[ applause ] people get very gift-conscious on days like this, and i want to thank the lady from the audience who left the long-stemmed american beauty in my dressing room. [ laughter ] although your daughter seems like a nice girl, i can't get her on the show. you were ahead of me, weren't ya? [ laughter ] by the way, if you're out here as tourists-- especially today and you-- [ applause ] welcome. all right. and if you're up on hollywood boulevard and you see a man walking along dressed as cupid, that does not mean it's valentine's day, that-that means it's murray. he dresses that way every single day. [ laughter ] well, maybe he doesn't. [ laughter ] love is in the air today. valentine's day. and remember, before you fall head over heels on love with someone you just met, remember [ laughter ] [ applause ] i always wax nostalgic on valentine's day, and i-i-- which i do occasionally. i wax several days, but especially on valentine's day. i think of my youth back on the plains of nebraska and my very first girlfriend. she was an italian girl, gina statutory. [ laughter ] i'll never forget the first time i saw gina in school. she was starring in a hygiene film called "don't let this happen to you." [ laughter ] lovely girl. [ laughter ] the, uh, farmer that lives at-- do you-do you still send valentine's day cards? is that still a thing to do? [ applause ] sure. remember the ones you made as kids with the little lace around them. the farmer that lives next door to billy carter sent billy a valentine's day card that says, "roses are red, violets are thanks to you." [ laughter ] [ applause ] you know i mentioned that day-- today is the 50th anniversary of the st. valentine's day massacre. remember that? in chicago? in remembers that-- in remembrance of that date, nbc lined all the members of its programming department up against a wall today and machine-gunned them. [ laughter ] it's kind of an in-house joke, and i think we should probably keep that in the house. [ laughter ] california governor jerry brown sent his girlfriend, linda ronstadt, a little valentine's day poem. is there a-- there's a fly buzzing around-- [ laughter ] this monologue is starting to spoil. [ laughter ] [ applause ] it's turning bad right here. what did i start to say? what was i talking about? jerry brown sent linda ronstadt are red, violets are blue, i love you, pretty lady, but i am more in love with 1980." [ laughter ] which wasn't as funny as the guy sent billy carter. well, i know you're all anxious to find out what's the latest in the lee marvin-michelle triola trial. for those of you who missed the papers today, i want to keep you up to date on these important events. apparently today, michelle triola's trial would not allow michelle's lawyer to sue. she-- he wanted to sue for an additional one million dollars. now mrs. triola's lawyer, who's a fellow by the name of marvin mitchelson, claimed that when lee marvin said, "i love you," and then said he didn't mean it, that is fraud. [ laughter ] look, everybody knows when a man says, "i love you," it is not fraud, it's temporary insanity. [ laughter ] [ applause ] [ laughter ] important news out of the way, we can go to iran and see what's happening over there. they-they just opened their first soft drink factory over there, since the new government took over. it's called the ayatollah cola. [ laughter ] and it's, uh-- it gives gas to everyone but americans. [ laughter ] [ applause ] it's really great. yeah. uh, the president is off to mexico, as you know. and, uh-- oh, he's already there. as a matter of fact, uh, president portillo of mexico took president carter on kind of a sight-seeing trip, and the mexican president showed jimmy carter the home of the former bandit pancho villa. and carter was so impressed he said, when portillo comes here, he's gonna show him the home of bert lance. [ laughter ] [ applause ] carter just doesn't say things funny. did you ever notice that? [ laughter ] you realize, of course, while the president is out of the country, the acting president is walter mondale. [ applause ] well-- oh! now here are some of the important things that walter's accomplished since carter went to mexico. he, uh-- he oiled the swivel chair in the oval office so he could swivel without squeaking. he, uh, called the maytag repair man and said, "what do you do to kill a day?" [ laughter ] and he called, uh, brezhnev-- brzezinski and told him to keep his hands