Transcripts For KNTV Late Night With Seth Meyers 20170111

Youre not my real dad, john [ light laughter ] the senate held confirmation hearings today for Donald Trumps attorney general pick Jeff Sessions, who was denied a federal judgeship over 30 years ago for his alleged support of the kkk. So wait, is he trying to convince us that hes less racist now that hes older . [ laughter ] you cant fool us. We all just came back from visiting our relatives. [ laughter ] man, nanas really chilled out on race. [ light laughter ] after past accusations of racism, attorney general nominee senator Jeff Sessions said today, quote, i abhor the klan and its hateful ideology. Though he refused to answer the followup question, ku klux or wu tang . [ laughter ] which klan, senator . [ laughter ] well wait. [ light laughter ] several costumed protesters were escorted out of Jeff Sessions attorney general confirmation hearing today, including one who appeared to be dressed up as dracula. [ laughter ] [ applause ] 63 billion messages were sent this new years eve on the messaging service whatsapp, and most of them read, are you watching mariah carey . [ laughter ] eric trump recently said that the Trump Organization will probably not pursue business deals in russia in the next few years. Theyll also probably not tell us if they do. [ laughter ] music streaming app spotify today offered president obama a job as president of playlists. And they say america isnt racist. White expresident s get offered jobs as corporate lobbyists, and they ask the black guy if he wants to be a deejay. [ laughter ] [ applause ] the German Government is investigating a recent surge in fake news after claims that russias attempting to interfere in the countrys upcoming parliamentary elections. Officials became suspicious when they saw this headline. [ laughter ] and finally, googles selfdriving car company has sad that it has cut the cost of Driverless Car Technology by 90 . So if youre still a little scared at the thought of driverless cars, youre going to love the new super cheap driverless cars. [ laughter ] we have got a great show here tonight here on late night. [ cheers and applause ] from the fantastic hit show dr. Ken on abc, ken jeong is back on the show. Were so happy to have him. [ cheers and applause ] and im incredibly excited about this. She ran Donald Trumps president ial campaign and will serve as white house counselor. Kellyanne conway is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] and she is formidable. Ive seen her in a lot of interviews, and i would say get ready for her to eat my lunch. I would say get ready for that. [ light laughter ] also, cocreator of nbcs the good place and one of my dear friends, writer mike schur will be joining us this evening. [ cheers and applause ] so youre here for a fantastic evening. Before we get to all that, though, the first confirmation hearing for president elect Donald Trumps cabinet appointments began today with trumps nominee for attorney general Jeff Sessions, who has faced intense scrutiny for his record on civil rights and immigration. For more on this, its time for a closer look. [ cheers and applause ] seth before any confirmation hearings for trumps nominees even began, there was already controversy over the fact that many of trumps nominees hadnt finished the full ethics review and background check process. Every cabinet appointee has to, by law, undergo a thorough ethics review. But according to the man who oversees that very process, thats the director of the office of government ethics, many are seriously behind schedule, including several current nominees from pre president elect trump, with confirmation hearings scheduled this week. Some havent even completed fbi background checks. Seth they havent completed fbi background checks. You cant even get a job at chipotle without a background check. [ laughter ] and this used to be a nonpartisan issue. In fact, Senate Majority leader Mitch Mcconnell himself sent a letter to democrats in 2009 insisting that confirmation hearing for president obamas nominees only occur after the fbi background check is complete, the office of government ethics letter is complete, and Financial Disclosure statements are complete. And to his credit, mcconnell has been 100 consistent now the republicans im just kidding, he completely changed his mind. All of these little procedural complaints are related to their frustration at having not only lost the white house, but having lost the senate. I understand that, but we need to sort of grow up here and get past that. Seth yeah, democrats, grow up. Everybody knows the best part about growing up is that you dont have to do paperwork anymore. [ light laughter ] now anticipating some contentious hearings, trump nominees have been practicing in mock sessions, and that preparation is probably especially crucial for nominees who on their face dont seem fully qualified for the jobs theyre filling. Like former Texas Governor rick perry, trumps pick to run the department of energy. As energy secretary, perry would be in charge of overseeing the Nations Nuclear arsenal, which reminds me finish building bomb shelter. [ laughter and applause ] perry will be succeeding a worldrenowned nuclear physicist, Current Energy secretary ernest moniz. By contrast, according to the daily beast, perry took four chemistry courses and got two cs, a d, and an f. [ laughter ] he got a c in physics and a d in something called meat. [ laughter ] i guess thats why he didnt get that job at chipotle. [ light laughter ] but today the focus was on senator Jefferson Beauregard sessions of alabama, trumps nominee for attorney general. Interesting fact beauregard is french for you fellas aint from around here, are you . [ laughter ] going into the hearing, it was crucial for the senate to give him a thorough and rigorous review, given his record as a hardliner on immigration and voting rights. Civil rights organizations including