Oh hi, yes. Wow you really went all out on the decorations, huh . Yeah, but im so slow taking them down after all the fatty holiday food. But thats normal. What do you mean thats normal . It doesnt have to be. To me normal means feeling good inside. Not slow. Try some activia. Activia helps with occasional irregularity when eaten three times a day. Keep a video diary and let me know about your new normal. dr. Obyedkov nurse nurse [sighs] theres a consent from boston for the cancer drug trial. Any description of the process of previous trials . Yep. Any chance itd work . No. Its not even designed to work. Why would he its designed to treat depression in terminal Cancer Patients. He doesnt seem depressed. [door opens] [noisy sigh] okay, lets assume that i am dying. Which i specifically told you not to assume. Could we at least assume that im not dying tomorrow . Whereas this kid, pet revealed several more hot spots, but theyre nonspecific. How can you focus on him . Its the only way i can cope. Pet also showed a left brain thats working hard. Harder than the right . Wouldnt be worth mentioning otherwise. Bleeding in the brain. Blood would irritate the lining, might cause the seizures to get worse. Yes, he needs an angiogram to look at the vasculature inside his brain. Well get right on it, as soon as were finished here. Dont get up. I got it. Youre busy. Continue. You know what my team is doing right now . No. Theyre trying to figure out whats wrong with me. Whats wrong with you . Thanks for asking. They found out that im dying. Thats sad. Everyones dying. Thats sad. Meteor lands on my head tomorrow, its all academic. I told them to leave me alone, but did they . Ddid they . No, that one was rhetorical. Oh. No, they did not. What the hell were you before you hit your head . Hell is a bad word. Sos ass and bitch. I could probably rattle off 50 much more complicated and disgusting ones, but then your dad would get pissed at me. Do you like your life . What life . Your life. Playing the piano, going on tour. Scoring girls left and right. I dont like girls. Boys. Whatever gets you off. I like the piano. Whats wrong . Dr. Peter hayes . This is eric foreman at princeton plainsboro. Youre doing a signal transduction inhibitor clinical trial. What kind of results have you been transduction inhibitors are a decade away. Bye, pete theyve got another trial going on at duke. 15 extend their lives beyond five years. If youre positive for protein phf stop trying to save me. Im fine. Mra confirms small collections of blood throughout the white matter of patricks right hemisphere. Mind if we chat about that for a few moments . chase either trauma, an aneurysm, cancer, or autoimmune disease. We need a biopsy to figure out which it is. His eeg was nonspecific. Where are you gonna biopsy . Everywhere. Sure, just put on a blindfold and play pin the tail on the brain. Hes bleeding into his brain. Hes dying. You cant just randomly stab the temporal lobe and hope you hit the right spot. Well, im only gonna take little tiny pieces. Until what . Till i find the problem. Or you kill him. No, ill keep going even if i kill him. Then hes screwed. Thanks for the chat. What if we do the eeg from inside his brain . Im actually a little insulted. You were supposed to spend the last hour worrying about me. Its risky and invasive. But thats why god invented the long consent form. Can you get to why this is a brilliant idea . External eeg could get confused if there are multiple structural abnormalities. If we perform the eeg inside the skull, it could show us where to biopsy. Brilliant. Go. Do. Id also like to talk to you about this is gonna be personal, isnt it . Yeah. [joe purdys rainy day lament] foreman we use a small drill to get inside the skull. Where do you go when your luck runs out. dr. Obyedkov theres bleeding inside . foreman yes. As long as we have 12 holes, we can surgically implant the electrodes under the meninges against the brain. dr. Obyedkov and its either cancer or autoimmune disease . foreman sorry. Yeah. dr. Obyedkov which one is better . [foreman sighs] foreman neither. Wont you come inside with me today you could stay inside with me today cant you see its gonna rain . Hey. Where do we cut . We dont. I need to say something. Something personal. Yeah. And i cant leave because youve got Something Interesting in that file. Sorry. [sighs] youre an arrogant ass who makes it impossible for anyone to like him, by punishing people who dont deserve can we get to the but part of this speech . But i like you. No, you dont. Youre just reacting to the perception of my death. You need to put things in order. Fear of guilt would you shut up . See . I annoy you. Now are you