And featuring the legendary roots crew. Questlove 506 New Brunswick steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh thats what im talking about right there. That is a hot crowd. The best, the best. Thank you so much. Welcome, everybody. Welcome to the tonight show. This is it, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] you made it. Thats what its all about. Heres what people are talking about. Of course, last night was the end of the Republican National convention, and now its the time for the republicans to sit back, reflect and say, well, that was weird. [ laughter and applause ] thats right, the Republican National convention came to a a close last night, as donald trump formally accepted his nomination for president. Although i thought it was a a little much that they did it by paul ryan giving him a rose. [ laughter and applause ] it was beautiful. Donald trump released some of his remarks ahead of his big speech last night and presented himself as the champion of the forgotten men and women of our country. Then he said, and if you dont believe me, just look at all the hasbeens that appeared on celebrity apprentice. [ laughter ] [ applause ] talk about forgotten men and women. Whens the last time you saw this person . And earlier this week, trumps son eric gave a big speech of his own, where he told the crowd to vote for his dad, because hes the candidate who doesnt need the job. [ laughter ] then he said, speaking of people who dont need jobs, how about another round of applause for me and my brother don jr. [ applause ] i mean, we dont need jobs either. Were never worried about it. And get this, i saw that earth, wind and fire tweeted that the conventions use of their song september was unauthorized. Not because they disagree with the republican partys policies, they disagree with the republican partys dancing. [ cheers and applause ] [ laughter ] jimmy i started getting the good dance at the end. I was getting good. My roll, i started to get a a good roll at the end. Cant keep the rhythm out of me. I cant help it. [ light laughter ] it seems like so much happened this week at the convention, it could be kind of hard to keep up. Well, weve got you covered in a segment called the tonight show recap. Here you go. [ cheers and applause ] were going to unleash. Lebron james. To help us. Protect america. From a giant. Caterpillar. On steroids. Because. If we failed. To understand. This. We must. Ask yourselves. Are we crazy . Jimmy there we go. Pretty much sums it up. Steve thats it. Jimmy its a recap. Heres a little celebrity news. I heard Kim Kardashian will executive produce a new reality show where beauty bloggers compete for the chance to work for the kardashians. Yeah. Its just like the apprentice and oh, my god, kims going to be the president of the united states. [ laughter and applause ] i just realized. Make America Gross again. [ laughter ] matt damon said, in a new interview, that he only has 25 lines of dialogue in the new movie jason bourne. Yeah. When asked how he feels about that, he said [ laughter ] this is cool, i heard about a a company here in new york that is now offering coffee mixed with alcohol. [ cheers ] or as dads call that, coffee. [ laughter ] guys, i saw that a rare white lion cub was born at a zoo in texas last week. Yeah, in fact its so white, it actually spoke last night at the republican convention. [ laughter and applause ] steve really . Jimmy rare. Steve wow. Jimmy very white. Steve i missed that. Jimmy very, very white. Steve i must have missed that. [ cheers and applause ] white lion. Jimmy finally, here at the tonight show you guys know we love art. Well, we also Love Technology and the internet. So, we thought it would be fun to combine the two by taking classic paintings and pairing them with internet memes. Its a new segment called the memeing of art. Memeing of art jimmy now our First Painting is the scream. Very famous painting. Lets take a look at the meme. When bae bring home the wrong flavor oatmeal. Steve oatmeal . Jimmy when bae yeah. Steve bae cant be doing that. [ laughter ] jimmy the next painting is Washington Crossing the delaware. The meme is, squad goals. [ laughter and applause ] thats a good squad. Steve yeah. Jimmy next is the persistence of memory. The meme is, when youve been watching netflix for two days straight. [ laughter and applause ] steve oy. Jimmy next we have mona lisa. The meme is resting bitch face. [ laughter ] steve i see that. I see what you did there. Jimmy next is christinas world. The meme is, when your phone is at 2 and you left your charger at home. [ laughter and applause ] im trying to catch a pokemon. [ light laughter ] next is the birth of venus. The meme is, i woke up like this. [ laughter and applause ] so hot. Next up is the last supper. The meme is numnumnumnumnum. [ laughter ] and out final painting is american gothic. And the meme is, when bae catch you texting your ex. [ laughter and applause ] there you go. There you go. Thats the memeing of art. We have great show. [ cheers and applause ] give it up for the roots [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy nice, mark. I like that. That was awesome, man. Guys, we want to try this fun thing on the show next week. Im going to need your help though. If you have a kid aged 10 or under, a child. Steve a child. Jimmy not a baby goat. Steve no. Jimmy no. Steve i was gonna say. Jimmy if you have a child aged 10 or under, i want you to have them write an original rap song. It doesnt have to have