off of rodeo drive. [ laughter ] between carter and mondale, it's been a political wipe-out tonight. [ laughter ] moving along to the sports news. see i jump from one subject to another. it doesn't-- if one thing doesn't work, we keep plunging ahead. former ohio state football coach, woody hayes, is in town. and he's here to discuss the possibility of a movie based on his life. i understand this afternoon woody is up at grauman's chinese theater, where they pressed [ laughter ] [ applause ] but, uh-- but i understand he's like any other tourist. he stopped along sunset boulevard-- you know, one of those guys on the street-- and bought a map of the stars' throats. [ laughter ] well, we didn't. who cares? here's the strange news item of the day. women have found-- according to a news item in the los angeles times, women have found that birth control pills in the soil will stimulate the growth of their houseplants. [ laughter ] that's-- don't ask me why, but-- it also enables your petunias to pollinate without fear of morning sickness. [ laughter ] which is a side effect. we have a, um-- a pretty good show tonight, don't we? >> yes. >> what? >> yes! >> yes, we do. be enthusiastic. [ laughter ] charlton-- >> it's a great show, john. >> what? >> it's a fine show. not just a good show. it's a fine show. charlton heston is here tonight, [ applause ] korean comic johnny yune, blair brown, and jack douglas. [ applause ] [ music ] we'll be right back. [ applause ] [ music ] [ applause ] >> we are back. crowd's in a good mood tonight. we got a good show. chuck heston, johnny yune, blair brown, and jack douglas is with us tonight. jack douglas-- if you don't know who jack is-- he's one of the crazed writers who has written for every top comedian in the business and, uh, he always uses-- brings some, uh, home movies. which are the wildest home movies you have ever seen. they make absolutely no sense at all. but jack will tell you what is happening or not happening during them. uh, from time to time-- as you know, doc travels around the country and tommy, for various things, and other guys in the band. and tommy is gonna be-- tommy newsom i'm talking about. beaumont, texas, february the 22nd for the premiere of his composition. he wrote a composition for the beaumont texas symphony orchestra and jazz band. and tommy's gonna be down there to conduct that and also play with the group. [ applause ] congratulations, tommy. >> great. >> february the 22nd. [ applause ] you be a good old boy when you're down there, tom. well, this is the time of the year, as you know-- it's only-- it's only what? february? >> um-hmm. >> and already the, uh-- the networks are planning their new television shows for the fall season. it's been rather a tough season for television. it's a tough, competitive business, because every-- as you know, last sunday all the networks programmed three big shows opposite each other. "gone with the wind," "cuckoo's nest," an elvis special. and a lot of shows get knocked off the air before they get a chance. nbc did over 50 pilots themselves, and, uh, i'm gonna give you-- i don't think these are all nbc pilots, the ones i'm gonna tell you about. but these are the actual names of new shows coming up or there's a show called "the gray panther express." do you have any idea what that's about? >> old people. >> it deals with the adventures of old people-- or senior citizens, they say. i've never liked that word. >> no. >> elderly people. at a retirement home. "father brown" is about a middle-aged priest preoccupied with detective work. [ whistles ] i don't understand some of these at all. "ifr" is an institute staffed by volunteers who help victims get non-violent revenge. [ laughter ] i think it's called-- ifr. i think it's the international force for retaliation or something. "golden gun." the saga of a hero on a white horse who fights off the bad men. [ laughter ] [ whistles ] that sounds original. "sloan of the secret service." it's about an art dealer who's actually a james bond type of agent who, like his pop before him-- his pop-- is chief operative of a secret government to the president. "jackie's girls" deals with femme flyers in world war ii who perform missions on both sides of enemy lines. how many lady flyers did you know in world war ii? [ laughter ] >> not too many. >> there's a show called "harper and company." it's about four men in a club med type resort who team to solve crimes. "doctors