Hello hello from monday at 16 45 on ntv its time to extend osago, millions of motorists do it on sravni and receive gifts. Buy osago or other insurance on sravni and win a car. If insurance, then compare on the site and in the application. Moscow coffee houses a combination of tradition and advanced technology the highest class, and i love the taste of pleasure , i recommend the refrigerator will not be enough 1790 to 50 without overpaying your business. For each type of business, special services for retailers provide more information about customers in comparison with competitors. I sometimes look through my old notes and think how exactly victor hugo said laughter drives winter away from a persons face. In terms of laughter in the hall, times have not changed. Thats whats interesting, they laugh at the same topics. And when journalists ask me, is it true that the joke has become more difficult. I say no, absolutely not true, because conflicts between people remain. All the same characters remain. The same officials have remained the same, just as in soviet times people who did not have the ability to become artists and writers, but had only meager abilities to become officials, went to officials, and in our time , it is not artists, writers , pilots or doctors who become officials, that is, all this remains the same. I he must say that here in my mind life is amazingly paradoxical sometimes what happens in life is impossible to describe. Well, even in a humorous story, in order not to be unfounded , i will just give you a few examples while working with a journalist. I had to move from one city to another by train. And i had a ticket for the second carriage. Thats all i have, so to speak , the backstory. I tell you. I came. On the first. And 90 people accompanying children with things go looking for these three cars. These three wagons cant find him anywhere. And most importantly, they cant find the foreman anywhere train. Yes, i came to the head of the station and angrily thinking that i have the right to do so , i ask the head of the station where the foreman of the train does not answer in the first three cars. This is where it all started. I mean the story went on there. I will not tell it all, but i wrote about this story, felgeton, filiton, printed, and then uh, i meet a friend who read from filito. She tells me that this is all nonsense, compared to what happened to me and also in a similar situation, and he tells me how in one city to the composition of the passenger connected, two ninth cars by chance. Well , of course, its complete absurdity. Imagine yourself in the place of those people who have tickets to the ninth year. Well, firstly, all normal people can count to nine, so they know the ninth car for sure. This is the one immediately after the eighth, not the one before the tenth. Therefore , naturally, everyone got into the first and the ninth car and the train went. A very surprised conductor of the second ninth car, which not a Single Person went to the foreman of the train in the first car. Says my wagon empty, that one, he says, which ninth he got angry, he says, they messed up something again, at the box office as always and gave a radiogram to the next station to sell tickets in the ninth year to everyone who received tickets in the ninth year. At the next station, they were also normal people, they also knew how to count to nine and also understood that the ninth one was the one after the eighth right away, therefore, naturally , the conductor of the first ninth car ran together in the first and ninth years, where everyone drank tea a long time ago, went to bed in horror, she says, comrades. What do you mean, i dont have any free space at all. Its some kind of mistake. Run, hurry to the foreman of the train. And run quickly, because he is in the first car. And you still ran for only 3 minutes, those races run with things, seeing off the children. To the first carriages they meet a very surprised brigade in the train from the past. Where in such quantity . They say, we are all doubles from the ninth car there. The foreman understands that he does not understand something, but what he does not understand. He doesnt understand yet, so he really quickly settles them in empty places in the first cars, because after 3 minutes he gives the train departure and the train goes. At this time the conductor of the second year of the ninth comes to him and says my car is empty. The brigadier begins to slowly go crazy and dont believe her, she goes and sees that the ninth car is really empty, and then he starts counting the cars and calculates, they really find out that such a mistake happened, they connected two ninth years, and then he naturally decides to correct this mistake and returns to his compartment and gives a radiogram to the next station to unhook the ninth car. It was at night. Those who unhooked were also normal people and also knew how to count up to 9, so they unhooked the ninth first ninth car peacefully sleeping people and took him to the siding. After that, the train foreman was reported by the train foreman, finally, he sighed with relief and gave the train the departure and the train drove off. At this time, the conductor of the second ninth year came to him and said my car was empty. I dont know if the foreman of this trains. After this flight, only this story was told to me by a man who was traveling in the first ninth carriage. Late at night he went out to smoke smoked is called smoked, smoked, smoked, smoked, smoked, smoked, he thinks that we are standing for a long time again. Not behind the wagons. No, the bare steppe luna and the siding when he told me this. I laughed so hard, especially when he told me how he woke everyone up figure out where they are. I laughed so hard that he got offended at me and said, you re laughing in vain in this, by the way. No, nothing funny, by the way, we were all in this car on a tourist package to hungary after the story about the two ninth cars was told. The first popularity came, and before one of the concerts, a spectator came up and asked, please tell me, what is your real name. I say, well, i dont have a pseudonym. I have my real name zadornov, i can prove he gave her a business card, and it was written in english language Mikhail Zadornov and v. Wright was written in skolkah, she says, listen, what do you have in brackets, it was necessary in odessa with such an odessa accent. I say in brackets is written reiter she says. Yeah, thats your real last name. I say reiter