any music, just lyrics. It could be a couple lines or a a full song. Its totally up to them. And it could be about any topic that they want. When they are done, email the lyrics to kidraps tonightshow. Com. And were gonna choose our favorites, then well perform them on the show. It will be fun. Youll see. [ cheers and applause ] i need your help to do it. So have them write it down. Anything would be good. Come back next week, our pal denis leary will be here on monday. [ cheers and applause ] oh, i love denis leary. Were gonna play a game of catch phrase with a couple of special guests. And later next week, michael fassbender, matt damon [ cheers and applause ] matt damon. [ cheers and applause ] will smith. [ cheers and applause ] steve what . Jimmy and Margot Robbie will all be joining us. Its a hot week. [ cheers and applause ] steve wow, thats a hot week. Jimmy that will be great. But first, hes one of my favorites. Hes the creator of the blockbuster americas got talent show. Hes also its newest judge. Simon cowell is here. [ cheers and applause ] my favorite. I always loved simon. Hes the best. Plus shes a youtube superstar. Lilly singh is dropping in. [ cheers and applause ] she is funny, funny, funny. Not only is lilly here, but you may see her parents later in the show. And then they are by far my favorite would you call them magicians or illusionists . Or steve i would say magicians. Jimmy magicians. And theres always funny and topical and poignant and just i love them. Every time theyre here, they hit a homerun. Penn teller are here, you guys. Steve yeah jimmy penn jillette. Penn has a new book out. Were gonna talk about it. Its called presto. And then theyre going to do a a card trick, okay . That you can participate in at home. Now all you need youre gonna need four playing cards that you dont mind ruining. Okay . They should be four completely different cards, and they should not be the same suit or number. Ill let you pause the screen now, go get your cards. [ light laughter ] steve dodododododo. Jimmy we didnt need to pause. Hey, welcome back. [ light laughter ] guys, todays friday, and thats usually when i catch up on some personal stuff. You know, i check my inbox, i return some emails and of course i send out thank you notes. And i was just wondering [ cheers and applause ] i was running a bit behind today. So i thought if you guys wouldnt mind, id just like to write out my weekly thank you notes right now. Is that cool with you guys . [ cheers and applause ] james, can i get some thank you note writing music, please . [ laughter ] whats he looking at . Steve wow. He looks stoic. Hes got his summertime suit on. Jimmy what was he looking at . He was looking somewhere else. [ laughter ] hunting pokemon. Steve hes a mystery. You think its a pokemon . Jimmy hunting pokemon. Yeah. Steve charizard. [ light laughter ] jimmy thank you, melania trump, for being a a third wife who gave a first lady speech for the second time. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] steve its a numbers game. Jimmy third wife . Thank you, Newt Gingrich, for showing us what mike pence would look like as a Cabbage Patch doll. [ laughter ] [ applause ] thats cute. Steve very cute. Jimmy very cute. Steve very cute. Jimmy and i know for a fact Newt Gingrich has Xavier Roberts tattooed on his butt. [ laughter ] thats a deep cut. A deep cut. Any kid from the 80s knows what im talking about. Thats how you know it was a a real Cabbage Patch, you pull the diaper down, it said steve Xavier Roberts. Jimmy Xavier Roberts, right . [ laughter ] if it said like carl roberts, thats like a knock off. Steve not a real Cabbage Patch doll. Jimmy no, thats like steve its a lettuce patch doll. Jimmy its a lettuce patch doll, yeah. Steve those were the worst. Jimmy thank you, diarrhea outbreak at the Republican National convention, or as they say in cleveland, the browns are running out of the tunnel. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] steve come on. Jimmy okay, okay. Steve ladies and gentlemen, accepting the award. Dave thomas ballot that was a bowl game . [ light laughter ] jimmy thank, you fly swatter, for combining my two favorite things, tennis and murder. [ laughter ] jimmy thank you, waiting for my dentist, for giving me the chance to find out what happened in Time Magazine four months ago. [ laughter and applause ] steve it happened again . Jimmy i guess were going back into space. Check out what jupiters all about. Thank you, smooth Peanut Butter, for being Peanut Butter that knows how to talk to the ladies. Steve yeah wow wow. Steve im chunkie. Jimmy thank you, cliffhangers for [ laughter ] gotta get back in time gotta go back in time steve whats happening . Jimmy its friday, man. Time to party. Steve its friday, man fridays a party. Its america. Jimmy party on, dwayne. Steve party on, barth. Jimmy thank you, grapes, or as i like to call you, raisin water balloons. There you go, everybody. Those are my thank you notes. [ cheers and applause ] well be right back with simon cowell. 