This is a confusing story, so let me try to break it down. Reality winner leaked information about a reality denier who tried to influence the election to support a reality host who is detached from reality. [ light laughter ] so now the winner is the loser and this loser who helped this loser win is the winner and thats our reality. [ laughter and applause ] pretty simple. Education secretary betsy devos said that while schools receiving federal funds must abide by federal civil rights laws, the department will not enter decrees on things like lgbt discrimination. Coincidentally, lgbt is also how betsy devos thinks you spell discrimination. [ light laughter ] according to reports, four top law firms have turned down requests from the white house to represent President Trump during the russia investigation. Man, how guilty do have you to be when a lawyer wont even take your case . [ laughter and applause ] bill cosby has a lawyer. O. J. Had like five of them. At this rate the president is going to have to rely on the law firm of stumpy and lurch. [ laughter ] objection, your honor, erics touching me [ laughter ] a bar in washington, d. C. Has announced that it will open early in the morning on thursday, for people to watch former fbi director james comey testify before the Senate Intelligence committee. Though the move could upset some of the bars regulars. [ laughter ] i come here to forget. [ light laughter ] passengers on a new york subway train were trapped last night for nearly an hour without lights or airconditioning after it lost power on the track. The passengers are okay, but the mariachi band was beaten to death. [ laughter ] thats right, passengers on a subway train were trapped for an hour without lights and airconditioning. One man said it was so uncomfortable, he could barely masturbate. [ laughter ] [ audience oohs ] following salmonella outbreaks across the country, the center for Disease Control is urging chicken owners to stop snuggling with their birds. Though if youre snuggling with chickens, salmonella is like your fifth biggest problem. [ laughter ] due to struggling revenue, the ceo of retailer j. Crew announced yesterday that he is stepping down. Store employees are being asked to wear their collars at half popped. [ laughter ] and finally, today was atheist pride day. Thank god its finally over. [ laughter and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a great show for you tonight. She is starring in lifetimes menendez blood brothers. Courtney love is on the show tonight very excited to talk to her. [ cheers and applause ] he is a very funny comedian and actor. Hes in a great new film, beatriz at dinner. John early joins us tonight. [ cheers and applause ] and very honored and thrilled to be cooking with renowned sushi chef, chef Masa Takayama will be here this evening as well. [ cheers and applause ] you know, you guys, im in my 40s now. Im married, i have a kid and nothing, nothing makes me feel older than when i do not understand the new slang terms that teenagers are using. And it seems like these days teen slang terms are evolving so fast that it is impossible to keep up. So as a service to you, and as a service to me, we decided to give you a little primer on new teen slang terms in a segment we call, seth explains teen slang. [ cheers and applause ] seth our first new slang term the teens are using is highkea. Lets see what it means. Its when are you so high it takes an hourandahalf to put a sandwich together. [ laughter ] here it is in a sentence. Got so highkea on friday that it took us 90 minutes to make a Peanut Butter and jelly sandwich or as jeff called it a flergenblerg. [ laughter ] our next new teen slang term is fathers day present. Lets see what it means. Its something you put a minimal amount of effort into. [ laughter ] here it is in a sentence. I only spent an hour writing my term paper. Its a total fathers day present. Happy fathers day, mrs. Monroe. [ laughter ] next is riohno. This is a phrase for when your mom messes up the words to a rihanna song. [ laughter ] for example, just heard my mom in the kitchen singing we found gloves in a popeless place. riohno. [ light laughter ] next we have study afraud. Lets see what it means. Its someone who claims they missed a semester to study abroad, but clearly just did a stint in rehab. [ laughter ] here it is in a sentence. Jessica says she was in spain, but girl dont speak spanish and shes always trying to make amends with me. Studyafraud. Moving on, we have leprom james. This is the guy at a High School Dance who looks way too old to be there. [ laughter ] for example, melissa said her prom date goes to another school, but im pretty sure