and nurses" deals with the lives and relationships of doctors and nurses. [ laughter ] >> oh. >> and is done with humor. where hijinks often ensue, probably. here's one. "whodunnit?" >> yes. >> now guest-hosted by ed mcmahon. >> yes. >> it's an american version of a british comedy quiz show. >> yes. >> ah, that's going on in the fall? >> apparently, yeah. [ applause ] >> ah-ha. you're the only one who got a hand. [ laughter ] doctors and nurses got nothing. ed got a hand. here's one here. "every stray dog and kid" is gets out of prison and adopts six teenage boys. [ sigh ] these are for real folks. "crash island" deals with a plane which crashes over a mysterious uncharted island where the survivors set up a makeshift society. here's one. i don't wanna miss this. "blue collar" deals with a house painter whose family includes his wife and five children. [ laughter ] how can you get 13 weeks out of a guy painting a house? [ laughter ] "good time harry" is about a newspaper man who is a rogue who returns to his native san francisco trying to get back the job from which he was fired. "gossip" is a gang comedy-- that's what they call it-- taking place in the office of the national gossip, about a couple of newsmen trying to make a go of the publication. "yu." i think this has to do with johnny yune, doesn't it? this is spelled y-u. about a korean detective who works in the beverly hills area while working as a comedian as a cover. [ laughter ] that has to do with the young man who is with us tonight, johnny yune. now here's one. this is my favorite. when i read this one-- "king tut's best friend." [ laughter ] this is about an 11-year-old boy who gets a pyramid for his birthday and travels back in time to egypt where he befriends king tut. [ laughter ] sure, you laugh, but that's going on, folks. well, now. if you're laughing at those-- for every pilot that is made that goes on, there are probably 30 or 40 that do not make it at all. we have some stills, some photographs, from some of these unsuccessful new shows. >> never before seen. >> never before seen. and these shows probably will not be on the air. unless-- well, unless some of those others-- >> yeah. >> like the house painter doesn't make it. you watch the monitor. for example, here's a-- here's one about a new detective series called "lieutenant columbo [ laughter ] it's about a detective who arrests criminal animals. [ laughter ] here we see lieutenant columbo busting a tortoise who was caught smuggling in 200 pounds of columbian lettuce. [ laughter ] a new show called "three is enough." [ laughter ] a situation comedy about a mother and father who have never allowed their son to go to school or to have a job. here we see the son about to face his first challenge in life-- walking downstairs and getting the mail. [ laughter ] here's a show-- a new show called "the fat angels." [ laughter ] they, uh-- they solve any crime that involves stolen food. [ laughter ] and in its very first episode, they sit on a taco bell stick-up man and crush his enchiladas. [ laughter ] from the studio that brought you "hello, larry" comes "goodbye, helga." about a girl who works in her here you see helga just as she was caught making an obscene proposal to a jimmy dean pork sausage. [ laughter ] a new show-- we're getting back to the old musical shows. "uganda city music hall." [ laughter ] musical variety show which features the precision dancing of ugandan chorus girls led by their choreo-- choreographer, idi amin. [ laughter ] here they are at the end of the can-can number, where they kick a missionary to death. this could be-- [ laughter ] from the producers of "the six million dollar man" comes another super hero, "graffiti man." [ laughter ] he has only made love once in his life to a bearded lady. on his back, he has the phone number of every easy woman in buffalo, new york. [ laughter ] he makes $60 a week sitting at a men's room in an iowa truck stop. [ laughter ] "greatest crimes of the century." [ laughter ] here you see psychopathic criminal gary o' shaughnessy, up on innocent ladies and stealing the tongues out of their shoes. [ laughter ] he's-- didn't get on. [ laughter ] "laverne and mildred." [ laughter ] this show's about two elderly women who work for a brewery in milwaukee. here we see them on saturday night taking turns wearing a dead stray dog around their necks. [ laughter ] that's why you're groaning, then. it didn't make