now who's with me? >> oh, thank you so much. thank you so much! god bless. ah, more toys. >> [laughs] >> thank you! >> hey, baby. hey, you remember when we went fishing over at the smoochie-woochie river? i was thinking about that. >> curtis, that's chattahoochee river. >> you remember chattahoochee. i remember smoochie-woochie. >> curtis, you know none of that happened. none of it. and i know what you're doing. >> i'm sweeping. >> yeah, curtis, you have been sweeping in the same little pile of dust for 15 minutes, so you're gonna do extra hours without doing extra work. >> please, baby, i'm trying to be thorough. >> well, baby, listen, you need to get on the good foot if you plan to get all of these toys ready. the youth minister will be coming to get everything in a few days. >> yeah, okay. oh, boy, i could have fun with the kids with this. >> you will not be shooting christian and little calvin with that gun. >> [imitating gunfire] they'd be all wet. >> baby, would you just stop playing? you already came down here late, baby. >> baby, that's 'cause i was handling business at the house. >> what business? >> the doorknob fix, the ceiling fan in the bedroom fix, the refrigerator-shelf fix. >> there was nothing wrong with the refrigerator shelf. >> i broke it before i left. fixed. >> okay, could you just fix all of this stuff in here, baby? i cannot function in all of this clutter. >> baby, you already said that. i got it, i got it. >> baby. >> i got this. okay. >> take this to the back. unh! ugh! ugh! ugh! oh, baby. >> curtis, unh-unh. stop playing. >> baby, i'm not playing. >> curtis. >> i'm not playing, baby. come help me. >> baby, stop playing. >> baby, will you come help me, please? i'm not playing. >> i'm sorry, baby. come on. >> aah! don't touch me! don't touch me! get back! >> would you like to go to the doctor? >> no, i won't go to no doctor! i just need to sit down, baby. >> well, hurry up. position yourself... >> ella, i just need to sit. aah! ow! ugh! >> you're sitting-- >> ow! [clatter] >> curtis! >> all these toys. why are all these toys all over the place, baby? you need to get somebody to help you clean this crap up. ohh. >> that was supposed to be you. >> ohh. >> what about this? >> aah! >> [laughs] >> hello, ladies. >> hi. >> how was the spa? >> it was heavenly. wait, wait. come here, come here. feel my face. glowing. >> ooh, nice. you got the glowing dermis. >> yes. [laughs] soft as a baby's bottom. thank you so much. thank you for treating me. you are the best husband i ever had. >> and thank you so much, janine, for treating me. that hot-stone massage worked out all the tension. >> wasn't it great? >> fabulous. >> c.j., you got to try it. >> no, thank you. i have other methods for working out my tension. >> ooh. >> pardon us. are the twins asleep? >> yeah. yeah. hayden was fighting it, man. i had to sing "three blind mice" like 10 times. [telephone ringing] >> ahem. hello? yes, this is she. what?! >> is everything okay? >> shh, shh, shh! are you serious?! [laughs] yes! okay, yes, i can. i'm on my way, i'm on my way. [laughs] >> what's going on? >> okay, okay, so, i entered this contest with a radio station, and i won two maxwell tickets for the concert this weekend! [laughs] >> whoo! >> hey, shh! man, the twins are asleep upstairs. >> oh, my gosh, i was trying to get tickets to that concert two weeks ago. it was sold out. i would give anything to go to that concert. >> i have got to run. i have a half-hour to get down to this radio station so i can pick up my tickets. i cannot believe that i won. aah! >> hello! >> oh, sorry. [door slams] [baby crying] >> oh, this is wonderful. let me try--wait--can you help me--can you put it over here? thank you. ohh. [chuckles] thank you all so much. thank you. such a lovely little couple. >> hello. hey, brother. >> hi there, babe. hi. you feeling better? oh, curtis, yes, you could not do that yesterday. >> went to the doctor, got a shot, and now i feel brand-new. unh. 3 points. >> oh, very good. very good, baby. i am so glad that you are here. look at this place. now, baby, all of these toys need to be cleared out by tomorrow. and the filters need to be changed. and then i was in the bathroom-- >> baby, i got all this. don't worry about it. i got it. hey, but i