this is the writer talking. I know that you are a writer, but your last name is reiter, which means its really 2 oclock in the morning. You know what people are doing at this time of two in the morning. Sleeping car. Dnepropetrovsk is a train, the door opens. A ukrainian woman appears with such gold teeth. First the teeth appear. Yes not needed. At the end of the train , the conductor runs out shouting that you are yelling at sleep. Crystal from the other end yells who sleeps . Conducted opens the first door, out people. Come here. Look, look, there is a grave full of such a person by the legs, tell this fool. From there, like from the grave, a man is like that, and it crunches in front of him. About the film, yes, the old woman with such energy collected and stole flowers in the cemetery that she did not notice the freshly dug grave and fell down there. Cant get out . And she had food to go. Talk further she sits poured milk. A glass sits at the bottom of the graves. She is kind, she hears voices, you would drink, you would drink, but you know, not from anything. She says, yes, for a nice glass of me often i think they call me a satirist writer like that. Eh, sticksticked me such a tag. I dont consider myself a satirical writer, first of all, i dont consider myself a writer, because i go on stage and talk about what i see about what i think, share my observations. I am the most ordinary journalist. Just a journalist working on stage and who a man standing at a trolley bus stop prepares his observations in this form. Waited for a girl with flowers in 7 minutes. He ended up in intensive care. Thats not in galante, not in germany, not in finland , so the energy of the director. It wont put everything in its place. The girl with flowers on the decor of the bus, the bus started off at the last moment , one of those who were on the bus would like to spit on the closing doors. Listen, why do you care about idlers, did the sniper hit right . The spit circled around the flowers, right here. All a couple of people trolls in the bus laughed, well, nice people spat. They leave the doors are closed somehow not very gray route is already obtained by the one who spat. Not enough success seemed two people only from 0 more faces began to arrange spat upon. This is where it would have ended in another country, but we didnt have a russian peasant. He threw away the flowers. Picks up speed by the bus vomited without talking jumped up rolled into the mouth of the one who spat passengers, well satisfied happy route here one spit the second in rock rolled up, but the one who got it in rock was with his sidekick. They pushed the spit on the coccyx. Imagine how events unfold. Yes, heres the dramaturgy, and the directors of the Russian Energy industry are falling with a cop on the asphalt, the doors seem to close a little. It was also necessary to humiliate him, and the one from the bus made a more terrible face, a very offensive face, and finally put it in the closed ones in the world. Now in your imagination , transport yourself to the place. He looks at the picture. The mug is fixed. He jumped up for the second time picking up speed with the bus and is pulled in the face in full. And did not notice how he flew into the stop. This is what foreigners today cannot understand energy in russian people. I started traveling abroad. In the late seventies, on may 1 , the trip was to poland, then to germany, then to west germany, then to america, and i was lucky to see how the attitude towards russians was changing in the world. At first, at first they felt sorry for us and were afraid, then they began to be surprised and continue to feel sorry for us during gorbachevs perestroika, and then they were simply surprised. Apparently us and one person from the city of khantymansiysk helped buy ties in new york and led him to a very expensive versace store. Versace is a fashion designer, like the word of hares we are known all over the world, but the tie cost 200. This sidekick is such a khantymansi completely evdokimov hero, and i think now i will bring him in and ask me how much i will say 200 dollars. Will you tell me . Are you stupid, what else did you find . And i bring him and say, thats what he says. 200 is ok i say go buy the same korean ones around the corner for 5, definitely not him, he says what korean sidekicks do i buy. You know, in khantymansiysk there is such a life that if they wear galoshes, without versalchiki there will be fish , then there will be no fish. Next yes, you must first explain. Thats what, if two purchases in this store happen in a day, it will be a good day for the store. This is a very expensive store, and if an american buys three ties, he will still demand a discount and pay it out within three weeks. Mm, then they pack him in a branded bag, and he pays with a cash credit card, as i told you, there no, everything in russia has long been ethical and will leave. Why did i tell this, to make it clear, the next we go along the rack of ties from ties, 25 meters, how such sports hang galkins hang behind us is a saleswoman of the same level. I work as an interpreter for shopping, and the saleswoman tells her, and the saleswoman remembered this day for the rest of her life, because she had no friends from the city of khantymansiysk before. These two ties, these ones, and the last four meters. 47 ties for 200 dollars count she does not respond to for a very specific reason, now it will be clear why, when i say what question she asked me. He tells me everything when he is 47 homies, he has 47 ties. He tells me everything. I say, she hung everything like that on the kolkhostika, which he got into his hand. Shes so worth it. Everything, he says, is a question that immediately shows the psychology of americans. She asks what the master will take from this. Nothing like this can come to her american minds. They ask what you will take. He says, well, what a fool, i understand everything, they say, take everything there will be a feeling that you were present at this, which means that you have ever seen the eyes of a deepsea temple, mesh eyes. With such a stereoscopic effect, they are slightly retracted, and he once said that he still seems to be about two centimeters in her. She says everything i say everything. She paused, then asks, and how will the master pay. Well, she so, uh, survived this moment to buy everything, and in general, she asked a professional question how she would pay, because not every credit card can pay for such an amount. As an obedient