The queens. And featuring the legendary roots crew. Questlove 554 steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh, welcome. Thank you enjoy yourself, enjoy yourself. Welcome. Thank you, guys. That means a lot. That makes me feel good. Thank you very much. Welcome. Thats a hot crowd right there. [ cheers and applause ] thats a hot thats a hot new york city crowd. Welcome to the tonight show, everybody. This is it. Youre here. Youre part of it. Thank you very, very much. Heres what people are talking about. The third and final debate between Hillary Clinton and donald trump is coming up in Las Vegas Next week. Thats right, and i saw that hillarys holding a contest where the winner gets to actually go watch it in person. [ laughter ] everyone was like, yeesh, what does the loser get . [ cheers and applause ] who wants to do that . But hillarys still dealing with all these leaked emails that are revealing all kinds of stuff. For instance, one of the emails shows that Hillary Clinton doesnt get along with chelseas motherinlaw. [ light laughter ] people have heard she doesnt get along with her inlaws, they thought, huh, maybe she is relatable. No, not to my inlaws, i love you guys. Wikileaks also reveals that former astronaut, edgar mitchell, wanted to meet with Hillary Clintons Campaign Chairman to discuss alien life. And hillary was like, trust me, if there were aliens, i already would have asked them for money. [ laughter and applause ] dear zorb, were still trying to reach our goal. But the best email thats been leaked so far claims that hillary met with rapper qtip last year to discuss how to appeal to hiphop fans. [ light laughter ] the big take away for hillary whatever you do, dont try to rap. Its like h to the i to the l to the other l to the a to the r to the y and that spells hillary thats my name and running for president is my game [ cheers and applause ] [ feedback ] jimmy i guess the meeting with qtip really affected hillary, because afterwards, she actually came up with some rapper names for herself. Steve really . Jimmy yeah. First, she tried lil wheezy. [ laughter ] then she tried run d. N. C. [ cheers and applause ] and finally, she tried wiz deleeta. [ cheers and applause ] you have to give her credit for trying. Steve yeah. Jimmy over on the republican side, i saw that two fundraising events featuring Donald Trumps running mate, mike pence, were canceled this week because of a lack of interest. You know, on the part of mike pence. Hes like, oh, yeah, i got to do this other thing. I saw that a trump supporter interviewed by cbs news said shes worried if Hillary Clinton gets elected that shell ban the phrase Merry Christmas. Well, hillarys actually programmed her phone to say Merry Christmas whenever she gets a news alert about trump. Its like, Merry Christmas. Haha hoowee [ applause ] speaking of trump, he brought up the prospect of losing the election this week, saying, if i dont win, it will be the single greatest waste of time, energy, and money. Then the guy who came up with Skechers Shapeups was like, eh, second greatest. [ laughter and applause ] [ cheers ] steve shapeups. Jimmy but the big story today is that trump said hes preparing a lawsuit against the New York Times for its recent articles about him. Trump says what theyre doing is wrong, and hes also one lawsuit away from a free one on his lawyers punch card. [ laughter and applause ] might as well try. This is really surprising. A new poll shows that an independent candidate named Evan Mcmullin is actually in a a threeway tie with donald trump and Hillary Clinton in the state of utah. Making the only time youll ever hear utah and threeway in the same sentence. [ cheers and applause ] its just very interesting. I saw thats the United NationsJust Announced that theyre naming wonder woman as a new honorary ambassador for empowering women and girls. [ scattered cheers ] and Michelle Obama said, yeah, go with the cartoon. Yeah, thats [ applause ] perfect. Thats no one no real women out there to [ light laughter ] finally, things arent getting any better for samsung. I saw that now theyre actually sending customers safety gloves to help them return the exploding phones. And theyre like, hold up. Turns out the gloves are exploding too. [ laughter and applause ] im sorry, how do we make an exploding we have a great show tonight. Give it up for the roots [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] boogie nights aint no doubt we are here to party dance with the boogie get down dance with the boogie