Transcripts For KNTV The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

Transcripts For KNTV The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon 20161104

And featuring the legendary roots crew. Questlove 564, Seattle Steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh, hello [ cheers and applause ] hola. Hi, everybody. Welcome. Welcome, everybody. Welcome to the tonight show. [ cheers and applause ] this is it. This is the show you want to be watching, and youre here, you made it, and thank you so much. How great was the game last night . Oh, my goodness. [ cheers and applause ] one of the best games ever. Congratulations to the chicago cubs who won their first world series in 108 years. Oh, my gosh. When asked how it was to witness history, cubs fans said, i dont remember. [ laughter and applause ] not now. Too loud. This was big, though. Cubs catcher david ross became the oldest man ever to hit a a home run in game seven of the world series. [ cheers and applause ] yeah. It was great. It was a good moment. You could tell he was old, because after the homer, he used a stair lift to get back into the dugout. [ laughter ] i just love that statistic, though. David ross is the oldest player to ever hit a home run in a a game seven of the world series. Its just maybe theyre just trying to fill time, but they were just so many stats from the announcers last night. And some of them were just a a little ridiculous, very specific. I mean, for instance, they said cubs first baseman Anthony Rizzo has a postseason slugging percentage of. 492, which is also the verification code on his mastercard. [ laughter and applause ] no one should have to know that. Steve why would they tell you that . Jimmy they said it. They also claimed clevelands mike napoli is the only player to ground into a double play in the same month that Gilmore Girls premiers on netflix. [ laughter and applause ] thats true, but steve you need it. Jimmy i dont know. Steve it helps me. Jimmy then they said the indians outfielder ,coco crisp is the first player in world Series History to double twice off the same pitcher, while also being named after a sugary breakfast cereal. [ applause ] okay, that one ill give them. Steve that ones good. Jimmy and finally, they mentioned the tarp used during last nights rain delay was once a poncho worn by new jersey governor chris christie. Thats not true. [ cheers and applause ]. Steve that cannot be true. Jimmy theres no way thats true. [ applause ] another big story is that cubs Team President , theo epstein, how about this guy, unbelievable. Hes now ended world series droughts for both the chicago cubs and the boston red sox. Wow. Now hes going to take on his toughest job yet, president of radio shack. [ laughter and applause ] i dont know how hes going to do it. Actually, theo epstein said last night that hes going on a a monthlong bender to celebrate. And hillary said, if you can wait five more days, ill join you. [ laughter and applause ] but hillary did really send out a tweet congratulating the cubs on winning, and then trump sent out a tweet criticizing the indians for putting his casinos out of business. He got the wrong [ laughter and applause ] but in her tweet, hillary told the cubs, way to make history. Hillary said nothing is more inspiring to her than seeing someone blow a lead, come back, then blow it again, then somehow still win the whole thing. That would be amazing. [ laughter and applause ] but a new poll shows that Hillary Clinton is ahead of donald trump in colorado by three points. Then people in colorado said, but with two more months to go in this thing, who knows what may happen. [ laughter and applause ] get this. I read that both donald trump and Hillary Clintons Election Night parties will be held here in new york city. [ cheers and applause ] and win or lose, the dancing will be terrible at both of them. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy the only the only dance i know. I was a new kid for a while. Steve you were, for two weeks. Jimmy this was kind of surprising. The New York Times magazine said as of this summer, bill clinton still had a locker at Donald Trumps westchester golf club. Even stranger, it was in the womens locker room. [ laughter and applause ] oops, did i come in here by mistake again . My bad. [ laughter ] i should just stay. I mean [ laughter ] finally, i read that if Hillary Clinton becomes president , she has pledged that had 50 of her cabinet will be female. [ cheers ] and critics say she should just pick the people whod be best at the job. Then hillary was like, youre right, it should be 100 female. [ cheers and