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The ford fusion can detect a pedestrian, alert you and if you dont brake, it can brake for you. Introducing the 2017 ford fusion with precollision assist with pedestrian detection. Its the beauty of a wellmade choice. Usic sex machine by james brown good is in every blue diamond almond. From whole natural to wasabi soy sauce. Good is a catalyst, good is contagious. Its a wonderful feeling, a magical feeling, and once it gets going there is no stopping what you can do. Get your good going. Blue diamond almonds. Proud sponsor of the us swim team [ cheers and applause ] jimmy our first guest created the global got talent format, which is the most successful Reality Television format of all time. This season he joins the panel as the newest judge on the very popular americas got talent, which airs tuesday and wednesday nights at 8 00 p. M. Right here on nbc, with live shows beginning next tuesday, july 26th. Please welcome the one and only simon cowell. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy they love you. We love you. Hey, good to see you, buddy. I love america. Jimmy i missed you. America loves you. Thank you. Jimmy i havent seen you in a long time. I want to say congratulations. Youre a first time father. You didnt return my phone calls. Jimmy i didnt return your phone calls. Thats right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. [ light laughter ] youre a first time father . Yeah, this wasnt something that i was expecting. [ laughter ] but, you know, its all been good. What i did was, i practiced by getting some puppies first. [ light laughter ] i did, i thought ill get two puppies. Jimmy okay. And then im used to looking after things. Jimmy yeah. And they were called squiddly and diddly. [ light laughter ] true. And then eric arrived about six months later. [ laughter ] jimmy so thanks to squiddly and diddly, theyre here yeah. You have a son now. A boy. Yeah. Jimmy and how have you taken to fatherhood . Are you good at it . You feel like you got it on well, i wasnt to begin with. I thought he was going to be like a puppy. [ laughter ] no, i really did. I thought you could jimmy like which one . Squiddly or diddly . More like squiddly. Jimmy yeah. You could throw things and then he would run to you. [ laughter ] jimmy he would retrieve the stuff you throw . Yeah. Jimmy no, yeah. I thought, you know up to three months. And after eight months, i said to lauren one night, i think he hates me. [ laughter ] yeah, because he didnt do anything. And then one day, i think he was watching me on tv, and then he kind of got me. Jimmy yeah. And we sort of got this communication and then he started talking to me. And now were buddies. [ light laughter ] jimmy and now youre bonding with him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Jimmy are you watching the same cartoons im watching . I have a 3yearold hes one half year old, yeah. Jimmy yeah. Yeah, well, i saw jimmy dora the explorer . Dora the bloody explorer. [ laughter ] jimmy what are you talking about, shes beloved. Not by me. [ laughter ] jimmy come on. [ laughter ] if youve never seen it before, they just say the same thing over and over and over again. Jimmy no, yeah. So after about three months doras gone on a long holiday and [ laughter ] jimmy no, ive watched all that. Got lost and wont be coming back. Jimmy i think ive watched it so many times that now i kind of in an insane way, i look forward to it. But its the same show in every single thing. Its like gates, and swimming and that weird fox thing. [ laughter ] jimmy swiper. Swiper. Jimmy thats right, yeah. [ laughter ] but the worst part is do you ever do this when you answer the questions . Theyre like [ laughter ] theyre like a, b, what comes after b . And i go, c [ laughter ] i know. Jimmy and they go like, let me have one thing, dad. [ light laughter ] its designed to make you like, two years old again. Jimmy yeah, i dont like barney. I dont like barney in the house. I dont even know if thats on any more. Thats the dinosaur. Jimmy yeah. Yeah, im not crazy about that. Jimmy i dont like the songs. The songs are terrible. Jimmy yeah. [ light laughter ] doras actually got some decent songs. No. [ light laughter ] jimmy no, its the best. Name me one good dora song. [ light laughter ] jimmy one. Im the map im the map im the map im the map [ cheers and applause ] hes the map [ laughter ] all right, i cant even do it. Youre right. Jimmy im sorry to every parent out there. They were actually playing along. Jimmy yeah, i know. Its hypnotizing. You just sit there and go, oh my god, what happened to a half hour of my life, its gone. [ light laughter ] we watch that, we watch Team Umizoomi. What . Jimmy thats a decent one. Thats got a cool its la la la la la la la la we are Team Umizoomi la la la la la la la la and it teaches math and stuff. Yeah, ill pass on that one. Jimmy okay, no problem. [ light laughter ] peppa pig. Is that big . Peppa pigs huge. [ cheers ] only lasts ten minutes, which is good. Jimmy its fantastic. Yeah. Jimmy they love that. Yeah. Jimmy and of course, sesame street. Yeah, i love sesame street. Jimmy you cannot beat sesame street. Oh, you know whats great . Sesame street live. I know it might sound like a a nightmare to you. Can they play it . Jimmy no, no, no. Im saying, just going to see them live. Give me another song. Jimmy uh backpack backpack [ laughter ] its the same song. [ laughter ] jimmy its the same song. [ laughter ] its dora again. Jimmy its awful. It really is awful. Oh my god. Jungle book, thats good. Jimmy yes. I havent gone up to bear necessities. Jimmy yeah, no. Come on. Jimmy the roots can play it and look for the jimmy yeah. [ light laughter ] bare necessities. Am i taking requests now . You only know your songs. Jimmy its my show. I mean, no, please, hello. I get it. Jimmy americas got talent. Yeah. Jimmy number one show, biggest show on nbc. Thank you very much for believing in that. Thank you. Jimmy i appreciate