth and you ran a Toni Collette fan website . Yes. Seth okay. Yes. Seth and was that a thank you. Seth was there a so that was you . Yes. That was me. Cats out of the bag, it was me seth sixth sense i feel like is one of the roles shes also known for. Yes. The time that i became obsessed with her was right when she was doing like oscar campaigning for the sixth sense. So i was like, on the streets, i was like i was like, i was her manager, her lawyer. Seth you were trying to drum up . I was everything. I had no idea. Seth and is it true that you do an impression of Toni Collette from sixth sense . Yes. Seth okay. Can we see it . Oh, yeah. Seth okay, great. Well, this is do you want to be Haley Joel Osment . Seth sure. Okay. Ill have to feed you too many lines, but its the scene in the car. Seth mmhmm. And you know Haley Joel Osment is kind of telling he says, he says you know, i spoke to grandma and she said you were at her funeral and you asked her a question. And the answer is every day. What did you ask her . Okay . So will you just say, what did you ask her, as a small child. Seth gotcha. Okay. Seth what did you ask her . [ light laughter ] i asked her do i make her proud . [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] thank you, thank you and by the way, like, im not on snl. [ laughter ] you know what i mean . Like, its shocking. Seth its shocking. Its shocking. I did like a seven minute i did different toni rolls for my audition. And nothing. Seth oh, really . No call. Seth because they dont have anybody that does Toni Collette on snl. Exactly. Seth its been a huge hole. It was a hole the whole time i was there. I know, i know. Seth and here you were. Thank you so much for being here, john. Thank you, seth. Seth its such a pleasure. [ cheers and applause ] so nice to meet you. Seth always great to see you. John early, everybody. Beatriz at dinner opens in new york and l. A. Friday, nationwide june 16th. You can also see john at the bell house in brooklyn on june 24th and 25th. Well be right back with chef Masa Takayama. [ cheers and applause ] yo pomeranian scoots. Yopomestachits. Oh triscuit topped with yogurt, pomegranate and pistachios. Yopomestachioscuit. 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Journey into the adirondacks where campers carve through stone. And to the thousand islands, where kids can be kings. If you like big adventure, youll love new york state. Its all here. Its only here. Plan your Summer Getaway at iloveny. Com [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back to late night. Were here with chef Masa Takayama, everybody. Thank you. [ cheers and applause ] seth he is the chef and owner of the three michelinstarred restaurant masa, here in new york city. His new restaurant, tetsu, opens in tribeca later this month. And what are we going to make tonight . Uh, summer cocktail first. Seth lets do a summer cocktail first. I love your style. What are you gonna make me . Jalapeno. Seth great. A little jalapeno spicy. Seth i like spicy. There a little bit. Seth all right. Then the cucumber flavor. Seth okay. Yeah, like this. Seth great. Then a little bit ginger. Seth perfect. Yep. Seth is it all getting in there . Are you getting stuff in there . Okay, good. Alls go in. Yeah. Seth all right, i trust you. Youre gonna put alcohol in it too, right . Of course. Seth okay, good. [ light laughter ] thats my favorite part. Seth okay, good. Me too. Little bit sweet. Seth all right. Whats that you just put in . This is simple syrup. Seth simple syrup. Lime juice. Seth okay. Yeah, like this. Seth great. Then my favorite vodka. Seth vodka. How much do you want . Seth how much do i want . Whole bottle . Seth yeah, well just, you know. Dont i mean, what are you gonna do, take it home with you . [ laughter ] you can. Seth yeah. How about this . Seth that looks great. All right. Seth all right. Enough of that. Ice . Seth oh good, you brought a whole block. Whole block. Yep. Seth yeah. Oh, my goodness. Arent your hands, like, very important to your job . Isnt this a dangerous thing to do . Iron hands. Seth you have iron hands . Iron hands. Seth do you have your whole life, being a chef, have you cut your hands a million times . Many times. Seth gotcha. Many times. But were growing all the time, you know . [ light laughter ] seth thats appetizing. All right. This looks very good. A little seth all right. Some more. Seth oh, i always do that. Right. [ light laughter ] really . Seth you always got to rub something on the inside of the glass. Exactly. Thats it. Seth okeydoke. One for you. One for me. Seth perfect. I look a little desperate. [ laughter ] all right. Cheers to summer. Cheers for summer. Seth thank you very much. Thank you. [ cheers and applause ] seth excellent. Is it all right . Seth its excellent. All right, so what are we going to eat with it . [ laughter ] all right, lets go. Next, tuna. Hes a red, perfect, beautiful, lean. Seth beautiful. That we call it kaibutsu. Which is not fancy sashimi. Kaibutsu means just chop. Seth okay. Yeah. Seth oh, wow. That part, you can do it. Seth so i will say if i sat at the sushi bar and i saw that id be a little disappointed. [ laughter ] like im here for the show. Chop, were done. [ laughter ] this part this part, i want you to do this. Very simple. Seth theyre very simple. Very easy. Seth okay. Just, it screws off. Seth everything yeah. I could definitely do all of this. Pepper. Seth all right. Chop. Pepper a little bit. A little bit of the secret sauce. Seth secret sauce . No, not really. Seth okay. [ laughter ] i got so excited. Just soy sauce. Just seth oh, am i gonna chop now . A little