There before december 25th just forget barb daddy needs a new nine iron announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert tonight Robert Deniro amy John Krasinski and Millie Bobby Brown featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, its the best in late show retrospectacular endof year wrapupabration captioning sponsored by cbs stephen welcome to the late show oh, my goodness. Oh, my goodness. Oh, welcome to the late show. I am happy to be your host, Stephen Colbert. cheers and applause did everybody have a good weekend . cheers and applause i had a nice one, too. Im prethanksgiving carboloading. Just to work everything out. laughter i took the last couple of days off. Nice, didnt do much, hung out with some friends, made a pie. Jon what kind of pie . Stephen but, you know, had to work all weekend. Jon uhhuh. Stephen donald trump laughter poor guy cant catch a break. He didnt know being president was a fulltime job. laughter first, he agreed to a 25 million settlement in the Trump University fraud case. Settlement, okay . audience booing settlement. Technically he didnt lose, he settled. Just how technically he didnt win the popular vote, america settled. applause see, trump was sued for fraud by students at his forprofit school, Trump University. The fightin payday loans i dont know who the mascot is. I dont know who their mascot is. The fightin grabbers laughter now yeah. Yeah. Jon hey, hey my man hey stephen i didnt say what he was grabbin, man laughter now one of the many allegations in this lawsuit was that trump advertised he would personally handpick instructors and then under oath he admitted he did not pick the seminar leaders. But given his cabinet picks, maybe thats a good thing. laughter even though he clearly said he never settles lawsuits, trump doesnt see this as a loss. On saturday morning he tweeted, i settled the Trump University lawsuit for a small fraction of the potential award because as president i have to focus on our country. laughter yes, a small fraction. Trump paid 25 million of 40 million they were seeking. And 25 million is a small fraction of 40 million, if you learned math at Trump University. cheers and applause jon yeah, i got ya stephen with the lawsuit settled, the students of Trump University have finally finished their education. So id like to take a moment right now and directly address the final graduating class at Trump University. pomp and circumstance plays on organ cheers and applause graduates of trump u, as you leave these hallowed hotel ballrooms to start your lives and then restart your educations at an actual school, you will be entering a troubled world. For example donald trump is going to be president , but you are uniquely poised to take on that challenge because real world experience is the best teacher, and youve been conned by a master. The connections youve made here will last a lifetime. Look to your left, and look to your right. Those are the people youll be splitting the settlement check with. laughter and i hope and pray that you will take the lessons of Trump University with you. The future is what you make of it. Also, never take Business Advice from a man who cant sell vodka or steaks. You know what everyone loves . Booze and meat. So, go out there and be a shining example of Trump Universitys timeless motto carpe crotchem. Thats my time everybody take a diploma from the bin by the door please tip your waitress. Thank you cheers and applause do i have to get that . Im not sure if i was supposed to give that away. Do i have to give that back . Okay. Thats yours. No, you can keep it. There you go. Congratulations. Put it on put it on put it on put it on cheers and applause how proud his mother must be. laughter oh, and i have some good news, because donald trump may be coming to a town near you because hes planning a pre inauguration victory tour. Yes, trump is taking his show on the road. Itll be like the Rolling Stones reunion tour, only with more old white people. laughter although, theres some disagreement out there about what its actually called. Were working on a victory tour now that will happen uh, when, kellyanne . In the next couple of weeks. Its called a thank you tour. Its not a victory tour. Its a thank you tour. A thank you tour. Thank america tour. Stephen yes, its a thank you tour. Its a thank you tour just like the roman generals used to drag the conquered people behind them in their thank you parades. laughter applause but and then they would make them fight in the youre welcome pit. laughter but its going to be fun. Pace yourself. Its four years. But this isnt a world tour or even a National Tour because trumps thank you rallies will be held only in the states that trump won. Now, donald trump won 30 states, so i assume hell be standing in front of our new flag at his rallies. Old partial glory. applause of course, the story that everyone is talking about is Vice President elect mike pences going to see hamilton. Its surprising he went to broadway, because pence believes that being on broadway is a choice that can be cured. applause