[ laughter and applause ] whats that . What . [ cheers and applause ] i got confirmed. Well, thats terrible news. [ light laughter ] oh, its good news. The leader of iran said today that President Trump represents the real face of the u. S. [ light laughter ] are you kidding me . Trump doesnt even represent his own real face. [ light laughter ] also right about now, the real face of the u. S. Looks like this. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] aides who traveled with President Trump on the campaign trail, recently revealed that the three staples of his diet were dominoes, kfc, and mcdonalds. Corroborating this story, trumps big ol butt. [ laughter and applause ] billionaire richard branson, recently released a video of former president obama, kite surfing with him in the virgin islands. Hey man, i get that you dont have to deal with all this anymore, but could you not rub it in . [ laughter ] this is why people unfriend their exes on facebook. [ light laughter ] im gonna see what baracks up to, im sure hes also sad and depressed. Son of a [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] President Trump reportedly spent eight hours on the golf course this weekend, and as usual, paul ryan carried his balls. [ audience oohs ] [ laughter and applause ] according to a new poll, 54 of americans disapprove of the job President Trump is doing. Or as betsy devos calls that, one third. [ light laughter ] according to new research, babies should be picked up every time they cry. Okay, said mike pence. [ laughter and applause ] a Buddhist Monk in myanmar, has been arrested after authorities found more than 2 million meth pills in his car, and in his monastery. And i think i speak for everyone when i say, monks have cars . [ light laughter ] according to a recent survey, 71 of men find it attractive, when a woman offers to split the bill on a date. And 0 of women find it attractive when that offer is accepted. [ laughter and applause ] [ light laughter ] okay. I guess we are splitting it. [ light laughter ] according to a new survey, almost a third of people say their coworkers, spend more time talking about politics than business. Thank god thats not the case wear i work. Said mike pence. [ light laughter ] barely barely comes up. [ light laughter ] and finally nasa recently said a new spacesuit system, that would flush away an astronauts waste, will likely debut in 2021. Said one astronaut, wait, these dont . [ light laughter ] ladies and gentlemen we have a great show for you tonight. [ cheers and applause ] he is a cnn anchor, and his latest book the rainbow comes and goes is out now in paperback, our friend Anderson Cooper is back on the show. [ cheers and applause ] i cannot tell you how excited i am about this, she is a Country Music icon, and her new album sing it now, songs of faith and hope is fantastic. Reba mcentire, the legend, here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] and, in honor of the 141st annual Westminster Kennel Club dog show, which airs live on nat geo wild february 12th through the 14th, im going to learn how to properly handle a dog. So that will be fun. Especially since ive had dogs my whole life, and ive obviously been doing it wrong. [ light laughter ] before we get to all that, President Donald Trump recently signed an executive order, implementing a freeze on federal hiring. But the order has attracted criticism, specifically for its impact on veterans. For more on this, its time for a segment we call the check in. [ applause ] so, throughout the campaign, trump boasted about his military expertise and admiration for those who have served our country. The vets, oh, those vets, i love those vets. Were gonna take care of those vets. Ive worked hard for the vets. Theres nobody bigger or better at the military than i am. Seth theres nobody better at the military . [ light laughter ] im also very good at the civilian. [ light laughter ] despite his great admiration for the troops, and the military as a whole, young donald trump never got the opportunity to serve his country on the battle field. Trump was sidelined during the war in vietnam, due to a tragic ailment. I had a foot thing, and i got a deferment for that. Which foot did you have the bone spur in . Uh, youll look it up in the records. I dont know, its in the records. Seth trump knows the difference between right and wrong. Its right and left that give him trouble. [ light laughter ] what a harrowing moment that must have been, when the doctor walked in and said, i dont know how to tell you this, you have a foot thing. [ light laughter ] trump later said he felt bad about not serving in vietnam. And lets give him serious credit here, he did