Anthony weiners laptop too. Guillermo jimmy, youre crazy, you cannot burn all of this. Jimmy i have to. It will set us free. Guillermo i cannot believe its over. Jimmy its over, guillermo. And ill tell you something. No one will ever build a wall between us. Guillermo thats right, jimmy. Jimmy lets go do the show. Guillermo lets go do the show. [ cheers and applause ] dicky from hollywood, its jimmy kme tonight, Robert De Niro. Cohost of the amas, gigi hadid. And music from Willie Nelson. And now, for the most part, [ cheers and applause ] . Jimmy very nice. Appreciate it. Welcome. Im jimmy, im the host of the show. Thank you for watching. Thank you for coming. I have to tell you something. I had the weirdest, weirdest dream last night. Remember that guy who used to host the apprentice . I dreamed we elected him president. And you were there, and you were you werent there. [ laughter ] cleto, you werent there either and your father wasnt there either. But everyone wow, what the hell happened . The hats worked. Those stupid hats. Those hats that looked like they were printed at a kiosk in the middle of a westfield mall. Turns out they were magic, like frosty the snowman. Last night donald trump reached out and grabbed america by the virginia. [ laughter ] to somehow become president of the United States. About this . I dont want to spoil it. [ laughter ] should have said spoiler alert. I watched News Coverage all night last night. It was especially interesting to watch the change in tone as the night progressed. They started out upbeat. As the evening went on and the results came in, every anchor looked like a child slowly realizing that no one was showing up to his birthday party. [ laughter ] it was a big surprise. I think it was even a big surprise to donald trump. Did you see his victory speech . He didnt want this. He wanted to win but he doesnt actually want to be presidt. [ laughter ] this was not the plan for the remainder of his life. His plan was to go home to miralago, play 5,000 rounds of golf, phone into trump tv every morning for ten years, then die on the toilet. That was his plan. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy theres no way he thought he was going to theres just no way even he thought he was going to win this. He totally wrote that victory speech on his hand 30 seconds before walking out. Did you see his son . His little son baron on stage . Theres his son. Its very cute kid, but it looked like they told him he was going to have to move away from his friends two minutes before they pushed him out on the stage. [ laughter ] hes not excited about any of this. Trump won the Electoral College by a fairly wide margin, even though Hillary Clinton won the popular vote. Turns out its not a popularity contest, folks. It was a stunning upset. I think in hindsight, i think the problem for hillary was its easy to say now she didnt have enough celebrities supporting her. [ laughter ] that really was so many people said theyd move to canada if trump won. All over hollywood today, movie and tv stars were googling, is there gluten in pouti in. E . Hillary underperformed among women, africanamericans, hispanics and young voters. Really the only place she did very well was among pollsters. Shes polls, all these polls, washington post, bloom bearing, reuters, they all had Hillary Clinton ahead. They were all completely wrong. They should shut that fivethirtyeight. Com down. That website should be closed in disgrace, like abu ghraib. Turns out these poll numbers youre refreshing in your browser constantly are no different that those experiments where they make hamsters ring a bell for a dropper full of sugar water. Its meaningless. Nate silver has been downgraded to nate bronze. The only poll that got it right wa t even that, predicting whos going to be president is like people who tell you they know what sex your baby is going to be. These women are like, its a girl, im telling you. Yeah, there are only two choices so its not exactly a leap. Give me some lottery numbers that will win, well talk. We thought we were having a girl. And we got a boy instead last night. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] one thing i do know is im never trusting these polls again. Somehow i feel like this is all ken bones fault, right . Actually, we do know where the scales tipped. Lets go now to our magic wall to show you how it happened. Come over here and ill explain the whole thing. [ cheers and applause ] this is the United States of america. So lets take a look at the state of california. Okay, well zoom okay. Where aetd whered it go . Zoom in on l. A. County. Lets move in hollywood. You can see thats hollywood. And lets zoom in even close over hollywood. Okay. Now this is our theater. [ cheers and applause ] so thats us. And lets zoom in even closer now here, because now this is you see this guy . This is the guy who tipped the scales in favor of donald trump. Right there. This election really divided people. Even families. This is a good indication of that. Cnn caught up with a couple in line to vote in pennsylvania who when it came to politics seemed to have irreconcilable differences. Why are you voting for donald trump . Hes the best there is right now. Come on, we need somebody strong, we need our country that can be our country again and not owing all the other countries. Arent you excited for the first female president . No i am. Jimmy someone slept on the couch last night, im just not sure who. A lot of voters woke up this morning happy donald trump won the election. The other half of them, especially in california, were very upset, shocked, despondent, crying. There was a lot sorrow in the air today. And its natural, when everyone goes through this sort of thing at some point, were not so different. So i thought it might be helpful to take you through what they stage one is of course denial. As in, no, the host of Celebrity Apprentice is not our president , he cant possibly be cnn must have the map wrong, they must have missed a county or something, wolf blitzer, please tell us you