the aclu and naacp have objected to sessions nomination based on his civil rights track record. For example, cnn reported that as a u. S. Attorney in alabama, sessions once prosecuted a group of civil rights activists in an infamous voter fraud case, that their attorney said was racially motivated. Those activists were found not guilty. And one recently said of sessions nomination, quote, he shouldnt be up for anything, not even a dogcatcher. Dogcatcher is not of course a cabinet position, but if it was, you can bet Chris Christie would be begging for it. [ laughter ] please, boss man. Ill do anything not to go back to new jersey. Dont make me go back. Sessions civil rights track record explained why some protestors showed up in the chambers dressed in kkk robes. And you could tell they were protestors and not actual klansman because real klansmen never wear were number one fingers. [ laughter ] i mean, they think it. [ light laughter ] sessions has also expressed skepticism of attempts to remove the Confederate Flag from public buildings. In 2015 when alabama removed the flag from the state capital, sessions had this to say. This is a huge part of who we are, and the left is continually seeking, in a host of different ways, it seems to me i dont want to be too paranoid about this, but they seek to delegitimize the fabulous accomplishments of our country. Seth the civil war was a fabulous accomplishment . A fabulous accomplishment is a moon landing, not when brothers shot each other in a swamp. [ light laughter ] as attorney general, sessions would also be in charge of enforcing the nations drug laws, and given that several states, most recently california, have legalized the Recreational Use of marijuana, that puts sessions in a position to crack down on those states if he so chooses. And again, his previous statements on marijuana have not been promising. We need grownups in charge in washington to say marijuana is not the kind of thing that ought to be legalized. Its not funny. Its not something to laugh about, and and trying to send that message with clarity that good people dont smoke marijuana. Seth good people dont smoke marijuana . [ laughter ] tell that to willie nelson. Are you smoking any more or less marijuana these days . I think so. [ laughter ] seth the wording of his answer was vague, but i think its clear he meant more. [ light laughter ] so those are just a few examples of why the senate needed to aggressively question sessions today, but complicating that effort was the fact that sessions is currently a member of the senate, which means he has personal relationships with a lot of the senators who questioned him. In fact, before the hearing, multiple Democratic Senators went out of their way to point out that they exercise with sessions in the senate gym. You know, i go to the gym, were on the bikes together with senator sessions. We have worked out together at the gym. I said to Jeff Sessions in the gym the other day a good friend to chat with about football and family in the gym. Seth just when you think senators couldnt be more out of touch with everyday americans, they think its okay to talk to people in the gym. [ laughter ] how much you bench, bro . You need a spot . I spot you, you spot me . [ laughter ] bro bro, take your headphones out [ laughter ] illinois senator dick durbin even went out of his way to describe in detail how the two came to an agreement on sentencing reform for certain drug offenses in the senate gym. Dick durbin was trying to reduce the penalty for crack cocaine, which was 100 times higher than powder cocaine. Then he saw sessions in the senate gym. We both showered, were putting our clothes on, about to leave. I said, jeff, give me a number. Seth wow. [ laughter ] usually you get someones number before you shower together. [ applause ] once the hearing began, sessions faced questions on a variety of issues, including his record on immigration. In the past, sessions has offered support for the idea of an ideological test for immigrants, and voted against a resolution that stated the senate would not pass policies that discriminated based on religion. South carolina senator Lindsey Graham asked sessions about his position on those issues. Would you support a law that says you cant come to america because youre a muslim . No. Would you support a law that says that if youre a muslim, you say youre a muslim, and when we ask you, what does that mean to you, well, that means i got to kill everybody thats different from me, its okay to say they cant come. I think that would be a prudent decision. Seth and that question will definitely stop idiot terrorists. [ laughter ] did you get your visa . No. Why not . I said i wanted to kill everybody. [ laughter ] why . They asked i hate being a terrorist [ light laughter ] eventually, sessions was asked about his role in the campaign and whether it would affect his impartiality as attorney general, specifically as it relates to the investigation into Hillary Clintons private email server. Did you ever chant lock her up . No, i did not. I dont think. I heard it in rallies and so forth. Sometimes i think humorously done. Seth oh, it was humorous. Ha, ha, ha. Now i get it, it was a funny joke. Did you think it was funny, hillary . Oh, yeah. [ laughter ] she just doesnt she doesnt get it. [ applause ] graham also asked sessions about the Intelligence Communitys findings on russian hacking. Remember, these nominees have been preparing for weeks for these hearings, so presumably, he was ready to offer a detailed, indepth answer on what has been one of the biggest political stories of the last few months. Do you think the russians were behind hacking into our election . I have done no research into that. Seth youve done no research . Did you forget this was happening today . [ light laughter ] ive done research on that, and my job is interviewing celebrities in the middle of the night. [ laughter ] in general, though, we