applause ] got a great show tonight. Give it up for the roots [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh, yes steve what a show jimmy it has been a great week so far. Theres more ahead. Tomorrow night, dana carvey and alicia keys will be joining us. Steve yeah [ cheers and applause ] jimmy i love both those guys. And of course, well have thank you notes. You dont want to miss that. We do that every friday. But first, he stars in the new marvel movie, doctor strange. [ cheers and applause ] thats right. And hes hosting saturday night live this weekend. [ cheers and applause ] my man, Benedict Cumberbatch is here [ cheers and applause ] plus, shes the host of the Rachel Maddow show on msnbc, our friend Rachel Maddow is stopping by as well. [ cheers and applause ] maybe well have a cocktail. And we have great music. Gosh, every time he comes on, either with his band, my morning jacket, or solo stuff, jim james, or as yim yames. Steve yim yames. Jimmy he was yim yames. Yeah, and now hes is he back to jim james . Questlove hes back to jim. Yes. Jimmy hes just jim now. Questlove just jim. Jimmy one word. Steve jim. Jimmy just jim. Like cher. Yeah, exactly. Now, hes unbelievable. And i think still to this day, my favorite musical performance was a new life questlove a new life, yeah. Jimmy on late night that we did. If you go on youtube, its probably out there somewhere. I dont know. It was one of the coolest right . Everybody did a great job. Our director, our crew, jim, the roots were awesome. They played with, like a a marching band. Remember frank knuckles, that was a starring role for you. [ light laughter ] and it was it was really anyway, i love him, and tonight, he just is amazing as he always is. I love him. Jim james is here tonight. Steve yeah [ cheers and applause ] jimmy he is fantastic i love him guys, it is time for tonight show hashtags. Here we go. [ cheers and applause ] Hashtags Hashtags jimmy you guys are on twitter . [ cheers and applause ] we use twitter on our show every single week, so if you want to play along, we do this thing every wednesday, or as i call it, wednesday. [ laughter ] i send out a hashtag, and we ask you guys to tweet out things based on that topic. So, since the chicago cubs finally won the world series last night [ cheers and applause ] even though some people thought it might never happen, i went on twitter and sent out a hashtag called, that happened. I asked you guys to tweet out something weird, funny, or unbelievable that really happened to you. Man, that game was fun last night. Questlove it was. Jimmy we watched it we watched it with the writers and some of the staff at the show. We went to 4040 club. Steve mmhmm. Nice. Jimmy yeah. That was pretty it was happening. But we had the big screen on and we were all watching and there were people from chicago that work here at the show and just so funny. And so albertino is so superstitious. She thought she had to watch the whole game squatting. [ light laughter ] every time shed sit up, theyd score a run or something. So she sat the whole game watching like that, like, freaking out. And then questlove came and maybe stayed for about ten minutes. Questlove yeah. I left because i thought i was jinxing the game. [ laughter ] jimmy questlove came and the indians scored three runs and tied it up. Questlove its known that i jinx games. Any game that i watch, i jinx. Jimmy you really just took off. Like im out, im out, im out. Bye, bye, bye. Questlove i literally ran out like the koolaid man through the wall. [ laughter ] jimmy anyway, well, they ended up winning, it was a a great game and props to cleveland. [ cheers and applause ] cleveland indians, classy, played good baseball. Guys, we got thousands of tweets. Within 30 minutes, it was a a trending topic in the u. S. [ cheers and applause ] so thank you for those tweets. And i thought id share some of my favorite that happened tweets from you guys. Remember, higgins, this is that happened. This ones from klarac91. She said, got a speeding ticket, and sped away when the cop handed it to me, because i was so mad. He pulled me over again and gave me another ticket. There you go. [ cheers and applause ] steve that happened. Jimmy that happened. This ones from cutebricks. She says, once my boyfriend told me he wanted to have a a romantic walk on the beach. He actually took me to see a a dead whale he had heard about on the news. [ applause ] steve it blew up. Jimmy you want to see a a dead whale . When the night has come stand by me 2. [ laughter ] this ones from markwinterton. He says, in kindergarten, i put on my coat in the morning and forgot that