missed a county but of course wolf didnt miss a county. Hes wolf, he doesnt miss counties. And then when denial passes we move to stage two which is anger. Who do i blame for this . Bernie supporters . The fbi . Gary johnson . Jill stein . How is it boss that i believe half the country was too even vote . They all managed to play pokemon go. Then you go on facebook and you curse at the uncle you used to love when you were a kid. When thats done, the next stage, bargaining. Maybe this needed to happen to wake everyone up. Maybe this is a good thing. Maybe hell only build the wall waisthigh to keep short people out. [ laughter ] search for a ray of light that kind of thing. But then depression sets in. Stage four. And start eating Peanut Butter out of the jar. A whole box of froot loops in bed. Rou you wallow until you reach stage five, acceptance. No matter how you feel about it, donald trump is the president of the United States of america, so thank god we legalized marijuana yesterday. [ cheers and applause ] this was a fun moment from Election Night coverage. Live report from democracy plaza where freedom and chaos reigned. I want to take you through the crowd here and show you some of the voters. Weve got a lot of clinton voters over here. Weve got some Trump Supporters behind us. And what we find is about 50 of this country, 60 of this country, believe that this country will be divided when we wake up tomorrow. And so this is an area oh jimmy he voted for boozeman. New york for election day. Donald trump went to the polls with his wife melania, the news cameras caught him on camera looking. A lot of people speculated that he was looking at her ballot. He wasnt looking at her ballot, he was looking down her shirt. Poor melania, ive been thinking about her a lot. She had it made. Except for the part where donald trump claimed on top of her between four and seven times a month, she had it made. Now shes got to move out of apartment in new york, she has to host diplomats and spearhead initiatives, she has to hug poor people, which is gross. She cant go to barneys or saks or bergdorf goodman. Shell have to cut back on nannies. This is a disaster for her. Bill clinton, he had big plans the moment that air force one left the tarmac, he was ready to one guy hosel greating is russian president vladimir putin. He has some kind of weird longdistance relationship with donald trump. He was quick to congratulate his new friend from moscow today. [ speaking russian ] translator this was so much easier than we thought it would be. [ speaking russian ] translator congratulations to mr. Spaghetti hair on his hilarious victory. [ speaking russian ] translator i look forward with him to destroying the moon. Jmy hes such a good boyfriend, he really is. We have a strong postelection show for you tonight. The great Robert De Niro is here. [ cheers and applause ] on a personal note, my birthday is on sunday. And mr. De niro is one of my favorite actors, kind enough to take some time out of his busy schedule to record a special message for me, which ill share it with you, very sweet. Hes so blatantly stupid. Hes a dog. Hes a pig. Hes a con, a bull [ bleep ] artist, a muck, hes an embarrassment to this country. It makes me so angry that this country has gotten to this point that this fool, this bozo, has wound up where he has. Id like to punch him in the face. Jimmy oh. Well, thank you, robert. [ cheers and applause ] supermodel gigi hadid and music from Willie Nelson. [ cheers and applause ] a lot happened last night. And there are a lot of questions to be answered. But none of them are bigger than a question that has been presented to me multiple times today. That is, what does the result of this election mean from my historic solo bid for Vice President of the United States . And the answer is, it doesnt mean anything at all, because im still running. Hillary can give up. I dont give up. I dont concede. I run until i win. So i hereby announce that the committee to elect kimmel vice will heretofore be known as kimmel for Vice President 2020 thank you [ cheers and applause ] and this time im going to sell hats all right. We have to take a break. When we come back we have legalized marijuana in california for everyone, not just those with a fake doctors note. And we close out this election animal house style so stick around, well be right back. [ cheers and applause ] . Coming up on look famous people we catch flo, the progressive girl, at the supermarket buying cheese. Scandal alert flo likes dairy . woman busted [ laughter ] right afterwards we caught her riding shotgun with a mystery man. Oh, yeah [ indistinct shouting ] is this your chauffeur . What . no, i was just showing him how easy it is to save with snapshot from progressive. You just plug it in and it gives you a rate based on your driving. [ light laughter ] laugh bigger. [ laughter ] these are the gifts that absolutely had to be there on time. Because these are no ordinary gifts. Theyre the ones for an adventurer. Dpa. . . Whoa. The gift theyre waiting for is waiting on ebay. . New, unique, and everything in between. . My hero zero. . . Such a funny little hero . . But till you came along . . We counted on our fingers and toes . . Now youre here to stay . . And nobody really knows. . Zero really can be a hero. Get zero down, zero deposit, zero due at signing, and zero first months payment. On select volkswagen models. Sign then drive event. Right now at kohls, its time for holiday entertaining so roast the turkey, make the cookies and set the table. So you can give a little more this holiday. Kohls. There is no typical day. Theres nothing typical about making movies. Im victoria alonso and im an executive producer at marvel studios. We are very much hands on producers. If my office becomes a plane or an airport the surface pro is perfect, fast and portable but also light. You dont do 14 hours a day 7 days a week for decades if you dont feel it in your heart. Jimmy hi, there. Thank you, welcome back. Robert de niro, gigi hadid, music from Willie Nelson on the first an update