probably shouldnt count on the senate to get answers about cyber security, because they dont even know how to operate a clock. So just so my colleagues dont think im taking advantage of time, somebody didnt start the clock. Oh, its your clock. Oh, you got it, okay. Its just well, the light isnt working. Im sorry. I can read it now. Seth and it says here, its time to get a new senate. [ light laughter ] this has been a closer look. [ cheers and applause ] well be right back with ken jeong, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] has anyone seen we sent him on a coffee run. Alright. Ive got your latte. Large coffee with cream. And your favorite, mocha. Oh, where do you guys get your coffee . You gave me way too much money. Hes good. Make a mccafe run instead. For a limited time get any size coffee, freshly brewed every 30 minutes, for one dollar. Or a delicious small mocha, latte or hot chocolate for two dollars. Wake up and win the day. 48 hours of protection. I dont have to reapply this. Not once its really soft and almost velvety. As you put it on. Its like reaaally soft. Try dove advance care. For softer, smoother underarms. [beeping] the 2017 rav4 with Toyota Safety sense, standard. Toyota. Lets go places. A heart attack doesnt or how healthy you look. No matter who you are, a heart attack can happen without warning. A bayer aspirin regimen can help prevent another heart attack. Be sure to talk to your doctor before you begin an aspirin regimen. Bayer aspirin. [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back, everybody, and please give it up for the 8g band over there. [ cheers and applause ] also, im so excited this week. Fred armisen is back with us. Give it up for fred, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] and dont forget to catch freds portlandia season seven on ifc. Congratulations. Fred thank you. [ cheers ] seth i cant believe it. Blow my mind. Our first guest tonight is an actor and comedian you know from the Show Community and from films such as the hangover and knocked up. He stars in his own sitcom, dr. Ken, which airs friday nights on abc. Please welcome back to the show, our friend, ken jeong, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] seth how are you, ken . Fine, how are you doing . Seth im so happy to see you again. Thank you for having me. Seth did you have a nice holidays . Yes. Seth did you go home . Yes, yes. I went first after we wrapped dr. Ken for the winter. I went to see my inlaws in san francisco. Seth uhhuh. I was there for a few days in san francisco, the bay area. Seth there we go. I had a great time, and then i pivoted to North Carolina and saw my folks and my relatives there, so seth thats a fantastic. Its a whole swing of the west and the east. Seth now that you have a show that is to some degree autobiographical yeah. Seth are people is your family concerned that you will steal from their life and put it on to television. They are they are just assuming and aware and aiding and abetting in my theft of their lives. Seth oh. So they already know. [ laughter ] seth theyre happy to give it away. Theyre happy to give it because i have no stories to tell in the second season, so i do have to hack off my family, and thats why i went to the bay. Seth got you. Yeah. Seth normally you would not visit family. No, i would never see im a celebrity. Why would i see my family . [ laughter and applause ] no, im trying to break stories, people. [ laughter ] seth did you have any good now, are they do they feel proud . Do you think they watch with friends and say, you know, thats based on me . Yeah, my dad is, like, my biggest cheerleader. Hes like hes a retired economist and he just could not believe im doing this is my second career. I used to be a physician in real as my first job. So my dad when i go home, its a [ bleep ] shrine. You like where i go there . [ light laughter ] this is just like its a whole dr. Ken balloon. Oh, i like when you blew the balloon. Latex balloon. [ laughter and applause ] this is very nice. Its mean love. I mean, he just he [ bleep ] gets im sorry. I dont know why. [ laughter ] seth that was great. I hate my family. [ laughter ] i hate them. Seth but you are let me just say, you are the jackpot son. Yeah. Seth because your dad can say, my son has his own tv show, and before that he was a doctor. [ laughter ] yeah. Seth because my dad says, my son has a tv show. And nobody thinks i could have also been in medicine. [ light laughter ] so they must be so proud. Hes very proud and very supportive, and seriously, he was just so it was my wife who really, who was also a doctor, who really supported me doing knocked up was my first film, and really supported me do acting fulltime. And i was so scared doing this fulltime as an actor, and it was my wifes supporting. My dad was like, you know, i always said you have to have support of your family. Your wife is now your family, so you have my support. [ laughter ] it was very sweet, man. Hes the sweetest man. Seth thats really great. Yeah. Seth youre very lucky. Even though i [ bleep ] hate him. [ laughter ] seth you mean that right there. You have yeah. Seth i want to talk to you because theres a couple of dr. Kens travel tips. Yeah. Seth ive heard these, and im wondering if its worth adopting them. You have a charger issue. Yes, i am so neurotic with my chargers. Im that guy that im the worst case scenerio. Im the guy that gets that really bumps. Im like, oh, my god. My technology is on the fritz. I only have 98 . Seth oh, got you. [ light laughter ] im that guy. So, i have my iphone, and then, i have my portable charger for my iphone. This is not a bit. And then i have the wall charger for the portable charger for the iphone. But while the wall charger is charging the portable charger, i have another wall charger charging the iphone, repeat with the ipad and with, like, my bluetooth, which i still use, because im old. [ light laughter ] seth