[mac] well, hector, it looks like a beauty contest. Oh, boy bikinis havent been invented yet. Well, what is it, shad, some kind of a contest . Choose a girl once a year. So far mlor not win. Well thats ridiculous, mlor makes these girls look like two cents worth of ground mastodon meat. Gronk not sure if want daughter mlor to win. Oh, you say that now, but once she wins youll be telling everybody her good looks come from your side of the family. somber woodwind music pick straws . Thats a heck of a way to run a beauty contest. To pick miss cave girl of one million b. C. . [boss] mlor get long stick. Mlor win cheering whatd i tell you, miss shad . Mlor win mean will be sacrifice to dinosaur. Oh, sacrifice to a dinosaur. subdued orchestral music i dont believe it. You mean they actually put a girl out in the jungle to get eaten by a dinosaur every year . Well, i wish i didnt believe it, but i do. They seem to think that a sacrifice will keep the dinosaurs away from the village for the rest of the year. Well, if you ask me, thats a barbaric custom and shouldve been abolished a million years ago. Hector, it is a million years ago. Well, just because theyre cave people doesnt mean they have to act like theyre cave people. They cant do that to mlor. [mac] well, theyre going to do it unless we do something about it. All were doing is wearing a hole of this cave. We are going to do something about it. Were going right out and tell boss to listen to reason. Right and no pussyfooting around. Well walk right up to him, tell him that were friends of mlors, and if he doesnt let her go, well, well justwhatll we do, captain . shad humming boy, ive got to hand it to you two, you really got courage. Anybody else wouldve fallen apart. Yeah, we know how you must feel. Mac and hec, good friends. But not worry about gronk, gronk feel fine. Shad feel fine too. [gronk] tribe show gronk family big honor, choose daughter mlor. Sacrifice daughter mlor. Dinosaur not come to village. Gronk be important man. Shad wife of important man. [gronk] people thank gronk. [shad] thank shad too. Gronk have pride, gronk have respect. Gronk get everything but daughter mlor. Soon, so dead. Lets not write her obituary yet. [mac] yeah, were going over to see boss right now, and tell him the gronk family declines the honor. Hes not going to sacrifice mlor or any other girl. Say no to boss . Not can say no to boss. Boss is boss. Gronk cant break custom of fathers. Who says you cant . Suppose the custom says youve got to jump off a cliff, or put your hand in that fire, or let your daughter get eaten by a dinosaur. sobbing boss may not like it, but hes gonna listen, come on. So you see, the whole idea of a sacrifice to a dinosaur is ridiculous. [hector] and besides, a poor little thing like miss mlor would be just an appetizer to a fullgrown dinosaur. I mean, a fella would have to be pretty stupid not to realize strangers say boss stupid . clon grunts no, not you, the custom. Ah, custom of fathers good. Every 12 moon, when leaf on tree turn red, must sacrifice young girl. Yeah, but that doesnt prove anything. They might not come anyway. When boss little boy. [hector] aww. One time, not follow custom. Not make sacrifice. Dinosaurs come, break village, eat people. Captain, maybe hes got something there. Whose side are you on anyway . Strangers so smart, tell boss how keep dinosaur from village. Not make sacrifice. Well there must be a hundred ways, all you have to do is well, you could captain, you tell him, you outrank me. Right, what youve got to do is maybe i need a little time to think it over. Not time. Leaf on tree turn red. Must make sacrifice now yeah, but you poor mlor, lying on that altar waiting for youknowwhat. Well, youknowwhat isnt gonna happen if we have anything to say about it, right . [mac] little lord fauntleroy standing guard. I gotta try and get rid of him. Well, how . I dont know. Ill figure something. Hes the simple simon of the cavemen. Look, while im getting rid of him, you tell mlor the air force has come to the rescue, alright. Right. Hi there, old clon. Listen, im out for a stroll, why dont you join me . clon grunts come on, well hunt for mushrooms and toadstools. clon grunts well, lets go down to the lagoon and dig for clams. clon grunts the exercise will do you good. Settle your dinner, which sounds like