Ask me a geometry question. Im tired. I need a break. You cantlet me down. Youve helped methrough four roundsof the quizoff. The championshipsare only three days away. Its televised. Ive got tobe prepared. Alex, youre violating child labor laws. Please. I love it when you beg. Can you move those books . We need to fix dinner. I dont want to break my concentration. Why dont you go out . Heres a couple bucks. Alex sorry, mom. Im excited about the quizoff. Me, too. This morningi dropped offmy plans for the set. How did daddy like them . He didnt see them, but hell love my ideas. All right, hit mewith a literaturequestion. In act five, scene five, of macbeth, macbeth reflects on the nature of life. Quote the passage exactly. Hi, gang. Hi, dad. Alex, how you doing today . Lifes but a walking shadow, a poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage, then is heard no more. It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. He seemsa little depressed. Hes practicing for the tournament finals. What did you thinkof my set designs . Its hard to discuss them without having them here. Theyre at the office. I happen to havean extra copy right here. What a break. [telephone rings] ill get that. Hello. Just a second. Alex, its for you. Yeah. Hello. Oh, hi, ted. What do you mean you cant make it sunday . 104 temperature. So what . Its not even lifethreatening until 105. Youll make it. Come on ted. Oh, im sorry, doctor. I didnt mean to excite him. Listen. If ted regains consciousness, could you hello . Great. Just great. Ted quinn cant make the finals. Why not . I dont know. Some gibberish aboutinfectious pneumonia. Now our teamsa man short. What about Susan Aronson . Shes very bright. Shes inthe 11th grade. Each team consistsof one player from the 10th, 11th,and 12th grades. Where can i find a bright, quickthinking10th grader by sunday . Alex, i know we dont get along, in this desperate situation. Im in 10th grade. Ill be on your team. Maybe if we set ted in a glass booth, he wouldnt infect anybody. Alex, id be good. You . Yes, her. Do you think youre the only one interested in academic challenge . Yeah, i loveacademic challenges. Besides,its going to beon television. Theres an Exchange Student from brazil whos pretty bright. Could you ask some questions in portuguese . Ok. Ok, petey. One more question. Grover clevelandwas elected tothe presidency twice in 1884,and again in 1892. Who was clevelandssecretary of the treasury during his second term . Uh. Petey, i dont thinkthis will work out. I mean,lets face it. Most of the questionswill be in english. [speaking portuguese] nice try, pal. Hey, que sera, sera. Ciao. Ciao. Jennifer yes . Bring in the next guy. He wasthe last one, alex. He cant be. There must be one qualified kid in 10th grade. Theres plentyof them, but none wantedto be on the teamwith you. I cant understand that. I merely set a few simple rules. Alex, you wanted themto salute you. Im the captain of the team. They must learnto respect authority. I dont know. Ive got to think. Im sorry, elyse. Ive been revisingthese plans all day. Why are youso resistent . Im not resistent to your ideas, elyse, but theaterintheround isnt what we want. You dont like it . Im not saying that. You do . Im not saying that. Im saying its a high school quiz show, not my fair lady. Thats it the quiz will belike my fair lady. Weve got the set for it. You dont understand. Ive got to findmy eliza doolittle. A 10th graderwho knows virtuallynothing about anything. An empty vesseli can fill with my knowledge,my insight, my wisdom. Someone whose mindis a total blank. Mom, can you help me in the kitchen . Im making a snack and i forgot how the blender works. Mallory. All right, mallory. Lets turn tothe next question. Weve been doing this for hours. She needs her rest. Jennifer, i dont think you fully appreciate what an enormous task ive undertaken here. Im taking a simple peasant girl. Whose greatest prior achievement was coordinating her eyeshadow with her sweater, and im turning her into someone who could have a conversation with me. She needs more incentivethan that, alex. Lets just get this over with. Youre getting too pompous. Ok. Its a geography question. At the southern tip of chile, lies a body of water named for a famous explorer. Name this body of water. Uh. A body of water, right . Named forthe famous explorer. Come on, now. Southern tip of chile. The hudson river. Thats not right . Its the straits of magellan. You guys are still at it . Im glad youre here. We need another dry run. Weve already had five dry runs. Just one more. Were so close. Mallory named all the cabinet members. That was me, alex. Ok. We need the work. Mom, dad, do it for mallory. For a few minutes. Elyse and jennifer sit over there, mallory and alex sit here. Ill stand here. You should standon the chair. Why . According to myrevised revised plan, the moderators podiumis elevated. Well, im not sure well be doing it that way. Why not . Theres a variety of factors involved. Could you guys discuss this later . Its getting late. Its very important mallory gets some sense of what the tournament will be like. Ok, first question. In mythology. Great. Youregood at this. Remember the guywith the wingson his feet. Who was romulus twin brother . I dont knowthat one, mom. Do you . Yes. Would you liketo share it with us . Im not answering. Ive designed six good sets for this show. You were going to design a simple set. Most viewers wont have 3d glasses. Mom mom dad, please. Were on television here. Question now goes over to harding high. Who was romulus twin brother . Uh. Uncle remus. Not uncle remus,just remus. I bet he was somebodys uncle. Thats enoughfor one day. I have other planswe can look over. Actually, you cant practice too much. Oh, ok. How about interlockingplexiglass platforms. They can bepowered