That the shackles have been taken off me and i can now fight for america the way i want to. What shackles are talking about . [ laughter ] the only thing that ever shackled you was the 140 character limit on twitter. [ laughter ] and now and now youre going to fight for america . Hey, buddy, youre not rosa parks. [ laughter ] you know how i know . People liked what rosa parks said on the bus. [ cheers and applause ] huge. Huge difference. Hillary clinton campaigned in florida today with al gore. Youre making al gore go back to florida . [ laughter ] thats so cruel. Thats like making joe frazier go back to manila. [ laughter ] donald trump told his supporters at a Campaign Event in pennsylvania last night, quote, get across that finish line. How things have changed. Hes gone from make America Great again to certificate of participation. [ laughter and applause ] were all winners really. Were all winners. Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg said in a new interview that she feels the recent athlete protest of the National Anthem are dumb and disrespectful. She feels that people should bow their head solemnly during the anthem just like she does during the state of the union. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] the Cleveland Indians yesterday completed their sweep of the Boston Red Sox and will move on in the alcs. [ cheers ] i hate the indians, said donald trump who wasnt talking about baseball. [ laughter and applause ] to the Supreme Court today arguing over whether samsung phones too closely resemble the iphone. I dont know though when you look at them side by side theres a pretty big difference. [ laughter ] a new study estimates that pokemon go players took over 100 billion steps in the last three months. Unfortunately not one of them was toward a date. [ laughter ] why . Why . Why would you woo . How did you not think a joke was coming . [ laughter ] andthe punch line was going to be, and theyre the best. [ laughter ] and we honor their service. [ laughter ] and finally you guys, a new study has been published showing that there is no evidence to the myth that having sex before a awkward between them in the huddle. We have a great show for you guys tonight. [ cheers and applause ] youre here for a good one. She is one of our favorites here at late night. She is the creator and star of hbos girls, the great lena dunham is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] from the broadway show, oh, hello, nick kroll and john mulaney areer [ cheers and applause ] a play that just opened last night in new york city, the fantastic reviews so were very lucky to have them here tonight. But before we get to all of our fantastic guests and all the other fun stuff we have a plan for you guys tonight, Donald Trumps free fall continued today with the gop engulfed in crisis as republicans distance themselves from trump and trump fires back. For more on this its time for a closer look. Seth in the aftermath of the debate polls of actual debate watchers gave Hillary Clinton a decisive win, but not if you ask team trump who loved trumps performance so much they even complimented the way he wandered around the stage. [ light laughter ] like british politician and brexit supporter nigel farage. I thought he was like big silverback gorilla, prowling the studio. Seth prowling the studio . It looked like he was wandering around like he was waiting for his microwave burrito to be also why did we let the brexit guy brenter the United States . [ laughter ] sorry bro, but you got to go brack to brengland. Brye brye. Though Donald Trumps political obituary has been written many times so we shouldnt jump the gun here. Watching this election has been like watching the last ten minutes of a slasher movie. Okay, he was on fire and he fell off the roof. Thats got to be it. Oh my god, hillary, hes still alive. [ laughter and applause ] the poll numbers that have come out in the past few days dont look good for trump prompting many republicans to abandon him and withdraw their endorsements. Trump has responded, meanwhile, with a slash and burn strategy designed to appeal to his loyal supporters throwing the gop, once again, into chaos. 29 days until election day and our new poll numbers out tonight speak to the urgent crisis exploding inside the Republican Party from the top down. Its time for republicans to hit the panic button. Here we he they may be staring at a total collapse of the party by election day. Republicans as much as democrats right now think this is donald trump pouring gasoline over his head and lighting himself on fire. Seth thats ridiculous. Trump doesnt need to pour gasoline over his head. Just drop a flint it in that nest of dry brush he calls a even gone so far as to threaten disobedient republicans with trump enforcer Rudy Giuliani suggesting that if he wins trump, quote, will remember who was with him and who was not. Oh, you know, giuliani likes to think of himself as tom hagen from the godfather but hes really more of an uncle junior from the sopranos. [ laughter and applause ] trump has become