Item 42. Item 43. Willfully creating a disturbance during duty hours. Huh . Item 44. Fraternizing with female personnel. Aw, take it easy captain. The boys needed a little relaxation, they havent had a leave in months. Give em a break, captain. Oh, ill give em a break, all right, mchale. Ill give em a break right about here and ill personally tie the noose myself. Now dont you interrupt me anymore. Yes, sir. If id a known he was that mean, id have never asked him to dance. You shut your fat little mouth or ill give you a. [knock on door] come in ill sink you. Excuse me for interrupting, sir, but theres a new ensign whos just arrived and hes very anxious to speak to you, sir. I dont know anything about a new ensign. Thats all i need around here is another ensign. Item 45. But sir, sir, hes not assigned here, sir, hes not assigned here. Hes just laying over for three days until he can get a flight out to bora luna, sir. Here are his orders. Dont you understand . I dont want to see his orders i dont want to see him i dont want to know anything about this man, whoever he is ensign Roger Whitfield the third . Yes, sir. Is this the son of Roger Whitfield the second, my old boss . Well, thats what he told me to tell you, sir. Dont stand there like a ninny you bring that boy in here. You bring him in here right away my goodness, thats my bosss son. I want my job back after this war, you know. Oh, yeah, yeah. Dont just stand there, mchale tidy up tidy up help me with my coat. You standing around, nobody does anything to help me. Itsi tell you, its will you get this thing off of me, you lump every time you get near me. Put that down oh i dont have time for this brat to show up. I. Ooh hello, roger boy. So nice to see you, boy. How are you . Its a small war, isnt it . Whoever thought id bump into you way out here. Huh, bingy . Bingy. Yeah. Thats what they used to call me at the yacht club. Oh . Yeah, bingy. Goodbye, boys, goodbye. Nice of you to drop in. Whats the rush, bingy . Arent you going to introduce us . Oh, you wanna. He wants to. Uhh. This is, uh, this is commander mchale. Hi, glad to know ya. Yeah. Hi any friend of bingys is a friend of ours. I know. Well, byebye, boys so, so, youre quinton mchale, huh . Oh, ho, ho, ho i heard a lot about you from the fellas on the plane. Oh . Weve heard a lot about you, too. Yeah, boy, you shoulda heard what he said about you before you came in. I was telling them all about the south bay yacht club, roger. Yeah. Yeah. How are things at the yacht club, roger, without me . I suppose theyre just falling apart. Well, not exactly. Dad wrote me that they put charlie druten in your old spot managing the place and, uh, i understand hes doing a pretty good job, too. Charlie druten, huh . That eight ball, he couldnt manage a live bait barge. Well, if i remember right, thats what they used to say about you, too. Huh, bingy . Ha ha ha. Heh heh. Great sense of humor this boy. It runs in the family. Captain couldnt manage a live bait barge. Well, if youre gonna have a little ol reunion here, captain, well be on our way. What about the courtmartial . Oh . Dont tell me youre having personnel problems, bingy. You know dad always thought that was your weak point. Uh, your dad thought that was my weak. Im not having any personnel problems. Hmm . No no, no no, what mr. Parker meant was that the captain seldom has any personnel problems. Oh, i see. Of course there are those charges on the, uh. Uh, heh heh there are no charges here, mchale. No, no. Uh, thats on the house. Oh well, wonderful, we sure appreciate that yeah boy, listen. Any time you need a favor, boy, you can call on us yes, sir. Yeah. Heh heh. You see that . Were just one Big Happy Family yeah [laughter] big hay family say, dad, can i use the boat tonight . Byebye byebye yeah. Theyre a little eccentric, but theyre fine. Make yourself comfortable, son. Make yourself comfortable. Wont pop get a kick outta hearin that i ran into old bingy ha ha ha ha ha be sure and tell him how thrilled i was to see you. Wont you do that . Uh, excuse me, roger, i wouldnt want these dirty papers to spoil your shoes. Aw. Yoohoo, mchale yoohoo, sailor. Its me, Little Flower. Little flower . She looks like a whole hothouse to me. Shh. Why dont ya get lost . Ah, well, Little Flower. Tell me, what can we all do for the most charming daughter of the most noble chief on this island . Mchale, i here to make deal. You give me ride on pt boat, i give you pig. Heh heh heh oh, yeah, but. Thanks a lot, but, actually, we dont need a mascot right now. On our 73, huh . Best way Little Flower know how to catch husband. Here. Oh, uh, you mean run em down in their canoes . Thats a little dramatic even for leap year, isnt it . Here. Ahchoo im allergic to those things. Well, uh, Little