on local politics. In addition to the race for president we had a number of measures and proposition on this bat lot here in california. Yesterday we voted to legalize marijuana for recreational use. It used to be [ cheers and applause ] for medical use only, now its for recreation. Just like Michelle Obama said. When they go low, we get high. [ laughter ] yesterday, california, massachusetts, and nevada voted to legalize pot. Which is very good, especially for nevada. Im glad they finally came up with a way to cut loose in las vegas. [ laughter ] normally this kind of thing would get a lot of attention. But Donald Trumps victory overshadowed that decision. Even for the people here in california to whom it mattered most. [ bleep ]. I may move to canada, [ bleep ], [ bleep ], [ bleep ]. They show you what they really give a [ bleep ] about. Do you understand we just legalized marijuana in california and snoop dogg so is upset he wants to move . We just legalized marijuana, smoke weed every day. So finally snoop dogg can smoke weed every day. On the ballot, prop 60, which is the one that would have required use of condoms in porn graphic films. That did not pass which is significant because it would have been a huge to the adult film industry. And they have plenty of those already. Porn actors will not have to wear how weird would it be if thats the first thing trump overturns . You put these on right now donald trump may be president elect but to me the big winner last night was the young man youre about to see. This is from nbc chicagos coverage of a local election there. The Victory Party that the whole family could enjoy. He was ahead in lake county, he was always ahead in cook county, and he ended up pulling out this win feeling very good about this. He talked about the win and the president ial election. A lot of people felt like that. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] the question now is, whats next . Trump is expected to meet with president obama tomorrow at the white house. Our first africanamerican president will be forced to pass the keys to a man who questioned his very citizenship, which will be very awkward. At the very least i have to imagine obama will let beau his dog go to the bathroom a few time on this the rug in the oval building the wall and assembling his cabinet, taking down the paintings of the previous president s, replace them with portraits of himself playing golf. No matter how you feel about the result of this election, the good news is the election is over. Its done. [ cheers and applause ] finally we can look to the future. What will the future hold for those weve got to know know so well the last 18 months, the characters from this election . Nobody knows for sure. Fy had to guess, that guess . Well . And it wasnt her fault . You make me want to kick my heels up . Stand up, melania, come on sheook a lot of abuse. . . Jump . The price of coal is down worldwide. The thing that people tell me is this. . . Say that you love me say that you need me . You look like Hillary Clinton one of one of those long answers, rrrrrrr . Come on now i still remember . What do you think you took away from today . My luggage were not doing the obligatory political stand there with a gun, finger on the trigger. Geez. . I want you to know . So here i am. A little new to the convention scene. . Everythings right in the world again. We beat Hillary Clinton now by 2 points . . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy we have a good show tonight. We have music from Willie Nelson, gigi hadid is here, well be right back with robert yea. Look at us were twinsies i know who you guys are rooting for. Old navy were all wearing old navy. But theyre not a team. Oh really . Sweaters, coats, hats, gloves, and scarves in unison all half off okay. Enjoy the game. What game . Okay. Says it wont let up for a while. The cadillac xt5. What should we do . Tailored to you. H apple carplay compatibility. . Now during seasons best, get this low mileage lease on this cadillac xt5 from around 429 per month, . The citys looking like a ghost town . . On a moonless summer night . . Raindrops on the windshield . . Theres a storm movin in . . Hes heading back from somewhere . . That he never should have been . . And the thunder rolls. . Jimmy welcome back to the program. Tonight you can see her cohosting the American Music awards monday, november 20th, on abc. Supermodel gigi hadid is [ cheers and applause ] then this is his latest album called for the good times a tribute to ray price, the great Willie Nelson. Is it a coincidence that willie is here on the day after we legalized marijuana . Tomorrow night, matthew broderick, butch walker and t. I. Will be with us. And we have a new show on friday with linmanuel miranda, ken jeong and 12yearold albert tsai, and we will hear music from banks. Center honoree and does the best impression of Robert De Niro of anyone. His new movie the comedian opens in select theaters december 2nd. Please welcome Robert De Niro [ cheers and applause ] . Jimmy how are you . Okay. Jimmy i have to say im so scared of you. Its almost ridiculous. I spent the whole day thinking about just how this conversation could go south. And ill be just talking, youll be sitting there staring at me. [ laughter ] how are you feeling today . Huh . Im not feeling good. Jimmy youre not. No. Jimmy that also worried me, yeah. Are you still going to punch donald trump in the face . That. I cant do that now. I have to respect that position. Though we all know what he anyway. You know, i just have to see what hes going to do and how hes really going to follow through on certain things. And as we even see now in a lot of cities, a lot of people are getting very upset and protesting. Jimmy but whats the point of that, really . I know, i know. Jimmy the protesting. He is the presiden do have to im sure president obamas speaking from his own personal experience when he didnt get a whole lot of support. Sure. Jimmy hes saying, were all on the same team. Right. Jimmy and occasionally teammates do punch e