and pence its pray away the broadway, right . Thats how it goes. You pray away the broadway. I believe thats what its called. laughter pence got booed when he took his seat and the cast had a message for pence during the curtain call we, sir, we are the diverse americans who are alarmed and anxious that your new administration will not protect us, our planet, our children, our parents, or defend us and uphold our inalienable rights, sir. But we truly hope this show has inspired you to uphold our american values, and to work on behalf of all of us. Stephen powerful. cheers and applause and ive been told that pence really absorbed the message of hamilton, and has pledged to help bring the country back to the 18th century. laughter good luck. Good luck, sir. Now, i will say that pence stayed and listened and afterwards he said he wasnt offended. But donald trump was, tweeting the theater must always be a safe and special place. The cast of hamilton was very rude last night to a very good man, mike pence. Apologize first of all, mr. Trump, the only president who gets to complain about the theater is abraham lincoln. cheers and applause second, i dont know where you got the idea that the theater is safe. Ive seen cats laughter you think youre safe, but then all the catpeople start coming off the stage and try to sit on your lap and crawl up the walls President Trump build the fourth wall applause and after that, make Andrew Lloyd Webber pay for it after that little tweet tirade, trump tweeted, the cast and producers of hamilton, which i hear is highly overrated. Okay, stop. Now youve gone too far. You can pull out of nato, you can round up immigrants, but hamilton overrated . No cheers and applause no you cant say that you cant say its overrated its had a huge cultural impact. Its finally given old white people a way to enjoy rap laughter and Trump Supporters rallied around his tweets, calling for a hamilton boycott to defend mike pence. audience booing okay, let me point out that you cant boycott something you cant get. You cant get into hamilton, okay . That would be like Hillary Clinton boycotting the inaugural. She doesnt need to. laughter now, this whole drama was insane donald trump jumping in to defend his innocent Vice President from theater bullies. This will go down in the history books. This is history now. Jon its historic. Stephen its absolutely historic. Jon thats right. Stephen and future generations of americans will learn all about it in the form of a hiphop musical. That we are premiering right now cheers and applause how does an orange, bully, son of a bitch and a con man grabbing bleep with gary busey, no taxes evident, grow up to be a hero and the president . Well, the story of my reign starts on the great white way with a great whitehaired veep who doesnt like the gay. I always thought the theater was a safe and special place, but when the Vice President s in residence some thugs get up in his face, cameras blazing, come right at him in their scary tights. Blast him bang with a request to protect their rights stabbing him with rudeness, the cast casting aspersions before pence can hit em back with some gay conversions. He got a lecture, he got hectored in his tiny little seat. I wont let my veep go down like that. Men, to the tweets drop the toilet seat, drop the beat, thumbs so fast, disappearing like my balance sheets. Gonna make the theater safe again and end the lies. Watch this, im gonna tweet apologize. And. Done. Back to making america great. Hannity, truckasaurus who wants secretary of state . cheers and applause say hi to jon batiste and stay human, everybody. cheers and applause my new beer, stella artois, hey cois finished. The people will love it. Originally brewed for the holidays. Enjoyed ever since. Stella artois. Host one to remember you ready . By their second kid, every mom is an expert, and more likely to choose luvs than first time moms. Live, learn, get luvs. Psh psh lunch is ready campbells spiderman soups. Made for real, real life. Thanks mom if you could see your cough, youd see just how far it can spread. Robitussin dm max is now better tasting, with the same fast powerful cough relief. Robitussin dm max. Because its never just a cough. Come on why doesnt verizon offer unlimited data like tmobile . Is it because their lte network was built six years ago . Six years ago . Thats like a hundred. In phone years. Their lte network is older, slower, and they limit you. Switch to tmobile. The newer, faster, and unlimited network. We cover 99 of the americans verizon covers. Get 4 lines, just 40 a month. Rrowl. cheers and applause laughter applause laughter applause clears throat laughter stephen so david o. Russell is the director of this one, right . Yeah. Stephen yeah. You worked with him a few times. Yeah. Stephen i hear he yells lines out like, try this line. Try that line. Yup. Stephen do you like that . I do, i do. Stephen say, i love it. Well, i love it laughter applause i dont i dont really love it. Stephen you dont love it, no . You know what . I believed you, though. Youre that good