it didnt agree with you. Clon not want to talk to stranger. Light crawl on ground. Huh . Oh, no thats just a yeah, shh. What mean shh . Shh, means dont tell anybody our little secret. Clon not tell anybody. Where the sun goes at night. Ball of fire go into little stick . Clon, we could use you at caltech. Listen, i like you, and im going to do Something Big for you. Something big . Yeah. Im gonna give you a piece of the sun for your very own. Open your hands. Clon have piece of sun for very own. You feel the heat . Not feel heat. [mac] oh . Maybe youre the wrong fella to carry it, youd better give it back. No, no, no clon feel heat now. Burn hands. Good, good, ill tell you what to do, you take it back to your cave, put it away in a safe place. Light went away really . Oh, well its your own fault, you let it escape. Oh, there it is. [clon] clon catch. There it is over there. Over on that other one. There it is, way back there. Clon fast. Clon get. [mac] way back, clon clon yelps water splashing well you dont understand, miss mlor, were trying to save you. Mlor not want to be saved. For petes sake, come on, hell be back any second. She wont go. Mlor not go. Mlor must be sacrificed. But dont you understand were trying to rescue you. Now come on before you become a dinosaur sandwich. Between two slices of us . Yes. Oh my. Mlor not want to be eaten. Is duty to fill it. Well ive heard of patriotism, but this is ridiculous. Come on, hes coming back, quick. Mlor thought mac and hec like mlor. [mac] we do, were not doing this because we hate you. Dinosaur come, eat mlor. Must tell boss. But cant you get it through your head . Being a human sacrifice is no line of work for a young beautiful girl. Even if you make good, what are you gonna do for an encore . Mlor not save village. Not bring honor to mother shad and father gronk. Im sure theyd like to have a lot less honor, and more mlor. Must do what boss say, cannot break old custom. Thats just what were trying to do, break the old custom. Prove that the sacrifice has nohing to do with dinosaurs. Sacrifice not keep dinosaurs away from village . Of course not, if theyre gonna stay away, theyre gonna stay away anyway. Dinosaurs arent very smart. Thats the reason theyre gonna be extinct in about a hundred thousand years. Dinosaurs and brontosaurs, all gone. Alright hector, alright. Maybe mac and hec right. Well sure. Tomorrow, when everybody sees that youre alive, and the dinosaurs havent come, theyll put an end to that custom. And then you wont have to be a blueplate special. Sure was a job convincing her, but we finally got her on our side. Wait a minute, wait a minute. Whether you like it or not. [hector] yeah. Hector, youre choking her. Im gonna keep her alive even if i have to kill her. Mlor not run away again. Doggone right youre not. [mac] and just to keep you from exercising a womans right of changing her mind, well keep you tied up. Mac and hec really want mlor to stay alive. [mac] yeah, well, lets just say were admirers of natures handiwork. This drab old world wouldnt be the same without you. Youll be safe here, well see you tomorrow. Sweet dreams. Captain, i wonder if dreams have been invented yet. You think these cave people really [mac] will you stop it . Not be sad, maybe dinosaur not eat mlor. Daughter alive, happy. Gronk really believe . No. Maybe gronk right. Mlor not dead. Come home soon. Shad really believe . No. [hector] hello folks, weve got good news. [mac] mlor is alive and fine. Shes never been better in her life. [shad] mac and hec really believe . Yeah, sure. Gronk not believe. But its true, we just left her a little while ago. Daughter mlor alive . Scouts honor. Yep, shes in a cave safe from the dinosaurs. We just left her. Good friends. When bring mlor home . First thing tomorrow morning. grunts daughter mlor like milk from coconut. Father gronk go get. [shad] must fix up cave. Have feast tomorrow. Mac and hec come . Oh wed love to mrs. Shad, we accept the invitation. Accept imitation . No, no, its invitation. An invitation is something you get to go to a party. And an imitation is what you do when you get there. Like cary grant, judy, judy, judy. Signal red, here comes boss and clon. Oh good, must tell boss good news. Oh no, no we dont want him to know about the sacrifice until tomorrow. And thatll put him in the cute