right. There are, like, literally a total of, like, nine chargers, portable and wall. Seth it sounds like a death trap. Yeah. It is a death trap. Youd think if i go through tsa, thered be some sort of, like, threat concern. But since most of my travel lately is l. A. And new york, its like, oh, its just chow, hes an ninny. [ light laughter ] seth oh, got you. Yeah, yeah. Seth because there is. You are still chow. Yeah. Seth to a lot of people from the hangover. Yes, that is the reason why im talking to you. [ cheers and applause ] im mean, it is the hangover. Seth i know you recently returned to doing standup for the first time in a long time. Yeah. Seth and is there an expectation that you will be more like chow than actually ken . Thats i tried to do standup back in april. And when i was doing standup comedy, a lot of it was just me, you know, having a medical day job. And that was the point of view. And now, its just more you know, i get up on stage, and it was just like, you know, tooda and im like, oh, so anyway. So whats going on the new do chow [ light laughter ] and im like, um, so, um so what i really think about the brexit is do chow [ laughter ] and well, i hate when the guy from europe said, toodaloo, mother [ bleep ]. [ laughter and applause ] you know, you just i sell out. I have no will, and im a hack. [ cheers ] i am what i hate. Seth this im very excited. You have 9yearold twin daughters. 9yearold twin daughters. Seth and one of them made appearance on your show this year on dr. Ken. Yes, yes. Zooey made an appearance playing my tv sons stalker. Seth okay. [ light laughter ] was that was this did this occur to you that your daughter would make a good stalker . [ laughter ] yes, exactly, to your point. To your point, i didnt want to give her any lines. So she just, like, want, you know seth yeah. Played to her strengths, no lines. And i wanted her i wanted her to i wanted her to just look through a window. And she does this very, you know, i have to be this doting dad. The very Buster Keaton has deadpan stare. Seth so solid deadpan. Yes, solid even as a toddler, she had this way of just not bre you know, just wouldnt break, you know. And its just the break in the laughter, and she just nailed it. Seth even when you did chow . Even when i did chow. I was like, i was like, toodaloo [ laughter and applause ] i said, thats my girl. Chip off the old block. But no, i have her back for a couple more episodes. But now, im like, she doesnt want to do it anymore. I think she is kind of getting bored with multicam. Seth oh, yeah. She wants to do a netflix thing. She wants to do more netflix, more streaming, more prestigious projects. Seth is the other twin, is she jealous . No, because, well, even though they are fraternal twins, and studies do show if anyones a fraternal twin, they are more competitive than identical twins. Seth yeah. And, but alexa and zooey seem to have this cold war detente of, like, my lane is gymnastics. You are, you know, you know, a nontalking actor. [ laughter ] seth right. So, you know, lets not cross paths. Seth right. Theyre like libertarians. Stay out of my world. Stay out of my yard, and ill be fine. Seth okay, perfect. You know. Yeah, yeah. Seth well im glad theres peace in the jeong family. Yes, yes. Seth and thank you so much for being here. Its always a pleasure to see you. Oh, thank you. [ cheers and applause ] seth congratulations on your show. Thank you very much. Seth enjoy, everybody, dr. Ken. It airs friday nights on abc. Well be right back with kellyanne conway, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] hi guys, i want to get your opinions on the first ever chevy cruze hatch. But more importantly, i wanted to get your opinions. Bark. You wanna check it out . The cruze has apple carplay compatibility. So when you plug your iphone in, some of your favorite apps show up. Bark. Plenty of space for all of mias friends. Or not. Gotta go current qualified lessees can get a sign and drive lease on this firstever cruze hatchback. Plus, find your tag and get an additional 500 lease cash on select chevy vehicles. Find new roads at your local chevy dealer. Imy bargain detergentgh a couldnt keep up. Isaster. So, i switched to tide pods. Theyre super concentrated, so i get a better clean. Tide. Number one rated. Its got to be tide tiki barber running hambone a barber shop . T hut yes surprising. Yes whats not surprising . How much money david saved by switching to geico. Fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more. Whos next . [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back to late night, everybody. Our next guest ran Donald Trumps president ial campaign. She will serve as white house counselor in the trump administration. Please welcome to the show, kellyanne conway, everyone. [ cheers and applause ] seth thank you so much for making the time. Its my pleasure. Seth i know youre very busy. You got swing state voters here . Seth i think we have swing state voters here. [ cheers ] there you go, two or three. [ light laughter ] so, first of all, i want to ask, do you think does the president elect know youre here tonight . He does. Seth do you think hes watching . I hope so. Hell watch at some point. Seth all right, good. Were fans. Seth thank you. I dont know if we are fans. [ laughter ] were fans. Seth all right, thank you. He was very successful on the apprentice. He built an incredible brand, a numberone show. Seth oh, were fans of nbc, not of me, personally. No, were fans of your show. [ laughter ] hes a tv guy. Seth i was waiting for you to say, we love a closer look. [ light laughter ] i want to find, first of all, a Common Ground and things we can agree on. First of all, i want to congratulate you, the first woman to ever run a successful president ial campaign. That was very impressive. [ cheers and applause ] thank you, thank you. Seth so i want to congratulate you on that. Also, ive seen you in interviews take issue with