that leprom james was in a frat with my dad. [ laughter ] up next, you guys might know about the romphim, the romper designed for men. Heres a photo of it. There you go. [ scattered cheers ] well the romphim really . Okay. [ laughter ] theres something im even farther afield of teens on. Well, this has inspired a brand new teen slang term. Its romphimpotent. And this in an adjective used to describe when your romphim is so tight it has rendered you impotent. [ laughter ] for example, tried to be trendy with my extra small romphim. Now ill never have kids. Romphimpotent. [ laughter ] next up, this is a good one. Its daniel day jewish. And its really, this ones really taking off with teens. This is someone who acts like theyre jewish to date the hot orthodox girl in class. [ light laughter ] for example, paul is christian, but ever since he met batshiva hes been wearing a yarmulke and talking about how much he is schvitzing. [ laughter ] boys gone full daniel day jewish. Oymyleftfoot. [ laughter and applause ] oy now this next teen slang term is incredibly specific, but i think you will find it incredibly useful as you go about your daily life. It involves both the National Honor society and the illfated 1840s covered wagon expedition, the donner party. Its national donner society. This is when the Honor Society gets lost on a field trip and is forced to resort to cannibalism. [ laughter ] you can already see how youre gonna use it. Here it is in a sentence. What was supposed to be a twoday camping trip in the poconos turned into a threemonth long ordeal where we had to make some hard choices. Long story short, we ate eric. Nationaldonnersociety. Tasteslikechicken. [ laughter and applause ] youll find the need to use it. Our last teen slang term is chubstitute. Lets see what it means. Its a substitute teacher who gives you an erection. [ laughter ] [ audience oohs ] youll need it [ laughter ] for example, did you see the chubstitute in science class . She asked me to go up to the chalkboard and i had to bring my desk with me. [ laughter and applause ] you guys, that was seth explains teen slang. Well be right back with more late night. [ cheers and applause ] do you always put cheezit grooves in your sandwich . Of course theyre chips. Chips. Plus sandwich equals the perfect lunch. Ooooh. Dont forget the pickle. Its kind of a big dill. Cheezit grooves. Chips made with 100 real cheese. Dang right its a chip with motionsense technology. Degree has redefined deodorant so that i can redefine. Power. Footwork. Range. The more i move, the more it works. Degree. It wont let you down. Better than a manual, and my hygienist says it does. But. Theyre not all the same. Turns out, theyre really. Different. Who knew . I had no idea. So, she said look for. One thats shaped like a dental tool with a round. Brush head. Go pro with oralb. Oralbs rounded brush head surrounds each tooth to. Gently remove more plaque and. Oralb crossaction is clinically proven to. Remove more plaque than sonicare diamondclean. My mouth feels so clean. Ill only use an oralb the 1 brand used by dentists worldwide. Oralb. Brush like a pro. This is the story of how q got curly. Quin was crazy about curls. Curly fries. Curly straws. Curly haired dogs. Even those cute curly tails on pigs. But to quins chagrin everything about her was so very straight. Which made the next twist so amazing. Did she expect to find a highend hair curler at a mindbendingly low price . Never. But thats the beauty of a store full of surprises. You never know what youre gonna find, but you know youre gonna love it. Marshalls. Your surprise is waiting. Bill assumed his mayo was the best choice. Assume nothing. Just like the leading brand, kraft real mayo is made with high Quality Ingredients at a price you can feel good about no wonder kraft is so good. That one right there. For those who create their own path. Always unstoppable. [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back, everybody the movie wonder woman had a huge opening at the box office this weekend. It became the first femaleled superhero blockbuster ever. But people have differing opinions about the praise the film has received. To make sure you get to see the issues from both sides, weve invited two of our writers with contrasting points of view. Well examine their opinions in a segment we call point, counterpoint. [ cheers and applause ] seth ally and amber, thank you for being here to discuss this film. First question wonder woman grossed over 100 million this weekend. Is this a definitive triumph for women in film, ally . It absolutely is. But lets not pat ourselves on the backs just because hollywood made one blockbuster movie with a