Transcripts For KPIX Mosaic 20161106

The dead so join me when we come back to look at these two important and often overlooked works of mercy. Thank you. Archdiocese of San Francisco overseeing eight cemeteriesa native san franciscan, welcome back to mosaic. Today, my guest is monica williams. Monica is the director for cemeteries. Shes a native san franciscan. Monica began working in the field of funeral and Cemetery Services in 1989. She is licensed as a funeral director and cemetery manager. She currently holds the position of secretary treasurer of the Catholic Cemeteries of the west and represents the archdiocese in the conference. She facilitated the parish Grief Support for several years. W monica thank you welcome, monica thank you it is so nice to have you we have been talking to much about the year of mercy and we have been sharing with our viewers about what it means that pope francis declared in year of mercy. We have been talking about how they can embrace the year of mercy and today we wanted to focus on two works of mercy that are not often talked about but are part of that loving of our neighbor that were commanded to do in the gospel, the mourning of the dead and the burying of the dead. I was hoping you could talk to us about that but before we dig into what that all means, i wanted toe hear more about what to hear more about what you do more specifically. I think you do this wonnerful, Important Ministry in our church and i wanted you to share with our viewers a little bit about what you do and some of the details of your work you used the key word there, ministry. What we do, weather working at a Catholic Cemetery or non Catholic Cemetery is ministry. When you are caring for people at a very tender time in their lives, extending compassion and support, that is an important thing and we have a very special opportunity to take care of people at a difficult time in their life your position, lets go step by step. When someone has a death in the family, they come to your work and what happens from there . We have a wonderful staff of counselors that take that call. Perhaps theyre in a position where they need to select a place for their loved one to be buried. Perhaps, they are using an existing plot. We walk through those choices and what it will be like the day of the service and of course our Ground Service who is responsible for opening the ground or the crypt on that day to make sure we have a peaceful space for reflection and prayer for people who come to visit. All of those pieces form what we do every day wonderful. I know youve been doing this work for quite some time. How did you get involved in it . What was the vocation journey there . As quite often happens, when got calls, he starts whispering and nudging a little bit and thats what happened. I took a summer job when i was in college. A parttime job that was intended to be just that, a parttime job at holy cross cemetery. Along the way, i fell in love with what we do there which is to take care of people at that difficult time. The history of a place like a cemetery is also fascinating to me. All of those stories that are collecting there. From there, i went on to work as a funeral director and consultant and ive been blessed to find that vocation in this ministry wow, and for anybody else who might feel called to this ministry, do you have any tips or ideas for them, any suggestions . One of the things i talk about a lot with people who are interested in a career in funeral or Cemetery Service is that its very important to have a balance. You always want to be very present, emotionally present and supportive to the family that youre supporting. You want to make sure that that part is real that, youre touched by their story but you cannot be so overwhelmed with their grief and their story that you cannot care for the family after that. So theres a great balance that have you to craft in this work and it is assisted monumentally by a gift of faith that gives us that sense that this is not the final goodbye, that this is simply the end of this part of the story and that we will see each other again and that helps to balance out that grief and that sadness that accompanies the loss very beautiful, definitely that this chapter that were talking about is not the end but just the beginning and as jesus died and then rose from the dead, this is our hope, that is our hope and directing people towards that a lot, wonder. Thank so much were going to come back after this small break to talk more with monica about the different works of mer city and how you can mercy and how you can engage in those acts of mercy. c1 [baby talk] [child giggling] child look, ma. No hands. Children i, j, k. [bicycle bell rings] [indistinct chatter] [telephone rings] man hello . [boing] [laughter] man you may kiss the bride. [applause] woman ahh. [indistinct conversation] announcer a full life measured in seats starts with the right ones early on. Car crashes are a leading killer of children 1 to 13. Learn how to prevent deaths and injuries by using the right car seat for your childs age and size. Welcome back. Im angela and with me is monica williams. We are talking about two of the works of mercy that we dont often hear about a lot in our work in the church but are so important, burying the dead and mourning the dead. The works of mercy, there are many different ones but we talk about the corporal and spiritual works of mercy. Corporal