gonna give me the results, or are you gonna. [sighs] intracranial eeg showed no electrical abnormalities. Which means its autoimmune. No, it also showed his entire right hemisphere is brain dead. [ male announcer ] lets go places. Not just the ones you can find on a map. But the ones you can find in your heart. Lets go beyond everything we know. And embrace everything we dont. And once weve reached our destination, lets keep going. Because inspiration doesnt favor those who sit still. It dances with the daring. Oh, oh, ohoh, oh [ male announcer ]. And rewards the courageous with ideas that excite, challenge, even inspire. Ideas that take you places you never imagined. Ideas big enough and powerful enough to make the heart skip a beat and, in some cases, maybe two. Toyota. Lets go places. [ man ] excuse me miss. [ gasps ] this fiber one 90 calorie brownie has all the deliciousness you desire. The brownie of your dreams is now deliciously real. Whats in your ear . Oooo acheck for more well, i guess i can double check. My watch [ male announcer ] it pays to double check, with state farm. [ female announcer ] mcdonalds dollar menu just keeps getting better. Introducing the allnew mouthwatering grilled onion cheddar burger, topped with melty white cheddar and caramelized onions. Plus all your tasty favorites for just a dollar each. Every day, as always, theres a lot to love for a little on mcdonalds dollar menu. So. While you guys were worrying about me, half this kids brain died. The only solace you should take from this is the fact that it didnt. Garden variety eeg sucks compared to the inbrain variety, but its not gonna miss brain death. Hes gotten worse. Not that much worse. Respiration is depressed, seizures are increasing, one every five minutes. Its not that much worse. He can still talk, and hes lefthanded, which means speech is in the right side. You dont know how patricks brain reorganized itself 25 years ago. What if the right side is just a little dead. Maybe he still has random neurons firing. Youre just looking for a puzzle to distract you from your own situation. Youre right. Hes dead. Lets go home. Its going to be all right . Im sor yes whats this . Piano. Whats this . Hes obviously lost use shut up. [first phrase of Scott Joplins the entertainer] [second phrase of joplins the entertainer] music is a global process. Cant play the piano with half a brain. Whats it mean . It means the right side of his brain has always sucked. It means its not relevant to whats going on now. Wow, then its autoimmune. Yeah. Question is, what do we do about it . Most likely ones we can fix. Polyarteritis nodosa, takayasu, or sarcoid. Ill start treatment. Not what i was talking about, but yeah. You do that. Your turn . Do you have to do that . You mean cheapen everyones attempt at a human moment by identifying the real calculations that go into it . Yeah. Yeah, i do. Im sorry youre dying. Im gonna hug you. Anything to say . Well, if youre considering grabbing my ass, dont start anything. You cant finish. Well, as long as were just standing here, do you mind if we work . Hows the kids treatment going . Are you crying . No. [sighs] respiration rates up. Seizures are calming down. Its all good. Not for what im gonna do next. But there is no next. Hes gonna be fine. Only if he wants to remain a fouryearold who wets his bed. Theres nothing else for him. Theres better. Thanks for the hug. [doorbell buzzing] its the middle of the night. You knew id be asleep. Phone wouldve woken you up just as much. And i cant see what youre wearing on the phone. My patient with the 55 iq has takayasu syndrome. Very uncommon. Happens mostly in asian women. Takayasu is manageable with steroids, which you already know. So i assume youre here for something else. My patient also has significant seizure problems. Also manageable with anticonvulsant medication. Yes, and if he kept taking his anticonvulsant medication, he could go back on tour and play the piano. But. A hemispherectomy would completely stop the right brain seizure activity and he would no longer need to take his anticonvulsant medication. You wanna remove half his brain. The right half, it would be irresponsible to remove the left. You dont remove half a brain and gain function. Not my brain. But his . Who knows . Look, lets say that im the left side of patricks brain. Im quickwitted, im charming, im great looking. Youre the right side of his brain. Youre useless, old, damaged. We go to a bar for a drink. Now, i have the mad skills to be scoring all the hot babes, but instead im spending my time wiping drool off your chin and making sure you dont eat the tablecloth. Whats the father wanna do . I dont know. So go wake