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November 28th. [ light laughter ] when election day is actually november 8th. Unless november 8th is just a lie being spread by the liberal media. You know what . [ light laughter ] if youre a trump supporter you should probably just go with whatever he says. [ cheers and applause ] donald trump, last night, criticized republicans who are dropping support for his campaign saying, i wouldnt want to be in a foxhole with a lot of these people. Trump made the comment while talking to everyones favorite foxhole, bill oreilly. [ cheers and applause ] president obama yesterday criticized republicans for taking so long to denounce donald trump and asked voters, why did it take so long for them to finally walk away . Yes, seriously, at this point even trump has more than the bush tax cuts by at least a factor of two. Seth i dont want to i dont want to do this anymore. I dont want to do this anymore. [ light laughter ] Trump Campaign manager Kelly Ann Conway said this morning that republicans should decide whether or not they support donald trump and stop pussyfooting around. [ light laughter ] cool choice of words. [ light laughter ] thats the worst choice of words since Abraham Lincoln said, i need slavery like i need a hole in the head. [ laughter and applause ] today is our third day working in washington, d. C. Stop bragging, yelled jeb bush. [ laughter and applause ] [ cheers ] three days working in d. C. Eric trump sent out a Campaign Email this morning claiming momentum was on Donald Trumps side. Unfortunately its this kind of momentum. Meep, meep [ laughter and applause ] seth today was yom kippur, or as gary johnson calls it, the capital of thailand . [ laughter and applause ] i think thats right. Playboy has announced it will begin selling digital copies of the magazine on itunes and google play. Whats playboy . Asked a teen boy watching free pornography on the internet. [ light laughter ] were a week away from the final president ial debate. Please tell me theyre using podiums said the chair trump was humping. [ laughter and applause ] and finally, former House Speaker john boehner says he still plans on voting for trump even though he said, donald wasnt my first choice, wasnt my second choice, for that matter he wasnt my third choice. Who was your fourth choice . Whispered jeb. [ laughter and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, we have an outstanding show for you tonight. Youre here for a good one. Hes the Vice President of the united states, joe biden is back on the show. [ cheers and applause ] shes the second lady of the united states, dr. Jill biden is also with us tonight. [ cheers and applause ] and we will have music from a fantastic Country Singer and songwriter Sturgill Simpson is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] and i went to his concert here in d. C. Last night, it was incredible, he has a fantastic band, a great new album, and im so excited that youre all going to hear him tonight. Now, before we get to all that fun stuff, as Donald Trumps poll numbers continue to tank, Hillary Clinton is looking to shore up support among any democrats who might still be wavering amid new leaked documents that reveal her coziness with big banks. For more on this its time for closer look. [ cheers and applause ] seth you would think at this point hillary could just kick back with a glass of chardonnay and her laptop and just keep refreshing 538. Com until election day. [ light laughter ] after all shes running against a lying, racist, buffoon who doubles as billy bushs wingman. He was such a menace to democracy he doesnt even know the date of the election, november 8th, as he proved at a rally yesterday. Go and register, make sure you get out and vote november 28th. Seth i cant wait to hear trump on november 9th. Cnn is so biased, theyre saying hillarys already won the election even though its 19 days away. [ cheers and applause ] so thats the competition right now. Still, hillarys ties to wall street have caused her problems with at least one constituency, and thats young voters, some of whom have turned to thirdparty candidates as a result, which is especially disheartening when you imagine Gary Johnsons take on wall street. Well, is it a wall or a street . [ light laughter ] is it both . Because that sounds dangerous now hillary could speak directly to those voters concerns about what they see as a fundamentally corrupt Economic System and offer ways to address that corruption. But nah. Instead her campaign has asked for help from a surrogate many young voters may not even be old enough to remember. Hillary clinton is about to roll out her brandnew secret weapon to win over millennials. Al gore. [ light laughter ] seth al gore is your secret weapon to win over young people . What, you couldnt get matlock . [ laughter and applause ] [ cheers ] and when he campaigned with hillary yesterday, al gore was as exciting as ever. For those of you who are younger than 25 you might not remember the election of 2000 and what happened here in florida and across the country. [ audience boos ] but take it from me, it was a very close election. [ light laughter ] seth oh, al gore, yeah. You know, the reason hes been out of the political spotlight is hes working his side job as the lunesta moth. [ laughter and applause ] okay. So hillarys hoping that bringing gore out on the trail with her will help with millennials as long as there arent, you know, more emails out there about her cozy relationship with wall street. Thousands of hacked emails from her Campaign Chairman john podesta have been posted now online by wikileaks. They include what appear to be excerpts from transcripts of closeddoor speeches that clinton gave to wall street companies after leaving the u. S. State department. Seth at this point hillary emails get leaked so often she should just give us her password and let us log in whenever we want. [ light laughter ] although im pretty sure if we had to guess wed figure it out. [ laughter and applause ] now, a lot of the leaked emails have nothing to do with wall street and are in fact pretty routine. In 2014 email exchange, for example, a longtime clinton friend and ad maker, pitched possible slogans to sum up her candidacy and create excitement for her campaing. And this may surprise you, they were all terrible. Neither change nor continuity but the different way, the new way. She champions with clear vision and grit. We will build, not the partisanship, but rather the ship of state. Flying the American Dream flag. [ light laughter ] the ship of state . Flying the American Dream flag . That sounds like a bad japanese translation of a Lee Greenwood song. [ laughter and applause ] and that, may i remind you, that was from someone in advertising. They were probably responsible for the famous ad teddy grahams, the cracker beast who, within each, beats the heart of flavor. [ laughter and applause ] but the biggest revelations in these emails were the excerpts from what are allegedly Hillary Clintons paid speeches to Goldman Sachs and other wall street banks and they contain some very revealing tidbits. Hackers releasing purported excerpts of her paid speeches to big banks. Clinton saying when it comes to policy you need both a public and private position. In another speech clinton appears to contradict her own public stance on the hotbutton issue of trade, saying, my dream is a hemispheric Common Market with open trade and open borders. Seth now, the Clinton Campaign has tried to avoid commenting on these documents and implied that some of them might even be fake. A line running mate tim kaine tried on cnn on sunday without much success. I dont think we can dignify documents dumped by wikileaks and just assume theyre all accurate and true. Is this document then, is it accurate . Did she tell brazilian bankers that i have no way of knowing that. I have no way of knowing it. Well, you could ask her. [ laughter ] seth oh, oh, yeah . Oh, yeah, jake . Well, what if im too afraid to ask her, huh . Im tim kaine, im not going to ask Hillary Clinton a question. [ light laughter ] but hillary herself seemed to confirm the authenticity of the documents when she was asked in the debate about her comments on having both a public and private position. And it gave trump an opportunity to jump in. As i recall, that was something i said about Abraham Lincoln after having seen the wonderful Steven Spielberg movie called lincoln. She lied. Now shes blaming the lie on the late, great Abraham Lincoln. [ light laughter ] seth who says the late, great Abraham Lincoln . [ laughter and applause ] trump talks about lincoln like he was a hall of fame pitcher for the brooklyn dodgers. And lincoln throws one inside, hes keeping them honest. [ light laughter ] but it turns out hillary really was telling the truth, because in the actual transcript of that speech she says, if you saw the spielberg movie lincoln and how he was maneuvering and working to get the 13th amendment passed politics is like sausage being made, we usually end up where we need to be but if people are watching, then people get a little nervous to say the least. So you need both a public and private position. So i guess the real scandal here is that bankers paid thousands of dollars for Hillary Clintons movie reviews. [ laughter and applause ] in short, sully will goose your heart rate and then bring you in for a smooth landing, i give it 2 1 2 pantsuits, that will be 600,000. [ laughter and applause ] nonetheless, nonetheless there does seem to be a divergence in some cases between what hillary told wall street bankers behind closed doors and what she said publicly. For example, hillary insisted shes tough on wall street, yet when she gave paid speeches to those wall street banks it seemed like she was sending them a slightly different message. A passage where she contemplates just how to regulate wall street reform in a paid speech to wall street bankers. Theres nothing magic about regulations, clinton reportedly says. Too much is bad, too little is bad. She also allegedly said it was an oversimplification to blame the 2008 financial crisis on the u. S. Banking system. Then clinton reportedly suggests wall street insiders are whats needed to fix wall street, people that know the industry better than anybody are the people who work in the industry. Seth you went to wall street and told them they should regulate themselves . You think billionaires regulating themselves is a good idea . Have you met your opponent . And you can tell them to go [ muted ] themselves. Seth i know, i know. Hes not a billionaire. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] so look. Wall street already has incredible sway over policymaking. We dont need to give them more influence. These emails underscore just how important it is for people like Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren to keep up the pressure on hillary if she becomes president. Of course its still within the realm of possibility that trump could win if he gets his voters to the polls on election day which is november 28th. Seth okay, never mind. This has been a closer look. [ cheers and applause ] well be right back with more from washington, d. C. And the warner theater [ cheers and applause ] seth so in addition to the show this week, in d. C. Has been filled with cultural landmarks, historic monuments, and world class museums and now with the help of amazon echo, a voice controlled speaker that can do all sorts of things hands free, id like to tell you what ive learned while visiting places in our nations capital. Alexa, dim the lights. Alexa, play america the beautiful. America the beautiful from your library. Seth this is what ive learned if youre going to use the white house bathroom, knock first. And if you think you can outrun the secret service, you cant. [ light laughter ] this is what ive learned. Alexa stop. Well be right back with more late night. [ cheers and applause ] [ 80s music ] can i get anyone a beer . Make it a redds apple ale redds apple ale. Also for a limited time in ginger apple. [diggy by spencer ludwig] im jamie foxx for verizon, introducing lte advanced powering americas largest and fastest 4g lte network ever. And im also jamie foxx for sprint. And im also jamie foxx for tmobile. both also americas largest, Fastest Network ever. Oh, youre just repeating everything i said . both oh, youre just repeating everything i said . Im switching to verizon right now both im switching to verizon right now announcer vo theres no better time to switch to verizon. Now get the next gen network and the best value with no surprise overages. Switch and get 20 gigs and 4 lines for 160. All on americas best network. Youre not taking these. Hey, hey, hey youre not taking those. Woah, woah youre not taking that. Come with me. Youre not taking that. Youre not taking that. Youre not taking that. Mom, im taking the subaru. Dont be late. Even when were not there to keep them safe, our Subaru Outback will be. vo love. Its what makes a subaru, a subaru. Dry spray . Thats fun. Its already dry no wait time. This is great. Its very soft. Can i keep it . laughter all the care of dove. Now in a dry antiperspirant spray. Awarded best of beauty by allure. Whatcha got there . New cheezit sandwich crackers made with real cheese ummmm. Sammiches sandwich with a d sammich. Sandwich Sammich Sammich see ahahaha we take time for our cheese to mature, in our new cheezit sandwich crackers. Sammiches. What . Is he gone . . Finally, i thought hed never leave. Tv character why are you texting my man at 2 a. M. . No. If you want someone to leave you alone, you pretend like youre sleeping. Its what you do. If you want to save fifteen percent or more on car insurance, you switch to geico. Its what you do. Tv character taking selfies in the kitchen does not make you a model. [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back to late night, everybody. Please give it up for the 8g band right over there. [ cheers and applause ] also incredibly lucky to have some great musicians joining our band this week. From the ground breaking, grammy Award Winning rock band living color on vocals, corey glover is here, give it up for corey. [ cheers and applause ] also from living color, a true guitar hero, vernon reed is here. [ cheers and applause ] be sure to check out the latest ep from living color, who shot ya, and also a new fulllength album from the band next year. And joining us on drums, hes a fantastic player. Currently holding it down with bryson tiller, Thaddeus Dixon is here, give it up for thaddeus. [ cheers and applause ] thaddeus has a new song out, all about you. Featuring timothy bloom and talib kweli give it up for this amazing band everybody. [ cheers and applause ] they have been fantastic this week. Our first guest tonight was one of the guests on our very First Episode of late night. Were very honored to have him back. Hes also the Vice President of the united states, which is also quite an accomplishment as well. [ laughter ] please welcome back to the show our friend Vice President joe biden, everybody [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back. Good to be back. Seth im so very happy to have you here. Im delighted to be here. Seth you know, its great to have you on television because, lets be