female protagonist. Women only account for 32 of all speaking roles in movies. A real triumph would be to be bringing that ratio to halfandhalf. Seth halfandhalf. Amber . Half and half is delicious. [ light laughter ] have you ever had it . Its like if milk and ice cream had a very yummy baby. You can just put half and half in your coffee or you can just put sprinkles in it and drink it straight and have a party in your mouth. [ light laughter ] wait, what . Seth moving on wonder woman is the First Successful superhero movie directed by a woman. Do you think this will encourage studios to put more women behind the camera, ally . I certainly hope so. Right now only 7 of hollywood directors are women. But i will say the true Glass Ceiling will be broken when studios give females directors big budgets, even after they have a box office flop. Just like they do with male directors. There is still a lot of work to be done to achieve equality in our nations film canon. Seth strong words. Amber . I think cannons a great. [ light laughter ] especially when theyre filled with confetti one time, i jumped out from behind my grandmas couch and shot off the confetti cannon and the whole room filled with tiny sparkles and she fainted. [ laughter ] and when she came to, she whispered, that was fun. [ light laughter ] seth your grandma sounds like a great lady. She is. Hey, nana seth, shes talking about confetti when the topic is wonder woman. These are things i wonder as a woman. [ light laughter ] you know what else i wonder, can i do a daryl hall impression . Youre a rich girl and youre going too far but you know it dont matter anyway i can seth you can. I thought he was right here, that was amazing. [ light laughter ] next up also breaking records this year, the movie get out, which had a black lead and a black director. Could this lead to more films for underserved audience, ally . Seth, every time a demographic that isnt white male and 1824 comes out to support something, Corporate America is shocked. Why . We have jobs, we make money, and we spend that money. The fact that minorities are a powerful Economic Force shouldnt be a surprise. Seth well said. Amber . You know whats a surprise . This [ bang ] [ scream ] oh, my god. [ laughter ] amber [ laughter and applause ] seth now [ laughter ] just real quick, lets step out of the scene for a minute and talk talk about how long we rehearsed this today. [ laughter ] i shot exactly [ laughter ] seth you two were backstage saying, oh, its so easy, its just a button. [ laughter ] i just accidentally shot it right every other time. [ laughter ] oh seth all right. [ light laughter ] the point is, amber shooting herself with a confetti cannon is off topic. It has nothing to do with what we are talking about. Seth ally, this isnt pointpoint. Its point, counterpoint, okay, ally . You get a point and then amber gets a point thats how it works, ally. Fine did we get it all . Yes. You look beautiful. Thanks seth and finally what [ light laughter ] wonder woman has been a big hit with critics. But why do you think its resonating with audiences . You know you know what, seth, i have an answer for that, but i wont waste my time because im sure amber has something ridiculous to say or do, dont you . Actually, i dont. I saw wonder woman this weekend and when i saw it, i cried. It resonated with me, because i was so moved by seeing a strong powerful woman represented on screen. [ light laughter ] its impossible to put into words [ light laughter ] what that movie meant to women or how much that movie can change the lives of young girls. Wow, amber, that [ light laughter ] that was beautiful. Beautifully delivered. [ light laughter ] seth that was that was totally beautiful. [ laughter ] that was so much more beautiful than anything ally has said or done. Okay. Okay. I think whats equally important is [ bang ] [ scream ] [ laughter and applause ] seth yay [ light laughter ] amber, stop doing that, thats rude. Youre right. Where are my manners . Oh, thank you. [ bang ] seth all right. [ cheers and applause ] yeah that was fun. Seth this has been point, counterpoint. Well be right back with Courtney Love. [ cheers and applause ] with unitedhealthcare, you can get rewarded for all kinds of things. Like walking. Hey, honey. Dad, wheres the car . Thought wed walk. Hes counting steps. Walk, move and earn money. Goal dad. Hey, we wanna welcome everyone to the father daughter dance. Look at this dad, hes got some moves money you can use on outofpocket medical expenses. Hes ok, yeah unitedhealthcare sourced entirely in france, for a character all its own. Grey goose. The worlds best tasting vodka. So, if anyone has a reason that these