a group of people that you feel are sort of saying, not my president about donald trump. And i just want to make it clear that i do. He is my president. Good for you. Seth hes my president so much, its keeping me up at night. [ laughter ] no. Seth and because hes so exciting. Hes getting so much done. Theres so much activity already. I know thats what you meant. And first time if i can just back up one second. Seth sure. Its your show. I get so much credit for this campaign. And yes, i was a campaign manager, im really excited to go into the west wing with president trump, but we had a fantastic team, and i think theres no substitute for a quality candidate that connects with people and communicates to them. And he did that, but i wanted to share the credit. Seth oh, of course. That is very nice for you to share the credit. When you said that you are fans of my show, i have to say, i do it alone. [ laughter ] its a oneman show over here. No. So, should i go . Seth no, no, no, no. Youre good. Im done . Im done here . Seth so i want to ask, this broke while we were getting ready for the show, while i was getting changed for the show. Cnn had a report that the Intelligence Community briefed both the president and the president elect with allegations that the russian government has compromising information on president elect trump, both Business Information and personal information. I know this just happened. Can you confirm or comment on the fact that the Intelligence Community has presented it to donald trump . Well, guess what hasnt happened, seth. Nobody has sourced it. Theyre all unnamed, unspoken sources in the story. And it says it was based on a russian investigator to begin with. So, where are we . Do we seth i think it was based on an mi6 british investigator. Right, well one of those, and then, it said that it also may have originated with a russian investigator. And it also says that Hillary Clinton and groups that wanted Hillary Clinton to win may have been behind the investigations, themselves. And most importantly, it says that the fbi is trying to confirm it. So nothings been confirmed. And i have to say, as an american citizen, regardless of your party, or if you dont like politics at all, which are many americans, we should be concerned that intelligence officials leaked to the press and wont go and tell the president elect or the president of the United States, himself now, mr. Obama, what the information is. They would rather go tell the press. Seth but the press report was its an alligation. Seth about them going to the president. And it says they never briefed him on it, that they appended to two pages to the bottom of his intelligence report. Seth i believe it said they did brief him on it. He has said that he is not aware of that. Seth okay. That concerns me. [ laughter ] no, no. He is not seth im concerned. But in general, i just want to okay. Thats not fair. Seth i understand. No, i understand that and its not true. Seth what is not true, that im concerned . [ laughter ] no, that, i see. Seth okay, i assure you i am. [ laughter ] any, you know, any father of a newborn is concerned. Believe me seth yes, exactly. About that. But, no, its not fair that people dont give him his due. He received that intelligence briefing. Seth mmhmm. He made comments about it afterwards. And i have to tell you, there wasnt very compelling information in terms of the nexus that people like to make between alleged hacking and the election results. Vladimir putin didnt tell Hillary Clinton to ignore michigan and wisconsin. She did that all by herself. Seth no they spent more money on seth i agree. Georgia and arizona than they did in michigan and wisconsin. Seth im not going to sit here and argue with you thats how you lose. Seth that the Clinton Campaign was a well run campaign. Or that the russians interfered in the election successfully seth well that they disrupted our democracy, which is what we should all care about. Seth i agree. Is that true or not . Nobody has proven that. Seth but shouldnt we care if the russians try to interfere, where it affected the outcome of the election or not. Isnt that something that i sometimes fear that the president elect has no curiosity as to the amount they tried. That is completely false. Seth okay. He has enormous curiosity. Im there every day with him. He has a number of different meetings every day, briefings and otherwise. He was curious enough to figure out america. He knew america where many other republicans did not. Seth thats a pivot right there, kellyanne. No, and democrats did not. [ cheers and applause ] seth and by the way he understood america and won america. Seth no one does it better. Nobody does it better. However, i just did want to answer your question about what he learns and what he knows and what he believes. I mean, hes been very specific about what hes going to do in the first couple weeks and first 100 days. You can go and pull it up right now. I think thats why he won because he said 10step program reform the veterans administration. And he also said something thats very important, which is if we have veterans who are waiting in line, dying, waiting for care, who are we as a nation . I think thats a very important nonpartisan problem. Seth you have not picked the v. A. Secretary yet. Is that correct . Well, hes going to pick, but hes just seth but why hasnt that happened yet . Hes had so many different candidates with a diversity of backgrounds and opinions and vision for the v. A. He actually the list keeps getting longer. Weve had a long short list for all these different appointments. I guess the better question on the table is if we have eight nominees for the cabinet that are having hearings this week in washington, d. C. , seth, are we going to get fair hearings from democrats . We have minority leader Chuck Schumer of new york saying theyre going to obstruct any Supreme Court justice we puts up. Theyre going to embarrass