Musical guest tom odell. And featuring the legendary roots crew. Questlove 477 steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh, thats what im talking about. Hi, everybody. Welcome. Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome. Welcome to the tonight show. This is it. Youre here. You made it. [ cheers and applause ] thank you for being here, guys. Got a big show. Heres what people are talking about, you guys, theres a a little trouble for donald trump. Its reported that trump may have actually done business with the mob. [ audience oohs ] even has ties to an exconvict named joey no socks. [ light laughter ] when asked about his relationship with trump, joey no socks said, thats between me and donny three wives. [ laughter and applause ] l dont worry about it. Hey, dont worry about it. Steve heyoh hey jimmy thats right, one of Donald Trumps longtime Business Associates is an exconvict nicknamed joey no socks. Of course, he also goes by the nickname joey easy christmas gift. [ laughter and applause ] hey, howd you know i needed socks . Thank you over here. I saw that donald trump is now building a sea wall around his golf course in ireland [ light laughter ] to protect it from global warming. [ light laughter ] well, that and mexicans trying to sneak into ireland. [ laughter and applause ] what are you doing over here now . On friday, trump also gave a a big speech in kentucky, and im starting to wonder if he really understands how legislation works. Listen to this. And we will unsign lots of different things. Including some of those terrible executive orders. Believe me, theyre going to be unsigned so fast. Theyll be unsigned the first hour that im in office. In the first hour that im in office. Jimmy then im going to unsign every Christmas Card i ever sent to the clintons. [ cheers and applause ] unsign and ill unsign it. When someone told him that unsign wasnt really a word, he was like, fine, then i unsay it. [ laughter and applause ] meanwhile, Hillary Clinton went on meet the press yesterday, and she was asked what slogan defines her campaign. She said, stronger together. As opposed to the other slogan that defines her campaign youve got mail. [ laughter ] jimmy yeah, they didnt like that. Steve guess not. Jimmy delete that slogan. Delete that slogan. I saw that there was a brief security scare yesterday when some Party Balloons drifted over the white house fence. The white house staff were pretty worried, especially when they saw obama tying those balloons to a lawn chair. Take it easy. [ laughter ] bye, im out of here. Bye guys, take care. Im the old man from up. [ light laughter ] and get this, a top adviser to obama says that the president will keep a low political profile after leaving office. In fact, obama recently hinted at what he might do once hes a a regular citizen again. Heres what he said. Yeah, i wanna keep a low profile, nothing crazy. Ill tell you what i want to do. I want to open up a restaurant called fries in a cup. [ light laughter ] its real simple, its just me behind a window on the street. Im selling fries and theyre in a cup. Thats it. Fries in a cup. [ light laughter ] we got two cups. Small cup, big cup. Small cups 2. 25. Big cups 3. 25. It makes sense. Fries in a cup. [ light laughter ] condiments . We got ketchup and thats it. No mustard bull shizz. None of that Chipotle Mayo crap. Fries, ketchup, cup. Thats it. Fries in a cup. No fancy slogan. No commercials. Just a hashtag and thats it. Whats the hashtag you ask . Friesinacup. [ laughter and applause ] all right, we get it. We get it. Sounds cool. Steve ill get it, yeah. Ill take a cup of fries. Jimmy lets get to some sports news. We had another big horse race this weekend. Thats right, saturday was the 141st running of the preakness, and it was won by a horse named exaggerator. Apparently, he won just by promising to make horse racing great again. [ laughter and applause ] that was good. And last night, the Golden State Warriors played the Oklahoma City thunder in game three of the western conference finals. And at one point, the warriors Draymond Green may have gotten a little too aggressive against the thunders steven adams. Take a look at this. He struggled every time. And thats the second time, that green has, lets say jimmy yeah. Looked pretty painful. Yeah. [ light laughter ] listen to what adams had to say about it after the game. That games over, it has nothing to do with the next game. [ laughter and applause ] jimmy he recovered pretty quickly. Steve yeah, he seemed fine. Jimmy this is pretty cool. Italian chefs recently set a a new world record after making a milelong pizza that took five ovens and over 11 hours to bake. It got weird when the person who ordered the pizza was like, ooh, i said no pepperoni. [ laughter and applause ] so, can you and finally, i saw that the dad who live streamed the birth of his son on facebook last week says it was an accident, and that the video wasnt meant for the public, just for friends and family. And his friends and family were, like, we didnt want to see it either. [ laughter and applause ] we have a great show, you guys. Give it up for the roots. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh sounding great as always, thank you, roots. The roots, everybody, right there. [ cheers and applause ] fantastic. Guys, its monday, were very happy to be back here. We have a big week of shows coming up. Tomorrow night, tyler perry and dave franco will be here. Steve whoa [ cheers and applause ] jimmy and later this week, adam sandler, penelope cruz, martin short and maya rudolph will be joining us. Steve oh [ cheers and applause ] jimmy and we have great music from Dierks Bentley and courtney barnett. I cant wait. Its going to be a fun week. [ cheers and applause ] but first, we have a great show tonight, as always. A lot of fun when she stops by. I just love her. Steve shes a delight. Jimmy she is the best. From the new movie Xmen Apocalypse the one and only Jennifer Lawrence is here. Steve yeah [ cheers and applause ] jimmy we just love her, i want to be friends with her. I want to be like, best pals with her. Steve you should be bffs. Jimmy like we should be bffs. Steve yeah. Jimmy were going to play a a game, were gonna play a game called true confessions. With a surprise guest. Oh, yeah, this is new york city, we dont screw around. [ light laughter ] plus, from tv lands new series, its very funny, its called lopez, the hilarious george lopez is dropping in. [ cheers and applause ] funny. And we have great music from tom odell, you guys. Steve oh [ applause ] jimmy youre going to love this guy. Youre going to love him. Steve good times. Jimmy if you dont know him, youre going to love him after you hear him tonight. I like to think im a pretty easy going guy. Steve you are. Jimmy you know, theres one thing that really gets my goat. [ light laughter ] its bad music. No one should have to listen to bad tunes. So as a service to you guys, im about to play some real songs from real bands that i think you should avoid. In a segment i called my do not play list. Here we go. Do not play do not play do not play these songs these songs jimmy now, before we start, i want you to know that every artist and song that im about to play for you is 100 real. They are actual bands, and actual songs. You can download them on itunes or amazon or see if your local music store has them. They are real. Okay, so lets see whats on my do not play list. First song is from a 70s singer songwriter called jim post. [ light laughter ] theres jim. Hes hanging out. Steve oh yeah. Jimmy hes taking an outdoor shower. Very popular. Steve nice. Jimmy hes rocking the droopy wet stache look. Steve looks good. Jimmy kinda cool. Steve very cool. Jimmy no one else is doing it. Steve yeah. Jimmy you know, its jim post. And so lets take a listen to, i think the title track called i love my life. And i love my life i love my life i love my life i do every day of my life is a celebration and i love my life i do yeah i love my life jimmy thats it. He pushed me to the edge. [ light laughter ] but i love that. Steve i love that song. Jimmy i didnt mind it. Steve yeah, not at all. Jimmy he loves his life. Steve he does. Jimmy this next song is from a german band that ive never heard of. Maybe someone out there, have you guys ever heard of the band scooter . Really . [ laughter ] thats so not true. We dont make these songs up. Questlove always thinks that we make some up. Steve no. Jimmy no, no. Questlove i think yall do. Jimmy no, we dont. We dont make steve scooter. Jimmy scooter. Steve yeah. Jimmy yeah, theyre probably called scooter. Steve yeah, scooter. Jimmy this is scooter. Steve yeah. Jimmy jumping all over the world. Actually, it looks like jim post from the future if you think about it. Steve yeah. Maybe hes a time lord. I jumped in the jim post party. Jimmy anyway, scooter. So scooter. This song is called how much is the fish. [ light laughter ] hes, like, shopping for steve hes asking for the fish. A query. How much is the fish . Jimmy just a query. How much is the fish . Here it is. Scooter. How much is the fish. The chase is better than the catch jimmy the chase is better than the catch. How much is the fish how much is the fish [ laughter ] here we go here we go here we go again yeah [ cheers ] sunshine in the air jimmy stop it. Thats a good song. That song is insane. Steve like youre reeling it in. Jimmy how much is this fish. It took me a year to write that. Steve it took you a year to write that song . Jimmy thats correct. This next one is from a russian singer. Steve oh, good. Jimmy ive never heard of, called vitas. And the album is called dedication. [ light laughter ] there he is, plugging his ears. Never a good sign for an album. Steve never good. Jimmy for an album. Lets take a listen to jamaica. Steve oh. Jimmy yeah, mon. I love jamaica, mon. Yeah, lets hear some, its called jamaica. Jamaica jamaica jimmy jamaica. Jamaica jimmy stop, stop, stop, stop. He really catches the spirit of that. Its not me, its not me, dude. Its a real singer. I wouldnt make these up. Its the real thing. Jamaica jamaica jamaica jamaica [ cheers and applause ] steve takes it out of you. Jimmy takes it out of me, steve yeah. Jimmy clearly, this picture was taken while he was recording that song. Steve yeah, i think so. He hit that high note. Jimmy this last one were down to, is a soundtrack to a a superhero movie. Steve oh great. Jimmy people love it. I mean, xmen, superhero movie. Steve sure. Jimmy so its just, its kind of like that. Lets see what it is. This is called, its italian spiderman. Steve yeah. [ light laughter ] jimmy is that what spiderman looks like . Steve i know italian spiderman. Jimmy is that what spiderman looks like . Steve thats italian spiderman. Jimmy what . Sounds like italian zorro. Steve yeah. [ light laughter ] jimmy all right, italian spiderman. Lets take a listen to italian spiderman. Italian spiderman italian spiderman italian spiderman italian spiderman what up girl pussycat jimmy how much is this fish. [ cheers and applause ] thats all the time we have for do not play. If you have an album or a song you think we should use on our next show, we want to see it. Send your suggestions to our blog at donotplay tonightshow. Com. Stick around, well be right back with Jennifer Lawrence, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] cottonelle asked real people their bums. Ing. What . laughs laughs what does cleanripple texture do . Catches all the stuff that you want to get out. This is really nice. This one is, like, it goes the extra step. It gets it all clean. How does being clean feel . Kind of sassy. Uh, breezy. Hands up. Weeeeeee. My bum is saying, thank you very much. Cleanripple texture is designed to clean better. Go cottonelle, go commando. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy our first guest is an Academy Awardwinning actress who is back as mystique in the new movie, Xmen Apocalypse, which is in theaters and 3d this friday. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Jennifer Lawrence. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy Jennifer Lawrence hi. [ cheers and applause ] hi. Jimmy thank you for coming back to the show. Thank you for dancing like that, too. Yeah. Jimmy i appreciate that. [ laughter ] we have the same dance move. Oh, no. Jimmy yeah, i know. I dance like a dad. [ laughter ] jimmy you dance like a dad, exactly, yeah. I have a really bad feeling about this show. Jimmy yeah, are you have a a feeling goofy . No, i just was walking on my way here, and i was like, i dont have a good feeling about this. [ laughter ] jimmy oh, really . Yeah. Jimmy oh, great. I dont know if its going to be me or you. Jimmy someone. [ laughter ] yeah, probably me. Jimmy somethings going to go down. Those were my first words. [ laughter ] jimmy we always love having you here. I think the last time you were here is right before you got nominated for joy. Congratulations on that. Oh, thank you. [ cheers and applause ] i lost. Jimmy well, yeah. I lost. Yeah, see, well cool it [ laughter ] jimmy i didnt win, yeah. You clearly werent watching [ laughter ] jimmy i am happy and i know that, you know, any time we get to talk about robert de niro, i love talking about him. Whats there to talk about . Hes the quietest guy in the world. [ laughter ] jimmy he doesnt love to talk, but other people can talk about him. Yeah, sure. Jimmy he doesnt enjoy talking, yeah. No, he doesnt. Jimmy but he doesnt have to. Hes the best. Yeah. Jimmy i mean, as an actor, he can read lines and do that. But when you hang out with him, do you can you get anything out of him when you hang out with him . No, nothing. Jimmy what would happen if you guys went out . Say, you went out to dinner. Well, we do go out about, you know, once a week. We, like, get together, and honestly, like, if it werent for him