chop, the pepper. Seth how thin do you chop it . I give you easy job. Seth okay. Rough chop. Seth okay, a rough chop. And little onion. Seth okay. And this. Then, while this is little bit. Seth uhhuh. Just sauce. Just like that. Seth this looks very good. Then seth and where is the tuna from . This from a japan. Seth okay, gotcha. This is seth do you use all japanese fish . Mostly. Seth mostly, okay. So just boom, boom, boom. Seth okay, gotcha. You got it . Yep. [ laughter ] thats too rough. Seth no that was perfect. Can i eat it now . No, no, no. Just like this. Yeah, yeah. Seth oh, that was exactly what i did. [ light laughter ] see this is very easy, right . Seth okay, yeah. Smash it. Seth great. A little lime juice. Seth oh, this is fantastic. Yep. Then, enough of that. Little piece of scallion. Seth okay. Just seth im very impressed. I would not want to do that part. Stop. Seth then, youre only allowed to do one more thing before i eat this tuna. Yeah. This, this, this. Seth okay, great. And just mix it. Seth uhhuh. Right. Seth great. Like that. Seth wow easy, right. Seth and so what would when you order this, what would this be called at a restaurant . At the tetsu . Seth yeah. Tuna guacamole butsu. Seth all right. Easy, right . Seth yeah, very easy. No. Seth tuna guacamole butsu. Yeah. And then, not too expensive. Seth no . Okay, good. [ laughter ] all right. What do we eat it with . Chopsticks . Fork . Yes. Seth great. [ light laughter ] okay. Very, very excited to try this. Yep. Seth very good. Its good right . Seth yep. Its excellent. Oh, my god. Its so good. [ light laughter ] all right, so what else what else are you gonna make us here . This is a seth im almost done with my butsu. Its good, right . Seth its good. This is, i made, 100 fish pasta. Seth wait, the pasta is made out of fish . 100 . Seth what kind of fish is it made out of . This is a whole called white fish. Seabream a type of seabream. Seth uhhuh. So you can make noodles out of fish . 100 . Seth wow. This is seth you keep saying 100 in a way that makes me not want to believe you. [ laughter ] so this good. This is gluten free. Seth okay. Yeah. Seth yeah. All protein. Seth great. Just throw in hot broth. Seth yep. Right here. Easy. Enough of that. Seth have a do a lot of people make fish noodles . Or is this very unique . No. Only some of them. In kyoto, people they make it. Seth okay. The chamdom fish, with chamdom fish seth wait, that was so fast. How long did only heat it up. Seth okay. Only heat it up. And then this is garlic. Seth uhhuh. Anchovies. Seth uhhuh. Chilly pepper a little bit. Seth great. Right. Smells good hot. Soothing hot. Seth yep. Im going to have some butsu while i wait. Yeah. [ light laughter ] see, look at this. This hot. Just throw in here. Right . Then mix it. Seth is it true that your new restaurant has a hamburger . Yes. Seth is that the first restaurant thank you for asking me seth well youre very welcome. [ light laughter ] yeah, yeah, yeah. Seth you dont have to say it like that. Yeah. Thats why i do seth do you eat a lot of hamburgers . I do. Seth so and this is the first time youve had a hamburger on one of your menus . Exactly. Seth and so is it a good burger . Are you pleased with it . Really, really great. Seth what kind of meat do you use . We do a lamb. Seth uhhuh. A duck and also beef and chicken. Seth all together . Separate. Seth separate. [ laughter ] so you have four burgers on your menu . Beginning. Seth okay, gotcha. Exactly. So this is a fish pasta. Seth okay. Cilantro on top. And a little lime juice. See, beautiful, right . Seth this tastes so good. Im very excited to hear what fish pasta or hear what tastes what first time, right . Seth first time having fish pasta. This is it. You wont taste any fish. Seth i wont taste any fish . All right, watch my face. Watch and youll be able to tell. [ laughter ] this is really good. Its good, right . [ cheers and applause ] seth its really good. Thank you so much for being here. Congratulations on your new restaurant. Thank you. Seth im gonna see you for a burger. Chef Masa Takayama, everybody. Well be right back. [ cheers and applause ] this is me when i feel controlled by frequent, unpredictable abdominal pain or discomfort and diarrhea. I tried Lifestyle Changes and overthecounter treatments, but my symptoms keep coming back. It turns out i have Irritable Bowel Syndrome with diarrhea, or ibsd. A condition thats really frustrating. Thats why i talked to my doctor about viberzi. A different way to treat ibsd. Viberzi is a Prescription Medication you take every day that helps proactively manage both abdominal pain and diarrhea at the same time. So i can stay ahead of my symptoms. Viberzi can cause new or worsening abdominal pain. Do not take viberzi if you have no gallbladder, have pancreas or severe liver problems, problems with alcohol abuse, longlasting or severe constipation, or a bowel or gallbladder blockage. Pancreatitis may occur and can lead to hospitalization and death. If you are taking viberzi, you should not take medicines that cause constipation. The most common side effects of viberzi include constipation, nausea, and abdominal pain. Stay ahead of ibsd with viberzi. [ cheers and applause ] seth my thanks to Courtney Love, john early, chef Masa Takayama. Thank you seth jared champion and the 8g band. Stay tuned for carson daly. Well see you tomorrow. [ cheers and applause ] carson good evening, im carson daly. This is last call. Lets do this thing. Tonight, deap vally is going to rock the glass house in pomona. Egyptian comedian, writer, and television host,
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