Reggie im afraid thats absolutely correct. James its absolutely correct. Ladies and gentlemen, please thank our incredible guests. John kazsinski and jimmy butler. Penn and teller are here when we come back. [diggy by spencer ludwig] with another new flavor you never saw coming. Grilled, glazed korean bbq shrimp. And try as much as you want of flavors like new parmesan peppercorn shrimp. Just come in before it ends. Wejust how wet and sticky your current gel antiperspirant is. Now, were going to show you how degree dry spray is different. Degree dry spray. Degree. It wont let you down. Hashtag stuffy nose. Hashtag no sleep. Hashtag mouthbreather. Just put on a breathe right strip. It instantly opens your nose up to 38 more than Cold Medicine alone. Shut your mouth and say goodnight mouthbreathers. Breathe right. Im bushed ive been on my feel alyea me too. Excuse me. Coming through ride the gel wave of comfort with dr. Scholls massaging gel insoles. Theyre proven to give you comfort. Which helps you feel more energized. All day long. I want what he has. Do you own a plane . Do you own a bank . Pat toomey owned both. But its the fact that toomey owns a seat in the u. S. Senate that should really concern us. While on the Senate Banking committee, pat toomey voted to rewrite rules to help bankers like him. And he tried to eliminate protections put in place to stop wall streets risky practices. Pat toomey looking out for wall street and himself, not pennsylvania. Senate majority pac is responsible for the content of this advertising. Katie v she stays late. Rd. But she gets paid 21 less than her male coworkers. Pat toomey has voted time after time against equal pay for women, against pay that helps hard working families get ahead. Katie o c for my daughters and yours, ill fight for equal pay for women. Families need it; youve earned it. Katie v o im katie mcginty, and i approve this message because its your turn to get ahead. James im so thrilled our next guests are here. Ones the New York Times best selling author of this new book presto and you can see them live in las vegas at the rio allsuite hotel and casino. Please welcome the phenomenal penn teller [ music ] you know, we do a show called penn teller fool us. And the premise is we get to see a magician do a trick once and we have to figure out how they do it just watching it once. Were going to give you an opportunity to be us. Youll all be the judges for us. Well do a magic trick once. See if you can figure out exactly how we do it. Hit it were going to misdirect with you some stupid dance thing and stuff and some big vegasstyle props and a big platform and flashing lights. Dont be confused with any of that. Keep your eye on exactly how the trick is done. You have kind of a space theme you see here. And the trick looks like this. You ready . Watch every move. Figure it out. Blast off first stage you really blew my mind next stage i reached but could not find blast off its floating aloft cast off blast off to the stars above no relativity in my galaxy blast off lift off for love lift off for love lift off for love ready hold on to me escape velocity lift off for love lift off for love lift off for love lift off for love blast off [ cheering and applause ] have you got it, reggie . Did you guys figure it out . Do you have it all figured out . You see, thats the way everybody else does it. This is the way do it. Give you the opportunity to check your work. Just make it a little easier. Weve got to get these built special. Hey matt franco, suck on this. Trap door first scam you slipped away from me next scam youre not where you should be trap door trap door hopped in for a while back door trap door missed you by a mile you look at me and laugh see, its my hand. While i saw you in half trap door ripped off for love ripped off for love ripped off for love aint no mystery its just trickery ripped off for love ripped off for love ah ah ah ripped off for love trap door [ cheering and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, penn teller oh my gosh. What a treat. Truly amazing. Penn teller fool us airs wednesdays at 8 00 on the cw. How incredible to have them here. Well be right back, everybody. It was love at first touch met and all you wanted to do was surround them in comfort and protection thats why only pampers swaddlers is the 1 choice of hospitals to wrap your baby in blanketlike softness and premium protection mom oh hi baby so all they feel is love wishing you love, sleep and play. Pampers james thanks for watching. Tomorrow night, Carpool Karaoke with britney spears. Well see you then. Reggie, take us home. Captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh accfirst there is shaving. Captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh blades. Sharp and precise. Then gillette shielding. Comfy lubrication before and after. And also cooling. Oooh. I got goosebumps. Gillette proshield chill with lubrication before and after the blades. Shields and cools while you shave. Proshield chill from gillette. The best a man can get. Proshield. Available with or without chill. Shhh laughing whats going on . Gasp you going to shut it down . This is totally going viral. I wanna go viral. Going viral . Get scrubbing bubbles, clean and disinfect. 