i wasnt wearing a shirt until i got to school. [ laughter and applause ] steve whats up . Jimmy whats going on, teach . Whats happening . That child was flea from red hot chili peppers. Steve are you serious . [ laughter ] shirtless to this day. Vladimir putin. [ laughter ] jimmy this one is lisamurray89. She says, i waited behind a a group of mannequins for 20 minutes in the store thinking it was a line. [ laughter and applause ] steve come on. Jimmy guys, stop texting. Steve this cashier is the worst. [ laughter ] jimmy this one is from whappy. Steve what . Whappy . Jimmy whappy. Steve whappy . W,h . Jimmy yeah. Steve whappy. Jimmy not whacky. Steve not wacky but whappy. Whappy. Jimmy whappy. [ whip crack ] steve that happened. Jimmy whappy. [ whip crack ] steve that happened. [ laughter ] jimmy can we get a whip sound, fred . Can you work in a whip sound . And ill say, that happened, as we do it . whappy52. Steve that happened. Its a living. Jimmy all right. [ whip crack ] [ whip crack ] all right, stop fred, fred, fred [ laughter ] is he all right . Can make sure freds okay . [ laughter ] make sure fred our sound guy is okay. It sounds like he was that sounded a little that sounded serious. Thank you, fred. Steve yikes. Jimmy everyone was out late watching the game last night. Steve that happened. [ whip crack ] [ whip crack ] [ laughter and applause ] jimmy stop, fred, stop stop at this point, its a disaster. Whole night is a disaster. Steve that happened. That happened. Jimmy all right. She says, my dog pooped on the neighbors lawn, i ran home to get a bag, returned to find my neighbors blaming each other. I just walked away. [ laughter and applause ] you guys figure this out. Its definitely someone. Steve thats not from a a dog jimmy this one is from dna6971, he says, i got scared by the reflection of my own eyeballs while peaking through the blinds. [ laughter ] this ones from joshuaqdaily. He says, at a red light, i saw a guy get out of his car and grab a bag of taco seasoning from his windshield. [ laughter and applause ] i guess its like a chip clip. Yeah. Steve what am, i going to do with this taco seasoning . Jimmy thats where he keeps his taco seasoning. This ones from bengalgirl68. She says, i was mad at my kids, so i punted the head off a snowman we just made. It was a solid block of ice, it broke my foot. Well, that is karma. That is karma. [ laughter and applause ] punted off the head of a a snowman . Steve like a round house kick . Jimmy whats wrong with people . [ laughter ] from sweetiepie. She says, got out of a taxi and my skirt ripped open. I leaned up against a wall. It was the window of a a restaurant. [ laughter and applause ] there you have it, those are our tonight show hashtags. Check out more of our favorites. Go to tonightshow. Com hashtags. Stick around. Well be right back with Benedict Cumberbatch. [ cheers and applause ] the easiest decision youll make all week is to shop kohls this weekend because kohls will give you tax break savings with an extra 10 percent off and an extra 10 dollars off your purchase of 25 dollars or more everyone gets kohls cash too kohls. One smart choice leads to the next. The new 2017 ford fusion is here. Its the beauty of a wellmade choice. Has be identied as aissing18 ye thunder. The firstatch upetweene old te the okhoma thder atthe ot was epic. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy our first guest stars in the new marvel movie, doctor strange, which opens in imax, 3d, and theaters on friday. Yeah, sure. [ cheers and applause ] hes also hosting saturday night live this weekend with [ cheers and applause ] theyre having a great season, musical guest solange. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Benedict Cumberbatch. [ cheers and applause ] hi, you look great. Thank you. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. Jimmy wow, very excited. Velvet. You want to stroke it, jimmy . Jimmy i do. I want to stroke it. I do. [ talking over each other ] thats the corduroy stroke it. Jimmy corduroy stroke it, yeah. Your hand would disappear into another world. [ light laughter ] jimmy congratulations, i got to say to you, because you had a little baby. I did indeed. [ cheers and applause ] we had one and we expect another. Thank you. Jimmy celebration time. Celebration time. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy weve never done that on the show. Never. I just made that up. When we celebrate, we dont do that. But welcome im very happy that just happened . Jimmy that just happened. You are hosting saturday night live this weekend. Yes, i am. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. Jimmy with musical guest solange. Amazing, solange, i saw her rehearsing. Shes amazing. Jimmy shes fantastic. Have you got advice coming . Youve done that a lot. Jimmy saturday night live . Yeah. What should i do . Jimmy ill give you real good advice that could really help you. Please. Jimmy make up all the lines. [ light laughter ] okay. Jimmy as you go on, lorne loves that. So ignore everything that. Jimmy all the written words, yeah, just go and start improvising. Yeah, all right. Jimmy lorne likes it and the cast likes it when you just start laughing in the middle of a sketch. [ light laughter ] loves it. Thats his favorite thing. Yeah. Okay. Jimmy thats his favorite thing. Youre from england, right . I am, yeah. Jimmy you should talk about the election and your views, with politics. [ light laughter ] people love that. The audience would enjoy that. Yeah. As a foreigner, i should definitely talk about your elections. Jimmy just make a real statement. Take all that advice. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Jimmy i actually have we now air in england, in the uk, on the e channel at 10 00 p. M. Tuesdays through saturday. Im very excited because i love england. Hello, england. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy hello, england. Im so excited by that. Do you have any advice for me . Do it in an english accent. They love it when americans do really, really good english accents. [ laughter ] jimmy are you sure . Yeah, maybe make it regional. Do it like a yorkshire accent. Jimmy [ in yorkshire accent ] oh, yorkshire, of course. Exactly. [ light laughter ] exactly. Jimmy [ in yorkshire accent ] i mean, yorkshire, is that the only accent youd like me to try . No, i think theyd like to hear you do it in welsh too. Jimmy welsh . Welsh. Welsh. Jimmy [ in welsh accent ] youve got to do, like, what youve got to do. Welsh. [ cheers and applause ] youve got this. Jimmy thank you so much for that advice. [ talking over each other ] i really appreciate that. Theyre going to love you in wales. [ light laughter ] jimmy i want to its your first time hosting saturday night live so i thought wed go through a quick list of different firsts and you can answer as fast as you can. We can make this very quick. First time on stage . When i was, i dont know, about 4. I played joseph in nativity. Jimmy it went well . It went well. Yeah, i got a bit frustrated with mary. She didnt come out with her lines so we just pushed her to the side and we carried on. [ light laughter ] i was 4. I was 4. I was very young. Jimmy first kiss . First kiss was under water. With a girl called meredith. [ cheers ] jimmy really . Underwater . Ow water jimmy thats awesome. Sorry, thats my story. I dont really know why or if thats i have to do this underwater first. Its just happened. [ light laughter ] jimmy what do you mean it just happened . Were you swimming in the same direction . We were fooling around and, you know jimmy mary was in her name . Meredith. Jimmy meredith. How cute. First album . Bad, michael jackson. [ cheers ] very, very jimmy first concert . First concert was guns n roses, use your illusion tour. [ cheers ] i got dressed up in really, what i thought was very cool hard gear, like shorts and a a tshirt and it was at wembley. Jimmy hard gear. Yeah. Hard gear. Jimmy shorts. And trainers. Jimmy first movie you ever went to . I think it was octopussy, yeah. [ light laughter ] jimmy james bond. Yeah. Jimmy if you say so. I think it was. Jimmy first super hero movie . Batman, Michael Keatons batman. [ cheers ] and we, we were obsessed with it. So we had the posters on the wall, we sung the prince soundtrack and danced around like a lunatic, like that. It was brilliant. Jimmy lets talk about doctor strange. Congrats on this. Thank you. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy go see it in imax, 3d, technically that is a a visually stunning and a a great, wellwritten story as well. Do you like doing these big, giant films . This is the biggest and most giant of the ones ive ever done. It was a new experience for me, and i absolutely loved it. You get to do huge amounts of stunts and running around. All kind of physical cases. Jimmy its a lot of work, though. It is a lot of work but theres people doing it with you so you can get there. Jimmy i want to show everyone a clip. Heres Benedict Cumberbatch in doctor strange. Take a look at this. This was a mistake. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. Jimmy would you like to play a game with us . Yeah. Jimmy alright, good. More with Benedict Cumberbatch when we get back. 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