wanting to see me, i would be like, well, he doesnt like me. [ laughter ] you know, we sit there. He, like, just talks, hes so, so quiet. Like, im always like, ah [ laughter ] hes, like, the quietest. I dont know, any time somebody does imitations of him jimmy yeah. Thats him, like, in a movie where hes, like, projecting his voice. Jimmy right. In real life he just talks really you know, like this. Jimmy very polite, yes. Very, very, well, very gentle. [ laughter ] yup, yup, thats exactly right. [ laughter ] and then, and then he always pinches my cheek and goes, oh, you remind me of my little helen. Whos four. Jimmy shes 4yearsold . [ laughter ] jimmy you remind me of little helen. Yeah. Mean, bro. Jimmy he does the same thing to me when i go out with him, yeah. [ laughter ] you remind me of my 4yearold daughter. You were telling me backstage you have to do a lot of press for these movies, these giant movies. And youre great at it, but you tell me when you first started i want because this is a great story. You didnt really understand how to do press. Theres a thing called, like, Media Training. No, i still dont. Well, the Media Training came from from my first ever press conference, like, my first ever, like, moment, like, entering me into a world of messing up press conferences. For the first one, i was there for a movie called burning plains. Im sitting next to, like, Charlize Theron and the director, guillermo arriaga, and jimmy who was in the film . Um jimmy you . Kim basinger, me, Charlize Theron and yeah, so kim basinger wasnt there. Jimmy uhhuh. We were doing an International Press conference. And so somebody said, you know, like, where is kim basinger . And i just leaned into the microphone and i was like, you didnt hear . Kim died. [ laughter ] and then, there was, like, a a beat while it got translated. And then it was like [ imitates beeping ] and then i got ripped off the stage, thrown into Media Training, which is hilarious, because i was like Eliza Dolittle in my fair lady. [ laughter ] they were like, dont sit like that dont talk like that and im like [ screaming ] [ laughter ] jimmy we have to make you into a star, yeah. I love it. No one would have and obviously it didnt take. Jimmy yeah, yeah. No, it worked, absolutely. I dont know. Jimmy oh, please, you were in this giant my mother just told me a a week ago, she was like, stop telling people that they dont have to see xmen. im always like, i dont know, you know. If it feels right, you know. No pressure. [ laughter ] jimmy you can do whatever you want to. I mean, you can see it. Dont see it. We dont care, you know. No. Jimmy you know. [ laughter ] i dont care. Jimmy i mean, we do. Wed love you to see it. They care. Jimmy we dont care, or not. Its done. Yeah, or dont. Jimmy or dont. Yeah, dont. Jimmy but do. But do. [ laughter ] jimmy is it your nephew, who doesnt believe youre in xmen . My nephew, my 4yearold nephew, bear. Jimmy yeah. He is obsessed with xmen, obsessed with xmen, and im like, bear, im in xmen. he says, no, the real xmen. its, like, the most infuriating jimmy we have a video of little bear. You trying to talk to him. This is, like, a mild version of what he does. You know im an xmen . Bear. I play mystique in xmen. Acknowledge it [ laughter ] he hates it. He hates it. Jimmy what a cute kid. He really is. [ applause ] i was on the phone with the producer for this. I was telling this story, and she heard bear go [ imitates farting ] [ laughter ] as soon as i said xmen. Jimmy i love him. Hes, like, going through a a thing. He doesnt like my work. He was in the hunger games, in the last epilogue, like, the last, you know, whatever, blah blah blah, the end. Played my kid. And so, hes on his way to visit me and hes like, dad, do i have to be in this one . [ light laughter ] cute. Jimmy i think hes cute. I want to show everyone a a clip i think hes cute, too. Jimmy yeah. Yeah, what was i saying that you were saying no, no, no. It sounded that way. Jimmy i did. I didnt mean that. It felt like i had to defend myself. Anyway, heres the xmens clip. Watch, dont watch, i dont care. [ laughter ] jimmy no, no. Heres the xmen clip. Please watch. Jennifer lawrence, Xmen Apocalypse. Take a look at this. I was on a plane like this with my friends about your age. We called ourselves the xmen. Hank and i are the only ones left. I couldnt save the rest of them. I told you im not a hero. Well, youre a hero to us. Seeing you that day on tv changed my life. Mine too. Mine too. I mean, i still live in my moms basement, but, you know everybody else is well, its pretty much the same. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy Jennifer Lawrence, xmen. Were happy we watched that clip. Jennifer and i are playing a a game called, true confessions. Thats the name of the game. And we dont know well, youll see. Its either were telling the truth or were lying to each other, but youll see. Its fun and we have a a surprise guest. Did you see the surprise guest . I did. Jimmy hes cool, right . Yeah. Jimmy yeah, or she. [ laughter ] when we come back. Stick around, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ugh. Waa. Wow ohhh aaaaahhhh. Find your diet pepsi emoji today. The seal you can trust. With stain and sealer in one. And easy to choose colors. Exceptional beauty and protection have never been easier. Thompsons waterseal stain and sealer. Available at national retailers. Hey there, can i help you with anything . Hey siri, whats at ts latest offer . Oh, i dont think that siri can. Right now, switch to at t for an iphone and get one free. Wow, is that right . Yeah, its basically. Yes. That is the current offer from at t. Okay siri, you dont know everything. Well, i know you asked me to call you the at t hostess with the mostest. Okay, shut her down. Turn it off. Right now, buy an iphone and get another one free when you add a second line. Crispy m ms® are baaaack. What are you doing . You said to tell our fans crispy m ms® are back. Not those fans did you mean this fan . No. annoyed grumbles what about that one . Theres a fan in the break room, oh and in the. trails off so good, theyre back. Says a lot about who you are. The beer you bring if thats the case, this beer says you like drinking beer. Greattasting, lessfilling beer. Spelled different because its brewed different. Its here, but its going by fast. The opportunity of the year is back the mercedesbenz summer event. Get to your dealer today for incredible onceaseason offers, and start firing up those grilles. Lease the e350 for 499 a month at your local mercedesbenz dealer. Mercedesbenz. The best or nothing. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy welcome back. Im here with Jennifer Lawrence. Her new movie, Xmen Apocalypse, opens this friday. Jennifer and i are about to play a game of deception called true confessions. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy now first, were going to need another player to fill out the table and we found a good one. Hes the host of last week tonight, which airs sundays at 11 00 p. M. On hbo. Please welcome john oliver. [ cheers and applause ] seth how are you . John oliver. Thank you. Jimmy this is so fun. Thank you for joining us. Guys, heres how the game works. In front of us we have two envelopes containing confessions. Okay . In one of the envelopes is something that actually happened to us in real life. In the second envelope is a a lie. Once youve read your confession, the other two players have 60 seconds to interrogate you and then they each have to guess whether youve been lying or telling truth. Okay. Well take one turn each. Sure. Jimmy lets get stared. Jennifer, you go first. Oh, god, that was my biggest fear. Jimmy john, which envelope should jennifer open . Um, two . Jimmy yeah. Two. Jimmy im feeling two as well. Envelope two. Jimmy interesting, interesting. It just says pregnant. [ light laughter ] jimmy interesting. I once took an ambien before filming a scene in the hunger games. [ light laughter ] jimmy was the scene in the scene were you sleeping in the scene . No. Jimmy you were not, you were awake . No, in fact, i was dancing. Jimmy youre supposed to be dancing in the hunger games. Were you fighting in this scene . Was it a fight scene that you slept through . No, no. Do i just answer it in yes or no . Can i elaborate . Jimmy you can elaborate, sure. Yeah, that wouldnt be fun. No. It wasnt a dance scene. No, i woke up and yeah, i thought it was Something Else as a confession that was, like, normal to take. Anyway if this is true, is this going to cause you legal problems with the studio . Um, the movies are done. [ laughter ] thats not how the law works. Its all about star wars now. Jimmy interesting. So you took but did anyone know, was Anyone Around you when you took this . No. Jimmy this can go either way for me. [ buzzer ] whats that sound . Jimmy thats my cellphone. Im sorry. [ light laughter ] im getting a call. Im getting a call. Ill get it later. What do you think . Its plausible. Jimmy yeah. Its reckless. Yeah. I kind of like it. [ laughter ] if its not true, i am going to be very sad. Im saying its true. Jimmy im going to say youre that good of an actor that you can probably definitely take your time more with this decision. [ laughter ] jimmy i say its true. Its true. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy did anyone know . Forget the rest jimmy forget these. Were done, were done, were done. Jimmy were done. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Were done with the interogration. Okay. Jimmy okay. Here we go. My turn. Which envelope, jennifer . Liar jimmy liar . The first one. Jimmy the first one, of course, yeah. I once wrote a song called am i doing it wrong and offered it free of charge to sir Paul Mccartney. [ laughter ] what year . Jimmy this year. Oh, this year . Jimmy yeah. What was sir pauls reaction to the offer . Jimmy would you like to hear the song . No, what was his reaction first. [ laughter ] i dont doubt that you have a song. Yeah. I want to see how did you get it to Paul Mccartney . Jimmy we we im a a giant fan of his and i think weve kind of become kind of friends. Its onesided, but its a a onesided friendship. [ light laughter ] right. Jimmy i have his cell phone number. Now i do want to hear this song. The onesided friendship song that you threw into his face. Am i doing it wrong am i doing it wrong am i doing it wrong am i doing it wrong am i doing it wrong you semt that to him . Jimmy i left that on his voice mail. [ light laughter ] and i have free of charge. Ive not heard back. From paul. So you called him . Jimmy yeah. [ drumroll ] thats the part i dont buy. Jimmy were out of questions. Why would the phone call be the big lie there . I dont care about the music, i want to get back to the phone call. You texted him, didnt you . Jimmy both. Anyways, interrogations over. Not true. No, it is true. It is true. Its not true. Am i doing it wrong . Its true. Its not true. Jimmy because its pretty good . Its sadly true, yeah. I figured what i figured is i figured nobody sends songs, ideas, to Paul Mccartney, because hes the greatest songwriter on the history of the face of earth. So thats what made you think it was a good idea . Jimmy you have something on your nose. Is it a booger . Jimmy yeah. I felt it. [ laughter ] jimmy did you feel it . I totally felt it. When did it shoot up . Like, were on tv. Theres no way i a booger [ laughter ] jimmy you totally boogerred up. Is it gone . Jimmy its totally gone. Its somewhere. [ laughter ] its somewhere. I dont know where it is. But its not there. Its not on your nose. I told you. Jimmy you called it. Lying really has a negative effect on the body. Jimmy john, its down to you now here. Okay. Jimmy now, i will choose the envelope. Im gonna say i think youre going to be a good liar. I just want to say that before we start. Thats unkind, but sure. [ light laughter ] jimmy in a good friendly way. English people lied our way to an empire. Jimmy two, i will say. Number two . Okay, what is this . As a teenager, i had a summer job working in the kitchen at buckingham palace. Not true. Jimmy no way. [ laughter ] no way. Jimmy no way. Absolutely no way. What, hold on, why would that not be true . How did you get into the palace . Where did you park . I didnt park. I was a teenager. I didnt have a car. Jimmy where did you ride your skate board . [ light laughter ] i flew in on an umbrella, you racists. Jimmy come on. It was, you could apply school kids could apply to work in the kitchen and i did that year. So i lived nearby and i walked. What was your most memorable meal that you made . I made the queen an omelet for breakfast. Jimmy that is not true at all. This is so ba humbug. No way. What kind of omelet . What did she have in her omelet . It was a feta cheese omelet. [ light laughter ] no jimmy the queen would not eat feta cheese. That is true. That is definitely true. Jimmy no way, man. Yeah, youre right. She wouldnt eat feta cheese. [ laughter ] jimmy we busted you already. Yeah. You did. Jimmy thats where you lie. It was a lie. She wouldnt eat feta cheese, its too greek. Whats your truth . My truth was [ buzzer ] what was my truth . Oh, at 19, i was thrown out of a tokyo sauna for not being naked enough. [ laughter ] jimmy we dont need to hear that. We dont need to count that. Our thanks to Jennifer Lawrence and john oliver. [ cheers and applause ] true confessions. George lopez joins us after the break. Stick around, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] and theyre off well, that took a turn. Whats the speed limit in here . Dad should we tell them there are more . Theyll figure it out, eventually. They call you short stack. Half pint. Lil bit. Small fry. Nobody even knows your name. But thats about to change. Time to shine. Orbit. Thanks for tnorfolk around and i just wanted to say, geico is proud to have served the military for over 75 years roger that. Captains waiting to give you a tour of the wisconsin now. Couldve parked a little bit closer. Its gonna be dark by the time i get there. Geico®. Proudly serving the military for over 75 years. Making their getaway in a prius. Have outlasted authorities by this game ends now. To catch a prius, youve gotta be a prius. Guys, whats that . Oh, man. Toyota. Lets go places. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy our next guest is a a very, very, very funny comedian and actor. Hes got a new show called lopez which airs wednesday nights at 10 00 p. M. On tv land. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome george lopez. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy looking good. Hey, nice to see you again. Well, im sitting there minding my own business and i get the call that you guys need diversity and here i am [ laughter and applause ] jimmy thats exactly right. Thank you. Meanwhile, thank you for that unplay list, because im walking down the hall and im like jamaica jimmy thats not a bad. That songs not bad actually. Half the songs they play there, actually, i always end up liking. How much was the fish was a little bit have to go on a a long drive to get that one. Jimmy yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. Eventually got there, yeah. Hey, i want to say i met your beautiful daughter backstage. Okay, listen, my daughter, she loves me, but she is she loves you so much, jimmy. Listen, you know what she told me . You know when you have a good friend and then you have a a friend thats not as good as the other friend and they say why cant you be more like him . When you left, shes like, thats how a man acts [ laughter ] jimmy fallon is an angel. I said, no, hes a nice guy. No, hes an angel [ laughter ] and they pin his wings back before the show and after he just flies. [ laughter ] jimmy good, im happy that so check this out. Theres a contest in los angeles at Madame Tussauds called fallonselfie. Jimmy uhhuh. So my daughter is such a a huge fan of yours. And by the way, jimmy doesnt have just one wax figure, this cat, hes got five. So a mexican, thats a gang. Hes got a gang. [ laughter ] and theyre all different. So my daughter takes pictures with you. And heres the first show this picture. [ light laughter ] thats when they first meet. Thats the first one. Jimmy yeah. You know, her caption was i know were looking in Different Directions but were so much the same. [ light laughter ] jimmy i like that. Heres the second picture. Jimmy hey, there you go. Thats what im talking about. She won the contest and she can go to any wax figure where Madame Tussauds around the world. Youre in amsterdam, youre in phoenix, theres one in new york. Jimmy yeah, its true. Theres one up in buffalo. So, she met him before the show. Now look it, it gets better. Heres my picture of her and i. Jimmy you have a wax figure. No contacts. [ light laughter ] thats the guy that wouldnt let me eat more than one fruit rollup. [ laughter ] that son of a bitch wouldnt buy me a car at graduation. [ laughter ] who cusses in a hashtag . Jimmy you got a different look than that george lopez. You know what, somebody said to me on the plane, i thought they werent extraditing you until the end of next month. [ laughter ] they thought i was el chapo. [ laughter and applause ] jimmy wait a second, wait a a second, youre not el chapo . Im not el chapo jimmy wait a second or am i . Jimmy i thought we booked el chapo. I decided to just look like Manny Pacquiao and Colonel Sanders had a baby. [ laughter and applause ] jimmy come on, no, no. You look good, youre a stud. You gotta do this. You know, theres a lot of dudes e a lot of references, youre like the guy on you know, mcdreamy. You know Partick Dempsey was mcdreamy. And then theres smoky guy, theres a mysterious looking dude. Jimmy yeah. I just got pulled over by the lapd. They said i look suspicious. So i might have to trim it. Quest, i might have to trim it. Jimmy suspicious is not the i said, thats my look, man. Thats my look. Jimmy why would because when im driving, im like that suspicious. Listen, im keeping it if trump becomes president , im gonna need this. [ laughter and applause ] jimmy lets talk about lopez. Yeah. Jimmy this is on tv land. Congratulations. Thank you very much. Jimmy another hit show. Its super funny. How would you describe the show . I would describe it as a, lets see, a west coast curb. Jimmy curb your enthusiasm. Or a less mexican louie. You know louis is mexican now. So a lessmexican louie. Jimmy is louis mexican . Yeah, thats what he said. Jimmy i didnt know