it. "way back stairs at the white house." [ laughter ] here we see the servants about to protest what billy carter did to a bush in the rose garden and-- you've seen "love boat" where love blossoms on a cruise ship and "super train" where adventures occur across a cross-country train? now comes "action closet." [ laughter ] all romance takes place inside a janitor's storage closet. here you see the despondent janitor hanging himself because his eureka vacuum cleaner refused to put out. [ laughter ] weird. i know. "the gladiator game." um, you can see how long you can last inside a hungry lion's cage wearing hamburger scented deodorant. [ laughter ] "birthday billy." a new show. billy makes a living counting birthday candles for very stupid children. [ laughter ] each week he goes to a different house. "candid surgery." a series where beverly hills plastic surgeons are shown on hidden camera operating on unsuspecting patients. here you see the gabor sisters just before their facelifts. [ laughter ] so cruel. what is this one here? ah! because of the success of the movie "superman," they came out with a tv pilot called "super slob." [ laughter ] by day, a mild-mannered reporter. at night, he becomes the man of cholesterol. his x-ray vision allows him [ laughter ] "the little tramps." [ laughter ] a series about midget hookers who prey on sailors who have 24-minute shore leave. [ laughter ] and-- look, these are-- these are not all winners, but that's why i'm showing these to you. another spin-off of the movie "animal house." this one called "animal car." in this episode, titled "moon express," [ laughter ] the beta phi's attempt to ruin a chevrolet's seat upholstery. that-- that's what they do. [ laughter ] and that's why they didn't get on. [ applause ] >> didn't make it. >> they didn't make it. >> didn't make the schedule. [ laughter ] >> okay. [ applause ] we'll be back with chuck heston, johnny yune, blair brown, and jack douglas [ applause ] [ music ] [ applause ] >> thank you, doc. list of new shows that i was talking about, this young gentleman is going to have one of those. it's called "sergeant tku," and, uh, he's from korea. he made his, uh-- started with us on "the tonight show." we found him playing a comedy place called "the horn" in santa monica, and he'll be opening at the las vegas hilton with steve lawrence and eydie gorme march 6th for three weeks. and, uh, his new series is going to be aired soon. would you welcome, please, johnny yune. johnny? [ music ] [ applause ] >> herro. [ laughter ] i'm a comedian from korea. you know, in korea, i was a very boring guy. but in america, i play backgammon, and i hang out at discotheques, and i know my sign. [ laughter ] now i'm boring in two countries. i come from a poor family. you know, my parents couldn't afford to have electricity and they used to feed me and my brother garlic so they could find us in the dark. [ laughter ] ever since i was a little kid, i always want to come to america, and i learned a little bit about america. and i admire president george washington most. one of the reasons is that, um, he never blamed his problems on the previous administration. [ laughter ] [ applause ] lincoln. i love lincoln. i couldn't wait till i come to this country and drive one. [ laughter ] but i-- now i live in hollywood. hollywood's been very good to imported shirt. they all from korea. [ laughter ] did you ever reach into your pocket and pull out a little piece of paper that says, 'inspected by number 14"? that's my brother. [ laughter ] and hollywood is tough, also. you know, when i become an american citizen, i wanted to get rid of my accent. so i went to speech teacher. i said, "how can i get rid of my accent fast?" he said, "go back to korea." [ laughter ] [ applause ] you know, it took me six months to get my agent. when i first met him, he said, "what do you do?" i said, "i'm a comedian." he said, "comedians are a dime a dozen." i said, "but i'm different. i'm an oriental." then why didn't you say so." [ laughter ] and i just bought pair of siamese cat, and i paid $375 just because they got the most beautiful blue eyes. i pet them on their head, their contacts fell out. [ laughter ] and i also bought lots of plants. and my friends told me if i talk to plants, they'll grow taller and fast. and i been talking to my plants. [ speaking korean ] [ laughter ] they turn yellow. [ laughter ] [ applause ] [ applause ] [ laughter ] now i have