Flower, ill tell ya. Im sorry, but we cant help you. Because if binghamton ever catches us with another girl on the boat, hell skin us alive. So, im sorry. Well. Uh. I tell you. I give you two pig well, two or 200, i. I. It just cant be done. I throw in water buffalo. Feather coat. Even pet crocodile gee, skip, a pet crocodile. Im sorry thats captains orders, and thats final. All right for you, mchale. But if i wind up old maid, all your own fault ahchoo hey, skip, cant we take just a little peek at the bosss son . Yeah, any guy that can push old lead bottom around like that. Look, i dont wanna have to hang around here any longer than we have to. But, roger, im afraid you didnt understand, boy. See, when i offered you the best quarters on the base, i didnt necessarily mean mine. Well, popll be thrilled to hear about your hospitality, bingy. Dont forget these. I gotta freshen up now, bingy. Byebye. What id say to him if only id married money. What are you pirates gawking at . Didnt ever see a man on the way to the, uh. The dry cleaners before . Hey, did you guys see what i saw . Hey, wasnt that beautiful . Hes got binghamton eating out of of his hand. Hey, mchale. Youre just the man i want to see. Ohh . Uh, what do you guys do for kicks i mean, uh, confidentially. Well, confidentially, i get a kick out of those training films the medics have been showing. Aw, knock it off you know what i mean. I mean, wine, women, song. That kind of thing. Oh, that kind of thing. On taratupa . Well, thats ancient history, sonny. Captain binghamton turned thumbs down on any more parties. Oh, really . Yeah. Well, uh, what if we can get him to change his mind . You mean, give us permission to throw a wingding . Well, you came to the right place yeah, well order us the wildest, swingingest. Stow it stow it and you can save your breath, sonny. Because caain binghamton isnt about to change his mind. Oh, really . Well, why dont we just ask him . Excuse me, roger, i forgot my toothbrush. Are you men still hanging around here, goofing off . Move out out out out all right. Lets go, boys. Go where, mchale . Arent you interested in the party . Party . What partys that . What party, what, wha. Well, my welcome aboard party, bingy. Pop always said that youd throw one for me if our paths ever crossed in the pacific. We. I. Heh heh heh that party, yes how stupid of me to forget that. Now hold on, captain now, how you can you ok his shindig, when you just chewed us out for throwin a party . Because i got four little stripes that say i can, thats how, mchale. Stripe dropper. You shut up now, uh, im going to have mchale get his boat ready. Im going to invite some of our prettiest nurses and were going off on the most fabulous seagoing luau youve ever seen. [cheers] knock it off hush far as im concerned this party is for ensign whitfield. You men are just going along as the hired help. Help . Shh. Now, roger, wont your father be happy when he hears the wonderful time that ive been showing you . Come on inside, boy, get out of this hot sun. Is everything comfy in here . [music playing] well im feeling no pain. Youre neat, baby, really terrific. Hubba, hubba. Isnt that cute. Bartender hurry up with the drinks, were running out in here. Yes, sir, ill just. Oh, hello, how are you . Hey, you clumsy oaf look what youve done thats the first time ive had this on, too. Clumsy oaf. Excuse me, excuse me, anything wrong, captain . Yes, ill tell you whats wrong. This nitwit heres trying to drown me, thats whats wrong. Well, dont just stand there, go get somo more uh, yeah, later, bingy, later. Right now i kinda figured the gals might get a few kicks outta watching me put this tub through her paces. Oh, really . Well, just back off slowly, sonny. Because nobody steers my pt boat, unless hes a qualified helmsman. Yeah, they hardly ever let me touch it. Dont worry, mchale, im qualified. Dad used to say that i could handle a speedboat better than anybody in the yacht club. Right, bingy . Oh, ah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yes. Thats what dad used to say, mchale. Yes, yes. Now, wait a minute, captain not San Diego Bay i dont care if this is tokyo bay, roger wants to steer the 73, he steers the 73 and thats an order come on, roger, ill show you where the wheel is. Ha ha is this kicks, baby, or is this kicks . Yahoo captain, i refuse to stand by while that punk plays hot road with my boat you watch your language, mchale. Youre doing fine, roger boy, fine. But, captain, these are dangerous waters. Theres no telling what were liable to run into. Boy, ill say hey, sand bar, dead ahead hey, hard a port all right, yahhhh come in. Captain this is positively the last straw. Do you realize what that little lord fauntleroy wants me to do . He wants me to