donate over 1 million to build a vietnam war memorial in downtown manhattan, which was completed in 1985. And which he bragged about during the campaign, but questions arose about how involved he really was in the process. For example, a 1984 article in the washington post, revealed that trump went to only two or three out of the 20 meetings. You couldnt even sit in the meetings . Did the bone spurs in your foot spread to your ass . [ laughter ] but trump was very, very proactive about another issue that had to do with disabled military veterans. In 1991, trump tried to get local politicians to ban street vendors, which also included those with special disabled veterans licenses. Writing in a letter, while disabled veterans should be given every opportunity to earn a living, is it fair to do so, to the determent of the city as a whole, or its tax paying citizens and businesses. Do we allow fifth ave, one of the worlds finest and most luxurious shopping districts, to be turned into an outdoor flea market, clogging and seriously downgrading the area. The only thing that would be more expensive and inconvenient to new yorkers, is if the president lived in a tower with his name on it. Now [ laughter and applause ] lets get lets get to the department of veterans affairs. Throughout his campaign, trump constantly brought attention to problems at the v. A. Specifically, how poorly it is run. And hes right about that. For many years now, under both bush and obama, many parts of the v. A. Have been found guilty of fraud, and are providing shoddy health care to our veterans. But trump himself was criticized in december, for not meeting with major veterans groups, during the transition period. With one prominent veterans advocate writing, its a month after the election, and he still hasnt made time for a single leader from a National Veterans service organization. But in trumps defense, he was busy meeting with other brave american heroes. Oh, yes. [ light laughter ] who could ever forget how hard and how bravely kanye west fought for taylor swifts microphone. [ light laughter ] now one of the main problems at the v. A. , is that many departments, including v. A. Hospitals, are chronically understaffed. But one of trumps first moves as president , was to put a freeze on federal hiring. Thats when press secretary sean spicer, said the focus on staffing was overhyped. I think the v. A. In particular, if you look at the problems that have plagued people, hiring more people isnt the answer. Seth hiring more people is not the answer, unless the question is where are all the [ bleep ] people . [ laughter ] does anyone work here . I now the other issue [ applause ] the other issue with the federal hiring freeze, is that veterans get preference when it comes to federal hiring in general. And according to advocacy groups, several veterans have already had job interviews canceled or postponed. Some have even shared personal stories, like a 30yearold air force veteran whod recently returned home after a decade of active duty. He was supposed to start working at an agency that evaluates contracts for the department of defense. But thanks to that hiring freeze, the start date has been postponed indefinitely. He told mens journal, this morning i got a call from the Human Resources rep saying there is nothing she can do, which would be a good slogan for the Trump Administration so far, theres nothing we can do. [ light laughter ] this whole thing is just another example of trump signing these executive orders in haste, without thinking about the consequences, and in turn leaving a trail of chaos. You know, at first i thought he was just showing off his signature, but now i think hes going, hey, can someone read this to me . I feel like this might be a terrible idea. [ laughter ] a lot of the people, affected by this freeze, are people who serve this country. People for whom trump promised to fight. And instead hes making it even harder for them to assimilate back to civilian life, by, in some cases, taking away their ability to work. And thats hard, but dont think donald trump cant empathize, because remember i had a foot thing. [ laughter ] seth this has been the check in. [ cheers and applause ] well be right back with Anderson Cooper, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] dont look now but chuck norris is right behind you. I heard superheroes read chuck norris comics. I heard at night, the boogeyman checks under the bed for chuck. I heard cats say they have chucklike reflexes. Do you think hes still got it . I bet you a buck he catches this salt shaker. Youre on hey chuck you owe me a buck. You cant always see whats coming but when you choose unitedhealthcare, finding