of an actor. I really did. You have directed yourself. I have. Stephen you have worked with great directors and youre a director yourself. Could you help me out, i started off as an actor. You did . Stephen back in the day. I would like to get some of that de niro, or deneto magic. Ill try one of these. Ill come in, with an intention. All right, go ahead. Stephen im going to have an intention, and im going to tell you lets say the first one like im a doctor, the first line is im a doctor and ive lost the patient. Youre the family. And i come out, okay. clears throat im sorry, we did everything we could. laughter so youre coming out to give us the bad news . Stephen im in the scrubs, the blood, everything, like this. So you came out as if you just told us that our hamster died. laughter and stephen uhhuh. And maybe maybe you have a little more empathy for the family . Stephen is there a trick . Is there an acting trick to get me because i want to get to the emotionality. Its a Family Member who passed away. Stephen yeah. You said, im sorry, we did everything we could. Its like hello stephen i dont want to overapologize. laughter . But you have to show a little more empathy. Stephen okay, ill try a little more. All right. laughter now youre overacting. Stephen i havent even started. I havent even started acting yet. What are you talking about . Give a guy a chance im putting too much im putting too much jewelry on. Im about to take one piece off before i go act. Let me try. Let me try it again. All right, all right, all right. Im listening. Stephen let me try it again. Im sorry. Im still saying the line. Im still saying the line thats better. Stephen better, okay. Thats better. Its not great, but its better. laughter stephen do you want to try it . No, no, im not gonna im not stephen give me a line reading. No, im not going to give you a line reading. Stephen okay, all right, how about this one . How about the last one right there . Go ahead. Stephen this is two santas too many. Oh, by the way, its from a movie called three santas. laughter okay. Stephen okay . laughter and im im the real santa and the two other guys who are playing santa with me, and those guys arent the real santas. Im the real one, and im trying to explain its two santas too many. So youre the real santa. Stephen im the real santa. Who says youre the real santa . Stephen i say im the real santa. What do you mean, whats my backstory . Im an eternal spiritual creature who brings happiness to children. Thats my backstory. Who created that . Stephen who created that . Nobody created santa. Hes a real person, robert. I know, but what story is this in . Stephen its a movie im working on. Im writing this movie called three santas. Listen, youre either attached to the project or youre not. In or out. On the bus or off the bus, but the santas are leaving the station. Got it. Im just trying to get behind it. laughter so but you wrote this story. Stephen its a treatment. Im working on it right now. So your thing is youre saying there are two santas too many. Stephen right. Or this is two santas too many. What are you saying . The other two santas, what did they do . Stephen they are not real santas in this story. They are, like, Department Store santas, who end up accidentally getting on santas sleigh when it really lands in times square, and they go to the north pole. And now because their santa outfits are so great, theyre confusing the elves. And mrs. Mrs. Claus cant tell which of us is the real person, and we end up wrestling and i go, shoot them im the real santa. Again, were still were still working on it. laughter . No, it sounds good. laughter applause but so you are saying that youre the youre the real santa. Stephen yeah. Compared to those two santas. Stephen not real santas. And why is that . What gives you that extra stephen why i am the real santa . Yeah. Stephen i dont know how to explain this. Im the real santa. Why are you the real Robert De Niro . Well. Stephen i mean, there are fake Robert De Niros out there. cheers and applause have you ever ill tell you what, i do a pretty good Robert De Niro. You have ever seen my Robert De Niro . No. Stephen see, im Robert De Niro. See, i run this town. Good, nice. Stephen you like that . Very good. Stephen people love that. Everybody knows thats my de niro. Okay, got it. I need another drink. laughter applause cheers the movie is joy. Joy is in theaters on Christmas Day the man is the great Robert De Niro, everyone. Well be right back. cheers and applause kohls is now open 24 hours so shop anytime for the best gifts ever and earn kohls cash. 