Him as a client. Well protect you and your staff from all types of investigations including trees an, illegal arms sales. Anything that ends in gate. And killing mufassa. I heard he slipped. If youre a world leader, call us today. The only thing youll be found guilty of is a great decision. Its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight, stephen welcomes kevin spacey. Terry crews. And rob huebel. Featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen hey hey stephen sparkly. Audience Stephen Stephen stephen hey, everybody, please, have a seat. Youre too kind. Welcome to the late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. cheers and applause thanks so much. Donald trump may be out of the country, but he is still the toast of washington. Or whatever reason hes that color. I think its toasting. laughter just today, this morning, the Trump Administration unveiled their 2018 budget, titled, a new foundation for american greatness, which is just slightly grandiose for a financial document. Its like calling your grocery list a bold vision for yogurt and dog food. Not a lot on that list. Now, that foundation of americas greatness . What hes building that on . It turns out hes building out of ofthe groundup bones of poor people because this budget cuts things like the food stamp program, snap, and the Childrens Health insurance program, chip. So hes cutting snap and chip, to which americas children replied stop and help. laughter i know this is an unpopular position these days, but i believe children should go to the doctor and eat. laughter cheers and applause where do i find the courage . Where do i find the courage . Not in the white house. And the whole thing is particularly cruel to one Minority Group trumps voters. Because the president s budget hits his own voters the hardest, taking aim at the social safety net on which many of them rely. Its all there on trumps new hat, make the poor live on squirrel meat again. laughter meanwhile, budget director and newly appointed chairman of the lollipop guild, Mike Mulvaney told reporters, we are no longer going to measure compassion by the number of programs or the number of people on those programs. We are going to measure compassion by the number of people we help get off of those programs. Yes, its like the old saying, give a man fish, he eats for a day. Take away his fish, weve got all the fish woohoo fish party woohoo mike or mick . Mick mulvaney . Something like that. This budget is filled with brutal, senseless cuts to medical research, like 14 billion in cuts from health and human services, including an unbelievable cut of 19 from the National Cancer institutes budget. Audience boo stephen listen, listen, trump said wed be sick of winning, and he is ready to deliver on the first half of that sentence. laughter the budget also calls for major cuts to the centers for disease control. So whenever that thing inside steve bannon bursts out and goes airborne, we will not be prepared to handle it. cheers and applause speaking of things that keep spreading, the russia investigation is only getting worse for the president. Last night we found out back in march, after james comey testified that there was an investigation into collusion between russia and the trump team. Trump asked the director of National Intelligence and the head of the n. S. A. To publicly deny evidence of russia collusion. Fellas, you know that thing im totally innocent of . Could you crush that before it gets out . laughter just like comey, the intelligence directors trump talked to refused to help. So why did trump do it . According to one Senior Intelligence official, trumps goal was to muddy the waters. Let me get this straight. It goes drain the swamp, then muddy the waters. Muddy the waters also, his environmental policy. And earlier today, the House Intelligence Committee heard testimony from former c. I. A. Director and man asking if youve taken the picture yet, john brennan. laughter and and lovely, lovely picture. And true to pretty much all the testimony about russia, brennan said something completely shocking in the most boring way possible. I encountered and am aware of information and intelligence that revealed contacts and interactions between russian officials and u. S. Persons involved in the Trump Campaign that i was concerned about because of known russian efforts to suborn such individuals. And it raised questions in my mind again whether or not the russians were able to gain the cooperation of those individuals. laughter cheers and applause stephen im awake im awake put me in coach. Okay, that might have been boark but what he just said is super important. Basically, hes saying he knows that russia tried to recruit members of the Trump Campaign. Hes not sure if they did. Thats like saying, we know the mob tried to cut your brake cables. We just dont know if they succeeded. Here are the keys. Have a great drive. Its full of gas cheers and applause meanwhile, meanwhile, across the pond, overseas, Donald Trumps magical misery tour continues. laughter after leaving israel, today, he god to rome . Today, President Trump arrived in rome. Hes so excited to finally meet jude law. You look much older in person. You need to moisturize. Rome is the third leg of trumps tour of some of the worlds major holy sites. If i did not know any better, id say trump is really trying to get in touch with god. You got that right, stephen. Stephen oh, its god, everybody say hello to the lord. Hello, everybody. Stephen thank you for being here. Technically, im everywhere, stephen. Im here at every church, on a tortilla in guadalajara. Oh, no, wait. They didnt see me, and now they ate me. They dont know what they missed. Stephen well, lord, how