get down cause boogie nights are always the best in town got to keep on dancing keep on dancing jimmy guys, halloween [ laughter ] steve i thought we were here to party. Jimmy i know, thats fun, man. That was good. That was a good jam. Guys, halloween is coming up and we want to do this fun thing on our show. Im going to need your help, though. Its called kids campfire. So if you have kids, age ten or under, i want you to have them write a scary story, something that you would hear around a a campfire. They should give it a title, keep it under a page or two. Aside from that, you can let their imagination do the rest. When theyre done, just take a a photo of their script or scan it, email it to kidscampfire tonightshow. Com. Teachers can do this, too. They can have their class do it. Just scary stories or Something Like that. Something youd hear around the campfire. Were going to choose our favorites and then ill read some of them on the show with some special guests. [ cheers and applause ] spooky. Steve spooky stories. Jimmy guys, it has been a a great week so far, and theres more ahead. Tomorrow night, our pal jon hamm will be here. Steve our pal [ cheers and applause ] jimmy i love him. Plus the hilarious miranda sings, aka Colleen Ballinger will be joining us. And well have music from kings of leon. Steve oh [ cheers and applause ] jimmy love those guys. Steve come on. Jimmy theyre always great. But first, we have a fantastic show tonight. Getting a lot of buzz here, award buzz from the new ang lee movie, billy lynns long halftime walk. The one and only vin diesel is here, you guys. [ cheers and applause ] thats gonna be good. Plus, he stars in the hugely successful show, the walking dead. Norman reedus is dropping by. [ cheers and applause ] i love those guys. You cant beat that show. This performance tonight is fantastic. Did you see this at all, quest . Questlove im waiting for it tonight. Jimmy oh, it is unbelievable. I think who told us about this . Our booker, julie, told us about her and showed us a clip. I think she worked with madonna, but its Something Like youve never seen before and its just fantastic. Im just so excited that we get to put this on television. Christine and the queens are here tonight, you guys. [ cheers and applause ] guys, it is time for tonight show hashtags. [ cheers and applause ] Hashtags Hashtags jimmy you guys are on twitter, right . Do you use twitter . [ cheers and applause ] we use twitter on our show every single week. So if you watch our show and you want to play along, we do this thing every wednesday. Ill send out a hashtag on wednesday and we ask you guys to tweet out things based on that topic. You know . So this week i went on twitter and i sent out a hashtag called ionceoverheard. So we asked you guys to tweet us something funny, weird, or embarrassing that you once overheard. We got thousands of tweets. Within 30 minutes, it was a a trending topic in the u. S. [ cheers and applause ] so, thank you so much for the tweets and playing with us. Now i thought id share some of my favorite ionceoverheard tweets from you guys. Here we go. This first ones from danielladerobbs. She said, i overheard a kid in my history class ask, whos lbj . another kid responded with, lebron james. [ laughter and applause ] duh. Steve duh. Hes a king. Jimmy this ones from djacksonbrown. She says, in the sistine chapel, i overheard a guy say, if it was me, i would have left the walls white. Would have looked bigger. [ applause ] this ones from mestrain66. She says, i heard a man sternly saying to his small child, we are not here to have fun. we were standing in the middle of disneyland. Like, i think we are here to have fun. [ applause ] you gotta take this teacup ride seriously. [ light laughter ] steve wipe that smile off your face. Jimmy this ones from cmacleanrdh. She says, i once overheard a a customer at our pharmacy ask the pharmacist how the nighttime cold meds know that its nighttime. [ laughter and applause ] steve yeah. How does it know . Jimmy just take it. Just take it. Ill pay for it. You just go. You take it and get out of here. Steve take it. Jimmy holy moley. Steve like a thermos. Jimmy this ones from themadisonreed. She says, i once overheard my grandpa say he was having a a hard time hearing. My grandma replied, well, put your glasses back on. [ laughter and applause ] give me the nyquil. This one is from maxbennett. He says, i heard a guy at a a bar talking to his beer. He said, i guess this is my life now. [ laughter and applause ] steve ouch. Oh