Mixtape, and featuring the legendary roots crew. Questlove 584 yeah steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thank you very much. Oh, welcome. Enjoy the show. Welcome to the show. Welcome, everybody. Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Welcome. [ cheers and applause ] welcome to the tonight show. This is it, baby. [ cheers and applause ] this is the show to be at. This is the show tonight. Welcome, everybody. Wow, what a great crowd. Guys, heres what everybodys talking about. I saw that al gore met with donald trump today to discuss Climate Change. [ light laughter ] they probably talked about how Climate Change could lead to massive floods in places like new york city. Trump was like, thats why i live on the 58th floor. [ laughter ] when it gets around 57, i bring the yacht around. [ applause ] the other big news is that trump appointed ben carson as his secretary of housing and urban development. [ laughter ] that means that trump talked with ben carson and al gore in the same day which is [ laughter ] kind of like popping an ambien before you watch the weather channel. [ cheers and applause ] meanwhile, trump announced that the ceo of disney will be advising his transition team. [ laughter ] thanks to him, trump wont have to build a wall anymore. Hell just charge so much for admission that nobody will want to come in. [ cheers and applause ] and donald trump is still trying to decide who to nominate for secretary of state. Hes reportedly considering david petraeus, mitt romney, rudy giuliani, john bolton, and jon huntsman. Apparently trump is taking them all on a group date tonight, and one of them gets to join him in the fantasy suite. [ laughter and applause ] [ as trump ] lets go to the fantasy suite. Take you in a helicopter. [ laughter ] this is cool. The white house Just Launched a a new app where you point your phones camera at a dollar bill and a 3d image of the white house pops up that you can explore. The kids call it a cool thing to play with, while nicholas cage calls it [ as cage ] a hidden map to unspeakable treasures. [ laughter and applause ] you dont know whats in there. Who, why, where. In tv news it was announced that showtime has canceled its series, masters of sex. [ audience aws ] men said it went on long enough and women said it ended way too soon. [ applause ] actually, i just saw a new study that finds that wearing socks while having sex may make it more enjoyable. While wearing socks with sandals will make sex highly unlikely. [ laughter ] i read that. I read that today. Steve thats a good study. Jimmy and check this out. Steven hawking filmed a new Public Service announcement about obesity, saying people eat too much and move too little. [ laughter ] so, it got weird when hawking added yo mama so fat, when she gets on the scale, it says, one at a time. [ laughter ] jimmy oh, my gosh. One at a time . Steve one at a time . Jimmy why would he say that . Why would he say that . Thats not nice of him. Steve thats rude. Jimmy thats not nice of him to say that. Yo mama so fat she walked past the tv and i missed three episodes. [ applause ] jimmy she walked in front of the tv steve three episodes. Jimmy and he missed three episodes. Steve not one episode, three episodes. Jimmy i cant believe hes saying that stuff. Enough. Yo mama so fat, santa sits on her lap. Jimmy ill give you that one. [ applause ] ill give you that one, steve. Santa sits on her lap. Steve yeah, thats how large she is. [ laughter ] jimmy finally, you guys, i read that [ laughter ] i read that the new uber update tracks where you go for five minutes after your car drops you off. [ audience groans ] some users say its creepy. Then they went back to getting in a car with a stranger and telling them exactly where they live. [ laughter ] we have a great show tonight. Give it up for the roots [ cheers and applause ] jimmy hi, everybody. Big show tonight. It is monday. Were so happy to be back. We have a big week of shows coming up. Tomorrow night chris pratt will be here. [ cheers and applause ] and were going to be doing a a little mad libs theater together. It will be fun. Plus we have katie holmes is coming on and john mayer will be joining us. [ cheers and applause ] then later this week, we have edward norton, robert de niro, pharrell williams, and Dwayne Johnson all dropping by. Its going to be good. Steve wow [ cheers and applause ] jimmy but first, joining us tonight, she is a terrific actress. Her new movie 20th century