put my signature to this damage report. Well, thats not a bad idea. After all, youre the one who let him take the wheel. Im gonna kill him one of these days, mchale. Now you do anything that that miserable brat tells you to do, you read me . Anything, right up until the time his plane leaves for bora luna. But, but. Captain no buts this war is not going to last forever, and i am not going to go home and manage any live bait barge. Now get outta here im a sick man and i think that dunk in the ocean gave me pneumonia. I dont know, youre tongue looks all right. Uh, does it . Good. Get your grubby hands off of me and get outta here out out out all right all right, captain, well go. But im telling ya, that if you let that playboy pal of yours get away with this, theres nothing hell stop at. Hiya, fellas say, uh, bingy, there was a note on my door that said you wanted to see me . Uh, yes, roger, im giving a little Party Tonight at the Officers Club in your honor. Sort of a farewell party. A farewell party, bingy . Yes. But im not going anywhere, bingy. Oh, havent i told ya . Stay . But hes got orders. Youre due at bora luna tomorrow. Well, thats just a formality, they dont want me, any ensign will do so, uh, you can send somebody else, huh, bingy . Well, uh, i. Who . Well, like maybe. Him. Hey, thats not a bad idea, captain. Me . Why, you little pipsqueak now watch it, mchale. Put that away. Whats the matter with you . Roger, cant we talk this over, boy . Bingy, are you going to deny a little favor to the son of a man who took you out of nowhere and could put you right back there . No, no, no, captain. Dont let him push you around. Dont let him push you around yeah, you were right when you called him a miserable brat. Yeah. Idiot. I tell you, youre a disgrace, ensign. Spreading lies like that around. You start packing, youre shipping out. Oh, now wait a minute, captain be reasonable, you just cant do this i can do anything i want. Im in charge here and you got a new exec officer. Now you get out of here get out out out, out, out ok, captain, but im warning you. Yeah, what he said come on, lets go. Well, now that thats settled, i got a tennis date. So, ill see you later, bingy. Boy, just think of what a bang its going to give dad to know that you and i are going to be together. I really want to show you something. Karen o. 1, 2, ready, go its a mystery all is love is love ow ooh ooh. [howling] announcer for great play ideas, visit www. Smallstep. Gov. Well, guess this is it. Boy, i sure hate goodbyes. What a dirty deal. Its a cryin shame. Who does that binghamton think he is . A snivelin coward, thats what all this just to save his crummy job after the war. I get so mad, i could just. Oh, doggone it ow binghamton aw officer. Bingham. I was. Sorry, uh, we didnt see you coming, sir. Here well have this off in a minute. You all right, sir . All right . Oh, oh, oh all right . Oh, yes, yes, im all right. I never felt better in my life. Whats an ear, more or less . Yes, yes. All right, captain, lets have it. You want something from us, right . Oh, uh, i. You think that i want something from. He thinks that i want something from. Yes. Ha ha all right, mchale. Letslets lay our cards on the table. I want that monster off of my base ha ha i am sick and tired of that boy leading me around by the nose. Hes lead me around by the nose long enough. Ive had enough of it, you understand me . Enough, enough, enough you know, it does look like your nose is stretching a little. Get your hands off of me. Well, that should be no problem, captain. You just transfer whitfield on his original orders, and keep mr. Parker here. No, no, no, that wont work, mchale, and his father would know that i shipped him out. Beg. You got yourself a deal, captain. Yeah, all we have to do is scare the daylights out of him. Maybe we can fake a japanese attack. Not enough. Why dont we tie him to a depth charge and. Whammo yeah, whammo skip how about this gorilla suit i swiped from the. Was left over from the u. S. O. Show . This ought to scare the skivvies off of loverboy. Nah. No, no, no, that. Hey, wait a minute. That loverboy cued me onto something. Boys, what would be a fate worse than death for a romeo like that . Beats me. I give up. Well, what else . Getting married ha ha ha ha yeah gather round, boys. Listen to this. Pay attention, will ya . How bout it, virg, everything all set . Righto, skip. The carbines loaded with blanks. The guys are all staked out and Little Flowers rarin to go. Well, afternoon, captain i see youre wastin no time in bringing over our new exec, huh . Well, cant hold up the war, you know. Yeah, yes. No hard feelings, huh, mchale . Aw, no, no, no, no. Its just like i always said, you know, uh, no sense cryin over spilt ensigns. Welcome