meaning work and physical activity. Mon dark it seems that there are monica, it seems that there are less and less christian burials today and i wonder if you can talk to us about is that your experience and why do you think that is . There is a trend to an increase in cremation. I think some people are under the impress that if you are impression that if you are cremated you dont have the opportunity to have a tune corral that is not funeral and that is not true. We have an entire ceremony that is guided towards cremation. We have prayers that take people through those moments in our tradition of christian funeral. So you can have an entire funeral with a vigil and a committal at the cemetery and be cremated. Theres also, i think, sometimes a sense that people have that they dont want a lot of extra things. They dont want to be the focus of too much attention. You know, you hear your mom say dont do anything special for me, its that kind of feeling sometimes. Really, what happens with funerals is it speaks to an internal need that all of us have as human beings to mark that something important has happened so when we take a look at our Society Today and as were talking, we recently had a terrible tragedy in orlando, weve had the deaths of beloved celebrities. The out pouring of people wanting to gather, wanting to tell that story, thats a basic human need. So even though sometimes with cremation, we realize that in some different ways, people still want to gather, want to remember, want to say a prayer, want to tell a story and were very blessed with our christian tradition that we have this ritual that is so rich in the words and music and the pacing together that we can use definitely. I hear what youre saying that as we look at some of those examples of some of the celebrities and tragedies in the recent news, you do see theres this natural desire to celebrate the persons life, the peoples lives, to remember them, the share those stories and people have naturally come together across the country in natural ways prayerfully. I think you hit on something important. I wonder what it is about cremation. Ive seen that and heard that that there is this growing trend towards that and i wonder why people think you dont need to have a funeral with that. Do you know why that is . I think some of that we have to as funeral and cemetery professionals have to take as our own responsibility. I dont think weve always done a good enough job in talking about the ways in which people can remember their loved ones within their own religious tradition or just personally so we bear some responsibility for that and as a church, we can do a better job of talking to m about what is the people about what is the tradition that we have about remembering people in this way for our viewers what would you want to share where them about burying the dead and how that might be helpful to them or something you might want to let them know about that might help them to understand how this service can be a beautiful way of celebrating someones life and burying the dead . I think one thing is important for people to know that people arent aware of is that its true that you can make this very personalized. A lot of times what we encounter today, Everyone Wants to personalize things. You have your own play list and things like that. That is possible within our catholic funeral tradition as well. When we sit down with people ahead of time when theyre beginning to plan for a funeral, we can talk about what are the songs that are meaningful to you, what are the readings that speak to the person that you are, what kind of videos or photographs can we show at the reception, at the gathering that tell the story of this life. We never want people to think that a funeral is boring or terribly sad. It is sad and thats okay. If were sad, it means we are really going to miss someone and we loved that person and its hard to avoid that sadness. A funeral gives us a way to work through that, to be supported by neighbors, parishioners, coworkers and family and to celebrate the life. The order of christian funerals is designed to be a celebration of life. We think of that as a modern term but thats an ancient term in our churchs teaching in how to conduct funerals. Its way celebration of life wonderful. So when you talk about people personalizing it, within our tradition of the church, does that mean they can bring in cultural things as well as, im thinking about my mother who is not dead but she wants a particular song, spirit in the sky, to be played at her funeral and so many people want particular things in culture that are not apartment of the himmal, theyre in order to part of the hymnal, theyre not part of the church but theyre meaningful to people i like to tell people there is a time and a place for everything. So when is that appropriate . Probably not at the communion of course not or the meditation, but it is appropriate to be the music of the backdrop of that video tribute. It is appropriate to be played while people are gathering at the vigil so theres always a way to incorporate something thats important. Either during the vigil, during the reception or in some cases, at the mass but our primary focus is the mass wonderful, thank you so much, monica. Its wonderful to learn how we can make this personal and make it meaningful. Thank you when we come back, were going to talk more about mourning the dead. , welcome back. Im