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Its 4 times stronger, and you can use less enjoy the go with charmin. ,, cheers and applause stephen welcome back, everybody cheers and applause my first guest tonight my first guest tonight is a brilliant comedian and now the author of her highly anticipated book the girl with the lower back tattoo. Please welcome the great amy schumer. cheers and applause cheers and applause yeah come on i love the band stephen theyre the best band. I love you, i love the band. You know what i mean . Stephen i feel the same way, in my darkest moments. cheers and applause oh, wow. Stephen congratulations on the new book, the girl with the lower back tattoo. I wrote a book. Stephen you did. Thats quite an achievement. You wrote a good book, not just a book. No one even thought i could read. laughter stephen thank you for being here, because i understand youre feeling a little under the weather, thank you for being here. Why, just because im winded from walking twenty feet . laughter stephen its the altitude, its two steps up here. Is it hot in here . Yeah, i just finished filming a movie. I was in hawaii all summer with goldie hawn. cheers and applause hello such a rough life. Stephen is that the part were supposed to be sympathetic about, that you spent the summer in hawaii . I know, so its been a really hard no, so i got really sick there. I got bronchitis, and i was like, exhausted, so i was in the hospital, we had to stop shooting for a week. Stephen wait, you went to the hospital kind of sick . You know it stephen like fluids and painkillers and stuff like that . That was my sister and i were laughing so hard because they kept coming in. They were taking all this blood and they were going the blood hematized, so, and we would just start laughing. Because they kept having to i dont know what it means. Stephen but they could say anything to you. Yeah, all the time and they kept having to take more. It was just rock bottom and, so, i couldnt speak, and i coughed so hard stephen thats difficult when youre a performer not being able to speak. I know. It turns out, i thought the gold was just this, but it turns out im more, im like, ariel, you have got to hear my voice. laughter but i coughed so hard that i fractured my own ribs. Yeah, so that still kind of smarts. Stephen wow, by the way, do you want a little hot tea or Something Like that . Would you mind . Stephen a little hot tea. Oh, thats exactly what i want. Thank you. Selfpromotion. Stephen a little bit, yeah. All you guys are the same. laughter stephen weve got to. Thats so nice. Thank you. Stephen so, did you get to enjoy the islands at all . What island were you on . Honolulu, oahu i dont know, there was a palm tree. laughter i was sick like the whole time. First of all, im from here, so i like to sit and not move. laughter stephen yeah. And everyone hikes there. Like, theyre just everyone hikes every day. Stephen theyre so healthy. Theyre so healthy. And their just like dogs hike. Cats, you will see on a hike. laughter i went hiking and somebody said, on your left it was, like, a baby in a diaper was like blowing past me. laughter stephen did you go to kauai . Because its like the grand canyon of i did go to kauai, but i was too sick. Stephen oh, wow. I was bed ridden. Stephen i went hiking on kauai on my honeymoon and was humiliated, because we walked down into a canyon and i couldnt get out. laughter you couldnt get out. Stephen and i thought, thats it. No sex for me on my honeymoon. I cant climb up a hill. Its a little emasculating. It was like 127 hours but nothing was wrong with you. laughter stephen no, but i felt like cutting off my own arm by the end of it. Oh my god, what a great way to start a marriage. Stephen yeah. Yeah, hawaii didnt totally agree with me. Im not like, they would hike under any circumstances. You and i were stopped easily, but they were just i remember, it was really muddy and i asked someone hey, is it going to be this muddy at the top . They were, like, yes, but also there are bees up there. laughter nothing slows them down. Stephen dont drink the water. It has leprosy in it. Somethings wrong. Stephen the last time i saw you, we were at the fanciest thing possible. We were at the met gala. We went to the met gala. Stephen and look at this, this is you. cheers and applause oh, my gosh. Is that stephen this is all safety pins. Thats all safety pins on the front. Thats all safety pins. Those were a necessity. Stephen yeah, in case somebody needed to change a babys diaper. I look like Ben Roethlisberger here, like this isnt even stephen no, you look beautiful. You look beautiful there. And you had a big night. Who is that . Uh oh, whos that . Me and beyonce, best friends. cheers and applause wow. Wait, but can we i saw this picture and i really wanted to post it but i didnt because can you zoom in on my face . I look like a witch. I have a witchs that is a witchs profile. laughter i am a witch, and i had no idea. But, yes, i got to meet stephen you look beautiful. She got to meet you. No. cheers and applause stephen coming up next my favoerite regular segment where cbs tells you about products you can buy. Ooh here comes one now. With my moderate to severe ulcerative colitis, the possibility of a flare was almost always on my mind. Thinking about what to avoid, where to go. And how to deal with my uc. To me, that was normal. Until i talked to my doctor. She told me that humira helps people like me get uc under control and keep it under control when certain medications havent worked well