women is full of amazing performances, Annette Bening is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] yeah. Shes my pal. Shes awesome. Steve wonderful. Jimmy annette, the roots, and i are going to play family feud right after this commercial break. So you dont want to miss it. Its good. Should be good. Should be good. Are you playing with us . Steve no. Jimmy youre not. [ audience aws ] well, maybe because we have a a special guest coming. Steve ooh. [ audience oohs ] jimmy plus, hes the Emmy Award Winning host we dont. [ laughter ] but we might. Steve we dont know, right . Jimmy i love this dude. I want him on the show every single night. I cant get enough. Steve pure energy. Jimmy hes just positive and funny. Gosh, just love this guy. Hes the Emmy Award Winning host of the steve harvey show. This is his new book called jump. Steve harvey is stopping by tonight. [ cheers and applause ] how do you not like that guy . Hes a good dude. And we have great music tonight, oh my gosh, have you been getting compliments on this, quest . Questlove yeah. Jimmy questlove is produced this with Linmanuel Miranda and tariq. [ cheers and applause ] and im on it. I make an appearance on it. Questlove youre on it. Jimmy i may have or may not have played the track 30 times. Just to try to get my count up on spotify. [ laughter ] exactly. I just want the popularity. Everybodys looking at the jimmy fallon song. Yeah right. It is the greatest all the work that went into this, congratulations, man. We have music from the hamilton mixtape tonight. [ cheers and applause ] are you doing my shot . Questlove yeah. Jimmy busta is busta is here . [ cheers and applause ] questlove busta rhymes, yes hes here. Jimmy busta rhymes is here . [ cheers and applause ] questlove he is. Jimmy what more could you want . Steve what more do you want . Jimmy what a great show. Hey, guys, i read something that really disturbed me recently. Steve whats that . Immy American Kids are ranked 30th in the world in terms of math skills. Steve ugh. Jimmy nobody seems to know how to turn this around. I think the problem is that todays kids just cant relate to oldfashioned things like numbers. [ laughter ] so, weve updated math to make equations more about modern stuff that kids can relate to in a segment called popular mathematics. Check it out. [ cheers and applause ] popular mathematics mathematics [ laughter ] popular mathmatics [ laughter ] jimmy do you understand the bit . Steve no, i do not. Jimmy all right, let me tell you. [ laughter ] heres the first equation here. If you take an iguana. Steve sure. Jimmy you plus cocacola, equals iggy pop. [ laughter ] do you see what im saying . Do you understand . Steve almost. Jimmy almost . Let me give you another example here. Steve give me another one, please. Jimmy if you take the grinchs smile steve sure. Jimmy plus the loraxs hair, it equals donald trump. [ laughter and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] you see what im getting at . Steve almost. Jimmy if you take mitt romney steve mitt romney jimmy plus two sips of beer. Steve two sips of beer jimmy it equals lit romney. [ laughter and applause ] whoa, whoa, whoa. [ applause ] steve macarena . I understand the macarena. Jimmy if you take an office party steve office party. Jimmy plus mistletoe. Steve okay. Jimmy it equals the hr department. [ laughter ] its just a bad idea. Just dont do it. Its a bad idea. No. Heres another one. If you take ron weasley steve ron weasley, yes. Jimmy plus a bakery. Steve ron weasley, bakery. Jimmy it equals a ginger bread man. [ laughter ] a gingerbread man. Steve thats making a a little more sense. The fog is lifting. Jimmy if you take Kevin James Steve kevin james. Jimmy plus snoop dogg. Steve snoop dogg. Jimmy it equals james blunt. Do you see what im saying . [ cheers ] do you get the idea of it, at least . Steve i at least get its some sort of mathematics without numbers. Jimmy if you take Neil Armstrong steve love Neil Armstrong. Jimmy add a lawn mower steve sure. Jimmy plus Mike Tyson Steve yep jimmy it equals Neil Degrasse tyson. [ laughter and applause ] steve heyoh dont kneel on de grass. Jimmy finally steve one more example and i think ill have it. Jimmy if you take mr. T steve mr. T jimmy plus an animated gif, it equals tgif. There you go right there [ cheers and applause ] thats all the time we have for popular mathematics. Well be right back with more of the tonight show. [ cheers and applause ] Liberty Mutual stood with me when i was too busy with the kids to get a repair estimate. I just snapped a photo and got an estimate in 24 hours. My Insurance Company definitely doesnt have that. You can leave worry behind when liberty stands with you™ Liberty Mutual insurance youany profession,ob, image matters. I want some gray. But not too much. Only touch of gray uses oxygen to gently blend away some gray, but not all for that perfect salt and pepper look. Satisfaction guaranteed. Just you and the look you want. 