angela pollack and with me is monica williams. Weve just wrapped up what burying the dead means and what that means but for many people, if they dont experience a loss, how can they engage in this work of mercy of burying the dead . We certainly dont wish funerals on people. We dont want that to happen. If someone wants to explore the different works of mercy, how do you bury the dead without having a loss or without coming to work for me, i think theres a practical way in that. If youre a person who can give financial donations to an organization or to Catholic Charities or the cemeteries, we all have funds set up that allow us to provide Burial Services to people who dont have family or who dont have Financial Resources and thats a practical way that people can engage in the burial of the dead and really act through mercy thats so great to know that through Catholic Charities, people can donate there, but what about for those, ive heard you mention before, people who do not have loved ones who can bury them, that theres other things that we can do for our brothers and sisters who are in that situation . We recently started a program working through archdiocese and through the parishes for people who want to be able to be present and pray the prayers of committal at the cemetery for people who otherwise would have no one to pray for them. Thats been a program thats just begun in this last year and has been a concrete way of engaging in that act of mercy by being present for people who dont have anyone that is such a beautiful work and its wonderful that you offer that. Again, should they contact your office if they are feeling called to do that . Any time anyone has questions about our ministry or how they can help, they can contact us. The easiest way is through holycrosscemeteries. Com wonderful somehow, shifting to the more spiritual side, when we talk about mourning the dead, how would you invite people to engage in this act of mercy during this special year . The spiritual work of mercy is a little easier for us. Praying for the dead, comforting those who mourn so just incorporating those who have had loss, being atent i at mass attentive at mass when were praying for the dead. At the cemetery on the first saturday of the month at 11 00, we gather as a community to offer mass for those interred at our Catholic Cemeteries. That goes back to the beginning of our arc die sis that we archdiocese that we pray for those that are dead and anyone can participate in that, in which chapel . In the all Saints Chapel. The all Saints Chapel is a wonderful reminder that we are all present to each other living and dead on this journey of faith in our life in christ thats beautiful. You know, they were talking about the mourning of the dead. I keep thinking about how in our Society Today, we talk a lot about grief, but we dont talk about a lot about mourning and i think there is a difference between the two and in order to mourn well, you know, its important to understand what it means first and im wondering if you would speak a little bit to that. What is it and how would you explain the difference between grieving and mourning . You use a wonderful phrase there, mourning well. Mourning or grieving which is closely related but slightly different, can become complicated. It can become complicated by broken relationships or programs the suddenness or violence perhaps the suddenness or violence of a death. Something that takes a loss that we mourn and take it to an emotional impact in our life and thats where we do grief work. Mourning is a natural, healthy response to a loss in our life. It says we lost someone that was important to us and they really mattered. Its bolstered when you live in a community of faith when you say that person mattered and you are missing them and that hurts but we have faith because we are a resurrection people that this is not the end and we will see each other again wonderful, wonderful. I think what you were saying before about how important burial is and the funeral process and there is this trend, ive definitely seen it, towards cremation and people not understanding that you can still have a funeral, i think to create that space to mourn, it starts with the funeral. It starts there where you literally have a space that you come together with other people. You remember that person that you love. You share stories, theres a space to shed tears, all of that is just so important. Do you have any final thoughts that you want to share . I would just encourage everyone to pray. Pray for your family members. Pray for us in our ministry and what we do. Pray for the people that we serve. The greatest gift we can give each other is to pray and its very obvious at a time of death and loss that that is what gets us through as a people of faith wonderful. Thank you so much for being with us. Thank you all for joining us. We will be praying for you. Join us again as we continue on our year of mercy journey. Some know her as kpix 5s consumerwatch expert. Others call her. newsmom is here. Welcome to bay sunday. My first guest is a familiar face. Some know her as consumer expert, others call her news mom julie watts. Thank you for joining me thank you for having me we have news on those epipens but first, explain this baby box . Parents in finland have been doing this for about 75 years. They give all parents who pass a state run course these baby boxes and its meant to teach