one plant left. a venus fly trap. it ate my zipper. [ laughter ] you know, i, um-- i'm kind of excited about new friendly relationship between america and red china. but, you know, uh, i have one thing that i don't understand. i read an article in a magazine that says, um, chin-- china is buying american x-rated movies for sex education for chinese people. now a country with 950 million people need a sex education? [ laughter ] they don't need a sex education. what they need is food. in fact, the chairman mao was wrote a letter to, uh, russia asking for help. "send us grains, we're starving." russia replied, "we're sure of grains for ourselves. tighten your belts." mao replied, "send us belts." [ laughter ] you know-- [ laughter ] you know, because of this new situation between america and red china, russia is a little bit worried, because they feel that they're being isolated and they decided to go easy on things. and, for the first time in history in russia, they decided to give russian people freedom of speech. in fact, recently, russian newspaper "pravda" ran a contest for best political jokes. first prize got 20 years. [ applause ] but, you know, it's impossible to understand politics. i don't worry about it. i'm very happy living in america. and i'm a single guy, you know. in fact, i went to singles bar the other night. i met a girl and she said to me, "you know, i have never made love to a korean guy." i said, "me too." [ laughter ] thank you. [ music ] [ applause ] >> good to see you again. we'll take a break. we'll be right back. [ applause ] [ music ] [ applause ] >> doc. we're talking with johnny yune. and we have charlton heston, blair brown, and jack douglas with us. in korea, right? >> yes. >> when did you first come here? >> 1962. >> '62. you know, you're one of the few-- well, you're the only korean comedian i think i, uh, i've ever known. and the only other oriental i can remember is-is pat morita. >> yes. >> who, uh-- who does comedy. are there-- are there other successful oriental comedians who have made that transference to this country? >> uh, not that i know of. >> yeah. do they-- now this still seems like a silly question. obviously, they have comedians in korea. >> yeah, but you see, uh, it's a tough job. >> yeah. [ laughter ] because-because of the political situation and what you can say? >> yes, because, you see, wh-- uh, where i come from, um, when you laugh at someone, it's an insult. [ laughter ] so, um-- >> i see. if you laugh, that's insulting. >> and also you have to be careful what you say. >> because of the political, uh, situation there? >> yes. >> yeah. >> politics is a very, uh, very strange game, and i can never understand politics, you know? >> nobody understands it really. >> like, uh, sometimes you become hero, sometimes you like, uh, i-i don't know if you remember the, uh, korean politician korean rights leader, chung-shin pak? >> oh, yes. >> you know, he's back in korean now. he's a hero in korea, as a matter of fact. and they want to come out with a chung-shin pak sandwich. yeah, you eat it under the table. [ laughter ] >> now, who did-- now, if some comedian did a joke like that in korea-- >> yes. >> what would happen? [ laughter ] >> in korea. well, i will never s-- i mean, it's very difficult for me to say what's going to happen. >> but they wouldn't find that amusing? >> oh, uh-- >> they wouldn't find that-- >> not really. uh, well, they'll have to learn about the comedy. >> right. >> sooner or later. because you'll have to catch up with the rest of the world. >> right. >> you can't live all by yourself like china. even china has open-- opened the door. >> right. >> now you can't remain communist. i-i tell you, you know, politics always mixed me up, because i read an article in "l.a. times." this is an article-- it said, "in capitalism, man exploits man. in communism, it is the other way around." [ laughter ] >> confusing. >> yeah. it confused me, you know? like, uh, i truthfully-- i lived under communism once. >> right. >> and i know what communism is. i mean, i used to sing through my nose because i was so afraid to open my mouth. [ laughter ] and in communist country, you don't watch television, because television watches you. >> yeah, that's a whole different thing. >> and, i remember, my father said, uh-- uh, i'll never forget this. "a communist is someone who has nothing and willing to share it with you." [ laughter ] >> did your whole