two should not be wed, speak now. coughs so sorry. Oh no. Its just that your friend daryl here is supposed to be Live Streaming the wedding and hes not getting any service. I missed, like, the whole thing. What . And i just got an unlimited plan. Its the right plan, wrong network. You see, verizon has the largest, most reliable 4g lte network in america. Its built to work better in cities. Tell you what, just use mine. Thanks. No problem. All right, lets go live. Say hi to everybody who wasnt invited vo when it really, really matters, you need the best network and the best unlimited. Plus, get our best smartphones for just 15 a month. Prone jar shatterst livthe competition. Pe . Olay regenerist hydrates skin better than creams costing over 100, 200, and even 400. Fact check this ad in good housekeeping. Olay. Ageless. Welcome to maxx you. You are whimsical, vibrant, statement making. We see what makes you unique. So we have something for everyone, at a price thats just right for you. Maxx you. Maxx life. T. J. Maxx bite into magnum double caramel. And unleash your wild side. Made with silky vanilla bean ice cream and rich belgian chocolate. Discover magnum. [ eerie music playing ] it takes a monster. She did something to me. To defeat a monster. The essence of evil calls to you now. The mummy. Rated pg13. [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back. Give it up for the 8g band. Theyre right over there, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] also back with us tonight, the drummer from the grammy awardwinning band, cage the elephant. Theyre going to play bonnaroo music and Arts Festival this weekend before kicking off their headlining european tour. Jared champion is here, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] thank you for being here, jared. Our first guest tonight is a golden globenominated actress and talented musician. You can see her next in the true crime film menendez blood brothers, which premiers this sunday on lifetime. Lets take a look. I cant do that to lyle. Your brother takes care of himself. Hes always been that way. Hes like your father. They always have a solution, a plan. Thats not true. Lyle took care of me. He saved me. Youre too loyal. Dont make the same mistakes i made. Seth please welcome to the show Courtney Love, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome to the show. Thank you for having me. Seth its wonderful to have you here. Now, congrats on this film thank you. Seth you play Kitty Menendez. Yes. Seth these murders happen in 1989. Was this a story that you were aware of back then . Were you following it sort of every day . Well, when when it was on like court tv and stuff, it was like 90, 91, 92, i was in seattle. I was kind of seth doing doing different stuff . Doing different stuff seth yeah. [ light laughter ] i was in my own little, you know, world. Seth yeah. But i i researched it really heavily and seth gotcha. And so you and what did you youve played real people before. Did you find the research was very helpful in playing Kitty Menendez . No, because there is not a lot on her. Seth right. Theres like three pictures and like one little video clip so seth okay, yeah. Sort of made it up. Seth so you researched pretty quickly . You were like, ill just knock this out in the morning over my coffee. Yeah. Over my coffee. Seth yeah. Yeah. Seth do you like do you like your life as an actress. Yeah, i do. Its very its its much more mildmannered than the rockstar thing. Seth yeah. Its its its its smooth chilling. Seth yeah. Do you look at your career as both a musician and an actor as different stages, or do you see it as all blending together . Kind of, i mean one, you can go on howard stern and give Marilyn Manson as much crap as you want. And youre not going to get any consequences for it. Seth yeah. But in movies, you have to be polite about everybody. Seth yeah. Plus, they give you lines ahead of time and then those are the ones you have to say. I do have to learn the lines and, yeah. Seth well, thats good. And then youre everybody is really much its nice. Its like having you know, when you do a movie, its like having a little bands. Seth uhhuh. And then you leave and you do another movie and you have another little band. Seth right. When you have a band, its like a 30 year marriage. Seth right, thats true. So so seth basically, having a band is a marriage and movies are affairs . Yes seth yeah. [ light laughter ] yes seth thats true, yeah. And youre also, you i know youre still doing music. You wrote written some new songs . Yeah. Seth but you have a book that youre that you have to finish. I want to reach the millennials. Seth oh, really . Me too, man.