him up. House. Im so sorry. Forgot i was dying, huh . Im here if you need me. I need you. One small feel for man. One giant ass for mankind. Thanks. Good luck in boston. Call the make a wish foundation. Dr. Foreman was just here. Seizures have almost completely gone away. Says we might be able to go home in the next day or two. Thank you so much. I think we should remove the right side of your sons brain. I thought you fixed him. Does he look fixed . Right side of his brain was keeping him walking straight. Other than that, its been dead weight ever since the accident. If we remove it, seizures would stop completely. But the seizures are hardly noticeable. They dont bother patrick. But without the seizures, the left side would have a chance to actually function. It could learn to do new things. Only bummer. Hed never play the piano again. No, the piano is everything. Im not saying hed ever work for nasa, but flipping burgers isnt out of the question. Well, i dont mind taking care of him so he can play the piano. No, youre actually lucky. You dont have to watch your kid grow up. You dont have to let go. You trying to make this about me . I love my son just the way he is. Hes a monkey grinder at the circus. Hes worked hard to get where he so does the monkey. The piano is a neurological accident. He has a gift. Im offering him a life. Its up to you. Ive isolated the cancer proteins in houses csf. bout time. We cant let him go to boston if he qualifies for the duke trial. You wanna do it . [softly] damn. Hes negative for protein phf. He doesnt qualify. Whats that . That shouldnt be there. Patrick. Hello, papa. Patrick, i have a question for you. Yes . Are you happy . Are you happy . [stifles a sob] [sad contemplative music] [knocking on door] foreman house, open up open up, its important ive got a flight in three hours. You dont have cancer. There was abnormal presence of igg and igm indicating i dont have neurosyphilis. My mri showed nothing its a gumma in your brain. Its very rare not to be in the liver, and im really glad we never slept together you wouldve used a condom. And i dont have syphilis. My vdrl was negative we did an fta antibody test, the vdrl was a false negative. Youre not going to die all you need is iv antibiotics did you send these results to mass general . Of course. You idiots. We just told you youre not gonna die. You should be making out with cameron. You knew it wasnt cancer . I was sure it was cancer. Then why arent you celebrating . Because it wasnt my damn file you faked cancer . The real patient is in the witherspoon wing. Feel free to tell his wife that hes not gonna die, but he is cheating on her. Why would you want us to think that you i didnt i wanted the guys in boston to think that i had cancer. I wanted the guys who were gonna implant a cool drug right into the Pleasure Center of my brain to think that i had cancer. You faked cancer to get high . [sighs] im going to bed. Youre right. I dont like you. Sure, now that im not dying. I heard patricks hemispherectomy went well. He survived the surgery. Hes unconscious. How depressed are you . Im not depressed. You faked cancer. It was an outpatient procedure. I was curious. Are you curious about heroin . Not since last years christmas party. [exhales forcefully] i know this goes against your nature, but can we not make too much of this . You made people think that you were going to die. I didnt make them i tried to hide it. But you idiots needed to get into my business. [laughter] im sure ill regret asking, but why are you laughing . Its ironic. Im sure ill regret asking, but why depression in Cancer Patients is not as common as you think. Its not the dying that gets to people. Its the dying alone. The patients with family, with friends, they tend to do okay. You dont have cancer. You do have people who give a damn. So what do you do . [laughter] you fake the cancer, then push the people who care away. Because theyre boring. Go home to your hotel room and laugh at that irony. Start small, house. Take a chance. Maybe something that doesnt involve sticking stuff in your brain. Pizza with a friend. A movie. Something. Follow my finger. Do you know your name . His Speech Center was on the right side. Itll be a while before hes talking. He hasnt really done anything except to stare off into the distance. Hell take some time to. [uplifting piano music] oh, uh. You buttoned your shirt. He looks happy. [gomez see the world] day to day where do you want to be . cause now youre trying to pick a fight with everyone you need you seem like a soldier whos lost his composure youre wounded and play a waiting game in no mans land no ones to blame see the world find an oldfashioned girl