need you to-- need you to sign that for me. unh. >> what's this? >> ooh. it's my certificate of completion. i got to get it to the courthouse today. >> but, curtis, you did not do all of your hours. >> i mean, i could turn it in tomorrow, but tomorrow i want to go to the retired firefighters' luncheon. >> okay. you--baby, you have not put all of the time in. >> well, so? >> so? so i'm not signing it. [scoffs] >> what--what do you mean, you're not signing it? >> you have not completed all of the required hours, and if i said you did, then i would be lying, and i'm not going to lie, especially not in the help center, baby. >> oh, okay. it's no problem. well, come on, let's go outside. you can sign it in the parking lot. >> curtis, i'm not doing that either, no. >> come on, baby. come on, now. it's crunch time. now, you know i would've had all this done. i would've had all my hours in if i hadn't hurt my back. you know that. >> [scoffs] you could've had these community-service hours done, baby, long before now. >> okay, well, then you come on down to the courthouse with me, because you got to explain this. come on. >> curtis, i am not going down to a courthouse with you. >> then how about if i promise to you that i will put in all the hours, so, that way, you ain't really lying? >> miss gladys, can i please have the room? now, curtis, rules are rules. >> look, i need to get this turned in by tomorrow, okay? just sign the thing. >> hey, look, i need to have these toys picked up and packed up by tomorrow. >> i told you i'm going to a luncheon tomorrow. >> well, i don't think you're gonna be able to be in two places at the same time. >> baby, i can't do all this work in one day! >> well, curtis, that is not my problem, is it? don't do this. >> ella--okay. this the game we gonna play? >> curtis, don't do it. >> are you sure this the game you want to play, ella? >> you dealt this hand, okay? you did this. you were the one who made the illegal right turn. you are the one who chose not to pay the fine. you are the one who has not done all of the hours, and you gonna blame me? that's not right. that's not right. >> all right, fine. >> fine. >> you be that way, then. be that way. i'll tell you what, though. i asked you for one favor. i'd have done it for you. [scoffs] ♪ when you experience something great, you want to share it. with everyone. that's why more customers recommend verizon, america's largest 4g lte network. >> hey! ♪ baby >> hey, baby. >> ♪ baby oh, burned my beans. ♪ this is the--unh >> janine! >> aah! >> what are you grooving to? >> you scared me. what? >> what are you grooving to? >> maxwell! >> got you all... >> yeah, i was in the zone. >> [laughs] >> figured i'd have to get my fix since miranda isn't inviting me to the concert. >> you still hung up on that? >> no. yeah. look, i really wanted to go. really bad. >> i wouldn't worry about it. anything can happen. >> the concert is tomorrow night. >> well, she's probably busy. she hasn't gotten around to it. you guys have been hanging out a lot lately. >> i know, i know. i treated her to the spa, huh? huh? she saw these shoes. they were bad, too. she didn't have enough. i let her put it on our credit card. >> you did what? >> it was--it was on sale. ooh, i bet she's gonna wear them to the concert. >> i wouldn't be surprised if she shows up and asks you. you guys will be at the concert together, screaming, "maxwell!" >> maxwell. >> "maxwell!" look. look who it is, baby. miranda. >> hey. >> hey. how you doing? >> hi. [chuckles] >> okay. i just wanted to, um, give you this. >> wonder what that could be. >> what is it? [chuckles] >> you know, it's that thing that you let me use. >> oh, you don't have to talk in code. c.j. knows all about the shoes and the credit card... >> yep, and i will make sure that this goes on the bill. >> oh, well, thank you for letting me use it. i appreciate it. >> yeah, it's no problem. you see, i understand. i understand, when your card is charged to the max, well... you can always call me. [chuckles] i'm here. >> thank you. thank you. and i just stopped by. i wanted to drop it off for you so you'd have it, but i got to run back to the house. >> oh, you got to go. >> yes. you know, janine... >> yes? >> i apologize, because i have been meaning