Mo. A minibike meltdown. A great way to ditch your date. Then the whacked out top five. Weve got earth wind, and a fiery guy whos the toast of the town on whacked out sports. [ music ] today on whacked out sports, we salute those moronic will you loveable whack jobs to go toetotoe with natures forces, earth, wind, and fire. The demeanted daredevils who arent afraid to hit the ground limping if its the last thing they do. The thrill seekers whos half baked ideas turn them into flaming freaks, whether its on the land, in the air or just plain in fa washington owe weve got it and youre going to go it. Lets kick the tires light the fires and turn this mother out. All right. Nothing wrong with a little innocent skin but im in the mood for something really dirty some freaky, wet and filthy, Something Like the mud bug jamboree in black water mississippi. This annual event draws about 300 good ol boys who hall in their ladies and seven teeth between them and play in the mud. Part of the weekend is spent listening to lectures from local philosophers. You know what i think about black water . Its one big [ bleep ] [ bleep ] it is a magical love away between kissing cousins man machine and nature. Hey, you freak get a room. You know youre cool when your mustache has its own ponytail. Thats the mud bug jamboree, what the world would be like today if noah had an atv today instead of an ark. Lets come down to earth and meet couch poe at potato cutie. My dream three hot chicks hauling ass through the desert. Until my stepdad wakes me from a beautiful sleep. Thanks a lot don. How is he going to explain this to his Insurance Agent . Ski basing or skiing off a 400foot cliff with a parachute may look dangerous foolish or mental but its a safe pastime if you know what youre doing. But if jay wall slammer waller knew what he was doing would he be on our show . Those gray things look a lot like rocks. Isnt it funny how base jumping rhymes with face bumping . I didnt think so either. Lets see where jay wall slammer waller went so wrong besides hurling himself off a cliff. His liftoff was smooth, remembered his skis, but forgot to look where he was going. But i dont blame the dude for the crash i blame his parents. If they named him jay safe landing waller, this whole unfortunate incident could have been avoided. All right lets see who else is going downhill fast. You know this sounded like a good idea at the time. This guy was like, hey dudes lets go snowboard the him laya and theyre like, dude, youre a genius. Now for the first few seconds it is pretty cool but then they start falling and suddenly theyre all yeti bait. This is the snowball effect. At least they brought a video camera and they sent us the tape before they took turns crawling inside of wally for warmth. Stick around. Coming up, why we love dudes eating dirt. A blennies becomes a basket case. A visit with swamp girl, plus fun ways to lose your eyebrows. And the whacked out sports top five. Thats next on a whacked out sports special Edition Earth wi youre tuned in to whacked out sports, where todays pain package comes to you by land, by air, or personally delivered by burn ward bozos. If it can be bashed smashed slashed, or crashed if someones yelling and they cant stop the swelling, heres where youll find it. Its whacked out sports, the most insane sports bloopers show ever. Since microminibikes have been outloud, only outlaws have microminibikes. Did i say outlaws . I meant dorky 15yearolds. How better to top off a blind date with danger than with a tumbling routine. Nice roundoff mick gaylord. A spooky quarry in southern indiana. Feels like im going to come across the bodies of scooby doo and shaggy in a shallow grave. Mitchs ready for a second jump. Hes got a strange tingling sensation that somethings not quite right. Dont worry mitch thats just the onset of puberty. Its perfectly natural. Oh my, you should have listened to those instincts because these jacked up in the fetal position. Make now hell take up shoplifting like a normal kid. But hes okay and ready for more. I kid mitch but im jealous. Im still in my awkward stage and found my first gray hair in my goatee. Welcome to Fountain Valley california, for the Gordon Bennett cup race one of the most prestigious events in ballooning spitting loggies on your friends below. Looks like one of the balloons is taking off right now. Or maybe not taking off. Thats more like dragging off. Man, that is one sucky balloonist, heads up people, heads up. Okay, were experiencing a bit of turbulence but look, the balloon is finally up. Without anyone driving. Hoyleholy crap, that balloon is empty. Look who forgot to wear their seat belt. Its a tough lesson to learn but if you have to lose your 30,000 balloon in order to learn to wear your seat belt, i think its worth it. Byebye, expensive balloon. Byebye. We love hearing from you, the whacked out viewer your clips help make the show possible but sometimes its hard to tell when the tape crosses the line from entertainment to cries for help. I kick myself in the head. Take super fan rachel from charleston. The bay before day before thanksgiving, south carolina, im going boogie boarding. Some people will do anything to avoid talking to their families at thanksgiving. Ix hypothermia is a nobrainer against hearing abouty you are aunts gallbladder surgery. She is wearing a bikini and were a little light on the cheesecake this week, so this angle isnt the best, though. Yes, much better. But it still doesnt really scream sexy. Whats sexier than a country girl in a bikini out in the mud . I could give you a list but now youre sort of making us uncomfortable. You go, girl. Better yet well just move on. Coming up a human torch makes an ash of himself. These hotties win place and show us what they got. A girl gets her shot at the big spin. Plus the whacked out sports top five. Thats next on a whacked out sports special Edition Earth n7 odor foot odor . Get new odoreaters medicated foot powder. Stops foot itch and