Besides when you get to when you've had enough to much more likely to yell and scream and say things that can go to confession form. The suggestion is. A way to look at the looking. To live only bringing justice from all over the world we are ready for guests the late who has been a respected resource for our ego bt unfairly in the area of spiritual discernment and. Action for a number of years he done mainly t.v. Series and he's written numerous books on the nation's spirituality and his newest book is practical help to spiritual directors as well as to those who trust them. Only to learn how to do this. Will especially in the middle lives difficult decisions so please welcome the author of the head book respect to directors and a nation guide for company in discernment of God's will Father Timothy. I want you. And you back really is that the light this is been a wonderful area for you to. Teaching about spiritual direction and the ignition type of spirituality you're not just with of course yourself known to different order and play I mean oblate of the Virgin Mary right but our main task is to spiritual formation in the nation mode right so the Jesuits have this and do many things we are for this yes that would be a summary and of course to society Jesus my older Jesuits and your world are the objects of Virgin Mary I think there's no opposition to the lady in a lawyer. Doing this and as our founder said in founding us there will never be enough never enough people doing this work it's so needed in a church and this is so absolutely true because I hear. Any questions from people how do I find a spiritual director what to my to how can I get some to. And in my life. First of all tell us a little bit about what the role of the spiritual director is in the life of somebody trying to play God's will. The key thing is this person's relationship with God Here is a human person and here is the divine person and the human person has discovered that he or she is loved that's the core of the whole thing we love because He 1st loved us as he was the pistol 1st of all so that when what happens is that whether because we're blessed to have this from birth in a family that raised us in the faith or whether as can also happen we learn this later in life a point comes when a person realizes I'm in this world because I'm loved I've been known from eternity I've been given life it is certain time and in a certain place and in a certain set of circumstances because I've been loved from all the turnitin and I've been given a choice I've been given a mission that is unique to me. I think is a sadist of John Henry Newman's famous meditation that so often quoted you know God has created me to do him some service that he is not interested to another I am necessary to his purpose I have my mission which are powerful words. As soon as you see that I am loved and God the One who loves me have split me into this world to do him some special service which he has not given to another but that's when the desire for discernment arises because of course I want to do that. And I know the stakes you know when the angel came to Mary there was no other Mary waiting in the wings if Mary had not said yes things would have been very different when God enters into the life of Francis of Assisi Francis pulls back the history of the church would be very different and in less dramatic invisible way. Is that equally true of all of us so once a person sees this and there awakens in a person's heart it is higher to respond to love with a capital l. With our own love and that's what doing God's will is all about love we grow in love when our wills grow closer in communion of well as grows. Then a person wants help so that we know that we're solidly on track toward finding that will and that's where the interest in spiritual direction arises I think. We can or emphasize enough. What a distinctive view of existence and life this is. In our society so many people seem to be aimlessly or they are so full of grade to believe that God loves them from all eternity and loves them infinitely. People say well that's like say McLaws and God is real they're afraid and there's an aimlessness about so many people who don't sense there's a purpose that only I have I am now caught in a machine. I have a distinct role to play and nobody can play it and God put me in this period of history to do that mission for now. That is a completely different worldview than the aimlessness that leads I think. His whole life net commits suicide until the end of his life when he converted back to Christ and his Catholic faith. That you you've touched on well that's using nation language what you touch on there is Ignatius is principle and foundation that's the deep truth and that's why it's so important obviously we don't start with this turn into a sermon is not the 1st thing in the spiritual life discernment awakens as a fruit of evangelism and then Caddick he says when we discover again where they were given this through our parents and here early years of our lives or we learn this at some point in God's providence in our journey that there is a savior there is a God who loves me and has meaning and a purpose for my life and then we grow in that through the life of sacraments and prayer and learning more about the faith then discernments the flower discernment is the blossom that I think grows on that flower. And it's the difference between and I say it with great reverence because I know the pain as you as you just say now in people's hearts when there is no purpose in my Yeah and even more when there is suffering and there's hard to find any meaning in this are praying and of course you know we see it around us and again I say that with great reverence. Everything changes when we know the truth of it now as you say it's faith it's the gift of faith Savior and for that we have that ignition again and say Our part is to dispose ourselves to receive that gift but it is a gift when you say dispose Because that we use dispose. Reference to trash. Ignatius to know that you know what is the promptly disposition would mean by disposing those cells in the proper disposition so disappointed you know you mean in this I am sure it is because it's your own. And that is the stance of the heart that is available that is open it is seeking as they say this what comes to mind is is St Edith Stein before she. It was given the gift of faith she was a seeker she wanted truth and she was ready to follow it wherever it would take her so that's our part is to be open and available and looking and ready to receive the gift when God