to ask you. would you-- >> yes, i would love to! [laughs] >> thank you so much. >> i never thought you would ask me! >> oh, janine, i have been saying to myself, "miranda, you need to make sure to ask janine if she will babysit for you for the concert." >> wait, wait, wait. >> thank you. >> you want me to babysit? >> yes! thank you. >> um, miranda, what about... i want my shoes back. >> good morning, baby. >> curtis... you did not come home last night. >> i know, baby. i was-- >> no, no, no, no, no. let me finish. now, we have been married for over 30 years. >> ella-- >> and i will not tolerate this, curtis. i don't know where you have been. you did not call me. you got mad and stormed out because i did not go to a courthouse with you? if i had gone down there, curtis, i was gonna tell the truth. but if i tell the truth... >> ella, zip it. zip it, babe. please. come on. just go with me. >> curtis, i'm not going nowhere with you. >> but you're just making it difficult. come on and go with me, and then you don't have to say nothing. just go. >> go where? >> this gonna be a long ride. >> curtis, why did you bring me down here? it's too early in the morning for all this foolishness. >> just hush. look. >> would you just--okay, turn the lights on. when did you do this? why didn't you tell me, curtis? >> [chuckles] i did it last night. i pulled a double shift, baby. get all my hours in. huh? you were right, ella, and i was wrong. and i was definitely wrong for asking you to lie. >> i appreciate this. >> and i appreciate you sticking to your guns. >> i'm proud of you, curtis. >> thank you, baby. >> i really am. and i want to give you something, baby. >> baby? in the help center? it's been a long time. can you help me with this? >> [laughs] >> what time they open officially? >> you are crazy. >> come on. >> curtis. >> come on. got space for you right here. >> curtis, we have 30 minutes before we open. >> that's 28 more than i need. come on! >> here is your certificate. you come get this. >> that's right. you got to sign it. lord, i'm not as young as i used to be. >> no, i'm not signing it. >> yeah, you got to sign it, baby. i did all the hours. >> i already signed it. i said to myself... "the curtis payne i know is gonna make things right. i don't know how, but i know he is, because he's an honest man." >> so you mean i was here all night for nothing? >> staying here all night, putting together toys for needy children, baby, that is something. >> it did make me feel good. >> thank you, baby. and you can get this to the courthouse and still make the luncheon. >> now, that's a good idea. done deal. mwah. thank you, baby. >> thank you, curtis. >> oh, hey. you know what i'm gonna do? after i take this certificate in, i'm gonna take that $250 that i saved from not paying that fine, and i'm gonna buy a bunch of toys. unh! >> curtis. >> and i'm gonna donate one. >> curtis. >> that's it. >> curtis-- >> no. no, baby. i'm not doing this for glory. i'm doing it because it's in my heart. and somewhere in this world, there's a lucky kid. one, somewhere. >> curtis. >> [chuckles] god is good, baby. >> yes, he is. all the time. and all the time... and all the time... god is good, baby. >> that's what i just said. come back, baby. come back. >> no, come back to church. that's where he is. >> hey, baby. >> hey, baby. >> aww. what's for dinner? >> [chuckles] i promised the kids pizza. i hope you don't mind. >> can we get grown-up pizza this time? i hate when they take the pepperonis, make them into little smiley faces. >> sure. i needed to order some more anyway because miranda is bringing the boys over and that calvin jr. can eat. >> he takes after his daddy. >> yeah. >> so, you never told miranda how you felt about her not inviting you to the concert? >> no. no. maybe i just assumed too much. >> aw. well, i'm sorry it didn't work out for you. i know how much you two like hanging out together. >> yeah. [knocking on door] >> hello. >> hey, look at you with your hot pants on, looking all fly. >> thank you very much. >> nice shoes. >> oh, these old things? >> mm-hmm. >> okay, what are you doing here so early? where are the kids? >> well, calvin got a last-minute work assignment, and he can't go to the concert tonight. >> really? wow. that's too