family come to this country in '61? >> no. i-i'm still all by myself. >> yeah. >> how did you decide to make the move? i don't think i ever asked you this. >> well, i came as a, uh-uh, exchange student. >> yes, i went to-- i was in the university. >> did you speak any english >> poquito. [ laughter ] >> un poquito. you're obviously from south korea. >> yes. yes. >> un poquito. [ laughter ] your show, tku, was supposed to have premiered a little earlier, right? then it was pre-empted by-- what was that called? >> yes. it was scheduled to be on the air last january 24th and it got preempted by, um, uh, republican senate minority leaders speaking against mr. president's union address. and they didn't realize that senate minority was killing this minority. [ laughter ] >> that's right. you're a minority. you're a minority too. so, uh, it's due on coming up, uh, coming up soon? >> yeah, well, they tried-- nbc's doing their best to, uh-uh, get it on the air late part of march. >> yeah. >> and i hope i get the air date soon. >> you play a detective. and, uh-- >> moonlights as a comedian. >> uh, ye-yes. >> you understand moonlighting? >> moonlight? >> an extra-- >> i'm not related the reverend moon. no, no. [ laughter ] moonlighting means an, uh-uh, extra job. kind of a cover. >> yes. i'm a korean exchange detective, and, um-- [ laughter ] from exchange student to-- >> yeah. >> and i, you know, i moonlight as a comedian when i'm off duty. >> right. now everybody assumes because somebody is an oriental and is a detective, you are skilled in the martial arts. whether it's kung-fu or karate or jujitsu or any of that. >> oh, i know kung fu. >> did you-- did you study that? >> i once step in it. >> no, no. not that. [ laughter ] [ applause ] i'll just sit here and play straight for you. [ laughter ] do-- do you use any of the, uh-- >> i-- yeah, i studied-- >> aikido? is there-- is that another one? >> no. i studied -- koreans study the art called taekwondo under the master jun chong on wilshire boulevard. >> really? >> yeah. >> you're not making this up now? and then, uh, i don't-- >> what was that art? what is that martial art? >> taekwondo. that's the korean style of karate. >> ah. >> and i can protect myself from, uh, especially like, uh, a flasher. [ laughter ] >> yes. >> you know, it's very easy. like, the ladies who-- when you're a flasher, you protect yourself like-- you know, flasher opens like this? >> yeah. >> and then you go... [ screaming ] [ laughter ] >> oh, yes. well, that would do it, all right. you know, you surprised everybody on this-- you surprised everybody on this show one night, because you were sitting here and you sang-- you said you had just sung at a bar mitzvah or something like that. [ laughter ] or you-- or didn't you get up and do a-a yiddish song? >> yes, i did a hebrew song once here. >> yeah, a hebrew song. and you have this beautiful singing voice. >> thank you. >> and we ask tonight if you'll do something for us, because you-you sing beautifully. >> i would love to. >> you'd like to do something? [ applause ] but, uh, i can-- i can only sing the song that my mother used to sing it for me. is that all right? >> sure. sure. [ applause ] [ music ] [ singing in italian ] [ laughter ] [ music ] [ music ] [ applause ] >> thank you. thank you. [ applause ] >> really good. [ laughter ] yeah. >> thank you. [ applause ] >> you've come up-- you come up with more surprises. next time in french. okay? [ laughter ] >> you have it. >> okay. we'll take a break. chuck heston is with us. [ applause ] [ music ] [ applause ] >> we're back. this book i'm holding is called "the actor's life" which is a-- an illuminating account of charlton heston's career and a commentary on some 20 years of movie-making. chuck opens this friday here at the ahmanson theatre in one of the great plays, "a man for all seasons." would you welcome, please, [ music ] [ applause ] are you ready to go? >> now i want to make one thing clear from the start-- >> you're ready for a game anytime, aren't ya? >> nope. now you know perfectly well i do not come on "the johnny carson show" in jogging suit. i just came from a matinee and, as soon as i finish, i'm going to eat my sandwich and go back to the theatre and do the evening preview. >> that's right. >> and this is the kind of thing you wear, uh-- >> that's right. >> between shows. >> you are now in the preview rehearsals. >> but i'm not putting down the johnny-- i wear