such a pariah that the New York Times reported over the weekend that trump tower has become a kind of lonely fortress for its most famous occupant who holds up inside increasingly ol [ laughter ] you know were about two weeks away from learning the name of trumps childhood sled. Which im guessing was what, trump sled . [ laughter ] it was the best sled. So good. So good at downhill. The classiest sled. [ laughter ] even before all the gop infighting, trump was losing. He was losing before the debate and the access Hollywood Tape and the last week has only made things worse. By complaining that even the polls are rigged against him as he did yesterday. We get crowds like this everywhere. But we get them in ohio, we get them at florida were doing unbel we have one in florida coming up 25,000 minimum, minimum two days but were getting them. But they just said, they said theres no way were three down. Even the polls are crooked. Im telling you. Seth just because you draw big crowds doesnt mean youre winning thec if all you needed to win was a big crowd of people, our next president would be ikea on a saturday. [ laughter ] also [ applause ] also buddy, i got something serious to tell you buddy, how can you possibly think everything is rigged against you . Youre a blow hard with a 7th grade vocabulary who became a celebrity billionaire with a super model wife. Life isnt unfair to you, its unfair for you. Complaining about the polls and this is the danger an unhinged trump could pose over the next four weeks, because even if he loses, trump can still do lasting damage by questioning the legitimacy of our political system. For example yesterday he also warned his supporters that the election could be stolen from them. Of course as many studies have proven, voter fraud is virtually nonexistent in this country and yet for months trump has been actively calling on his supporters in the Republican Party to illegally monitor polling sites for nonexistent voter fraud. Im telling you, that election is going to be rigged and i hope the republicans are watching closely or its going to be taken away from us. Seth you want republicans to watch closely for something . May i remind you republicans were caught completely off guard by a bright orange man in a bright red hat. [ laughter and applause ] no wonder the Republican Party is the official party of hunting accidents. [ cheers and applause ] our political system depends on people accepting the outcome even if they dont agree with it. He disagrees with something or someone just like he questioned president obama and now hes trying to delegitimize Hillary Clinton by calling her a criminal who should be thrown in jail like he did at the debate on sunday. Although according to his campaign manager, kellyanne conway, trump wasnt being serious when he said that. Does he stand by that this morning that Hillary Clinton would be in jail if he were the president . That was a quip. Seth yes, a classic donald trump quip. [ laughter ] rudy, chris, gather around. Ive crafted a new quip. [ laughter ] or perhaps its just a bon mot, ill tell it to you and you decide. [ laughter ] but as trumps m. O. To discredit anyone he disagrees with whether its his opponent or the election itself or even the media. In fact trump has been so hostile to the Mainstream Media and so friendly to the paranoid right wing fringe that he has even actively courted the support of a crack pot conspiracy theorist and radio host named alex jones. Trump granted jones an interview last year and frequently posts links to his website. And yesterday jones offered a support trump over hillary. She is an abject psychopathic demon from hell that as soon as she gets into power, shes gonna try to destroy the planet. Im sure of that and people around her say shes so dark now and so evil and so possessed that they are having nightmares. Theyre freaking out. Hillary reportedly i mean, i was told that people around her that they think that she is demon possessed. Okay, im just gonna go ahead and say it. Okay . Set then say, im going to go ahead and say it. [ laughter ] theyre aliens from mars living among us and occupying the highest level of government and well, im just going to say it, some of them are a little rude. [ laughter ] thankfully no one takes this guy seriously, right . I just want to finish by saying your reputations amazing. I will not let you down. You will be very, very impressed i hope. Seth and im just gonna go ahead and say it, i wont appoint any demons to my cabinet. [ laughter ] makes it difficult for him to win over swing voters or even the leaders of his own party. Trump has become increasingly isolated surrounded only by his base of loyal supporters. Supporters so loyal infact, that some of them brought a kid dressed like trump to a rally yesterday. Look at that guy over there. Bring him up. Wheres your daddy and your mommy right . Do you want to go back to them or do you want to stay with donald trump . Trump. [ cheers ] seth to be fair id stay with trump too if my other choice were parents who dressed me in costume and brought me to political rallies. This has been a closer look. . . [ cheers and applause ] well be right back with more from washington d. C. 