bad. >> so... kind of have this leftover, extra concert ticket. >> what you gonna do with it? >> you know, i know it's last-minute and all, but i was wondering... you want to go to the concert with me? >> heck, yeah! >> [laughs] >> thank you! >> we are gonna have so much fun. >> i only need a moment. i just have to put on my shoes, girl. this is gonna be it! >> we got time. what? >> don't do that. you're the one that said anything could happen. i hope you don't have any plans this evening. >> no, no. have a great time. >> [squeals] thank you! oh, my gosh. i have been waiting to see him in concert. >> oh, i am so excited. >> i just... >> what are you doing? >> all right, um, i have a confession to make. >> what, janine? >> um... the p.r. story that calvin is working on, c.j. asked me to assign to somebody, and i purposely assigned it to calvin, in hopes that he couldn't go to the concert, so i could have his ticket. >> janine. >> girl, please don't worry about it. calvin acted like he didn't want to go, anyway. he said he didn't want to see me screaming for another man. and he was kind of excited about that little p.r. story, so it's fine. >> so you're not mad at me? >> i will be if you don't move outside. >> okay. we're going. we're going. love you, baby. thank you. [squeals] >> yes, we're going. [laughs] >> hey, calvin. hey, you owe me big-time for faking this assignment so you wouldn't have to go to this concert. sure. come on over. ♪ ♪ all the goodness of milk, all the deliciousness of hershey's syrup. >> oh, curtis, thanks again for all of your help. i can only imagine what those little kids' faces are gonna look like when they light up when they get those toys. >> anything i can do to help, baby. >> you know, curtis, you have your moments, but you really are a good man. >> yes, i am. >> and, so help me god, i will put you in the last choke hold if you mess my hair up with that water gun. >> what water gun are you talking about? >> did you get that water gun from the help center, baby? >> what water gun are you talking about? >> the water gun that's in your hand, curtis. >> baby, i don't have a water gun in my hand. >> curtis. >> what are you talking about? >> hold your hands up. open them. open both palms at the same time. yeah. >> you are tripping. >> yeah, i ain't tripping. >> sometimes i think you're going crazy. >> okay. going crazy. >> brace yourself! >> curtis. captioning made possible by sony pictures television wow. these chef ming people really know their way around a wok. they should change the name of this dish to egg foo yum. they were on their game tonight. i'm telling you, you should have tried the pu-pu platter. i'm sorry, the what platter? pu-pu. [laughs] whoo! how do you think that's funny and still hold down a job? i'm complicated. oh, you know what i can totally go for right now? that new frozie fudge blast from quicky burger. [clears throat] what are you doing? my baby wants a frozie fudge blast, my baby's getting a frozie fudge blast. no, no, no, no, forget it. it's 10:00 already, and you're in your bad underwear. that's all right. i'll just hit the drive through. is it inconvenient? sure, but being married means sometimes doing things that you don't want to do. i hope you'll keep that in mind during our no-no time later. doug: ♪ bo, bo, bo, [tapping on steering wheel] fudge. ♪ uh, uh, uh-uh, uh, uh, uh, uh ♪ ♪ uh, uh, uh fudge. man on intercom: welcome to quicky burger. may i take your order? yeah, 2 frozie fudge blasts. will that be all? yeah, i think that'll, uh... ah, who we kidding? throw in a number 4. anything else? uh, does the number 4 have quicky curlies? no, the number 3 does. all right, then i'll take a number 3. so cancel the 4 and substitute a 3? when did you hear the word "cancel?" gimme both. may i bucket size you for an extra 70 cents? my man, i like the cut of your jib. yes, bucket size me. that's 12.44. pull to the front window. gotcha. [clears throat] [car motor grinds] [grinding] ok, you're not starting. come on. don't-- don't do this now. don't do this. you're doing it. you're doing it. you're doing it. you son of a mother! man on intercom: sir, you're gonna have to pull forward now. yeah, i just got a little problem here, ok? one sec. second man: hey, foxy, nice legs!