do you feel about trump going to all these holy sites around the world . I dont know. You pray with three major religions in one week . Seems a little needy. Come on, buy a god a drink first. Stephen well, the president was praying to you at the western wall in jerusalem yesterday. Can you tell us what he prayed for . Oh, sorry, stephen. Unlike some people, i dont give away topsecret information from israel. laughter cheers and applause not this time. Mums the word. Stephen still, youre getting a lot of attention this week, god. It must feel pretty special. Not at all, stephen. This whole thing is just a distraction from the russia scandal. I mean, trump even asked me if i could get james comey to stop the f. B. I. Investigation. laughter stephen really, wow. So are you going to . No even if i wanted to help, i cant. You know separation of church and state. Plus, i really want to see that pee tape. laughter come on. Somebody knows its real. Stephen dont know. I do. laughter stephen so, is there any way trump can win you over . Well, at this point, hes got to go big get swallowed by a whale, build me an ark, sacrifice one of his children oh, and a good one, too. Not eric. cheers and applause stephen nice talking to you, god. If its okay with you, im going took back to my show now if thats cool. You do you, stephen. Ill just be up here playing with my fidget spinner. This thing helped me quit smoking. Stephen god, everybody weve got a great show for you tonight. Kevin spacey is here. But when we come back, ill be right here. Stick around. Introducing new parodontax. The toothpaste that helps prevent bleeding gums. If you spit blood when you brush or floss you may have gum problems and could be on the journey to much worse. Help stop the journey of gum disease. Try new parodontax toothpaste. 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And that makes dogs and owners happy. No wonder vets love it too. Reported side effects include vomiting, itching, diarrhea, lethargy and lack of appetite. See your vet for more information on flea and tick protection you and your dog will love. Nexgard. The vets 1 choice. band playing cheers and applause stephen welcome back, everybody. Jon batiste and stay human. Say hello the band right over there cheers and applause jon hey stephen welcome back, my friend. Now, folks, before we go any further, i just want to take a brief moment right now to talk about the horrific event in manchester last night. After tragic events like this, there is really nothing you can say that can approach the shock and grief of the victims and their families. But last night, our friend james corden spoke movingly and beautifully about that city and the people he knows in manchester, and i recommend you go online to hear what he had to say. All we can add here is that following acts of senseless violence, like this, its all the more important not to be controlled by fear but instead to be reminded by the action of the people of manchester who rushed to the aid of their friends and strangers alike. Its more proof that evil cannot succeed, as long as good people are willing to love each other. And lets all try our best to do that. cheers and applause now im going to go over there and do a couple more jokes. Come on, lets do it. cheers and applause now, i dont know if youve noticed, but while hes been overseas, the president hasnt been tweeting as much. I assume its because hes too cheap to pay for data roaming. laughter but it might also be because last week, trump aides staged a twitter intervention. What . You cant take twitter away from trump thats like taking the nudity away from game of thrones its the reason why we watch the show applause how, this twittervention was arranged because aides have been concerned about the president s use of twitter to push inflammatory claims. Yes, i mean, theres a lot of reason to be concerned. History has shown that if he keeps saying all this crazy stuff, he could win another president ial election. Audience boo stephen keep smiling. laughter and theres urgency because trumps staff fears they may soon lose their jobs. As one source put it, the president goes through moods where sometimes he wants to blow everything up. Um, excuse me. If he goes through moods where he wants to blow everything up, maybe its not twitter you should be taking away from him. cheers and applause now, apparently now, apparently, this intervention included white house staff only, but there are plenty of us who have been deeply affected by trumps tweets. So i just want to take a second to speak to President Trump personally. I wrote this letter as part of the intervention. laughter dear President Trump, your tweeting has affected me in the following ways my ratings are up. cheers and applause but, President Trump, some nights, half my monologue is just about things youve tweeted. Youre squeezing out other fun news stories. Did you know that San Francisco is opening a rat cafe . They are. Thats real. laughter you took that away from me. laughter we want you to accept help. Or at the very least, autocorrect. laughter how many ways can you misspell independent council . Please give up this harmful addiction and find another coping mechanism. Have you tried drinking . Because thats what ive been doing, and its working great. Well be right back with kevin spacey. applause hey allergy muddlers are you one sneeze away from being voted out of the carpool . Try zyrtec® its starts working hard at hour one and works twice as hard when you take it again the next day. Stick with zyrtec® and muddle no more®. Im dr. Kelsey mcneely and some day you might be calling me an energy farmer. Energy lives here. I hafor my belly painking overand constipation. Ucts ive