aboard, roger boy aah help me help me aah aah aah its a gorilla yeah, it is. Chasin chief wataras daughter. Shoot, virgil, shoot. Go get. Get him, shoot, shoot oh, wait, you dropped. [screaming] [all talking at once] wait a minute dont you say. Hurry up hurry up wait a minute hold it hold it hold it i think you got some dirt in your. [growling] [screaming] thats it keep firing, son, keep firing. [gunshots] Little Flower . Little flower, are you all right . All right . This happiest day of my life you saved Little Flowers life i belong you, joe. We get married marr. Married . Is she kidding . Oh, no, no. Shes not kiddin. No, its an old native custom. Yeah. Any man that saves a maidens life, she belongs to him. Bingy, this is ridiculous. No, no, no, no. Listen, the natives take their old customs very seriously. Oh, yeah. Yeah hey listen to that theres the wedding drums already. There isnt anything or anyone thats gonna make me marry her. Hey, yeah, it looks like the new inlaws are arriving. Welcome, uh, chief watara. Greetings, o great and noble warrior. Fondue, fondue knock off small talk. Who the lucky bridegroom . This one, papa he save my life i marry him. Hmm. Welcome to family, son. Ungawa ungawa set up wedding altar. They dont believe in long engagements. You do something about this. Hmm. Not bad teeth, no caps. Grandchildren be plenty healthy. Will you take your dirty hands off of me . Theres not going to be any grandchildren, there is not going to be any wedding and will. You. Let. Me. Go . I never let you go we spend rest of lives in our own little hut uhoh the wedding wreath. Sorry, ensign, it wont be long now. Nonsense. Binghamton, im warning you, oh, yes. Yes, i will. You let this boy alone, you overgrown pygmy ooh shut face, or you end up human dartboard watch it, captain hes right. Why, if any one of these two fellas sneezes, we well, were all dead enough um gah, begora, bora tuba mani wwwhats he saying . Dearly beloved, we are gathered here. Dearly beloved . No, no, wait. You cant do this to me sorry, paleface. Sorry, paleface old native custom. Once ceremony started, got to marry somebody, anybody. Mala, mali, mali, mali. Oh, so long, skip, ill be shipping out for bora luna. Oh, thats what you think im the one thats going, youre staying here to get. Married. But i cant. Im not even engaged you are now, thats an order is that all right with you, chief . You said anybody. All ensign look alike to me. You like . Yeah, i like, i like i think she likes, she likes. Its a deal. Thank you, o noble chief. Thank. Edwards oh, yes, sir. Take ensign whitfield over to the radio shack. Yes, sir hurry, hurry, hurry come on, quick, before the chief changes his mind. Come on, lets go it worked ha ha ha im free im squashed. Well, captain, just as soon as roger leaves, our troubles are over. I wanna tell you, mchale, when you put your mind to something you. It papa oh, greetings, o great chief watara. Greetings, mchale. Who are these phonies . We were just getting ready for halloween. Yes. Yeah, you know, trick or treat well, uh, what brings you here, chief . Oh, hear wedding drums. Come quick. Give bride away, ha oh, no, papa. It is all mistake. You bet it mistake. Chief daughter dont settle for one stripe when can get husband with four. Four stripes . You mean the captain . Little flower marry you. Me . What. No, no, thats out of the question. You see, i already have a wife. What difference . Watara has eight wives. Captain have two. Well, congratulations, wally, looks like the best man won. You idiot. Congratulations you keep your daughter, nothing on earth could make me marry her, nothing easy does it, captain. Here comes junior. Its nice to be in the family, papa. Listen, my planes taking off any second, so i just. Papa . Whos he . Ah, well, this is captain binghamtons new brotherinlaw. Yeah, they wouldnt settle for me, so. He volunteered to take your place. Oh, dad and i will never forget you for this, bingy. And allow me to be among the first to say that i hope that you will be very happy together. You come here, four stripe, and hold Little Flower hand. Ungab gora. Tuva bora, tuva mani. That means, dearly beloved. Whee mchale, that pretty good fun easy does it, captain. Remember this is the deal we made with chief watara. Cheer up, at least it saved you another trip to niagara falls. Now lets see. We got a few more here. Christy. Willy moss. Right here, skip. Admiral gruber . I can dream, cant i . Boy. And virgil. Mmm not bad. Ha ha well, thats about it, boys. Well, ill be seeing you guys. I got to go home. Well, whats the matter, chuck . It says here i got to report for jury duty. Hey, my kid can say daddy your kid . You mean our kid. Were the godfathers. And dont you forget it. Yeah, dont you forget that oh, just look