gives it in that sense it again speaks about him is it honest it's so much what you said earlier that God loves me is so he loves me and what he will it's for me is better than what I want for myself or my parents will it for me or the people I live with well for me my friends don't want for me as much as God does so I make myself available full God bless and it's going to be better. For some 40 to do your will is my delight which is a beautiful thing yes and it's the truth what is done to famous line you know in your will is our peace and others who have fallen in and I was struck in his will is our peace and when you see this in people's lives when they have sought God's will which is discernment and now know what God's will is a great energy is released doubts are jettisoned and the person is free to go forward and this is what I love and working in this area with people when you see people set free to love God because now they know the way it's clear to them and they can put all their energy into going forward toward it and it's such a happy way to live and that's a happy way to live which is you know I never ever intended to get into all this work with discernment. I got into it because when I 1st started speaking in very simple ways about it was the great hunger for it that drove all of these people kept wanting more and more and more and more and that's how all of this has developed so it's a huge resource in people's lives Yes exactly and this. It's one of those amazing things even when you have a certain amount of difficulty in even suffering. There is still peace and it surely it comes from following this will of God in saying I'm part of my loved one my beloved. Play in the universe for me personally to know that I am where God wants me to be. That's the basis of Dante says in that is our peace and that is our strength will withstand as the basic principle does somebody goal about this journey. The will of God What do you have to do to start learning to live. To. Be calculate tell if it's just me talking myself or if I'm listening to got. I think the 1st thing is to clarify the different situations because we face a lot of different choices in life and the person who wants as Paul says that Jesus be Lord in his or her life. In everything once in all that we do to be moving where God wants us to go so sometimes many of the choices we face are between a good thing and a bad thing and obviously discernment is very clear but that to be honest or dishonest or faithful to vows or so on yes so that if they will trying to destroy whether I should commit adultery against my wife. Either too much to serve and to really. Know that and so the discernment in those don't do it just so it's clear it's. The discernment is very clear when ever the choice is between a good thing in a bad thing however it may take courage to follow through on that a sermon so I don't want to pass by those choices too easily because it can be pretty hard sometimes and I'm in grace and courage to go forward even though the discernment is pretty clear in the situation now that already answers the question of discernment in a great many choice is ever going to face and life. There is another set of choices that we can face when the choice is now between a good thing and another good things and now we're getting into the area that we generally think of when we think of discernment. Even example of a couple of different goods and would have to destroy all right so let's be specific to this point let's say Here is a mother of 3 young children. Whose life is very busy obviously and she has a talent for singing. And as Holy Week is approaching the pastor approaches or you know is that she's the devout faithful parishioner who loves the liturgy and she has this talent and he asks her if she would be willing to leave the singing for the Holy Week services. This woman faces a choice her energy is pretty well absorbed just in meeting her commitments in the love and care for her children her family life her husband her marriage. Is it God's will that she take on this additional good things so the choice is between a good thing and another good thing. She will discern her answer following this criterion she knows that the duties of her state of life inherent in her role as mother and wife are clearly God's will for her if she can do this additional good thing and still maintain her full attention and care and love for those duties every state of life and she may discern that God is asking her to do this if she sees that she even though this is a very good thing and she would love to do it in this case she could only do that at the price of being limited in some way in her presence to her marriage and her family in the way that she needs and she knows that it's not God's will for her to do that the same discernment could look very different let's say 15 years later when the children are more grown up or maybe. Another family member has come to live with the family and could help with various things and so on so the criterion here is when the choice is between one good thing and another good thing. One good thing which clearly is God's will because of the person's vocation and the duties of the state of life it is earned and the other depending on whether we can do that compatibly. But 1st if I'm saying it clearly and you. Know the way to think of it. We. Assume in this case she's already in this location to marriage and that includes her motherhood. And that's a primary vocation within this life there are a number of good asks and some of them are more basic to the vocation to marriage. A more professional would that be sure to put in that taking care of dependent children who take care of themselves is closer to the core of her vocation. Whereas something like singing at church is a good. But it's not as close to the core of her vocation Yes this is necessary and the other is not necessary but it could be an additional good if it's compatible with what is necessary so Another example might be a pastor who is invited to lead a 2 week old image to the Holy Land and he'll just turn in the same way it is God asking this of him what will happen in the parish he's gone for those 2 weeks except just so it's the same same principle that guides that set of choices. And there's another set of choices which are what I'd call just the small daily choices . So let's say and then is driving home from work he's promised to spend some time that evening with as young son. But when he was at work today an urgent project came up which is has to be ready and be presented the following morning he's