little custom of fattening up the local dinosaur. Ah, shad understand. Boss come to pay honor. Clon pay honor too. Sacrifice daughter to dinosaur, very big honor. If shad had more daughters, would sacrifice same way. That talk make boss happy. Make clon happy too. Now strangers now see boss not stupid . Of course not. Youre even smarter than clon. Anybody smarter than clon. Gronk bring back plenty milk from coconut for daughter mlor to drink tomorrow. Mlor no can drink. Why not . Mlor have mouth. Gronk have mouth too, open too much. Thank boss and clon for great honor. Must sweep now, byebye. Boss go, leave gronk with great honor for dead daughter. Daughter not dead, mlor alive. Gronk mean mlor alive in heart and head. Shad and gronk never forget daughter mlor. Mlor alive in stomach too. Gronk talk crazy. Boss right. Bye boss, bye clon. Boss say mlor not alive. Well we dont want boss to know the truth until tomorrow. Oh come on, everybody, this is a happy occasion. Lets all make a toast. Toast . Yeah, thats a little custom we have on our side of the hill. Before you take a drink, somebody says something clever. Yeah, like, heres mud in your eye, or down the hatch. That not sound clever to shad. Youd be surprised how clever it sounds after youve had a couple of drinks. Heres to mlor. Somebody Say Something clever. Heres mud in your hatch. Its close. You sure mlor alright . Im sure shes alright. You can take our word for it. Shes as safe as if she was sleeping in her own bed. roaring perilous brass music boss call people of village here to see. Boss say people see. What people see, huh . People see no dinosaur. Sacrifice mlor, keep dinosaur away. Village safe, boss smart. [boss] mlor die happy. Big honor. Big honor for mlor, big honor for gronk. Something in eye of shad . No, shad still asleep this side. There, that better. Sacrifice good, must do every 12 moon, when first leaf on tree turn red. Boss, let me get this straight. You think the dinosaurs didnt come, because you sacrificed mlor, right . Boss not think, boss know. And if you hadnt sacrificed mlor, the dinosaurs wouldve come . Boss know. What would you say if we told you mlor is alive . Boss say strangers not tell truth. But we are telling the truth, you see [clon] not listen to strangers. Clon know dinosaur eat mlor. Clon watch altar, see dinosaur come. Clon not look away, see dinosaur pick mlor up. You dont say . And how close were you at the time . Not close, but see. Why not close . See dinosaur better. Sacrifice young girl, not sacrifice clon. As a matter of fact, clon didnt see anything, because not listen to strangers. Not tell truth. Now just a minute, are you calling Hector Canfield a liar . clon grunts [hector] the first thing you learn in boy scouts is to always tell the truth. He owns a drug store there. They make wonderful chocolate sodas, two scoops of ice cream and a great big cherry on top. [boss] scoffs not care about mr. Scoop and his towanbly and a lot of whipped cream. clon grunts [hector] and i wish we were back in that drug store right now. Mac and hec not lie. Mlor alive. Shad, gronk see daughter mlor . Not see, mac and hec say alive. Hmm, strangers say many things not true. Try to change good custom. If mlor still alive, strangers bring here before sun straight over head. If not bring mlor, strangers tell last lie. Wait here, well be right back, and you can put a for sale sign on that altar. And you can put that dinosaur on a permanent diet. grunts [mac] makes a guy feel good to know he struck a blow against superstition. Yeah, these cave people believe such nonsense, but not me im not superstitious, knock on wood. [mac] i dont believe in that stuff either. I bet mlor will be glad to see us, cooped up in that cave all night. Shes probably lonely but at least shes safe. Captain [mac] whats the matter . roaring mlor are yo alright . Mac, hec, help save your breath, help is on the way. Hector, weve got to do something to lure him away from that cave and fast. I know, we could get one of his dinosaur friends to play with him. One of his friends . Are you thats a great idea. Oh we gotta get back to the spaceship. We dont have a dinosaur on the spaceship. No, but we have something just as good, a dinosaurs voice. Remember that tape we made of jungle sounds . Oh yeah, the one were gonna bring back to the 20th