it. I watch every year, and i love it. And i love that youre back on television. Thank you. Jimmy we love you. At first we love to hate you, and now we love to love you. Okay. Jimmy because we trust you. [ light laughter ] okay. Jimmy yeah. But ive always loved you. Jimmy thank you. Weve always had a good bond. Yeah. Jimmy but i watched americas got talent, and its good. And you also have britains got talent. Yeah. Jimmy who has more talent . [ laughter ] oh, come on. Jimmy when in rome. When in rome. All right, america. Jimmy yes [ cheers and applause ] im the map im the map im the map im the map jimmy hi, dora. But were close. But i have to tell you, you guys have the craziest contestants. [ light laughter ] now i have a theory. Im like the crazy flame who attracts the crazy moths. All the crazy people in the world, they come on to our shows. Jimmy yeah. They do. I love it. Jimmy yeah, i mean we have had some of the best i mean, weve had pants on the ground guy yeah. Jimmy i mean all the fun guys that come after you . This year you got tape mouth or something . Tape face. Jimmy tape face . Yeah. I like him. Jimmy he was funny. Yeah, really funny. Jimmy i really dug him. But theres really good talented musicians this year, which i would much rather see. I love dogs and all that stuff. I dont want them winning the competition. [ light laughter ] i just feel like, what do you do with that gig . I mean, i id like to find a singing dog. [ light laughter ] i really mean that. Jimmy thats actually not bad. Great, anyone jimmy i dont know if id be out with the wife and go like, hey, what do you want to do . Lets go see some dog jump through [ light laughter ] well, if you have a dog that would sing, i think your wife would like to see it. If anyones watching whos got a singing dog, were auditioning for next year. [ laughter ] and im being serious. Jimmy but theres a singing human on the show that i love. [ laughter ] this is much more easier to sell. But this girl is adorable. You know who im talking about, the little girl grace. Jimmy yes, grace van amazing. Jimmy whats somebody vanderwaal. Jimmy vanderwaal. Yeah. Shes 12 years old, shes incredible. Jimmy and you said you see this thing and its like goosebumps. She sang an original song, where shes like, okay, its going to be cute, its going to be on the map. Im the map. [ laughter ] jimmy and it wasnt she sang some beautiful songs. She has a great voice. With a ukelele. Jimmy i would like my eyes welling up. I was like, wow, this is powerful. And you said, i think youre going to be the next taylor swift. Absolutely right. Jimmy and that was a good call. [ applause ] shes great. And shes really cute, and jimmy so cute, yeah. Shes sweet. Shes got great songs. And the one thing i wanted to do on the show this year was i wanted to attract more singers. And luckily, that happened. We have some really good singers, youll see it in the finals next week. Jimmy yeah. And its also, id like to see, you know i want to see the family. I like to see where they came from. Yeah. Jimmy i like to see them rooting for them backstage, and its just good. And i think its feel good. Jimmy it really is feel good tv and i love it. I want to show a clip with some highlights of this season of americas got talent. Take a look at this. Somethings gotta give somethings gotta give somethings gotta give let the bodies hit the floor let the bodies hit the floor let the bodies hit the floor john, you are an animal. Thank you. I now know my name i dont play by the rules of the game so you say im not trying to find my way [ cheers and applause ] grace, you know what i predict for you . I think youre the next little taylor swift. [ cheers and applause ] thank you so much. Wow. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy i love it. I love the show. I love you. Simon cowell, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] watch americas got talent, tuesday and wednesday nights, 8 00 p. M. Right here on nbc. Well be right back with lilly singh. Stick around, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] when youve been making delicious natural cheese for over 100 years like kraft has, you learn a lot about peoples tastes. Honey, what do you want for dinner tonight . Oh whatever youre making. Triple cheddar stuffed sliders. Sold la charrue passe dans le ciel et je descends lentement jump 50 feet over the rapids and i crash land. Check out my scar. Theres nothing there you didnt jump the creek theres a new neosporin antibiotic that minimizes scars. New neosporin plus pain itch scar try cool mint zantac. Hey, need fast heartburn relief . It releases a cooling sensation in your mouth and throat. Zantac works in as little as 30 minutes. Nexium can take 24 hours. Try cool mint zantac. No pill relieves heartburn faster. Geico motorcycle, great rates for great rides. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy our next guest is the star and creator of one of the most popular channels on youtube, where shes known as superwoman. She has over 9 million subscribers and over one billion views. Everyone, please welcome the very talented lilly singh [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh, my gosh. Welcome. Theyre so good. Jimmy you cant beat the roots. The best. The best. Jimmy come on, the roots are the best. You look gorgeous. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. Jimmy welcome back. Thank you for having me. Jimmy thank you for coming back. Oh, please, please, please. You have fans all over the world. So i know we, the last time we had you on, everyone was going crazy online. And again its happening because they just love you. And well, you do good. Aww, try to keep going. Jimmy yeah, youre great at what you do. I mean these numbers are crazy. Over 1. 3 billion views. Youre one of Time Magazines 30 most influential people on the internet. And then, what was a cool thing that happened, the rock, we love dwayne johnson. He was starting his he was starting his Youtube Channel and he asked you for advice. Yeah, it was super cool. It was the first video on his channel. And he collaborated for a video on my channel and so it was like this cool, like, let me teach you how to be a youtube star, but really im just hitting on him the whole time. [ light laughter ] so the whole time im just trying to kiss him and trying to hug him. So just really just being myself more than anything. Jimmy yeah. I love that i tried to learn the secret handshake. You nailed it. I think you did so well. Jimmy no, lets try it again. [ cheers and applause ] do it slow. Okay, slow. Here you go, ready . Jimmy thats the problem. I think you nailed it. Jimmy yeah, all right. All right, that one was much better. If we do it in fast we just speed it up, it will look like i totally nail it. I created it at my meet and greet. I didnt realize that it was gonna add like two hours onto my meet and greets because people come up to me. Jimmy cause, everyone has to do it. They do it, but then theyll like, no, no, no, one more time. One more time. And im like, okay. And its like buffering in real life, theyre like and im like, you can do it. I believe in you. Jimmy buffering in real life. Its a very exciting year for you, cause youre in youre a voice in ice age, which is out right now. Yeah. Jimmy youre in its a giant cartoon. Its cool. I play two minicorns. So the two twins that are unicorns. And okay, when you watch it you can judge for yourself. But i feel like they look like me. [ audience awws ] i really do. Jimmy really . I feel like its the closest to motherhood ill ever get. Like they look like me. Jimmy no, well i hope that had my mom at home is like [ laughter ] jimmy how is your mom doing, by the way . Great. Thanks. Theyre excited. Theyre great. Theyre supportive now. [ laughter ] jimmy theyre supportive now. Yeah. Jimmy they got to be psyched. cause youre in ice age. Youre in bad moms. I should say youre in bad moms as well. Yeah. Jimmy and you started this thing, its called girl love. Yes. Jimmy tell me about it. Girl love is a cause i really believe about. Its to tackle the cycle of girl on girl hate, which i feel is so common amongst the Younger Generation of females. Jimmy very recently too. And so the idea behind girl love is to make it cool to compliment other women and build them up, as opposed to the idea of making girls hate each other. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy i totally agree with that. Thank you. Jimmy as the father of two daughters. Yeah. Its fun. Jimmy thank you for doing that. Yeah. Of course. Thank you. I think its important. Jimmy so its called girl love. And i you have something that youre going to announce on our show. Its giant news, which i knew but i didnt talk to you about this. Well its okay. Well you know, ive been wanting to do this for a long time. And my audience has been like, whats this announcement . And im so excited to finally announce [ drum roll ] that i am officially releasing my first book, tomorrow. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy lilly [ applause ] cool. Yeah. Jimmy thats big. Its exciting. Thank you. Its called how to be a a bawse. Jimmy say it again . How to be a bawse. Jimmy a bawse. Bawse. Jimmy no, a boss. No, cause is boss. Jimmy uhhuh. This is bawse. So not just someone at work, but someone in their personal life. With their relationships, how they communicate, how they deal with conflict, someone who doesnt just survive but conquers life. Really exudes confidence. Gets hurt efficiently. Hustles hard and just makes stuff happen. Jimmy a bawse. [ laughter ] [ cheers ] how to be a bawse. Yeah, and it comes out in march. But you can preorder it right now at lillysinghbook. Com. Jimmy and its good for this generation, too. cause if you if you work hard, you can be lilly singh. Because i well i think they could be themselves, which is kind of better. But i will say jimmy yeah. Thats what i meant to say. [ laughter ] but i will say, i completed jimmy am i in this book . I just got cut out. You are, actually. Jimmy im in it . You are. Theres a chapter about first impressions. And i did write about you based off the first time we ever met, because you left such an impression on me. Jimmy i did . Yeah. Jimmy a very you liked it . Thank you. Jimmy a nice one im hoping. On that note no, its 100 nice. Jimmy okay, good. Thank you. Yeah. Or else or else i might be lying too. Or else i wouldnt say the opposite if i were on the show. But yeah. [ laughter ] obviously im not gonna say if its bad on the show. But no, its very nice. And i think exactly what you said. I will be the first to call out my generation. I think sometimes we get really super easily validated. You know, we go on social media, and theres a cute tumblr quote telling us were special. And were like, okay. Well just dream our dreams. And im just like, no. I want to bring back the art of working hard for your dreams. You know what i mean . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy work. Work. Work work work work work jimmy and, you almost slipped in to your mom character. You do your parents, its the funniest thing. I love it. You know i love it. Every time i ask you to do it. But, your parents the last time you were on our show, you did a thing of your parents watching your episode of you on the tonight show and then judging you. And is it based its not really based on your real parents though, right . Its based on, like, every parent ive ever met. Every mom ive ever met. Every dad ive ever met. Its based on all of our parents. Really. Jimmy i think you should do a type of, like, my big fat greek wedding mixed with the clumps, where you do all the characters and its my big indian wedding. Oh yeah. Jimmy and im telling you that cast would be longer than game of thrones. [ laughter ] indian wedding. All the people at an indian wedding. Jimmy i know, and it would just be beautiful and it would be so funny, and i want to see you do all those characters. So if someone out there wants to make a film with you know who, you got to see her do this. Its just fantastic. In fact, i met your parents earlier today, you introduced me to them. And i want to talk about that when we come back. Yeah. Jimmy more with lilly singh when we come back, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] and these are the lungs. boy sorry. dad dont worry about it. vo at our house, we need things that are built to last. Thats why we got a subaru. avo love. Its what makes a subaru, a subaru. Is depression more than sadness . Its a tangle of multiple symptoms. Trintellix vortioxetine is a prescription medicine for depression. Trintellix may start to untangle or help improve the multiple symptoms of depression. For me, trintellix made a difference. Tell your healthcare professional right away if your depression worsens, or you have unusual changes in mood, behavior or thoughts of suicide. Antidepressants can increase these in children, teens, and young adults. Trintellix has not been studied in children. Do not take with maois. Tell your healthcare professional about your medications, including migraine, psychiatric and depression medications to avoid a potentially lifethreatening condition. Increased risk of bleeding or bruising may occur especially if taken with nsaid pain relievers, aspirin, or blood thinners. Manic episodes or vision problems may occur in some people. May cause low sodium levels. The most common side effects are nausea, constipation and vomiting. Trintellix did not have Significant Impact on weight. Ask your healthcare professional if trintellix could make a difference for you. Just how wet and sticky your current gel antiperspirant is. Now were going to show you how degree dry spray is different. Degree dry spray. Degree. It wont let you down. Not yet, im. Folding the laundry can you . No. Cleaning the windows well, the living rooms a disaster you should see the bathroom vo most Insurance Companies give you every reason to avoid them. Im looking for my keys plants need planting well the leaves arent going to rake themselves vo nationwide is different. Hon, did you call nationwide to check on our claim . vo we put members first. Actually, they called me. Nationwide is on your side [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thats not bad. Thats nice, thats nice right there. You see that movie yeah. [ cheers ] oh, snap. Jimmy yeah, thats it, yeah. Welcome back, everybody, were hanging out with lilly singh right here, ladies and gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] i saved bad moms. We got to talk about everything. I was just saying i got to hang out with lillys parents earlier, i got to meet them. Thank you for introducing me to those guys. I know theyre fans of the show. Yeah. Jimmy they watch the show, at least. Thanks so much for doing that, that was super cool of you. Jimmy yeah, they were theyre really nice. [ light laughter ] theyre really nice people, we just had a we had an interesting interaction. Oh. Jimmy its interesting, we actually videotaped the entire meeting. [ laughter ] oh. Really . Jimmy id like to show it to everyone, here. Oh, this is news to me. Jimmy please take a look at this. Jimmy, whats up. Jimmy lilly. Hi. Hi. Jimmy thanks so much for being on the show tonight. Are you kidding me . Its totally my pleasure. Listen, i know youre really busy doing a bunch of stuff, but my parents are here, and theyre huge fans. Come and say hi . Jimmy please, id love to meet them. Thank you. Jimmy come on, send them in. Come on in. This is my mom. Hello, jimmy. Thats my dad. Hello. [ laughter ] jimmy hi. Its a pleasure. Look at this guy, huh . You see this, i told you we lookalike, okay . We look like identical twins. With jimmy, even i cant tell the difference. All right, well im going to finish getting ready, but have fun. [ whispering ] dont embarrass me. Dont be dumb. You would never do you like this. Jimmy, we love your show. Its our favorite. We watch every single night. Jimmy thank you so much, that means a lot. I appreciate it. We have a couple suggestions on how to improve. Just small things, small things. Super, super small. Jimmy sure. You want to get pen and paper . Jimmy i can probably just remember it. Grab a pen and paper, okay. Dont be rude. [ laughter ] number one, your laugh. It sounds like a hyena. Kind of like [ laughter ] like that. No, its more like so much clapping, also. Jimmy okay, okay, i get it. I get it. Somebody has little bit of temper. Also, the clothes are boring, man. Okay, every night, the same suit. Jimmy its kind of what i