that. Theres a lot of redheaded mexicans. Youre not supposed [ laughter ] jimmy i didnt know that at all. Or mex in the city. Theres a lot of alias. Jimmy mex in the city. Csi. Jimmy i want to talk about, youre doing the comedy get down tour with cedric the entertainer, gosh he makes me laugh. D. L. Hughley, eddie griffin, charlie murphy. This is fun. Its amazing. One show, all those guys in one show. You know when youre young and you tour, you know, theres might take a little drugs or something. But were all in our 50s. Before we just, you know, hows your glucose level . Im ready. [ laughter ] jimmy how sad. We had a dude that came around and sold cialis. But his thing was, hey guy, its from the factory. Were like, all right, all right. Jimmy comedygetdown. Com. Get some tickets. George lopez, everybody. Lopez airs wednesdays at 10 00 p. M. , on tv land. Funny, funny man. We have music from tom odell after the break. Stick around. [ cheers and applause ] the seal you can trust. With stain and sealer in one. And easy to choose colors. Exceptional beauty and protection have never been easier. Thompsons waterseal stain and sealer. Available at national retailers. Now you cant spell nutriam i right . T nut, i mean whose to say its pronounced nutriton, anyway . My mixes contain delicious nuts, specially blended for your optimal nutrition. Thats right, i just changed a word in the english dictionary, forever. Planters. Nutrition starts with nut. Im free to do what i want and have a good time. The ford freedom sales event is on and zero for 72 is back on 2016 ford focus, fusion and escape. 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When you get 3 lines for 40 bucks each, the fourth line is free. Switch today. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy tonights musical guest will release his second album, wrong crowd, on june 10th. Performing magnetised, please welcome tom odell [ cheers and applause ] see those birds going across the sky three thousand miles they fly how do they know which way to go somehow they always seem to know they say theres Mother Nature in everything we see wish i had a little Mother Nature in me a little Mother Nature in me cause its not right im magnetised to somebody that dont feel it love paralyzed shes never gonna need me but sure as the world keeps the moon in the sky shell keep me hanging on she keeps me hanging on see the couple riding on the bus falling asleep with so much trust i wish i had a chance to let them know their love is like a flower in the snow if its just pheromones then that may be i wish you had a little pheromones for me i wish you had a little pheromones for me cause its not right im magnetised to somebody that dont feel it love paralyzed i know youre never gonna need me im sure as the world keeps the moon in the sky shell keep me hanging on she keeps me hanging on she keeps me hanging on she keeps me hanging on north to south white to black when you love someone that dont love you back its not right im magnetised to somebody that dont feel it love paralyzed shes never gonna need me but sure as the world keeps the moon in the sky shell keep me hanging on keep me hanging on shell be hanging on keep me hanging on keeps me hanging on she keeps me hanging on keeps me hanging on one two three four whoa she keeps me hanging on whoa she keeps me hanging on keeps me hanging on [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thank you so much tom odell wrong crowd is available for preorder now. Well be right back, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy my thanks to Jennifer Lawrence, george lopez, john oliver. Tom odell, once again. [ cheers and applause ] and the roots, right there, from philadelphia, pennsylvania. [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for late night with seth meyers. Thank you for watching. Have a great night. I hope to see you tomorrow. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] announcer from 30 Rockefeller Plaza in new york, its late night with seth meyers. Tonight dave franco. Star of braindead, actress Mary Elizabeth winstead. Music from diarrhea planet. Featuring the 8g band with jon theodore. [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, Seth Meyers Seth good evening, everybody. Im seth meyers. This is late night. How is everybody doing tonight . [ cheers and applause ] that is good to hear. Lets get to the news. President obama formally endorsed Hillary Clinton for president earlier this afternoon. Thats right. President obama tried to set us up with his ex. [ laughter ] Bernie Sanders met with
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