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Give it up for steve harvey [ cheers and applause ] mr. Fallon, how are you . Questlove, whats up, man . Thank you, folks. [ cheers and applause ] all right. Lets do it. Yeah. All right. Well. [ cheers and applause ] well, hows everybody doing . [ cheers and applause ] well, folks, welcome to the tonight show family feud. Im your man, steve harvey. [ cheers and applause ] all right. We got a good one for you tonight, everybody. From philadelphia, p. A. , its the roots family. [ cheers and applause ] i like that. I like that, boys. That looks like the victory pose there. And from, well, i dont i dont know where theyre from. Its the 20th century women family [ cheers and applause ] all right. Its time to play feud. Give me jimmy, give me questlove. [ cheers and applause ] all right, fellas, lets go. We got the top four answers are on the board. Here we go. We surveyed the tonight show audience for this. [ cheers and applause ] name an animal that some people sound like when they laugh. [ family feud ring ] jimmy im going to say a a hyena. [ cheers ] a hyena. [ ding ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thats what im talking about. You gonna pass or play, jimmy . Jimmy huh . Pass or play . Play lets keep racking up some points. Theyre going to play. Jimmy were going to play, absolutely. [ cheers ] now, folks, heres another thing you have to keep in mind. Were only playing with two strikes. [ audience oohs ] hi, annette. Hi. Love you, darling, for real. Name an animal that some people sound like when they laugh. A parrot. [ laughter ] im really sorry. Jimmy wow. Good a no, thats good. That was fine. [ laughter ] polly want a cracker. A parrot. [ buzzer ] jimmy ooh, all right. No problem. Theres only one strike. Greta. Greta, only one strike but you only get two, and then we go over there, and i promise you, they dont know this one. [ laughter ] greta, name an animal that some people sound like when they laugh. A cat. A cat. [ laughter ] meow, meow, meow. [ laughter ] jimmy whats up . All good . Which one was that . Meow, meow, meow. [ laughter ] do it again. Jimmy meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. Its very common. Its very common. That has got to be up there somewhere. Thats got to be up there. Oh, that has got to be up there somewhere. You do it. You do it. Meow, meow. [ laughter ] all right. Jimmy absolutely. [ talking over each other ] a cat. [ buzzer ] [ audience aws ] jimmy oh, all right. All right. Quest and the roots, its your chance to win it, man. Yall can steal it. Name an animal that some people sound like when they laugh. Questlove we are going to go with horse. Good answer, good answer. [ applause ] let me hear it. Tariq me . Yeah, let me hear it, the horse laugh. [ imitates horse whinny ] [ laughter ] wait. Oh, wait. [ applause ] come on, tariq, do it one more time. [ imitates horse whinny ] [ laughter ] meow, meow, meow. [ imitates horse whinny ] come on, quest, you do it. Yeah. Come on, jay. [ oinking ] [ laughter ] [ applause ] youre a damn musician. How you cant make a sound . Youre musicians. You play by ear. Give me the horse. [ imitates horse whinny ] there it is. Thank you very much. Its a horse [ cheers and applause ] all right. All right, lets see what the remaining answers were. Number four. [ ding ] donkey. Number two. [ ding ] all pig. Wow. That was good. Hey, lets go to question two. Give me annette benning. Give me tariq trotter. [ cheers and applause ] all right, guys, here we go. Name a part of the body that often itches. [ family feud ring ] feet. [ laughter ] your feet. [ buzzer ] annette . Nose. Your nose. [ ding ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy yeah pass or play . Im pretty sure were gonna play. Jimmy lets play, yeah. Here we go. All right. Greta. Yes . Your chance to redeem yourself. Cat laugh. Name a part of the body that often itches. My ankles. [ laughter ] no. This is youre giving embarrassing answers. [ laughter ] some of your answers are going to have to have a possibility of being up here. Doesnt anybody elses ankles itch . No. Who ankles just itch . Come on. Right . Thats like prime mosquito territory. Thats prime mosquito territory. Yeah. Okay. Well, thats true. Lets see if its up there. Jimmy great point. [ laughter ] [ buzzer ] jimmy, you got one strike, only one left. You got to be careful. The roots family can steal. Name a part of the body that often itches. Say it. Jimmy what are testicles . [ laughter ] testicles. [ ding ] [ cheers and applause ] all right. Nice save. Annette, only one strike. One more, they can steal. Be careful. Name a part of the body that often itches. Your butt. [ cheers and applause ] this is a late night show, annette. Lets go a little deeper than that. Jimmy here we go. Whats the alternative late night show word, which is the show i want, name a part of your body that itches . Your bottom. [ laughter ] did i go the other direction . Jimmy no, no, no its great. This is a Christian Lady right here. [ light laughter ] she went from butt to bottom. One more time, annette. Your ass. Yes [ cheers and applause ] your ass [ ding ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy fantastic that was great. Jimmy i love it. Just go with it. [ laughter ] you got a great career. Youre acting, youre in movies. Dont even worry about this. You are not going to get this. Name a name another part of your body, other than annettes hard to reach ankle, that often itches. Your scalp. Your head. Wow. [ cheers and applause ] wow. Right . That has possibility. Your scalp. [ ding ] [ cheers and applause ] hey, lets go to our third round and final question. This is a tie breaker. Give me greta. Give me james. All right. This is a tie breaker. This is the last round. This is worth triple the points, so its anybodys game. Someone could win it here. Jimmy come on, greta, you can do it. Come on, greta. Come on, greta. This is like this could be like the first thing that comes to your mind. [ laughter ] name a song that has the word christmas in the title. [ family feud ring ] wish you a merry christmas. I wish you a merry christmas. [ ding ] ooh. [ cheers and applause ] two answers can top it though. All i want for christmas is you. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy not you, steve. Thats the name of the song. Oh. Jimmy the name of the song. I was looking at her trying to work that out. All i want for christmas is you. [ ding ] jimmy we won [ cheers and applause ] we won, we won, we won you got to guess all the others. You dont get the points yet. Jimmy we had to get number one, we did it, right . No, that aint how the hey, man. Hey, listen. You aint the only one on tv, jimmy. [ light laughter ] there are other shows. Let us people with lesser numbers win. Give us a [ light laughter ] jimmy you know what im talking please, give me a a break. You own you rule television right now, my friend. Thank you, sir, thank you. [ laughter ] okay, jimmy, here we go. Name a song that has the word christmas in the title. [ laughter ] jimmy do they know its christmas. What . Jimmy do they know its christmas . [ light laughter ] do they know its christmas . Thats thats a song . Do they know its christmas . Jimmy its a lot of yeah. Do they know its theres a a lot of ill check with the black dude. [ laughter ] do they know its christmas . [ buzzer ] jimmy i dont know why i did that. Only one strike. Annette, we need one strike or they get a chance to steal. You can do it, though. Annette, name a song that has the word christmas in the title. All i want for christmas is my two front teeth. All i want for christmas is my two front teeth. [ buzzer ] [ audience ohs ] questlove. Questlove whats up . This could win the championship. This is all or nothing. Questlove uhhuh. This is on the line. If you can pull this out, you steal, your team wins the game. Quest, this is your shot. Name a song that has the word christmas in the title. Questlove white christmas. [ cheers and applause ] white. Questlove white. Say it one more time. Questlove white. White christmas. Questlove white christmas. Im dreaming questlove dreaming of a a white christmas. [ laughter ] none of my family coming over. [ laughter ] white christmas. [ ding ] [ cheers and applause ] we have a champ. We have a winner. Its the questlove and the roots family, man. [ cheers and applause ] well see you next time on the feud. Thanks, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] o