honest, you are a pro now at television. You are. Lets just look at some of the accomplishments you have. Parks and rec, nailed it, absolutely nailed it. [ cheers and applause ] law and order svu, nailed that. [ cheers and applause ] gave a clue on jeopardy thats really exciting. [ cheers and applause ] but i thought this was all last years stuff. But it turns out we found a tape from senator joe biden. Had a cameo on where in the world is carmen san diego. Thats true. Seth were going to show the clip. Because you had a natural gift even at that young age. Lets take a look. I understand our next urgent information is coming from ashley simms next, this is senator joe biden, what can you tell us, senator . Greg, Senate Leaders have just been briefed on robo crook. Hes in jackson hole. Now make sure its the last stop for the crook. Remember the acme triangle of excellence. Vigilance, dedication, and courage. Im counting on you. [ cheers and applause ] seth nailed it. I have one regret about that show. Seth what is the regret . I wish that donald trump had listened to us. We know where chechnya is, where any of these places you know what i mean . Seth yeah, if everybody had watched this show. He would have had a better geography lesson. Seth now i think the Television Show right now everybody seems to be watching the most are the debates. And i have to ask, how much do you wish you could debate donald trump . [ cheers and applause ] i think hed be too easy. I want someone like sarah palin. [ laughter ] seth yeah, exactly. You know what i mean . Seth you want that up there. It would be [ laughter ] i dont know what in the hell it would be. I mean, its a you watch and it you go, that cant be happening. [ light laughter ] seth yeah. Now for you a malarkey is term you use, and i think we all enjoy when you use it. But, you know, recently donald trump said that he considers himself a bluecollar worker. What a bunch of malarkey. Seth yeah, there you go. I mean god. I look, i just he its he has no notion by the way, it doesnt make him a bad guy, but he doesnt have a slightest notion of what its like to be a bluecollar worker. I mean, i just and the way he treats he says like, for example, when he said, you know, well, hillary said you stiffed all those workers. When you went bankrupt. And he said, well, maybe he didnt like the quality of their work. Heres the one i love the best. Workers make too much money. Seth yeah. Talk about making a worker blue. I tell you what, man. I mean, this guy is i shouldnt be i should be quiet. [ laughter ] seth well, i want to ask you this question. [ cheers and applause ] im gonna get myself in trouble. Seth we admire your restraint. I should be quiet. Id like to have him see my neighborhood. Seth heres the question about just the relationship and i know it must be different while youre campaigning as opposed to when youre actually in office between a president and a Vice President. But he was recently saying, he said in the debate that he and Vice President mike pence or his nominee mike pence, hadnt talked about syria, and had a different opinion about it. Is that a normal thing to not know . I think mike probably asked him to say that so mike wouldnt be embarrassed. Seth i see. Just to get it out. Thats my guess. Seth hey, if anybody asks just tell them we dont talk that much. [ light laughter ] we dont agree very much. No, its its a frightening notion to think that the Vice President and the president dont at least understand each others position. Sometimes you disagree. But, you know, its the idea that you dont have any idea is no idea. [ laughter ] seth yeah. On a very this is, you know, a serious note that i think came out of the tapes last week. You were one of the first people to point out that it was not locker room language, in fact, but it was the language of sexual assault. And someone who wrote the violence against women act, were you just absolutely. [ cheers and applause ] seth what did you find more stunning, the use of the language or the fact that there are still people who are defending it for not being what you called it out as . First of all, what i found astounding is that he would so publicly, even though it was in a it was even no matter who he was talking to, that he would acknowledge that he engaged in the textbook definition of sexual assault. He didnt say, you know, i go up and i ask. He said, i go up and grab and i can do this and i then i see in the paper today one of the pageants that he i guess miss teen america, the teen girls, three, four, five in a room, they were getting dressed, they were naked, he walked in, he said dont worry, girls, ive seen all this, and he stood there. I mean, this is absolutely outrageous behavior. And for us to ive spent most of my career trying to figure out how to begin to change the culture in this country so that we treat women with respect and with dignity. And this is [ cheers and applause ] i really mean it. Seth, i know i get fairly passionate about this issue. But my dad, everybody asks, you know, why am i feeling so strongly about this, why did i write the act, it was my mother, my