and harass some of our nominees with information thats not important. I mean, we need a government that functions. President obama had seven nominees confirmed on Inauguration Day. Can you guarantee well get that by next friday on our Inauguration Day . Seth im not in charge, so i cant. [ light laughter ] but i will say, can you admit that there are some nominees that have put forward that the office of ethics has said, have said have not been fully had their background check by the fbi . And i just want to say, you ran a successful campaign, talking about draining the swamp, talking about ethics, talk being about Hillary Clintons ethics, making ethics a centerpiece of your campaign, and it was an effective method. And yet, now here we are, and it seems to me that you dont seem to think background checks are important for thats not true. When would i have ever that . Of course i think background checks are important. But let me take betsy devos for example. She has been nominated to be the secretary of education for this nation. Her hearing was supposed to be this week. It has now been pushed off. And i talked to her office today, and they say that she has completed all her paperwork. It got in there early, and shes confident that everything is in order, and yet, she cant get the hearing on time. Why is that . Why are we playing politics with the department of education or state . Seth well, its politics. [ laughter and applause ] it is politics. Well, for president obama, it shouldnt be. As president obama had seven nominees confirmed to his cabinet, including defense and state and treasury and commerce. Seth well, we still have time. So did president bush, actually. Seth all right. If theres seven we still have time . Okay. Seth if theres seven, we still have time. Ten days to go, folks. Seth im very excited about this. And obviously, i think a lot of the questions im asking you will be asked to the president elect tomorrow, First Press Conference tomorrow. Yes, very excited. Seth 63 days in. Why did it take so long . Thats a lot longer than president s usually take to speak to the press. The president elect has been very busy forming his government. Seth but every president who ever puts together has [ laughter ] they havent had they havent had, well seth they havent had to meet with kanye. No, they havent had to. [ laughter and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] seth they havent had the kanye meetings. I love the kanye meeting because seth i love the kanye meeting, too. Come on. Lets look at the schedules of other president elects, shall we . Seth im just saying they got their First Press Conference out a lot earlier. And said what . Does anybody remember what they said in that First Press Conference . Seth so, now youre saying its not important. No, it is important. Seth but wait, now. You just dismissed but we are accessible to the press. Here i am. We are accessible to the press on a constant basis. Seth you are accessible to the press. And i want to tip my cap to how accessible you are. Can you actually do that, like a make America Great again cap . Can you do that right now . [ light laughter ] do you have one under that desk . Seth ill tip an imaginary hat, but you cant see what it imaginary says. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i sort of can. I sort of can. Seth but, tell me this because i want to speak. It seems like you have to go on the press constantly. And it seems like one of the things you have to do is defend or explain what the president elect has said on twitter. Wouldnt it be great for you personally, if he tweeted a little bit less . [ laughter ] no. Seth just for you personally. No, actually, the answer is no. I think his twitter platform, like, his social media platforms in general, a combined 45 million followers or so on instagram, facebook and twitter. And its his way to communicate directly with the people. Its free for you. You get information from him. The press doesnt like it, because he does end run around them, and its the democratization of information. You dont have to wait for some journalist, an antitrump journalist to curate the information and bias it at liberty, but just read it. Seth but theres no followup questions. And then you stop well, theres plenty of followup questions. Seth not on twitter. [ laughter ] come on. Are you on twitter . Theres plenty of seth he doesnt reply to the followup questions. [ laughter and applause ] oh, yes, he does sometimes. Seth oh, he replies to things, but not questions. [ laughter ] look, this is the twitter. Think about what hes done twitter. Think about the trump effect, as i call it already. He has major employers deciding to move their factories out of mexico and back to the United States and keep those jobs here. Thats what leaders do. They do that even before theyre sworn in. Seth so youre okay with the president sort of picking winners and losers in the free market via twitter. Nope, nope. Im okay with him. Seth because thats what it seems like what he does sometimes. No, not at all. What hes doing is hes laying down incentives. Hes saying to them seth on twitter. And elsewhere. Seth yeah. And on phone, in meetings, and certainly in statements, but, look, hes an unconventional guy. Weve never had such a successful, brilliant businessman take office before. [ audience groans ] its usually a typical politician seth sure. Whos moving in place to place, while hes employed tens of thousands of people. Seth yeah. And he invested in the city of new york when nobody else would. He had vision, and he just, and he did. There are many buildings in this city that dont just seth yeah. Bear his name, but bear his vision as informator. Seth you said the other day on cnn that sometimes the press obsesses with taking the words out of his mouth, instead of judging him on whats in his heart. [ light laughter ] isnt it important to judge did i say sometimes . I meant all the time. Seth so