an innetwork doctor thats close to home is easy. So what happened . I had lunch with chuck norris. Unitedhealthcare. Th. Oh, bakedon alfredo . E. Gotta rinse that. Nope. No way. Nada. Really . Dish issues . Throw it all in. Cascade platinum powers through. Your toughest stuckon food. Nice. Cascade. Sir . You give me that salad and i will pay for your movie and one snack box. Can i keep the walnuts . Yes. But i get to pick your movie. Can i pick the genre . Nope. With the blue cash everyday card you get cash back on purchases with no annual fee. Backed by the service and security of american express. You get cash back on purchases with no annual fee. Remember 2007 . Smartphones . O m g ten years later, nothings really changed. Its time to snap out of it. Hello moto. Snap on a jbl speaker. Put a 70 screen on a wall. Get a 10x optical zoom. Get excited world. Hello moto. Moto is here. The moto z with motomods. Get 50 off on moto z droid. [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back, everybody. Please give it up for the 8g band right over there. [ cheers ] also so excited this week. Fred armisen is back on the drums, our band leader. How are you, fred . Fred great, thanks. [ cheers and applause ] seth and fred, im always so impressed with all the things you have going on in your life. I feel like, as a writer, as an actor, as all the hats you wear, you still have the time to do the most incredible things. And i want to ask about this, you know. We have the westminster dogs, some of the dogs on tonight. And thats in february, the Westminster Dog Show, very famous. Is it true that youre hosting a show of your own to compete with the Westminster Dog Show . Fred i am. Its right near by there, as a matter of fact. Its a competition of laurel and hardy impersonators. [ light laughter ] seth the old comedy duo. Fred the old comedy duo from the 20s. And, so i judge them seth are they from the 20s . Fred 20s, 30s a little bit. Seth okay, gotcha. [ light laughter ] fred but, so, i just judge them, you know. They just come from all around the country in these, sort of, they march up and down, like, this row. [ light laughter ] and they do their act, you know. And i judge them on whos the best one. Seth now, if im lets say im a laurel impersonator, do i have to show up with a hardy . Fred absolutely. Seth okay. [ light laughter ] fred we dont have time to, like, match people up. Seth oh, all right. [ light laughter ] fred thats unfair to everybody there. Seth gotcha. Fred i mean, its packed. Seth and how many pairs of people then how many laurels and hardies do you have every year . Fred oh, up to 70. [ light laughter ] you know, and they just go up and down for, like, a couple hours, and i judge it. And they win 70. Seth oh, wow. [ light laughter ] fred it matches the 70 people. Seth so, is it based on how many people . Fred yes. Seth okay, gotcha. Fred yeah. Seth so if 100 people are there, the prize money would be . Fred 100. Seth okay. Fred yeah. [ light laughter ] seth thats great, and whats it called . Fred its called freds laurel and hardy competition. [ light laughter ] seth oh, i cant wait. Fred thank you. Seth thank you so much, fred. Fred thank you. Seth give it up for fred armisen. [ cheers and applause ] our first guest tonight is an emmywinning journalist who hosts Anderson Cooper 360 weeknights on cnn. He is the coauthor of the New York Times bestseller, the rainbow comes and goes a mother and son on life, love, and loss, which is out now on paperback. Please welcome back to the show our friend, Anderson Cooper, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back thanks, good to be here. Seth so this is so much fun. Last time we were here, you were talking about how interesting it was writing a book with your mother. Yes. Seth you wrote it over email a lot. Yes, i did. Seth you did . My mom and i dont actually like see each other, so. [ light laughter ] no. It was just easier that way. Seth but now you are doing press together. We did press when the book first came out. My mom turns 93, actually, at the end of february, so seth its amazing. Yeah, it is. [ cheers and applause ] and, and its weird, though, doing press with your mom, like, as you well know. Seth yeah. [ light laughter ] you know, you discover all these things about this person who you never like my mom, and also at age now 93, she has no filter anymore. Seth right. I mean, she never really had a filter. Like, as a child, she told me early on, the first time she didnt fake an orgasm was with howard hughes. I was like [ light laughter ] seth and do with that what you will. I didnt understand. I know was like you know, when i was 10 at the time. [ light laughter ] it was inappropriate. But, so, i was at andy cohens show, watch what happens live. We were he was going to interview my mom and me, and my mom had never seen his show. Seth right. And, so, i told her a little bit about it while were in the greenroom. And she turned to me, and she says, hes not going to ask me who has the biggest [ bleep ] in hollywood, is he . [ laughter ] i know. Seth i was i know. I was like, who are you . Seth yeah. [ light laughter ] i was like, who, what . Seth yeah. Like, please, never say that word to me again. [ light laughter ] and then, andy comes in, and i turned to andy. I said, she wants to know if youre going to ask her who has the biggest [ bleep ] in hollywood. And andy was like, can i ask who has the biggest [ bleep ] in hollywood . [ light laughter ] seth based on the previous stories, howard hughes, im gonna guess. [ light laughter ] but she has she and then, i did we did an interview with jess cagle, you know. Seth sure. From People Magazine and entertainment weekly, and he has this, like, online thing, and he was interviewing us. And its called the cagle exercise, which is seth yeah. So, my mom was like, i dont want to do a kegel exercise. I was like, oh, my god. [ light laughter ] i, like, went to my special place. But in the middle of the interview, she suddenly revealed shed had a lesbian fling when she was in high school. I was like, what . Seth yeah. [ light laughter ] and youve just written a book. I know. I was like, you could have put that in the friggin book [ light laughter ] i was like, the subject did come up in the book, you know that would have been a good time to mention it. Seth but she likes andy cohen. She loves andy cohen. Seth i like, by the way, this speaks to because your mother is, to a degree, ageless, not just by her vocabulary, but she, like yes. Seth she has an elegance. Yeah, shes just seth but i like that i heard that she referred to andy, not as a son she never had, as the brother. Yeah, as a brother she never had, which, i was like, thats weird. But all throughout my childhood, actually, my mom would refer to people as her, like, fantasy daughter. Like, she always when i was a kid, she referred to cher as her fantasy daughter. [ light laughter ] like, cher from sonny and cher. So, as a kid, i was like, is cher my sister . [ light laughter ] i dont i dont so now, i met cher, actually, on andys show, and so cher now texted me. She was like, hey, little bro. [ laughter ] because i told her the story. Thats my cher. Seth there you go. Thats a really good cher. [ applause ] its not very good. Seth it is. I will say, i did im not alone. The people in this room who thought, thats a better cher than i thought anderson would have. [ light laughter ] like, hey, you little bro, emoji, emoji. Clap, clap. [ light laughter ] seth now, im jealous. I was always jealous that your mom was gloria vanderbilt. Oh. Seth but now im jealous that youre friends with cher. Well, yes. Well, cher watches a lot of new, actually. Seth yes, she really does. And, no. She does amazing things, like during hurricane katrina, i did a report about somebody who was feeding people just out of her own pocket, and cher, like, called me up. And she was like and at that point, id never even met her. And shes like, id like to donate a lot of money to that person. [ light laughter ] and, you know, she didnt make a big deal of it or anything. Seth yeah. Yeah. Seth no, she is a classy lady. Thats nice to hear. She used to call up cspan i had never actually saw this, but i heard reports. She used to call up cspan at, like, 3 00 a. M. And, like, for callins to cspan, and she would be like, im calling from malibu. [ light laughter ] and the person would be like the anchor would be like, is this cher . [ light laughter ] seth its amazing. Yeah. Seth by the way, its not like theres a lot of hot calls coming into cspan. Shes calling a lot if theyre bummed out, yeah. [ light laughter ] you, obviously, you work on tv now. Youre a guest on talk shows all the time. But thanks to your mother, you were a you appeared on a talk show at a very young age. I did. I did. I was on the mike douglas show. Seth okay. I dont know if you remember. Seth like, barely, sure. [ scoffs ] what . It was a big that was a good booking. So, i was on the mike douglas show, but i wasnt on with my mom or anything. I was, like, 10 years old at the time. I was on with some friend of my moms, who for some reason had costumes of the munchkins from the original wizard of oz, and needed a kid. So he asked my mom if i would go on the mike douglas show with him wearing one of the costumes of the munchkins. [ light laughter ] so, i got all excited, and told everyone in my sc