enough. Humira can lower your ability to fight infections, including tuberculosis. Serious, sometimes fatal infections and cancers, including lymphoma, have happened; as have blood, liver, and nervous system problems, serious allergic reactions, and new or worsening heart failure. Before treatment, get tested for tb. Tell your doctor if youve been to areas where certain fungal infections are common, and if youve had tb, hepatitis b, are prone to infections, or have flulike symptoms or sores. Dont start humira if you have an infection. Raise your expectations. Ask your gastroenterologist about humira. With humira, control is possible. Enjoy your phone you too. All right, be cool. You got the amazing new iphone 7 on the house by switching to at t. What . . Aand you got unlimited data because you have directv . . laughs to self in disbelief okay, just a few more steps. Door its cool get the iphone 7 on us and unlimited data when you switch to at t and have directv. cheers and applause stephen welcome back, everybody were back here. Were back here with the adorable John Krasinski. Okay . Thank you. I fought for it and i got it. Stephen you got it, exactly right. We had him notarized as adorable. Your new film was called the hollars. Thats right. Stephen little clip we saw when you first came out here. What was the casting process like in this film . Actually i was attached as the actor about six or seven years ago. And the, as happens with these smaller films, the financier couldnt get it made, and he said, buy the script outright and try to make it as your own. Stephen what . And i said, you just said you couldnt get it made, that sounds like a terrible financial decision for me. laughs and then i decided to go for it anyway. Its a really incredibly special movie. Its a movie that i used to love growing up, family movies like terms of endearment and things that really make you think about the power of family im big into. Stephen its a genre you dont see much anymore. Its true. And i hope this movie people ask me, what do you hope for the movie . And usually when you do press tours, you say go see the movie because i was in it. And this was the first time that i was like, i hope people go see this having nothing to do with me being the director and actor because. Stephen oh, youre the director, too . Yes stephen oh, wow. cheers and applause thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I cast myself, so. laughter stephen do you become impatient with an actor who doesnt take your note . No, not at all. I mean, to be really honest, we have the greatest actors in this movie. If you know margot martindale, richard jenkins, anna kendrick, charlie day. Great people. Stephen great people. But as a director i was a waiter for many years. And if i get bad service as a restaurant, im like, i have no patience. I have no patience for that. Really . Stephen oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Wow stephen yeah, im not a better customer. Im a much worse customer. laughter because i was a really good when we were at dinner, were you judging . Stephen totally. You were just totally judging that guy. Stephen yes. Totally. Was there a oneminute approach . Did they put a bev nap down . Did they let me know if i needed them . Was there something wrong with the dish . Just take it away. Dont bleep debate me just take it away. cheers and applause so, in the same way as a director talking to an actor, just like, im the director, do what i say roll em if we just go back on what you just said, thats how i talk to my actors. I was like, i mouth a lot when theyre acting. I just do this a lot, like, and when theyre like, hey, i was wondering i try to like act through them is the best way to do it. No, god, if i did that, i hope they would slap me in the face. Stephen i would go see that. You would . Stephen yeah, that would be fun. You would . Ok. Not the movie, you just want to see the outtakes of people slapping me . Stephen are there outtakes of the movie . There will be outtakes when it comes out on dvd. Stephen right. But youll pay for it because were best friends now. laughter stephen ive already established that i paid for dinner though. Shouldnt you pick up the movie tickets . I mean, if you want to fight about this, we can. Stephen we should fight and then theres the makeup sex. laughter thats right thats what i look forward to the most. Stephen now, lets point out that our wives are watching this. laughter your lovely wife and my lovely wife. And one thing that you and i have in common and your wife also enjoys is doing what we call puke takes. Mmhmm, fake vomiting. Stephen fake vomiting. Something i had a lot of fun with with our mutual friend steve carell. We used to do this together. Yes. Stephen you and your wife have both done it with me. Would you like to do some more fake vomiting with me right now . I will do it all day every day. cheers and applause stephen okay, great. And because this is in case you want that. Lets do because you and i both have lovely wives, and because theyre the only women in the world that would