suggest showing a little chest hair like me. Trust me, the ladies love it. Jimmy i dont know if thats my do we interrupt you when youre speaking . Every friday you say sorry for being late. And then you ask us to do thank you notes, why you cant organize time better . We watch your show. Time management is very important. Can you make your job, whats the word funnier . Why do you love everything . Nobody love everything. [ laughter ] jimmy i think i have to get shut your mouth. Can you do one show where the roots play the entire time . [ light laughter ] jimmy what would i do . I guess you could stay at home. It doesnt really matter. Hey, im back. How is everything going . Great. Great. Jimmy great. Great. Thanks so much, jimmy. All right, lets go. Bye. Goodbye mr. Kimmel. [ laughter ] jimmy its fallon. Theres that temper again. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy who can do that . Thats amazing, how was that . Youre amazing. Youre so much fun. Thank you so much. Jimmy come back any time. I know. Jimmy i love you. Thank you. Jimmy my thanks to lilly singh and her parents. [ cheers and applause ] penn teller are about to do an amazing card trick. Get out your cards, and well see you after the break, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] take on any road with intuitive allwheel drive. The nissan rogue, murano and pathfinder. Now get 0 apr for 72 months, plus 500 bonus cash. Brewmaster. Risktaker. I sold everything i had to own a brewery. You might have heard its name. Stella artois be legacy see, we can agree. Reat. Honey, its called a barber shop quartet. No finally, something the whole family can agree on. Oscar mayer deli fresh ham made with pure honey for a taste everyone will love. Whe gets a ready for you alert the second his room is ready. So you know what he gives . Ill give you everything ive got and then some. He gives a hundred and ten percent im confident this 10 can boost your market share. Feel me lois . Im feeling you. Boom look at that pie chart. The ready for you alert, only at laquinta. Com. Try cool mint zantac. Hey, need fast heartburn relief . It releases a cooling sensation in your mouth and throat. Zantac works in as little as 30 minutes. Nexium can take 24 hours. Try cool mint zantac. No pill relieves heartburn faster. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy our next guests are one of the greatest acts around. You can currently see them wednesday nights at 8 00 p. M. On the cw show penn teller fool us. And penns new book, presto , is available on august 2nd. Lets hear it for penn teller, ladies and gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy welcome, welcome back. Congratulations on your new book. Well, thank you. Thank you so much. Jimmy i appreciate this. Its how you lost over 100 pounds. Over 100 pounds. I lost jimmy you look fantastic. [ cheers and applause ] i lost almost your full weight. Or at least what your weight should be. I lost all of that. Jimmy thank you for that. Thank you. Yeah. You wrote it to inspire other people out there . Just so we yes, yes, not for medical advice. If you take your medical advice from a las vegas magician, you deserve to die. Jimmy yeah, okay. Thats not a good thing. So this is just kind of what happened with me. Howd it go. Jimmy its fantastic. Now what trick are we doing today . I got a trick, everybody can do this at home. All of you here can do it in the studio. All of you at home. Roots can do it. So four cards. Four different cards. Heres four for you right here. Jimmy okay, very good. Follow along with us. This is a penn teller love ritual. If you follow this perfectly you will receive love. Not a replacement for grinder or tinder, it works in conjunction with those. [ laughter ] pick your four cards just like this. Right in front of you right here. Rip them right in half. Rip em. Rip em right along the center. Right there. Now, you get four half cards in one hand, four half cards in the other. You dont know the order, the pattern, or anything. Jimmy no. Put one group of four on top of the other group of four just like that. Jimmy okay. You all with me . Jimmy yeah. Now lets follow this together. Take the top card put it on the bottom nicely done. Take the top two cards put them on the bottom. Now, fan them out like this, you can kind of see their backs. And take the top three cards just three, exactly three. Be careful they stick together. Top three cards and put them in the middle. But you have a choice of a lot of middle. Not the bottom. The middle, you have a choice. Whatever it be different. Choose any middle you want. Slide em right in there, just like that. Now, take the top card do not look at it dont look at it jimmy im not looking at it. And put it close to your heart. Let it feel your loving heartbeat. Let it feel that heartbeat. Thats your secret love. Thats your secret share. Do this at home, put it right near your heart. Jimmy is that close enough . Yeah, does that stay there . Jimmy no. Okay, well, put it put it near put it some place thats near your heart. [ laughter ] it will be safe there. [ cheers ] now youve got to look into your own hearts and decide how much bad love youve had in your life on a scale of one to three. If youve had very little bad love in your life youll take one card. If youve had soso bad love, bout equal good equal bad, youll take two cards. And if your love life has stink, stank, stunk, youll take three cards. On a scale of one to three how many bad love you got. How much bad cards, take that number