a tie, don't i? >> i know that. >> okay. just so we got that all squared away. >> just thought you were ready for a-- knowing-knowing how much you love tennis, i figured you're just ready any time. >> yeah. that too. >> yeah, i'm glad to see you. i have not seen you since the night, as you know-- a few weeks ago, i mced a dinner for the march of dimes for your good friend, greg peck and george burns was on the stage. it was the jack benny memorial award. and you were supposed to be there, but you had a-a rather not only were you involved in the play rehearsals, uh, but that was the day, if you remember it in the news, that a rather disturbed lady, uh-- >> oh, yes. >> had hijacked a plane and in new york and had demanded to see a couple of people in the motion picture industry. your name was one of them. i think jack lemmon was another. >> jack lemmon. yup. >> it was something to the effect-- that there had been a note left in a twa terminal-- >> that was the proposed scenario. turned out not to be the case, but-- >> and you were supposed to-- you were supposed to go there and read this to the nation or something. what-what-what's the story? >> well, i didn't mind that so much, but as we were-- the fbi fellows came and picked me up at the rehearsal down at the ahmanson. and, as we were racing up the free-- up to lax, why they handed me a bulletproofed vest. [ laughter ] and that made me a little nervous. [ laughter ] but i must say, um-- >> 'cause they didn't know that there'd be some conspiracy or something. >> yeah. they-they thought-- they said we have to point out to you that now, of course, i really did nothing but sit there for six hours while the fbi negotiators talked to the lady on the airplane and on the ground at kennedy. >> but at the same time, you put yourself in a-- in a certain amount of jeopardy. let's be honest. >> well, it was nothing-- i really made no contributions, johnny. honest. honest to pete. but i did-- it did give me an opportunity that i think was valuable to me. >> i would have sent a guest host if they'd have called me. >> yeah. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> not that i'm chicken, but i think i would have called david brenner or john davis and said, "hey, guys. how would you like to go out to lax in a bulletproof--" >> burt reynolds. why not? yeah. >> don't tell me you weren't a little bit concerned now. you gotta be in those things. >> well, a little bit. but, uh, those fellas are very-- >> they know their business, don't they? >> they know what they're doing. and at a time when the fbi has come under a lot of criticism from people with varying degrees of qualification to criticize-- >> right. >> it was interesting to sit the dedication, intelligence, moderation, and responsibility with which they ran the whole thing. and as a-- from my situation, involved in it and as a taxpayer, i was impressed. >> right. the end of that thing wasn't-- they never-- yeah. [ applause ] once in a while it's not bad to, uh-- the end result of that entire thing-- the-the-the note was never found, as i understand, at all. or any-- anything to re-- >> no. the-the lady's story that there were accomplices at lax waiting with a note and with undisclosed instructions for me to read a message to the world were an invention, but-- >> yeah. >> uh, of course, they had to take it-- as was her statement that she had nitroglycerin in her purse. >> you'd have to assume, uh-- >> but you have to assume >> yeah. it was a very testy situation to be in. um, that it worked out. i think another member of our profession deserves some credit too. on the plane. and he was right in the middle of it, and he entertained the passengers by playing his guitar, well, to keep them-- >> 'cause they sat on the ground for, uh, quite a number of hours. >> oh, six hours. >> without really informing them of what was going on. i think they told them, so as not to, uh, disturb them, that they-- >> theo-- theo paid his dues. >> and he got up and >> that's great. i didn't know that. >> of course, i talked to him on the phone. he said, "what are you gonna do?" he said, "if i had been a doctor, i would have gone around taking everybody's blood pressure." [ laughter ] supposed to do. >> yup. and thank you for coming tonight, because i know you're in rehearsals for a-a very tough play. >> well, it's tough, johnny, but it's so-- such a rich piece to work on. "a man for all seasons" is-- there's been no-- it