century to prove that we really went back into time. Right, weve got a dinosaurs voice on that tape, get it . Got it. No wonder youre a captain and im a lieutenant. [mac] come on. Well be right back, mlor, dont go away. [mac] come on. [hector] the next voice you hear will be that of an honest to goodness dinosaur. If hes a little offkey, remember, pitchpipes havent been invented yet. Take it away, dino. dinosaur roaring [mac] i hope were still in time. [hector] yes, sir. Mlor, are you alright . The cave falling down mlor afraid hang in there, it wont be long now one way or another it wont be long now, captain, please turn that thing on. [hector] take it away, dino. recorded roaring nothing. Just our luck to pick a dinosaur who doesnt like company. Yeah, maybe hes deaf. Captain, why dont you turn that thing up . He got the message, he stopped trying to break into the cave. Hes trying to find out where the sound came from. [mac] it worked hes forgotten about the cave, hes walking away. Uhoh, hes walking this way. Hes running this way. Hector, we mustve recorded the mating call. Well, turn it off, sir. I cant, its stuck. What a way to go. Getting eaten by a creature thats been extinct over a million years. Hector, you wont believe this, but he just swallowed the tape recorder whole. I dont believe it. I believe it, i believe it. Thats the tape recorder inside him. I hope it gives him indigestion. Look at him go. Hes going off his rocker trying to figure it out. Hes roaring at his own roars. intense roaring what was that . Sabertooth tiger. Where . Inside him, remember . We recorded that too. [hector] i bet that one gave you chills, huh folks . That was a sabertooth tiger, just before it pounced on its prey. I sound good, huh . chuckles [shad] mac, hec . [gronk] hec, mac . [shad] mac, hec . [gronk] hec, mac . roaring i cant stand it anymore that noise is driving me nuts. Its not doing him any good either. Look at him, hes getting punchy. recorder echoing [mac] so much for the sounds from the prehistoric era. [hector] captain, how about relaxing with a little harmony now . [mac] okay, lieutenant. [hector] with a one, and a two and a three, chacha. echoed singing home on the range everybodys a music critic. Hes forgotten all about us, lets go get mlor. Mac, hec maybe boss right. Maybe mac and hec say mlor alive, so friends not feel bad. Mlor gone now, good friends gone too. echoed recorded singing dinosaur, gronk protect. Mac and hec voice come from inside dinosaur. Dinosaur eat mlor, now eat friends. Friends still alive in dinosaur . Listen, scream with pain. Boss, clon, see with own eyes. Dinosaur jump off cliff, smash head on rock, die. Daughter mlor inside dinosaur, shad sad. Mac and hec inside too. [mlor] mother shad father gronk excited embracing shad not sad, now shad glad mlor, mlor, got bad news. Mac and hec inside dinosaur. [hector] did somebody mention our names . [shad] not can be, friends swallowed by dinosaur. [gronk] hear w wh own ears. [hector] but we got out alright. How . Strangers make evil magic . No, not magic, its a tape recorder. Its got transistors, and condensers, thats enough, hector. And its got this magnetic tape with the spools. clon grunts hes kidding, hes kidding. How strangers get out of dinosaur . What we did was, we tickled the dinosaurs ribs, thats how we got out. Clon remember if ever get swallowed by dinosaur. Mac and hec sure they alright . Not leave part of voice inside dinosaur . No, i think the best answer to that would be a little demonstration, hector. Huh . Yeah, and a one and a two, and singing im afraid its hopeless, captain. Whats hopeless . When we get back home, the air force will expect us to account for all equipment. So . Well im making out a form for that tape recorder we lost, and i cant seem to get the right wording. One batterypowered tape recorder series 814, eaten by dinosaur responding to mating call. Whats the use, i was there myself and i dont believe it. I dont believe it either. laughing its about time, its about spacehello. Im mister ed. A horse is a horse, of course, of course and no one can talk to a horse, of course that is, of course, unless the horse is the famous mister ed thanks, ed. Youre a great help around the office. A man never had a better friend. Or a cheaper secretary. carol wilbur. Think ill take a carrot break