had it up to here its been month after month of fiber. Weeks taking probiotics days and nights of laxatives, only to have my symptoms return. vo if youve had enough, tell your doctor what youve tried and how long youve been at it. Linzess works differently from laxatives. Linzess treats adults with ibs with constipation or chronic constipation. It can help relieve your belly pain, and lets you have more frequent and complete bowel movements that are easier to pass. Do not give linzess to children less than six, and it should not be given to children six to less than 18. It may harm them. Dont take linzess if you have a bowel blockage. Get immediate help if you develop unusual or severe stomach pain, especially with bloody or black stools. The most common side effect is diarrhea, sometimes severe. If its severe, stop taking linzess and call your doctor right away. Other side effects include gas, stomacharea pain, and swelling. Talk to your doctor about managing your symptoms proactively with linzess. band playing cheers and applause stephen welcome back, everybody. Folks, my first guest tonight is a tony and Academy Award winner infamous Frank Underwood o how much more proof do you people need . I demand that every member of this house take a stand, like f. D. R. Before and wilson before him. I demand that this congress declare a formal declaration of war, both here and abroad the house will adjourn. The president will cease. I will not cease i will never cease stephen please welcome the kevin spacey. cheers and applause cheers and applause cheers and applause stephen look at that. Im afraid thats all we have time for. Thank you very much. Good night. Stephen i love a guest who takes his time on the cross, says hi to the band. Youve got to. Good evening. Stephen good evening to you. Nice to see you. Stephen welcome back. Its been a while. Stephen its been over a year. Is that mine . Stephen it is yours. Lets find out. laughter stephen thats the good stuff. Thats the good stuff. Stephen thats the good stuff. Yeah. Stephen its been over a year since you were here. That is correct. Stephen and the last time you were here, a bit of a different world or at least different leadership, last time you were here. Yes, yes. Stephen is it is it odd to do a show like house of cards that does not seem as crazy as reality anymore . laughter is that a challenge in any way to you . cheers and applause well as Christopher Walken might say, its crazy. laughter stephen thats one of the things one of the things about house of cards is you guys, for season after season, people would go how did you know the world is going to be the way it is . You know, you guys are sort of predictive. Well, its interesting that every season and i would say particularly this season we have you know, we come together. We do our bible of what were going to do in the whole season. We start writing. We write the episodes. We shoot the episodes. And then at some point between when weve shot the season and before it drops, three or four or five things that we have dealt with on the show happen in the real world. And we go, okay. Everyones going to assume we stole it from the headlines. But in fact, we did it first. laughter and i think actually whats been interesting this year sort of watching a lot of commentary. People have been saying house of cards is going to be boring this year. How can they compete with reality . laughter i have to say in all honesty, i think weve never before more relevant. cheers and applause . Stephen the first time you were here, the first time you were here, i asked you like, you know, when Frank Underwood does his asides into the camera, is there anyone hes actually talking to you said it was i think i said as a joke that it was donald trump. laughter stephen that was a long time before he was seriously considered a guy who could be president of the united states. What has become clear since then is, of course, hes just not listening at all. laughter stephen ive think trump could use a little Frank Underwood. A little planning would be comforting. Because he seems a little see the of the pants sometimes. I will say this i do believe we have better writers. cheers and applause stephen improv. I think hes doing i think hes improvising. A little bit. Stephen yeah. Its like jazz its the governance you dont do. laughter . Very interesting. He yeah, no, its been i have to say, you know, its been very entertaining. Stephen yeah, it sure has. Yeah. Stephen it sure has. Exhaustingly so. No, no, im just talking about you coming out here every night and talking about it. Thats been very entertaining. Stephen oh, thats been very entertaining for me, too. Thats been medicinal. Thats better than a cocktail. applause youve acted on some of the greatest stages in the world here and abroad. But i understand youre taking on an enormous new stage right here in new york over in flushing meadows. Yes, where they normally do the u. S. Open, arthur ashe stadium, i have decided to do a oneman play i did in lopped a couple years back about a great, legendary attorney named Clarence Darrow. applause stephen sure. For those for those in the demographic who dont know who Clarence Darrow is . Stephen yes. You do actually know who he is because he is the basis for the great film inherit the wind the great scopes monkey tile about the teaching of evolution in a science class in tennessee. He was one of the most extraordinary voices i think in american history. In fact, he had a lot to do with the way we live our lives now. He was a remarkable labor attorney. He, in fact, is the reason we have an eighthour day for american workers, Clarence Darrow. applause he was also an extraordinary civil rights attorney. And he took on