was written in 1959. >> robert bolt, right? >> there's been no play written since, i swear, that comes close to it. it is a more meaningful play now than it was when it was done, when paul scofield created the part. went on to do it brilliantly on film, but-- >> right. it's a test for an actor too, isn't it? >> it's a test for an actor, and an audience. >> yeah. >> i-i did a matinee. it was-- i'm not tired. >> i'm looking forward to the evening. i'm looking forward to the run. it's a rich, rich piece. >> good. when it goes well and you've got the material, isn't it funny how all of a sudden it's not tiring? >> but if you're in something that is not working, >> 'cause then you've gotta do all the work. >> that's right. let me interrupt a second. we'll come back and talk about [ applause ] [ music ] [ applause ] >> we're back. we're talking with, uh, chuck heston. you know, you were one of the-- one of the actors among others that i know-- that set aside a-a certain time out of motion pictures to, uh, to play the boards, as they say. to go out in the theater, because it's a stimulation. it gives you a chance to expand a little bit and, uh-- >> different kind of problem. different kind of, uh, responsibility. >> and work at that craft of acting. >> yeah. you bet. >> and very often a lot of people who are predominantly motion picture people are a little reluctant to do that because it kind of-- they feel that it opens up them to and critics have been-- as you know-- >> yeah. >> over history have been almost super-critical of "movie people" who work legitimate stage. even though-- that you have done this before. does that bother you at all? laying your self open to the critics? to say, "okay. here's chuck heston--" >> well. a couple of actors have asked me that. but all you're risking is your vanity, johnny. >> right. >> and maybe that's a healthy thing to do every so often. i mean, what's going to happen? if-if a critic doesn't like what i do, does that mean i'm not going to get a job or something? no. of course not. >> no. and that doesn't mean that the audience or other people don't like it. that's only one man's-- >> right. i remember the marvelous thing laurence olivier said to me once. i did a play with him some years ago and it was a flop. and then we're commiserating with one another when the notices come in, and i said, "well, i guess you have to learn to, uh, dismiss the bad notices." and he said, "chuck." he said, "that's easy." he said, "what you have to do-- this is much more important-- is to learn to dismiss the good ones." >> there's a lot in that. you always gotta read 'em. >> yeah. >> everybody is very quick to believe the flattering things about you, you know. say, "boy, that man is really right." >> forget those too. >> if somebody says he's bad, they say, "hey, he's crazy." what's the nicest thing somebody has ever said about you as-as a critic? >> well, uh, i think the nicest, uh, review i ever had as an actor was not from a professional critic. but my second picture was a picture about the circus for cecil b. demille. >> "the greatest show on earth." >> "greatest show on earth." >> sure. >> it won the academy award. jimmy stewart, dorothy lamour, betty hutton, cornel wilde. they were all very good and the circus was marvelous and, you know. and mr. demille showed me a letter after the picture-- after the academy awards, you know, and some woman had written to him and said how much she'd liked the picture and how good betty hutton and jimmy were and everything. and she said, "you know--" 'cause i played the circus manager, and she said, "you know, that circus manager fit in very well with the real actors too." that's-- you can't beat that. >> no. >> that's the best notice i've ever had. >> that is sensational. >> that's sensational. yeah. >> that is sensational. look, i know you have to go back. you have another preview performance tonight, and then officially you open for seven weeks? >> seven weeks. tomorrow. >> seven weeks at the ahmanson theatre. i suppose you'll do what? seven shows a week? >> uh, eight. >> two on wednesday? >> got two on, uh, wednesday. two on saturday. and sundays off. >> that's a full schedule. >> but it's gonna be a rich time. i hope a lot of people-- i hope you'll be able to come out, johnny. >> i'd be delighted to come down. >> okay. >> i promise you i will be there. thanks, chuck, for coming. 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