20,000 views what . Oh, it looks so clean in here. Windex that you dont even know its there . So clear by sfx slide show smudge it with the new smudge stick even clear glass gets visibly smudged in a snap. Sfx smudge sounds against glass get it now and say no to spotless clear windex glass. Coming to you from hollywood almost live, its comic unleashed with your host byron allen tonight byron welcomes leslie jones, ralph harris, dean edwards and roy woods, jr. , and now the recipient of Michael Jacksons original nose byron allen all right. Yea boy, were going to have some fun tonight a lot going on in the news. Did you see this . Scotland yard has opened an exhibit of artistic fakes including numerous picassos, sheingals and madonnas accent. Heres some bad news. A florida man playing in the swamp was eaten by a 12footal gator, but the good news is i just saved a ton of money on my Car Insurance by switching to geico. Say hello to dj ed one very funny people here tonight. Dean edwards [ applause ] [ indiscernible ] leslie jones and rob harris [ applause ] are you enjoying the single life . Well, you know how all the Single Ladies in the house say hey whats up, you lonely bitches you know you know thats how we do it, by. Im single and when we close that door, we be, like, oh did you just celebrate a birthday . Yea, man, but i dont know about celebrating, but i had one. You know you go out to these restaurants and theyre i go out to my buddies and they come out and sing the stupid song to you . I go to a restaurant by myself to get cheesecake and sweet tea and i look and i look and my server is over there singing to some 88yearold dude. Hes old hes probably dead at the table. He doesnt know the words to the song. Hes 88 and to the other people in the restaurant and im waiting on my food and my server is over there singing to your oldass granddaddy. Thats how i see it. And then i get kicked out of applebees. One of your kids just celebrated a birthday, right . I have two little girls and whether when you see little girls you realize those are two vaginas you have to worry about, you know . For real men want son, you know what i mean . Every man i love my daughters to death. They are soldiers and they hold you down, butsome deep down youre, like, come on little boy so you can take credit for something, man, you know . You have a little boy and hes a good athlete and people are like, your sons pretty good. Where do you think he got that from . All i do is get blamed for how bad they act. I was there when the babies came out and my wife was mad because i didnt watch. My wife was, like, why didnt you watch . Thats too much information. You never had problems rummaging around. She used the word rummaging, like its a luggage rack. I found it its here somewhere and those babies, man, you see them come out and your whole world changes because my wife was screaming, get it out two and two and the baby came out and, you know, you see that child come out and shes screaming at the top of her lungs you realize she been lying to you for a long time. My daughter came out 6 pounds, 14 ounces, i guarantee there aint a man in here 6 pounds, 14 ounces. I aint doing no damage. I was there rummaging, dont try to [ applause ] denzel washington. Hey, youre watching comics unleashed with the man, the myth. Stay tuned for more well be right back, dont go away. For more and my Cold Medicines ugh, iwearing off. Chtime im dragging. Yeah, that stuff only lasts a few hours. Or, take mucinex. One pill fights congestion for 12 hours. No thank you very much, shes gonna stick with the shortterm stuff. 12 hours . Guess i wont be seeing you for a while. Is that a bisque . I just lost my appetite. Why take medicines that only last 4 hours, when just one mucinex lasts 12 hours . Start the relief. Ditch the misery. Lets end this. Geico motorcycle, great rates for great rides. Katie v she stays late. Rd. But she gets paid 21 less than her male coworkers. Pat toomey has voted time after time against equal pay for women, against pay that helps hard working families get ahead. Katie o c for my daughters and yours, ill fight for equal pay for women. Families need it; youve earned it. Katie v o im katie mcginty, and i approve this message because its your turn to get ahead. All right. Welcome back to comics unleashed. Now, are you from birmingham . Birmingham, alabama. All right. I love my hometown, but it is one of the most nondiverse places. We havent gotten our first shipment of mexicans yet. I want some diversity. Its like what sucks is in some parts of america, you know, like black people hate on latinos. That makes no sense to me, you know . I got home boys, all the reason the latinos get right is because what black folks did in the civil rights movement. Which is true. But thats the point, civil rights movement. How are you going to get jealous . The i have a dream speech was for all races. Let me ask you something. Is it always the mans fault . No. Let me let you know something, ladies, about men. They have a dont give a damn chip installed right here. Its activated as soon as you open up your mouth, okay . You know, as women we hold on to stuff too long. I went out with this guy for three years. Great guy, great relationship. He cheated on me. I forgave him. You know we dont forget about that. Every time we got into an argument, i brought it right back up. He couldnt get away with nothing. You know we out of cookies . What . Did that bitch eat them cookies . [ cheers and applause ] [ laughter ] you only eat cookies with me. Im the only cookie eater here in the house. You talking about a good marriage . I heard you was thinking about getting marriage. Marriage is really nothing more than two people who just agree on a bunch of stuff. Thats all any relationship is. You go to church . Yeah, i go to church too. Okay. Well, do you watch movies . Yeah, i like movies do. Lets have sex. Okay. Can i really promise to agree with you forever . I cant do that. I dont even know if i like csi miami or csi new york. I heard you were a big fan of rappers in movies. Theyre doing a bad boys 3, but theyre not bringing back Martin Lawrence and will smith. Theyre talking about having y jayz in there. Its going to be miserable. Jayz going to be all, how crazy is that . They got guns and everything. Denzel washington, oh, you said you want to be actors . Dont you come in here and lie to me and chris rock is the director. Cut, cut what are yall doing . What the hell are yall doing . Jayz and 50 cent, 50 and jay, hold up, wait a minute how the hell you get beyonce with those big ass lips . All right. Were going to take a break. Well be right back. Dont go away. How fast are allegra® gelcaps . Were going out in an hour. Fast. For allergy symptoms, allegra® is the fastest nondrowsy relief you can buy. Allegra® gelcaps. Not just fast. Allegra® fast. All right. Welcome back to comics unleashed. Hot chocolate. Whats the deal here . How come youre still single . Because i
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