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Im your moderator seth meyers. At this time wed like to invite both candidates to walk on to the stage think about shaking each others hands but then decide against it and please make it as awkward as possible. [ applause ] hello. Hello. Hello. [ applause ] seth that was great. Thank you. [ laughter ] lets get started. Mr. Trump, the first question is for you. Have you picked out who your next wife will be . Ive actually picked 20 of them. [ laughter ] seth secretary clinton, can you name the astronomical phenomenon where a star becomes system and turns it to a giant mass of flaming wreckage. Teachers and parents are calling it the trump effect. [ audience ohs ] seth mr. Trump, come on, be honest, do you really think theres a chance youll actually be elected president . Not in this country. [ laughter ] seth secretary clinton, who gets to hear you give a speech . Nobody who makes less than 250,000 a year. [ laughter and applause ] seth ive heard that. I heard theyre very expensive. Mr. Trump, this next question is for you, how would you handle the situation in syria and what oh, okay well. [ laughter ] well then never mind. All right . Secretary clinton, what is the name of your Fantasy Football Team . Kurdish peshmerga fighters. Tips on who i should pick up off the waiver wire this week . I would go after baghdadi. I would specifically target baghdadi. Seth okay, great. Thats Indianapolis Colts receiver steve baghdadi. [ light laughter ] mr. Trump, backstage you told me you had a hilarious joke you wanted to tell all of us. Lets hear it. Nobody has more respect for women than i do. [ laughter and applause ] seth very now thats a quip. [ laughter ] mr. Trump, your sons eric and donald jr. Have posted many pictures of themselves posing with big game they have killed. Where did they learn to hunt like that . With isis. Seth okay. [ light laughter ] secretary clinton, what do you think the trump boys did growing up when they found their stockings on Christmas Morning . They dug that coal out. Time that you were really jealous . Daughters wedding. [ audience ohs ] [ applause ] seth secretary clinton, why do i always want to drink a margarita every time i see a hammock . Its called the buffett rule. [ light laughter ] seth mr. Trump, tell me everything you know about russia, take as much time as you need. I know nothing about russia. [ light laughter ] seth thank you for your honesty. [ applause ] hey, secretary clinton remember when you and i went to burning man back in 2003 . Thats the highest weve ever been. [ laughter and applause ] mr. Trump christmas is coming up. Complete this famous line. On comet, on cupid on libya, on syria, on iraq. Seth secretary clinton, why isnt the mcrib available all year round . I dont know the reasons, but we deserve answers. Seth yeah, i remember you saying that at burning man. Man about that. Secretary clinton, a serious question. Is it worth it, let me work it, i put my thing down flip it and we need to reverse that. Seth thats right. [ applause ] thats right. Exactly the answer we were looking for. Secretary clinton, why are you such a big fan of cottage cheese . The kurds have been our best partners. Seth and mr. Trump, ive moderated your debates before and i always like to close with this question, how is your penis . I think that it basically has fallen, okay . It basically has fallen. [ laughter and applause ] seth well looks like were out of time. So on behalf of the candidates, have a good night. Well be right back with lena dunham. [ cheers and applause ] . . . . . . . . Hi, how can i help . . . . . You totaled your brand new car. Nobodys hurt, but there will still be pain. Threequarters of what it takes to replace it. What are you supposed to do . Drive threequarters of a car . 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Hurry in and lease the 2017 passat s . . The white house. Located at 1600 pennsylvania avenue, the white house is a beloved and historic symbol of american democracy that serves as the residence of the leader of the free world. Residence of the president s roommate, eric. Home to the west wing, the east wing, and erics room. The white house has served as the backdrop for several historic moments such as Lyndon Johnson signing the Civil Rights Act in 1964 and when eric beat super mario brothers 3 without using any warp whistles. While people typically maintain a level of respect and decorum in the white house. One can te screaming at eric for being late on his share of the rent which is 375,000 per month. [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back to late night, everyone. Before we continue, please, a round of applause for the great 8g band right over here. [ cheers and applause ] and were so honored that were joined this week by some very serious musicians from the ground breaking, grammy Award Winning rock band Living Colour, corey glover is here. [ cheers and applause ]