sister. Thank god they werent victimized. But my dad used to say the greatest sin of all is abuse of power. And the cardinal sin of all is a man raising his hand or taking advantage of a woman. And it is and heres a guy who says, im a star. Talk about power. Im a billionaire. Im a star. Im a celebrity. So i can go in, intimidate women into allowing me to assault them and assume theyre not going to say anything. That is the ultimate abuse of power. And i dont think and i dont understand how anyone can remotely justify that. Now, i can understand i cant understand, actually. [ laughter ] seth yeah. I want to ask [ cheers and applause ] the tenor of this campaign, obviously it feels like almost every year people say, this is the worst its ever been. Youve been doing this 30 years now thank you for saying only 30. Seth yeah, well, im trying to near 20 years. But you is it true that your first election that you won, you actually felt so bad about the fact that you defeated your opponent that it made you cry, it brought you to tears . Well, it i did feel heres what happened. I was 29 years old. I got elected in a year that Richard Nixon won over 60some percent of the vote in my state. I ran against a really decent, decent man. He fought in world war ii. He was a threeterm congressman, twoterm governor, threeterm senator. And he was a decent man. But i disagreed with him on the war in vietnam and a few other very important things. And what happened was, his staff around him while he was working in washington, no one took me seriously to begin with. But by the time we got to september, we had my sister had run an Incredible Campaign for me. But together we had 20,000 volunteers. And we knew, and everyone around him knew we were going to be more of a threat. No one ever told him. I could tell when he called to concede that he was stunned as to what happened. And i felt he was a decent man. I felt badly for him. We have this thing on thursday after the elections since 1792 where the winner and loser of each of the races statewide goes down to the southernmost county, gets in a wagon, its a tradition, the winner and loser, and rides through town to show that were going to bury the hatchet, everything is okay. And so i called him, the kind of man he is, i called him on wednesday and said, senator boggs, im not feeling well, i dont feel well at all, so im not going to be there for returns day. There was silence. And he said, joe, i was proud to run every time i won. Ill be proud to ride with you even though i lost. Thats how politics used to be in my state. [ cheers and applause ] but you know, i dont think theres anything wrong in recognizing the contribution, the sacrifices, the character of someone youre running against. And when a person is really a solid person, i just felt i did at that moment, i felt very badly for him. Seth well that is that shows your empathy which i think we need a little bit more of in politics. Id love you to stick around because we have this great lady coming on, dr. Biden. And i think youre going to really love her. So, well be right back [ cheers and applause ] i love her more than she loves me. Seth more of joe biden as well as dr. Jill biden here on late night. Late night with seth meyers in washington d. C. Is sponsored by amazon echo. 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Its our dog. Seth this is your dog . Champ biden seth oh my goodness. That is, thats when you know youve made it, when you have a stuffed version of your dog, congratulations. [ laughter ] so i know, i introduced you as it, last time you were on the show you mentioned you do not love the title of second lady. No, i dont. Seth and you have a title you prefer. Yes. Captain of the vice squad. Seth captain of the vice squad. [ cheers and applause ] and i cant imagine theres a squad people wouldnt want to be on more. And now, but you have an alternate title as well, yes . Mr. Vice president . Joe none that i can say. Seth oh, good. Really . Joe theyre all endearing. Seth theyre all endearing. Yes, yeah. Seth but you cant say it. There you go. Hes not trump. Seth okay, there you go. [ laughter and applause ] so this is, last time you were on the show you talked about the fact that you have continued to be a professor at a community college. Uhhuh, yeah. Seth i went up to the green room to say hello to you before the show and you had a stack of papers. I always, always, i teach english so seth were you actually grading papers . Yes, yes. I have conferences tomorrow. Seth thats fantastic. Joe seth, we get off the plane in world capitals, shell walk off the plane with all the press there carrying her bag of papers. I said, for gods sake, jill, just leave the papers for a minute. [ laughter ] you think im joking. She marks in the limo going in. I mean, its like seth i would just feel bad as a student who wrote a paper that has to compete with the fact that youre in paris or something. [ laughter ] and now, i want to talk about, you know, obviously you live this fascinating life. You are, you have a lot of sports in your life. Youre a fan of sports. Is it true, your granddaughter