jimmy maybe he was on the phone. I dont know. Steve yeah, maybe he was talking to his yeah, sure. Jimmy i dont know if that helps. This last ones from tracyhenry12. She says, when i was in the restroom at work, i overheard the lady in the stall next to me snoring. [ laughter and applause ] there you have it. Those are our tonight show hashtags. [ cheers and applause ] to check out more of our favorites, go to tonightshow. Com hashtags. Hart, who goes there . Kevin hart and i go to a a Haunted House when we come back. You dont want to miss it. Hart, who goes there . [ cheers and applause ] i tried hard to quit smoking. But when we brought our daughter home, that was it. Now i have nicoderm cq. The nicoderm cq patch with unique extended release Technology Helps prevent your urge to smoke all day. Its the best thing that ever happened to me. Every great why needs a great how. Im just sad thewhats wrong . Holidays are over. Theyre not over, old navys having an after holiday sale where its up to 75 off the entire store. 75 off . Yeah. What is that . Im celebrating dont dump that out i ju. Yaaaay heyyyyy its the Little Things that make life rich. Ritz. If you could see your cough, youd see just how far it can spread. Robitussin dm max is now better tasting, with the same fast powerful cough relief. Robitussin dm max. Because its never just a cough. vo its that time of year again. When you realize you still didnt get quite what you wanted. Thats why verizon has the best deals of the year on the best network. Like a free smartphone when you add a line or switch. No tradein required. Choose from the Samsung Galaxy j3, the lg k8 or stylo, or the the motoz play. All free. And as if you needed another reason, switch to verizon now and get up to 650 to cover your costs. Theres still time to get exactly what you want at verizon. Janurary 1st. From the minimum wage to kids car seats what you need to know come next week. Reveal and on twitter a cash strapped maryland mother goes on craigslist to ask for help buying christmas presents for her 6 children. The request went viral and money poured in from all over the country. Including a 10thousand dollar check from Rocknroll Hall of Famer Eddie Vedder of pearl jam. I like to know whats happening as soon as it happens. Who won the game, who won on the dancing show. I mean, if i watched that show. Same with my banking. With my bank of america mobile banking app, i can see my accounts all in one place. I can easily manage them and if something doesnt look right, im going to know. Plus, i can set up alerts to help detect unusual activity. So i feel secure. Wait, he won . Thats an average tango. At best. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy welcome back, everybody thank you so much for being here. Thank you for watching. Guys, earlier this week, kevin hart was on the show. We love kevin hart and now every time we hang out, we try to do something fun and exciting. So since halloween is coming up, we decided to go to new yorks scariest Haunted House. I dont like Haunted Houses. And i dont like being scared. Dont even think of doing it. I dont know why we even did this. But we taped the whole thing. So, it happened. So, please enjoy. [ applause ] jimmy hey, guys, im here with kevin hart. Now, last time we hung out, you and i road a roller costar. Remember that . Yeah. Yes i do remember that. Wasnt one of my best moments. Jimmy me neither, it was pretty scary but since halloween is just around the corner i want to try something even scarier. So today, were going to new yorks scariest Haunted House, blood manor. I got to be honest, roller coasters im okay. I can do a little bit. I do not like being scared. Im for real scared. You, heres, i want to say this. Jump out on me if you want to. Youre going get a boot to the neck. [ applause ] jimmy alright, not bad. Not bad. Get it. I get it. I get it. Its like a thing of snakes. Its going to, [ yells ]. Come on, jimmy. Youre making it worse. Youre making it worse, man. [ yelling ] hey, jimmy, look. Hey, give me your hand. [ screaming ] [ screaming ] i dont like this dark [ bleep ]. Jimmy with me . Kevin yo [ screaming ] jimmy whats up man . I dont know where to go. [ screaming ] [ screaming ] jimmy this way, this way, this way. Oh [ bleep ]. Oh [ bleep ] hey, jimmy, i farted. [ screaming ] i have gas. [ screaming ] come on, brother. I dont know what type of freaky stuff you into, but that needs to stop. Oh. Oh. Okay. [ light laughter ] jimmy no, no, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah. [ screaming ] go, go. Jimmys got all the cash. My bad. My bad. Go ahead. Jimmy i cant see anything. Be careful. [ screaming ] i cant see nothing. [ screaming ] whoa [ screaming ] [ screaming ] jimmy stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. You stop it [ screaming ] [ screaming ] jimmy let me out is that it . Is it over . Listen, if you guys watch this, man, at any point it looked like i was afraid, im an actor. [ light laughter ] come on, brother. Hey. Im out. Im out. Jimmy happy halloween, dude why dont you go [ bleep ] yourself, jimmy. Yeah. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy i love that dude. My thanks to kevin hart, the entire staff at blood manor in new york city. Go check them out this halloween. Well be bright back with vin diesel, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] come on why doesnt verizon offer unlimited data like tmobile . Is it because their lte network was built six years ago . Six years ago . Thats like a hundred. In phone years. Their lte network is older, slower, and they limit you. Switch to tmobile. The newer, faster, and unlimited network. We cover 99 of the americans verizon covers. Get 4 lines, just 40 a month. Rrowl. vo the old way of doing taxes isnt good enough. So, were about to blow it up. Dont just get your taxes done. Get your taxes won. No. They come from thes come stomach. Heart. Give the gift of quality time with an applebees gift card. And receive a 10 bonus card for yourself. Only at applebees. That i was on the icelandic game show. And everyone knows me for discounts, like safe driver and paperless billing. But nobody knows the box behind the discounts. Oh, its like my father always told me put that down. Thats expensive. Of course i save people an average of nearly 600, but whos gonna save me . [ voice breaking ] and thats when i realized. Im allergic to wasabi. Well, i feel better. Its been five minutes. Talk about progress. [ chuckles ] okay. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy our first guest stars in ang lees new film, billy lynns long halftime walk, which is in theaters on november 11th. Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for vin diesel [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] p yeah jimmy new yorks own. New york. New york, new york. Jimmy new yorks own vin diesel. Welcome home. How you doing, buddy . Thank you, man. I can tell im back in new york. I can tell im back in new york. Jimmy right . They love you. They love you. [ cheers and applause ] did you ever go to any Haunted Houses or any of that stuff in new york . I couldnt afford going to any Haunted Houses in new york, but it felt like every house in new york was haunted. [ laughter ] jimmy yeah, ive been to haunt yeah, i guess. You know what i mean . I was in a building that was haunted. A building called west beth. And, someone knows west beth. Jimmy no, that was a ghost. There was no one here. [ laughter ] there is no audience tonight. That was a ghost. That was definitely a ghost. And i grew up in this kind of, haunted building called west best, which was a wonderful building, miles davis recorded there. [ scattered applause ] jimmy hes a good ghost. That would be fun. Real legends recorded there. And but for some reason, it was haunted. Jimmy if i ever feel like theres a ghost, sometimes ive been in hotel rooms and i go, it feels like there might be a a ghost here. I just go, hey, im cool. Yeah. [ laughter ] thats how i am. Jimmy assuming they can hear me but i just send that vibe out. Like, what are you gonna do . I got no problem with you. You got no problem with me. Jimmy take whatever what are you going to do . You going scare me . Thats not gonna get you anything. You want to talk to me . Im bored. Lets talk. Jimmy yeah, talk to me. Lets get it over with. I need to go to sleep. Tell me how it was back in the day. Jimmy yeah, id be interested to hear. Id love to have an interview. I wanna know id love to talk to a ghost. Jimmy i have a schedule right . I would. Jimmy well, i mean, thats not me. Im good. [ laughter ] im done with talking to ghosts. That was so scary for me. I dont wanna do that thing. That was like really i dont like getting scared at all. I mean, halloween, do you get all do you get into halloween . Do you dress up and stuff . You got kids. Now with kids, yeah. I used to dress up a lot. The whole halloween parade started in my building, that i grew up in. Jimmy oh really . Yeah. Jimmy i love the halloween parade. I didnt know that. It started in my building, so w