you think its not important to listen to what hes saying, but its more important to listen to what is in no, i think its both. But there never seems to be the latter. Seth how do we know whats in his heart . [ laughter ] he expresses it seth he expresses it how . Out of his mouth. [ cheers and applause ] aha. No. Seth yes. [ cheers and applause ] so, heres whats in his heart. Does anybody remember what the president elect said moments after he received a call from Hillary Clinton congratulating, and yes, ladies and gentlemen, conceding the election to him as her president. Seth yes. Yeah, we all know that. Do you remember what he said . Seth no. He said, i will be the president of all americans, even those who do not support me. [ laughter ] and then, he said and i know were gonna we have such disrepect. Im guess im just astonished seth well, i will say im almost 50 years old. Im just so astonished to hear people outwardly ridicule the office of the president and its current occupant. I was raised differently, no matter who it is. Seth well, i respect i know the media and pollsters who were crap, didnt prepare you for the election results, but all you had to do listen to us. The cues and clues were there. Every day, i was on tv saying, heres how were actually going to win. Seth and again, he said he would be president of all of us, yet he has also said on twitter that said Vladimir Putin was right, that the democrats are being poor sports. Is that a president of all parties when you sort of take russias side against have you seen what the democrats have said about him . Did you that 1. 2 billion spent by hillary and her campaign, not even counting the outside groups . Seth i would say both sides and it was all antitrump. If anybody in the audience can tell me right now what Hillary Clintons message was in this campaign, im listening, because im not donald trump is not a message. And that was her message. She had no message. Seth again, a poorlyrun campaign. I got your back there. His message is jobs, health care. Yeah, but they look. Its important because people say, why is she still talking about the campaign . Because youre talking about the campaign, and they wont accept him as their president. Seth im not talking about the campaign. I am absolutely not. Ah, youre youre talking about seth im talking about whats happening right now. Right, but youre talking about democrats as poor sports and seth i didnt say that. He said that, and he didnt say it during the campaign. [ laughter ] he did say it during the campaign. Seth no, he said it december 24th on twitter. Thats true because they are. [ laughter and applause ] because they still wont give up. Seth so then, you are talking about it. Theyre still seth im not talking about it. Youre still pretending it was jim comey or russian hacking. It was Hillary Clinton. Thats my message. Seth all right, my last thing, and thank you, and i really hope you will come back because it is fantastic for me to talk to somebody within the Trump Campaign and within the trump presidency. No campaign. Seth no campaign. Thats right. I did it. You see . You did it again . Seth i will say this. Im going to make you a bet. Okay. I bet in the next four years we are not going to see the president elects tax returns. [ laughter and applause ] and i bet, and i bet, and i know, because this is talked about during the Campaign Many times. [ laughter ] i bet that most americans really care what their tax returns are going to look like after hes been president for four years. Seth i think that means you agree with me. Kellyanne conway, everybody. Well be right back with more late night. Thank you so much. Thanks, seth. [ cheers and applause ] to feel this special. You need to eat this special. I love it kelloggs special k. Made with whole grains and fiber. To help a body thrive. I love it folic acid and vitamin d. To make a body feel this good. Start your day with 150 nourishing calories. In a bowl of special k. I love it eat special, feel special. Discover more ways to eat special. With special k. 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From herbal essences, blooming now [ cheers and applause ] seth our next guest is an Emmy Awardwinning writer and cocreator of hit shows such as Brooklyn Ninenine and parks and recreation. His latest series the good place airs thursday nights at 8 30 right here on nbc. Please welcome back to the show, one of my very best friends, mike schur, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] seth hi, buddy, how are you . Im good, man, how are you . Seth im good. Im so happy youre here. Im so happy the good place is a show. [ laughter ] i am. Im happy that you now have given us because you cocreated parks and rec, cocreated Brooklyn Ninenine. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. Seth worked on the office. You have given us so many great shows. The good place, which, for those who havent seen it, is about this wonderful imagining about what an after life is like. Yes. Seth and how did you come up with this idea . Mostly it came from driving around los angeles and observing terrible Human Behavior on a regular basis. Seth sure. [ light laughter ] and, like, someone would cut me off, or someone would be at a stoplight and would be texting and wouldnt see that the light had turned, and then i would very gently and meekly sort of tap my horn, and then they would look at me like im the one with the problem. [ light laughter ] and i started wishing that there were just a mathematical point system. That it was like, you do those things, its like, you just lost 14 points. This, like and a little red negative 14 would float up in front of you. [ laughter ] and then there would be a Feedback Mechanism that was like, oh, maybe i shouldnt do that. And so i started imagining if that were what the afterlife were, if it were just a video game, basically. Seth yeah. That you get to the afterlife and they go heres your score, and