plays with president obamas daughter on the same Basketball Team . Thats right, yeah. Same school. Seth and every now and then president obama will coach this team . Yes, he does. Seth im fascinated, in what kind, what kind of coach is the president . Hes a great coach. Hes a dad, yeah. Seth okay, yeah. [ light laughter ] ive seen a lot of dads who arent great coaches. I dont know. [ laughter ] joe but he intimidates the refs. Seth he intimidates the refs. Yeah, thats true. Seth he games the refs . Joe its a bad call and theres 18 secret Service Agents behind him with guns. [ laughter ] the guys looking at him. And he goes, you know. I said, mr. President , barack, you know. Seth but i have also heard that you are, of the two of you, you are the more vocal fan. I am, thats right. Well, im a philly girl. So i support all our philly teams. [ cheers and applause ] oh, philly, good. Seth yeah, you never hear of, she was a shrinking violet philadelphia fan. No you never do. Especially the hockey games. Seth and so you can you hear it, can you hear it, mr. Vice president , from other parts of the room . Joe this is the gods truth. The flyers are in the playoffs. Im downstairs having a meeting. She has the dog, the German Shepherd, come down with a flyers shirt on. [ laughter ] im not joking. A big German Shepherd. And then were im having this meeting, all of us hear, oh people are going, what the hell is going on upstairs . [ light laughter ] i swear to god shes up watching it alone, screaming. No, i had the dog. [ laughter ] joe no the dog was down with me, you sent him down. Seth the dog came down to say, im not, its very aggressive up there. [ laughter ] i know im a German Shepherd but ive never heard joe by the way. Were at a flyers game last year, no, no, i dont think joe oh, i shouldnt tell that story . No. [ laughter ] joe oh, this is, this is a philly girl. I was a little rambunctious. Seth okaot g a little rambunctious. So i want to talk to you both about this. Because i think it speaks to the kind of service youre going to do when this term is over. Youve been a family thats been affected by cancer. Youre also a military family. I want to talk about two initiatives. Talk about uh, moonshot. Okay, well, the cancer moonshot. Thats, we got, got started with that because as you know our son beau died of cancer last year. So we saw what families went through, and how hard and difficult it is. So then when the president asked joe to do the cancer moonshot, we thought, what an opportunity. And so weve traveled the nation, weve traveled internationally, weve talked to doctors and survivors and scientists and researchers. And so joes going to make a difference on this. And were going to take ten years of progress joe were gonna do this the rest of our lives. Yep, yeah. Seth well its quite an undertaking. Were all very lucky [ cheers and applause ] youve made the decision to do so. And then i also want to talk about joining forces. And we have some members of the military here in the audience tonight. Can we have a round of applause . They are. Where are they . [ cheers and applause ] can you stand up. Please, stand up. Joe all the military stand up. [ cheers and applause ] seth so tell us about joining forces. So michelle and i, when we first got together, and she said, what are you interested in doing . And i said, i want to support military families. And she said, thats what i want to do. So we got together and weve tried to raise awareness of the resilience and the courage of our military families and just how great they are. So, you know, weve done it through education and employment and health and, so its been just wonderful to me. All our military families. Joe she wont say, you know one of the things they changed . Love you guys. Joe when these guys and women came home, and they had a spouse that had a license to do anything from be a plumber to be a doctor, they had to take tests in every state they moved to. Yeah, in each state, yeah. Joe she and michelle got that changed. States saying, no, youre licensed in one place, youre licensed across reciprocity. Joe reciprocity. [ cheers and applause ] seth thats a small thing that makes such a big difference. I hope so. I hope so. Seth and i want to sincerely thank you both for the last eight years, and also thank you in advance for everything you plan on doing when this comes to a close, and no matter who our next Vice President is, i cant imagine theyll have more fun at a state of the union than you did. [ cheers and applause ] you set the Gold Standard for that. Please, a round of applause for Vice President joe biden and the captain of the vice squad, dr. Jill biden. Well be right back with more late night. [ cheers and applause ] every time i travel, its the moments that are most rewarding. Because youll never forget them. The new marriott portfolio of hotels now has 30 brands in over 110 countries. So no matter where you go, you are here. Join or link accounts today. Initiating retrieval sequence. Activating thrusters. Target acquired. Dang it ah come on astronauts can vote from space. Take a break from the