probably put up with this, why dont we do i suggest we do a shakespearean sonnet, a love poem, to our wives, all right . And you talk to yours over there and ill talk to mine over here and obviously mines over here . Hi emily, haha. Thats technology right there. Thats not a real person. Stephen all right, great. If you want to begin, ill follow you. Puke take, shakespeare. Emily, shall i compare thee to a summers laughter thou art more lovely and more. Temperate. Stephen rough winds do shake the darling buds of and summers lease has all too short a day. Sometime too hot the eye of of heaven heaven and often is gold is gold stephen and every fair from fair sometimes by chance or natures natures changing course untrimd. But thy eternal summer shall not fade nor lose possession of that fair fair fair thou owst. Oh, god stephen nor shall death brag thou wanderst in his shade, when in eternal lines to thou so so long as men can breathe or eyes can see stephen so so long lives this, and this gives life to and to stephen and scene. Thank you. cheers and applause so beautiful. That was wonderful. I hope they appreciate it. cheers and applause stephen so beautiful the hollars is out now. John krasinski, everybody. My new beer, stella artois, hey cois finished. The people will love it. Originally brewed for the holidays. Enjoyed ever since. Stella artois. Host one to remember an ovenbaked digiorno . Or waiting for delivery . Did you have that beard when we ordered . A hot, freshbaked crust . Or . Did we order extra soggy . Dont settle for delivery. Rise to the occasion. Its not delivery. Its digiorno. Oh my. What is it . Its samsung gear vr you put it in there. Push the play button. Oh. This is crazy oh my gosh whooooah wow youve gotta try this. But. 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On americas largest, most dependable 4g lte networks. Find out more at straighttalk. Com you never believed in fairytales. Knights in shining armor or happily ever after. But you believed when the right one came along, youd be ready. Time to shine. Orbit. cheers and applause stephen hey, everybody, welcome back. My next guest tonight is a very talented, very young actress and the costar of the hit supernatural series Stranger Things. Please welcome Millie Bobby Brown cheers and applause wow. This is very big. Stephen thank you for being here. Thank you so much. Stephen i have to say i love the outfit. You look fantastic. I know, its just fantastic. Stephen well, youre 12 yearsold. Youre the youngest guest ive ever interviewed. Thank you for being here. Its an honor. Stephen its an honor to have you. Im so excited. Thank you. Stephen people like this show is so popular and Everybody Loves your performance and people might say, youre an overnight success, but youve been acting since when . How old were you when you started . Its been a fouryear overnight success. Stephen wow. I havent been doing this for, like, you know, my whole life. I started when i was eight. Stephen just about 50 of it. Thats all. laughter just about, like so, im its very overwhelming in the best possible way. Its all very new. And its fantastic. Im so happy to be here with you guys. cheers and applause stephen well, the show takes place in the early 80s. Yes. Stephen did you have to do research on the early 80s . laughter did you ask your mom and dad, like, who was who was milli vanilli . Who were these it wasnt who. It was like, what, is that . You know . Stephen what do you mean . I didnt know what a record player was. And then i was like stephen do you like record players . Yeah, now i do. I got one for christmas. But then i was like, i dont know what that is. Its a square. Its got a circle no. And then, the crew was like, just play it. And i played it. And i was like why has it got that sick what . Stephen and you can put the needle down anywhere in the song you want, isnt that cool . And then you can flip it over stephen its great. Its pretty great, huh . Im really getting sic, like, im fed up with screens now, i want to go to stuff like this. Stephen yeah, and the art is really big on the album cover. I love adele, i love ed sheeran and amy winehouse, beyonce. laughter you know, and so i got the vinyl sounds like, this is my life now. laughter i mean stephen even better, even better. I know. Stephen now, in it, you hang out with four boys, okay, who all play dungeons and dragons. Yeah, dont know what that is. Stephen you dont know what dungeons and dragons is . No. Stephen oh, i was an original dungeons and dragons. I am one of those four boys. Which one, though . Thats the thing. Stephen the least popular one. laughter so you dont know dudgeons and dragons . No. Stephen because there is a creature, the demogorgon, in your show, thats also a reference to a creature in dungeons and dragons and i knew the reference immediately. I couldnt say demogorgon at first. They were like its demo when i started reading the script and i realized i had no lines it was really fun because then i actually got to read other peoples lines. And i would be like, no, thats your line. And hes