hydraulically. Well talk about it. Lets drill a little more. Alex, im tired. Just a couple more. Now, what do the letters thats likeskin diving, isnt it . Yes. Yes, it is. What do the letters stand for . Weve gone over this before. Selfcontainedunderwater breathingapparatus. What did you say . Selfcontainedunderwater breathingapparatus. Again. Selfcontained underwater breathing apparatus. By george, shes got it selfcontained underwater breathing apparatus and who invented it . Hi. Youre onone of the teams . Uhhuh. The harding team. Great. Good luck. How exciting. This year were the judges. Im sort ofthe head judge. Im cohead. Im the alternate head judge. Nice to meet you all. Im so nervous. Dont worry. Youll do fine. I hope so. Why are you talking with these clowns . Alex, these clowns are the judges. Hi. How you doing . Im alex keaton. Nice jacket. Like that tie, too. Probably back in style again real soon. Why didnt you say they were the judges . You didnt let me. Forget it. Lets go oversome things. You memorizedthe greek alphabet . No. Name the four galaxiesnearest the milky way. Youre making me more nervous. Take your places. Were about to start. Come on, girls. Take your places. Get harding,harding, fight ok, everybody. Just relax and forget youre on tv. Make believe nobodys watching. Lets go. Count it, andy. 5, 4, 3, 2. Good evening. Im steven keaton, the station manager here at wks. And welcome to the final round of wks high school quizoff. Lets meet our teams. On my right, the finest minds of st. Marys High School Mary catherine robbins, mary beth mcallister, and Mary Margaret dunne. And to my left, the top minds of Harding High School grover garver, mallory keaton, our judges are the champions from last year from east high school. Let me remind you that the decision of the judges is final. And now, let us begin. The first question. [buzz] its easier to answer when you know what the question is. Im quite certain ill know it, mr. Keaton. Lets begin again. Theres a body of water at the tip of southern chile thats named for the first man to circumnavigate the globe. What is this body of water . The body to the camera. Right. To the camera. The body of water. Five seconds, harding. Ma. Ma. Anyone else on the harding team . Mallory keaton. Straits of massachusetts. No, no. Im sorry. The correct answer was the straits of magellan. The straits of massachusetts is incorrect. [ring] wait a minute. The judges say close enough. Wait a minute. Im sorry. Thats the wrong answer. But, but, but as i said, the decision of the judges is final. Harding gets credit. Uh, the next question. What is the name of the military alliance the treaty of moscow. No. Im sorry. The question goes over to harding high. Alex keaton. The wa. The wa. Wa. Mallory keaton,harding high. The warsaw pact . Youre right. The correct answeris the warsaw pact. What is the longest suspension bridge in the United States . The verrazano narrows bridge. Correct five pointsfor harding. [buzz] the question was alreadyanswered, mallory. I thought you might like to know what the secondlongest suspension bridge is. No, not really. But apparently the judges do. The golden gate bridge. Now its all tied. Heres another fivepoint bonus question. How many bones in the human body . [buzz] [buzz] that was very close. I dont think i can call it. Judges . Mallory. Mallory. Mallory. Ok, mallory. How many bonesare in the human body . 206. 27 in each hand. 26 in each foot. Thats correct. Now, the final question for 10 points, which will decide the match. Masters and johnson. Are known for their research in what area . Mary catherine. Thats correct st. Marys wins 145 to 140. Thank you for being here. Good night, everybody. Alex, alex. Are you ok . Hey, alex. Alex, come on. Straits of magellan honey, are you ok . Mom . Dad, is that you . Yeah. What happened . Nothing serious. Just an attackof stage fright. You shouldve seen yourself. You looked like a zombie. You couldnt move. You couldnt talk. I cant believe it. This must be a nightmare. Its all on videotape. Oh, alex,shes exaggerating. It wasnt that bad. How did the team do . You lost,but not by much. Mallory was fantastic. She answered questionsin history, biology. You should beproud of her. We lost, huh . Yeah, but mallory ok, ok. We have 26 daysto file a complaint. The captain of the teamwas incapacitated. Alex, its over. It cant be over. We didnt win. Excuse me. Mr. Keaton. My teacher said my answer to the crusade question is correct. Whats the difference . Your team won. We want to win by more. Isnt it possiblethat your teacheris wrong . I dont think so. She really knows her crusades. Uh. Ill be right back. I was readyfor this contest. I knew everythingthere was to know. Ask me any question. Why are you like this . No. Generalknowledge stuff. History, literature. Cant you see what happened . This quizoff was supposed to be fun. Well, maybe not on this set. But you turned it into the spanish inquisition. The spanish inquisition. 1478 to 1834. Alex, see what your doing . Sorry, mom. Youre pushing yourself too hard. There is a limit to how much a human being can accomplish. Youve got to slow down. Mom, dad needs help. Those st. Marys girls really have him on the ropes. You dont look so good, alex. Excuse me. Ive been comatosefor two hours. I didnt have a chanceto freshen up. Can i talk to youfor a second . Sure. This has beena pretty rough weekfor you, huh . Its good training. If i ever have to stand up for questioning by the secret police, im ready. Kick me every timei get out of hand. Theres not enough places to kick. Im sorry. Come on. Lets go home. This has been oneof the worst daysof my life. Yeah. Why are you smiling . I knew the answers. Maybe im smarter than i thought. Maybe so. Id answer that, but i have the right to remain silent. Not bad. Not bad