irritation. Odoreaters. No shoes. No problem. Welcome back to our without tribute to the three elements of disaster. Weve seen what earth and wind can do. Now lets jump out of the pan and into the fire. You know when you catch on fire . Yeah, you could stop drop and role but thats nor wienies. If youre going to go down in flames do it the way ted does it. Theres a man with lots of style. You could say hes got style to burn. Fuse. Never iron your suit while youre still in it. Ted learned the hard way. Now lets really turn up the heat with some smoking california hotties. We can argue all day about which one of these girls is the foxiest but only one can be the fastest. Its time for the bikini 100yard dash. In lane 1 is healther. Lane number 2 is marissa. In lane number 3 jenelle. Next to her is christy. And carrie, and finally vanessa. Rosalind down at the starting line what do you make of the field . I think theyre hot. Whoa, this is pretty disorienting. Im not used to seeing girls running this fast toward me. Usually i get the view from the other direction. Kind of hip not tick. But when the sand settled your winner was heather. Give her a round of applause, please. Call her the 100yard dish. The first thing we do each day here at whacked out sports, besides getting a coffee enema is to span the globe from backyards to the back woods to find of most whacked out clips for a segment we like to call homegrown videos. Today were in gray falls, it is gordon spot of i i michigan he is Upper Peninsula at a new competition, who can lose the most limbs first. Dont ever ever, ever try that. Yep, thats gasoline theyre pouring into that mike waive. If youre one of the lucky few who already have one of these miracle machines, you know if you put metal in it you get sparks aplenty. Gasoline plus sparks what could that lead to . The cars are on fire oh, this is going to be good. I was wondering where the future arsonists were coming from. Due notice they wisely choose to do this near a wooden structure and a forest of dry trees . All right, show us what you got. Thats it . Thats weak. Oh, yeah. So hes on fire. Big deal. Wheress pop the bang oh, my god. Never mind pop, this is the most irresponsible and ridiculous stunts ive ever seen. Here we go. Even i know thats plain suicidal. But their youthful exuberance has won me over. Next time i nuke a hot pocket, ill remember this day in michigan and this guy will remember every time someone asks him, dude what happened to your face . All right all you count down crazies. Time to set em up and knock em down with another whacked out sports top five. Today the top five things confuse never said. Number 5, the longest journey begins with single pelvic practice. Number 4, a picture is worth a thousand concussions. Number 3 man named roberts who sets self on fire will be remembered as shish kabob. Number 2 one crack per heinie is plenty. And the number 1 thing con few shuts never said, girl on left has plenty of chinese junk in trunk. Well, there you go, another countdown down for the count. Coming up, a triple takes the plunge. Its a whacked out sports love story. Thats next. Youre watching whacked out sports, the show thats taken one too many shots to the head. If you like beach babes brawling, moon doggies mauling punch drunk fugitives knocking them sieves out our knuckleheads cruising for a bruising, keep your cup on because this is a show that hits below the belt. Its whacked out sports, the [music] i love my sister. My heart doesnt see race. Love is love. Plaque is the number one problem i see. New act advanced with plaque guard kills 99 of bacteria, helps prevent plaque and gingivitis providing a shield of protection. New act advanced. Welcome back to whacked out sports where weve been braving the elements of earth wind and fire. So far weve seen couch potatoes get fried a base jumper denied, some flaming fools and the reason they invented slow mo. But thats all been sanitized for your protection because now its time for the raw passion of a whacked out love story. Looking for a great First Date Activity and your bowling ball needs redrilling . Do what Oscar Mathers did. Throw your date out of at plane. Nothing says i think youre swell like forcing her into a 10000foot free fall. This is shanna, oscars victim, i mean date. After showing her his boy scout badge in shoe packing it was time to give her the ol heave hoe. We can see him holding on to shanna the first few thousand feet to guide her free fall and grab a Little Something something on the way down. When it was time to let go and open the chutes, oscar must have been feeling pretty good knowing he scored some big points. Good job. The only thing left to do was figure out where she went. Not there. Nope, not there either. How do you lose a girl in the sky . Oh there she is. Chutes open and is she supposed to be spinning out of control like that . Shanna, shanna pull the brake didnt think so. Shanna oh, this is awful, this is horrible. He promised her parents hed have her home by dinnertime, alive. Shanna oh, boy nothing kills a date like killing your date. But for all you happy ending fans out there weve got one for you. Not only did shanna survive with a broken skull jaw pelvis and two shattered legs but oscar met her sister in the er and the two are engaged. Iracles dont happen. So there you have it our pain by the numbers portrait of mans first elements, earth wind and fire. Whether youre in the air, on land or just on fire, life has a funny way of saying, i like you but your times up. Keep thinking those good thoughts, people. I know i will. Later. Music [ music ] captioning provided by warner bros. Domestic Television Distribution captioned by closed captioning services, inc. They are the titans of xterr a, waiting for the ultimate challenge. Testing the limits of human endurance. It going beyond the pain. This is the xterra world championship. Dawn in maui. Race day is here. Time to rise. Time to shine
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