election with red or blue tea. Make time for snapple. Against the new york times. He paper reported two women areacc innappropriately touching them. Warriors star meets klay tho check out the adorable video the library of congress. The library of congress is the oldest Cultural Institution in the nation. But did you know its also the place where your 8yearold son will inevitably throw a tantrum and yell this vacation sucks [ light laughter ] home to 36 million books, the library of congress doesnt contain a single swimming pool, water slide, or raft shaped like a swan. All things that your 8yearold will scream at the top of his lungs as you look intensely at your wife and say through gritted teeth, helen, we have to get him out of here. Now. The library of congress is known for its main reading room, which you will drag your son through kicking and screaming as adults stare at you and think you are bad parents who dont have a handle on your own son. As you exit the building, your son having screamed himself hoarse, you will think to yourself, yeah, maybe we did crap the bed here. Maybe it was really a dumb idea to bring an 8yearold child to washington, d. C. A place whose most exciting attraction is a white house with a man inside of it. [ light laughter ] im jamie foxx for verizon. In the nations largest independent study by rootmetrics, again, verizon is the number one network. Hi, im jamie foxx for sprint. And im jamie foxx for tmobile. both and were just as good. Really . Only verizon was ranked number one nationally in data, reliability, text and call and speed. Yeah and youre gonna fist bump to that . Get out of my sight. Dont get fooled by a cut rate network. Verizon gives you tons of data without all the restrictions. Get 20 gigs and 4 lines for only 160. With no surprise overages on americas best network. You mean like they got married . T union of a cheezit and a chip. Umm. I guess. Youd make a pretty bride in that wedding gown. Oh, its a lab coat so. Hey everyone, joes getting married bam bam ba bam. Oh, im not. We take time for our cheese to mature. In our crispy cheezit grooves. Your current gel antiperspirant wet ais. Sticky now, were going to show you how degree dry spray is different. Degree dry spray. Degree. It wont let you down. You dont own me dont try to change me in any way oh dont tell me what to do just let me be myself thats all i ask of you the new 2017 corolla with Toyota Safety sense standard. You dont own me toyota. Lets go places. That i was on the icelandic game show. And everyone knows me for discounts, like safe driver and paperless billing. But nobody knows the box behind the discounts. Oh, its like my father always told me put that down. Thats expensive. Of course i save people an average of nearly 600, but whos gonna save me . [ voice breaking ] and thats when i realized. Im allergic to wasabi. Well, i feel better. Its been five minutes. Talk about progress. [ chuckles ] okay. [diggy by spencer ludwig]ress. [ chuckles ] can i get anyone a beer . Make it a redds apple ale redds apple ale. Also for a limited time in ginger apple. [ cheers and applause ] late night with seth meyers in washington d. C. Is sponsored by amazon echo. Check out more election stories by adding the nbc news red, white, and you flash briefing on your amazon echo and then ask for the news. Seth my next guest is a grammynominated and critically acclaimed musician currently on tour in support of his album a sailors guide to earth. With us to perform welcome to earth pollywog, please welcome the fantastic Sturgill Simpson, everybody [ cheers and applause ] hello, my son welcome to earth you may not be my last but youll always be my first wish id done this ten years ago but how could i know how could i know that the answer was so easy ive been told you measure a man by how much he loves but when i hold you i treasure each moment i spend on this earth under heaven above grandfather always said that god was a fisherman amd now i know the reason why and if sometimes daddy has to go away oh please dont think that it means that i dont love you oh how i wish i could be there every day because when im gone it makes me so sad and blue and holding you is the greatest love ive ever known when i get home it breaks my heart seeing how much youve grown all on your own and hear me cry from a thousand miles away every cry all night long well can you hear me crying ive come apart baby ive come apart baby crying on you [ cheers and applause ] seth Sturgill Simpson, everybody give it up for this incredible band. A sailors guide to earth is out now. Well be right back [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] seth my thanks to Vice President joe biden, second lady dr. Jill biden, Sturgill Simpson, everybody Thaddeus Dixon, corey glover, vernon reid, and of course the 8g band. Stay tuned for carson daly. Well see you tomorrow. [ cheers and applause ] carson hi, im carson daly, it is last call. Tonight, weve got an awesome show for you as we are stationed high above new york city at skylark. Heres what we got coming your wa

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