and throw them away, you dont need em. Thats bad love get rid of it, throw it away thats bad love, its gone forever [ laughter ] jimmy whos going to clean all this up when you guys split . Now true love, as you know, takes time to fester. Were going to go through a a symbolic week. Right now. Everybody do this at home. Take the top card, call that monday put it on the bottom. Next card, tuesday put that on the bottom. Wednesday put that on the bottom. Thursday put it on the bottom. Friday jimmy friday put that on the bottom. Saturday jimmy sat put that on the bottom. Sunday put it on the bottom. Now were gonna get down to one card. They all have a Different Number of cards. You threw out different love. So some of you will be done earlier than others. But go until you have one card left. That top card thats loves me put it on the bottom. That could be the one. Next card, loves me not you dont need it throw it in the trash. Get rid of it. Jimmy loves me not. Loves me not, its gone. [ light laughter ] next card is loves me. Put that on the bottom. Next card is loves me not throw it away, we dont need it [ laughter ] we feel you, brother. Weve all been there. Havent we . Jimmy yeah, yeah, yeah. Loves me put on the bottom loves me not swipe left on that bastard. [ laughter ] loves me put it on the bottom. Loves me not never needed it, never will. Get rid of it. Loves me put on the bottom. Loves me not throw it away. Were all down to one. Were all down to one. Just one. Dont look at it dont you look at it take the card next to your heart. Take the card next to your heart, pull it up. Dont look at it. Hold them back to back. Hold them back to back. Now in just a moment were all going to look at them together. All over america. All of us together will look at them. If those cards happen to match, after all the shuffling, the combinations, the permutation. If those match youve experienced the miracle of love. And if youve experienced the miracle of love, wherever you are, even if youre at home alone, you yell out with us, i found love, and hold your hands up over your head to prove you found it. Okay, lets take a look, you ready . Lets do it. [ cheers and applause ] i found love jimmy i found love yes, you did my brother [ cheers and applause ] jimmy i did i did i found love. I found love. You match . You match . Everybody matches. Every Single Person matches. Jimmy i found love. Every Single Person matches. Nobody admits. Anybody not find love . Anybody not find love . Anybody oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Quick, teller, teller. This guy, this guy has no match. Jimmy oh, no. Jimmy, he has no match. Jimmy oh, no. Why is that, jimmy . Jimmy what does that mean . Why is that, roots . Why doesnt it match. It couldnt be couldnt be youre too stupid to follow simple directions. [ laughter ] couldnt be that, could it jimmy . Jimmy no, it could not be that. Couldnt be that, could it roots . The roots no couldnt be that, could it brothers and sisters. Audience no i think i know what it is. You are going to die bitter and alone. Jimmy no. Because the rest of us found love, and now you found it too. Take those two. [ cheers and applause ] we all found love. Jimmy how cool. Penn tellers love ritual. Jimmy penn teller, everybody [ cheers and applause ] go see them live at the rio hotel in las vegas. Well be right back, ladies and gentlemen. The greatest. [ cheers and applause ] when consultant josh atkins books at laquinta. Com. He gets a ready for you alert the second his room is ready. So he knows exactly when he can settle in and think big. And when josh thinks big you know what he gives . Ill give you everything ive got and then some. He gives a hundred and ten percent im confident this 10 can boost your market share. Look at that pie chart boom youve never seen a number like that you feel me lois . Im feeling you. Yeah you do lets do this watch out he just had a whole thimble full of coffee. Woot woot the ready for you alert, only at laquinta. Com. La. Quinta yeah maybe almond breeze tastes so good because its the only almondmilk made with californiagrown blue diamond almonds. Of course, if you ask one of our almond growers. Theres no maybe about it. Almond breeze. The best almonds make the best almondmilk. Proud sponsor of usa volleyball. Award winning interface. Award winning design. Award winning engine. The volvo xc90. The most awarded suv of the century. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy my thanks to simon cowell, lilly singh, penn teller, once again [ cheers and applause ] and the roots right there from philadelphia, pennsylvania, ladies and gentlemen. Stay tuned for late night with seth meyers. Thank you for watching. Have a great weekend. I hope to see you next week. Byebye. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] announcer from 30 Rockefeller Plaza in new york, its late night with seth meyers. Tonight emma roberts, star of animal kingdom, actor scott speedman, music from gnash, featuring the 8g band with fred armisen and thomas lang. [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers [ cheers and applause ] seth good evening. Im seth meyers, this is late night. Hows everybody doing tonight . [ cheers and applause ] yeah thats good to hear. In this case lets get to the news. Donald trump will reportedly select a running mate by the end of the week. Now, youre gonna want somebody whos different from you, so maybe a rational, wellspoken woman with expere
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