interpreter , i tell him how you will pay. He doesnt understand questions at all. He says, in what sense, as you know, there are two ways for him to eat nature and everything, here he is. How will i how will he walk away from such a turn forgot. I say, well, like a card. He says, i dont have this card. He suddenly realized that he would not be above the levels. He says, yes, i will pay with money, and i transfer money in cash , which means, here the crab gives the maximum amplitude, and she asks me. Where is this from mister . He didnt have a decision before. What happiness for me was to answer her this gentleman from the city of khantymansiysk city at that moment, her eyes pressed against his hands, because youll get it from the city of khantymansiysk city, pulled it out of your pocket. Heres a pack of 100 dollars bought. I beg you. Feel the next part of the phrase. You will feel a sense of pride for our people. Over the years of their existence, the americans did not think overtightened. So humiliating their money, they did not think that they could be worn in rubber bands from curlers. When she saw that he was slobbering his finger at the speed of a calculating machine, he began to slobber these dollars in front of him. She wanted to go to khantymansiysk. At that moment, this city became the city of her dreams. She managed to pack only two ties in this long gut of the brand. He says its stupid. He has already calculated everything. I say, she packs a branded versatility bag, so shes gone crazy. Let me throw it here in a bag. Thats all shes never seen 200 versace ties like noodles plastic bag. She says yes, what lord he says, leave the negro who washes the floors said. No, he turned white, you know , he became white, his ageold dream came true at that moment, because an american would not allow you to do that. He has never, bending into three destruction, he was driving, this black negro lapsha versailles khantymansiysk. I have my own concept of our national character. Or rather, uh, the concept of what it should be. The fact is that the russian coat of arms is two heads of an eagle, and there are three crowns over two heads. That is, there is no head of its own, one head of an eagle looks at europe, the second at asia, because we are the only country in which there is both asia and europe, the sky created us in such a way that the best from asia and the best from europe should be concentrated in us, and therefore our national trait is not to be westerners, but to take the best from both. That is, as i believe that we should get off the life of the body from the west and leave spirituality, which is in asia and i do not consider myself a western person. I consider myself more of an oriental person, by the way, the ability to laugh at yourself is asian. Our two came to america to drink, but in america they dont give you a bottle, because you cant order a bottle of vodka there, for example, because its too much. They drink in small portions called one serving, two servings. He has been living for a long time, and the second one came from russia to mexican restaurants and they went in and said, so bring us. Got one salad. Says they say 103 in one salad. Lets have a quick drink, and she went back, she says, you know, i dont understand english very well, im recently from mexico you could not repeat. She does say. 10 drinks one salad she thought, you know what phrase she says, here pride covers ours. She tells you to put more chairs. Come on quickly i miss our hophop this thing is juggling. So that we dont chase you anymore. Caring says, you immediately bring 20. And the salad. Dont bother to tell you, yes brought 23 moved away and the whole staff of the restaurant came out to watch how our business is. Yeah, the owner of the restaurant shook our hands, said, you are such wonderful customers, by the way, he says, owner, keep in mind, we have every fourth day in the restaurant for free. Separately, please, put it in safety. The entire staff of the restaurant came out to see off our last journey, ours is fine. We sat down and our story begins. Just imagine, with what a sense of pride. You leave this hall and the police stop ours, they say, farah doesnt work for you , you know, ours drive with one eye gouged out, even in america, ours only, in order not to breathe on the policeman, opens the window a little bit for the ear cleanly. And the ear sticks out and with his ear he says to the policeman, they say, everything is fine. Pulled, so the policeman went to the smell to the ear and speaks within the normal range. He doesnt seem to be cheating. He same not says, that within its norms. No, not within. Well have to pass a test strictly according to american law , our latest achievement of American Science and technology has turned pale, because you cant refuse to take a bribe, youll get a short time, but youll get it. They are fools on the roads there, they dont know that you can earn money in this way. You know that only our in the world they know how to breathe through their nose like this. I breathed on my mother, when the drunk returned from kindergarten. Quiet. Quietly up to pride is not enough looking at the display there the answer is ready. The poor american didnt even know what it was. He shook the test. He doesnt have a flair. Here you insult me. Im like a corpse, or something, the american was confused and let go of ours, so another one stopped ours, after a while he says to us. I will complain to the municipality already one insulted me. He also had a troll, i didnt believe him, contacted the previous one, you hear the corpse stopped ours under escort and escorted us home. Give him what he wants igor scalar. Nikita panfilov, my coach was only now leave me alone when there was no sergei chirkov, i really want you to win, you hear me, oksana afinshina, you are doing this. Alexey chadov, i am a duty fighter. Tomorrow 19 45 on ntv premiere from monday at 16 45 on ntv even i am Konstantin Ivlev in a delicious point, using 100 chicken breast meat, so you feel the taste of chicken and nothing extra in tasty and points with a sticker or attach phone to the terminal. So want to keep us back open marriage, watch only in the online cinema okko hotel or hotel. Book immediately at villa hotel. Ru. From 169 rubles. Every day solution from vtb is to please your loved ones with convenient and fast transfers within russia and more than 10 countries of the world. Get free debit cards for life vtb pay less. So quickly booked you a surprise in our app. For an eld