like, you have no lines to learn so its easy for to you say that. Stephen thats right, you just sit there. Im like no, papa, no. laughter stephen its a spooky show. Do you get scared yourself . Like, does the show scare you. Oh, yes. Stephen no . Oh, it does. Im frightened about everything. laughter stephen everything on the show or just things in general. Just things in general. Stephen what scares you . Um, sharks. The dark. Stephen sharks and the dark. Sharks and the dark would be terrible. Bungalows. Stephen why are you scared of bungalows . Bungalows really freak me out. Stephen is that an english word for Something Different . No, its a house with no stairs. laughter stephen i dont understand i dont understand. What is it, because the bad creatures cant get up the stairs . No you have no place to escape. Youre on one level. laughter stephen but you can go out window because the house with the stairs, you go up to the second floor, the creatures got you trapped on the second floor. No, because no just no stephen why, because you can block the staircase with a chair or something . I dont know, i just feel safe with stairs. I dont run up stairs fast. Like, as you can see, i feel like i could trip. But dont i like stairs being around me. You know, like if i had a tantrum, i could just stomp the stairs, and my mom and dad would be, oh, shes annoyed. You know. laughter do you know what i mean . So, like, stairs just come in handy. laughter applause stephen ive got to get some stairs. Weve got to get some more stairs around here. Now, i understand that you have youve got a squad, right . A squad, yes. Stephen you have a squad. I didnt know what that means, and then im friends with mattie ziegler. Stephen wow, wow. I know. That was a big change in my life. And then clearly it states its my card. Stephen i understand theres a test you can give to be in your squad. Yeah. Stephen and i was wondering whether i could take the test to see whether i could make the cut to be in the squad. But can you . Stephen i dont know. Can you do it . Stephen i dont know. Is there a name for your squad . Do you have a special name . No, me and mattie are taking castings now. Stephen okay, id like to apply. Stephen colbert, new york city, and id like to apply to be in the squad, please. I was going to say age, but its okay. Dont worry. laughter applause its okay. Sorry. I was going to im sorry. Do you know what it is . Do you know what it is . Stephen do i know what my age is . Yes, i do. No, no, no, when i do my castings, im like, hi, guys, my names millie im 12years old. And i was like, i shouldnt say that. Anyway, lets go with the test, shall we . Stephen yes, shall we. What does bae mean . Stephen bae . Its your sweetie, like, your special one. Youre my bae. Stephen right. Your sweetie, your special one. Yeah, but what does it stand for . Stephen baby . No . Baby stephen is it baby . Is it true . Its not baby. No. Stephen whats a bae . Its like, youre my before anyone else. Stephen really . Yeah stephen i didnt know that. Hold on ill write this down. So that was did you just lick your pen . Stephen i licked it. I licked it. Oh, wow. Stephen you see, ill tell you why, when i was a child, when i was your age, we used goose quills. Oh, okay. All right. Stephen wed shake sand on it and fold it and give it to a pigeon. Go ahead. All true, all true, thats the 80s. laughter okay. I feel like thats the 50s. Okay, ready . What does lit mean . Stephen lit . Do you want me to give you an example . Stephen sure. This interview is lit. Stephen its super cool. Its happening. Anybody know what lit means . cheers and applause okay, well, thank you. Stephen its super cool. Its happening. Its like, this, party is lit. Stephen its super cool. Its happening. No. Stephen whats it mean . It means, like, its just raving. You know . Stephen its happening. Okay, well go on to the next question. Stephen im giving you a test next time. And lit stands for. . I dont know. It doesnt stand for anything. I dont think it stands for anything. Stephen it means little shavers should watch themselves. All right, so say you have to say right now, im tired. Stephen im tired. R. T. what does that mean . Stephen retweet . Yes stephen really . Yes stephen what how was i am tired . What a pleasure. Congratulations on your show. Thank you. Stephen Stranger Things is streaming now on netflix. Millie bobby brown, everybody ,,,,,,,,, stephen wow, what a show. I really loved doing that interview with de niro. It reminds me of a great little moment we had off camera that night with bobby. When we went to commercial bobby leans and he says to me, stephen, were not that close, please dont call me bobby. Millie bobby brown said the same thing. What can i say . Celeb life. Captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org are you ready yall to have some fun feel the love tonight dont you worry bout a thing no more its gonna be just fine its the late, late show cheers and applause reggie ladies and gentlemen, all the way from loredo, texas, give it up for your host the one, the only james corden