the people with the highest scores go to , and the people, ehh, would go. [ light laughter ] seth yeah. And thats nice to think there are somebody actually you are a lover of stats. Yes. Seth youre a baseball fan, a sports fan in general. Yeah. Seth so it must have been nice for you to think theres a statistical fairness to the afterlife. I pitched it to early on, i pitched it to damon lindelof, who created lost and the leftovers, whos a wonderful writer. And he described it as basically the money ball universe. [ light laughter ] seth yeah. And when he said that, i was like, ooh, that sounds good. [ laughter ] seth ted danson, kristen bell, two of the stars. Ted danson, one of your alltime i mean, Gold Standard actor. Yeah. Seth Gold Standard sitcom cheers, and now this. Hes fantastic. Cheers, my favorite show, sam malone, my favorite character. Seth yeah. Ted danson i think ted shouldnt even act anymore. I think he should be put into the smithsonian. Seth yeah. [ laughter ] like, and he should be on a lazy susan, and he should just slowly rotate [ light laughter ] and then so then people could come and be like, theres ted danson like, he should be shared with all of america forever. cause hes that good. Seth were you nervous when you first met him . Extremely. I drove in my car down to meet him. And i thought the whole time in the car, like, youve got to be cool, like you have to be cool. cause this was like hes my hero. Seth yeah. And i was like, all right, im going to be cool. And i walked into the room, and he said, hi. Im very excited about this meeting, and i said, i bet im more excited [ laughter ] and i mean, im not kidding, that was sort of the high point. Seth it went downhill from there. It went downhill from there, yeah. Seth one of my high points in my life, no exaggeration, i got to be the best man at your wedding. Thats right. Seth is my best friend. [ audience aws ] seth which is one of the great [ applause ] and i had not you sent a few photos to show, basically i guess my arc over the course of an evening. Its a short arc. Seth yeah. So, lets start. Its a black tie affair here in new york city. Look at this classy gentleman. Seth thats a young man. A classy young man. This is 11 years ago. Seth youre right. Still classy there. Getting ready for the speech. This is the speech. Seth okay, gotcha. And now how many hours later do you think this is . This is probably four hours later. Seth four hours later not as good. [ laughter ] what am i doing . I dont know. Seth i dont i dont know i didnt know that move existed. Yeah. [ laughter ] but this is my friend aaron. Youre doing better than aaron. [ laughter ] seth yeah, thats right. I would say. Seth i we wrote together at snl. We had a great time. One of i remember its the hardest i maybe ever laughed working on a piece. It was you, me, poehler, horatio. Yeah. Seth i think matt murray. Yeah. Seth and now its the weirdest thing that we wrote. I know. Seth we wrote a sketch called Donald Trumps house of wings. Thats right. [ light laughter ] seth and in this sketch, 2004, theres donald trump. [ laughter ] he had a buffalo wing store. Yeah. Seth thats me dressed as a chick. [ light laughter ] theres poehler, yep. Seth theres poehler. A lot of stuff happened. I feel like if we had written it so that he himself had to be in one of these goofy egg costumes, this whole thing might not have happened. Seth yeah. [ laughter ] that it was seth cause we can none of us can ever be president. No. Seth no. [ laughter ] you cant ever be president if you wear an egg costume. But if you because he looks dignified next to us. Is this the information that the russians have on him . [ laughter ] this could be they could have mistaken this for some kind of compromising thing. [ light laughter ] seth somebody got a dossier in a parking lot, and opened it up and was like, oh, my god. Yeah. [ laughter ] seth oh, this will ruin him. This will ruin him. Seth thank you so much for being here, buddy. Its always such a pleasure to see you. Lets get dinner after this. Oh, that sounds great. [ cheers and applause ] seth mike schur, everybody. The good place airs thursday nights at 8 30 on nbc. Well be right back. [ cheers and applause ] crest complete presents sugar shield sugar is everywhere and crest complete has a sugar shield to protect teeth from sugar found in everyday foods. Crest complete. Shield your teeth from sugar. So sugar may visit, but its not sticking around. Ve been on im bushed my feel alyea me too. Excuse me. Coming through ride the gel wave of comfort with dr. Scholls massaging gel insoles. Theyre proven to give you comfort. Which helps you feel more energized. All day long. I want what he has. Making us north americasr are choosing nissan. 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[ applause ] announcer this week on late night with seth meyers. Andrew garfield. Mary steenburgen. Jude law. And cooking with action bronson. Head over to itunes to subscribe to the late night with seth meyers podcast and youll get a closer look and more downloaded right to your phone every day. Honey, arent we having friends over . It reeks in here. I know [goat noise] i stole the other teams mascot for good luck. We need to wash this room. Wash it . Yeah, wash it with febreze. For all the things you cant wash, use febreze fabric refresher wow [inhales] it really smells great in here. Dog barks and try pluggable febreze, with up to 4 times the freshness in one refill. Pluggable febreze and fabric refresher [inhale exhale mnemonic], two more ways to breathe happy [ cheers and applause ] seth my thanks to ken jeong, kellyanne conway, mike schur, everybody. Fred armisen. [ cheers and applause ] you remember fred, right . The 8g band, stay tuned for carson daly, well see you tomorrow. Carson hey, everybody. Whats happening . Im carson daly and you are watching last call. Thank you so much. Tonight, weve got a good one for you. Tony cox is going to talk all