driving home he's only got a few minutes in the car he wants to do what God wants him to do and now he's wondering whether he should maintain that commitment to his son. Or whether he really the Lord is asking him for now to give time to the to the task of work to get done so what's he what does he do and we face so many small choices like this every day and again we want Jesus to be Lord of our lives and that just in the big things but in all of our lives. What he will do is. Lift up his heart in prayer to the Lord. The review the factors for the one choice and the other and say if it's son's birthday that's one thing it is and has a very important Little League game this evening or his son is going through a difficult time that's one set of conditions it's kind of an ordinary. Evening and his son would have no difficulty at all with postponing to the next they would have reacted a They'd and this other is urgent that's another set of circumstances so use me he will review the factors involved make his best decision and this is important do it with peace without 2nd guessing him self and then if you really want to be ignition what he will do maybe in an examination of conscience as the day ends is review that choice and learn from it and now what I'm describing here is actually just an application of the to Mystic virtue of prudence when it is hip or natural virtue of prudence applied to the finding the best means to the end he wants to love God What's the best choice for that and in this particular situation. And if a person does this so that the choices are not just made because we're sort of carried along by the pressure of things but they meet prayerfully and with a little bit of reflection at least as as time allows and with peace without getting too anxious about it and then we're learning from these. If a person lives like this day after day. Month after month year after year something very beautiful develops Jesus really does become Lord of my whole day to do your will is my delight and that just grows in a person. Ok so at this point we have covered most of the choices in which we're going to be discerning but there is another category and then and it's this this category that it is most directly has in mind and it's what people usually have in mind when they think of discernment and seeking help in discernment. And these would be choices in which both options are good. The person is free to choose the one or the other. And the choice is significant. So that might be for example young man or young woman who is facing the vocational discernment priesthood religious life marriage. Significant career choices major decisions as regards the life of the family at a certain point in a changing job that's being offered and so on should we adopt a child is God asking that of us and I being called higher studies at this point in my life and so on so when the choice is significant. Or good and we're free to choose either that really is the choice and those that's the situation where Ignatius wants to come to our help us and that help is again to have another word that seems odd to modern people but. Well it says to have would be called a certain indifference towards the choices it doesn't mean I don't care. That it's indifference in the sense of you know it doesn't matter to me which choice is God's will it will and to do with ever God's will might be whether it fits so in my present clearly or. Whether it's my own predilection that it would be more fun for me or not I would whatever God wants even if it's. Exactly 1st choice his 1st choice that kind of indifference is a freedom that each person ought to trade for and ask the grace to be free to say. If I can give glory to. God something I don't particularly like that's Ok. You know it's a good. Kind of indifference is a real gift. By mentioning that you introduce this now into the process of discernment really because once that principle in foundation is clear I mean this world you know you think of all the. Logans that's too often a guy Joyce is just do it I have to follow my plays I have to be myself and. There's a certain truth to a certain degree in some of those slogans but they're inadequate obviously as if they all your bliss was from a guy who left you can't go. You can only build a building solidly if the foundation is solid and that's why Ignatius begins by laying that solid foundation which is the truth that I'm in this world because God created me gave me life to praise reverence and serve in the nation says to love Him and serve him in this life and so enter an eternity of joy with him when it is late and it's been absorbed then the key piece is exactly the disposition that you describe Now that's the 1st thing that's necessary and so a spiritual director who is guiding someone through a process of discernment Well now turn to that disposition. And see Ignatius says I quoted in the Spanish because it avoids those kind of. You know that you just mentioned but it does mean as you said a freedom availability what comes to mind is for saying this is the her own instance of this. Some years ago. A priest in his early fifty's contract a progressive disease. M.s.a. Multiple systems out or normally a person will live about 6 years from the onset of the disease and as the title says the various systems in the body progressively atrophy. And once I realized how serious this was I just made some comment about that and he just said well you know Ignatius is long life short life sickness whatever God wants which is a ROIC application of this and difference is completely available experience had it to behold the handmaid of the Lord it done to me according to your word whatever you want part if you want me to be married on the marriage if you want if you have priest of the a priest if you want this career if you want that career you want me to stay here or to move and so the 1st thing that's necessary is to pray for that Grace appropriate scriptures for example through prayer Petition all the sacraments the beautiful resources that we have in you know actually getting close to end of this segment but it's one of the great gifts of having that in difference that equal mindedness is judgment to put it would say that I'm equal mind it would have a God wants and. I think it gives God more freedom to give us grace is. A recognized piece that helps us to decide. You know when we're saying look I want to serve you so long as I get to have the the big car and the big house and lots of money and little bling to be nice to if I can have that I'll do it vs it'll took conditions and when you don't put tho